#edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

I had a mini talk with Kuya Mike yesterday. It’s a casual one leaping from work to opening experiences to one another. It made me ease and dump all thoughts I had in my busy mind.

He first asked how was I doing for weeks both in professional and personal aspects. I admitted that I have difficult times as the system’s changed as we started of 2018. I also shared my frustrations with him like how I can start a basic conversation as I am having a hard time doing that, and he gave me tips. I also shared what I would like to achieve as a person, for instance, participating a statistical training which will be lead by PSRTI. He offered me to go to training and in return, I will be sharing what I have learned to my colleagues. It’s like basically tutoring, but we at the company called it cross-learning collaboration. I quivered as self-doubts pull me back.

First off, I told him the training’s too pricey. He didn’t care as he smiled at me and told me that he has plans for me. He also added that Miss Kat has plans for me as well, and it made me nervous and challenged even more. As I thought of it in bed, I worried leaving my work behind for the training. Like, I would always go half day as I attend the training. I worried about my team especially in research aspects. Half of me says, “Pursue it cos you will miss the opportunity if you keep hiding in your shell.” Further, I worried I may not disseminate what I learned to my colleagues clearly. I am aware that most of them hate statistics stuff but is essential in research. The challenge is how will I get them into learning stat stuff when I am aware that they hate it, what would be the easier way to teach them?

But, despite all of my what-ifs bothering my disorganized mind, I am already weighting my decisions and might give it a try. It’s for my growth anyways.

#edlabuhay #01182018

[edlabuchorva]

It was the first Saturday of 2018 and I was nervous how it would turned out - whether my parents would say "yes" for my trip which I lied about (I told them I was with my officemates rather than my boyfriend and his officepals since they knew I broke up with him; anyway, it was a long story), how will his officemates react if they saw me, what will I be doing together with them, and the worrywart's list went on. I was so close of getting a "no" from my parents as I was bitten by our office dog the day before the trip, and even suggested that I should rest but I insisted to go. Hey! It's Calaguas and I haven't gone in Bicol region, plus it would be my first trip with my beloved so I really don't want to miss the opportunity. Further, the payment was not refundable (I think).

Worrying about the dog bite which I got cured and vaccinated was the least priority as I was worried of not arriving on time and missing the trip. I was running late and had to go to my dorm to arrange my clothes I should be bringing for the trip. Tummy rumbled but did not bother. He kept me posted of who was arriving.

As I was miles closer and closer to MOA where our meeting place was, heart went up and down that I even froze the moment I was about to turn right to Starbucks. They were waiting in front it, he was with his officemates. I was this shy, awkward girl approaching them with only one liners coming out from my mouth the moment he introduced me to them. I did not know how to act as I was introduced by him as his "friend" so I should act one. We had little talks before we departed while buying some meds for the trip, and planned that we should not be touchy or whatsoever that may lead to the idea that I am his girlfriend (or was I the only one thinking that I should be normal friendly with him cos he said he did not mind?).

Fast forward to the trip, we were at the left back seat. His hands went to places like embracing me with one arm and holding my hand while inside the van. I was worried that his officemates might saw the thing but he did not mind and told me it was okay. I remembered I slept on his shoulders which I was bothered about!

We arrived at Calaguas island at 10 AM with a two-hour boat ride from the main land. The waves were harsh as we got splashed and soaked nth times. We even saw two rainbows that left us inspired that it would be a good day for swimming and tanning. His two girl-officemates showed some skin but I didn't, though he was looking forward to it as I was conscious of my flaws (my summer bod ain't ready yet, haha!).

We had alcohol after lunch and played a card game wherein we had to take shots depending on the cards we picked. We had plenty and were dizzy after the game. We played another game that would make us even dizzier like caterpillar, and "salok-tubig" using our body parts without squeezing clothes.

Our actions also became intense as we spent the day at the island. We were always close to each other, he took glances at me (not just ordinary ones). We were holding hands in almost everywhere we went. I even hugged his leg as I snoozed off due to fatigue and alcohol while he was playing the guitar on his feet at night, which did not end the "scandal" from there. He even let me lay down on his thigh while he and his officemates chugged another bottle of Emperador! From how we acted that day, I knew that our affection to one another was evident to their eyes in which he did not deny it (I did not know if he confirmed it as he only laughed all the teasing off).

We shared his tent together, his pillow and blanket - and it was my first time ever to share a single tent with a guy. He even hugged me while sleeping. Silly little me became bothered again of what his officemates would be thinking, but he did not mind and told me again it was okay.

Morning before we departed from the island, we collected shells and rocks while having some conversation. It went from random stuff, our plans with each other, and to romantic but "bolero" stuff. I told him that his officemates were thinking weird stuff about us as I heard them at 3AM. For the nth time, he told me he did not mind and instead was grateful that he spent time with me and had our another first's. He apprised that it was the first time he brought his girlfriend at the beach without the presence of his family. I couldn't help it but smile upon hearing it and complimented him "bolero".

