#dragonblade deep dive
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter twenty
Welcome to the final chapter of this madness (save for an epilogue still to come) and boy is it a doozy. First of all, that MASSIVE SPOILER EVENT has finally happened, and it disappoints in ways I really didn’t think this book had left to offer. Secondly, if you thought the final chapter might actually resolve some things, please leave your expectations at the cut.
Chapter twenty-one – Acts of Courage
We open in Jester’s POV. He’s lurking outside of Magnus’ house, where he can’t hear or see anything. If this were a well-written novel that could have been foreshadowing, but it isn’t so it’s not. Moving on. The door opens and he hides behind it as one of the henchmen appears, very drunk and apparently incredibly stupid as he repeats his task out loud to himself, which is very handy for Jester. He is to saddle up a pony and cart (NOT a horse and wagon, in case you were wondering. And no, that’s not a crucial detail we needed to know). The Henchman (I would say he is privileged to have a name, but it’s ‘Ox’ so, no) stumbles into a laneway beside the house. Jester assumes he is doing some dodgy deal for Magnus, then repeats Ivon’s line about the princess being his duty now and thinks about how he must do what he can to keep her safe until help arrives and that she’s almost certainly in the house at Magnus’ mercy and… follows Ox into the laneway. There’s no logic here but we’re supposed to understand that Jester following Ox is going to help the princess.
The laneway is very messy and cluttered with objects, which doesn’t seem right for someone as possessive and mercenary as Magnus Breech. Instead of being an opportunity to show how years as court jester have made Jester nimble and light-footed, allowing him to be sneaky, this obstacle course is a struggle for him, but it allows him to stay hidden from the drunk Ox (henceforth known as Hugs and Kisses) who is in a yard at the end of the passageway untying a pony (not a horse!). Another man appears from nowhere to see what he’s doing, they talk, the second man helps Hugs with the pony and points out he’s drunk, and gets efficiently knocked out by said drunk. It’s really hard to tell if Ox actually is drunk or if he’s faking, but I think he’s supposed to be drunk for real. Then again that’s a transient state at best in this novel.
Ox picks up the man he just knocked out and carries him over his shoulder to the laneway. Jester searches for a hiding place and finds a pile of musty, stinky, gross damp sacks. He crawls under just in time for Ox to dump the unconscious man right on top.
We join Gunther now, who is shaking so hard he’s almost rendered mute, as his father continues to beat him. Magnus curses him for his fear and Gunther defies him for it, claiming he’s angry not scared. He tries to persuade Magnus that this is not who they are but Magnus strongly disagrees, and tells Gunther that he is of Magnus’ blood, so his parentage now gets even more confusing.
Magnus lays out his plan to Gunther. He has promised to pay Ox a vast sum of money if he kills Lavinia by throwing her off a cliff and making it look like she fell off Dragon. He says Ox will do it for “fear of me and love of gold” so he really knows how to motivate his employees. Gunther is still shaking violently (this is really focused on a lot) as he tries to point out that Ox can’t keep a secret. Magnus says that won’t be a problem because Gunther is going to follow along behind and kill Ox. I’m really starting to question Magnus’ ability to formulate a plan at this point, if he honestly thinks that Gunther will stand back and watch Ox kill Lavinia and then walk up and kill him.
Magnus tells Gunther that they either succeed together or hang together. Well at least someone finally acknowledges that Gunther wasn’t exaggerating about how this situation would probably get him killed. Yay?
Gunther tries to protest and is smacked around some more. Magnus continues to extrapolate, telling Gunther that Lavinia was always meant to die, after Gunther had married her and they had produced an heir. Cuthber was supposed to be killed too so Gunther would be regent until his child came of age. This is a very convoluted plan with lots of room for error.
Magnus tries to “calm his rage” by pacing and punching his own thighs. It’s as strange and awkward as it sounds. He insists that tonight Gunther will leave his “spoilt, comfortable childhood behind.” For those playing along at home, Gunther has been hiding money in his bedroom walls since he was thirteen in expectation of the day he will need to run for his life from the house where his father beats him and he serves as unpaid labour. I think whatever childhood he had ended long ago.
Magnus tells him that tonight he will kill Ox.
Dragon joins Jane and Robert, and is immediately angry at Robert as he can feel Jane’s pain through their psychic link or whatever. Jane tells him it was wolves, and that he should thank Robert for saving her. Blech.
Jane asks about the Princess and Dragon tells her where she is. Both Dragon and Robert want to take Jane back to the castle to have her injuries seen to as they both say she is more important than the princess. Not sure why Robert gets a vote here but Jane overrides them both anyway.
Robert “assists” Jane onto Dragon, and Dragon is briefly annoyed but then realises that Robert is agreeing with him and is mollified. He also mentions Robert’s TEETH, in case you’d forgotten what book we’re reading.
Dragon argues in favour of letting Pepper patch Jane up and Robert agrees again, saying that his hands have (miraculously!) started to mend.
Robert starts giving Dragon orders and call Jane his Dragonblade, which gets Dragon indignant and then confused. It’s worth mentioning at this point that Dragon has been told literally nothing about all of the life-altering information Jane has learned thus far.
Jane overrides them both and tells them they are going to find the princess.
We’re back at the merchant’s house, where Lavinia is less than impressed by the Ox and Pony show. She tells Magnus she would rather walk back to the castle and that Gunther should escort her. Magnus insists that she ride in the cart and Lavinia is quickly distracted by a not* at ALL** important*** pile of canvas in the back of the cart (it’s not even shiny?) and agrees. She reminds Magnus that he and Gunther are to come to the castle tomorrow and sort out the whole misunderstanding. I’m struggling to believe that she’s really this stupid. She offers Magnus her hand so that he can kiss her ring and as he does so she notices that his sleeve is completely soaked through with blood. She comments on it and Magnus sighs, which is apparently Ox’s cue to stuff her into a sack. Magnus tells him to make sure her death looks like she accidentally fell from Dragon.
*definitely not
**not even a little
***nope
Jester is watching all of this from the alleyway, and jumps unseen onto the cart as it passes by. We’re given a long-winded insight into his decision making leading up to jumping in the cart but it’s completely unimportant. The main point is that he’s being Very Brave.
Now he’s on the cart, where he climbs over the canvas. The canvas is mentioned A LOT. If this were a well-written novel that would NOT have been foreshadowing, but it isn’t so it is. He sits behind Ox and deliberates for a seemingly endless amount of time over what to do, if/how to over power him, if to call for the guards at the castle gate as they pass by, wishing he had paid more attention to Jane and Gunther’s training over the years etc. etc. ad nauseum. Ox turns the wagon away from the castle towards the cliffs. It’s a dangerous stretch of road with one corner known locally as “Widow’s Bend”, for the many fatal accidents it has caused. Jester finally decides what to do and it’s… pulling his hat down over Ox’s head? Ugh. Ox has his hand over Lavinia’s mouth to keep her quiet (why didn’t he just thump her over the head? He’s good at that) and she bites him, so he’s doubly distracted.
Lavinia tosses off the sack and sees Jester. The pony freaks out and takes off, Ox and Jester are thrown into the back of the cart but Lavinia remains on the seat. Ox tries to stab Jester with a knife but is thrown out onto the road. Lavinia grabs the reigns and tries to get the pony under control and Jester crawls forwards to help her, holding onto the back of the seat for support (what a good idea). They approach Widow’s Bend and Jester knows they won’t make it. He tells Lavinia they have to jump (another good idea) and they both get ready when Lavinia spots Dragon flying towards them.
Jane has seen the wagon and instructs Dragon to grab hold of it. He swoops down and Robert holds tight onto Jane’s waist (eyeroll). Jane hadn’t even known who was in the cart until they got closer, she was just following her heroic instincts.
Jester sees Dragon coming and tells Lavinia to hold on tight to something (a GRAND idea). Lavinia grabs hold of the bench seat and wraps her arms around it. Jester jumps onto the pile of canvas and holds onto a piece of rope that holds it together (a very, very bad idea).
Dragon grabs the pony and cart as they careen off the road, and funnily enough he’s not particularly slow or gentle about it, so the loose cargo (and the jester holding it) slide right out. Jester lets go of the cloth and tries to grab the cart, but is left with nothing but air.
Jane didn’t see him fall, but she notices his absence when the cart is back on the ground. She tells Robert (the guy she just met who recently escaped from the castle dungeon) to get off Dragon and look after the princess, and she and Dragon race off to find Jester.
They find him and Dragon lands close by. Jester is still alive as Jane runs to him, heck he’s even singing! He’s a mangled and bloodied wreck with some bones protruding, and Jane knows there won’t be any saving him. He asks if Lavinia is safe and Jane says she is thanks to him.
Jester claims he’s a hero, and Jane agrees. She tells him he will have to write a ballad about it.
Incel!Jester makes his move, telling Jane he wrote ballads for her, and she requests to hear one. He sings for her as she watches her friend dying, but this scene is all about Jester. He makes Jane promise that she will find Gunther and keep him safe because of all the blood on Magnus, then he tells her how he wants his funeral arranged (I shit you not). He wants to be cremated on a boat Viking-style with dragon fire because it’s the colour of Jane’s hair. He tells her he would have brushed her hair every day of her life. Jane kisses him as he dies, then starts crying.
End chapter.
Overall Impressions:
UGH.
Last chapter we learnt that Gunther isn’t Magnus’ son, but in this chapter we’re told they’re still blood relations. Is this supposed to absolve everyone who failed to intervene in Gunther’s life because it turns out he IS a Breech after all? Because it doesn’t, just to be clear.
I know the scene between Gunther and Magnus is overshadowed by the end scene but the disturbing undertone of the previous chapter really carries through here. Why, in a chapter called “Acts of Courage” is Gunther’s fear focused on so intently? Jester is off being a man of action while Sir Gunther the Knight quivers and quakes with no reprieve. His reasonable fears have been dismissed by everyone he has shared them with throughout this novel but now that we are seeing how on point his predictions were, the focus is on how terrified he is? We don’t even get to see if he was able to make any difference at all, or how hard he fought to stop his father, or even if the blood dripping from Magnus’ hand is his or Gunther’s. We ALREADY KNOW he’s scared; he’s spent the last twenty chapters explaining WHY he’s scared and if one person had listened to him this whole mess could have been avoided. Instead, everything has imploded, and doubtless Gunther will be blamed and probably called a coward to boot.
ROBERT’S HANDS. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this last chapter but he fought off those wolves with bandaged hands?? Which have already started to heal even though they were only burned THAT AFTERNOON???!!?!?!? Anyway, he sure can’t keep those hands off Jane, which is a detail that really didn’t need to be included full stop, but in this chapter especially.
