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#enha angst
lcvclywon · 10 hours
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In another universe
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synopsis ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 You swore the next time you saw Sunghoon you would cuss him out and turn a cold shoulder. But when he suddenly appears at your apartment door one night, drunk and desperate, you find yourself faltering
now playing > •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 difficult - gracie abrams, anaheim -niki, hope ur okay - olivia rodrigo
warnings ˎˊ˗ cursing, crying, fighting, kissing, mentions of hoon being emotionally unavailable, mentions of breaking up, heavyyyy angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, mentions of children, open ending, use of the word masochist once, pet names
genre ⭑.ᐟ hurt to ??
pairings: non-idol ex!sunghoon x female reader
wc ᵎᵎ 1.28k
thoughts frm yuya 💭 fun fact this was actually based off a convo i had with my ex!!!!!! 😁😁😁 so! hit kinda close to home guys! anyways angst is actually so fun to write i won't even lie...
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You had just finished taking a shower when you heard a few gentle and quiet knocks coming from your door, barely audible but loud enough for you to hear them. Hand still intertwined in your wet hair in an attempt to dry it, you peered out the peephole to check who was disturbing you at this hour. 
Fuck. 
Out of all the people you didn’t want to see, Park Sunghoon was at the top of that list. Yet there he stood, eyes heavy and lidded, hair a mess, and gaze averted on the floor, yet you could tell his eyes were plagued with desperation. And even though you so badly wanted to ignore him standing out there hopelessly, a small part of you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had done that. 
Keeping the door ajar you squeezed your head between the gap, his eyes immediately darted to your own. Fuck, you shouldn’t have done this. You knew you shouldn’t have done this because the moment his eyes met yours you felt the all-so-familiar sense of longing overcoming your soul, the sense of longing you’d been trying to fight off for 6 months; all for it to come crashing down on you again. Well, there goes half a year's worth of healing. 
“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?” 
“YN, I uh- I didn’t think you’d open up…” shit. His breath reeked of alcohol, of course, the only time he’d come to see you would be when he was drunk. 
“Are you drunk Sunghoon?” your words lingered with bitterness as they left your tongue 
“Just- just a bit…can I come in?” his eyes were still pleading, and that accompanied by the shaking of his voice would’ve been enough to break you. But you refused to let him do that again. 
“Sunghoon you’re drunk you really should just go home-” your hands fumbled at the doorknob as you tried to gently shut the door, but Sunghoon was quicker than you it seemed. 
“Please,” his hand reaching towards your own, “I’ll be good.” fuck. 
You hated how easily you faltered under his words, his gaze, his touch. You hated it so badly, yet you allowed yourself to do so every. single. time.
Begrudgingly you opened the door fully to let him drunkenly stumble in, collapsing at the end of your bed. A scene all too familiar that haunted you in your sleep. You swore you would never let Sunghoon back into your life, that the next time you saw him you would spit insults in his face and stand your ground, yet with one touch of the wrist the defences you raised for yourself seemed to be built upon sand. 
Seating yourself at the edge of your bed you allowed yourself to gingerly run your fingers through his hair, you missed this. However, that was all the more reason why you shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be allowing yourself to hurt again, just at the expense of a few fleeting moments of serenity. 
“Why are you here drunk Sunghoon?” 
“I,” he propped himself up, allowing him to stare into your glossy eyes, “I don’t really know. I got kinda drunk and- fuck I couldn’t stop thinking about you love.”
Love, fuck you hated how naturally it rolled off his tongue. “Don’t call me that.” 
“Sorry…” he mumbled hazily, “Don’t you miss it though?”
You did. “No.”
“Well I do, I miss you YN. I miss all of this, your hugs, your voice, your touch, your anger. Fuck, I miss being scolded by you after drinking actually, it’s weird right, maybe I’m a masochist.” he said with a small grin
“Hoonie come on-” Hoonie, you didn’t even mean to say it yet the words seemed to come out of you like it was an instinct. 
“I missed that too,” he cut in as his hand slowly drew circles around your knuckles, “Shit YN I missed you so much” his eyes slowly started to well up with tears, a few threatening to drip down. You hated how your heart still held a soft spot for him, but you hated seeing him cry even more. 
“Hoon don’t cry.” your hands reached over to cup his face, fuck if this was all so wrong why did it feel so right. Like your hand belonged there. 
“YN- fuck,” now he really was crying “I really do love you.”
Do, present tense. “Just because you loved me doesn’t mean I felt loved by you” 
The memories you tried so hard to repress suddenly flooded all back to you, the arguments, the sleepless nights, the cold glares. The reason you broke up in the first place. You tried your hardest to forget that night, the shouts between you two that filled up your apartment, the way his words pierced through your heart like a spear, the way he walked out so easily. All to just walk back into your heart like he owned the place. Fuck he did own your heart though, he never stopped owning it. 
“I’m sorry YN. I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been better. I can be better. Please, I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. I won’t shut you out anymore, fuck I never should’ve. I just- please, I can’t keep living without you. I haven’t been living without you-” he was practically sobbing now. “Please YN, I mean it.”
You wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, seeming to not notice how your eyes were stinging with tears as well. “Hoonie I miss you too but, we can’t keep hurting each other like this. We aren’t good for each other” 
“We were good YN. It was so so good, I just fucked it up. Please give me a chance, I can be better.” 
Your brain told you to block out his words; and deny everything that was coming out of his mouth, but your heart seemed to overpower those commands. “It wasn’t just you Hoonie, I could’ve been better too-” 
“No you were perfect.” he blurted out cutting you off, “I never stopped loving you. Can’t we just, start over?” desperation was an understatement to describe him, god he was a pleading mess. 
You could practically hear your own heart-shattering. “I never stopped loving you either Hoonie. But you’re drunk right now, let’s just talk about this in the morning ‘kay?” 
“Okay but, can I please sleep here?” 
No, he shouldn’t. “Sure hoon”
Sunghoon made his way to the top of your bed, arm reaching out signalling you to come over. A signal you regretfully accepted. You nested yourself between his arms, breathing in his cologne while his chin rested on the top of your head. You hated this, fuck you hated how natural this felt. You hated how easily you could melt into his touch, his words, his scent. You hated how badly you loved it. 
“I love you, my YN” his breath slightly hitched before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 
You tried ignoring the lump in your throat but it was no use, the next words that came out of your mouth were swallowed with sniffles and quiet sobs “I love you too hoonie”
Maybe in another universe, you two could’ve talked everything out. Maybe you two could have reconciled and lived happily together again. Maybe the 4 years of dating didn’t disappear in one night. Maybe you two could’ve gotten married like he said. Maybe you lived in a nice 2-bedroom house in the countryside, dogs running around the yard whilst you both basked in the sunlight. Maybe you would have actually had the child you fantasised about. 
Maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon would’ve been there when you woke up the next morning.
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perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor
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dioll · 21 hours
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— luminous
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성훈 ・ reader g ・ angst + fluff cw ・ loneliness wc ・ 292 fiction house
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days of disappearance, being sealed in your room, heavy emotions lie within you. hidden away from the public eye with no given explanation.
every bit of emotion fades away,
yet the feeling of loneliness, lingered.
you worked hard for everything, especially your wealth.
having it all, yet having nothing.
distant memories of loved ones abandoning you, before your success.
you were left blank,
lack of emotional support seemed to dispose your feelings.
a black hole within you.
it’s 23:12.
you proceed to a skyscraper, it’s height bringing you closer to the beauty of the night sky.
change of scenery, just what you need.
stars aligning with the illuminating buildings.
the glow of moonlight dancing upon your skin.
the frosty wind tickling your hair against your face.
the emptiness remained.
distant footsteps getting closer.
the empty seat adjacent to you, now occupied by the soul you tried your hardest to avoid,
park sunghoon
you loved him to death, but you felt incapable of being loved.
you couldn’t accept the fact that he loved you more than anything and everything.
you felt like a burden to him.
feeling as if leaving without a trace would benefit him.
your brain going against your heart.
he looks at you with eyebrows crossed in concern.
the sudden wave of emotion fuelling your heart.
you couldn’t resist it.
he immediately holds you tight, collecting your tears.
his touch brings back warm memories and comfort.
his embrace is secure.
being with each other at your lowest points.
never wanting to let go.
the air is thick, still being held in his arms.
‘we can talk later, but i really need you right now’ your voice hazy, but comprehensible.
‘i’m right here, love. i’m not going anywhere without you.’
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haknom · 28 days
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WHO MADE HER CRY?! — PARK SUNGHOON
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SYNOPSIS — It was already hectic enough to cry on live, but having an ENHYPEN member accidentally tweet about it was even worse. What you don’t know was the fact, Park Sunghoon, the 4th eldest member, was a very big fan of you. And what he didn’t know was the fact you were also a very big fan of him. So, that explained why part of you was hoping the tweet was from him and him only.
PAIRING — idol!sunghoon x idol-fem!reader (ft. enhypen and aespa)
GENRES — short smau + written, idol au, fangirl x fanboy, fans to lovers (?), fluff, angst, crack.
WARNINGS — swearing, crying (well duh), miso from dreamnote as y/n’s faceclaim, more will be added!
UPDATES — ongoing! (updates are whenever)
NOTE — thought of this idea while eating a donut and staring off into space… LMFAOOO idk how it happens but enjoy this silly short smau !! ignore how i keep posting smaus i’m bored okay…
TAGLIST IS CLOSED!
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PROFILES & CHAPTERS
PHYSICS HATERS | YN4EVA
001. WHO MADE HER CRY 🤬🤬
002. BRO?
003. FINER THAN A MF 😍😍
004. FUCK YEAHHHHH
005. gagged him so bad
006. i’m disappearing bye.
007. Yall better watch.
008.
009.
MORE TO COME!
Ξ ©HAKNOM, 2024
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urszn · 27 days
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SUNGHOON BF TEXTS
♡ 。゚ idol!sunghoon x idol!fem reader
genre : fluff, comedy ( want more check pt.2 )
warnings : cursing and that literally it i think (lmk if there’s more)
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note: my first time doing these text thingys 😭 that’s crazyy anyways hi
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bywons · 24 days
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𖧷 HEARTSHAKER — LHS
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⌕ lee heeseung doesn't know what he wants from his rival, better marks or a kiss
pairing. student!lee heeseung x student!fem! reader wc. 1.4k tw/cw. jealousy, kissing genre. academic rivals to lovers, fluff, highschool au sru's note. requested for my nini love ♡ shitty title ik but i hope ya'll like cuz i dont T0T ( CATALOGUE?! )
¤ feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated! PLS REBLOG ♡
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96 out of 100.
thanks to the almighty above that lee heeseung is tired, the basketball jersey stuck to his back, sweat covering his face and colouring the red fabric darker as he pants for his breath, or else the test paper in his hands would have been crumpled and ripped to shreds.
not because of his number obviously.
“99, i knew i rocked this paper!”, a dulcet, familiar voice floats up to heeseung's ear from behind him, followed by a mean eye roll from him and his stance still. heeseung doesn't bother to turn around, not when he recognizes the infuriating feminine voice and already visualises the usual dark brown braids hanging by the either sides of her face, school tie too tight and almost reaching the last button of the shirt.
“why the long face?”, jake's interruption breaks heeseung out of his trance, as he takes the much unwanted seat beside him, “96 not enough for ‘ya?”
“oh shut up”, heeseung returns jake’s scoff slamming down his physics answer sheet against the wooden table. both heeseung and jake know it's not enough, whether it's a 96 or a 99 ’cause,
“it's never enough unless i cross y/n’s marks”, heeseung sighs, the answer sheet dampening under the pressure of his sweaty hands, as his forehead became the victim of the other.
everyone in the class is aware of the cutthroat competition and abhorrence between the two brunettes, already expecting the usual bickering episode between the two whenever it was time for exam results, and even if by chance someone got the same results as any one of them, they'd do their best and not bother the two.
but today is different, today heeseung doesn't find his usual energy to bicker with the braided girl sitting at the back of the class, not when she managed to beat him thrice in a row at his own game!
“last time it was a marks’ difference and now three? how is this even possible?”, heeseung groans while flipping the sheets over and over as if something magical would happen and increase his numbers.
“i heard park sunghoon's been studying chemistry with her,” jake sighs, pushing his fingers through his dark hair as he turns his head to the side, but his eyes steal a glance at heeseung, and he smirks, “‘ya know, the chemistry toppe—”
“yeah yeah i got you jake, i know who he is”, heeseung presses the bridge of his nose a bit too hard, the familiar face of the boy floating up to his vision, though he can't remember where his loved moles are on him. oh how all the girls are head over heels for park sunghoon.
is y/n one of them too? he could swear they're hanging out too much.
stupid thought, stupid stupid thought. heeseung winces at his sudden curiosity, why is giving this matter so much thought? he doesn't like y/n anyway, he doesn't like her bickering, he doesn't like her annoying attitude, he doesn't like her hair, he doesn't like her scent and he definitely doesn't like her smile. so lee heeseung shouldn't really get his head messed up in this.
the school bell rings, bringing out new tedious groans and sighs from the students as they dawdle to their next classes.
“i think she's coming here—”
“don't you have a physics class to be at, jake?”
“yeah yeah shoo me away all you want to”, jake scoffs, a smirk playing at his lips when he slings a bag on his shoulder before leaving the class, “bet you can't shoo away her.”
and before heeseung even knew it the class was empty, except him and as empty, dispersed out in the crowded hallways to their next classes. that is unless the previous dulcet but annoying voice came closer to heeseung.
“heeseung!”, you chirp, approaching him from behind, “how was your paper?”
“ugh what do you—”, heeseung's anger dies down when he turns around to face you, your hair's not done into braids today, instead it's let open with your tie loose this time, a few drops of sweat sticking to your forehead, dance practice maybe? “—w-want?”
“your marks of course,” you giggle at his stutter, taking a seat beside him, “wanna make sure if i beat you or nah.”
“yeah you did, but not on your own huh?”, heeseung scoffs, looking down at you. he realises his heart skips a beat when you tilt your head to the side, holding eye contact.
not good.
“huh? what do you mean heeseung?”, you pout, acting ever so confused by his accusation, “not on my own?”
“oh come on, the whole class knows it now”, heeseung rolls his eyes, “park sunghoon, rings any bell?”
“oh hoon?”, you grin, covering your mouth and suppressing a small giggle, “he did help me a lot with chemistry, he's so sweet!”
heeseung doesn't realise his face is getting hotter and redder by the minute, both by your presence and the pronunciation of somebody else's name. he has a nickname already? hoon? no way, you have only ever interacted with him, whether it was bickering or asking for notes or silently sitting beside each other. so how did this other guy pop up?
“hoon,” heeseung mumbles his nickname, his eyes searching for something in yours and he doesn't even notice he's sounding jealous, “how are you guys so close already…”
“well he's been tutoring me chemistry for a month now—”
“a month?!”, heeseung's brows lift up and his jaw hangs open.
heeseung doesn't know if he likes your new look, the way the curls of your hair rests on your shoulders, the way your tie is loose from your neck and the way your head tilts to look at his, heeseung's heart skips a beat and it knows something is wrong.
“why? is something—” your lips fall apart, a soft blush takes place on your cheeks and you giggle again, in a teasing tone you nudge heeseung's arm, “aww are you jealous?”
“what? don't be ridiculous now.”
“heeseung is jealous, you are jealous, you are jealous j-e-a-l-o-u-s”, you continue this song, nudging heeseung and teasing him more and more, causing his cheeks to heat up, eyes turning back to the open window and then back to yours.
“shut up y/n, you're not funny”, he scowls, the soft breeze enters the empty classrooms and hits the both of you like a refreshing wave.
and in that moment, through your teasing manner, the empty classroom, the echoes of your laughter and the soft breeze caressing your hair, your long dark hair that matched his and the way his heart skipped a beat, the way his heart always skipped a beat while you were around, he realises it's something good.
“if you shut up now i swear y/n”, heeseung tried and kept his best ‘angry at you’ acting.
“oh really? then why don't you make me?”, a soft chuckle leaves your lips and you squint your eyes.
it happens all so fast, heeseungs soft lips on yours, falling right into place. it tickles you a bit like feathers and pulls you in, until you realise that's his hand snaking around your waist. the kiss was delicate, caring and brought so much warmth from a person you only argued with.
you gasp for air, first one to pull back.
you meet his eyes, scurrying through yours and cheeks all red, probably embarrassed of what he did. the kiss quickly coloured your cheeks, a shy smile playing around your lips and a small glint in your eyes.
“i-i don't know what i did—”
“its okay heeseung”, you shush a nervous heeseung, the proximity increasing the pace of your hearts, “do you like me?”
“i love you”, heeseung answers almost instantly, “i love everything about you.”
“me too”, heeseung is the most relieved as he hears this, that hoon guy got nothing on him now. he's the winner.
“so, are we gonna date then?”, he chuckles.
you nod, “let's surprise the class together!”
lee heeseung doesn't know what he wanted when he got his answer sheets. better marks than y/n, a bickering episode with her, or maybe her to fall in love with her? he doesn't know.
a smirk falls upon his lips and he pulls you closer by your waist. he looked ever so magical and beautiful up close, that you wish the bickering had died down earlier.
“whatever you say, pretty girl”, he leans in for a second kiss, indulging himself more into you, he swears his heart will beat out of the chest as soon as his free hand makes contact with your dark strands of hair.
outside the class stands a grinning jake with a bored sunghoon, and a quite high five is shared between the two, carefully peeking inside.
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© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.
(📌) :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! @euncsace @ii-nu @leaderwon @dimplewonie @yrhome @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaa-sia @ashtxrie @kgneptun @lilacnini @haechansbbg @river-demon-slayer @in-somnias-world @teddywonss @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @mylstserenade @branchrkive @aishigrey @nctislifue @greyminyoon1 @ro-diaries @rikibun @sleepyxxhead @belowbun nets! @/k-labels
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ja3yun · 2 months
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Royal Sacrifice | S.JY
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prince!jake x maid!fem reader warnings: fluff, angst, smut (mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, heartbreak, my attempt to write posh-ish, anti-monarchy vibes throughout, mentions of violence, petnames (my love, sweetheart), not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.1k synopsis: your secret relationship with prince jaeyun is all you could have dreamed of, however, you're rudely awakened when your lover tells you some devastating news.
part 2 a/n: surprise! you're all sick of me i know, but i wanted to post this before it sat in my drafts too long and i overthought to the point of never posting it </3 i changed up my writing style a little to fit the aesthetic of it all and idk if it worked but enjoy anyway! also, this is for the people asking me to post more jake <3
"Tonight demands nothing short of perfection from each and every one of you. Not a single mishap or slip-up will be tolerated. Should I catch so much as a hair or button out of place, rest assured, I will personally request your head." The Chamberlain's voice, firm and commanding, spreads through the grand corridor, her gaze penetrating the maids and footmen.
As she paced back and forth, the bright torch cast a soft glow against the polished marble floors, illuminating the intricate patterns etched into its surface. Each uniform was meticulously inspected, and every seam and crease was subjected to intense scrutiny. The weight of the impending event hung heavy in the air, thick with anticipation.
Tonight, within the confines of the castle walls, the royals and social elite would congregate for the year's largest gala. It was an exhibit of greatness, with the chosen guests flaunting their rank and power.
For the last seven months, you have wandered the castle's hallways as an insignificant maid to the Royal family of Glengyre. Your hands were battered from hours of labour and your spirit dwindled to the hardships of the job, but you had to do it.
You weren’t exactly invited into the castle, in fact, you had snuck your way in through the war tunnels underneath and begged the head housekeeper, Miss Son, to place you on her team.
