#dont want to see people dont want to talk to people dont want to be touched dont wanna hear noise. awful awful awful

[yandereend]

Yandere Househusband

The wedding

P. 2/?

TW : normal yandere stuff, dubcon, reader is into it?, Tyler talks about children, both are like 18 or 19

Btw English is not my first language so please keep that in mind

🩵Also thanks to everyone who wrote nice comments under the first post🩵

You sometimes watched those trashy shows about the bridezillas who were obsessed with their weddings and made everyones live hell. Like many people you hopped to never be in a situation like this. But here you were sitting besides your fiancé while he discusses flower arrangements, acting like a giant brat.

Is it so hard to put together bouquets with ALL pink flowers?!

Sir we dont have enough pink lillies for all your decorations. You should reconsider some of your choices-

I‘m surrounded by idiots!! My spouse wanted pink lillies so i don’t care if you don’t have them stocked!! Just buy them!

That would be even more expen-

Just do it !!!

And with that Tyler took your hand and you both exited the flower shop. It was almost comical how such a small thing could affect a grown man so much, but hey it’s his day. Tyler had a big pout on his face so that called for your attention and pampering.

Tyler don’t be upset.

But its our day my darling, everything should be perfect! We spend so much time picking out your (suit/dress/whatever you want its your wedding) and my suit. The flowers have to match or everything was for nothing my dear!

Not everything has to be perfect.

Oh yes it does! Have you never been on pinterest ?

That was the whole wedding planning in a nutshell , just an avid pinterest user placing together the wedding of their dreams( yandere style). Sometimes it was cute seeing Tyler being so invested in the wedding, other times it was more than annoying to cater to his perfectionism.

You also often thought about how quickly things progressed. I mean you just graduated high school and are already engaged and working for your fiancés father. Tylers father, Eric, was a great boss, you often wondered why people were scared of him. It’s just your nice father in law! Always explaining everything to you and hyping you up as the next in line of the family business. I mean you’re almost a part of it.

And Tylers mother, Ramona, was the same, always acting like she’s your real mother and caring for you. Not to mention Tyler himself. You were not suprised when he didn’t went out to look for a job or university, he always promoted the idea of a traditional family with you as the breadwinner in the center. And hey, his parents gifted you a house as an engagement gift, so its safe to say that you wont suffer in the presence of those saints.

At least that’s what you thought of them, little did you know that they were the reason why most of your friends cut contact and your family hardly called after you moved out. But hey who needs them anyways.

So while all these thoughts ran through your mind here you were, walking down the aisle with your father and finally seeing the man of your dreams in his perfectly tailored suit and styled hair, with tears in his eyes witnessing your beauty.

Your wedding vow was rather short but still packed with the love you felt for your husband. And after he put himself together, because of his happy tears, he read the most beautiful wedding vow you ever heard touching your heart and everyone else’s in the chapel. So when you finally get to put the rings on each other’s fingers you both stand up there with tears in your eyes.

And when you both finally unite in a grand kiss your fate was finally sealed. Tyler had you finally completely in his grasp, even if you didn’t realize it. And he,as well as his family, will never let you go. So enjoy your wedding party with your family and friends, you won’t get to see them any longer my dear.

Till death do you apart.

🩵Thanks a lot I hope you enjoyed it, I am planning on making this a series so please comment ideas for your life with your new husband 🩵

#yandere fic #obsessive yandere #yandere community #yandere core #yandere x reader #yandere househusband #soft yandere #yandere fiction #yandere fanfiction #yandere male #yandere husband #yandere bf #yandere boy #sub yandere #yandere writing #yandere #yandere stories

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTROLOGY TIPS - ASPECTS

Sun/Venus - A person with a sun/venus aspect has a charming ability that can masks itself into getting others to do what you want. The original sirens. Learning how to express this more often can garner them more fame, respect and power. They are naturally popular, but if they dont know how to awaken it, they usually have to embrace their sensuality much more often and get more into the spotlight.

Jupiter/Moon - Knowing what works is a natural ability they have. This takes a little arrogance on their end (jupiter) and trusting the power of intuition (moon) to make it more favorable. It seems as if that placement just knows things without knowing. And they should be more honest with themselves instead of guarding this gift. You never know when someone is going to need your intellect in somethning.

Mars/Moon - Hidden geniuses when it comes to working hard for something. That inner passion they feel sparks up real big energy, so a small tip for them is to work on that thing each day no matter what. It could be 30 minutes a day or whatever, but to keep the drive and focus churning more they have to keep the momentum.. because once they stop its harder to get back in with that same momentum.

Pluto/Sun - Transformative by nature, they need to spend more time in nature imo.. Nature is the inner reflection of us all, so these people have to learn to transform themselves like the way of the water, the trees, butterflies etc. Like how the seasons change, so do y'all. Very similar in nature to sun/neptune but more on the darker end. You guys need to be at peace with your transcendence and not reject it. The more you open yourself up to others the more powerful you become. <3

Mars/Jupiter - Being able to focus on a path that makes your heart sing, that is transcendence. You guys have a big appetite for learning, so putting all your effort in making a stronger impact on your mind is necessary. The choices you make in bettering yourself is a form of self-mastery and at some point might take up space. We're dealing with jupiter, after all.

Sun/Moon - Whew. I love yall. such a whimsical energy present. Your love for yourself and the world is a reflection of the inner child that is always constantly moving. Keep doing you, is my main tip. Focus on having a more balanced presence, and doors will open up for you much more easily. Got it?

Mercury/Jupiter - Talk. Talk. Talk. But talk about the things you love, what excites you, what makes your world much bigger. Your infinite mind is the key to enrichment in your journey, so why not share that with others who might be interested in the same. It could be as simple as a good book you just finished reading. Inviting others to how you see the world will attract more followers to you that you ever knew.

Neptune/Moon - Learning to accept your boundaries with others helps you heal a lot more than you realize. You're not for everyone, your cool, calm collected nature is what attracts people to you like flies... but its not for everyone to receive. You get me? Just be open to more out there, because the world is your oyster no matter who tells you otherwise. K <3

If you're interested in learning more, check out my tags! Also, if you want to know anything about your own chart, feel free to go into my asks! Thanks for reading, chow :)

#deja's astro observations #astro observations #astrology thoughts #astrology theories #astrology observations #tropical astrology #spirituality #astrology #astro #astro notes

[puhpandas]

hi mutuals im just curious.