Robert telling Dragon that Jane is his Dragonblade is really telling of his attitude towards Jane and her autonomy in this whole situation. It should be up to Jane to have that conversation with Dragon when they are able to on their terms, it’s really none of Robert’s business. But of course he can’t let a chance to exert control over Jane pass him by.
Now, about Jester. I found his POV in this chapter frankly exhausting. So much time spent extrapolating all of the things he could/should/would do before he just goes and does the dumbest thing. I’m not sure if all the reasoning was meant to show how intelligent he is and how deeply he thinks everything through, but really it contributed nothing except a higher word count.
His death was meaningless and unnecessary. He didn’t die to save Lavinia, she was already saved, and would still be saved if he had not died. It could be argued that sometimes death is unnecessary and meaningless and that is the point, but I don’t think that applies here. If Jester had just listened to Gunther instead of dismissing his warnings, then this could all have been avoided. But no, better to call him dramatic and then grandstand from his deathbed by making Jane promise to find Gunther and keep him safe. Never mind that Gunther would be safe and Jester would be alive if he’d been just a bit smarter earlier in the day.
The death scene itself was painful to read for all the wrong reasons. He has fallen to his death from some kind of height, his body is destroyed but his lungs and brain are working just fine. He gets to have the “death he deserves”, confessing his feelings to Jane as she cradles his head, singing the ballads he wrote for her, alone with her at last. We see this from Jane’s POV but as usual she is just a passive vessel into which male characters pour their adoration, and we get very little insight into how she actually feels about it. Does she kiss Jester because she realises she loves him, or because she pities him? We don’t know.
Time passed since the start of the novel: day two - night
Mentions of the word gong: 1
Mentions of Robert’s teeth: 1
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Overwatch - Tips for Support Mains
I’m leaving Brigitte and Lúcio out of this because I haven’t played them enough to give you any tips.
Also these are just my experiences! Opinions can be different and playstyles vary.
Basics
Healers stay in the backline if possible. Don’t go into deep to save one single dps! Try to stay behind your tanks. If your tanks die, run away - just run. This fight is over and you will get killed.
if a Rein YEETS into the enemy team, sometimes it’s okay to go after him - not always though. Of course it always depends on the situation, but if you’re on defense and your tank dives into the enemy team don’t go after them. Tell them to come back to you for healing
the backline rule also depends on the situation. If your enemy team has a tracer it is likely you will die in the backline because it’s Tracer’s job to destroy the enemy backline. Same with Winston/D.Va. So if the enemy team is running dive comp, try to stay behind the tanks but stay in reach so they can protect you if needed
pay attention to your surroundings. Look around, look above to see if there’s a Hanzo on the high ground and peek around corners. Flankers tend to attack from behind so always keep an eye open for Genji/Tracer/Reaper
Listen to your surroundings, too. Learn how the footsteps of the characters sound like!! Here’s a video >Guess the footsteps<
priorities: ulting teammate > dying squishy > tank on low health > squishy on mid health without self healing abilities (Genji, Hanzo,Junk,...) > tank/squishy on mid health with self healing abilities (Mei, Roadhog, Soldier,...) > tank on mid health but with defensive abilities ready (Rein on mid health but with 1800 shield for example) (last two points are basically on the same level on the priority list tho)
learn to count enemy ultimates. Watch their actions, look at what they’re doing. Enemy Mercy has been damage boosting the enemy Soldier the whole time? He has his ult ready for sure!
Mercy & Zenyatta are a great team, just as Lúcio and Moira are
Ana
save your sleep dart for when you need it, don’t shoot in into the enemy team hoping to actually sleep an enemy
use it to sleep diving tanks trying to jump onto your head (if you have a good aim, this can be pretty difficult tbh), ulting enemies or saving your 2nd healer from diving attacks
talk with your team about their ults. Talk to them before you nano them, or else they will run into the enemy team trying to get an amazing play just because they’re boosted
good boosts: Genji, Soldier, Reinhardt, Roadhog, Pharah, maybe even Junkrat
bad boosts: Boostio. (kidding but seriously, keep an eye out for your Lúcio!! They love to jump in front of the person you want to nano boost)
throw your nade into your Zarya’s Graviton Surge so the enemy team won’t be able to heal themselves with transcendence/Ana nade+biotic field (=mini transcendence; see point below)
if you don’t have a Zen on your team but a Soldier with his biotic field ready AND you’re in the enemy Zarya’s Graviton, you throw your nade onto the ground and Soldier uses his biotic field. It actually is a mini transcendence!
Mercy
when your team is on full health, damage boost the dps!! They gain their ult charge faster this way
if your team isn’t dying, your off healer is doing their job and D.Va is out of her Meka, damage boost the baby D.Va! That way she will get her Meka back faster
change your settings so you can control your guardian angel better (also learn to use the ‘slingshot’ - guardian angel towards a teammate and press SPACE to jump right before you reach them)
Battle Mercys are cool and all, but Mercy is a burst healer. Don’t shoot, heal or damage boost your dps!
if you resurrect one of your teammates make sure it is save! I have seen and I have killed so many stupid Mercys who just stand on the point in the open trying to res someone
call out your res in voicechat. Tell your team that there will be no res for the next 30/20/10 seconds
Moira
YOU’RE NOT A DPS!!!! For fucks sake if I see one more Moira dealing damage and not healing I will go wild
don’t use the damage orbs, please. Moira’s damage orbs deal 200 hp damage but her healing orbs heal 300 hp!!
never run out of that sweet sweet healing juice!! Learn to manage your resources, because if you’re out of healing and your teammate is dying you can’t help them!
save your fade ability to reach your teammates more quickly, escape from a lost teamfight or to dodge enemy ults (D.Va bomb, Riptire,...)
Coalescence does deal a fair amount of damage, but it’s the best way to keep your team alive in an intense fight! Heal up your tanks in 2 seconds max!!
learn the Moira fade jumps. Video linked > here < (It took my forever to learn this so be patient)
Zenyatta
NEVER STOP FIRING THOSE ORBS INTO THE ENEMY TEAM
honestly, Zen has an incredicle damage output!! Tear down those shields!! Destroy the turret!!!
Whenever I play Zen I make sure to have at least 8k+ healing and 8k+ damage!
always have a discord orb and a healing orb on someone!!
call out your discord orbs when you’re in voicechat! (”Monkey discord”, “Junk discorded”, ...)
use your ult to counter the enemy team’s ults: Graviton, Dragonblade, Tactical Visor, Mei’s Blizzard and so on.
don’t waste your ult to save yourself!! As always it depends on the situation, but if the enemy Genji hasn’t used his Dragonblade for quite some time then don’t waste your ult on trying to escape the certain Riptire death
if your team is cuddled up in a big pile and you hear angry japanese near your position, pop that ult ASAP! Don’t wait until you see the ulting Genji - if the Genji player is good he will attack from behind and it will be too late
Transcendence does not negate damage it just outheals it. Zen’s ult won’t save your team from D.Va’s ult
also be careful when using transcendence, a D.Va bomb or a Whole Hog can push you off the map
Also here are a few links to videos I enjoyed a lot (1 tip for every hero to play against)
Ana --- Lúcio --- Mercy --- Zenyatta
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Dragonblade Chapter One - A Deep Dive
20 years after the Jane and the Dragon TV series worked its way into our hearts, the novel we have been waiting for, Dragonblade, has been delivered.
The views expressed in this synopsis/analysis/review/whatever it is are entirely my own, and as a long-standing Gunther fan who sometimes struggles with change, they are neither perfect nor unbiased. I will do my best however to be fair.
Where we left off in the TV series:
Jane: 12 years old, intelligent, hard-working, concerned for her friends’ wellbeing and open to their opinions, confident but prone to occasional self-doubt, stubborn and determined enough to see her way through a challenge. Easily provoked but with enough good sense to see reason in the end.
Gunther: 14 years old, self-absorbed and aware that he isn’t popular with his contemporaries. His moral compass has been stunted by his upbringing but is present nonetheless and the main source of the internal conflict between his need for his father’s love and his desire to be a good knight. At the end of the TV series he has begun to find creative ways to undermine his father’s schemes, and develop a tentative friendship with the castle staff, but is not yet established as a reliably good character.
Jester: 14 years old, creative, sensitive, loyal to his friends, uncharitable to those he dislikes, devoted to Jane but level-headed and patient and willing to call her out on her own bad behaviour. A voice of reason and wisdom in most situations.
Pepper: 12 years old, emotionally astute but naïve, prone to believing what she hopes is true and not letting the facts get in the way. Maternal, protective and caring, and very supportive of Jane.
Rake: 13 years old, shy, awkward, kind-hearted, nervous and jumpy. Smitten with Pepper but ineloquent. Slowly edging towards a romantic relationship with her.
Smithy: 14 years old, steady, reliable, quiet but not unsociable, firm, practical, strong and kind. A good and loyal friend, even tempered but not without his limits.
Where we pick up in the novel:
Chapter One: Breakfast with Friends
We have jumped ahead five years, although the characters’ ages have only advanced four years. Jane is 16 now (and somehow so is Gunther?) and she is sitting at the dining table in the garden with Rake, Jester, Smithy (18) and Pepper while Dragon sleeps on the castle wall. Jane is now a knight, which was her life-long goal and the main focus of the TV series.
She is in a snappy mood but it’s very early morning so perhaps that explains it. The conversation centers around her large appetite, and when Smithy makes an idle observation, two things happen. The first is that everyone reacts as though him speaking is highly unusual, and the second is that, somehow, the entire group of individuals all wonder to themselves if he was flirting with Jane. There is no reason given for why they all think this. He is slapped by Jane and kicked by Jester for what was a (truly!) innocuous remark, and it’s no wonder he seldom speaks, if this is the penalty. If Smithy was flirting then why not Rake, who began the conversation?
Gunther arrives with news, to a frosty reception. He is no longer welcome at the friends’ shared table, and Jane silently dwells on old slights which were already addressed five years ago. Jester engages him in conversation with a barbed comment, and Gunther prods back. Rake misunderstands their banter and Pepper, seemingly out of nowhere, takes the opportunity to praise his sexual prowess. It’s an uncomfortable moment for both the gardener and myself. Gunther handles the situation by telling Pepper to “Spare [Rake], indeed spare us all.” Thank you, Gunther.
Gunther’s news is that someone called “Haroldus” is enroute to the castle. We the reader do not know who this is, but the castle staff are clearly well acquainted with him, and most are pleased to hear of his coming. Smithy is concerned for his pig. Jester is especially a fan, calling him a source of “intelligent conversation” and a “master orator”.