Being born into a working-class household, you were all too familiar with the misery of poverty. With your parents absent and your siblings relying on your meagre earnings from the bakery, you carried the burden of duty from an early age. Survival had been your main priority, with every move controlled by the never-ending search for food and security; this was the job you needed. 
Once you convinced Miss Son to give you a position, you were mindful to keep a low profile, sticking to your duties and never causing trouble. You dare not even breathe too loud next to the monarchy, each of them vicious and gruel in their own ways.
Yet amidst the icy family, there existed one beacon of warmth and compassion - Prince Jaeyun, the only heir to the throne.
He was the kindest man you had ever met, his values and ideals so drastically different from his fathers; all he ever wanted was peace and equality for the kingdom of Glengyre. His opinions echoed your own, his vision for the kingdom a testament to his noble character.
Everyone adored him, captivated by those puppy dog eyes and his wide, wholesome smile. Jaeyun had a magnetic charm that drew people to him effortlessly.
And yet, amidst the throngs of admirers, he reserved his heart only for you.
Jaeyun was familiar with all the staff, each face and name etched into his memory. So, when you suddenly appeared to clean the Library, he took immediate notice of you.
“I don’t believe we have met,” Jaeyun bows his head slightly to you, causing confusion to spread over your face. Men of his status shouldn’t be talking to you, let alone show you this level of respect, “Has The Chamberlain begun to hire new staff for that god-awful ball already?” he chuckles.
You’re transfixed by his question and his beauty, it’s not every day a Prince speaks to you, let alone so casually.
With this being your first job at such a level, you don’t know what to do. Typically, all maids get training and lessons on how to approach any member of the Royal Court, however, due to the nature of your employment, that part was skipped.
Jaeyun raises a brow, “Miss, are you alright? You look dreadfully pale,” he shows concern for you, even when he has no need to.
Quickly, you bow, “I am so sorry, Your Highness. I-I have been here for a while. Perhaps I have just blended into the background,” you offer as an explanation.
“A woman as beautiful as you could never blend in with this dreary decor” he smiles, holding out his hand, “Can I push you for your name?”
He waits expectantly, his palm outstretched as it waits for you to place your delicate hand into his. You didn’t need training to know you should never touch a member of the Royal Family, so you stay stagnant.
Noticing your apprehension, Jaeyun smiles and reaches his hand down to grab yours. You don’t want to say you felt a spark as soon as his hand graced yours but between you both, you could easily power up the castle generators.
He feels it too, the pull you had on him has been cemented by this moment, “I’m Prince Jaeyun,” leaning down he kisses your knuckles, maintaining eye contact with you as he does so.
The Prince is mesmerising.
“Y/N, Your Highness. My name is Y/N,” your voice is wavering as your body is shaken by his act. You aren’t scared of him, you’re just shocked by his kindness.
“Y/N…a name as breathtaking as its owner.”
Since that day, Jaeyun hasn’t left your side, his presence constant as he finds any excuse to be in the room you’re working in, his conversations tailored to draw out your thoughts and passions.
To him, your background was irrelevant; he saw the depth of your character and your mind's brilliance. Every exchange deepened his admiration for you, weaving an unbreakable bond between you both.
Secret notes and clandestine meetings became the norm, each encounter is a stolen moment of shared laughter and intimate conversation. Jaeyun was captivated by your wisdom and fascinated by your unique perspective on the world.
In your second month at the castle, on the moonlit balcony of his bed chambers, he kissed you, declaring his love for you in the same breath. From that moment on, he was not just a prince but your prince, devoted entirely to you.
The Chamberlain gives you all one final check before sending you out, her excitement palpable as she practically squeals, "Places everyone, this is a big night!"
As far as you and the rest of your team are concerned, tonight is just another ball, one hosted nearly every month. But The Chamberlain's demeanour suggests otherwise - someone vastly important must be attending. The air crackles with anticipation, and whispers ripple through the servant ranks, speculating on the identity of the esteemed guest.
As you all fall into line at the entrance, you wait for the party to begin.
The sight of everyone's extravagant gowns and suits is awe-inspiring. Each guest seems to sparkle, adorned in riches that could feed your family for years. It serves as a striking reminder of the kingdom's vast disparities. Meanwhile, the servants stand in their modest uniforms, hardly visible amid the sea of finery.
It irks you to know that these people, who all have some power in ruling your home, could not care less about the people within it.
“You two, come with me,” The Chamberlain beckons you and the girl beside you to follow her, snapping her fingers as she hurries you along to the kitchen.
With little instruction, she thrusts a tray full of champagne into your hands. “Once empty, you come right back. I do not want to see one moment where you are not serving some form of beverage. Understood?”
“Yes, Madam Chamberlain,” you both say in unison as you bow and make your way to the Great Hall. The palace is now teeming with people from all corners of the kingdom, the room resonating with laughter and chatter. You'd find it enjoyable if you deemed any of these people tolerable. Drinks disappear and reappear from your silver tray, and not a single word of gratitude is uttered.
Finally, the Royal family enters the hall, with the King standing strongly at the front and his Queen elegantly alongside him, their presence commanding attention as they survey the gathering with royal poise, looking for the most important person in the room beside themselves.
However, Jaeyun is not like the others. Amidst the pomp and its beauty, his sight is drawn to a person considerably less notable.
In an instant, his attention falls on you, a delicate smile gracing his lips as he lifts his brow in discrete acknowledgement, a silent greeting in a noisy environment. The difficulties of being in a secret relationship with someone so far above your social status weigh hard; even in the same area, being seen with Jaeyun is a luxury you cannot afford.
Excusing himself from his family, he greets people on his way over to you, captivating the whole room as he does so. To everyone else, he appears to be merely working the room, exchanging pleasantries with ease, but you, standing in quiet anticipation, know better.
In that moment, it's as if the entire hall fades away, leaving only you and Jaeyun in your own private world. He moves closer, each step filled with purpose, each smile and gesture meant only for you.
As he approaches, his every move exudes royalty. It’s impossible to deny that Jaeyun was born to be king.
"Can I take one of these to lighten your workload?” Jaeyun asks with a playful glint in his eyes, already reaching for a flute of champagne.
You dip your head in a respectful curtsy, mindful not to spill the drinks as you balance the tray precariously. Miss Son's strict instructions echo in your mind - no engaging with royalty at events, let your body speak for your tongue.
But sometimes, Jaeyun takes that directive too literally.
“Thank you, Y/N,” Jaeyun says, his voice low and intimate. You hear a collective sigh from some nearby girls, their attention momentarily diverted from their own conversations to admire the Prince and his effortless charm.
Walking to stand next to you, his arm brushes yours as he looks in the opposite direction to you, he whispers just loud enough for you to hear, “Should I tell them I’m happily taken or would you like to put them in their place after hours?” his tone is laced with playful mischief. 
“I would much rather occupy my time after hours with someone else,” you reply with a smirk, keeping your head facing forward to maintain composure.
You can't see it, but you feel the shift in Jaeyun's expression, a flicker of excitement, a hint of anticipation. His eyes dart briefly to yours, a silent exchange of mischief passing between you.
“Well, tell him he’s the luckiest man in the world,” Jaeyun responds, his voice tinged with amusement.
“Doesn’t he already know that?” you retort, a lively glint dancing in your eyes.
Jaeyun's hand lightly grazes your back, “Believe me, he will never forget,” he says wistfully as he turns away, seamlessly slipping back into his role of mingling with the guests. The lingering warmth of his touch leaves you breathless, your heart pounding with excitement at the thought that despite the separation now, he will be tangled in your body and soul later on.
The rowdy girls behind you giggle, their voices rising over the bustle of the hall as they discuss the Prince's past escapades with their cousins and sisters, whispering about how they hope they could spend just one night with him.
Jaeyun's reputation spread beyond the castle gates. He was renowned as a charming playboy, a Casanova whose dalliances sparked chatter across the kingdom. Every week, a new maiden appeared, talking about their alleged "hot affair" with the heir. It was enough to make anyone apprehensive, and you were no different. You maintained your guard up at first, rejecting his advances, refusing to become just another conquest in his succession of women.
But the more you spoke with him, as you shared moments and secrets in the quiet corners of the palace, you came to realise that the instant flurry of admiration you felt was not one-sided. Jaeyun's heart beats for you and you alone. 
You discovered in him a love that went beyond gossip and whispers, a love based on trust and understanding. With that realisation, your reservations vanished, replaced by a deep assurance that Jaeyun was yours, and you were his, now and forever - or for as long as you could keep this illicit affair going.
The bell sounds, its loud chime cutting through the murmurs and whispers of the gathered guests, signalling you and the others to proceed to the main door of the castle.
"May I please introduce King James and Queen Elizabeth of the Lethamhill Kingdom, and their daughter, Princess Mia," the Master of Ceremonies declares, his voice full of power.
The announcement strikes like a thunderbolt, bringing the audience to a profound silence. Nobody had expected the arrival of the Royals of Lethamhill and the astonishment is evident as you look around to see a sea of stunned faces. Whispers spread like wildfire across the crowd as each visitor grapples with the implications of this unexpected situation.
Lethamhill and Glengyre are currently involved in delicate discussions about the possible unification of the kingdoms, a topic of enormous political importance. According to what Jaeyun has told you, these conversations have been stressful, with no definite agreement reached so far. The presence of the Lethamhill Royals at this gathering signifies a historic point between the two kingdoms.
The struggle between the two kingdoms has caused irreparable destruction, including starvation, poverty, sickness, and a staggering loss of life. It would take something genuinely extraordinary for both parties to put aside their differences and work together in peace.
Your eyes meet Jaeyun’s across the room, and you can see the fury simmering beneath the surface of his composed facade at the sudden intrusion. Yet, even as anger flashes in his eyes, you can sense the weight of responsibility pressing down on him.
No one knows quite how to react to this unexpected turn of events, each guest grappling with their own thoughts and fears as they await the next move from the Lethamhills.
“Please, do not stop on our account, continue the festivities,” King James proclaims, his voice carrying a jovial tone, a vibrant smile gracing his features.
As the party continues and dinner is served, guests settle into their assigned seats, laughter and conversation filling the air as they merrily drink the castle dry. Surprisingly, the presence of the Lethamhill Royals doesn't disrupt the flow of the event, instead, it seems to enhance it. Many see this as a reconciliation party now, eagerly awaiting the announcement that could potentially solidify peace between the two kingdoms.
Your role for the evening is clear: shut up and stand to the side, only interacting if called upon. It's undoubtedly the most tedious part of the night. Being on your feet for hours on end, catering to the whims of the guests is exhausting enough but enduring the occasional push or intentional spillage of drinks on your uniform from some of the more unruly guests adds insult to injury. 
The other worst part of the evening was the sight of Princess Mia draped all over your lover, her hands roaming possessively over his chest and arms as if they were hers to claim. Each touch felt like a dagger to your heart, stirring a tumultuous mix of jealousy and hurt within you.
Jaeyun attempted to gently remove her, pushing her away with as much politeness as he could but she stubbornly refused to listen. Occasionally, his eyes would flicker to you with a sympathy, silently communicating his regret at the situation and how you must be feeling. He would never wish for you to be hurt.
Telepathically, you reassure him that it's okay, that you understand and trust him implicitly. After all, it's not his fault that another woman - a tall, beautiful, rich, and powerful woman at that - feels entitled to touch him. His efforts to remove himself from the situation already speak volumes, and you take some solace in his unwavering loyalty.
But despite your attempts to rationalise, the bitterness lingers, a bitter pill that's difficult to swallow.
Standing on the sidelines affords you the opportunity to observe the dynamics of the entire top table, not just Jaeyun. The Kings engage in whispered conversations and the Queens gossip amongst themselves. It's as if no blood had ever been shed between their kingdoms.
The casual camaraderie displayed by those responsible for the devastating conflicts between their kingdoms makes you sick to your stomach. How can they be so chummy, so nonchalant, when their irresponsible fighting has caused so much pain and suffering to countless lives? It's a reminder of the callousness of those in power, their indifference to the consequences of their actions leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.
Suddenly, you see your King rise and tap Jaeyun on the shoulder, ushering him into an undisclosed location. The urgency of the gesture sends a ripple of apprehension through you, and you can only presume that he is finally letting Jaeyun in on the reason for the Lethamhills' unexpected presence.
“Why do you suppose they are here, Y/N?” Heejin, the girl to your right, asks in a hushed breath, her voice tinged with concern.
“I can’t say for certain, but I fear it won’t be for the champagne and escalope,” you reply, turning to face her, your expression mirroring her worry.
And when Jaeyun re-enters the hall, you know that your apprehension was not unfounded. His face is devoid of the charismatic expression he had worn for most of the night. 
The king wears a stern expression, clearly unamused with whatever his son has to say in rebuttal to his conversation. 
Something is deeply wrong
You scream at him with your eyes, silently urging him to look at you, but he doesn't, his gaze fixed straight ahead. It's clear that whatever transpired in that conversation has deeply unsettled him, and you ache to know what happened.
“Excuse me, Miss Son, but may I please go to the lavatory?” you ask your head maid, hoping to slip away unnoticed. Her disdainful scoff is the only response, urging you to return quickly.
With a bow of gratitude, you glide towards the exit, silently willing Jaeyun to notice your movements and follow you. Your eyes briefly meet his, and he nods, understanding your need for a private conversation.
You arrive at your usual secret spot - the Council Chamber - a place where every decision is made and policies are signed. It's a room steeped in history and power, but also secrecy and intimacy. Old men come here to dictate the fate of the kingdom they supposedly love.
Jaeyun recommended this particular room as a defiant ‘fuck you’ against societal norms of hierarchy and privilege. It's ironic, considering he's made love to you on every surface of the place, turning his statement from metaphorical to literal.
Tracing your fingers over the spine of the old book laid on the desk, the door swings open suddenly, causing your heart to race with surprise. You quickly straighten up, trying to compose yourself as Jaeyun strides into the room.
“Did I frighten you, my love?” he asks softly, a hint of amusement in his voice as he approaches you.
You shake your head, “No, not at all,” you say trying to ease yourself, straightening your uniform and brushing the dust off your front. He always laughed when you tidied yourself for his presence, a habit when you’re faced with Royalty. You’re hardly unacquainted, the portraits hanging on the room walls can testify to that.
Finally reaching you, Jaeyun's hands find their way to your hips as he traps you between him and the oak desk. His eyes glance behind you to see what you were looking at, his chin resting on your shoulder.
“Ah, the old laws that have kept this country from falling apart. To be lived and breathed by,” Jaeyun's voice carries a mix of sarcasm and despair.
“Laws that keep the rich rich and the poor poor,” you respond bitterly, your thoughts drifting back to your family and friends struggling back home.
Jaeyun's hands move up to your back, offering a reassuring rub. “I hate it too, Y/N,” he admits, his heart heavy with the weight of his people's suffering under his father's rule. He hugs you tighter, a silent reassurance of his solidarity and commitment to change, commitment to you. 
Leaning back, he strokes your face adoringly with his middle finger, “You look so delicate tonight,” his voice conveying his love for you. Even dressed in rags, he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.
“More delicate than Princess Mia?” You don’t mean it to come across as bitter, yet, it does.
Jaeyun shakes his head disapprovingly, a tiny glint of amusement in his eyes, “My darling love, are you jealous?”
“She is ravishing,” you reply. Princess Mia is everything you are not, it wouldn’t be misplaced for you to be slightly envious of her. You know the Princess could have anyone she desires, and if circumstances were different in which Jaeyun wasn’t hopelessly in love with you, she could probably have him too. That information would unsettle any lover to know.
Jaeyun places a feather-light kiss on your forehead, “She doesn’t hold a flame to your light, Y/N,” he says with such genuine love that you might believe him if you weren’t clad in a spilt-on uniform and tired eyes that reflect the brutality of being a measly servant.
But Jaeyun would never see you that way.
His lips swoop down to yours, capturing you in a breathtaking kiss, planting his deal of assurance on your lips. The way his mouth is melting into your own is enough to make your knees lose their strength. Jaeyun’s thumb rubs your hips tenderly as he deepens the kiss, trying to make the taste of you last the rest of the night.
Pulling back for a breath, you recollect yourself, smiling at him happily but as you gaze into his eyes you see something sorrowful hiding behind him. It wasn’t until this moment you forgot why you even snuck away to see him in the first place.
“The King seemed displeased,” you state the obvious, hoping he will enlighten you somewhat to the reason for the private discussion.
“He is an idiot, nothing more,” he spits back, eyes avoiding yours as if he’s scared of you suddenly. You have never seen him so angry yet sullen.
Reaching your cold palm to his warm cheek, you begin to pry further, “Jaeyun-” 
Your query is cut short by his lips once again enveloping yours, the intensity of his kiss a silent plea for you to cease your questioning. It's unlike Jaeyun to keep secrets from you; usually, even the most classified information finds its way past his lips and into your ears. So naturally, his reluctance to share the details of his conversation with the King sets off alarm bells in your mind.
But as his touches grow more insistent, his lips trailing fiery kisses along your neck and his fingers daringly inching up your skirt, your thoughts become increasingly muddled. It's difficult to focus on anything other than the intoxicating sensation of his tongue against yours, the warmth of his body pressed against yours.
You hate that he won’t confide in you, that he's keeping you in the dark about something so significant. Yet, at this moment, you find yourself unable - and unwilling - to complain. Not when every touch, every caress, sends sparks of desire coursing through your veins.
“Jaeyun, I don’t have time,” you manage to groan out amidst a wave of pleasure, the urgency of the situation gnawing at the back of your mind. Miss Son could come looking for you at any moment, and you've already pushed your luck by leaving your duties unattended. There's simply no way you can disappear for long enough to satisfy Jaeyun's desires.
But he seems determined to ignore your protests, his fervour only intensifying as he continues to explore every inch of your body. In this stolen moment of passion, time seems to stand still, the outside world fading into insignificance as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of your forbidden.
With each caress, each whispered endearment, you feel yourself falling deeper under his spell, unable to resist the magnetic pull of his affection.
But as much as you crave the blissfulness of his embrace, a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminds you of the consequences of your actions. You can't afford to be caught in such a compromising position, not when the stakes are so high and the dangers so real. Just down the hallway is a room full of people who would kill either of you for this affair.
"Jaeyun, we can't," you finally manage to gasp out, your voice tinged with desperation as you push against his chest, trying to put some distance between you. "Someone could walk in at any moment."
For a fleeting moment, Jaeyun's passion seems to falter, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. But then, with a determined glint in his eyes, he pulls you closer, his lips claiming yours in a desperate kiss.
"I don't care," he whispers against your lips, his voice husky with desire. "I need you, Y/N. Now more than ever."
The tone of his voice dings your attention, it’s pleading and needy which would be normal if his words didn’t waver, lip quivering slightly. The conversation with his father had affected him more than you know, and he dared not confess what it was regarding.
With a sense of urgency in his veins, Jaeyun hoists you onto the desk, his hands promptly pushing your skirt up and yanking down your underwear, revealing your core to him in all its delicious glory. His breath stops in his throat at the sight, and his need for you becomes stronger than ever.
He licks his lips hungrily, wishing he could taste you, savouring the wetness that gleams between your thighs like morning dew. He wants to drink you in and lose himself in your folds.
But time is not on his side, he knows this, nonetheless, the throbbing between his thighs, the thumping want for release, is too strong to ignore. He was so desperate for you to suck in his cock with your heat, he didn’t think he had the restraint to wait for it any longer.
His need for you is mirrored in your face and body as you edge yourself closer to the end of the desk, spreading your legs as he undoes his ivory dress trousers and lets his shaft spring free of its constraint.
“Can I please?” he asks softly but with urgency, the tip of his member already primed to enter you, the question just a matter of formality at this point.