I became less and less conscious of my actions as I just enjoyed the scene. It was also a missed opportunity for me as I did not communicate well with his officemates to cope up with my social awkwardness. I did not get to ask Demos, his officemate who is also a freelance voice actor, about voice acting and stuff as I let my shyness shone away. However, it was a fun experience as I de-stress myself while listening to the ocean waves and be one with nature. Further, spending the day (more than 24 hours actually) with him though I borrowed him often from his officemates was an accomplishment for us as we only spent half days or less together.

I am looking forward to more adventures like this. Hope I could travel more this 2018!

#edlabuhay #01162018

[edlabuchorva]

#2017Highlights

It's that time of the year wherein I do my annual year highlights. Before I list down what happened this year, I officially proclaimed 2017 as my year for growth as I learned lots this year. I can't deny the fact that it has been good to me. Though there were some punchings that brought me to tears, those were necessary to make me stronger. Thank you, 2017, your memories will never be forgotten as you are my friend. [curtsies]

And since there were only couple of minutes left, I am now listing down my ultimate throwback list for the year 2017:

Thesis days. Those scratchy sleepless nights preparing for thesis defense, the "Andyan na ba si [insert name of thesis adviser/technical critic]?" questions that we often hear down the hall just to get the papers signed, those kaba-kaba moments whenever we stand in front of our panel to present our paper... I just can't enumerate other details as there were too many! But as we made our paper, I've learned to be patient of my output (cos most of the time, I don't have that spirit). Having an award as we presented our paper at our college's student research forum was a plus, but I guess that was God's way of saying, "you wouldn't know that your research will effect people, here's a recognition for you." Sweet!

Graduation. Say goodbye to those (unsure) grad-waiting sayings as I graduated this year, baby! Actually, I was unsure if I would be able to graduate in May this year, but with the encouragement my batchmates and loved ones gave as well as a little push from my department's faculty, I did it on time. I remembered I was late on my graduation day that I thought of extending a semester (kasi may sabi-sabi na kapag 'di nakapagprusisyon, 'matic hindi na gagraduate). I did the walk and finally got my dream diploma. <3

Job hunting. After graduation day, my mind went "Ano na magiging trabaho mo, bes?" I even re-evaluated myself a couple of times if I was fitted for the job. Most of my applications were failures as I did not hear from the company of what happened to my applications. I got some job offers though, however, I did not like the job description once I learned about them until I finally got one that was and is still challenging for me, haha!

The RA job. So I got one after four months of patiently waiting and praying prior to my graduation rites. And the job I got is challenging for both professional and personal growth as the company I got in seeks greater heights. Actually, I was still bothered of how did I actually get this job as I knew I did not do well on my presentation round (there were three rounds: the interview, the exam, and the research presentation, that is, if you were applying for a research analyst position). But I'm glad I'm still at the company and am hoping that I would last.

Tiwala camp/Welcoming party. A month after I got in, a welcoming party was waiting for us during our Tiwala camp in Real, Quezon Province (we did not know we were heading in QP until the day we departed) and everyone was wasted. Our security guards went wild at the pool while chuggling on wine and hard drinks, some were singing half-awake due to the alcohol's influence, and there were things that cannot be unseen nor unheard but should be buried within the company's premises. Though our welcoming performance was a total face-palm, diverting from city to cool province scene was a sure way to de-stress our minds and souls.

Dorm life. Commuting from P'que City to Cavite for two to three hours a day sure was exhausting as week one turned to weeks three, four, turned to a month. I realized that commuting was fun, however, was consuming your energy until you got drained at work. So I insisted my parents to rent a bedspacer for me and it came true. Now, I'm having a roommate who's my ex-classmate from my ECON subject back in college (which was unexpected for us two), hope that we get along [fingers crossed].

The account switching. I have experienced two switches from October up to the recent one which happened last month. The first one was challenging as a former member of Account A as I did not get switch up, however, I felt the urge that I needed to step up and help Glenda (who was a semi-senior for Account A) teach newbies of how this account revolve. This gave me an opportunity to learn more about this account and got to (super) appreciate it. The second and recent one was I got switched to Account B. It was difficult at first cos there were lots of adjustments (till now, I guess) as I was accustomed to Account A. My team at this account were dependable that sometimes they even took some of my tasks whenever needed that I became frustrated of myself. This experience made me look for opportunities to earn techniques when doing research.

Halloween party 2017. Though my costume was a failure as I did not achieve my look in mind, the experience was totally worth it. I was supposed to look like a cracked doll but then time was up and I did not have someone to do my makeup, I did my makeup simple and went from failed cracked doll to someone in Victorian era. Glad I did not end up in chamber though haha! I guess the fun part was when we play games. That tagu-taguan ended up sparring scaring security guards for me as I searched the empty, dark office for clues (yep, that's how we do our hide-and-seek).