Dragon is also unaware of who Haroldus is, despite him visiting only two years ago. This is explained away by Dragon apparently sulking in his cave for the duration. The word “orator” is thrown out again, this time by Jane, although apparently said orator wasn’t worth mentioning once he left so Dragon has never heard of him.
The scene ends with a Dragon-sized fart joke.
We flash back to Jane explaining to an unimpressed Sir Theodore how her sword was broken by Dragon (while he used it as a toothpick) in a semi-amusing scenario. Theodore mentions the financial toll Dragon takes on the castle and Jane is dismissed with an order to bathe before inflicting her presence on others.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
As readers we have been dropped into a pre-existing world with little preamble. I thought I knew these characters well and expected reading this novel to feel like pulling a favourite blanket around me on a cold afternoon, familiar and comforting. Instead it seems that enough has changed with the passage of time that I don’t quite know them anymore, or that they don’t know yet how to be themselves, and the sensation is more like misjudging a step. Not a disaster, but unsettling just the same. Jane is crude and snappy, Theodore is less good-humoured, and all of her friends seem to have lost a degree of the kindness and sweetness I have always associated with them. Perhaps there is a reason for this, which will be revealed in future chapters. The narrative also seems to be finding its feet, swinging between sex jokes and fart jokes as though unsure what its audience wants.
There are mistakes littered throughout, such as Jane’s “main” of red hair, which add to my discomfort while reading. I am aware that these errors continue through upcoming chapters and will try to limit my comments on them unless they are truly erroneous. No promises though!
Changes to canon: Gunther’s age, Pig’s gender (he may be a new pig)
Time passed: no more than an hour
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Twenty
Chapter Nineteen
It’s time for another round on the torture mill that is Dragonblade. Also that Big Spoiler still hasn’t happened. Perhaps it won’t until heavy handed hints have been dropped about every possible character it could possibly be.
Chapter Twenty – Broken Dreams
We open with Jane preparing for the wolf attack, castigating herself for not following Theodore’s direction and having her sword on her at all times. The sword Lavinia stole? The one Jane probably should have just grabbed and used to summon Dragon back? Assuming she knows where it is, which is hard to be sure of right now. Luckily she has a dagger!
The wolves attack and she slices one open before bathing in its blood like a twisted Bathory. Maybe it will be good for her skin? Things aren’t going great for Jane but hark! Robert appears (despite literally just being taken aside by Theodore for a “chat” and also supposedly being under guard) and together they fight, killing the wolves in a messy battle. Although Jane has been training all her life she isn’t focused, and constantly berates herself for her mistakes, while also noticing how intent Robert is. So glad that he’s better than Jane at fighting, too. Whatta man.
Jane is covered in blood, alarming Robert, but tells him it isn’t hers. Robert is sitting so she pulls him to his feet. Insert “why are you holding my hand~” stupidity here, I kid you not. Jane sets off for the village, explaining to Robert along the way why she is worried about Lavinia’s safety, including “Gunther’s little conspiracy” WHICH IT IS NOT ARGH. Robert starts to run but Jane can’t keep up, collapsing. It seems she was bitten by a wolf during the fight and despite this section being told from Jane’s POV, that information has not been shared with the reader until now.
Robert moves to heroically carry her, but Jane tells him he needn’t bother, as Dragon will have felt the bite and be on his way. Couldn’t he have smelled the wolves when Jane did and come then? Just a thought.
Jump to Jester’s POV, where we rehash/rewrite the moment he already had last chapter seeing Lavinia and Dragon flying past the moon, this time in more irritating detail as he wallows in his misery.
Jester realises that Lavinia will be going to confront the Merchant, which finally motivates him to do something, and he runs to the stables, where Smithy intercepts him.
Smithy assumes that Jester is hurrying to get to the tavern, which seems like a pretty safe bet. Jester even says “No tavern, not tonight!” so it’s obviously a regular part of his evenings.
Jester tells Smithy where Lavinia is, and Smithy says they might stand a chance of getting some sleep tonight after all. Robert made a similar comment to Jane. It’s only early, guys.
Jester tells Smithy all is not well and he must tell Sir Theodore where Lavinia is while Jester goes ahead to find her. Smithy wants to know what’s going on but Jester won’t tell him for… reasons? Reasons which are very moot at this point? IDK. Smithy says he will alert Theodore but that Jester must take a guard from the gate with him.
We get lots of detail about the night gate and warm flagstones and bed warmers as two unnamed guards decline to help Jester (EVEN THOUGH THE LITERAL PRINCESS IS CURRENTLY MISSING. Use some INITIATIVE, guys!) so Jester runs to the village alone. Where he finds no one.
Cut to inside the Merchant’s house, where Lavinia is making herself at home and can’t get over how much nice food Magnus and his friends have been eating. She is especially excited about the figs, which she says they haven’t had at the castle for some time. Gunther is brought in by our dear friend Pincher and forced to sit beside his father. Lavinia has all of Magnus’ henchmen, who are engaging in classic henchmen behaviour such as picking meat from their teeth and pandering to their boss, sent out so she can speak to Magnus in private. Gunther is made to stay. The situation is clearly very tense and unpleasant, but Lavinia is clearly not blessed with the ability to read a room, and blabs out everything she has overheard of what Gunther was saying earlier. It’s difficult reading, especially as it is told from Gunther’s POV and he CAN read his father’s true feelings under his false smile.
Magnus takes Gunther out or the room, and let’s just say physical abuse is confirmed, although I didn’t see the eye-gouging coming. After a loud and violent tantrum, Magnus starts plotting to murder Lavinia and frame Dragon.
End chapter.
Thoughts:
Oh Robert. The man, the myth, the teeth. How did he get away from what I’m sure will be shown to be a very long conversation with Theodore in time to save Jane so soon after she left the castle? Or am I asking too much by wanting time to make sense in this book?
Robert is there to fight with Jane, and banter with her, and help her when she is injured and to slip seamlessly into the role of her partner in combat. AKA all the things Gunther is supposed to be doing. Robert is so clearly designed to step into the place of Gunther, one of the most popular characters in the fandom, and take his place. Except he can’t, because Gunther is Jane’s peer, her friend, her rival, her training partner, her motivator, her intended knightly partner since childhood, and he knows her. Robert isn’t a “better version” of Gunther, he’s a poor imitation. A grown man preying on a child, a manipulator, a user and an unwanted intrusion.
Why is Jane so shit at being a knight?? She can’t clear her head and fight because she’s always thinking about Theodore telling her to clear her head, or some other stupid reason. Was she seriously criticising herself out loud during that fight? So that Robert could hear? Well, I’m sure he won’t use her insecurities against her, because it’s not like he has a history of doing that multiple times in the less than 48 hours since they met. Phew!
Jester continues to be deeply self-absorbed and Smithy pretty much confirms that he probably has a drinking problem. Maybe he will be the one to die (of alcohol poisoning). When he finally gets motivated to do something to help Lavinia (as instructed by Ivon) he won’t even give a clear reason for his alarm. As far as anyone else knows, Lavinia is safe and sound in the village, just meters from the castle. Jester hasn’t really got a good reason to keep any secrets now that he knows she is going to tell the Merchant what she knows and since he wanted Gunther to tell the King he’s obviously not worried about his safety at all. So no, no one will come to help him save Lavinia with the required urgency because they don’t have any reason to think she’s in danger.
While the information about the night gate and the bed warmers is interesting and potentially useful, it should have been given during the early chapters, perhaps when they were bringing Haroldus (remember him?) to the castle and not in the middle of a tensely urgent moment. Like is Jester really thinking about warm flagstones being like the bedwarmers Pepper heats in the kitchen fire on winter nights while he’s frantically running to save Lavinia? Really?
Nice of the gate guards to compliment him on his skills as a singer though.
That whole scene with Magnus, Lavinia and Gunther was painful to read. It also shows how stupid it is that everyone is blowing off Gunther’s concerns and calling his plan a “little conspiracy” and blaming him for so much when this scene makes it painfully clear how right he is, and how dangerous his father is. Gunther’s lack of shock when Magnus starts beating him goes to show it’s probably not a new experience for him. This poor kid just keeps getting screwed over.
If Jester is lurking outside and overhearing this, will he suddenly realise how wrong he has been and that the danger to Gunther’s life is 100% real? Probably not.
With Robert ready to step into Gunther’s still warm shoes and Gunther being forced into a corner where he needs to “redeem” himself (because that’s what the narrative wants us to think and not because of anything he’s done) I don’t have much hope that he’s going to get out of this alive.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day Two –early night
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o7 thank you for your service, suffering in the name of fandom to read the abysmal excuse of a story that is Dragonblade. I couldn't get past the first couple of chapters but your summaries gave me a good chuckle. Maybe the epilogue will tie up some of the loose plot threads? (Doubtful, there was SO MUCH left unresolved)
Hey, no worries! It isn’t easy reading, I don’t blame you for skipping.
It’s been a month since the last chapter release and still no epilogue, so the question isn’t so much how it will be tied up but if and when? And the epilogue would need to be longer than the rest of the novel put together if it’s going to have any hope of making things make sense!
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen – Confrontations
First of all, the Big Thing that we were told was going to happen this chapter doesn’t actually happen. Secondly, this chapter really doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I will do my best to summarise. Caution: swearword. Also spoiler: there are no confrontations in this chapter.
We’re back with Jester, who is feeling frazzled. He wants to chase down Gunther and force him to commit career suicide but acknowledges that his duty is to the royals in this time of anguish, so he goes in search of them instead. Jester admits that Lavinia is not in any danger with Dragon, and in fact Dragon is probably at greater risk.
Most of the court and castle staff have moved back inside, with “dozens” gathering in the throne room to remain close to the action. The population at the castle has certainly grown a lot in the last few years! The King and Queen aren’t there so Jester heads to their chambers, where he finds Ivon (miraculously not passed out drunk in the dungeon anymore!) standing guard. Ivon won’t let him in to see the Royals, telling Jester they need time to “boil in their anger” and that he should instead go and pack Jane’s bags for her as the knight says she will not be permitted to stay at the castle after this.
Jester of course starts crying again and, oddly, Ivon gives him a hug. Jester begins to go into mourning over all the seggs he won’t get to have with Jane, but Ivon reminds him he must turn his energy towards Lavinia and her current escapade. He stumbles out into the garden, where he sits and mopes at the fountain, fully self-absorbed until he catches a glimpse of Dragon’s silhouette against the moon and remembers he’s supposed to be doing something.