“Please, Jaeyun, have me,” you whisper into his mouth and with a low groan of need, Jaeyun surrenders to his instincts, his desire overwhelming as he slips inside you with effortless ease. No matter how many times he makes love to you, the sensation of being so intimately connected to you never fails to amaze him. It's as if you were made perfectly for each other, two souls destined to intertwine. He thanks God every day for bringing you to his side. 
His thrusts are pointed, to make this quick while also giving you both the release you desperately needed. Your tight pussy grasps every inch of him deliciously, accommodating his size yet giving him just enough resistance to squeeze the tip of his cock.
Gripping his shoulders tightly, you anchor yourself to him as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming more frantic with each passing moment. You moan loudly through your bitten lips, trying your hardest to stay quiet; he was pounding into you so good you just can’t help the noises leaving your mouth, completely rending you dumb to his touch.
The sound of your gasps and mewls fills the air, a symphony of pleasure that drives Jaeyun wild with desire. Each cry, each whimper, only serves to fuel his drive, pushing him further into the depths of ecstasy as he loses himself in the rhythm of your bodies moving together as one. 
Arching your back leaves the nape of your neck exposed, inviting Jaeyun to sink into it with his teeth, easily leaving a red mark. It’s the first time he has ever done something like this, to leave physical marks on your body that aren’t the bruises from his tight grip; those were easy to hide, but this one wouldn’t be.
“Ah, Jaeyun, what are you doing?” your bated breath whisps past his ear yet he doesn’t hear you, lost in the feeling of fucking you silly. He sucks and licks at the base of your throat, possessed by his need to claim you as his.
“My love,” he brings his face up to lock your eyes together once more, his cock hammering into you still with force, “Tell me you'll be mine forever," he begs, his words hanging in the air between you like an urgent vow. The intensity of his stare and the sheer emotion in his speech leave you breathless, your heart racing in your chest as you try to find the words to answer.
Tears fill his lashline, and his eyes are unexpectedly vulnerable. In that moment, you can see the depth of his love for you and also his sudden fear that he might lose you. The sudden change in emotion takes you by surprise, your Jaeyun who is usually confident and strong in moments like this is now yearning for confirmation of your love.
"Yes, Jaeyun," you say, your voice barely audible as you completely yield to him, "I'll be yours forever,” It’s a truthful answer, the only one who you can see yourself being with for the rest of your life, long or short, is him. Your Prince Jaeyun.
He shakes his head and screws his eyes shut, seemingly shaking his internal thoughts out of his brain to make way for your reassuring ones. “I can’t lose you, my love. I can’t…I won’t,” he rambles, the rhythm of his thrusts depleting, signifying that he’s close to the edge.
To distract him from his inner monologue, you cradle his face, kissing all over his lips and cheeks. If you can do one thing for him, it’s to instil in him the fact that you will always be his love, until death do you part.
“Y/N, my sweet love,” he whispers sadly, “Don’t let me go,” his plea is muffled by his lips kissing your palms. 
You have no idea what could cause this sudden cast of doubt in his mind.
Jaeyun’s right hand moves to your sensitive nub, circling it with his thumb as he tries to coax you to completion. His hips buck sloppily, overwhelmed with the raw emotion and need to cum inside of you. 
The bubbling heat between your tummy and pussy consumes you, the climax Jaeyun has worked so hard out of you finally spilling over his shaft and down yourself. Your legs shake violently as he continues to rub your clit in earnest. 
The way your body contracts and walls clench around him also sends him to the brink, his seed filling you up quickly, each spurt dripping down your canal and onto your inner garments. The Prince keeps himself stuffed inside you as he pants, unsure of when he will finally be done.
Resting his head on your shoulder, he breathes out softly, trying to calm his panting and heart rate down. He knows he shouldn’t have asked you to stay with him forever, to promise to love him for eternity, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed to hear it almost more than he needed to find his release. 
With a final kiss on your lips, he removes himself from you, retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket to catch the cum falling from you. While he does so, you can see his mind shouting so loud you could almost hear it, or maybe it was just because you are both so attuned to one another.
You have to find out what is happening and why he is acting so strangely.
As Jaeyun tucks himself back in and discards his handkerchief, you watch him closely, your heart heavy with concern. There's a weight in the air, a silent tension that hangs between you like a thick fog, and you can't help but feel the ache of his unspoken fears.
Jumping off the desk, you fix your underwear and approach him slowly, your movements deliberate as you reach out to straighten his jacket. Your touch is gentle, “Please, Jaeyun,” you implore softly, your voice barely a whisper as you search his eyes for answers, "Let me in. What are your worries?"
But Jaeyun remains silent, his gaze averted as he avoids your questioning eyes. You can see the pain etched into every line of his face, the fear and uncertainty that threaten to consume him whole. And yet, he can't bring himself to speak the words that weigh so heavily on his soul, scared that if he does. It’ll all be too real.
You can sense his hesitation, his reluctance to confront the truth that lies buried deep within him. But you refuse to give up, determined to stand by his side no matter what challenges may come your way.
Gently, you place a hand on his cheek, guiding his gaze to meet yours as you speak from the depths of your heart. "Jaeyun," you whisper, your voice filled with love and understanding. "You don't have to face this alone. Whatever it is, we'll face it together. I promise."
“That’s just the thing, Y/N,” he begins, voice trembling, “the King has put me in a predicament I cannot get out of,” he leans into your touch, craving your comfort.
Tilting your head, you stroke your thumb over the flushed apple of his cheeks, “What are you talking about?” you ask nervously.
Swallowing the thickness of his turmoil, he speaks lowly, “He has arranged my marriage to Princess Mia of Lethamhill.”
As Jaeyun reveals the truth of his arranged marriage to Princess Mia of Lethamhill, a heavy silence descends upon the room. Your heart sinks at the revelation, a knot of pain and disappointment tightening in your chest. This isn't the news you wanted to hear, the realisation crashing down on you like a wave of icy water.
"Oh..." The word escapes your lips, your mind reeling with the implications of Jaeyun's confession. It's a bitter pill to swallow, the knowledge that your secret love is soon belong to another, bound by duty and obligation.
Retracting your hand from his face, you take a step back, the distance between you a painful reminder of the barriers between you. But before you can retreat any further, Jaeyun reaches out to stop you, his eyes pleading for your understanding.
“My beautiful girl, I told him no,” he implores desperately, hoping you don’t think that he didn’t fight against this preposterous idea, “How could I ever marry her when my true love is already by my side?”
His words offer you a sense of relief, however, you know the King wouldn’t let him away with a simple ‘no’ in regards to this marriage, “I surmise he did not take it well?” 
"Of course, he didn't," Jaeyun's voice is bitter and cold, his body tensing as he recalls the conversation with his father. "If I do not marry her, the proposed treaty between our kingdoms will be broken, and there will be conflict."
He was the glue to bond the kingdoms, it was all on him to marry this woman he didn’t know in the name of unification. He is being used as a pawn in this game of power and manipulation and it makes you wonder whether Princess Mia is also going through the same distress, although, with how she was groping Jaeyun earlier, you doubt it.
“A conflict, you mean a war?” you dare ask.
He nods shallowly, remorse etched in his features, “And our King has made it perfectly clear that I will be on the front line.”
Your heart shatters into a million pieces, the pain of it like a dagger to your chest. How could the King do this to Jaeyun, to offer him up as a sacrificial lamb in a game of politics and manipulation? It's cruel, it's unjust, and it's utterly heartbreaking.
"Your father cannot do that," you say slowly, your mind reeling with the enormity of the situation. "It's... it's unthinkable."
But Jaeyun shakes his head, his expression filled with bitterness and resentment. "That man is no father of mine," he declares, his voice filled with anger and defiance.
Opposite to his anger is your sadness, eyes leaking salty tears at the thought of losing your love. No matter the choice Jaeyun makes, he will never be yours. That is something you should have known from the beginning of your relationship.
You and him can never live in love or peace, it will always end in heartache and loss.
The Prince sees your sobs and pulls you in, circling his arms around you tightly, “My love, please don’t shed tears, I hate to see you cry like this.” he mutters into your hair, kissing the crown of your head gently. 
But how could you not cry? You’ve just in this instant lost the love of your life. 
The room is so silent all you can hear is the raucous laughter and music echoing from the grand hall. It gives you the opportunity to think about how the war would pause all laughter for every citizen of Glengyre, how the only sound you will hear is guns and screams of those desperately seeking escape and safety. You cannot allow that to happen.
“Marry her.”
“Excuse me?” Jaeyun pulls away, disgusted that you would even dream of proposing such an idea. He was yours and only yours, he wouldn’t even dream of lying with another.
You know that you must make him see reason, that there may be no other choice if you are to prevent the looming catastrophe that threatens to tear your world apart.
"It is the only noble thing to do, Jaeyun," you insist, your voice trembling with emotion, "We cannot allow our love to stand in the way of peace, of saving those people from the horrors of war. If marrying Princess Mia is what it takes to prevent bloodshed, then it is a sacrifice we must make.”
He doesn’t register your words, only hearing his heartbreak at the thought of you not being by his side, “But I will lose you, it will be impossible to be together if I marry her,” he begs you with his eyes to change your mind.
“You will lose me either way, Jaeyun,” you release yourself from his grasp, taking a step back to create the inevitable distance that is about to become your reality, “The people of this kingdom need you, Jaeyun. You are the only one that can make a difference to those less fortunate,” you begin, your eyes locked onto him as you portray the seriousness of your words, “If you go to war then there is a certainty you will die and you are no use to the cause of change if you are dead.”
The words get stuck in your throat, the idea of uttering such horror makes you feel sick to your stomach but the lives of hundreds must take priority over your love, no matter how painful.
"But-" he begins, his voice tinged with desperation.
"You cannot be selfish, Jaeyun," you interrupt firmly, your gaze unwavering as you meet his eyes. "I couldn't look at you the same if you sacrificed the welfare of our people for the sake of our love."
The truth of your words lands heavily between you, a painful reminder of the sacrifices that must be made in the name of duty and honour. And though your heart may ache with the prospect of losing him, you know that it is a sacrifice you must be willing to make.
Jaeyun ponders your words, recognising that you are correct: his people are his primary concern. He wishes he could do more to keep your relationship alive, to make you his Queen. As he stands before you, staring at you with loving eyes, he wishes you were the ruler of Glengyre, for your qualities and ideals already shine as if you are.
Suddenly, the bellow of your name echoes the castle halls, Miss Son shouting erratically to find you. It brings Jaeyun to realise that his fantasies of you being his queen are just that - fantasies.
Clasping your face in his big hands, he shakes his head, signifying his defiance to the idea but succumbing to his duties, accepting this fate, “I will always love you, and I will do everything in my power to make it back to you. Even if it’s in another lifetime,” he whispers the words onto your face, sealing them with a final kiss, his tongue now craving to remember you for a lifetime, rather than just a night.
You curtly nod, trying to bottle the emotions you are feeling, scared that if even one drop overflows, you will take back everything you have just said, sacrificing the people you love for the man you love. You could never win in this situation, and neither could Jaeyun.
“I love you too, my sweetheart,” you confess for the last time.
Miss Son’s footprints are right outside the door, putting your own feet into action as you leave Jaeyun to return to your post as a maid, the delusions that you could ever be with Jaeyun for a lifetime are crumbling away with each patter of your feet on the marble floor.
“Ah, there you are! What on earth are you doing in the Council Chamber?” she shouts at you while still being mindful of the guests only a hallway away. 
You bow, offering no explanation and slip back into your role, smoothing yourself down to seem presentable. The togetherness of your exterior is the complete opposite of the shattering of your interior, your heart shattered in fragments as you stand back, overlooking the people you made an eternal sacrifice for. And none of them would ever care. The promise you made to love Jaeyun forever is the only peace of your heart left in place.
Jaeyun comes back into the hall a few moments later, poised and stoic, the only change in his face is when he looks at his father with an angry glare and a nod to follow, much to the delight of the King.
Abruptly, the King stands, “Ladies and Gentlemen, my esteemed guests. I have some exciting news to share!”
1K notes · View notes
letters2won · 1 month
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10 Things I hate about you
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SYNOPSIS ౨ৎ Lee Heeseung has it all, he’s captain of the soccer team, popular, charming and hilarious (at least in his eyes). What he doesn’t have though is a girlfriend OR a prom date making him desperate. You on the other hand want nothing to do with him or his silly problems, but how come you two are always clashing heads in the end?
PAIRING: soccer player!heeseung x photographer!fem reader
GENRE and TROPES: smau & written, enemies to lovers, highschool au, fluff, possible angst
FEATURING: enhypen, chuu, gaon (xdinary heroes), gyuvin (zb1), beomgyu (txt)
STATUS: upcoming (will release in April)
TAGLIST: open! send an ask or comment to be added!
A/N ౨ৎ rewatched 10 things i hate about you again and now we’re here 🤕 This movie is so heeseung coded im actually sick to my stomach!! Anyways let’s pray i make this one a little longer 🙏
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PROFILES: REAL alpha males | hamilton fans (derogatory)
CHAPTERS (title may change)
01 on my bucket list
02 jakelations
03 YOU WONT BREAK MY SOUL!
04 chivalry is REAL
05 not very dattebayo of you..
06 tba
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981 notes · View notes
pshcomforts · 1 month
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➳ afterglow | psh. — requested
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non!idolsunghoon x olderfem!reader (feat. mark from nct)
“tell me this love is worth the fight”
synopsis: you forgot a special celebration with sunghoon, leading you guys to argue.
warnings/content: written in third pov. angst to fluff! slightly suggestive at the end (but nothing happens). age gap! (sunghoon’s 21, and reader’s 23). cursing! not proofread. sunghoon doubts himself :(
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 3.5k
a/n: message request.
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: afterglow by taylor swift
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:28 ───────|──────────── -2:14
tick. tick. tick.
the clock ran faster within each minute y/n glanced back at it.
a sigh left her throat as she focused back onto her computer — typing in data to keep the files updated.
the girl worked an office job in her early twenties. it wasn’t as ideal, but for a paid internship, she had to take it.
months had passed since she started the job, and whispers of a promising position had been hinted each day she walked in.
and since then, y/n’s attempted to keep her score of being a trusting employee on a streak by staying past office hours.
she was a workaholic, if you will.
but who could blame her? the pay was good, and the work was her field of interest.
however, today was not one of those days she was willing to stay late for.
it couldn’t.
today marked her 1000 day anniversary with her boyfriend, park sunghoon.
her lovely, patient boyfriend who was younger than her by two years. the boy was in his early twenties, barely getting the hang of life with college.
a few significant dates had already been missed with the internship in the way, so she couldn’t possibly miss this one.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a quick buzz formed in y/n’s pockets, allowing her to take a swift glance at her phone.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ 1000 day celebration with hoonie ੈ♡˳ ࿐ྂ
she groaned out a sigh as she felt a sudden pressure weigh in at her heart.
“just a little longer,” her voice mumbled before staring down at the time.
[ 4:37pm ] — it beamed.
just a few hours left and she’d soon be in sunghoon’s forgiving arms.
“hey y/n,” a deep voice called out to her, snapping the girl out of her guilt-eating thoughts.
she turned to her superior, mark, who was wearing a friendly smile.
“yeah?” she tried to sound cheerful.
“i know you get off soon, but with your hard work noticed, i was wondering if you could help out with a little more paper work?” he uttered with puppy eyes. “it’s just.. the way you file and organize suits how i usually go in on it. would it be okay?”
y/n froze in her tracks, conflicted with her options — leave work as planned for the important date with sunghoon, or further impress the manager for a permanent job.
“it wouldn’t take long, would it?” she chewed her cheek, lips almost bleeding with how much she awaited for an answer.
mark gave a light chuckle. “no, i wouldn’t make you stay too late, y/n. you always do that to yourself.”
the girl awkwardly laughed in return, murmuring empty words of how much effort she was willing to put in for the company before he left her with the paperwork.
her original plan of leaving early from such an exhausting shift had taken a pause as she huffed at the amount of files in front of her.
“shouldn’t take too long..,” she tried to
reassure under her breath.
in seconds, y/n dove into the piles of paperwork — attempting to finish on time.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 6:48pm ]
time was slipping through her fingers and the girl wasn’t even noticing it.
minutes passed within each time she glanced back at the clock, irking her to go quicker.
she had to finish on time, she just had to, at least before 9:30pm.
[ 8:21pm ]
coworkers around were now finishing their shift, leaving their cubicles to clock out for the night — leaving y/n with a few others.
“come on, i’m almost there.” she whispered to herself, sweat nearly dripping down her face with how much work she was powering through.
“good night, y/n!” — a few workers would beam to her, causing her to give a quick wave before going back to her job.
[ 9:18pm ]
the whole building was nearly abandoned now. the only remaining employees were mark, y/n, and about two more workaholics.
she was almost done. almost.
with such little time left, panic began to exude in the girl’s body.
“12 more minutes.. please,” she sighed.
a quick glance to the time was made before she decided to shut down every time displayed in front of her.
it was risky, but looking at the clock would only emit more anxiety to finish.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
soon enough, the filing job had run its course, and y/n was done.
“finally!” she beamed, stretching out every bone in her body.
her tired eyes glanced everywhere for the time before she realized her method of avoidance from earlier.
“did i make it..?” she questioned, but with every nervous breath she took, it was obvious she had no hope she did.
slowly, the girl lifted her phone to check the time.
[ 10:03pm ]
her fatigued body froze at the bright screen before feeling it defrost with a shiver to the spine.
she felt her breath get heavy as she searched for a message from sunghoon — just anything that may ease the guilty pressure on her heart.
but nothing.
no messages, no calls — nothing.
y/n bit her teeth together, clenching her jaw in regret.
sunghoon had been looking forward to their 1000 day celebration, and she failed him.
a shaky sigh left her throat as her hands fisted in shame.
“hey y/n,” a voice spoke from behind, causing her body to tense.
“oh, hey mark.” she murmured back, mind still flooded with sunghoon.
“you’re still here? i got your files, you’re good to go,” he responded. “by the way, i really appreciate your work here. i hope the ceo considers you here long term.”
y/n sighed in relief as a reply, body taking its final hit of exhaustion from sitting all day.
“you’re a great worker,” mark continued with a polite smile.
a few rewarding compliments remained to run through his mouth, allowing her to get a slight ego boost.
she beamed a smile towards him, truthfully forgetting about how much she had failed sunghoon.
“i hope to see more of this from you soon, y/n. we’re the last here so i gotta lock up.” her superior uttered to her.
the girl nodded her head before gathering her things and leaving for the boy to do as he said.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
the drive home from work was quiet.
y/n was worn out from the constant piles of paper work and to be quite frank, all she wanted was some peace and quiet.
the only thing that ran through her mind was how much mark had sweet talked to her about her work skills.
it was promising to hear all of that, and she couldn’t wait to tell it to her boyfriend — her boyfriend who waited hours for her.
but her energy was still wearing thin. every muscle movement she made in the car caused an aching bruise to form.
so when she arrived home, her hands slowly creaked the door open.
a sigh left her throat as she entered in.
everything was quiet and sunghoon couldn’t be found until she glanced to her left. the boy was sitting on the couch in silence, eyes lost in a daze and face blank with no expression presented.
then it hit her.
her blameworthy actions came back to guilt her once she found her person stiffly sitting down.
y/n took a gulp. she was the older one, but she knew how he was during arguments like these. she knew he was one to stay silent just to keep his emotions together.
“hoonie..?” the girl nervously mumbled, almost a whisper to his ears.
sunghoon only stood with a click to the tongue, jaw firmly clenching as he walked to the kitchen.
the atmosphere was quickly filled with tension in how much he ignored her.