#im a ggy lover myself and would obviously love to see it realized in a game #but i also like gregory as a character more than his semi-canon backstory #and have complicated feelings on if i want them to confirm ggy at all. #i love ggy but dont want it to take screentime away from gregory #who alongside vanessa havent been focused on in years #(ruin was mimic basically the whole time #doesnt count) and need the screentime desperately. #personally #after THIS long (2 and a half years since gregory screentime and over a year since GGYs release) #i cant help but always wonder if theyve just. waited too long and they shouldnt confirm it. #at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge. #if they did focus on ggy in a game i'd want it to serve the plot involving multiple characters and progress slowly #i dont want it to be confirmed then its just background knowledge i would want there to be a plotline of #gregory remembering it throughout the plot of a game and dealing with it. #it'd confirm it then but it'd also still be wholly focused on Gregory alone and also be a natural reveal for people who dont read the books #for me its option 3 i guess. by all means its for sure canon at the moment im just talking about how it would be revealed in a game #or if at all and left as knowledge someone who read the books would know #my idea is wishful thinking we'd never get something that intricate #i can hope though #i could be so cool #but damn theyre just handling the story so strangely rn #pandas.txt #pandas talks #poll #thoughts #pre hw2 dlc #jic

[damagedcoda6669]

just wanted to let you know real quick that the person sending people your deadname + stuff about that one stealthygeek person has spread to tumblr, i literally just got an anonymous ask in my inbox with it. all i did was sigh in deep deep exasperation and delete it. why can't people leave you alone

i rlly appreciate ppl letting me know abt this!!! but in all honesty theres nothing i can do, and i already know. when i said not 2 send me birdie drama related asks, it includes thingz like this, becuz this is an attempt at a continuation of birdie drama by the ppl perpetrating this. i wouldnt like 2 be alerted abt this becuz its genuinely out of my control and i honestly dont intend 2 spread awareness abt this going forward. these ppl thrive off of attention and it wont do any good. block n ignore. this is the last time im talking abt it publicly. in the kindest way possible, these kind of reminders only serve 2 make me paranoid and anxious and dysphoric. ive gotten another ask sending me a sc of one of these asks with my deadname uncensored that i saw a few mins ago, and ik it will have a severe effect on my mental state. PLEASE PLEASE be mindful of my mental state with the thingz that u say 2 me, becuz i will see all of it. plz only tell me abt these things if ur 100% sure i can do smth 2 stop it, ive been scared 2 check my notifs all day becuz of the possibility of smth dumb like this happening while i was away (which isnt ur fault) i know u have good intentions but plz be aware of my mental state and how these things effect me. im in a bad mental state already and i have no therapist/psychiatrist/doctor 2 go 2 if i go off the deep end, and im currently unmedicated and not in the mental health system due 2 circumstances out of my control /nm /gen

theres nothing i can do abt my deadname being spread around, i was doxxed when i was 12 and im still being lolcowed on kiwifarms 2 this day. its public information and theres nothing i can do. the only course of action is 2 ignore. nothing theyre doing is illegal (4 the most part lol) so theres no action 2 take except 4 withdrawing attention /gen

edit: i rlly hope i didnt come across as aggressive in this post at all, i genuinely mean no harm towards the ppl telling me abt this and im not mad at u guys!!! im very thankful 4 the concern, but theres genuinely nothing i can do in this situation and the only outcome of this is a broken mental state 4 me. i feel icky being negative again but i just want my boundaries 2 be known!!! so srry :(

#jack.txt #birdie #damagedcoda6669 #vent #rant #vent post #tw vent

[hypnoneghoul]

I think cowbells existence is rather tragic

it's like a ghost now

it's seen when people need something to talk to, something that won't talk back. or just get ignored when it will open it's mouth

there's no good things in store for it, why would there be? it steered away from the pack and now they're all gone and it's still there all alone

packless, mateless

but did it really steer away on its own or was it chased away by bored looks and conversations dying down whenever it showed up?

it can't touch, can't be touched, doesn't deserve it

it's a cautionary tale for siblings and ghouls all the same, now, warning of what happens if you try too hard to fit where you dont belong

and then it lays there, staring into the darkness that stares back at it but even shadows themselves doesn't really see it. and it thinks to itself that it all makes sense

it doesn't feel anything

all it wants is a hug, to be a person

and not just a shadow on the wall that can be gotten rid of with a bit of artificial light

and when it wails, and when a fresh sibling asks what that sound that carries along the ancient walls is, the others say with a smirk

it's just a ghost

#dont ask whete this came from #hypnone's hcs #cowbell ghoul #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #hypnone scribbles #<- new tag for rambles that aren't enough to go into the writing tag

[a66-1]

soap x american!reader who is constantly like mimicking and making fun of them like

"no johnny. i'm pretty sure scottich people arnt real"

or doing really bad accents.

idk i jus dont see too much of it and i think its heavily needed

-💗

thank u for requesting!! Since finals are over i need something to waste my time on (b4 band starts)

OKAY!

Johnny Soap MacTavish x american!reader

It was a normal day with you and Johnny. He was chilling, relaxed after a few long months of deployment, and now he can just lay here and spend his hours in the presence of his favorite bonnie.

You had your head tucked under his chin, both of your eyes zoned in on the tv, with whatever was going on, and you hear Johnny talking to himself. You glance up at him smiling.

"Can't you talk normally?" You ask, poking his chest. He gives a quizzical look.

"Normally? Wh's normal t'ya?" He pokes the back of your head as a retort. You giggle, and then point to yourself.

"Like.. Speak normally." You prodded his cheek with your palm, sitting up straighter.

"So ya want me t'speak more.. American, like you?" He smiled cheekily, shaking his head.

"Exactly!" You giggle, and stand up, crossing your arms. It's funny messing with him, you adore his accent.

"Like, is wah-ter and its you and not ya..." You spew out, hiding a smile behind your hand.

"Bonnie, 'M Scottish, wha' do y'want from-"

"No Johnny, I'm pretty sure Scottish people aren't real."

had to use that last line, that made me kick my feet.

ilysm!

-a661...

