Cw: vent
Feeling intensely anxious about posting today’s chapter… I need to think it over a bit before I decide if I really can post it today… Because right now it just feels like the self-imposed pressure is overwhelming for me…
I really don’t want to disappoint anyone by not posting but I don’t want to post something I’m not happy with either… I’m really sorry, we’ll see if things feel better in a couple of hours.
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/vent (kind of?)
bpd culture is HOW DID YOU MOVE ON SO QUICKLY DID I ACTUALLY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU DID YOU ALREADY HAVE A REPLACEMENT FOR ME BEFORE WE WENT SEPARATE WAYS DID I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU
.
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boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”
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to be thinner than the people that called you fat
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idk how much longer i can force myself to stay alive
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It's so aggrivating seeing your health get worse while you're helpless to stop it
It's so aggrivating to have to adapt to brain fog when there was no fog a month ago
It's so aggrivating to deal with so much fatigue, when 2 years ago, you were so lively
It's so aggrivating to deal with all of this and find yourself slipping into anger more and more
To find yourself holding your tongue so you don't hurt those around you because you're tired and don't have the energy for it anymore
It's so unimaginably aggrivating
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The thoughts in my head are too loud I want them to stop I don't want to think anymore
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Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.
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