“hoon?” she called out once more, only to get a slight glance back as a response.
the boy continued to gulp down some type of beverage, actively letting her presence go unnoticed.
y/n groaned in return, watching his petty efforts become the consequences of her own actions.
but truth be told, she was tired.
she was working all day, back to back with no break whatsoever and all she wanted was to get some sleep.
“sunghoon,” she sighed. “please, i’m sorry. i’m exhausted and work just kept pulling me back. my superior wanted me to file more before my shift ended and i-“
“work this and work that, that’s all we’re gonna talk about isn’t it?” hoon angrily spat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. the boy ignored the mention of mark with how pissed he was.
✩ ‘fighting with a true love’ ✩
all y/n could do was pause at his outburst.
“i’m sorry, sunghoon, i’m tired and-“
“and i was waiting for you all day to come home for our celebration.” he cut off once more, teeth biting down to mush away the heart aches.
✩ ‘is boxing with no gloves’ ✩
sunghoon finally turned after softly slamming the drink down onto the counter. his darkened eyes met hers, burning holes before quickly tearing up.
“i know..,” she bit her lips, shutting her eyes to avoid her heart breaking at his gaze. “i’m so sorry, sunghoon, i am. i just couldn’t leave, staying after hours just promised me a permanent position. please understand, this is what i’ve been working for.”
hoon scoffed. “are you in a relationship with me or your work?”
she exasperated a sigh before walking to the living room and slumping down on the couch. almost instantly, her body felt the soft, cushioned seats that welcomed her — allowing her to feel drained again.
“please, hoon, i’m tired-“
“that’s how our arguments always end, doesn’t it? you forget a date of ours, then you come home and you say you’re tired, then we’re fine the next day.” the male ridiculed, walking to the living room as well. “when is this gonna stop, y/n?”
“sunghoon..,”
“no, you’re saying you’re tired but i’m the tired one.”
y/n sighed as she sat up, body becoming depleted of energy. “i’m sorry but this internship is worth everything right now, and i’m doing so well with making an impression.”
“worth everything?” sunghoon reiterated with a shaky tone. “even our relationship?”
✩ ‘chemistry till it blows up, till there’s no us’ ✩
“what? no, hoon, that’s not what i meant.”
“is that what our relationship means to you?”
she looked up to his eyes that were inflamed with betrayal. “this job defines my future, sunghoon. this job is what i’ve always wanted, can’t you see that?” a hint of irritation was made present in her voice, showing that her sleep deprivation was irking her to be annoyed.
sunghoon sniffled, quickly wiping away a few tears so his girl wouldn’t feel troublesome. “i see that, y/n, i see it very clearly. i feel like i never see you anymore, in fact. you’re barely here.” his tone was firm, hinting that he was reflecting the energy back.
“this job is for our future too, sunghoon. i’m working to get a good position for financial stability.” y/n uttered, feeling her droopy eyes threaten to close. her mind quickly recalled back to their slight age gap as she felt the weigh of carrying it all on her shoulders.
“our future? you really think there’s gonna be a future with us when i never see you anymore?” the boy murmured, fists clenching with every word that left his mouth.
he hated what he was saying, but it was the truth.
however, her heart still dropped when she processed what he had uttered.
“you don’t think there’s a future with us..?” she took a particularly harsh gulp as tears finally streamed down her cheeks.
“you’re never here, y/n. how can there be a relationship if it’s only one person putting effort?” sunghoon responded, tears taking its fall for him as well.
the two stayed quiet.
no more raised voices and no more hushed words.
they both had reasons to be mad at each other, but they couldn’t see the others point.
y/n didn’t know what to say. her reasonings were being constantly repeated, but it seemed like it wasn’t going through his head — same with him.
“hoonie.., i’m sorry that i’m not there a lot but, i.. i’m just trying really hard to impress my superior and it’s-“
“your superior?” his soft voice squeaked. “mark..?”
the girl raised her head to peer up at him, only to find his thick brows slightly scrunched while his lips were molded into a frown.
“yes,” she sighed. “mark.”
“you stayed late on our 1000 day celebration with mark?” he uttered, voice weakening at the thought.
“yes, but mark’s just my superior. he has to be there when i work late.”
sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head with a low chuckle. no words could be formed with how much jealousy was seeping through him.
“sunghoon.”
he turned his body away from hers as a response, jaw tensing with every envy thought that she unintentionally spent their 1000 day celebration with mark.
“park sunghoon,” y/n firmly called, causing him to look at her. “you can not seriously be jealous right now.”
“jealous that he got to have time with you, and i didn’t? ridiculous.” he let a small puff of air slip by his lips before gazing back at her.
at this point, the girl was completely worn out. she wanted silence, and this argument was bringing her to her limit.
“you really can’t be jealous of mark. i’m your girlfriend, he’s a coworker; and i’m only there late because of how hard i’m working to secure this job, to ensure our financial stability.” she repeated, voice slightly raised as her patience wore thin. her body was begging to rest, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this quarrel.
sunghoon stayed quiet, considering his choice of words before mumbling, “how much does he make?”
they locked eye contact and y/n instantly saw his teary, red eyes that begged for reassurance.
“what?” she softly asked, word almost incoherent with how much her heart shattered at his gaze.
the tall male shamed his head away, tears painting his cheeks more as he reluctantly croaked — “nothing, never mind.”
“hoon-“
she stood, body barely standing on its own,
but her boyfriend walked away with a murmur — “good night.., gorgeous.”
he still said her favorite nickname even through all of this.
before y/n could say more, sunghoon had already disappeared from her sight — walking into their bedroom without another word.
she sighed whilst sitting back down onto the couch. her boyfriend had just built a barricade around his feelings, shutting himself out to push her away and she wasn’t sure on what to do.
✩ ‘i blew things out of proportion now you’re blue’ ✩
but if he needed space, then she was gonna give it.
✩ ‘why’d i have to break what i love so much?’ ✩
so she settled down onto the couch, situating between the extra pillows and blankets kept in the closet to not disturb him any further.
it wasn’t as snug as her bed with her favorite boy, but it’d do for now.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 12:52am ]
y/n was half asleep on the couch now after having dreaded doubts about their argument.
her body faced away from the opening side, giving her no possible way of catching sunghoon if he were to get up for a bathroom run.
she felt cold and stiff without him. nothing would be able to comfort her as much as his embracing warmth could.
the girl softly sniffled, feeling tears well up in her tired eyes while attempting to go to sleep.
as her heart laid heavy with her, sudden feet movements were heard from her opposing side — hinting that her boyfriend had gotten up.
she figured that it was most likely for a quick bathroom break but when she felt his arms suddenly engulf her into his chest, the weighed feeling was relieved of her.
his soft breaths against her neck only acquired the way he couldn’t sleep without her.
“sunghoon?” y/n faintly whispered against him.
“we’re still mad at each other but i just can’t sleep alone tonight,” he hoarsely said back.
a smile curled onto her lips as she turned her body to face him. the boy’s eyes were closed but she could still find traces of tinted red all around.
✩ ‘it’s on your face, and i’m to blame’ ✩
“hoonie.”
✩ ‘i need to say’ ✩
slowly, he fluttered his eyes awake with a quiet sniffle in his nose. he raised his brows ever so slightly as a response, shattering her heart in the process.
she leaned in before placing a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.
“let’s talk,” y/n uttered, lifting her drowsy body up to sit.
sunghoon softly groaned. “it’s late, baby.” he said in a low, attractive voice.
“i know, but i want us to talk this out so we can go to sleep without any worry.”
she pulled her boyfriend up so he could sit up as well.
he exhaled a heavy sigh of his before letting the quiet atmosphere take over for a second.
“you deserve someone who can provide more,” he broke out, causing her gaze on him to immediately soften. “someone who isn’t just a lost twenty-one year old figuring out life, someone like mark.”
sunghoon felt tears spark at the rim of his eyes once his confession was let out. “you shouldn’t be..,” he paused, throat closing at his reality check. “you shouldn’t be with someone like me. i’m still a college student and.., you just deserve better.”
y/n instantly felt her heart drop with his worried doubt. she let the boy stream down tears so he could cry it out and once he did so, she muttered — “hoon, please look at me..,”
but he avoided her stare, just for a second so he wouldn’t break down again. and when he finally looked at her, she embraced him into her arms.
she wrapped herself tightly around him, hinting that she wouldn’t ever leave like he said.
the male hugged back, arms clinging around her waist as he quietly sobbed a little more.
when y/n pulled away, her hands quickly cupped his cheeks — making him look at her with his eyes that were sparkled from the tears.
“you’re doing enough, sunghoon.” she confirmed with a sniffle. “everything you’re doing is enough. i don’t need or will ever want mark, i like working like this because it gives me motivation, and i love you.”
✩ ‘i’m the one who burned us down’ ✩
her last three words were emphasized before she contently sighed and continued — “i’m sorry that i stayed late on our anniversary. i shouldn’t have because i know this day was important to you too. i’m really sorry.”
✩ ‘but it’s not what i meant, i’m sorry that i hurt you’ ✩
the boy pressed his lips together to form a bread smile. “i’m sorry too, you’re a hard worker and that’s what i love about you. i shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”
y/n wore a half smile, shaking her head afterwards to say, “i know my work schedule is difficult with yours but we’ll make it through this okay? we always do because nonetheless, this is my life and i love that you’re in it.”
the girl placed a sweet and reassuring kiss on his cheek as she said, “you’re my boyfriend and i intend to keep it that way until we hit another chapter.”
✩ ‘i don’t wanna lose, i don’t wanna lose this with you’ ✩
sunghoon’s last tears dropped for the night as he pulled her into a crying kiss.
his lips touched hers and he immediately felt relieved. a quiet groan slipped by his lips in the process, allowing y/n to smile into their kiss.
his hands firmly cupped her cheeks while hers were entangled into his messy hair.
his thick brows were deliciously scrunched together in satisfaction before they both pulled away.
“another chapter, hm? want to start that right now?” the boy teased with a grin.
“sunghoon!” she shouted back, allowing her boyfriend to chortle out laughter.
“i’m kidding!” he flashed a wide smile at her before murmuring, “i’m tired anyway.”
y/n playfully rolled her eyes before smacking his arm. “sure.., let’s just go to sleep.”
she dragged sunghoon to their bedroom, slumping her body down immediately after.
the male giggled and laid down on his side, pulling her into his chest like he always did. her hands gently rested on him as he placed chaste kisses on her forehead.
“good night, pretty girl.”
“good night, baby.”
✩ ‘meet me in the afterglow’ ✩
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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hoony2k · 1 month
Text
BEWITCHED AT FIRST SIGHT
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It's supposed to be a simple task, film another challenge but...why does does his body feel numb, hands shake like jelly and heart beats like crazy?
PAIRING: OT7
GENRE: fluff, angst
WORD COUNT: 2k total
WARNINGS: none
NOTE: hii! It's finally here after eons! I'm finally satisfied with it, this was so fun to write. My favourite is hee's part <3 hope it lived up to your expectations, sorry for the wait. Enjoy :)
Requested. Masterlist
Part 4 of idol!enha x idol! Series
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★ HEESEUNG:
One look and he knows what the heart wants.
Spring wedding, open area near sea, 3-tier vanilla and chocolate cake-
Heeseung’s always been a man who follows his plan so as he approaches, he begins to slow his walk and make himself as charismatic as possible. He pretends he doesn’t want to giggle as he observes how you quickly check him out. Barely noticeable, so swift that one blink and someone would miss it. Thankfully Heeseung was looking, waiting for your reaction. Your expression remains neutral, pretend to be busy fixing your belt.
Heeseung smiles like he’s won the lottery. Of course, it’d be more fun if you pretend you’re uninterested.
After a greeting that shouldn’t be so casual but is, Heeseung’s heart swells with pride seeing how you’re not backing down, keeping up the act but giving him an opening, letting the bait flutter near him but not too close.
“Do you want to rehearse?”, he asks. You barely glance at him and look at his manager but he knows who you’re speaking to. “I was thinking we’d do it in one take”. He shrugs his shoulders. You’re so close that his coat brushes your bare shoulder. You don’t take a step back. Neither does he.
The manager gives the two of you a confused look. “If we take the perfect first take, sure”.
You shine a million-watt smile at her, lips pink with glitter and gloss stretch to show off your teeth. Then, you turn to Heeseung and straighten your shoulders, trying to appear taller than you are yet you still crane your neck to look at him. Your pretty smile is gone but your eyes speak to him instead, daring and bold.
"Are you ready?"
Good thing Heeseung has always loved a good challenge.
★ JAY:
He doesn't think too much about it, it's just a small challenge, greet the person, teach them the dance, bonus points if they already know it and then actually film it and leave. He came mentally prepared to follow the same protocol he usually did when they filmed with female idols.
Although he did not expect to be swept off his feet the moment he heard your laughter as he turned and entered the hall where it was to take place.
Definity is mentally unprepared to see someone so ethereal that for a solid second, he has to pause his walk. His legs seem to be glued to the floor. All he can think of is how he needs to impress you on the first encounter, he has to make sure you keep thinking about him the way he knows he won’t be able to stop replaying your laughter in his head.
However, it's the first time Jay ever felt like this, he’s not sure how to approach it. His hands shake not because he's going on stage for the first time. The tip of his ears feel red and not because he's eaten spicy fried chicken. His tongue feels heavy, his mind scattered with nervousness and not because he's mentally unprepared. He knows what to do- film a challenge of his comeback song, the song and dance steps that have been engraved in his mind.
But when you look at him with those sweet welcoming eyes, Jay knows he’s gone. He stands next to you while his manager speaks but ahh!! he thinks of how he needs your number to be able to feel like he’s crossed the distance between you two.
You turn to address him but he interrupts you with a greeting, voice wavering.
There’s a pause, and confusion in the air but thankfully before it could get any awkward, you cackle and everything is okay again. You stretch a hand out and when Jay encloses it, he can't help but compare the difference in size.
You give him a teasing smile, “how are you?”
He’s not making it out alive.
★ JAKE:
he's not someone that actively watches performances of other groups online but he read up on your profile before meeting you.
Jake knows the image the site uploaded doesn't do you justice because it didn't capture the mole on your face, the delicate curve of your eye or the puzzled look in your eyes as you nod in the conversation.
He's able to recognise his feelings immediately, they're too dangerous. Alarms are blaring in his head and he needs to bottle this up before it fizzes out and he has to explore the sensation in his fingertips.
So that's what he does, he greets you with a big jake sim smile and asks about your day and if you ate.
Your eyes crinkle in glee and thankfully you respond with the same joy as him. Though he ignores how you sound even better in real life. His brain tells him award show performances will never be the same again- he needs to experience you singing live. But before that, he needs to film the challenge.
His manager asks him if he's ready, the unsaid "You good?" is loud for Jake but he replies with another smile. Larger and more confident. He tells himself he won't lose himself in the act- he can't risk it.
Then, he chooses to surprise his manager and himself but moving his entire body towards you and addressing you "Let's do our best!"
You clap in agreement, more motivated than before and Jake almost feels bad. You give him a bright thumbs up and tell him you look forward to his comeback, how sweet venom raised the bar for you. These aren't empty words, he sees the glimmer in your eyes.
Jake fears that he might have been too convincing with his friendly act and now you'll look for him in the halls the way he will try not to do the same.
The challenge is filmed smoothly and time passes by far too quickly much to his distaste. If it was up to him, he'd freeze this moment. Get himself stuck in a time loop with you so he could have eternity to soak in your presence, your confidence, your being.
But it's not up to Jake, it never has and right now he hasn't reached his peak. There are other precious people tied to his career, he tells his heart. It's better if he leaves the interaction here, in the past, ignoring the what-ifs and focusing on how to politely say goodbye and good luck. Focus on how to keep you at a safe distance in the future and ignore the guilt he feels.
★ SUNGHOON:
Sunghoon is aware of the effect he has on people. He’s learned to grow accustomed to how people stutter and can’t hold eye contact with him but he’s never been the one who goes weak in the knees- until today.
It’s supposed to be a simple, quick challenge filming, except it’s everything but that because one looks at you and he can’t stop replaying your shy laugh in his head. He’s rendered speechless. He offers you a ‘hello” nod that he hopes you don’t find disrespectful in your first encounter. He prays it isn’t the last. It’s as if fate brought karma upon him for accidentally leading people on. You don’t even look at him while the manager speaks and he can feel his heart twist.
Sunghoon has never wanted someone to glance at him so badly, so desperately.
“I can teach you”, is what he says, so slowly that his voice catches you off guard. You look bashful again, embarrassed almost and he regrets speaking. Do you like his voice? It didn’t crack even once.
You scratch your cheek, “There’s just one move I’m confused about”. Sunghoon can’t help the huge smile that escapes him. “Want to go over it together before we practise?”
He steps a foot closer, everything is beginning to blur, he can’t hear the murmurs of the nearby conversations, he can’t see anyone but you, not even the managers. Your perfume smells so soft, he wants to drown in it. it’s just you and the confidence in your eyes.
You give him a firm nod and Sunghoon knows the ambiguity behind it.
“Sure, why not?”, you say intending to prolong the meeting.
This time when he smiles, it’s not at your response but at the future he knows you see with him.
★ SUNOO:
He's genuinely so so excited to be here and film another challenge, he loves doing challenges and meeting potential friends. However, when you enter the room, he flashes a knowing smile. there’s a friend to lovers already in the works in his mind.
Sunoo is so bubbly throughout the filming, that it makes you wonder if his cheerful comments are subtly patronizing you. Remembering the first couple of steps isn’t a hard task but he compliments you as if you can solo the whole dance. After you get used to his presence and comments, only then do you realise that there is not a hint of malice or ill intent behind his words and actions, he genuinely wants you to feel comfortable and elt down your guard.
It’s a sweet gesture, one that you’re not accustomed to which is why Sunoo is so careful to not say anything that could be misinterpreted. He tells himself he only feels like he has to protect you because he wants to befriend you.
does he find you pretty? Sure, you’re an idol you’re bound to be pretty. It’s not that big of a deal but as soon as the atmosphere turns warm, with you and the manager exchanging jokes like old friends, he can’t help but wonder if he wants to be friends…or if is there something more his heart wants.
He knows he won’t be satisfied by the line between friends but the ambuity he feels doesn’t scare him. It makes him wonder what the future may hold for you. If you will invite him to film with him. It would be good PR and marketing, it would be something fans would want after seeing you dance to sweet venom. It would be something Sunoo would love- to meet you again. On camera, off camera, it didn’t matter.
But he won’t ponder on the what ifs, he won’t let himself second guess his actions when he asks for your number, and he won’t think if you find him charming as you type in your number. He’ll let the relationship take its natural course and hopefully begin something romantic with you.
★ JUNGWON:
he’s gone a good couple of years locking his heart away, never letting it think too much while he gazes at idols performing. He doesn’t let himself think about other idols unless it’s with a sense of inspiration or admiration. He almost perfected rejecting affection but all his hard work goes down the drain when he sees you.
You’re not even doing anything unusual, just talking to him like any decent person would. You ask him about his day and then drop a “let's work hard!” with a thumbs up and immediately fail at the first take.
It shouldn’t be so endearing watching you practise the same step over again and again but he can hear his heart rattle the cage.
“Put less pressure in the swing”, he advises and has to stop himself from holding your arm mid-dance. He clenches his fist instead and lets a dimple show. You glance at your arm and then back at him.
“I didn’t think about that”, you confess, a bit appalled, “Is that how you do it?”
The question makes him pause and wonder if it is how they all do it. He thinks of Ni-ki and then himself and gives a firm nod, but you don’t seem satisfied, the furrow in your delicate brows doesn’t leave. So you do something that shatters Jungwon’s world, breaks the cage he sweat blood and tears to build- heart leaping out of his mouth.
“I mean, is that how you do it? I want to match my style with yours”.