#john soap mactavish #johnny mctavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #johnny soap mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x you #john soap x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #soap x reader #soap cod #call of duty

[toxic3mmy]

I need black out drunk Alex to beg you to fuck him and it ends up being kind of cnc (not rape js cnc)

u guys are killing me with these requests, they’re SO good🫦🫦

prompt: you and alex fire up an old flame between the two of you

warnings! smut!! [both parties are not sober!!]

alex was drunk. you and your mutual friend group were out at a summer house party.

people were all over this huge house. they were smoking, drinking, and even doing other substances that you quickly would look away from because woah.

anyways, alex was really really drunk. you and him were close once but things were different now, honestly. you both had a small thing together but it quickly ended when his ex wanted him back.

he shouldn’t have drank so much… you shook those thoughts away. you assumed someone else would step in and take care of him.

you had a few drinks in you but nothing too major, considering you had only been at the party for a few hours. it was just enough to let you shed your usual shy personality and be able to easily talk to the people around you.

you didn’t even realize that your body had led you to the dance floor. they were playing some really good music and you couldn’t help but move your body to the beat.

you felt a warmth at your hips and look behind you to see rubius dancing with you. you smiled and began to press yourself up against him, your ass on his dick. you felt his warm breath tickle your neck as he told you how beautiful you looked tonight. you turned around and held him close to you as you continued dancing. the two of you had been together basically all night. you were flirting openly and neither of you really cared.

from the corner of your eye, you saw alex near the kitchen. he had an angry look on his face, almost like he wanted to punch something or someone. you made eye contact with him and he rolled his eyes as rubius began to kiss your neck.

alex held a bottle of tequila and tipped it back, taking a huge gulp straight from the bottle. you were starting to worry about him but rubius caught your attention.

“c’mon hermosa, let me take you home tonight” he asked in a flirty manner

“o-oh… i—”

a huge crash cut you off. both you and rubius quickly made your way to where alex had fallen over in the kitchen

“alexis, let me help you—”

“fuck you rubius…” alex slurred, wiping his face from the alcohol that had spilled

rubius was concerned and very confused about what he did but before he could make the situation worse. you stepped in, quickly sobering up

“alex, let’s go home, yeah?” you cooed gently, helping him up to his feet

you held him steady as you walked through the crowd and out of the house together. you drove to alex’s house in silence. the atmosphere felt tense and you weren’t sure what to say.

instead, you said nothing and helped alex out of your car and to his front door. you opened the door and let the two of you in.

“lets get you to bed” you whispered and did just that

after you tucked alex into his comforter, you let him know you’d be on his back porch smoking a bit since there wasn’t much alcohol left in your system.

you smoked your weed for a little over twenty minutes and heard a notification from your phone. smiled at your phone as you saw that rubius had messaged you about having fun with you tonight.

“talking with your queue of men? or is it just my son of a bitch best friend?”

you nearly pissed your pants as alex’s unexpected presence scared you. you quickly put your phone away to avoid any arguing.

“hey.. why are you out of bed? you need some rest, lexie” you said, putting out your joint

“dont call me that” he said through gritted teeth

“w-what? alex, are you okay?”

“no. i’m not okay. you know exactly what you were doing at the party. tell me y/n, how many of my friends have you fucked behind my back?”

“excuse me?” you said, not believing what he was saying to you

“you heard me. i saw you all over rubius. and i know you’re probably sleeping with all of my other friends, too. do you seriously think any of them can compare to me?”

you didnt have time to respond before alex pulled you flush against his shirtless body.

“c’mon y/n… you know you miss me. you miss the way i fill you up completely, don’t you? please… please let me fuck you, sweet girl”

“i don’t— no… alex, you’re drunk” you shook your head

“please y/n… look at what you do to me” he whined, reaching forward and placing your hand on his clothed hard on

“alex….”

“i’m begging you, you don’t know how much i need that sweet little pussy of yours… please, princesa”

“i—”

“please dont say no yet...”

“what do you mean?” you asked

he grabbed your hand and took you inside. he took you into his bedroom, or more like you helped him as he was still not able to walk normally. he gently sat you on his bed and you didn’t know what to do.

your head hurt from smoking way too much and your thoughts were foggy from it, too. you let him lay you down. he started to run his fingers lightly from your legs up to your face

“y/n… i’ve wanted this for so long. i’ve missed you so much. i’m so sorry it took so long for me to say something. and im especially sorry that i let my jealousy get the best of me tonight. i thought drinking would help distract me from seeing you and rubius… but it only made me want you more”

“are you sure you want this? we’re both not sober… what if this isn’t what’s right?” you asked worriedly

“baby, ill always want you. sober or drunk, i want you. do you understand?” he said genuinely

you thought about what he was saying and you realized you wanted him too, sober or high.

he smiled as he leaned in to kiss you. as your lips connected, you felt an eruption of warmth spread from your belly to every part of your body. his lips made your head spin and you loved it.

“you feel so good, lexie”

“and you taste so good, baby”

as your tongues fought for dominance, you felt yourself slowly change positions. you were now sat on his lap and kissing him deeply.

your hands found their way into his hair as his hands rested on your naked thighs.

when did you take your clothes off? you were in only your panties and bra now and alex in his boxers. alex pulled away, only a line of saliva connecting your mouth to his. he began to tug at your bra, wanting it off

“i want to see you” he whimpered softly into your neck as he finally unclasped your bra and threw it aside

he felt almost feral at the sight of your naked breasts sitting prettily in front of him. his breath was caught in his throat at the sight.

“you look so beautiful like this, so pretty and needy for me” he praised

he began to suck and nip at your neck, one of his hands rolled one of your nipples in between his fingers while his other hand was in between your legs. his fingers teased your wetness, only slightly dipping a finger halfway into you. he’d quickly take it out and trace circles around your entrance, making you clench, needing more.

“please… don’t stop” you whispered into his hair as a mix of the weed and the pleasure he was giving you took over your every last sense

“i wouldn’t dream of it” his mouth was now sucking at your tits eagerly as you let out more and more whiny moans

you reached in front of you and took his thick and leaking cock out of his boxers. your hand slowly wrapped around him as you teasingly rubbed at his tip. in response, he bit down harshly on your nipple and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your throat.

“s-sorry hermosa, its just… you still remember how i like it” he gasped and chuckled soon after

you smiled and began to move your hand slowly as he rubbed your clit at the same pace. the two of you kissed one another as you touched each other intimately and slowly.

you took your panties off and lifted yourself up a bit, making sure to sit right on his cock. his face was scrunched up in pleasure as he let out incoherent whines.

“god… yes… oh fuck, just like that…” he said as his hands made their way to your hips, helping you steady yourself on his lap

you lifted yourself up and sat down eagerly with him buried inside of you.

“you’re all mine y/n, not ruibius’, and not anyone else’s. did you miss me? did you miss how good i fuck your brains out, hm? just look at how desperately you’re riding me” he touched your face gently and suddenly grabbed your chin and harshly faced you to him

“look at me when im talking to you, slut. did you enjoy having other men fuck you when we weren’t together? i bet none of them were this good, were they?”