The talk. Honestly, I went from kilig to tears whenever I did this with him and I don't know why haha! The first one was with our TF: Acceptance as we had to share what we could not accept in life yet with our learning partner (and I was partnered with my crush!). I told mine first then the next thing I knew I was bursting into tears (hell, I looked ugly in front of him!). After, he told his stories then cheered me up. Thought that was the first and last until I got depressed and needed someone to talked to so I sought for his ears and advice, and cried again. This time, I thought I saw him wiping his side tear while hearing me out. Guess that was the first time I think I 'touched' him and it was an achievement for me as this was the first time I ever talked to someone I am crushing on.

Christmas lean team. Being the lean team means expecting less work, more chilling mode until requests and unexpected happenings came for the week. This was the time I went reliever mode for Account A originally on Tuesday and Thursday only, that it became from Tuesday until Saturday due to Hania's leave. I was handling two accounts then that I did not know what tasks from which accounts should I do first. It got tougher as I spent my Saturday shift with only Joshua, and only us two were at the office doing reports. I admitted we were 'sabaw' as we stayed on the morning of Christmas' Eve. I was happy that we got to finished all up before Christmas.

With this experiences this 2017, I hope 2018 will make me a lot stronger, wiser and braver that I could distinguish myself to the old one. Though I'm a bit nervous as I know 2018 will be a tough one for both professional and personal life, I hope I could make friends with it as I did with 2017.

Ending this list with bangs and cracks and hopes for a better life.

Happy 2018 in a bit! <3

#edlabuhay #12312017 #2017highlights #2017 year in review

[edlabuchorva]

Posting this raw barkada photos from grad pictorial cos I missed being a college student. I missed those 'pasukan na naman' moments cos by next week, pasukan na sa univ kung saan ako grumaduate. As for me, apply-apply ng trabaho at kung anong natutunan during student days (kung me natutunan hahaha char). I also missed talking to them about lovelife, green and math/stat jokes, study habits, and other sprinkles that makes life more interesting.

I miss you college life though it's been two months since I graduated.

#edlabuhay #08012017 #college

[edlabuchorva]

Hello, employment!

Finally! After three months of waiting and registering as tambay sa bahay following my graduation rites, those anxious days of applying for a job are now over. From the moment I got an interview, got invited for a series of examination, and have to deliver a presentation until got the job offer, I still can’t imagine that God has answered my prayers. I used to think that I’m unemployable — but maybe because it wasn’t my time yet to get a job that suits me well. Now I have it in my hands, I can’t wait till my first day though my feelings are mixed.

First was I feel excitement as I will meet the rest of the company’s personnel as well as my batchmates. I can’t wait to spend my (first) working life with them and learn lots that would gained points for a professional skill. I’m also thrilled to participate with the company’s activities be it in service for clients, team building or just de-stressing and having fun.

I also want to admit I’m pretty nervous due to roads I have to travel just to get in time at the company. There’s the non-ending (and sometimes unexpected) traffic at the metro. Alternative routes which I’m still unfamiliar with are also present. The area was new to me. The first time I traveled to Parañaque was for my initial interview. I have gone through it only thrice for application purposes (and near the company’s area) only so I could say I’m not pretty confident traveling to and fro Parañaque, but maybe as I spend my working hours there, I could get used to it eventually.

Working hours at the company is from 12pm to 9pm which is rare as most companies have working hours from 8am to 5pm. My mom worries my commuting hours as she expects me to be home at a late hour, plus all those negative news about killings worsens it. I insist her to rent a bedspace or dorm or an apartment for me so I could cancel those tiring travel hours to and fro the office from my schedule, however, still unamused. Her only reply was “Hindi ko alam yung lugar na yon” which made me worry more. I don’t have family members residing in Parañaque area as most of them lives in Cavite. Well, we do have cousins from my father’s side in Las Piñas; the problem is we’re not that close to them, and I’m also not familiar with the area. The only light I could see that my parents would approve of renting a bedspace is to have a dormmate who’s also my batchmate or officemate so their worries would lessen. If only the company would let its employees stay for the night(s) at the office — well, they do for those who are regulars, but I’m still in probationary status so it doesn’t apply for me. So I’m praying to God for a go signal to get a dorm near the office.

Another thing that I’m worrying about was my medical clearance. I’m still short for a requirement and I couldn’t get my medical clearance unless my UTI is out of the picture. I’m taking antibiotics the doctor has prescribed and will have my re-urinalysis this week. I’m hoping and praying that it would heal as I have a week to go to complete my requirements and prepare myself. Hope God gives answers to my worries and prayers.

#edlabuhay #08282017

[edlabuchorva]

I had an argument with him yesterday. He was frustrated why, most of the time, I don't communicate with him efficiently. We usually talk while strolling, sitting, eating or just doing our thing then, everything would stop in an instant with just silence consoling us two. I don't know why we seem "awkward" though we are in our nth-year relationship. It always ends to silence, always in the dead end.