He blinks once, then twice. The tips of his ears burn red and he stutters for a coherent response. He’s completely forgotten his dance style at the sudden spotlight. The light you’re giving him.
“I guess, I could teach you how I do it”, he laughs unsure at your determined expression. It makes his heart soften.
He knows he can’t afford to start anything less than platonic with you, but thinking about you can’t hurt right?
★ NI-KI:
Ni-ki knows what respect feels like, how the feeling slowly spreads in his chest when he watches his seniors perform. It feels like everything but this. It doesn’t blossom slowly, it doesn’t make him feel jittery all over, it doesn’t distract him from his work to focus on how cute your freckles are or how there’s a hair strand that’s slipped out of your braid. He shouldn’t fix it, should he?
All he knows is that your attention on him will settle whatever he's feeling. Whenever you turn to him with your dazzling smile and sparkly makeup, Ni-ki feels like he can breathe again.
So, he begins to speak and speak and speak until the manager asks him if he wants to practice the dance instead.
You chirp in and agree, somehow you seem comfortable with him and he hasn’t even complimented you yet. All he talked about was how he loved your comeback. He feels his chest swell with pride when he realizes you’ve become more confident and assured when you mimic his teaching. Ni-ki thrives on how well you’re responding to his subtle attempts to appear cool so you can compliment him.
But when you do say “You make the hook look so easy”, fingers pinched and head moving along the beat, Ni-ki is rendered speechless. He was focused on wanting you to compliment him so bad that he had no idea how to react if you did.
Now, he lets his neck flush red and stutters his words, “It’s not that hard”.  It isn’t when that’s what he’s been practicing for months but you haven’t!
The potential misunderstanding grabs him by the throat and he splutters, hands waving to console himself rather than you- you don’t look offended or upset.
 You stare up at him with soft eyes yet Ni-ki has never felt so small.
“I didn’t mind anything”, you comfort him and he notices how your arm jerks upwards to pat him but halts midway, hesitant. Ni-ki lets out a breath to rewire his nerves.
He nods at you, gaining fortitude by the minute but in these moments of hesitancy where he almost touches your hand to fix its position or when you bite back another compliment, he genuinely believes that he’s not the only one with wobbly legs. 
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hooniblr · 2 months
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𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 (𝐘𝐄𝐓) 𝐈𝐈
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PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki x female feader
WORD COUNT ▸ 4.8k
GENRE ▸ high school au, brother’s best friend au, fluff, angst
SYNOPSIS ▸ After spending the better part of your adolescent life crushing on your brother’s best friend, you finally decide to call it quits on your unrequited feelings when you come to the conclusion that’s all they will ever be—unrequited. The only problem is that getting rid of these feelings that have been lurking in your heart is much more difficult than you anticipated. Especially because the object of your affections keeps making it hard for you to move on.
Or the one where Riki resorts to blackmail.
WARNINGS ▸ reader as sunoo’s twin sister, riki as sunoo’s bestie, feat. some of the newjeans members, reader is an expert at hiding her feelings, misunderstandings, pining, slow burn, blackmail, broken promises, hurt feelings
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NOTE — thank you for all the love on part one! hope you guys like this part. mdni banner made by @/benkeibear
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“You still haven’t told Sunoo about your new hobby?”
“No. I know he would just worry about me getting hurt.” You sighed. “So would my parents.”
Minji furrowed her eyebrows. “Don’t you think hiding it is doing too much? You’re not doing anything bad. It’s just jiujitsu.”
“You know how my mom gets. She wants me to do things ‘normal girls do’ like that’s going to make me act like her friends’ kids. Remember when she tried to make me join the choir?”
“Yeah.” Danielle grimaced. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get so embarrassed.”
You and Minji shared her grimace. Your audition probably went down as the worst in the history of the entire school. “I’m actually kind of good at jiujitsu, and I like doing it. If I tell Sunoo about it he won’t let me go back to the dojo ever again.”
Minji sighed. She knew you were right. Having an overprotective family would be the death of you.
“Come on.” She said, hoping to distract you from your inner turmoil. “Let’s go eat in the courtyard.”
“You don’t want to go to the cafeteria?”
"Riki’s in there.” Danielle reminded you. “So is Heeseung.”
“True.” You pursed your lips. “I’ll meet you guys out there. I have to drop off Sunoo’s stuff first.”
The hallway was relatively empty when you wandered up the stairs. You were glad no one was around because it would make it easier to drop off your brother’s bag—which he had inconveniently forgotten in the morning, again. When you glanced inside his classroom, it was completely alone, much to your relief.
After dumping the bag on his desk, you made a run for it. Sure, you were probably being overly paranoid, but you couldn’t risk running into Riki. Especially not after last night.
“Kim Y/N.”
Hearing your full government name made you freeze just before you reached the stairs. Your heart and mind had memorized that smooth melody long ago. You slowly turned around, heart stuttering despite knowing what sight awaited you. Riki’s usually sweet gaze had been replaced with one that was full of disapproving anger and something else; something you couldn’t discern.
“Riki.” You said his name breathlessly.
Your wide-eyed gaze only confirmed his suspicions. Up until now, you never had a problem being around him, or even looking at him. Right now, Riki could see that you were itching to get away from him as if he was some sort of parasite. He knew your awkward behavior was nothing more than a byproduct of hanging around that bastard Lee Heeseung, and it only made his anger grow immutably.
“I saw you last night.” Riki’s tone was accusing, knowing he was approaching the situation in a completely immature way. “I know you haven’t been hanging out at the internet cafe. You go to that dojo with Lee Heeseung.”
Out of all the things you expected Riki to say, him bringing up your secret jiujitsu lessons wasn’t on the list. It was clear that he disapproved, but you weren’t sure why he seemed as upset as he did. Did he know Sunoo wouldn’t approve as well? They truly were best friends. You were glad to see that the loyalty wasn’t just a one-way street despite the fact that it was now backfiring on you.
And so, like a deer caught in headlights, you could only blink at him bovinely as he gave you a stare that demanded answers.
“Does Sunoo know what you’ve been doing instead of going home?”
Your eyes widened in realization. Riki was going to rat you out.
“Please don’t say anything.” You begged, clasping your fingers together to form the classic pleading gesture. “I know he wouldn’t approve, and if he tells our parents then I won’t be able to go anymore.”
Riki clenched his jaw. Was being able to see that idiot so important to you? Enough to risk getting in trouble with your parents? He wondered how you would feel about Heeseung if you knew the truth about him. You definitely wouldn’t feel the same way about him if you found out what kind of person he really was.
Even so, your shimmering eyes had him thinking twice about ruining what you had with Heeseung. He could see that you were clearly infatuated with that idiot to the point that you were willing to upset your entire family by seeing him. The fact that you were even willing to go to that stupid dojo with him was enough indication of how much you liked him. (As if you avoiding him wasn’t proof enough.)
“Well—”
“Y/N!”
Sunoo bounded over to you with his rowdy friends following close behind him. Your panic-filled eyes glanced from Riki to your brother. You tried to straighten out your dismayed expression with a tense smile.
“Twin!” You exclaimed a little too happily. “I left your bag on your desk.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot—”
“I’ll see you at home.” You rushed out, not giving either boys a chance to respond before you took off down the stairs.
Luckily for you, neither of them followed after you. As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you looked back just to make sure. At that moment, you bumped into someone and nearly fell back. Stumbling awkwardly, you started to apologize for not watching where you were going.
“It’s okay. You’re not hurt, are you?”
Seeing Sunghoon’s worried expression almost made you roll your eyes. Instead, you told him you were fine and kept walking because the last thing you needed was to deal with your ex. Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed a stealthy getaway.
“What’s going on between you and Lee Heeseung?”
You glanced over your shoulder, annoyed that Sunghoon was following you. It would’ve been easy to ignore him, but you knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone since he had asked you in that nosy tone of his. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw you two at Jake’s party.” Sunghoon sounded insecure or something close to it. “Do you like him or something?”
An incredulous scoff tumbled past your lips. “What do you care? Are you jealous?”
“Yes—extremely.” His pout was objectively cute, but you couldn’t see it as anything other than annoying. “Since when did you start hanging around Lee Heeseung?”
It was usually easy for you to hide your feelings, but now your indignation was the one taking control as you turned to face him. “Around the time you stopped.”
Sunghoon’s eyes widened. If Heeseung had mentioned their brief friendship to you, it’s because he had explicit trust in you. The theory that he concocted the other night couldn’t be too far off from the truth. It made him feel a terrible dread in his gut. Heeseung wasn’t the type to reveal any private information, which brought Sunghoon back to the conclusion that you weren’t just anyone his former friend.
“So, Heeseung likes you then.”
You don’t think you had ever heard anything more ridiculous. It was obvious that Sunghoon was still too self absorbed to see that Heeseung had been pining for Song Yura for the longest time. His unrequited feelings are the reason you two had gotten so close. Not that it was any of your ex’s business.
You scoffed quietly before an apathetic smile spread on your lips. “Think what you want.”
Sunghoon frowned. As he went to say something else, you went out the exit leading to the courtyard. He could only watch you walk away from him with a disheartened expression.
Thinking you had successfully gotten him to back off was your first mistake.
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“Which movie did you pick?” You wondered as you put the popcorn bag in the microwave.
“I didn’t pick one yet.” Sunoo said from the living room. “Riki’s coming over so I wanted to let him decide on the movie too.”
You nearly dropped the bowl you pulled out of the cabinet. Maybe you should’ve felt upset that Sunoo conveniently forgot to mention that his bestie was crashing your movie night, but you were too panicked to feel angry or anything related to that emotion. It didn’t even have to do with the fact that you were practically in love with Riki. Instead it was about the not-so-small tidbit that he knew your secret and was probably planning to tell your brother all about it.
“I thought you said it was just going to be us tonight.” You did your best to sound upset although you were sure your voice was shaking.
“Riki wanted to hang out. You know I can’t tell him no.” Sunoo pouted as you went to sit by him. “You’ve never had a problem with him coming over before.”
That was before you decided to get over him.
“The three of us haven’t hung out together in a while. It’ll be good for him to come over, anyway. He could use your advice.”
“My advice?” You mimicked curiously. “Advice for what?”
“He got a love letter from Song Yura today.” Sunoo said with a giddy laugh. “He didn’t let me see what it said, but I think she confessed to him.”
“Maybe it wasn’t a love letter.” You said pathetically, knowing it was your wishful thinking doing the talking.
“But she even has his helmet. Not his extra one, his favorite one. I’m sure it won’t be long before they’re a couple.”
It was hard not to feel like a deflated balloon with what Sunoo was saying. Not only because Song Yura was obviously someone very special to Riki (he didn’t let just anyone touch that helmet), but because you knew Heeseung was going to feel heartbroken once he heard the news.
You couldn’t be surprised that this happened. It wasn’t like this was the first time Riki had gotten a girlfriend. He’d had plenty between the time you’d met him and now.
So, why did this feel so much worse than all the other times?
The title of the movie the boys selected went over your head. Your inner turmoil had the knots in your stomach tightening with every passing second. You weren’t sure whether to focus on the fact that Riki might expose your secret or that one of the prettiest girls in school had confessed to him. The choice wasn’t left to you as your mind alternated from thinking about the two problems periodically.
Your eyes were focused on the TV screen, but you were too busy thinking to see any of what was actually happening. Honestly, it was a good thing that Riki could potentially get into a relationship. If he did, it would be the thing to help her move on once and for all. Although watching him end up with someone else wouldn’t be painless, it would for the best. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.
Also, should Riki start to date Yura, then maybe he would be too caught up in his relationship to bring up your secret. Or maybe that was more of your wishful thinking since Riki was much more bothered about your jiujitsu lessons than you expected. You still couldn’t figure out why. It couldn’t be just because of his friendship to your brother. No matter how many times you went over it in your head, you couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.
Somehow, the movie ended before you could focus on it. With Sunoo telling Riki to pick another movie because he needed to use the restroom, you mindlessly wandered into the kitchen under the pretense of making more popcorn for the second movie. In reality, you needed to put some distance between you and Riki. Being alone with him wouldn’t do your resilience any good, and it definitely wasn’t helping your nerves. Unfortunately for you, nothing ever went as planned.
“We didn’t finish our conversation.”
Your hands stilled. Calm down. Breathe. You pressed the start button on the microwave before turning around to face Riki.
His thick eyebrow was raised, and that domineering look from before made an appearance once again. “Are you really going to keep doing jiujitsu even though you know your family won’t approve?”
You almost told him that he also did plenty of things that his family didn’t approve of, but you knew it wasn’t smart to get snarky with the person who knew your secret. Telling him the real reason you were practicing jiujitsu was out of the question. So, left without any other choice, you decided to bring up your friend in the hopes that he would leave it alone.
“It’s something fun to do with Heeseung.”
Astoundingly enough, Riki’s stern gaze became even more lethal. “Can’t you do something else with that idiot?” His voice rose unintentionally. “How can you want to keep learning jiujitsu just because that’s what—?”
“Shh!” You hissed in a panic, practically pouncing on Riki as you placed your hands over his mouth. “Sunoo will hear you!”
As you looked towards the living room worriedly, Riki found himself frozen in shock. Your soft hands pressing against his lips had his heart pounding harshly against his chest. From this close, he could see every single one of your eyelashes and the deep color of your pretty eyes. He couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, only focusing on the close proximity. You smell invaded his senses and disarmed him completely.
When you looked back at Riki, you noticed he was looking at you strangely. It was then that you realized how close you two were. Literally chest to chest. You jumped back, feeling a bit of heat spread on your face.
“Sorry.” You apologized. “Just please don’t say anything.”
You rushed back into the living room before Riki could say anything else. All you could focus on was your erratic heartbeat that wouldn’t slow down. How could he affect you so much without even doing anything? It wasn’t fair because you were sure your presence didn’t have the same affect on him. The heat on your face hadn’t gone down even when Riki came back with the popcorn. If he noticed how flustered you looked, he didn’t mention it.
“Y/N.” Sunoo said as he walked back into the living room. “What’s this? Is it yours?”
Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when you saw Sunoo holding up your gi. You nearly choked, not knowing what to say since you were practically caught red-handed. Since when did he go through the laundry?
“That’s Danielle’s.” Riki said suddenly. “She asked me to get it for her when I came over.”
Without any hesitation, Sunoo handed the garments to Riki. While you were grateful that he hadn’t outed your secret, the nerves of him possibly changing his mind had you fidgeting uncomfortably as the two boys picked another movie. All throughout the comedy, you kept stealing glances at Riki. He didn’t look at you once, and you mentally cursed him for being so good at hiding his emotions.
When it was time for Riki to leave, you offered to see him out. Instead of walking him to the door, you stepped out into the cold night with him. You stood in front of Riki, nervously playing with the hem of her hoodie.
“Thank you for not telling my brother.”
“I’ll keep your secret.” Riki promised. “But you have to do something for me.”
You should’ve been suspicious at the tone he’d gotten, but you were too caught up with his promise not to tell anyone about your jiujitsu lessons. “What’s that?”
“I won’t tell anyone about what you’ve been up to as long as you stop going to that dojo and stop seeing Lee Heeseung.”
You thought he was joking until you that saw his somber expression didn’t change. Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She could understand the first part of his request, but what did you being friends with Heeseung have to do with anything?
“What? I can’t just—”
“Should I let your brother know what you’ve been doing, then?” Riki raised a challenging eyebrow at you.
Your shoulders sagged. “No.”
Riki held back a grin, but only just. “So, do we have a deal?”
“Yes.” You agreed reluctantly.
His signature smirk made an appearance. He lifted his hand and rested it on your head, softly ruffling the top of your hair. “Good. See you later.”
“Wait!” You called, pointing at the garments in his hand. “My gi!”
Riki glanced down at the clothing in his hands. Again, he looked up at her with that smirk of his. “This? I think I’ll hold onto it for the time being.” His smirk seemed mocking now, but it was still fatally attractive. Damn him. “Go back inside. You’ll catch a cold out here.”
And so, you watched Riki get on his motorcycle and take off with a sulky scowl on your face.
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“Y/N.”
Riki was leaning against his motorcycle as he beckoned you over to where he was. You hesitantly walked over, feeling your palms begin to perspire. Ever since you decided to go behind his back and still go to the dojo with Heeseung, you felt like you were on the brink of being caught.
“Where are you heading?”
To the dojo. “Oh... I was just going home since Minji and Danielle can’t hang out today.”
“Let’s get something to eat.” Riki’s words left no room for any disagreements. He handed you his spare helmet casually. “Hop on.”
You shook her head frantically. “Oh—no. You don’t have to. I’m not—”
“Come on.” He insisted, forcing the helmet into your hands. “Don’t you want your gi back?”
You scowled. “Fine.”
After putting on the helmet, you hesitantly got on the back of his motorcycle. It was embarrassing since you didn’t exactly fit on the edge of the bike, though, it mostly had to do with you sitting as far from him as the narrow seat would allow. You were sure you’d turn into putty if you had any physical contact with him.
“Hold on tight.”
You grimaced, torn between playing out the one fantasy that had been replaying through your head for months and your rational need to set boundaries so your feelings would stop growing. You awkwardly grabbed Riki’s shoulders, hoping that you wouldn’t fall off once he took off.
Riki laughed at your obvious unease. He decided to do a break check so you’d realize that not holding onto him wasn’t an option. Suddenly, you were flung forward. The front of your body collided with Riki’s firm back with a loud thud. For a moment, you thought you had hurt him until you saw his shoulders shaking with laughter. You glared at the back of his head. “Riki!”
“I told you to hold on.” Riki said, the lilt in his voice was teasing yet there was also a serious undertone to his words. “Do you want to fly off?”
You almost told him that you wouldn’t if he went slow enough. However, you kept your mouth shut and hoped your obsession wouldn’t grow as you hesitantly wrapped your arms around his torso. You gently rested your head against his back and closed your eyes. Just for a second, you told yourself. For a small moment, you would let go of the worries that burdened you and simply enjoy being close to the boy you liked.
Something unfamiliar tugged at Riki’s chest. His head shifted a little, wanting to catch a glimpse of the girl on his back. Your arms were secured around his waist and you were leaning on him, but he suddenly found that it wasn’t enough. Somehow he wanted you even closer. Riki cleared his throat quietly, pushing the unfamiliar thoughts out of his mind for the time being.
And so, you two sped off, neither of you noticing the boy who had been watching their entire interaction from afar.
You uncomfortably picked at the food in front of you. Had this been last year, you would’ve been overjoyed at sharing a meal with Riki (part of you still was), but now you couldn’t help but feel like this was all some sort of trap. Like he knew you had gone against your promis and was waiting on Sunoo to show up to tell him everything.
“Are you not hungry?” Riki wondered with a slight frown. “Bulgogi is your favorite.”
Honestly, you felt like puking up all the butterflies in her stomach, but he didn’t need to know that. “I’m not really hungry.” Your words were hardly convincing, but Riki seemed to believe you. “I got used to not eating as much because of jiujitsu.”
Riki’s jaw ticked in annoyance. “Is that really all it is?”
“Yeah.” You nodded your head. “I swear.”
That aggravated look he had been getting a lot lately found its way onto his face again. “Are you sure it’s not because you can’t see Heeseung?”
Your reluctance to answer the question had irritation crawling up his skin like a parasite. He knew that’s what it was. The shy look on your face was all the indication he needed to know you were thinking about that idiot. Riki only asked you because he hoped that you would tell him. Once you did, he would tell you that Heeseung wasn’t worth your time.
“It’s not like that.” You told him, confused that he was getting so worked up.
“Do you like him?” Riki demanded, needing to hear those words come out of your mouth. “Tell me the truth.”