“n-no..” you managed to choke out

“tell me im the best cock you’ve ever had, tell me baby” he said as he began to fuck into you at a faster and rougher pace

“y-you’re the best i’ve ever had”

“aw, you can do better than that. be a good girl yeah? tell me again or don’t even think about cumming”

“ive never been fucked so well… i dream of your cock, i need you alex please”

“that’s right sweetheart, so then,” he flipped your positions, having you faced down into the bed while he fucked you from behind, “who’s pussy is this? who does this pussy belong to, hm?”

“y-yours.. its yours”

“nuh-uh, you can do better than that” he shook his head, a smirk on his face

“this pussy is all yours alex, please let me cum, please”

“well, since you asked so nicely”

he fucked into you like his life depended on it. one of his hands was on your ass while his other was rubbing your sensitive clit. his hips snapped against your ass, making a loud noise as the two of you filled the room with panting symphonies of moans.

“im close, so c-close”

“shhh, its okay baby. i need you to take my load, okay? and i need you to cum with my cock inside of your cunt”

you nodded with tears of pleasure in your eyes. you felt yourself getting closer and closer. you shut your eyes as your body trembled and your pussy clenched tightly, your own juices seeping out of you. with a few more thrusts, alex came inside of you hotly.

the two of you cleaned up and fell asleep together, deciding to deal with the situation tomorrow when the two of you were sobered out.

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity fanfic #quackity x y/n #quackity smut

[evelili]

As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.

When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.

Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.

Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.

You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol

i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!

first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.

second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?

all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;

#lili talking #also ty for ur kind words toward my situation ;v; #i feel like im in a slow motion car crash or explosion or something but im getting thru it. one day at a time #and im happy that u might give dal another shot! #ive recently started going to a local indian place and aaaa i love their dal so much #its defo part of what helped fuel me to finish this fic haha

[omamorens]

Do you have any HCs with Ivy and Ink Blade?

OH BOY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. ivy is a very interesting character to me (fhjy spoilers: and im glad she survived). tho people might not really like her that much, i think shes neat and could have a lot of nuances if her character could be explored enough

ivy (pre and post shatter-star) is a regina george mean girl but with pop-punk rock aesthetics.

she’s a girls girl and much like her canon, she loves fashion.

loves fashion in a sense that she loves it for Herself and not because she wants to impress anyone.

she does not give a shit about what anyone thinks of her actually, and that generally comes off as “mean”.

ivy only sees her attitude as a filter for those too weak to be acquainted with her.

though she has a hard exterior, she does have a soft spot for those who could actually stick by her.

riding off on that “loves fashion” part, i think ivy is particularly good at finding good deals and the best bargains. she doesn’t go for the most expensive stuff because that’s just wasteful.

she’s the type of friend you want to go to the flea market with because this girl drives a hard bargain.

riding off of that, ivy always takes oisin out to shop because there’s not a lot of dragonborn-proof clothes for him so when they do find stuff, its too expensive to be worth it unless ivy is the one bargaining for him.

oisin is always grateful of her for it.

in her shatter-star state, ivy’s “mean” attitude got nastier and more cruel

ivy has a hard time asking for forgiveness (oisin will tell you that she almost never says the word “i’m sorry” genuinely), but she does it in her own way.

sometimes when she passes by mazey in the halls, ivy genuinely compliments the bard on her badidas.

“nice shoes. they’re the 90’ exclusive line, right? those were the best quality shoes they released. such a shame their next series went downhill from there.”

mazey, apprehensive of ivy at first but open to having this conversation with her, “no, yeah, you’re absolutely right. these are the only pairs i can both dance and fight in. its been a year but theyre still going strong.”

and the girls continue talking about finding the best deals and the most practical clothing they could have as adventurers. fabian is not very happy about this.

mazey of course is not required to forgive ivy for things she said and done, and ivy is not at all actively seeking for verbal forgiveness anyway

but they can be courteous to each other and bond over similar interests

lucy, being a frost genasi, absolutely knows how to knit. she knits her own clothes sometimes because not much clothing items in stores have her size.

when ivy found out about this during freshman year, ivy asked lucy to teach her and they absolutely bonded over knitting.

at some point both the girls have knitted some stuff for all the members of their party.

everyone still keeps their knitted gifts, even if they’re frayed or have grown too small for them to use.

surely i will have more to write on her character but for now these are what i have on the top of my head. ivy embra they dont get you like i do (ivy hcs with inkblade i will continue in another post because this one got too long)

#omamorens q&a #ivy embra #mazey phaedra #oisin hakinvar #lucy frostblade #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #d20 #fhjy #fantasy high #trg #the rat grinders

[foursaints]

Can you talk some more about bartydora if you dont mind

i've touched on this briefly before, but barty is an interesting character to pair with others for me because of his role as essentially just an Unsolvable Equation.

like his identity formation was so stunted & abnormal that barty is just layers of masks all the way down. he's an mc escher staircase. but the way others react to that problem reveals a lot about themselves!! and it's compounded by the fact that the twins (an inventor, a surgeon) are both problem-solvers at their core.

before i get into it: i think pandora treats him like a human being. but despite how nice it is, deep down i dont think barty LIKES being treated as a person (💀). he's just so unused to it.

barty will always pick the way that evan treats him, as some type of sick other half, where he doesn't NEED to be a person because he can just be evan's missing puzzle-piece instead. barty wants the comfort of being able to define himself in relation to something else.

BUT ANYWAY.

i think pandora is more comfortable sitting with the irrational than her brother. to me the quibbler is evidence of this, but so are her experiments (P wants to create something new, E wants to take apart/optimize what already exists). so that's why i believe she's one of the few people in the world who's close to barty WITHOUT wanting to peel back his layers.

the fandom likes to make her a necromancer, and i think this ties nicely into my conception of her character as someone Deeply Steeped In Grey Areas And Uncertainties. she's concerned with the murky boundaries between life/death, between her identity/her brother's, between the real world/dreams. barty is a living grey area & the way he goes all blank when he's not putting up a front doesn't alarm her (yet she doesn't obsess over & crave & sink into his moments of vulnerability the way Evan might)

esentially: pandora is RARELY distinguishable from evan, but their small differences are highlighted specifically whenever she's around barty. by both accepting & ignoring the central Ambiguity of barty's personhood, she is basically the only person alive who can be normal about him.