So he confronted me with why's in his mind. "Why are you this way? Why, if we don't have any topics to talk about, do you just stare back at me and do/speak nothing? Don't answer me with your 'I don't know what to say' statement, I'm fed of it. I know you have some things you want to talk about." And that hit me. I bursted into tears simply because he was harsh and I was hurt. Honestly, I don't know what to respond or feel. No. I was confused with my emotions so I just cried. I just wanted to walk a way at that time and cry where he won't see me but he didn't let me. It also made me think that I am social anxious though I'm not sure if I am. He wooed me though he was depressed. I had this thought maybe he found me boring so our relationship tonight is going to end but it didn't anyway. He was sad because I wasn't an open book to him unlike his ex who chats all the way (Darn that ex, I think she's great than I am especially with people).

With all his why's and wooing, my answer was "I'm having a hard time catching up", though I haven't given much thought what I meant to that. But here's some of my theories:

Maybe it's a first to me that someone actually care (especially on a woman-man relationship level) since my ex-boyfriends were douchebags who only cared for themselves. When I was in a relationship with them, I did opened up but always got flushed away so I kept all I wanted to say to myself or put it into my diary so I could lessen burdens in my heart. Never would I have thought that it would affect my present.

Second is I am an introvert. I realized I am when I entered college since I was friendly back in high school and openly chatted about my life back then. Frankly, I found it hard being friends with my blockmates in engineering though I had them for a year (or two semesters). I couldn't detect what's the problem until fate made me shift to another program. As I grew to the BSAM program, I realized that you can't just openly tell your whole story to everyone since your words might be of use as a weapon to destroy you. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't talk much during my engineering days. That, until now, is what I believe which makes me unconciously distant to people.

After all I have experienced, I'm wishing I could go back to the old chatterbox me since I know establishing active relationships is fun. I am willing to expose myself with communicating others since communication is necessary everywhere. I'm also thinking of seeking/hiring a speech mentor (kahit no money, jeez) just to improve my communication skill. I really just want to get out of my comfort zone.

#07052017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

Supposedly inuman with batchmates who attended yesterday's post-graduation celebration which turned out into a spontaneous inuman dyan lang sa may kanto. Wooh! Balik-loob si aq0u3H sa alak. Never would've expected that I'll be yearning for more but since Ate Diana had enough liquor, we decided to go home (baka pagapang na umuwi kahit naka-isang pitcher lang kami). We talked about stuff specifically Nicko’s (ex-)crush and my life though he just asked me a simple question about my relationship. He asked me if how my relationship with my boyfriend is (if lokohan ba o seryosohan) since he mostly observed that I ain’t always on phone texting how my day went to my boyfriend. I was like, “Damn, he’s so observant” even though our friendship just sailed as of yesterday. Thanks to that, I’m into drama while riding a bus home about missing my boyfriend, how could and to whom would I open up my complicated relationship who isn’t going to judge me in any way (kase mabigat na po sa dibdib lol).

Bes, pwede ibuhos mo na ang beer sa aking lalamunan? Chos!

#05292017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

Some Chinese: Nee hao ma? (How are you?)

Me: Inihaw na

Behind the scene/idea:

Dios mio! Naistress akong mag-isip ng creative shot ko kase sa dalawang kaklase ko eh naka-gown sila at pang-debut ang theme samantalang sa isa jusko po pinakita niya ang kanyang ABS - A Big Stomach with some hairs. So napressure ako (di naman po sa patalbugan pero competitive kami char hahaha). Kala ko nga ilalabas ko na si Badong (my crossdress alter ego) at dahil nakakulot ako, edi hinayaan ko muna syang matulog. Dapat talaga magcocosplay ako kaso no budget si acq03H dahil daming gastos due to requirements sa clearance. Haaayyyy!! Buti nairaos naman yung pictorial (grabe init ng suot ko po kahit naka-aircon).

Naistress din ako sa katawan ko kase fitted baka lalabas na tiyan ko na parang buntis pero buti na lang besides curves sa harap, may curves pa ko sa sides at back. Yung nasa likod po nagdala (which is my bum) haha. Pati na rin sa mga poses! Gosh! Niloloko ako ni Mika na magsexy pose ako. I was like WTF photoshoot ba ng FHM ba itey? Una si Lloyd (yung ABS man) then ako?!?! HAHAHAHAHA NOOOOO WAY! Buti na lang nagsusuggest si koyang photoman at binigyan pa ko ng payong for photoshoot.

Thank God tapos na pictorial! I'm officially grad-waiting na! In-house na lang then graduation naaaaaaaaa.