His tone caught you off guard. You chewed on your bottom lip, wondering if you should mess with him a little since he took your stuff. Maybe it was petty of you, but you decided to do it anyway. You gave him a half-smile that you were sure looked more like a grimace. “That’s a secret.”
Riki was sure his jaw would snap at any moment from the amount of pressure he was putting on it. “Just know you’re out of his league. You’re way too pretty to settle for him of all people.”
You felt like your heart was ready to burst at any moment from how fast it was beating. Damn him. Damn your feelings for him. You were aware Riki only spoke his words out of kindness (and out of his dislike for Heeseung), but your dumb heart couldn’t tell the difference. It was clear that Riki didn’t see you the way he saw Song Yura. To him, you would always be Sunoo’s sister. But for a brief moment, you allowed herself to believe that he sincerely meant what he said.
Your shocked gaze had Riki coughing nervously. It wasn’t the first time he called you pretty, but this time it felt different from all the previous times. His words seemed more... intimate, somehow.
You didn’t realize you were full-on staring until the chime of a text notification pulled you out of the trance that was Riki’s intense gaze. Your jaw nearly dropped when she saw Heeseung’s name on the screen. He didn’t text you very often, and when he did it was only ever to tell you he wouldn’t be at the dojo.
Where are you?
You briefly glanced at Riki before quickly typing out a reply.
I’m at the corner restaurant near the dojo. I’ll be there soon.
You put your phone back on the table, feeling like there was an impending doom waiting for you. There was this inkling you had that nothing good could come from Heeseung’s ominous message. Even so, you chose to ignore it for the time being.
“So.” Riki cleared his throat, not knowing why he suddenly felt so shy. “What’s so great about your little crush, anyway?”
You contemplated your next words. Riki probably thought you were going to tell him about Heeseung, but he could never know what you were about to say was all about him. It was the only opportunity you would have to tell Riki how you really felt about him.
“Ever since we met, he’s been nothing but kind to me. He sees me for who I am.” The corner of your mouth lifted a bit. “Some people think he’s a jerk, but he isn’t really. He’s actually really sweet and caring.”
Riki’s expression hardened. Sweet? Caring? Yeah, right. He was sure that he could be much more sweet than Heeseung who had the emotional range of a fish.
“What about you, Riki?” You questioned despite knowing his answers would only hurt your feelings. “Everyone’s talking about how much you like Yura. What kind of person is she?”
Riki raised his eyebrows, baffled. “What? I don’t—”
He cut himself off when he saw a familiar (and unwelcome) presence approach the table. If you thought his gaze was harsh before, it didn’t compare to the murderous look that crossed his face in that instant. You followed his gaze, mouth dropping open in surprise when you saw Heeseung standing about two feet away from the table.
“H-Heeseung?” You choked out, unable to believe that he was actually there.
“I got worried when you didn’t meet me at the dojo like we’d planned.” He said like his words weren’t the equivalent of dropping a bomb of chaos.
You could’ve choked Heeseung right then and there. What the hell did he think he was doing? You gave him a look, one that you hoped he would understand. Either he didn’t notice it or he didn’t care. You were willing to bet it was the latter.
“What are you doing here?” Riki’s voice was deceptively calm. “Don’t tell me you’re following her.”
In the few times you witnessed the two boys around each other, you knew it always got ugly fast. You could see where this encounter was heading, and it was heading there quick. Luckily for you, your saint of a brother decided to call you right then.
“Sunoo!” You hastily answered your phone. “What’s up?”
“Mom wants us home for dinner. She made ribs.”
“Okay. I’ll be there right away.” You hung up before he could say anything else. You scrambled to grab your bag. “I have to go—family emergency. See you guys later!”
With that, you ran away from the uncomfortable scene that was unfolding without looking back once.
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You waited at the front of your school anxiously. Riki hadn’t mentioned anything to Sunoo yet, and you were hoping you could convince him not to with a bit of begging. The seconds ticked by, and while you still hadn’t seen his familiar motorcycle, you saw the person who had dug you into a deeper hole.
“Lee Heeseung!” You hissed as you pulled him to the side. “What was that stunt you pulled yesterday? You know I can’t have anyone find out that I’m learning jiujitsu.”
Heeseung looked unfazed as ever. “I just want to know what you’re doing. You said you were trying to get over Nishimura, but you were having a meal with him.”
Your right eye twitched. “That’s because he said he would give me back my gi!” You whisper-yelled, wanting to pull on the ends of your hair in frustration. “Which he didn’t, thanks to you.”
“I also wanted to ask him why he has a problem with us being friends. It’s not like you’re his little sister.”
You’re not sure why that made your anger simmer to a simple irritation. Also, Heeseung did sort of have a point. You laughed incredulously, shoving his shoulder a bit. “You’re so immature, Hee. You know he has a problem with it because he doesn’t like you.”
Heeseung highly doubted the only reason Riki didn’t want you two hanging out was because of their mutual dislike for each other. He knew that you probably wouldn’t figure that out any time soon because you were too overwhelmed with your own feelings, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find out the truth on your behalf.
Your smile was quick to slip off your face when you saw Song Yura staring your way. The heartbroken look she had her on her face caught you by surprise. Even worse, Riki was standing directly behind her. You felt herself panic. If there was any hope that your begging would convince him not to say anything, it was gone now. Now you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to crawl out of the hole you had dug yourself in.
Riki on the other hand could only look on with a glare. He had never planned on exposing your secret. It was only a pretense to get you to stop hanging around that prick, but now he could truly see that your feelings were stronger than your fear of getting in trouble. He had suspected that was the case for some time now, yet it still made him feel sick.
Why did it have to be Lee Heeseung of all people? Why couldn’t it be... anyone else?
Riki turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction, not knowing what to make of the heaviness in his chest.
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taglist: @hoondiors @blurryriki @miiequalsx
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ikeuverse · 24 days
Text
SLOW DOWN — s.jaeyun
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PAIRING: illegal!jake x fem!reader GENRES: angst, smut, fluff WC: 2.8k+
WARNINGS: swearing, weapons, knives, blood, illegal things in general (drugs, racing, alcohol). smut will be added in the next chapters, physical and verbal fights.
NOTES: i was listening to the song by chase atlantic, which is the title of this fic, and this scenario with jake just popped into my head. i wrote this part as a taste of what's probably to come. i hope to continue writing it, but first, i want to know what you, my readers, think of it since it's something i like to write about (mafia and all) and with jake being my utt i honestly felt my mind expand. tell me if i should continue or just delete it, please. i hope you like it!
CHAPTERS: prologue | chapter one | [...]
TAGLIST: i've never done this, but lmk if you want to be tagged — mentions in the first chapter (already in the link above)
masterlist
a synopsis (too long to be a synopsis) below the cut. read it and tell me what you think, please. or just an idea, idk if i'll go through with it
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The smooth taste of the cherry liqueur you were drinking was enough to relax your whole body. Smiling slightly at your best friend Chloe, chatting about trivial things in life. She was the one person in your cycle who made everything seem a little more normal.
Chloe was responsible for making you forget that you were part of a mafia family and that everything around you was linked to guns, blood, illegal things, and dirty money. She disconnected you from that world where you were there out of obligation.
"We need to go out sometime" Chloe finished off the liquor in her glass, lifting her body to pick up the bottle and refill it "How about the new nightclub that opened in the next town?"
You thanked your friend when she also wanted to refill her glass, letting the liquor run halfway down and then drinking a little more.
"I guess we could do that" you replied, thinking of ways to try to convince your father not to send a bouncer for you and her. It was unnecessary, but it was also a wasted conversation knowing that he would only let the two of you go out on that condition.
Luckily, your best friend had already gotten used to it, not least because living with you since elementary school had brought her all this knowledge little by little. You were immensely grateful that she didn't abandon you once she knew the whole truth, which is why Chloe has remained your best friend to this day.
"Then we can go to a convenience store and get some ice cream to try while we're still drunk."
The genuine laughter you two shared was the fuel you needed whenever something was heavy in the house. You had to call Chloe if only to stay in your room, in the office assigned to you, or anywhere in the house after hearing men walking around, your father fighting with someone or running around which – unfortunately – you witnessed every time.
It was exhausting. You also knew that there was no point in trying to run away or asking your father to disown you. He wouldn't be able to do you any harm, but he would probably keep you isolated, trapped in some lake house he had as a hiding place, and get you out when you thought better of it. If you could think about living a normal life or continuing your family's mafia.
"Knock, knock" the sound of the door knocking combined with the voice that imitated it brought you out of your thoughts and straight to where you needed to be.
Heeseung's smile was infectious, you always smiled when you saw your best friend. But not when he walked in with his head down wherever you were, his clothes covered in blood and his hands behind his back.
"What the fuck happened now?" you sighed loudly enough, dropping your glass of liquor on the coffee table between you and Chloe.
"Hi to you too, y/n" he finally raised his head, smiling at you again after looking away to his best friend "Hi, babe."
"Heeseung" Chloe raised her glass as a silent toast, ignoring the fact that the nickname she knew was only meant to annoy her. You'd make fun of the two of them if it weren't for your best friend's current situation.
"Where does all this blood come from?" you stood up from your chair "What the fuck have you all done now?"
Hesseung wiped the remnants of blood from his hands on his T-shirt, sighing in the process as he thought about what to say to you.
He was nervous. Lee Heeseung was visibly nervous and you knew that was almost impossible to happen. Come on, the guy in front of you who you called your best friend was one of your father's best illegal racing drivers, he'd been through so much shit on the track, how could talking to you be so bad? That only happened when...
"We need your help" he said at last, biting his lower lip to stop himself from shaking in the process. The boy's eyes searched for yours and, as soon as they were found, he let out "Jake's hurt..."
You froze at that moment, completely shutting out Heeseung's voice as he passed on the information. Chloe noticed, so she listened carefully in case you asked her later what had happened.
Jake's name together with the hurt, adding the blood that was on Heeseung... It all came together in one way and made you follow him wherever your best friend was going.
It was these moments that pulled you back into the life you had, reminding you that your family was part of the mafia and that you, consequently, were part of it too. The most obvious condition your father found to keep you in the business was that you did something that could link you to the surname for the rest of your life. Not as a bastard, because he wouldn't let you walk away easily.
So the only way was to get a degree in nursing, study medicine, and anything else that involved taking care of the wounds of the men who worked for your father. If you were constantly injured, shot, stabbed, or anything too suspicious, the hospital would surely call the police, and a big interrogation would begin. Your father wanted to avoid all this, so getting you involved at least on the good side made you feel less bad about it.
"Finally" Sunoo almost shouted with happiness as you turned the corner of the corridor behind Heeseung, along with Chloe by your side who kept an eye out in case you fainted from being so nervous.
They all looked the same as Heeseung, which made you wonder if Jake had lost a lot of blood or if it had gotten really bad.
"What happened?" you asked again.
"We went to accompany some of your father's men" Jay was the only one sitting down, his elbows resting on his knees. Taking his head between his hands, which were the same as Heeseung's, he looked at you "They set up an ambush, we had to defend ourselves."
You hung up again while Jay continued talking, relaying events to Chloe, who seemed almost like your private secretary.
Your eyes searched for Heeseung and he just nodded at you, then nodded towards the door opposite where Jay was sitting. That's where Jake was. And that's where your father kept a private infirmary, which you affectionately called his workroom.
Opening the door, two of your father's men were standing next to the gurney where Jake's body lay. You didn't look too far in his direction and just approached the sink to tie up your hair and sanitize your hands. Without realizing how much you were shaking at the thought of the worst, especially with Jake.
Why did you feel that way just hearing his name?
Get over it. Forget it.
The voice screamed in your mind as you turned to walk to the stretcher and join the men.
"Jake, dude" Heeseung called "She's here."
A brief moment of silence before Jake's eyes opened, looking at each of the men until they stopped on you. A faint smile on his dry, opaque lips, his eyes squinted.
"My private doctor" he forced a laugh, groaning in pain and placing his hand on his abdomen.
That's when you realized, the blood was coming from there. A cut that tore through Jake's T-shirt, piercing the skin. You couldn't tell how serious the problem was because it all looked like a big mess.
"Let's leave you two alone" Heeseung rested one hand on the side of Jake's head "Don't scare us anymore, your motherfucker" he slapped his friend on the back, turning to you "We'll be at the end of the corridor if you need anything."
You couldn't answer, only nod as Heeseung took the other two with him, leaving you and Jake alone in your room.
"I..." you sighed, closing your eyes and pushing away any thoughts as you went back to looking at the wound in front of you "I need you to take off your shirt, I have to clean it."
Without looking Jake in the eye, you grabbed his hands to help him sit up enough to take off his shirt. Turning to get the products you needed to use and clean it, would give Jake time to remove the shirt that was getting in the way of the whole process.
He, for his part, felt every discomfort and pain coursing through his body as he moved his arm to take off the shirt that had already been lost the moment they tore the material with that knife. That damn knife that had left him like that.
Throwing the shirt anywhere on the floor, Jake sat waiting for you to turn towards him and, as soon as you did, he could see your shocked expression.
"What?" he looked at his own body, then looked in your direction "It's nothing you haven't already seen, touched, kissed..."
"Shut up, Jaeyun!" you wanted to convince yourself that all the burning in your face was from anger at the words you were hearing, and not because you felt embarrassed about it. Why did he have to talk such nonsense?
You didn't have to ask him to lie down, Jake got the message as soon as you got near the stretcher with the absorbent cotton and saline solution. He inhaled a good amount of air and held his breath while you cleaned his wound. It didn't sting like the other times, but he could feel his skin burning with the touch of your fingers on it.
Jake could have sworn he'd burn up if you continued with all that delicacy on him.
"It wasn't deep" your voice caused him to let out a breath, groaning in pain as a little pressure was applied to a spot on the wound "I'd venture to say you moved away quickly enough before plunged the knife into your abdomen."
"You know I'm fast, don't you?" Jake was a fucking idiot with his double entendres, you knew it was pure provocation "Why did I bleed so much?"
Thank God he changed the subject, or you'd have opened that cut yourself.
"Because it cut through the epidermis, it just missed the dermis. That would have been a bit worse and I don't think I'd have brought you here."
"I'm glad they did" for the first time since Jake and you were alone in that room, you could hear the sincerity in his voice. Something that rarely happened.
Your eyes went up from the cut to Jake's face, seeing that he was already staring at you. Without saying much, you concentrated on making the dressing as comfortable as possible so that he could feel more comfortable as he left the room.
As you wrapped the bandages around his torso, his voice echoed in your mind like a relentless demon. It wasn't anything you hadn't seen, touched, kissed... Enjoyed every time he found himself in your room. In your bed.
The thought of a time when you and Jake were together was the last thing you wanted to think about. It had been a long time and that couldn't be part of your thoughts, even if it was sabotage because every day, all the time you looked at him, your mind wandered to the exact moment you two kissed for the first time.
Or how he held you for the first time and every touch on your skin made you boil.
"Thinking of me?" his voice was so vivid that you had forgotten you were still in his presence, with your hands resting on Jake's chest and the bandage already finished.
Sniffling, you straightened up and turned away from him, gathering up the remnants of the things you'd used so you could throw them in the garbage can.
He said nothing, getting up from the stretcher with some difficulty while still looking at you.
It was a lose-lose situation to do that, but Jake simply couldn't let the opportunity he was having slip away. So he walked towards you slowly, as best he could because he could still feel the wound pulling at his abdomen. He got close enough as soon as you turned to face him, a thin scream bursting from your lips from the fright, but soon calming down when you found his eyes resting fixedly on yours.
"Y/n" he whispered.
"Jaeyun, don't..."
"Listen to me, please" the request sounded more like a plea, and you lost count of how many times Jake did it, but he could never finish because you always ran away.
And you wanted to run away again.
"What do you want?" you asked, almost regretting it when he answered, unashamedly.
"You back to me."
He had to be a talker. Jake needed to have that idiotic power over you with anything he said. It was extremely unfair that someone had been born and put into your life just to leave you speechless and steal your heart.
Your sigh was a silent answer that he could come a little closer, and with slow steps, Jake did. Just enough so that he could lean his body against yours only as far as his bruise didn't make contact.
Jake's hand quickly reached for your cheek, forming a shell between it and your face to hold close enough to his.
"Please, I need you back" Jake leaned his forehead against yours, his warm breath beating against your cheek.
Your hands were trembling as one of them touched his arm, while the other went carefully to the opposite side where Jake was hurt. The touches kept his balance and kept him close too.
"Then answer me" your voice was at the same pitch as his, avoiding any louder sounds that might scatter the two of you.
Jake knew what you meant, he was fully aware of it. He'd been asked that question so many times, that's why he knew he wasn't in your life as your boyfriend.
"Y/n, you know I can't..." he began.
"Me or these dangerously idiotic missions of my father's?"
Jake closed his eyes, pressing his forehead a little closer to yours.
"Y/n..."
"You can choose to race with Heeseung, stay in tech with Niki" your voice began to choke and Jake felt that it was hurting more than the cut on his abdomen. He knew it was all his fault.
"But it gives me a lot more money, and..." he sighed, looking straight into your eyes "You know what I'm putting any money towards. Please..."
"Is it money? For God's sake, Jaeyun, I can help you..."
"No!" Jake said sternly, but not rude enough to scare you. He'd never managed to be rude to you since he first met you "I can't accept it. That's my problem and—"
"I thought your problems were mine too."
That phrase was strangely familiar. Jake knew he'd heard it somewhere before, he just couldn't think where when you turned away from him at the same second as the knocks on the living room door were heard. Making you both step back.
"Mr. Jaeyun? Miss y/n?" one of your father's security guards had his head between the doors, looking in your direction. You waved so that he could enter "The rest of the guys are waiting for news, if you could…"
"Of course" you smiled at him, thanking him not only for the information but for the interruption because you knew that another argument was probably on the way "Come on, we need to go."
"Y/n, I—"
"The guys need an update from you" without going any further, you turned away from Jake and waited for him to get ready to leave the room.
You knew it was bad to do this anyway, but there was no escaping it. Being tied up with your family's affairs meant moments like this, but they weren't all bad. Taking care of the people who worked for your family was just a way of saying thank you for them – unfortunately – risking their lives.
But when it came to Sim Jaeyun, you knew that everything was intense. Even more so as the whole story of the two of you played through your mind like a movie on repeat.
All the times you and he had been together, all the moments the two of you had shared until the final fight.
Which Jake was trying, at all costs, to reverse. Because it was as he had told you a few minutes ago, he wanted you back. You just didn't know what Jake was capable of.
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© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
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snghnlvr · 5 months
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[2] 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. / park sunghoon
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park sunghoon x fem reader!
synopsis : you’re in a crisis whether or not to avoid sunghoon forever after your indirect confession backfired, however sunghoon wants to know why you’re ignoring him. you realized that you can’t avoid him for the rest of your life.
here’s part one of take a chance with me!
includes : 2.1k words | cursing | jake and yunjin makes an appearance!! | angst to comfort to fluff !! | happy ending :3
extra : i didn’t expect so much love part one received T-T thank you so much for supporting it <3 | yn is me when i deal with a messy situation :// | sunghoon is touchy?? | both of them are a blushing mess lol | KISSING | i’m sorry if part two isn’t up to your expectations T-T
likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3
[below the cut]
“you like sunghoon!?” your best friend, yunjin shrieked. her eyes were wide and her mouth opened, leaning back in shock as both of you are sitting in your bed.
you nodded disappointedly, holding a pillow on your lap.
after what happened last week, you decided to share the news to your best friend, yunjin because one, you needed to rant to someone and two, you’re comfortable around her as she’s open minded with a lot of things - especially with boys.