i think they have little crushes on each other that come & go because of that relationship!! they feel like childhood friends. they have a weird ability to make each other feel like a regular boy and girl: he's a little sheepish around her, she giggles when he ties her shoelaces, he's putting her on the handlebars of his bicycle... there's a lightness to that relationship that doesn't exist anywhere else in their lives.

i generally believe that everyone in their friend group inevitably develops a crush on barty, and pandora isn't an exception— for her it's the dorky crush you get on your brother's best friend. he's tall & handsome & funny & charming & kind to her in a way he isn't kind to anyone else. for barty, i think there's something about the rosiers (the idea of these angelic, odd, fucked up little sheltered creatures) that just instantly does it for him no matter what. at least 40% of what he feels for evan extends to his sister, just in a more innocent way

but it's not REAL, if that makes sense? because barty is ugly and violent and complicated, and so is pandora!! neither of them are actually the boy/girl next door, even if that's what they are to each other ? and they both implicitly know that, so the crushes inevitably fade? but i think it's really beautiful that they even CAN be that for each other? which is why the crush is always there, simmering under the surface a little?

i think there's a gendered aspect to this as well. maybe this is sexist but i see barty as being a gentler version of himself around girls in general (i’m thinking of: his closeness w/ his mother, his closeness w/ winky & her insistence that he’s a sweet boy)... i think he’s one of those dudes with terminal daddy issues who grew up watching his father mistreat his mother and it really affects how he treats women. he’s more comfortable with girls and he gets a little softer around them... pandora has always gotten this softer version of him

#a #barty meta tag #rosier twins #pandora #ok i got a little carried away . #this is a whole essay ...... apparently it really is that serious to me

[bambiinobambii]

𝑀𝑜𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒪’𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒶

the character overlook part 2!!

this is going to be shorter but i still want my yap (spoilers it’s not im passionate about this), spoiler heavy for chapter 4-6

i’m not really proof reading any of this so sorry if anything’s wrong please tell me

🪞before i say anything i want to point out a bit of dialogue between sean and molly

m - i dont have much opinion on you

s - ah but you don’t like me, i can see it in your eyes

m- i don’t know what you’re talking about mr macguire

s - but you look down your pretty little stuck up nose at me

m - i guess i didn’t come to america to meet boys who crawled out of the local bog. when i could have paid them to sweep my chimneys at home

s - i knew it. you’re a snotty nosed little west briton

m - i am no such thing

s - ‘course you are, i see it now. you probably have a family with a big farmhouse and titles

💋 i want to bring this up for a few reasons

1. sean is one of the only characters in camp proud of his heritage, molly is quite superficial and she doesn’t talk much about it, kieran doesn’t know much about his heritage and doesn’t know how to pronounce colm even though kieran was with the o’driscolls

2. he calls her a “little west briton” which usually means an irish person who greatly admires England or Britain, thinking them superior to Ireland

3. i said in my last post that i assumed molly became well off from. a family business in agriculture

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋now i don’t have much to say about her outfits here because of the fact that they stay the same so i’ll talk more about her and dutch

💋from shady bell onwards molly really starts to loose it and there’s more and more arguments between the two of them at one point she screams that he ruined her life

💋molly starts getting really paranoid, she sits at one of the docks by herself and karen even tries to comfort her in her own drunken way even when molly approaches her and confronts karen about talking about her (i’m not entirely sure if she actually did) molly smacks karen, karen hits her back harder and molly storms off to behind the house

💋i feel molly starts to realise she is the fool that everyone calls her for falling for dutch, and there’s a held sentiment that dutch probably never loved anyone more than annabelle and molly was more of a distraction with a pretty face

💋walking around shady belle, molly is usually found sulking in the corners of the house on her knees with her head down, i’d also like to put out there that in their room one one side of the bed is disturbed

💋i think kieran’s death was a way to put into perspective how the gang was falling apart molly asking arthur how this is allowed to happen

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋molly is absent at the end of chapter 5 and i’m not entirely sure that people really questioned it at all (i was obviously trying and failing to find my wife)

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋now let’s get into the deep shit of the start of beaver hollow

💋molly is clearly drunk back in her casual outfit with her blue shirt, which i think personally is how she felt more comfortable in

💋she curses out dutch and says that she told milton about the saint denis robbery

💋i think she went through the realisation when she was away of dutch’s complex about himself, calling him “your majesty” or “master” when she makes fun of him

💋dutch talks a lot about loyalty and having faith and him and miss grimshaw carry the sentiment that she broke the rules

💋miss grimshaw shoots molly, and i think, though i love molly, she is my wife, it was the last nail on the coffin that when molly died she sees dutch, the only person she thought liked, even loved her, looking disappointed in her

💋she also didn’t get a proper burial and got burned

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

(only doing positive ones bc that’s what my baby deserves)

💋 karen’s the most aggressive after mollys death as she holds a grudge to miss grimshaw, calling her a filthy murderer and saying that she probably liked doing it, karen had seen (imo) that molly just wanted dutch’s attention and she was blinded by love

💋 i personally hold a grudge too but she seemed remorseful that she did it because she had to

💋 abigail feels guilty but they’re still under the pretence that she ratted on them

💋 charles says he feels bad even though he didn’t know her well

💋 strauss, though i think he probably did not gaf he actually includes molly in him saying the camps falling apart

💋 marybeth just feels guilty about her, saying that she doesn’t believe it, she probably said that in the way of she couldn’t believe that mollys dead but i’d like to think she also didn’t think that molly did it

💋 swanson says she’ll be in his prayers

💋though i’d like to add dutch’s reaction to yknow the supposed lover of him saying that he shoulda cut her off ages ago

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋i feel like people forget that milton tells arthur they couldn’t get anything out of molly , if you know micah is the rat you have to know molly isn’t

💋 off topic but i want to say i also saw someone say mary (linton) was one of the rats, i feel like people forget that mary knew arthur was never going to change for her, her missions never affects the plot, she’s always going to send the infamous letter at the start or beaver hollow, she never changed the ending you can not help her and never talk to her again and there’s still the same ending it’s all micah

@lovearthur since you got tagged in the last one 🫶🏼

#lesbian #bambiitalks #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #wlw blog #molly o'shea #molly oshea #karen jones #abigail roberts #abigail marston #sean macguire #dutch van der linde #arthur morgan #micah bell #ill treat u better molly oshea