Dragon is delivering Lavinia into the market square outside the Merchant’s house. His house is the largest in the village and sits opposite the tavern. There’s some useful “lay of the land” type information here.
Dragon tries to warn Lavinia that she should talk to Jane rather than the Merchant, because Dragon doesn’t trust him. Lavinia wants to know why not and Dragon says there are lots of reasons, although his leading argument is that he wears scented oil and doesn’t like Dragon. He goes on to trash talk Gunther as another reason for not liking Merchant. Anyone remember the JatD TV series where Dragon and Gunther actually had a lot in common and sometimes got on well? Until Magnus sabotaged things? Yeah, me too.
Lavinia somewhat defends Gunther before also wilfully misinterpreting his plan to keep her safe. She also talks a bit about how she will be a queen one day, which means she will have to marry a prince from another kingdom. So she’s not actually opposed to the idea? What’s all this stupid carry on for, then?!
They land, and Lavinia sets off for the Merchant’s house, dismissing Dragon.
We change to Gunther’s POV. Fortunately his hangover appears to have miraculously cleared up, in keeping with all hangovers in this novel. He is in his father’s house, having snuck inside and up to his room just a few moments before, and is looking on in disbelief as the Princess arrives.
He reflects on the miserable childhood he has spent in this “forlorn place” ever since he arrived at three years of age after his mother married Magnus.* If he has any memories of his real father** or birth place or happiness, they have been completely smothered by this “dark and brooding house”.
Gunther continues his evolution into a Bronte sisters character as he considers his options for safety, and settles on running away. Now that Jester knows his plan (and has so completely failed to understand it) Gunther knows there will be no forgiveness from the King and no safety from his father. He has some money stashed away that he has earned on the side while doing dodgy deals for Magnus, and has snuck into the house to retrieve it before jumping on a ship and getting far, far away from this hell hole. Once again Gunther is the only sensible character in this story.
Some of Magnus’ crew is at the house, eating and drinking with their employer. They are even referred to as his “henchmen”, cementing Magnus’ rise to Villain-status even while Gunther is treated as though he is far worse by all of the people who should have been protecting him this entire time.
He sneaks by unseen, or at least unacknowledged, and into his bedroom, which is also treated as a storage space for his father’s wares. Gunther has been preparing for the possible scenario of needing to run away for the last THREE YEARS, stashing his money away in his bedroom walls, and is retrieving it when he feels Dragon land by the house. He sees the Princess and is instantly alarmed for her safety.
We are now with Jane, who is still riding down the mountain in the dark after throwing her torch away. She thought the moonlight would be enough to see by, but an errant cloud has parked itself in the way and now she must let her eyes adapt to see by starlight. Instead of giving her horse its head and letting it guide her back to the castle she decides that the safest thing to do is dismount and lead it. The horse rears in fright as she is getting off and throws her to the ground. Jane knows instantly it’s because the horse smelled a wolf. Jane knows this because she, too, SMELLED THE WOLF, while being thrown from the horse. She is now alone in the dark, except for the wolf and her extremely powerful nose.
Dragon watches Lavinia walk away from him and reflects on how much like Jane she is, except that unlike Jane Lavinia doesn’t have an ounce of self-doubt.
Gunther tries to get Lavinia’s attention from his bedroom window, to wave her away and warn her off, by throwing a button down at her. She sees him, but Magnus opens the door. Gunther turns back into his room and finds himself face-to-face with Pincher Bates, a debt collector who works for Magnus and enjoys pulling teeth. He calls Gunther “boy”.
Thoughts:
*WHAT
**THE FUCK
I feel like everyone in this novel, including the author himself, has forgotten that Gunther is a knight. Why does he still live at home when he could live at the castle with the other knights? Why does he need to stash money and make plans to run away and live in fear when he should be a valued and protected part of the castle staff? Why does his word mean nothing to anyone when he is a sworn knight of the King? Where are his brothers (and sister) in arms? Where are his protective mentors, his understanding friends, his COMRADES, HIS KING?! Gunther is clearly acting like a victim of abuse, he FEARS FOR HIS LIFE, and everyone, EVERYONE in his life is failing him on a spectacular scale.
All of that without even taking into consideration that there is no way in a small village like Kippernium that all of the adults don’t know that Gunther turned up one day as a three-year-old and wasn’t actually a born son of Magnus. And then his mother vanished shortly after. And then those same adults all sat back and watched this child be abused, and blamed him for his “father’s” and “grandfather’s” sins and used that to justify their own mistreatment of him too.
If you’re going to blatantly re-write a character’s entire history and backstory in such a nonsensical way, at least take a moment to consider how badly it will reflect on your other, favoured characters.
Theodore sat there in his office and looked at Gunther and reviled his “hesitation” as a character flaw instead of the survival mechanism it so clearly is, and TOLD HIM he was a chip off his father’s block, the man who abuses him, who ISN’T EVEN HIS FATHER, which he absolutely would know. And Theodore is supposed to be a good person? I’m afraid that doesn’t line up.
The usual blatant character abuse and re-writing aside, very little actually happened in this chapter, apart from Ivon telling Jester that Jane will be exiled over Lavinia’s actions and Jester accepting that as perfectly logical (um. what.) and the Royals “boiling in their anger” at Jane (note they never seem to blame themselves for their parenting failures. Also, Lavinia is clearly 100% on board with marrying and leaving the kingdom to become a queen elsewhere, so WHAT EVEN IS THE PROBLEM??!) and Jane developing super-scent all of a sudden. Roughly a 5-10 minute window of time elapses after Jester starts moping at the fountain. Dragon and Lavinia land in the marketplace, Gunther sees them and tries to divert Lavinia, and Jane is thrown from her horse. The rest is just re-caps and reflecting.
Dragon seems less like an independent character and more like a mouthpiece for the author. He’s gone from total disinterest in Lavinia and everything she has to say and failing to give her advice, to comparing her to Jane and trying to give her advice, in the brief amount of time it took to fly from his cave to the village.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day Two –early night
Time Jester has spent crying: 1 hour, plus time in the catacombs, plus time in the castle/at the fountain
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen – Lavinia’s Dilemma
Lavinia is remembering a conversation she had with Jester a few weeks ago about Cuthbert, and how he was improving as a person. This is illustrated by yet another story of him prioritising an insect over people, so I’m not exactly filled with confidence that he will make a great ruler.
Then their conversation turns to Gunther, and whether or not he is a good person. Jester says that he is, and points out that his father has not been good to him, or a good influence. Starting to feel like this book has been written for the Gunthester fans, tbh.
Somehow, in spite of all this context, Lavinia still concludes that Gunther is merely plotting to bring about his father’s death and will treat her badly in order to achieve it. Despite it being spelled out that Magnus would be executed for treason, because HE IS PLANNING TREASON, and Lavinia would simply no longer be betrothed to Juan/Gunther/whoever as a result, not that part of bringing down Magnus’ plan involves her being specifically targeted for emotional pain by Gunther, wtf?
She also decides that she can’t discuss any of this with Jester, which makes no sense, and decides it will have to be Dragon, because… reasons.
The King would throw Gunther out for… not allowing his father to commit treason. The Queen would have him exiled for the same. Jane would tell her to go to Theodore who would tell her to go to the King and we’re back to the start. Does Lavinia honestly think that not a single person would think to say “We’ll look into it and try to help Gunther save us all from his father’s tyrannical rule!”??? I mean, with the way Gunther is treated by the other characters in the novel it’s not hard to believe, but that doesn’t make it make sense. But Lavinia also can’t do nothing because if Gunther’s plan unrolls then Magnus will be executed FOR THE TREASON HE WILL HAVE COMMITTED. If Gunther’s plan doesn’t work out then MAGNUS WILL RULE THE KINGDOM HOW IS THIS NOT A PROBLEM FOR ANYONE???? Gah!
So Lavinia decides she must confide in Dragon. Because he’s definitely the most level-headed advisor, sure.
Jane is in her room, having tidied herself up as Theodore requested. I wonder if she’ll notice Jester’s arse-print and tear stains on her bed?
She is preparing for a meeting with the King to explain the contents of this novel so far which… good luck with that lol.
She looks at her belongings, struggling to fully commit to the Marie Condo life. There is so much emphasis placed on Jane and her belongings being a tie to her past/preventing her from changing. It doesn’t make any real sense, literally every person who has achieved anything has probably had some treasured, sentimental possession of some sort. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a clunky metaphor or an attempt at hinting that Jane’s mysterious new future will require her to let go of everything she has ever cared about in her life, but it’s just confusing so far.
She heads to the meeting place and catches up with Pepper, who wants to know how Robert burned his hands. Robert told Pepper that Jane pushed him into the fire when he tried to “embrace” her. I have no words.
Pepper calls Robert their “handsome young guest”. First, if everyone could stop describing this guy as being so insanely handsome for five minutes, that would be nice. Second, WHY is a much younger Pepper calling Robert “young”? It’s been established that he’s an adult in his 20s, no changing it now just to make him seem less creepy.
Pepper is very dismissive of the fact that this grown adult man tried to assault her friend in a cave to the point where said friend felt the need to physically defend herself, and instead teases Jane about kissing. So that’s nice.
Throughout the meeting with the royals Robert is called “Young Robert” repeatedly. Still doesn’t make it okay!
Jane recaps things for the royals and then the Queen re-recaps for the King. It’s still a steaming pile of horseshit.
Every adult in Jane’s life continues to fail to care about her basic physical and emotional wellbeing. The Queen basically tells Jane she can do whatever she wants and won’t be held to her decision to become a knight. Wild.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
Is all the carry on about Jane’s “toys and trinkets” referring to her KNIGHTHOOD? Like that was a thing she wanted when she was a child but now a creepy gross stranger who entered her life less than 48 hours ago and keeps lying to and about her has her questioning if her life-long ambition is really all that?
Why is Lavinia (and everyone else, really) so wilfully misinterpreting what Gunther is planning? He is literally the hero this kingdom does not deserve. By telling Jester (or anyone at all) what he’s planning he is jeopardising everything, because if word gets back to Magnus it won’t end well for Gunther.
But sure, not wanting his father to stage a coup and rule the kingdom makes Gunther a bad guy.
Time passed since start of novel: day two, the unrelenting afternoon
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Twelve
Chapter Eleven
Sorry about the hiatus, it took a while to get over the previous chapter.
Chapter Twelve – Heartbreak
Jester is still crying. Weeping, in fact, which he has been doing for the last HOUR. Because Dragon thinks some random guy fancies Jane.