“you mean, the park sunghoon?” she emphasized each other, leaning closer to you with each other and scanning you as if you’re lying.
you nodded once again. “alright yunjin, share it with the whole world!” you rolled your eyes with her as yunjin leaned back again, nibbling her lip. she was thinking of something to solve the situation you’re dealing with because heck she didn’t know how to fix this one.
“argh!” you groaned, laying down in your bed as you covered yourself in your fluffy blanket. you closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying to collect yourself and not rethink about last week.
yunjin just stared at you, eyes wandering all over your room. “well,” she started.
“sunghoon doesn’t know that it was you sending letters.”
you removed the blanket from your face, pouting at yunjin because she does have a point.
“but he said that he hates people sending him letters!” you shouted, once again putting the blanket over your head.
yunjin believes that you’re acting like a little girl. and you would think yourself too.
“but he doesn’t know that it’s you!”
“but he said it himself!”
at this point you kept arguing with yunjin, back and forth, screaming at each other’s faces. there was no solution except talking it out but you’re blushing at the thought of talking to him. you can’t bring yourself to talk to sunghoon, it’s just embarrassing.
-
[now playing… take a chance with me by NIKI]
in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.
you looked out the window as it’s a free period from your class schedule. it was cleaning period so all of your classmates are all over the place. you leaned down with your arms planted down on the window. your eyes were scattering at the outside view from your building.
the faded music from your classroom that was played from your classmates, did not help you in moving on from park sunghoon, if anything it made yoh regret everything, even your rejected letters.
your eyes were following each snowflake in a way to stay awake. your tired eyes were starting to shut off due to your classes that were stressing you out. you were also mentally drained from thinking about sunghoon and what to do.
do you continue being friends with him after he indirectly broke your heart or just flatly avoid him like a coward you are? both of them doesn’t solve anything.
you heard sudden screaming from down the hall. your eyes shifted from the view to whatever commotion was happening. it was getting crowded by girls so you didn’t know that was happening.
you kept peeking at whatever was happening. you were curious of it.
your heart paused when you caught a glimpse of sunghoon.
after the news spread like rapid fire that sunghoon won #1st place in his competition, sunghoon’s popularity rose. girls started to like him more and people wanted to be friends with him. it worsen your chances of liking sunghoon.
you noticed sunghoon’s cheek dimples when girls started mini conversations with him especially complimenting him and giving him gifts as a way to congratulate him in getting #1st place.
you smiled at the sight, feeling bitter as the feelings you felt last week were reoccurring. you miss that smile of his.
maybe it is time to move on.
as you were standing up, grabbing the broom next to you to sweep up the dust on the floor, sunghoon finally noticed you.
he’s been wanting to talk to you, heck, even see you but you weren’t in his sight. even when in class, usually you would try to steal glances (yes sunghoon knew about it but didn’t say anything) across the room but now, you just focused on the work in front of you. not even sparing a glance at him.
he observed you, assuming, are you ignoring me? he even pouted when you just left class, walking past him when his eyes were planted to yours, trying to make you look at him.
and now he has this opportunity in front of him. you weren’t busy nor occupied with someone. he quickly apologized to the girls, saying that he has somewhere to go.
he tried to leave the scene, making sure he isn’t pushing anyone and tries to jog towards you with your back faced towards him.
“y/n!”
you froze, recognizing the voice that was calling to you.
you turned around like a deer caught in headlights. you saw sunghoon breathing heavily, “hey..” he smiled upon looking at you.
you didn’t smile back, as you were shocked. you never expected a situation like this, not in public.
so you ran. you ran away away from him like the freak you are.
sunghoon was confused, standing still for a few seconds before his body moved to his own accord. he started chase after you. he was right about his assumption,
you were avoiding him.
that drove him motivation to more to run after you.
sunghoon noticed that you would walk the other direction if he approached you or look away if spared a glance at you. he wanted to know why. he wanted to know what’s wrong even if he didn’t do anything.
you didn’t know why your tears started falling after you made eye contact with sunghoon. your past emotions were resurfacing and you didn’t want to see sunghoon witness your pathetic side.
you wanted to run away and hide from sunghoon.
you didn’t know where you were going.
your legs soon gave up and you ended up in the school’s backyard. you were by yourself which was a good thing because no one will have to see you cry.
you were shivering like crazy because yeah, you just ran away towards outside when it’s snowing and you have nothing but a skirt (your school had heaters so you don’t feel cold once you enter) and a cardigan.
so smart y/n…
you were panting like crazy as if you ran 8 miles. you placed a hand on the wall to catch your breath.
“y/n..” a voice trailed behind you, also panting.
fucking park, did you follow me?
you turned around to see sunghoon with his messy hair and his messed up uniform. you noticed that he had a messy collar from running. you know you can’t run away from this situation.
“why..” you muttered at him with glossy eyes. you were undoubtedly confused as to why he followed you.
sunghoon slowly walked towards you and you noticed that he was holding his long coat in his arms. you looked back at him with hurt visible on his expression.
“why are you avoiding me?”
you were at a loss of words at the sudden confrontation. your heart was beating like crazy and you curse at yourself as to why you can’t form a single sentence. geez you might believe that sunghoon probably hates you.
“um..” come on y/n think!
sunghoon was staring at you, expecting a response but as he saw you shivering like a dog, he approached to you with his coat. he stood in front of you which didn’t help yourself form words.
he wrapped it around your body, sending electric shocks in your body from his fingers touching your shoulders. you slowly looked up at sunghoon as he made sure to cover every inch of your body with his coat, even if it’s touching the floor.
“whatever i did,” sunghoon was fixing the collar as you kept staring at him with a sad smile. “i’m sorry.” he finally looked at you. your eyes started to swell up with tears like a crybaby.
you looked down so sunghoon wouldn’t see your tears falling. “you don’t understand,” you whispered. “you hate people like me.” you swore that your voice cracked.
sunghoon tilted his head at that assumption. “who told you that?” he tried lowering his head to look at you. “i would never hate you.” he softly said, hands slowly placed onto your shoulders, gently massaging them to ease you.
“whoever said that is a bitch.” you chuckled at sunghoon’s words. how ironic.
“i guess you’re a bitch.” you looked up to him with a slight, amused smile. his eyebrows quirked at your words. you looked at him and noticed the snowflakes on his hair. you wanted to remove them but you held back.
“what do you mean? have i said anything?” you can hear the genuineness in his tone. you can’t be mad at him forever, it’s not even his fault.
“those love letters,” you decided to just spill it out. “do you why they’re gone? why you’re not receiving them?” you didn’t expect a response. “because they were from me sunghoon. i wrote the letters to you.”
now it was sunghoon’s turn to be frozen. his hands stopped massaging you, his lips puffed out air in shock, and his eyes are slightly wide. you couldn’t handle his stare so you sniffled, looking down.
you expected a disgusted look from sunghoon and let him reject you. what you didn’t expect is that, it didn’t happen. your imagination became false when you felt his lips onto yours.
you felt like time stopped. your eyes were wide in shock and your body became still. you felt sunghoon’s fingers slowly reach your waist, digging into them to be closer to you.
his eyes were close and his lips were slowly moving, hesitant to continue. your eyes were slowly closing as you realized that sunghoon is indeed kissing you.
you can hear your rapid heartbeat echoing in your head and you stopped crying. you can imagine yourself a blushing mess and your thoughts are all over the place.
the park sunghoon is kissing me.
sunghoon let go (unfortunately) and looked at you while you were processing at what happened. sunghoon saw your cheeks becoming more red but didn’t comment about it. he instead, fixed your hair strands from your face and put them behind your ear. he noticed a snowflake falling onto your nose. he wanted to kiss it but he controlled himself.
“i’m sorry. i didn’t know it were yours.” sunghoon’s hand slowly reached to the side of your face, his thumb staying at your tear stained cheek as he gently rubbed your skin. you leaned towards his soft touch. “fuck y/n i really am sorry.” he apologized once again, feeling utterly terrible.
“i only said that because i like you. i only said that bullshit because i’m in love with you, not anyone else. i didn’t want anyone else but you.” you were at a loss of words.
“i like the way you help others before yourself, how passionate you look like talking about the things you like, how you look so focused on the classes i don’t even like, the cookies you baked for the class, i liked them. i liked every bite of them. i like your eyes, your hair, your voice-” your eyes dilated at the sudden confession sunghoon is making about you as he starts looking at the ground because he can’t look at you in the eyes when he’s confessing his love for you.
“shit i-i didn’t know it was yours, i didn’t mean to hurt you last week-“ sunghoon was rambling whatever what was coming on top of his head. he wanted to ramble to show how regretful he is.
“hey,” you softly spoke, catching sunghoon’s attention. he looked at you with sadness and disappointment, especially in himself. he doesn’t deserve a girl like you. you just smiled at him as he was wondering why you aren’t punching him in the face.
well, you did call him a bitch…
“you didn’t know it was from me, it’s only natural to react like that. i became an idiot and didn’t talk to you about the letters, i was just a coward because i was scared to be rejected by you.” you chuckled at yourself, shivering at the cold despite being covered by sunghoon’s coat.
sunghoon noticed and pulled the coat tighter on you. he even buttoned you up so the snow won’t touch your clothes. you can’t help but feel warm on the inside. “yeah an idiot for running without a jacket.” he replied, pouting at your stubbornness.
“i’m assuming that you threw them away?” you asked sunghoon as he guilty looked away. you weren’t mad at him, for he didn’t know. “i’ll start writing them again.” you said confidently. you didn’t know where your boldness was coming from.
sunghoon looked at you with sparks on his eyes. “but on one condition.” you suddenly said, using your index finger.
“mhm go on i’m listening.” sunghoon stared at you with a loving gaze and his hands wrapped around your waist and you suddenly can’t speak.
is this his way of flirting?
abruptly, you stood on your tippy toes and pecked his lips. sunghoon was caught off guard when he felt your lips on him. you looked at him innocently when his lips were ajar. you smiled cheekily at him.
“shit y/n,” he pressed his chest with his palm. “you can’t do stuff like that.” he pouted and you can’t help but giggle at the sight you’re seeing.
“like what?”
sunghoon leaned down towards you. “two can play that game.” you saw sunghoon smirked as he whispered to you, feeling his warm breath onto your skin.
you were about to ask him what he meant but he beat you to it when both of his hands cupped your face, making your cheeks squished. he smiled at the sight before kissing you once again and the warm feeling inside of you happens once again. both of you felt it.
the feeling, it felt so right. your lips felt perfect onto his. you smiled against the kiss and sunghoon felt it. he smiled into the kiss as well. he tilted his head to the side, kissing you deeper. you couldn’t breathe both literally and figuratively.
both of you stopped, panting for air. both of you leaned away but sunghoon still cupped your cheeks because he wanted to be close to you. both of you were a blushing mess but kept quiet about it as you kept smiling towards each other, never wanting this to end. you both leaned your foreheads together, being silent but staring into each other’s eyes.
“what the fuck.”
sunghoon turned around and saw jake. you squinted your eyes from afar and saw yunjin staring. the two of them stared at the both of you with a stunned expression.
can’t wait to explain this one.
-
thank you for reading ! <3
@yizhoutv
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haknom · 2 months
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THIS MUST BE MY DREAM — YANG JUNGWON
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∿ 📋 SCORE SHEETS ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Jungwon was living his best life at Earl View Academy. He was scoring the highest marks, dominating every exam, and ranking the top one out of every student. See, he was living his best life at Earl View Academy before you came along, destroying his reputation because of your similar level in academics. It had to be a dream, there was no way someone could compete with him. With that said, he immediately renamed you as the new student to his one and only arch nemesis.
∿ TOP RANKS ✂️ academic-rival!jungwon x fem!reader (ft. jungwon from enhypen, baekseung from epex, and minji from newjeans)
∿ EXAM REVIEW ⟡ insp by doctor slump, long fic, academic rivals to lovers, rivals to lovers, highschool au, nerds to lovers, fluff, crack, and angst.
∿ 📔 STUDY NOTES ୨ৎ swearing, bickering, mentions of pills (painkillers), skipping meals, fainting, crying, being sick, and mental health issues, lmk if i missed anything.
∿ NUMBER OF EXAM QUESTIONS 🎓 14980 words
∿ FEEDBACK . . . and with that said it’s finally done!!!!! took me two months cs i took so many breaks …. happy belated jungwon day? LMFAO… and tysm to @soov for proofreading all the way !!! love u rei <33
∿ STUDY PLAYLIST 🎶 click here!
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RANK ONE.
In Earl View Academy, everyone wanted to live Jungwon’s life. He was a son everyone wanted—not his words—and that made him feel good about himself. Even if he was quite the goofball, he still aced all his assignments while having fun.
His life was perfect. 
“Jungwon!” His friend, Baekseung called, gaining his attention almost immediately. The boy looked over at his brown-haired friend with a smile, pausing the movements of his pencil gliding against his notebook. 
“Hm?” He hummed, waiting for his friend to continue talking. Baekseung took a seat on the window sill beside Jungwon as Minji walked into the classroom. 
“Did you see the banner they hung up? It has something to do with University, I believe.” He said as Minji walked towards them.
“Here.” She held out her phone, showing the boys a picture of the banner. It showcased a brief description of what to expect when applying to the University of Seoul and the date of submission—February 9th of 2024.
Jungwon’s birthday.
It was perfect timing, almost as if it was destined to be. His reputation at school and his relationship with his teachers would easily help him get accepted, right? 
“The acceptance rate is 40%, which isn’t all bad, but many people apply, so…” Minji explained, turning off her phone, and shoving it into her back pocket. Jungwon tapped his pencil against his chin to a random, yet consistent rhythm in his head.
Jungwon’s friends always enabled his confidence. He was aware of his smartness, but they made it seem bigger than it really was. 
“Although a lot of people apply, I’m sure you’ll get accepted. Your application will catch their eyes immediately, trust me.” 
Jungwon bit back a smile at Baekseung’s words, sending him an amused nod instead. 
“I’m sure it will.” He replied, returning his focus to his notes. Before his friends appeared, he was working on a few equations, to make sure they stuck with him for their test.
It was his way of studying; learn the materials in class and study them like his life depended upon it. 
It worked like a charm every time.
“I don’t get how you understand these things.” Baekseung said while peeking over at his work. Jungwon smiled, letting out a chuckle. 
He never did, it wasn’t anything new. 
“See, you start with your values, then you write out your formula and substitute your variables for your numbers—”
“Enough! You lost me at the word ‘values.’” He exclaimed, causing both Jungwon and Minji to laugh. 
“Hey, when you get accepted into the University of Seoul, don’t forget me.” Baekseung pleaded and leaned in with his hands desperately clasped together. 
“I won’t, I won’t.” 
Jungwon dropped his pencil, letting it lay flat on his notebook, and placed his hands on top of Baekseung’s.
“You have nothing to worry about.” He said, playing along with Baekseung’s act. 
“I don’t get how I was pulled into this trio,” Minji said, cringing at the sight before her.
“Yeah, me neither.” Baekseung smiled at Jungwon, then, removed his hands from underneath his, and returned to his spot on the window sill.
“Oh well, here we are now. You love us, right?” Jungwon teased, the cringing expression never leaving Minji’s face.
The two boys stared at her in silence, waiting for her response. They wouldn’t let her off the hook if she didn’t open her mouth to say anything.
“Fine. I do.” She replied, earning bright smiles from her friends in return. She shook her head, a small smile making its way to her face. 
It was impossible to avoid their faces. Even if they weren’t trying, they still managed to swoon her over with one look. They were unstoppable together.
Jungwon went back to studying as Minji and Baekseung playfully bickered over a past memory. It was a common occurrence, nothing new.
“I heard they’re selling Yakult in the cafeteria today!” A classmate said to their friend, gaining the three’s attention immediately.
They stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. They gave each other a look that only they could understand. There were no words shared, only their eyes held their words.
Soon after, Baekseung and Jungwon got up from their spots, following behind Minji who led them out of the classroom.
Yakult was their favourite thing ever. It was something all three of them could agree on—that they tasted delightful. Other than that, they all had different tastes in a way.
“Finally, they’re bringing it back!” Minji cheered, happier than ever. Baekseung, who stood in the middle, wrapped his arms around the two to pull them in closer.
“Do we have a plan?” He asked as Minji scoffed.
“Do we even need one? Just do whatever your mind tells you to.” She said and he nodded. 
“Smart choice.” 
The two conversed alone just as they did back in the classroom, except Jungwon wasn’t studying. He could’ve been included in their conversation right now, they weren’t excluding him at all.
He just didn’t pay attention. He didn’t even take note that they were talking because it all sounded muffled to him. 
All he paid attention to was his homeroom teacher who walked down the hallways, lips moving as if he was talking to someone, but Jungwon didn’t know who.
Once he walked past, it was then revealed. A girl stood fairly behind his homeroom teacher, catching Jungwon’s attention. 
He had no clue who she was, nor had he ever seen her face before, he ‘didn’t’ even care about what her name was, what time she arrived, what foods she liked, why she was wearing their school’s uniform, or what she had for breakfast.
All he cared about was how pretty she was, and fine, maybe what her name was too. Previously, if someone were to tell him about another being heaven-sent he wouldn’t understand them. 
Now, he really does because she, she was heaven-sent to him at least.
“You okay?” Baekseung asked, looking over at Jungwon’s dazed figure. He shook Jungwon with the arm that rested over his shoulder, startling the poor boy.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m okay.” 
Well, he hoped he was.
“Sweet, if I’m not wrong, lunch starts in about 3 minutes. Therefore, I believe we’ll be first…” Baekseung paused, his voice growing quieter at the sight before them.
“… In line.” His words were almost like a whisper. He was practically speechless at the line. At least 20 students were already waiting for their Yakult’s. 
“Yeah, um, maybe we do need a plan,” Minji said, regretting her previous words. There was no way they’d get through a line like this one. 
“Maybe? We 100% need a plan.” Baekseung said, his arms slipping off their shoulders. 
“I’m sure we’ll be fine if we just wait. It can’t be that bad—Woah! Okay. Maybe it is bad.” Jungwon’s reassuring words were cut off by his shocked ones. 
The line extended even further. How was that even possible?
“Hey, Min, what time is it?” Jungwon asked Minji as she checked her phone that previously sat in her back pocket. 
“11:37 AM.” She replied, still flabbergasted at the number of students waiting for their Yakult’s. 
“Do you think that will be enough time to visit the nearest convenience store and then come back?” Jungwon asked, desperate for an escape. He was still craving a Yakult, but they wouldn’t get one at this rate.
“It’s 27 (81 Fahrenheit) degrees Celsius outside…”  Baekseung muttered, mentally sweating at the thought. 
“We can get ice cream as well…” Jungwon whispered, scared that the line of students would overhear his words and run after them. 
What if they were craving ice cream too? It wasn’t just the three of them who were feeling hot.
“Smart choice. Yeah, let’s do that instead.” Minji cautiously walked away from the entrance of the cafeteria, careful not to make a sound as the two boys did the same.
Yes, they were being very dramatic right now, but that line of students was very intimidating.
The three returned to class with leftovers of their ice creams, hoping nobody would ask them for at least one lick—it was disgusting to know that they were serious.
“Oh, Jungwon,” Minji said, remembering something from earlier. Jungwon hummed in response, his mouth full of ice cream. 
“Did you even start your applications? Our midterms are soon, so I’m sure our guidance counsellors are going to approach you about it.” 
“Are you worried for me? Or do you want to use my application as a template for yours?” 
“I…” Minji stayed silent as Baekseung stifled a laugh. She sent him a glare, causing him to clear his throat. What was he laughing at? He was bound to do the same exact thing. 
“Fine, you caught me. But hey, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do!” She exclaimed as Jungwon chuckled, getting up from his seat to throw away his ice cream wrapper. 