[ham1lton]

i remember telling my best friend about it too and she said "oh so like theyre soulmates that aren't meant to be" and i never been the same. like brocedes are twin flames, destined to be tragedies and thats so fucked up? and their fact that their wish BESIDES becoming world champion is to be teammates together? and dont even get me started on anything but lovers because god. the way they looked at eachother, clung to each other its so so so insane.

and its interesting seeing all the drivers dance around them? because all of them saw how much they adore each other and now suddenly hate each other's guts? jenson turning to nico when lewis said the "a better teammate too" because HE KNOWS he said it to nico. and even if lewis doesn't utter nico's name, he is imbedded in everything he does kinda? like lewis taking accountability for shit he done which harms the team (his tweet apologizing to george!), also roscoe's name like i dont want to be delusional but like ... SURE you found it cool. and seeing that clip of nico running away from lewis with champagne even though they aren't friends and he is probably chasing his friends but its so instinctual for him to do that. like everything in the world fell away and its just nico and lewis again?

also i do not promote parasocial relationships and knowing celebrities in a personal lives BUT LIKE LEWIS NOT BEING IN NICO'S WEDDING????

honestly people wondering why nico keeps yapping about lewis like if i fumbled LEWIS HAMILTON? yeah, i would too!

and its okay that you are a lewis apologist, as children of divorce hopefully they can both be mature fucking adults and talk it out again or i will lock them up in a room like what niki lauda attempted to do (do you know fucking BAD it is if a world champion is like banging his head at them not talking to each other?) anyway ILL STOP BEFORE I SPIRAL THANK U AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT OR DAY BE WELL !!!! — nico apologist

i feel like the whole relationship is a lot more intricate then what we know now and we will ever know. ik a lot of ppl like to speculate and make theories and stuff but idk. especially as lewis doesn’t like to speak abt it a lot. it’s two people who knew each other and won’t ever stop really knowing each other even after everything - nico knowing that lewis was holding his breath before he even said it.

like u hit the nail on the head with the whole thing abt parasocial relationships but i think a lot of ppl relate to having a best friend who changes and leaves. idk. maybe i’m just speaking to speak but one thing that annoys me tho is ppl try and make it a one sided thing and they paint either nico or lewis as the villain…. it was obviously mutual 😭

but… ‘everything in the world fell away and its just nico and lewis again’ DONT DO THIS TO ME!!!!!

#I LOVE TALKING ABT THEM SO BAD #THANK U NICO APOLOGIST FOR THIS ASK #anon ask #brocedes #just let me adore queue ♡ ྀ

[tubbytarchia]

todays stream..... im watching the vod in 1.5x speed because i forgot to watch. another long one.................................

jim and oli meet up immediately. they go to jimmys graveyard and olis died a bunch and he called himself mrs canary. blond boyfriends is "one night only" and oli said no flower husbands. they started making jokes about closing tumblr and ao3..... blond boyfriends are dead </3 jimmy then says they dont spend their evenings browsing those sites then oli says speak for yourself im mr wattpad

oli says "put on something sexy" for the talent show because both of them forgot to make skins for it. jimmy says hes not putting on the maid one (oli: i will) then oli suggests they both put on maid skins. grrrrr

(oli: why dont you want to be a maid? why dont you want to be a maid? you loved it you had a thumbnail about it and everything, you loved it, you loved it! stop pretending you didnt love it!

jimmy: i only do it on special occasions...... i only wear the maid dress one time on one series....... i cant do it twice........

oli: yeah but this is a different character, this is blond boyfriend jimmy, its like a whole different action figure!

jimmy: right, right, ill put it on.)

then they ask chat to make oli a maid skin since he doesnt have one. specifically with the same face as jimmys (the derpy face) then they realise they need an invisiblity potion for their talent show thing so they go to steal one from pixs furious cocktail machine. they go material gathering for more talent show stuff and split up.

(he kept making spongebob references. i think im going insane)

they meet back up. on the way jimmy goes to sausages house to steal some milk and he sees saus so he stabs him and runs away. oli found a weird pillager looking base in sausages house and shows jimmy to see how he would react to it. (u know how his voice goes when hes lying? Yeah) then after talking for a bit about who they think is a pillager (lizzie) they split up again.

they meet up again and switch skins to their maid ones,,, then they start practising their dance for the talent show. not a lot happens other than flirting and oli theatening to kill himself if they lose. then they head over to the talent show and oli sings a gay little song on the way. he tries to make it sound less gay but it turns into sounding like a one night stand.

they arrive and sausage admires the outifts and asks if they want to work at the tavern later. oli says yes (only if they dont win) and jimmy doesnt say anything about it. they take their seats and jimmy sits in front of scott. hes standing on the back of the stair instead of the front so scott asks him to move so hes not blocking scotts view. jimmy says not my fault im 6 foot so scott hits him and he ends up landing on the back of the seat in front (which is eloises). eloise hits him back. he gets hit around a bit (notably laughing) then scott pulls his sword out and asks out loud how much of a blockage a grave will be. jimmy then shakes his head and goes please no i dont have any armour on :( and scotts like haha i know. then the talent show starts

mog introduces the show and prays for no deaths. first event with no deaths. please. he reads a poem for his pet sweetpea that died. its actually really good but the fact that its about a minecraft bee does make me giggle. the judges are fwhip, eloise, and katherine. not entirely people who hate jimmy.... he has a chance....... how the judging works is the 3 judges have redstone lamps that are ON and if they turn them OFF they dont like the act. if all 3 lamps turn off you have to leave the stage.

first act is shubble :) she makes cat jokes. i think theyre funny. fwhip turns off his lamp and shubble says "quit the catattitude". eloise also turns off her light. she ends her performance with 1 light on!

sausage goes next...... hes doing a play about boat boys. joel audibly sighs in the audience. sausage is wearing an etho skin and drags joel on stage. saus tries to get joel to say he loves etho but joel just goes I LOVE MY WIFE!! lizzies in the audience and she doesnt react at all. "etho" then goes on to say they have a kid together. then it ends with 2 lights on. (technically 1 but katherine turned off eloises light. then eloise turned off fwhips light but he turned it back on.)

then oli and jimmy go!!! fwhip turns off his light almost immediately but they basically just make puppy dog eyes at him until he turns it back on. they start with their dancing and they get the audience to join in. its much more organised than the rehersals. then they go onto the disappearing act. fwhip turned his light off again but eloise and katherine seem to be loving it. jimmy splashes himself with the invisiblity potion (and accidentally catches oli in it) then runs behind the seats and drinks milk. eloise turned her light off too :( but katherine and the audience really like it. they try to do their drowning act but theres a conduit power which makes it less interesting. they end the performance with 1 light on.....

then its mogs turn! hes. racing people. and jumping very high. then he starts flying. i genuinely think hes hacking and i respect the dedication to the bit. then he starts walking on water. i think he ended with all 3 lights on.

judging time....... notable thing is katherine gave oli and jim a 10/10.