Jester doesn’t understand why he is behaving this way, which makes two of us. He tries to understand where this sense of foreboding is coming from, by further invading Jane’s privacy and examining her room. He knows it all so intimately, so obsessively, that he could walk around it blindfolded, so that’s not creepy at all. At last he sees what is amiss. Jane has put some of her decorative trinkets away off her mantlepiece. Yep, that’s it. Jester has subconsciously noticed this signal of huge, significant change and is responding proportionally.
Jester sees Dragon flying towards them out of a window, and leaves Jane’s room. Gunther is already waiting in the yard when Jester joins him and he knows where Jester has been. Jester lies and says he was only in Jane’s room to access the roof but Gunther doesn’t really believe him. He can tell Jester has been crying too, and promises that Jane will not learn about Jester’s crush from him. Jester tries to deflect but Gunther has the upper hand in the conversation. Gunther tells him they are allies now, and have to keep each other’s secrets. He has involved Jester in his plans to bring down his father, save the kingdom and save the princess. Apparently she is supposed to marry Prince Juan of Granadilla which makes less than no sense because isn’t that who Lady Rose is betrothed to? Jester is unsure if he can be trusted, and compares him to his father, holding onto the belief that they are “cut from the same cloth” and that Gunther is a schemer. Jester tells him to leave him out of it, which Gunther agrees to but says Jester will soon change his mind.
Dragon is bringing the bats from the Three Sisters’ cheese cave along with him, so they must have agreed to move into his cave. He is also carrying Robert behind Jane, who Gunther spots first. It’s hard to be sure who’s POV this snippet is from, but Robert is described as good-looking and strong in appearance. Jester is pained by his presence.
Jane tells Robert to let her handle things at the castle and to show appropriate deference to the royal family but he doesn’t seem inclined to listen to her.
She greets Gunther and embraces Jester, noting that he is shaking and his been crying. She reminds him she told him that she would return safely and he tells her she’s half a day late (did she set a time to return? Either way there’s no logical explanation for his disproportionate behaviour.
Jane asks for Theodore and is told that he is torturing Haroldus. She gets upset and asks Dragon if she passed along the message about Haroldus brokering the whole thing with Robert in good faith… umm?! When was that clarified??
Jane asks Jester to take Robert to Pepper so that she can treat his burns, Dragon to take the bats to his cave and Gunther to inform Ivon of her return and post it on the board.
Gunther advises Jester to rub salt in Robert’s wounds.
Jane races to the dungeons, berating herself and shouldering the blame for Haroldus’ suffering despite that fact that it is clearly his and Robert’s fault for not just being direct about things.
Lavinia is waiting at the bottom of the dungeon stairs, trying to eavesdrop on whatever is happening beyond the door. Jane is startled to find her there. She tells Jane that “the old black knight” is hurting their friend and that she is very upset. Jane tells her to go back topside but Lavinia refuses, despite Jane telling her the queen will hold Jane responsible. Lavinia thinks Haroldus will need her to tend to his injuries like something from a ballad, which is just ick for a ten year old girl to think of about a 50 year old man, so Jane tempts her with the presence of Robert who needs tending too now and tells her he may not be a prince but he has “kind eyes” which is just the most confusing conclusion for her to have drawn when he has been anything but kind since they met.
Anyway. It works and off runs Lavinia. Jane knocks on the door and is greeted by an inexplicably drunk Theodore? WHY would he do something so stupid and unprofessional when he was unsure about the safety of his protegee? Jane even reflects on Theodore’s lectures to her about the risks of being drunk when a clear head is needed. Apparently this is why she drinks milk instead of ale herself.
Haroldus is fine and drunk and happy to see her, and Master Gorga tells her he has already tickled the information out of him. The three older men joke about implements of torture and Jane excuses herself to go tend to Robert (are Pepper and Lavinia not enough?) and Theodore tells her they will talk soon.
In the kitchen Pepper is treating Robert’s hands while Rake makes medicine and the others watch. Robert is flirting with Pepper who tells him she is promised to Rake, and Rake is confused by the exchange because despite being a sex god he apparently doesn’t know what flirting is.
Lavinia is intrigued by Robert and tells him that Jane said he has kind eyes, which pleases him and upsets Jester.
Pepper, Rake and Smithy all look at Jane with puzzled disappointment, which while I too am disappointed in Jane for finding any redeeming qualities in Robert, seems a little ungenerous of her friends.
Lavinia asks Robert if Jane bought him here at the Queen’s command, and says he doesn’t look like the portrait she has been shown. Jane asks about the portrait and Lavinia mentions Prince Juan of Granadilla, who has been chosen to marry her.
Jester who is heading up the stairs hears this and stops, and Gunther tells him he will catch up with him later at the tavern, which confuses Jane further.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
What actually happened in this chapter? When you break down the events it probably covers around 15 minutes of time tops.
I’m a little lost for words when it comes to Jester’s alarming behaviour. He broke into Jane’s room, rifled through her belongings, sobbed FOR AN HOUR and lied about it, all based on a nonsense excuse of not knowing where she was and if she was okay despite her telling him that morning. He is losing his mind over Jane being in the presence of another man and it is not a good look.
There is also no good explanation for Theodore getting drunk, and even within that scene it is pointed out how out-of-character it is for him. There’s no need to point out that the writing doesn’t make sense, we already know.
Jane finding Robert’s eyes “kind” is probably the most confusing aspect of the entire book so far. He has been entirely unkind to her for the duration of their interaction.
The situation with Prince Juan of Granadilla is bewildering too. How many girls is he betrothed to?! Was it a mistake or oversight on the author’s behalf, or is it going to be explained at some point? Why did Lavinia (10!!) look at a 24-year-old man and assume she was going to marry him?
“…rescue poor Lavinia from a dreadful marriage to Prince Juan of Granadilla who will reduce her to tears and motherhood.” Despite both Jester and Robert being credited with a magic way with words, Gunther is the character who consistently has the best lines in my opinion.
Time passed since start of novel: day two, afternoon (the sun is still shining)
Mentions of Robert’s teeth since the beginning: 3 (plus many more mentions of his smile)
Time Jester has spent crying: 1 hour
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen – Pledge Brothers
Be advised that quotation marks are a real struggle in this chapter.
A shockingly refreshing moment of insight from Jane, wherein she acknowledges she is not responsible for Jester’s feelings for her or his resulting depressive state. I am astounded.
Pepper finishes tending to Robert’s injuries and moves on to feeding him, and Robert compliments him with a “warm, genuine smile” which “touches everyone gathered in the kitchen”. Gag, there goes my appetite. Nothing like universal adoration for an abusive predator to put me off my crumpets.
Theodore summons Jane. You may recall he was staggeringly drunk about 10 minutes ago. Well, bottle that miracle tonic, he’s perfectly sober now.
Lavinia announces she is going to check on the “pig egg”. Believe it or not, this is important later.
Jane and Theodore head to the throne room, where they have a conversation about comfort and discomfort, dreams and destiny. Sometimes I think the author *cough* Sir Theodore just likes hearing the sound of his own voice. He tells Jane a tale of time spent in a dungeon with Haroldus, Robert’s father, and an unnamed fourth man. Sir Theodore says this happened around 40 years ago, so already the maths doesn’t add up with Haroldus being not-yet-50 now. How was he an imprisoned “young adventurer for hire” scheduled for execution at less than 10-years-old?? Theodore’s story has more holes than a colander, but let’s take it at face value. He is here in the kingdom, and has been training Jane, and Haroldus has been doing whatever he’s been doing, AND Robert’s inherited obsession with dragons that his father had developed, and his resulting unhinged behaviour ALL come down to some long-dead young man’s dying wish based on something he read once?
Honestly?
Moving on.
Gunther is looking for Jester. He hopes he’s not in the tavern getting drunk. He then follows this thought with “(Jester) wasn’t much of a drinker, except when he was taking solace.” Umm, not the reassurance you think it is.
He finds Jester in the stables and psychoanalyses him, before filling him in further on Magnus’ schemes.
There’s more about how Magnus plans for Gunther to be married to Lavinia in his bid to take over control of the kingdom, and how Gunther plans to prevent it.
When Jester points out that Magnus will be executed for treason, Gunther has no issue with that, and in fact lists several benefits, including avenging his late mother. Has Gunther learned of his mother’s death, or just assumed it is so? We’ll probably never be told.
They talk about Lavinia, and Gunther points out that he’s not responsible for any confused feelings she may have, but he will have saved her from a twisted and loveless marriage to himself in which she will be used as a pawn for Magnus to control her kingdom. But you know, this makes Gunther heartless in Jester’s opinion. Because of course.
And now the conversation turns to Robert. Jester asks if he is one of Lavinia’s potential suitors (?!?!) Gunther says the man with the “pigtails and brooding eyes” is “far more handsome” than any of the portraits. Good grief. He asks Jester what he knows, and then pretends he and Jester are talking about something else when he hears Theodore approaching.
Theodore tells him to go babysit the drunk guests in the cellar. At this stage that’s Haroldus, right? Who else? Ivon will be there too, and Gunther is to let him do the drinking, while Gunther does the watching. It seems Theodore isn’t worried about what Gunther might hear. Interesting.
Theodore then asks Jester for his “wise council” and all three depart.
Lavinia’s presence in the hayloft is then revealed to the reader, where she has overheard everything and her world is losing all of its colour, apparently.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
Theodore’s story/explanation/justification was a total stretch from start to finish, and doesn’t paint him or his motivations for anything in a very flattering light.
Gunther has a solution to Magnus’ frankly vile schemes which will save the Kingdom and Lavinia, and Jester’s first concern is for Magnus’ wellbeing??
How does Magnus’ plan make sense anyway, has he forgotten that Cuthbert is first in line to the throne and Gunther won’t become king by marrying Lavinia? Or is regicide also on his to-do list?
What wise counsel is Theodore seeking from Jester? For everyone’s sake I hope he’s not giving him any information about Jane.
Time passed since start of novel: day two, the never ending afternoon
Number of quotation mark abuses in this chapter: too many to count
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Six
Chapter Five
The views expressed in this synopsis/analysis/review/whatever it is are entirely my own, and as a long-standing Gunther fan who sometimes struggles with change they are neither perfect nor unbiased. I will do my best however to be fair. My resolve is weakening.
Chapter Six: The Rust Mountains
Jane is annoyed that Dragon ate the turnips before he was given permission. It’s hard to know if these interactions between them highlighting that Jane doesn’t really have any control over Dragon’s behaviour are purely intended as comedic, or if they are hinting at a darker issue on the horizon. Dragon previously wanting to bring Haroldus to his cave and question him makes me wonder if it’s the latter.