#graduation teaser #05122017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

I dreamt of chum/RR two days ago which I just remembered this morning. In my dream, I received a text message from him saying, "Hi! Kumusta ka na? I miss you na" and I just smiled nostalgically (though I don't have his number in real life). I didn't feel any kilig like I usually do cos he’s my ex-crush now. It was a plain hello text from a friend which I smelled it would turn out as “Tara kita tayo somewhere” invite via SMS. Only inside my dream. But in reality, we’re far apart and I don’t know if he still remembers me despite being friends on Facebook (with no single conversation since I’m too shy to say hi first). But still, one of my dream goals is to see him in person even if we just bump to each other (literally, maybe on the shoulders). Kailan ba tayo magkikita huhuhu

#04152017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

That “Ayoko na” pero “Laban pa rin!”

Tang ina, ayoko na talaga ngunit heto ako, lumalaban pa rin. Kahit pagod na pagod na sa kahihintay, heto ako, nagtitiyaga at iniintindi ko na lang ang sitwasyon. Ano pa bang magagawa ko? Siyempre ako na lang mag-a-adjust. Lagi naman eh. Lagi naman ganyan.

Alam mo ba mga paghihirap tuwing inaasikaso kita? Tang ina, sana ramdam mo yun! Kahit puyat, kulang sa kain at tubig, kahit basang basa na sa pawis kakatakbo, ikaw pa rin ang iniisip ko. Bakit? Simple lang. Kasi mahalaga ka. 'Future' kita eh.

Sabe nina mama tiis-tiis baka may milagrong maganap. Araw-araw nananalangin at nangangarap ako na sana makisama ka naman lalo na kapag padapa na kong papunta sa'yo. Hindi mo ako 'babysitter' ni maski yaya para pahirapan mo ko ng ganyan. Akin ka, at ako'y sa'yo. Pagmamay-ari kita.

Tang ina!

Ayoko na talaga. Pero para sa'yo, o thesis ko, lahat ay gagawin ko para matapos ka lang. Bakasyon na bakasyon na 'ko. Makiramdam ka naman sana. Kung dati fighting spirit, ngayon ay fighting na lang, wala nang spirit.

#05092017 #rant #thesis #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

I feel jelly with all those graduation posts/photos my Facebook friends posted online. At the same time, I feel pressured as our sem's got a month before it finally ends. Para bang pinagmamadali akong grumaduate at magpasa ng univ requirements. Nakakaloka! My mom repeatedly asks questions like, “Sure ka bang gagraduate this May?” And I'm sitting here revising thesis while crying and screaming internally. I’m sacrificing all my time and sleep just to finish this research. I even started ditching other people because of this. Huhuhuhu Lord help.

P.S. Nagpost lang ng Tumblr update because sabaw na me kakarevise (kahapon pa!). =((((

#04222017 #thesis gaming #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

I started to jog at 6:30AM (which was registered to my routine lately) and it felt like 7AM already (thought it was still January). I did my warmups at home so I could jog early; I don't like preparations be done outside. There's this jogging site at a certain village (nearby ours) wherein joggers 'unite' and do their everyday routine. Most of the joggers are mid-age people and up. I don't know how many miles or kms it is but I can say it is bigger than our oval at school.

So I started to jog. Halfway on my exercise I saw a tall guy which seemed like he's on his 20's-30's from afar. I thought myself, 'is that the seaman I talked to from two weeks ago?' As we surpassed the curves of the road and jogged towards each other, I thought to myself again 'Wait! I knew that face. I saw him before somewhere.' And as we were about 10 steps away from each other his face suddenly registered to my brain. 'Ah! Robert. My first love's friend.'

I was hot and nervous, and I don't know why. Maybe I was nervous that he may greeted me, 'Hey! You're the girl who had a crush on [insert my first love's name] years ago, right?' I was nervous that he may humiliate me though I know he's not that kind of a person, but who knows he might got influenced by that devil?

Ah whatever! I couldn't care less now. I mean we're now in college, we're not kids anymore, we're matured now. And it was all in the past.

As I did my first round lap thoughts keep crawling my mind. 'Does he remember me? Is my face familiar to him? Does he know my name? Or am I nicknamed that girl who liked my friend back then by him?' Because I can still remember the way my first love humiliated me in front of his friends. He even let his friends read our convo after the prom in which I continuously confessed to him like I was drunk (I dunno they had a boys' overnight)! The horror ugh! Honestly, I wanted to cry but I kept laughing at my words as he showed our Facebook conversation to them. I wanted to vanished right away like a fart that day. And I could still remember that on that day I promised myself to unlove him cos it was no use. It's obvious he doesn't like me back and sees me only as a joke.

Anyways... As we passed through each other the second time around, I made nonverbal excuses not to make eye contact on him by focusing on the road I was jogging on, don't want to be tripped down. Right at that time my mind kept highlighting these words: it was all in the past. That I am now different from before as well as him. That he might not remember me anymore because who the hell would remember someone who is a stranger to him; and that I should let go and continue to face forward.