IN A SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS. JIMMY AND OLI WON. EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU KATHERINE FOR SABOTAGING MOGS SCORE FOR THE BIT.

1st: oli&jim. 2nd: shubble. 3rd: mog. 4th: saus. fwhip gives jimmy his coin and jim says thanks daddy fwhip. jimmy goes home and is very happy about it :) then he ends........ new sos video saturday and next stream is monday :P

long recap again.... this ones kinda all over the place cuz i was typing while watching. i equally love blond boyfriends and also want oli 100ft away from jimmy at all times

man oh man... the adventures of the blonde boy friends

Ok the maid dress......... I'm not too upset by it because I accept Oli joining in with the maid outfit thing as a valid form of helping Jimmy heal. Not that Oli INTENDS to do that (he's too stupid) but... Him insisting "you loved it! You did!" makes me want to throw up but he's stupid. He's his own fucked up thing who I don't see as participating in the Jimmy "bottom of the food chain" bullying culture. He puts himself down on that food chain alongside Jimmy... unintentionally, still, but. Mmmgh. If it were, say, Sausage instead whototallydoesnthaveamaidkink saying this... It'd be another story and I might just throw myself out the window

Oli's fooling around and I still hate his insistence on Jimmy liking the maid ordeal (and even here, Jimmy is voicing the opposite!! sobs) but then he goes and puts on a maid dress too. It might be unsubstantial fun and jokes for him, but at least Jimmy's not alone on that now in a sense... Even the derpy face is the same... And same with "I'm mrs canary now". It's more "haha we both suck" and less "you suck/I suck almost as bad as you". More affectionate and less derogatory

Oli saying he'll kill himself if they lose kinda sucks because Jimmy frequently gets blamed for failures of groups he's part of, and if not, he might just blame himself and apologize anyway. But at the same time if they did lose, I cannot imagine Oli blaming it on Jimmy. He'd only address it as them both being equally at fault. Shared failure... The bar is really low ok

OF COURSE Sausage is there to admire them OF COURSE Sausage whototallydoesnthaveamaidkink is asking them to work at the tavern. Fuckass sorry I'm gonna hold myself back in case any Sausage fans are reading this. Sorry Sausage fans. I don't hate you ok. and Jimmy not saying anything in response even when Oli said yes... he has trauma guys he has such trauma I cant fucking make this up its right there. This is making me so sad. Jimmy choking up.... Even if he were to voice displeasure he'd just be shot down again. Sausage won't take no for an answer and Oli being Oli would probably encourage Jimmy too. Unfortunately. This sucks

There's something about Joel here too but I actually can't talk about it I'm serious even Tumblr will cancel me

I can't tell you how fucking happy I am that they won though so that 1. Oli doesn't kill himself and 2. They don't have to go work at the tavern as is evident is against Jimmy's wishes anyway. He doesn't have to relive his trauma. Katherine you have no idea what you've done I love you Katherine

Also thank you Jimmy for stabbing Sausage. Deserved

#thank you again faithful inbox stream watcher. This means so much to me #I really didnt think SOS was gonna be that significant but wow is all the Jimmy misery turned wayyy up #just because of that ONE that ONE FUCKASS maid dance. I hate it here. But thank you Oli. Thank you blonde boy friends #I like Oli. He's not the brightest tool but his banter with Jimmy is nice... #Jimmisery #blabber

[starsh1ne-va1ly]

Vin and Aya if you guys want to can we play a Game where we admit oure red/beige/green flagg? Just if you want to ofc :)

@ayaswrld @tulipsforvin

Okay

Greenflagg : Okay dann I dont really know anything good about myself whatever :') Uhhh I think one thing is that I am EXTREMLY good at putting myself in other peoples shoes? Yeah I think thats great :D

Beige flagg :

I only drink vegan chocolate milk because I am alergic to real milk :')

Redflagg :

I can get REALLY REALLY jealous (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠) Not about material things— but over people. If I have found a person I really like (even as friend) I HATE seeing other people talking to them (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻ And I dont know how to comfort people. It makes me uncomfortable because I dont know what to do to help them

NOW VIN AND AYA

@ayaswrld @tulipsforvin

#Redflagg #Greenflagg #Beigeflagge #Game #Fun #Tag a Person

[lovearthur]

Hi could you write about Hosea helping GN!Reader getting comfortable in camp? Like platonically, such as a scenario of reader living with the Van Der Linde gang after their family passed, etc? Thanks!💞 (Side note; I love your blog sm!)

𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

𝓑𝓔𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔 𝓨𝓞𝓤 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓓! gn! reader . shy reader if u squint . u dont know who the vdl gang is,, sorry . u try to steal from hosea but fail miserably . not proofread as usual lol

u were stricken with grief. grief, confused and most of all, u were vulnerable. really vulnerable.

after ur parents passed, life got duller and more gloomy. u had no idea what to do with urself. yes u have some friends but none of them were that close to u and so u had no one. no one at all. life only got worst after ur family home was set alight, leaving u alone forever. if only ur father didn't mess that gang...

and now u were now walking through a town. valentine it was called. u weren't sure why u were even here. its not like u had any money but u were starving by now. some people gave u weird looks but u ignored them, having bigger problems to deal with. then u noticed a two men walk into one of the saloons, one had hair black as the nightsky, he was nice dressed. the cigar hanging out his mouth added to his charismatic image. the other had hair silver as jewellery u would see in thos fancy, high society stores, he was dressed in a similar way, seemingly they were good friends. u weren't raised up properly but u also needed some money.

surely he wouldn't see u thieving, would he?

u followed them into the saloon and stayed close behind to make sure they didn't see u. to ur loving hope, it was busy, so there was no way they could see u.. knowing what u were about to do. they got comfortable quickly as the black-haired gentleman ordered drinks for themselves. u subtly began to walk around, stepping closer and closer to them, u were sure u could rob the older man, he may be slow in agility unlike u. u were a quick thinker and yet ur heart was pounding. u weren't a thief but a good person.

ur heart only continued beating quicker and quicker, as ur hand got closer to the money clip that was tucked into the gun holster of the man then u did it. finally u had some money to buy urself some good food. u quickly moved past, making ur way to the exit door that was across the room, closing the door behind u as a sigh of relief left ur body. u tucked it in ur shirt pocket before u walked around to the side of the building to blend in with the public once more. suddenly, u were hit with a problem.

the two men. the older man that u stole from, although he didn't look upset. u almost felt ur heart drop at the sight of them, only now that they looked very intimidating. much more intimidating, noticing the guns holstered at their hips. u quickly took the clip of money out ur shirt pocket and threw it on their direction and he caught it with no problem. he was about to say something before the older man gave him a stern look before looking back at u.