Jane shows Dragon the map Haroldus gave her, and they set off in search of the dragon rune cavern. Jane takes the time to reflect on how special it is that she is flying on the back of a dragon, as it is such an everyday occurrence for her. She asks Dragon if he’s happy, before propositioning him with the idea of moving the three sisters’ problem bats into his cave. Dragon says it will depend on Squeaky, his resident bat. Jane knows she can only ask Dragon to do something and hope that he will agree. She considers how their relationship has changed from the simple agreement to help each other it began as and is now complicated and co-dependent.
Back at the castle, Jester is daydreaming about swimming in the fountain as he tutors Lavinia. They are sitting under a topiary, originally planted by Rake’s grandfather and now maintained by Rake. There’s a line about Rake’s father abandoning him casually dropped in here, too.
Lavinia is learning about hippopotamus, which she finds boring (really?) She wants to play maidens and monsters, until Theodore appears, at which point she promises to defend Jester from “the Grey Knight”. This kid is exhausting.
Theodore is looking for Jane, and Jester tells him she left early that morning, before sunrise. Theodore is relieved to hear that she was carrying her dragonblade, as he “believes she will need it”. Excuse me, what now? Do you believe that your old friend has sent your young charge into a trap?
Jane and Dragon arrive at the Rust mountains. They are snow capped despite it being a hot, hot summer, so we’re obviously quite a long way up. It’s a wonder Jane isn’t freezing flying through snow cold air.
The map directs them to Broken Teeth Peak, which Dragon thinks looks more like a crouching dragon.
Jane sets off on foot to investigate the lay of the land, and immediately seems to know something that we the reader are kept totally in the dark about. She decides she must “get Dragon to safety and play the charade out to ‘the end’ without him” which makes absolutely ZERO sense but here we are.
They are overlooking a ravine which is too narrow for Dragon to fly into. Jane proposes climbing down his tail and then sliding the rest of the way. Dragon isn’t keen but Jane uses the idea of the runes in the cave to bait him into it. The mouth of a cave has just become visible in the early morning light.
The tip of Dragon’s tail is evidently so ticklish that Jane’s hair brushing against it once led to her being sent flying from the battlements and knocked unconscious on the ground below.
Jane jumps and slides down into the ravine, remembering a time when she went sledding in the snow with Lavinia and Jester. Dragon asks how she will get back up and Jane tells him he’ll have to fly back to the last village they saw and borrow some rope. Dragon interprets this to mean rope and turnips, which Jane doesn’t fight him too hard on, she just wants him gone.
Theodore is brooding in his office, gazing out his window as he reflects that Jane is being tested now as never before (again, what now?) Why didn’t he say anything to her before letting her run off into danger? What was his plan if she hadn’t taken the dragonblade?
News of Dragon is what brought Theodore to the castle originally, and it brought Haroldus too. “Their reasons might be different…” so if Theodore was altruistic, is Haroldus not? Theodore believes that many others will be drawn towards the kingdom, in search of Dragon.
Theodore has been fighting the urge to drag Haroldus into the dungeons and torture a confession from him. This is all getting very confusing. Why do the characters all suddenly seem to know so much while we are told nothing?
Gunther arrives. He is hesitant in his approach, a fault Theodore decides will get him killed one day. A fault Theodore could have helped to train out of him but that was too much effort, I guess?
Gunther tells Theodore that Jane and Dragon have both vanished. Theodore asks what his point is, confusing the young knight. Gunther has completed his patrol through the village, and has seen that Ivon’s horse is back, along with “the other guards” (who???). Everyone is awaiting Theodore’s inspection, which is overdue. Gunther ‘observes’ that Theodore seems worried. He says he means no disrespect. Theodore responds by comparing him to his father. It’s an infuriating scene, to be honest. Throughout this novel there are very few dialogue tags, nothing to suggest tone, so in most cases we have to take what the characters are saying at face value. Gunther is not being rude or disrespectful, he is being an observant knight and concerned partner to Jane. But just as it is with Jane, Theodore seems determined to find fault and denigrate him for absolutely no reason.
Theodore tells Gunther to attend to his duties, “as Jane is attending to hers”. She sodding well is not!
In fact, Jane is bumming around outside of a cave in the middle of a mountain range. She is scoping out the ravine to make sure she is alone. There is no one out there, so she concludes that someone must be waiting for her inside the cave instead. Entering the cave will cost her the advantage she has on the outside. She decides it can’t be Haroldus as the cave is a day’s ride from the castle.
After trying to figure out the unknown person’s unknown plan, Jane decides to just start yelling at the problem. Someone pokes their head out of the cave and Jane recognises them.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
Geeze. What a whole lot of not much that was. We’re certainly being kept in the dark in a way that does nothing to elevate the plot. It’s clear that we’re heading into the “serious” section of the novel now, because the characters’ attitudes and thoughts have changed so instantly and confusingly. Suddenly Theodore has had suspicions about Haroldus all along and yet he invited him into the castle, gave him free access to Dragon and Jane, and allowed him to give Jane that map and for her to leave without giving her a single word of caution? And that’s supposed to make sense to us?? Likewise, Jane somehow knows that she was walking into a trap the whole time, and so she sent Dragon away and just walked on into it?
That scene with Theodore and Gunther. *seethes* What was the point of that? To show how bitter and uncharitable Theodore is? The ongoing issue with this novel’s approach to Gunther, or the other characters’ attitudes towards him, is that Gunther hasn’t done a damn thing to deserve the way he’s being treated. He hasn’t said or done ANYTHING that could justify the absolute venom being flung at him.
And as to his “hesitant” step, gee, I wonder where he picked that up? Could it have been while living with his volatile and physically intimidating (at best) father? The unhealthy relationship between Magnus and Gunther was no secret to Theodore, who could have intervened or at least taken the time to train Gunther in ways that could help and give him back the gift of self-confidence. Theodore has been an authority/educational figure in Gunther’s life since he was a young child, and he has known that his homelife was beyond miserable and his father’s influence was extremely negative. If now, at the ancient age of 16, Gunther doesn’t have the confidence to stride into a room without first ensuring it is safe to do so, that is indeed a huge failure. But not of Gunther’s.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day two, morning continued
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen – The Illusion of Choice
We rehash scenes from the end of last chapter, this time from Jane’s POV as Lavinia takes off on Dragon. Mostly she is just obsessing about herself and what being a Dragonblade might mean for her etc. etc.
Dragon is in his cave, pacifying a disgruntled Squeaky. He then wonders if he has hurt Jane’s feeling’s by transporting Robert (which Jane ASKED HIM TO DO) when he is forcefully drawn to the summoning sword. So apparently he has no say in answering the call of the sword? Interesting.
Dragon isn’t impressed to find it was Lavinia, but she persuades him to take her somewhere to talk.
The flashback continues as Jane apparently doesn’t think to go get her own stupid sword to summon Dragon back even though it’s not mentioned that Lavinia has taken it with her. Instead she goes to fetch a horse to chase after them with. I’m not understanding this panic at all. Lavinia is safer with Dragon than anywhere else in the whole kingdom. They all KNOW that Dragon won’t eat her. What’s the problem?
Robert, the only person who can out-selfish Jane, is worried that Lavinia will now be chosen as the Dragonblade. What a fickle position this is, to give up your entire life for.
During all of this chaos, Jane mentally blames Gunther for creating this entire mess. AMAZING.
Back to Jester’s POV, where he considers consoling the anguished Queen for half a second but instead chases after Jane and Robert. He runs into Smithy, and then spots Gunther, and goes to him instead. Gunther is hungover, apparently he’s the only person in this kingdom who actually gets one of those.
Jester also blames Gunther, of course. He wants Gunther to go to the King and throw himself under the bus, even if it ends his career, even if it kills him. Because why? No actual reason to be found here, dear reader.
Dragon is bored and not really listening to Lavinia. He gives her some generic non-advice, rendering this whole plot line even more pointless. Lavinia decides she must confront the Merchant and postulates about walking back down the mountain at night. Eventually she successfully manipulates Dragon into taking her. Jane sees them go and redirects her horse, realising where they are off to and going into a mad panic about how dangerous the Merchant is. Okay, so now he’s a threat??
Thoughts:
Squeaky the bat also has magical changing pronouns, appearing as a she at the start of this chapter and then as a he in a later scene. It’s nice for Dragon to have someone to relate to, I guess?
How is this whole mess being blamed on Gunther? He’s the only person in the novel who is actively trying to protect the kingdom from a real and present threat. Jester’s suggestion that he go and tell the King even if it costs him his job as a knight?? No words. And when Gunther tells him that the Merchant will talk his way out of it and Gunther will die? Jester calls him dramatic! JESTER. Calls GUNTHER. DRAMATIC.
Why is Lavinia so worthy of Jane’s desperate protection from the Merchant (even though she is already accompanied by, yanno, a DRAGON) but Gunther should just throw himself at his father’s mercy? A man who Jane has apparently lived in fear of her whole life, yet there is ZERO sympathy in this entire narrative towards his abused son who is DOING HIS BEST to save the entire kingdom and his own skin from his father’s schemes. Meanwhile Jane and Jester who are so set against him have been bouncing around in their own self-absorbed bubbles not looking to help anyone other than themselves, but they are our heroes? Please.
I will give you all the consideration of including a BIG SPOILER ALERT FOR THE NEXT (as yet unpublished) CHAPTER HERE if you have somehow managed to avoid it despite the author spreading it around everywhere YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:
Someone is apparently going to die in the next chapter and I have truly begun to hope that it is Gunther, for his sake. Free him from this mess.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day Two – early night
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen – A Terrible Truth
Jane and Jester find Robert in the catacombs under the castle. Once again Jane is finding ways to blame herself for Robert’s actions, so that whole dynamic is as healthy as ever.
Oh and now he’s dumbing things down for her. Yep, didn’t miss this.
Robert is reading the dragon book, which he found hidden in the wall above the sarcophagus, so he is absolved of grave robbing. You know, the coffin of the king who was cremated.
Jester is a dimwit who is suddenly won over to Robert because Robert is into books. Here’s a thought, maybe Jester and Robert should elope and leave Jane in peace?
They settle in for a cosy reading sesh instead of searching for what’shername? The princess? Because Robert and Jester both convince Jane it’s the right thing to do. Even though Jester was literally just complaining about Jane’s tendency to prioritise the quest for dragon knowledge above all else.
The book contains a total rewrite of canon dragon lore. Dragon runes are now a human invention, not a dragon one. Dragon isn’t going to learn any secrets from his ancestors even if he does successfully translate the full alphabet. So that’s been a colossal waste of his and Jane’s time.