As I watch his back I felt motivated to jog and workout as a revenge to those who laugh at me lol. Kidding! Just wanna be active is all.

#02072017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

Our team leader called via office phone while I was doing a 9AM report. She asked me to check on a group post requested by our CEO with my crush's name tagged in it. Upon checking, she then asked me to get him to send the requested report (since he's been thru many accounts that he knows how to handle them, while I have only handled account A up to this moment).

I went to our sleeping quarters called Tent City (since it’s full of tents haha) searching for him. I lastly stumbled upon a tent fully zipped (doubting there was sleeping inside). When I unzipped it, I found him half-awake and was surprised of me. He thought I was some kind of ghost! And here's the catch, though lying down with bed hair, I cannot help but squeal internally. My heart skipped a beat that I want to shout it aloud. But remaining calm, I told him that our CEO needs a report to be sent by him. He then agreed.

After waking him up, I quickly returned to the floor with my OMG smile shining on my face. My mind kept on reminding me "Shet! Ang gwapo nya kahit kakagising lang huhu" til I returned to my own pace doing the 9AM report.

Minutes later, he went to the floor sipping his mug then asked me about the request. I showed him our CEO's post then went to his Mac to check on the report. While he was commenting to our CEO's post, our group chat kept on ringing. He gave me a thumbs up for a good job which was waking him up. He also told everyone of what happened -- he was shocked while I was unzipping his tent, thought it would be another horror story in our company. I laughed it off and told I did not mean to be a "ghost".

I asked him random questions after like who is his tent buddy since I was curious. He answered "Wala kong katabing lalaki kase ilang ako. Mas sanay akong katabi ko matulog ay babae," then I went kilig upon hearing his statement (internally, again). My mind would tell me "Sana makatabi mo ko sa pagtulog" but I did not tell him anyway because I know it would turned out awkward. Hahahaha. I would love to bug him questions to know him better but I could not think of any so I continued doing my daily task/report.

#edlabuhay #11122017

[edlabuchorva]

What’s Missing?

Had my research presentation last Friday. I was scared, nervous, and feeling uncomfortable. Maybe because I had this thought they were going to judge my whole character when I present my research. That research, by the way, was part of the application process. They’re testing the applicant’s skills when conducting a study since that company specializes in consulting and research.

As I thought, it didn’t go well. My research was a trash—incomplete, not cool, insert other words that would describe a thing without an essence. And I know what’s missing. It’s missing ‘love’—love from the researcher itself. Frankly I admit that I did the study to get hired, not to help people; just for myself, not for the society. I thought of doing it perfectly, so vainly to impress myself to the company since I had my best paper presenter award and I wanted to prove I can do better. I also thought of the time for a span of three days (they gave me my topic on Monday then had to present it on Friday) that I forgot what my thesis adviser used to told us: “Wag kayong magmadali (sa paggawa ng study), papangit ‘yan kapag hindi kayo mabusisi.”

Though I know my study was meaningless, it opened an opportunity to learn, and I’ll use their feedback as y stepping stone to improve myself. Now it’s up to the company if they’re going to hire me or not. God knows how I really wanted to be there, but if it’s His will then I don’t have a choice but to apply to other companies/institutions. Like the (broken) UP dream incident except skipping dramatic cries.

#edlabuhay #reflection #07242017

[edlabuchorva]

#THESIS it!: A Journey Towards the Peak of Research

We won as Best Thesis Presenter: Natural Science Category (first placer). Though it happened yesterday, it hasn't sunk much in mind that I thought I was imagining things. It was unexpectedly surreal. But God, we won! We slayed! Our hardwork has been fully paid off after all those sleepless nights, ditching meals, being anti-social (temporarily), complaints about how hard to conduct a research, and rants when the signatories (for routing slip and approval sheets) weren't around just to finish our research.

Now, let me tell you our story before there's success, there were failures and anxiety present.

DISCLAIMER: Habain po ang pasensya, mahaba po ang kwento.

I remember those days during the first semester when we (me and my partner, Seb) were still undecided of what topic to present that we had gone through all those theses at the univ library, college and department's reading rooms. We even had our tantrums since all of our classmates had already thought of a proposal while we were still searching for references. Then came up an idea suggested by yours truly about classifying Business Management students into their potential field of specialization when they reach Level III of the program based on their acad performance. I was just curious of how it (should) works so we decided of having it as our study. Those anxieties we felt as our proposal defense was approaching as well as passing our forms out to the higher ones (college research coordinator, department chair, college dean), hoping our thesis proposal would be approved were nerve-racking. Fortunately it has been approved but our adviser seemed not fond of our study (maybe she was too busy due to paperworks needed by the administrative since she already had a position as a director of i-dunno-which-one besides as a statistician and professor).