“'m sorry for stealin', not gonna ever do it again but just- please dont kill me.” u say, keeping ur gaze on them. u were terrified. u didn't mean it, it was just an impulse move, u were hungry! and yet, they didn't do anything. didn't take our guns or react in a threatening manner, yet u still felt nervous. the older man picked up the money clip while the black-haired gentleman spoke. “don't you have somewhere to go, dear? a home or family?” the other man said and u shook ur head. “my parents passed away. 'nd my home was burnt down by some gang. got nothin' 'nd no one. just me.” u replied, keeping ur guard up. they looked at each other other, talking through the gaze of their eyes. they were the window to the soul as one would say. the older man looked at u. “... you're welcome to come with us, miss. just till you're back on your feet 'nd ye decide what u want to do.”

⠀ ⠀⠀꒰ྀིㅤㅤ ಿㅤ　﹒　　 ׅ 　ㅤׂ　　 ݃　　♱

and so here u are. being taken to their camp. u were on a horse, ur arms rested on the hips of the other man, dutch was his name. the one u stole from, his name was hosea. they both seemed nice enough but as u got closer u heard more chatter and nice scent of some food cooking which gave u a little hope. but what u mostly hoped for is that they all like u.

once the three of u were there, dutch was kind enough to help u down first, u murmured a small “thank you, mr van der linde.” which earned a smile from him. dutch and hosea both hitched off their horses. “if anyone gives trouble which they shouldn't, come me to or dutch.” hosea says, giving u a kind gaze. u nodded at his words “thank u, mr matthews.”

u mostly kept to urself, for now anyway. sitting by the outskirts of the camp, mourning and grieving about ur parents and ur home. u just.. couldn't believe it, u were in still in mere shock, to be honest. brushing u away from ur thoughts, u heard some footsteps coming towards u which caused u to look up, hosea. he hands you a bowl of stew which u were so relieved about, u were so scared to get it urself being in a such a strange place.

hosea sat beside u as u thanked him, he looks at u. “sorry about your family, miss. [name].” u looked at him before u took a bite. “... thank you for not.. killin' me” he nodded slightly, shifting a little. “could tell you're not the type to be a thief. was more worried about dutchh taking it not too kindly. im not like that, either.” he says softly, like he was trying to make u more comfortable being here, which u appreciated. “thank you, anyway. means a lot.” after some silence feel between the two of u, an older woman came to u both, ms. grimshaw. “miss [name]. ive putcha with the girls, hope thats alright with you.” she states and u nodded quickly at her words. “yes, thank you, ms. grimshaw.” u replied with a small smile.

this might finally been the good u so prayed for. ur life before was so dark, so filled with ur sadness, ur longing to be hugged by ur parents just once more, like the small child u once were.

hosea showed the way to the girls wagon, where u would be sleeping beside 3 girls. “go rest now, [name]. these girls will make sure you're okay.” those girls were karen, tilly and mary-beth. u were nervous at first, mot sure if they were going to accept a stranger but they did. tilly was the first girl to welcome u, tell everyone's names, who to talk to and who to avoid.

what a warm welcome from a gang of outlaws.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr #red dead redemption #hosea matthews #dutch van der linde #van der linde gang

[turnin9pag3]

sigh.

i think im a james potter kinnie in the most shameful way possible because yes i relate to being social and having lots of friends but more than that i relate to feeling like you’re constantly doing either too much or not enough and people lose interest in me and i feel like shit because what did i fuck up but then i go and loose interest when i know its not that persons fault i just cant help myself but to hate everyone because i hate myself. and like james im too loud all the time so much so that when i finally decide to be quiet i have people shoving their concerns down my throat and i dont know how to appreciate it when all i want is to be left alone. lately ive been feeling like there something misplaced in me because all i want is to spend my last week of school with my friends and be happy and enjoy my time but all i can think about is i dont want to be here and i dont want to be touched and i dont want to see these people because these people keep talking and my head hurts and my eyes hurt and im feeling dizzy and none of this looks real anymore and im not sure what to do with myself anymore. and i would hate to hurt their feelings because its truly not their fault but like i said theres something wrong with me. i think im just a rotten soul and im fucked up in way unknown to most. as james would, i feel judged after everything i say and i feel ridiculed for every decision i make and i feel like they dont want to listen to me at all they just keep me around to have someone for themselves and a part of me knows thats not true but the larger part of me wont let me fully believe that. and i feel like james in the way i dont know how to do anything casually and i love with my entire soul but i hate with my entire soul too and when im in something im fully in. and its such a fault to have because i like people more than people like me all i just end up hurting myself because as much as i tell myself im not i think i still like that one guy from august and my miss my best friend when i cant call her that anymore and the girl ive known since 2nd grade is barley answering my texts and summer is coming i feel like everyone is going to forget about me and what if i forget about everyone and i dont want to be forgotten. and i feel like james because i feel overbearing when i ask to hang out with people and annoying. and i feel like im being made fun of every time i speak and i have to pretend that it doesnt bother me but it does. and im like james because all i want is someone to talk to and thatll listen to me but i know how hard it is to stay attentive when i talk because i talk so much about stuff no one cares about and i try to hide it but it hurts more than id like to admit because everyone cares about what they have to say and i sit and i listen but when i talk they leave the room or change the topic or turn up the music or outright tell me they dont care. joke or not it hurts. like james i spent most of my childhood being told im too loud or too intense or talk too much or too chaotic or too dramatic or talk too fast and like james i think no matter how much confidence i fein in my teen years ill never grow away from the 6 year old girl that everyone called a psycho because she had emotions too big that she didnt know how to deal with yet and they wernt her fault. it wasnt her fault she got her dads anger issues and tendencies to scream or her mothers ability to feel everything twice as strong as she should. and now im 15 and its still not my fault but ive suppressed it so far im not 100% sure how to feel that deeply anymore.

#kinda my own trama dump but ya know what idc #i started rambling #whoops. #harry potter #james potter #the marauders #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius black #jegulus #regulus black #remus lupin #black brothers