Dragons are all biologically female, which apparently makes it okay for Jane, Jester and Robert to alter Dragon’s pronouns and discuss his genitals, despite the fact that Dragon himself has clearly established that he identifies as male. If this is the great LGBT+ twist MB promised, then… ick.
Dragonblades are the concept of an ancient order of dragon priests. They must follow their dragon around and wait for the day when they die laying an egg and cut them open to retrieve said egg. Not the usual method for saving an egg-bound animal, but sure. Because of this duty they must not have any friends, family or romantic partners. Sounds exactly like the kind of dumb rule a bunch of self-appointed priests would come up with.
Jane, Jester and Robert are apparently taking all of this as a law which must be followed, even though it plainly is not. Jester is crying again.
They stash the book and head topside to the castle gardens, because Jane AND Robert both felt a gut-reaction to Jane’s sword being used to summon Dragon.
They reach ground level in time to see Lavinia hop on board Dragon and the Queen “wails in anguish”. Her daughter can’t go for a ride on a dragon the entire castle knows/loves/trusts because it’s too dangerous! She must become the child bride of a total stranger instead, ‘tis the only way to keep her safe.
Thoughts:
Jester’s presence does nothing to stem the grossness that seeps out of Robert when Jane is around him. They are three intensely selfish people.
Jester and Robert seem to like each other, I suppose because they are both such impossibly wonderful and perfect guys, there was no avoiding it. ‘Ship name Jesbert? Robster?
Even when discussing the terrible odds of survival that dragons have, Jester slips in a belittling comment about Gunther, so mark that off your bingo card.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day two – evening
Time Jester has spent crying since the start of the novel: one hour + a few minutes
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen – A Tight Squeeze
Jane is freaking out over what calamity she has brought down upon the castle by bringing Robert there and Jester is trying make the conversation about “them”. Ugh. Jane tells Jester to go spy on Robert in the Library, basically. Ooh, is this novel finally going to get exciting with the introduction of some “Clue” elements? It was Jester, in the Library, with the dumbwait--- you know what, forget it. Jester is gasping and wheezing as he trails around after Jane due to being unfit.
Jane is going to tell Theodore that Robert has escaped. Jester is going to spy on him. So neither of them are going in search of Lavinia? Lucky she has Gunther looking out for her or the kid would be doomed.
Lavinia is hiding (in plain sight, frankly) and listening. When the coast is clear she makes her way up to Jane’s room, where she steals her sword. Nothing like the privacy of your own room eh, Jane?
Jester is trying to use the dumbwaiter in the kitchen to sneak his way into the library, and Pepper is opposed to the idea because she thinks he’s acting out of jealousy towards Robert despite Jester clearly and concisely spelling the situation out to her. It’s an awful, awful scene. Not one woman in this book is allowed to be intelligent and logical. Eventually Jester convinces her to let him go but she remains Robert’s number one champion.
Robert is in the library, Jester spies on him, Robert finds something and Jester gives himself away due to a leg cramp. Robert helps him with his cramp and then disappears while Jester uncramps his leg. Yep. The acrobat was undone by a leg cramp.
Then Jane appears and Jester tells her what happened, she finds the same clue that Robert did, Jester cramps again, and then they both go in pursuit of Lavinia Robert. Priorities.
Thoughts:
Why is Jester, whose job is highly acrobatic, so out of shape? So lacking in flexibility? So easily brought undone by a simple leg cramp?
What is WRONG with Pepper?! How many times does she have to have the truth about Robert spelled out for her before she stops replying with “well I think he’s nice/handsome/kind and you’re just jealous/in love/in denial”? She’s met him once! She’s known Jane and Jester and Co. for most of her life! She’s supposed to be Jane’s emotionally intelligent female friend!
Wow, the book is hidden with the dead king, that’s definitely not something I figured out in 0.2 seconds. The fact that a cremated king has need of a sarcophagus absolutely shouldn’t have been a clue to anyone. Because it’s totally logical to think that a king who valued knowledge so highly and spent much of his life working on this one book would want that book burned. Who could have guessed?
Time passed since start of novel: Day two, evening
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Fifteen
Look, I’ll be honest. My patience for this novel is fast running out, but my fury at the total bastardisation of these characters is seemingly endless.
Chapter Fifteen – Two Go Missing
The conversation between Jane, Theodore, Jester and the Royals continues. The Queen is done very dirty as both a mentor and a mother. Frankly she comes across as an awful person.
She wants Lavinia married off for terrible reasons. The King does not. Cuthbert informs them both that he and Lavinia have already decided who they will marry. He plans to marry Jane (?!?!!!) and Lavinia plans to marry Dragon (?!?!?!?!!!!!) His parents are amused.
Eventually they notice that their daughter is missing and ask where she is. Upon hearing that she was in the loft in the stable, Jester freaks out about her possibly hearing his conversation with Gunther and takes off in search of her.
We circle back to the coconut, alas. Rake has decided the “pig egg” might be dead and Pepper should crack it open and cook it.
Jester loops Rake in somewhat on the situation even though he was super cagey with Smithy (Smithy would be my choice of confidant, personally) and suggests that Gunther’s scheme will have dire consequences for the entire castle which makes no sense but let’s move on. Rake says if the Princess is annoyed at Gunther she will want to confront him directly, so Jester goes to search for him. Instead he is met by Jane (and tells her he must speak with her privately), then Theodore, then Smithy. Jane is disgruntled that Lavinia is an inconvenience when she has important dragon business going on. Theodore tells her she’ll find Lavinia before the Queen stops “championing” Jane. Umm, I don’t think you know what that word means, Theo. Jester ‘lightly’ suggests that Lavinia is looking for Gunther so they should stake him out “like a goat” to lure the Princess. Theodore loves it, of course, because it’s a way of denigrating Gunther.
Jane and Jester head to the dungeon to find Gunther but stop in the stairs for a DnM. They catch each other up and Jane gets straight into blaming Gunther and insulting his intelligence, willfully misinterpreting his motives, the usual.
Then they head into the dungeon where Gunther, Ivon, Haroldus and the Dungeon Master are all passed out on the floor, apparently drunk off their faces. This, despite Gunther only very recently being sent down there to guard them and told not to drink.
Oh and Robert has escaped. Cue panic.
Thoughts:
On what planet is the Queen now a wolf sizing Jane up like prey? And are we truly, honestly expected to believe that the reason she wants to sell her 10 year old daughter off in marriage -against the wishes of the King no less!- is to get her away from Jane’s influence? REALLY? Her 10-year-old baby child should be removed from the safety of her home and taken to a strange place to be married to a total stranger who she was made to “chose for herself” from a portrait so the end result of the match can be blamed on her, even if he’s an arrogant teen or adult, and even if he decides to claim his “marital rights” from said TEN-YEAR-OLD because somehow that is better than having her around Jane? But hey, I’m sure those portraits are all completely accurate and haven’t been adjusted to flatter the subjects. And there’s definitely no way that some might have been painted a decade or so ago, right? She straight up calls it “the exchange of our daughter’s happiness for the security of our kingdom” and WANTS that.
And don’t get me started on Cuthbert wanting to marry Jane. Apparently there’s a club you can join, kid.
Why is Jester willing to tell Rake what’s up but being super cagey around Smithy? I hope it’s not because Rake hasn’t expressed a romantic interest in Jane.
Jester implying that Gunther is somehow a direct and immediate threat to Lavinia if he realises that she overheard their conversation is just… such a clear lack of understanding of who Gunther is as a person. Which to be fair applies to this entire novel. The author’s disdain for Gunther is being projected from every other character. Theodore taking delight at the idea of tying him out in the yard like a goat as bait for Lavinia is a clear example of that. There is no other character he would think of in this way. Anyone else would simply be asked to come and help by standing near the fountain.
How is Gunther being treacherous by trying to prevent his father from literally committing treason? Now that Jane and Jester know what Magnus has planned but don’t seem inclined to tell anyone or do anything about it, and in fact want to stop Gunther from preventing it, they are actually the ones committing treason. How is Gunther the bad guy here?
I think I’m starting to understand why this whole castle is so completely unhinged with zero chill. Obviously their dungeon master come wine maker has been producing 98% proof wine. How can Gunther go from standing sober to blacked out in the time it took for Jane to have a brief chat with the royal family and then with Jester? Why are two of the knights of Kippernium so incompetent and stupid that Toothy Rope-Hair can just pour his wine away while they drink themselves senseless in about 30 minutes?
And why is it only now that Jane is acknowledging that Robert is a total stranger with unknown motives who probably shouldn’t be at the castle?
Time passed since start of novel: Day Two - evening at last descends
Characters who have a romantic interest in Jane: Jester, Gunther, Robert, CUTHBERT
Characters hinted at having a romantic interest in Jane (or her in them): Smithy, Haroldus
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Seven
Chapter Six
This is all still just my opinion.
Chapter Seven – Lion or Lamb
Robert appears from within the cave. He apologises for the deception but he wanted to take Jane’s measure (by hitting on her in a pub?) Jane estimates he is around 10 years older than her, so we will go with 26 unless we are told differently.
Jane says she should have broken his leg after all, and that she knew he wasn’t a forester because of a bunch of little details that weren’t revealed to the reader back in the scene when they might actually have piqued our interest.
Jane quotes Theodore. This is something that started in the previous chapter, each time she thought strategically, she credited that thought to Theodore. It’s… interesting.
Robert is held in place at the tip of Jane’s sword as she questions him, but he doesn’t seem at all concerned. He rode through the night and climbed the mountain in order to reach the cave before Jane. This seems like a tenuous plan on his part. What if she and Dragon had decided to leave earlier?
They exchange words but it’s all just wasted breath. Jane wants to know who Robert really is and he’s not giving any straight answers. Jane asks him to unbutton his tunic to check for weapons and he takes the opportunity to flirt. Apparently he has a handsome smile and “a full set of very white teeth”. So he has a good dentist and likes teenage girls. I think we know enough about who he is, Jane.
Jane threatens to cut off a finger and Robert compliments her on her verbal sparring before proving that he is unarmed and promising he only wants to help Jane and ask her help in return. Jane rightly points out that they could have had this conversation in the tavern last night without all of the deception, and that she will continue to distrust him.
Robert wonders out loud how he will ever convince her to trust him. Well gosh mate, if only you hadn’t, I don’t know, LURED HER ALONE INTO A SECLUDED LOCATION AND SPRUNG YOUR PRESENCE UPON HER?!
More back-and-forth. Jane says she has an unhealthy distrust for sweet prose and pretty words. Sucks to be Jester, I guess. Then she insults Robert’s mother.
Jane produces another quote, but this one is credited to Jester. Who is apparently three times wiser than most men his age. Jester is (theoretically) 18, so that’s not saying much.