Came second semester and we were busy gathering data. We were running out of luck then since the University Registrar couldn't give us the data (which is grades of students) unless we have their permission (via signing out a letter). And we lately found out from the college where the BM program was in that there was a standard of classifying students into their specializations so our study was no use. We were stressed thinking of a new proposal while assuming we were not to graduate on time (by May 2017, specifically). We were about to give up then our co-advisees Rhona and Lloyd suggested and gave us data they had gathered from the Office of Student Affairs and Services (OSAS) due to formality (they already had their data from a thesis sixteen years ago which they were going to use for simulation purposes). So we prepared for another proposal (note: thesis proposal in the midst of second semester) which was about the likelihood of a student in getting qualified to an undergraduate program with licensure exam, at the same time, accomplishing research forms needed for proposal defense. The anxiety doubled, thinking of what if's (like "what if they ditch our study?", "what if we won't graduate on time? how are we going to say it to our parents?") as we defended our proposal for the second time around. Panels were shocked including our technical critic and department research coordinator since they had never expected a proposal defense in the midst of the sem. Our thesis adviser together with our STAT 70 instructor which was one of our panels during our defense then suggested that we revamp our study into likelihood of passing the licensure exam instead of likelihood of getting qualified for an undergraduate program with licensure exam (since a solution has been brought a long time ago). So we took their suggestions into improving our study (though they didn't require us to have our third proposal defense but was directly link to oral defense as soon as results were made) as well as gathering our data.

We gathered data for straight three weeks after we had our (second) proposal defense. We lurked around the University, visiting every department and college for delivering our request letters to them for the data. While on data gathering, insecurities arose since our classmates were defending their study with its results and had passed the obstacle. I even told Seb that "Tanggapin na kaya natin na Decemberian tayo, bes. Na di tayo makakagraduate ngayong May" and he quickly said "NO. Kaya natin 'to. Di tayo papayag, okay?" So I agreed then told myself while beseeching God for a miracle. Luckily, when April already said hi, the Department of Accountancy gave us the data we needed. Ma'am Vi, the department chair, even told us that the department would refer to our study as to assess their curriculum (including their annual comprehensive/qualifying exam held during summer of second year and passing rates in the CPA board exam) as the accreditation for BS Accountancy program was fast approaching (on June 2017). We gladly accepted it since we already confirmed that our study would be significant to the University.

With the help of our co-advisee Lloyd a.k.a. thesis consultant/groupmate kuno (maalam sya sa stat analysis especially multivariate na yung tipong tandang tanda nya lahat), we had created a model(s) needed for determining the likelihood of passing the CPA board examination. After we came up with satisfying results, we defended our study a day before the deadline for thesis defenses (I remember a miting de avance was held at the afternoon). Though it still needed some improvements it was then approved and for (major) revision. Our adviser entrusted me to revise our thesis completely for three days (sabe nya pa nga na, "Kayang kaya yan i-revise ng three days, basta wag lang matutulog") so I did (ng walang ligo + tulog + unting kain ng meals).

We eventually had our thesis manuscript checked from thesis adviser to technical critic to department research coordinator to department chair to English critic to college research coordinator to college dean for straight two weeks (while our other classmates who had their oral/final defense a month before the deadline for oral defense had their thesis manuscript checked for a month). Thanks for my 'perfectionism' there were minimum corrections which literally saved our butts from time on revising and printing as well as its costs. So after all the body pain we have been through just to have our thesis manuscript checked by all signatories in our routing slip (mala-amazing race po sya), ours was approved and was ready for binding.

A week after the deadline for submission of thesis manuscript to be checked by the college dean, Ma'am Lani, the department research coordinator, cited three paper presenters to prepare for the research forum from our program. Seb and I were shocked when we heard the news that we were one of those who were chosen to present. Of course, we didn't expect something like that would happen though we kind of attracted it as a joke just to save our butts from the re-defense thing if ever the panel didn't like or there was wrong from the results (which didn't happen, luckily). So we submitted our requirements needed for the student forum/in-house review a day before the event (though I was tempted by 'demons' a.k.a. by my classmates from the BSAM program especially Jazon that I should be relaxing and enjoying our grad-waiting days instead of doing a presentation for the in-house wherein we were uncertain if we could bring home the award). Though I have decided to submit it (Seb wasn't around since he's busy making plans with their family vacay in Japan and Korea so I decided myself), part of me says "Kakayanin mo ba? Baka mabulol ka habang nagpepresent. Baka mas maganda pa theses nila kaysa sa inyo" while half says "Okay lang na hindi manalo at least may experience, pandagdag sa resume." With those thoughts in mind, I forgot to review our thesis which made me more anxious that I couldn't get a nap at the jeepney ride to school for the big event.