More talk of Robert’s mother, then the topic changes to his father, who he doesn’t really remember. But apparently Theodore and Haroldus both knew him.
Back at the castle, Jester sneaks away from the sleeping King, who he has been singing to for the last hour. Jester berates himself for not sneaking out earlier, like Jane would have done.
He reflects on his natural timidity as he makes his way to the kitchen to see if Jane has returned from her patrol, as he won’t be able to relax until she has (but he knew she was going to the mountains, not just on a normal patrol?)
Pepper has four kitchen staff she is managing, and Cuthbert is also there, making beautiful pastry flowers which he is very embarrassed about.
Pepper says Jane isn’t back yet so Jester goes in search of Lavinia to tutor. Cuthbert directs him to the stables, where she went to check on the coconut.
Jester waxes poetic about Rake’s predictable nature and Cuthbert call him out for talking “gong”.
Rake and Lavinia and Pig are bedded down in the stable, presumably the coconut is there somewhere but it isn’t actually mentioned.
Jester moves on (obviously the idea to do his duty tutoring Lavinia was short-lived) and plans to head to his favourite thinking spot, outside of the tavern where he can watch the action at the wharf. He passes through the stable doors, which acts as a posting board for the castle staff. Multiple generations of kings have encouraged literacy among the staff at the castle, which is actually a really nice detail to learn.
He has an idea and redirects to the knights’ quarters, where he’s not technically supposed to be. Theodore doesn’t usually mind but a few of the other guards do. Will we ever meet these guards, I wonder?
Those who were on night watch are all asleep inside, and Jester doesn’t know what to do. He wants to go in and check the pin board they keep inside, in case Jane has left a message to say she has returned (BUT HE KNOWS WHERE SHE WAS GOING??) Jester musters his courage and goes in.
The knights sleep/stay in the quarters when they are rostered on duty, although they might have homes and families in the village or like Ivon apparently does, have a room at the tavern.
Jester makes his way towards the notice board, where he is caught in his snooping by Gunther.
Gunther startles him, but arrests his fall and steadies him before giving him the information he’s searching for, that Jane has not left word of her return. Gunther calls Jester his friend, says he is worried about Jane and suspicious of Haroldus too, and then spots a different report on the board.
They learn that Haroldus’s vessel is anchored in Sweetwater Bay, when he supposedly left at dawn on his next adventure and should be far across the ocean by now. They begin to speculate when Ivon wakes up and catches them, telling them that Theodore has already left before telling them both to get lost.
Back to the mountains, where Jane is interrogating Robert. He tells her that his father, Haroldus and Theodore were colleagues in arms for many years. Robert is trying to lure her into the cave but Jane declines. He says the cave contains a secret she will want to see, and that he is testing her.
He brings up Dragon, mentioning Jane’s “pledge” to help him understand his history. He tells her that she doesn’t understand the “unspoken nature” of her pledge, and neither do Theodore or Haroldus, although along with Robert’s father they all know about it.
Jane starts to feel unwell, and says there is no pledge, just an understanding between her and Dragon. Robert keeps pressing as Jane gets sicker, telling her that she and Dragon are connected, even in their dreams. Jane starts staggering around, she tells Robert to stop but he continues. He tells her there is still time to sever the bond between Dragon and herself, and that it will hurt them but not kill them, yet. He tells her she is blind and ignorant to the true nature of the pledge. Robert keeps pressing that Jane should know, that she needs to know, that she would be stupid not to find out… the whole time telling her NOTHING but making her feel uncomfortable.
Jane continues to feel increasingly unsteady, and Robert moves towards her, claiming he intends to catch her if she falls, not embrace her. He says his path doesn’t allow for romance and neither does Jane’s, as Dragon would never share her affections???
Jane falls, and Robert takes her sword.
End chapter.
Overall impressions:
Oh yay. Robert.
Once again, sixteen-year-old Jane can’t interact with an adult man without the subject of romance between them coming up. It’s becoming a disturbing trend at this stage. Pro tip, if you’re an adult man and you want a girl to trust you so that you can impart some (unspecified) information to her, maybe don’t lure her into an isolated location on her own, try to coax her into a cave, and talk at her making her increasingly uncomfortable and ignoring her stated boundaries until you can take advantage of her becoming physically incapacitated. A straightforward conversation in a safe place for her would save you both a lot of time.
Also, test her? For what? She is a SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD FEMALE KNIGHT WHO RIDES A DRAGON. What more do you need?!
I don’t even know what to say about Jane never being able to have romance in her life because Dragon won’t share her affections. WTF?
Jester. You spoke to Jane a few hours ago. You knew she was going into the Rust Mountains and not just on a normal patrol. You watched her leave. You know she won’t be back yet. And if she was back yet, why do you think the entirety of the castle staff would know about it while you don’t? You aren’t behaving rationally. Take a deep breath.
Look at Gunther, that monster. Being kind to Jester and helping him gather information. Despicable!
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day two, still morning
Times a man is credited for Jane’s knowledge: 2
Mentions of Robert’s teeth: 1
Uses of the word gong: 2
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Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Five
Chapter Four
The views expressed in this synopsis/analysis/review/whatever it is are entirely my own, and as a long-standing Gunther fan who sometimes struggles with change they are neither perfect nor unbiased. I will do my best however to be fair.
Chapter Five: The Three Sisters
It’s the next morning, and Jane is dressed in leather scale armour for patrol and carries her dragonblade. Her outfit was commissioned by Theodore and presented to her by the King when she joined the Royal Guard. Her hair is loose and tied back from her face because Jane is Not Like Other Girls, and would rather her mother be accused of beating her than wear braids PINNED BACK AGAINST HER HEAD, which IS an actual, practical option.
Jane heads to her tower roof, where Jester is waiting for her, despite drinking heavily with Smithy the night before. She insists she is just going on morning patrol but Jester isn’t buying it and she admits she’s taking a detour to the Rust Mountains. She is twisting Theodore’s words from the night before into something resembling approval. Jester asks if she trusts Haroldus and Jane neither trusts nor distrusts him. Jester is her dearest friend and the only one who supported her when she first wanted to be a knight, which I guess we are being reminded of by way of an explanation as to why she is giving him the time of day?
Dragon is coming to get Jane and Jester asks how he knows to come. Jane doesn’t know, and says she just has to think about it and Dragon will know. Sounds healthy. Dragon’s theory is that they are usually thinking along the same lines and draw the same conclusions.
Dragon fumbles his landing and crashes into the courtyard and Jane goes down to him.
Jester stays on the tower roof and frets over Jane’s safety, as he apparently does each time she goes on patrol. Ah, young love. Even the previous night had been unsettling for him because she “put herself in harm’s way”, which is an interesting about face from his attitude at the time. Despite Jane having Dragon, who is, you know, A DRAGON, to keep her safe, Jester feels he isn’t focused enough. I’d argue that Dragon’s field of focus becomes very narrow when Jane is in danger, but I guess he’s not allowed to relax in her presence at all?
Jester watches Jane and Dragon take off and until they vanish out of sight, then heads to the kitchen to nurse his hangover from the night before –providing he can dodge Lavinia on the way.
Jane asks Dragon how he knew she wanted him to come and get her, evidently sharing Jester’s question. Dragon dreamed that she was calling him, and then chastises her for rudely creeping up in his dreams. He also has a vague idea of where they are going, which Jane isn’t surprised by as apparently they have exchanged dream-info many times before. Dragon also dreamed that Cuthbert told him they were going to Rust Mountain to stick a pin (dragonblade) into a butterfly. Is this foreshadowing or just Dragon confusing actual dreams with his dream memos from Jane?
They make a stop at Three Sister’s Farm before heading to the mountains, as they have requested help from the King. It’s not urgent, but Jane likes their food.
Back at the castle, Jester was waylaid by Lavinia after all, and has been giving her a history lesson on Boudica. They both head to the kitchen so he can finally have breakfast. Pepper, Rake and Smithy are all gathered around the coconut, still trying to solve the riddle of what it is. Pig enters the kitchen, which is against Pepper’s rules, but her presence gives Rake an idea, and he decides that the coconut is a pig egg. Smithy, who grew up on a pig farm, isn’t amused. He also seems to be speaking as much as anyone else, just as an aside. Rake takes the coconut to the stables to build it a nest, which Pepper finds endearing, and Smithy… does not.
Jane and Dragon land a safe distance from the farm’s livestock, near a pile of turnips. Local farmers have taken to growing more of Dragon’s favourite vegetables to buy his favour and protection. Jane tells him not to eat them until they are given permission by the farmers.
The three sisters are waiting for Jane when she walks to their house and are happy to see her. They have been waiting for help with their problem for a while. They are identical triplets, with the genuinely stupid names of Rennet, Curd and Whey. I don’t know what Rennet did to her mother in the process of being born, but being named after the lining of a freshly slaughtered newborn baby animal’s stomach seems unnecessarily cruel.
Jane is invited in for breakfast and the turnips are indeed intended for Dragon, who is already helping himself. Grilled cheese on toast and apple juice are on the menu for the humans. The sisters explain their problem to Jane; bats have moved into their cheese curing cave. They are the bats that were evicted from the Wizard’s tower at the castle.
There are lots of bats and they are pooping everywhere, so “gong” returns. Jane suggests that the bats could be moved into a section of Dragon’s cave, but only if Dragon agrees.
End chapter.
Overall impressions: Eh, not much actually happens is this chapter outside of people eating breakfast. We are given a little insight into Jester’s thoughts around Jane’s career choice, which doesn’t really jive with his behaviour thus far. The stuff about Jane and Dragon exchanging information through their dreams is an interesting twist, hopefully it will be explained as the novel progresses.
The three sisters could be interesting characters, although we aren’t given many specifics about them (age, appearance, etc.) except that they have a mischievous streak and multiple suitors (and earlier Dragon guesses that the problem they needed help with was that they were all fighting over the one suitor). They are referred to as ‘girls’ at one point so might be quite young? Their parents, although it’s mentioned that they possibly can’t tell their identical daughters apart, aren’t present. The main thing of note about them is that they are the first new female characters seen “on screen” as it were. Unless you count the Tavern owner’s plank carrying wife, which I don’t.
As an aside, we’ve had very little descriptions of any of the characters’ appearances. If it wasn’t for the TV series we’d have no idea what most of them look like at all.
Dragon taking vegetable tributes from farmers in exchange for his favour/protection is an unsurprising development, but seems like it could also get messy if someone ever does need his help and Dragon fails to come through.
Time passed since the start of the novel: Day two, morning
Uses of the word gong: 2
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