Fast forward to the programme when it was BSAM's (which is us) turn in presenting our theses, Lloyd (Rhona was absent because she made a decision to boycott the programme) didn't make it to the 15-minute discussion (nasa results pa lang sya when time was up). It was my turn after his and as I stepped at the front, my heart was about to jump I even stuttered while doing the intro. As I was presenting the results and conclusions of our study, I became comfortable discussing at the front that I forgot about the time limit (nasa recommendations na ko when time was up for me). So I prayed for Anj and Val to made it on time and they did (baka dun bumase ng best thesis award). After presenting, we were asked by the panel of evaluators with simple questions though they made your brain blank. We smoothly answered but Val and Anj failed to satisfy the panel with their answer to Sir Orly's question which made me think of what if's and failures.

Fast forward to the awarding ceremony, Lloyd got third placer as best thesis presenter for natural science category (wherein theses under BS Biology and BS Applied Math compete for the title). Afterwards, a thesis from BS Biology was announced as second placer which was about the endemism of dragonflies and damselflies. I thought she was on the first place since her method of presenting was good, it was helpful to society as to raise awareness, and she made it to the 15-minute discussion. Never would I have thought that our names' were reserved for the first place that I didn't hear anything after I stepped in front for the handshake and pictorial with certificate. I was like "OMG! Nanalo kameeeeeee!!", my adviser and co-advisee were too. The whole program who had witnessed/caught the news were also like that. They even teased me "Uy libre ha? Nanalo ka/kayo!" (wala si Seb nun kaya hindi nila maasar).

Imagine if I had boycotted the event (kase nagpaplano na ko nun), BS Biology would have received the award for the nth time (mga defending champion mga yun). Hahahaha! But seriously, though we were about to give up as we conduct our research, we never thought that this was a blessing in disguise. So if you're experiencing hardships, do not worry as He guides you along towards the journey. Remember, the harder the struggle, the sweeter the triumph.

To God be the glory!

(I'll just leave a photo here for inspiration and faith)

#05182017 #edlabuhay

[edlabuchorva]

So here's our yesterday's adventure!

Mikee and I went to Cubao to apply for a job (though we're still grad-waiting and have requirements to be submitted before our rites) that was originally for Irish's and her slots. However, since Irish was already hired from a company Jansel is working, Mikee recommended me to be her companion.

As we arrived at the recruitment center of the company we're applying, a security guard came up and told us to go to the company's branch at Boni since they usually do recruiting on Saturdays. Dubious if the recruitment center at Boni was open on a Saturday, we decided to buy tickets for the scheduled championship game 2 of UAAP Season 79: DLSU vs. Ateneo at 4pm after we had our lunch (Mikee rooted for DLSU while I was in favor of ADMU). Then we took the risk by going and affirming to Boni.

As to save our wallets for two train fares, the company's RC at Boni was fortunately open. Upon arriving we promptly submitted our resumes to the HR then waited almost an hour to be called. So the HR did call us for creating and submiting our online application before taking the test. As we had complied our online application, we again waited for 30 minutes for the exam. The exam consisted of two parts, namely, logic and English with a total of 150 items (50 and 100 items each subject, respectively). After the exam, we again waited for 15 to 30 minutes for the results. While waiting Mikee and I were arguing and started bothering about the championship game. It was past 4pm then. We were anxious due to our tix (bes, naghihirap na nga dahil daming gastos sa school tapos masasayangan pa ng datung?! huhuhu) as well as if we were to catch up the game. We had no news what game set were they playing then we thought of calling Jaser (since I knew he loves watching volleyball). He said during the phone call that set 2 was about to start and agreed to keep us updated via text messages. Set 2 ended crazy for about 10 minutes so was set 3 which made us more anxious. Good thing one of the HRs agreed to have my interview be rescheduled (Mikee unfortunately didn't pass the exam so interview was impossible for her).

We ran onto the MRT station hoping that there's set five waiting for us. Though fate was testing us via stopping our train midway twice, we fortunately arrived Araneta Coliseum with set 4 still on play, DLSU leading it. I wasn't able to scream "Go Ateneo, One Big Fight!" since the audience we're in was full of DLSU Lady Spikers fans (baka naman anong gawin sakin, alam naman mga tao ngayon 'pag di sang-ayon sa opinyon nila) so I just prayed ADMU would win which didn't happen. DLSU won and my heart suddenly weeped. It was still a fun experience though Ateneo fell on 1st runner-up since watching a UAAP game live was a first to me (reminds me all of my sweat and knee-wobbling runs as I ran out of breath just to watch the game).

As the game ended, we went to the coliseum's parking lot just check out and took photos with varsity players, yet went home since it was already 7pm and we're famished. We took the train then dropped by Pasay. As we look for a place to eat, Mikee suggested that we walked from the station to Baclaran since we both had our buses way home from there. So we walked then stopped by a fastfood in Baclaran to eat then headed off.

Hope I could watch UAAP cheerdance competition live next time.

[NOTE: Props lang yung inflattables na hawak ko sa pic, #OBF pa rin!]

#05072017 #late upload: 05062017 #edlabuhay