“If you want, I can assist you—”
“Guys, guys!” A classmate shouted while running into the classroom shocked. Everyone’s heads turned to look at the said boy, more confused than ever. What lie was he about to spurt next?
“I just saw a pretty, pretty girl in the teacher’s office. I think she’s a new student.” He explained, however, nobody reacted.
“Are you lying to cover up the fact you were being scolded in the office?” Another classmate asked, causing laughs to erupt from other students in the room. Jungwon smiled to himself, that was a good one.
“I’m serious! I heard she might even be smarter than Jungwon!” The student exclaimed, causing Jungwon’s smile to falter and his pen to stop moving.
All eyes were focused on him as he slowly looked up at the shouting boy. 
“Eh, I’m sure there’s no one who can compare to his level!” Baekseung said, patting Jungwon on his shoulder and smiling. 
Jungwon was considered very smart for someone his age. It was a common compliment he received, but he didn’t hate it. It was quite ego-boosting.
“Everyone! Have a seat please.” Ms. Eun walked through the doors of their classroom, and another student walked in a few moments later. 
“Obviously, I’m sure you’re aware of the new student joining our class today! Please make (Name) (Last Name)  feel welcome in our classroom!” She explained as Jungwon’s eyes widened.
You were the same girl he saw in the hallways earlier. For some reason, his heart skipped a beat and his ears went numb at the sight of you.
“Oh, Jungwon. (Name) also got perfect on the entrance exam and was the top student at her old school. It must be great to meet someone at your level.” Ms. Eun smiled as all the emotions Jungwon had felt earlier plummeted.
So his classmate wasn’t lying. There was really someone who matched his skill of knowledge. 
You looked over at the boy Ms. Eun referred to, noticing the way his expressions switched. At first glance, he was calm, but his eyes said otherwise.
They held an emotion you’ve never seen in anyone else’s—a desire to win. And, of course, you wouldn’t let him achieve that goal of his.
If someone were to win and maintain that top student rank, it would be you and you only.
You two hadn’t even spoken to one another, but within those 2 minutes of staring into each other’s eyes, it was obvious you both saw each other as a threat.
No matter what, only one of you can have that title.
RANK TWO.
“Jungwon, you haven’t looked up from your notebook this whole class,” Minji said, turning around in her seat to face him.
“Literally! There’s not even a single test coming up. What is there to be reviewed at this point?” Baekseung chimed in with a frown.
Yet, Jungwon didn’t look up, easily proving their point. It had been a week since you first arrived at Earl View Academy. 
A week since Jungwon first felt threatened by your appearance. His life was perfect until you arrived.
His friends swore they hadn’t had one single hangout since then, but he said otherwise.
“You do know, you reviewing your notes while Minji and I converse without you, isn’t a hangout right?”
Jungwon’s pencil stopped moving for a brief moment, only to start up again at an even faster pace.
He couldn’t fall behind you. 
He glanced over at your focused state, glaring in the process. You seemed to be at ease and he wasn’t. 
That should’ve been him. 
What happened to the perfect life that everyone wanted to live? The one where he could be happy and carefree even while passing all his classes with 100s? 
“Don’t tell me you feel threatened—”
Jungwon’s pencil-led snapping silenced Baekseung’s voice almost immediately. He looked up at his friend, eyes darker than usual. There wasn’t his signature gleam that complimented his dimpled smile. He looked like he was ready to kill someone.
“Minji…” Baekseung called, signalling for her to take over the conversation. Sadly, that failed. She was just as scared as him.
“Hey, I could, uh… I could sharpen this for you!” She exclaimed, instead of continuing the same topic as before. 
She took the pencil out of his hold, but Jungwon silently searched his pencil case for another one.
He had no time to waste. He was almost done with his notes.
Minji took her seat again, placing the boy’s broken pencil beside his notebook with a soft, yet dragged-out ‘okay.’
There would’ve been no point in going anyway. 
“Dude, why don’t you let loose a bit?” A classmate said to their friend and began shaking their shoulders. 
“I can’t! You know how my mom is about my grades right now…” He mumbled, embarrassed. 
The boy from earlier grabbed his basketball that rolled under his desk and bounced it around him.
“I know you want to play basketball right now, but that’s okay. I’ll just play with Jungwon and his friends.” He informed his friend, turning to look at Jungwon who wasn’t paying attention.
“Yo, Jungwon! Catch this!” He shouted, alerting both of his friends, but him.
He passed the ball, expecting Jungwon—or even Baekseung—to catch the ball, however, there was nothing.
Instead, the loud thud of a ball hitting your head, echoed throughout the classroom. At least, that managed to catch Jungwon’s attention.
Your pen fell out of your hand, landing on the desk. Your ears began to ring as frustration—and a bit of lightheadedness—took over your system.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” The classmate said, making his way over to you with a worried look.
It was only your second day and you were making enemies.
Yet, you couldn’t bother to accept his apology. You looked at him with a facial expression that not even his mom had ever given him. He was terrified.
“Does this classroom look like a circus to you?” You asked as a throbbing pain slowly began to settle in your head. 
“Are you so unskilled that you can’t even hold a basketball properly? Actually, are you so childish to the point where you aren’t aware of classroom rules?” 
The atmosphere of the classroom vastly shifted. It was quite intense and unsettling. 
His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water stunned by your words. He was speechless, how could he respond to that?
“Please leave me alone, you’d only be a distraction to my studies.” With that said, you returned to your work, acting as if the boy in front of you didn’t exist.
Jungwon’s brows furrowed at the sight, you were being so mean and for what? 
The boy shamefully walked back to his seat as all his friends held in their laughs. He was already embarrassed enough, their laughs only adding to the fire.
Forget what Jungwon said about you being heaven-sent, the Devil must’ve sent you instead. He swore if he stared even longer, horns would grow on your head at any given moment.
So, he looked away and continued taking his notes. 
“She seems mean,” Baekseung whispered to the two around him. Minji nodded in agreement, mentioning how she got chills from how you stared at the boy. 
You proceeded to rub at your temples in an attempt to force away the throbbing migraine coming your way. You couldn’t take a break from studying.
You had to finish reviewing this material before anything at all—not even a meal break was allowed in your Book of Rules.
“What do you guys want to do for lunch?” Baekseung asked, gaining Jungwon and Minji’s attention again. 
“I heard they’re going to play Basketball in the gym. You two should play as well!” Minji exclaimed, which only resulted in Jungwon’s head perking up at the sport.
“I’m down,” Jungwon said almost immediately. Baekseung and Minho’s eyebrows rose at his quick decision. It was almost as if he wasn’t studying his butt off while ignoring his two chattery friends a moment ago.
“Are you sure? I thought you had to revise your notes.” Baekseung verbalised his confusion as Jungwon began packing up his belongings.
“I already understand everything. A + B = X times 6–”
“Okay! Okay. No more Math, please.” Baekseung was quick to halt Jungwon’s equation with his index finger. He slowed down his pace when zipping up his backpack, taking in the words Baekseung uttered before. 
A smile made its way to the boy’s face at the realisation of his friend's confusion. Baekseung definitely had no clue what they were learning in class.
“Hurry! I don’t want to be late for team decisions.” He exclaimed, hopping off of the desk he sat on.
Jungwon waved off his friend’s pestering and walked out of the classroom, the two trailing behind him. 
You, on the other hand, struggled to focus on your work. The whole classroom was quiet and you were the only one left. Everyone had left for lunch, but you. 
Yes, you loved quiet, however your migraine didn’t. The accompanied silence only made your migraine throb even more, a faint mic feedback noise to back it up.
Almost like you had a fever.
You placed your pencil down beside your notebook on your desk and stood up from your seat. 
A quick stop at the nurse's office wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? It would benefit your studying session and get rid of your pain quite easily.
That was the only exception to your Book of Rules when it came to studying. Nothing else.
Jungwon shot the ball into the hoop, his hair and necktie flowing with his every movement. His uniform sleeves were rolled up, cuffed around the skin above his forearm, helping his gameplay style quite well.
Baekseung smiled at his friend, high-fiving him in the process. 
“Nice one! They won’t beat us at this rate.” He said, looking at the scoreboard that read 17-9. Maybe he wasn't exaggerating it like every other time.
Jungwon grinned, his dimples showing faintly. It wasn’t an all-tooth grin, more toothless. His lips were pursed into a thin line and his cheekbones were nearing his under eyes. It was enough to show his appreciation for his friend’s compliment.
His forehead was becoming a slightly sweaty state, causing his previously parted bangs to clump together and loosely stick to the damped skin.
There were 8 more points until the match was done. They didn’t have much time to play 4 full quarters, so they made a bet; first to 25 wins. 
Sadly, no rewards could have been won by the players, making this Basketball game more enjoyable than competitive. 
Jungwon didn’t have enough time though, he would almost need to return to studying quite soon. Seriously, he couldn’t fall behind someone like you.
“Baek,” Jungwon whispered, hoping it was enough to gain his friend’s attention who stood across from him on the court, but it wasn’t enough at all. 
“Baekseung!” Jungwon called while raising his voice a bit over his usual tone. The said boy looked over with widened eyes in shock.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungwon said, fighting back a snicker at his friend’s startled state.
“Well, I have to go now. Tell Min I said bye too.” He said and walked past Baekseung, patting his shoulder as a way of saying goodbye. 
As he walked out of the gymnasium doors, he shook his head, causing his hair strands to move around, some still sticking on his forehead.
He stretched his limbs and began revising the lesson from earlier. 
The hallways were empty, leaving him with more of a quiet atmosphere to focus on his thoughts. 
Jungwon’s lips moved, soft whispers of equations and problems leaving them. If there were other people here, they would give him the dirtiest looks right now. He most definitely looked psychotic. 
Luckily, there wasn’t anyone. Yet.
The sound of the door sliding shut caught his attention and he looked up to see where it came from. 
The nurse’s office was always a popular spot in their school, so it wasn't a shock that someone was leaving the room at this exact moment. 
Surprisingly, it was a shock to him. He never thought you were the type to leave your desk ever.
Your brows furrowed at the sight before you. 
A sight of disgust.
Yang Jungwon was the last person you wanted to see with your throbbing migraine. He was all sweaty, his hair glistened from the sweat droplets that stuck onto the strands, his necktie was loose, his uniform was dishevelled, and his face was a light shade of red due to the hotness of the gymnasium.
He looked disgusting.
Jungwon had no clue as to why you were glaring at him. He wasn’t the reason you ended up visiting the nurse’s office, so why were you giving him such a dirty look?
He should be the annoyed one at this exact moment. After all, you were the one who moved to Earl View Academy and ruined his ‘perfect’ life.
He looked back at you with a confused yet irritated expression on his features as the two of you stood in silence.
Jungwon’s eyes looked over your appearance, noticing how your hand was propped against your chest and holding an item he had seen before.
Your eyes followed his gaze and then widened at realisation. Out of reflex, you hid the painkillers behind your back, not wanting to come off as weak towards him.
You couldn’t let him see you as someone who wasn’t that much of a threat to his academic success. 
In silence, you turned around, moving the pill bottle to your chest again, and made your way back to the classroom. For some reason, your movements aggravated Jungwon’s previous calm state.
God, he hated you so much. He couldn’t believe he once thought you were pretty—it would be a lie if he said he still didn’t. That didn’t matter though, you could be pretty and still have a snotty attitude. 
That was a perfect description for you.
Although you thought you left Jungwon behind in front of the nurse’s office, to your dismay, you didn’t. 
There he was, standing at the doorway of your once previous quiet study room—or in other words, your homeform classroom.
You rolled your eyes after noticing him at the doorway and looked back at your notes. 
He ignored your response to his presence and took a seat at his desk near the window. Jungwon slipped his hand into his backpack, grabbing his pencil case and notebook in the process.
A tense silence followed the two of you as you flipped your pages in sync and continued writing down more things in sync.
You were pausing more than he was due to the pain in your head which only slowed down your movements even more. Yes, you planned on taking the painkillers, but not when he was around.
Still, you couldn’t hold back. You had to do it or else you wouldn’t be able to study one bit. 
Although the painkillers mentioned eating a meal before intaking the pills, you refused to follow the instructions. You had no time to take a break and find something to fill your stomach, especially when you were already falling behind Jungwon’s studying pace.
You reached for your bottle of water off your desk and popped a pill in your mouth, scarfing down water right after. 
Jungwon looked up at the sound of pills shaking in a bottle. It was obvious it came from you, you were the only other person in the classroom.
It seemed like the basketball to your head earlier really took a toll on you. He didn’t blame you though, it truly did sound like it hurt.
Except, that wasn’t the only thing he noticed. Even if he was in one place all lunch, it seemed like you didn’t leave your seat at all. It was kept the exact same like he last saw it before lunch time.
Luckily, the sound of your stomach growling was enough to answer his unsaid question as he watched your ears turn a shade of red.
As much as you tried to pretend that didn’t happen, you were tremendously embarrassed. Still, you couldn’t eat. 
Not yet at least.
“You didn’t hear that.” You mumbled, hoping it was loud enough for Jungwon to catch. He hummed in response while eyeing his work, not paying much attention to your silly incident. 
He knew how embarrassing it could have been, so it was best not to engage. 
Thankfully, God was on your side, ringing the bell a few seconds after Jungwon had hummed. 
Soon after, students began flooding into the classroom and heading to their seats in loud crowds. 
Therefore, your quiet time with the last person you wanted to spend it with, had ended. 
RANK THREE. 
“Jungwon and (Name), please come up and answer the questions on the board.” 
Great. 
It was only 10:30 AM on a Wednesday, and yet you were already going head-to-head with your rival.
Jungwon confidently made his way to the chalkboard and picked up a piece of chalk from the ledge. 
You, on the other hand, paused for a moment after getting up from your seat. You were suddenly feeling lightheaded, and that was never a good sign.
However, if you didn’t make it over fast enough, he would for sure beat you in a blink. And so, you did. You rushed over and picked up a chalk stick, then began writing.
It was a simple equation to you, but to everyone else who didn’t understand the lesson, it wasn’t. It was way more complex to them than how it really was.
Jungwon was already halfway through answering the question whilst you haven’t even started. You wrote the given values on the side to keep track of the numbers you would use. 
Easy, right?
Not quite. 
You couldn’t focus at all even if there were no distractions nor was it loud in your classroom. 
The only thing you could hear was the harsh sounds of Jungwon pressing his chalk against the board after he reached a new step. 
Your ears became sensitive to any sound, causing you to even take note of the rhythm his piece of chalk followed when gliding against the blackboard. It was irritating you and annoying.
As much as you wanted to stop him from writing, you couldn’t because it was impossible. Your hand wouldn’t move one bit. Your vision became blurry, eyes fluttering shut and opening in a pattern. 
“I think I’m going to faint.” You whispered, your words falling deaf on all ears, aside from Jungwon’s.
He didn’t pay much attention to your sentence, brushing it off as a dumb remark about his handwriting or something. 
Truthfully, his calligraphy wasn’t the best when it came to using chalk, so you wouldn’t be wrong if you were to say something mean about it. He would only end up agreeing in the end.
Everything stilled for a brief moment before you lost your feeling in your hands, dropping the piece of chalk you held, and falling against the hardwood floor right after.
Gasps were emitted from your classmates—ones you couldn’t even hear—as Jungwon stilled his movements at the loud thud which caused him to flinch slightly.
Jungwon looked down as he still pressed the chalk on the board, his eyes widening and blood draining from his face at the sight.
“(Name)?” Your teacher called, hurriedly making her way towards your unconscious figure. However, there was no response.
“Hey, Jungwon, you were on the track team last year, right?” Ms. Ling asked as he nodded, swallowing and hoping the nauseated feeling in his stomach would disappear.
Spoiler alert—it didn’t. 
“Could you run her to the nurse’s office, please?” She asked, leaving the boy with no other choice but to say yes. If he were to say no, he would seem like a villain, and he couldn’t let that happen.
“Okay.” He mumbled and placed the chalk on the ledge before crouching down, slipping an arm under your legs, and wrapping one around your back for extra support.
To his surprise, you were awfully light. A little too light for an average person. It was quite concerning.
Jungwon shook his head, making all his thoughts disappear in the process. He had no time to waste, he had to get you to the nurse’s office quickly—his teacher’s words, not his.
He slid open the door with his foot, shocked that he even managed to succeed himself, and placed you on an unoccupied bed.
Mrs. Oh, the nurse, emerged from her office with a concerned look after noticing the rush Jungwon was in. 
“What’s wrong?” She asked before seeing you who lied unconsciously on the bed. 
“She fainted a few moments ago in class.” He explained while running a hand through his hair, followed by a sigh.
“Fainted?” The nurse asked and made her way to your still figure, reaching out to touch your pulse points.
“I don’t think it’s a fatal issue. Just hang around for a bit, I’ll run some short tests then you can tell your teacher why she fainted.” Mrs. Oh said as Jungwon nodded. 
He could just ask for the notes from Minji after class. 
A few moments later, Mrs. Oh returned with a clipboard in her hand and a concerned look on her face.
“Is it bad?” Jungwon asked, slightly worried about her response.
“Oh, no.” Mrs. Oh said, reassuring the boy, then opened her mouth to say something else.
“Thing is, she hasn’t eaten for the last two days.” 
What?
RANK FOUR.
Jungwon walked down the hallways of the school, heading to the vending machine nearby. Mrs. Oh’s words replayed in his head many times. It had been a day since your visit to the nurse’s office, but he was still hooked on Mrs. Oh’s discovery.
He didn’t know why he cared that you hadn’t eaten for two days. That was your problem not his.
Yet, he couldn’t help but feel quite worried about your health. How the hell were you still at his level of academic achievements even if you weren’t eating to fuel your brain?
It was crazy. Not even he could survive an hour without a small snack to keep him going. So, how did you even manage to survive?
More of Mrs. Oh’s words flooded through Jungwon’s head, mainly focusing on the fact she put him in charge of making sure you were eating.
Was it not obvious you two hated each other? Well, maybe not since you were fast asleep, but to him it was.
What the hell was he supposed to do to monitor your food intake? Buy you snacks and drinks from the vending machines at their school? 
Actually… that wasn’t such a bad idea. It could work for him, but would it work for you? Would you even accept his offers?
You were hard to work with in the first place. There was no way he would follow upon Mrs. Oh’s request. That was your problem and only yours. Not his.
Nevertheless, that didn’t explain the fact he was currently punching in the number two into the vending machine, expecting two granola bars to follow through the hole.
Of course, it wouldn’t be enough to fill him up this lunch, but he had no other choice. He was already exhausted enough from playing football outdoors, leaving him with no more energy to wait in line for food in the cafeteria.
He grabbed the granola bars and made his way to room 116—his home room. 
He was excited for the peace and quiet he was about to experience. Nobody ever came to school this early. It was 7:30 AM after all.
School started at 8:20 AM. 
If you were to show up at the bell, he could save the granola bar until lunch and give it to you when the room was empty.
Nobody could know that he was interacting with you, especially not after you two made it clear you wanted nothing to do with each other.
“Oh, hey, Jungwon! It’s been quite a bit since I saw you first thing in the morning.” A faculty member said, greeting the boy. He smiled at the teacher and nodded.
It wasn’t a lie. Jungwon always came early, yes, but he never went straight to class. He was either shooting hoops in the gym or doing his morning jog around the track in the field.
The September breeze blew the trees outside as Jungwon watched the leaves sway while walking to class. The windows in the hallways were wide, emitting a bright light into Earl View Academy.
It really suited the vibe he was going for.
But you didn’t.
Jungwon noticed your focused figure, his mood dropping immediately. He was glad you were okay, but not glad that you were in class.
He wanted alone time today, nothing else.
Jungwon put on a straight face, avoiding eye contact with you while walking to his seat. He swiftly placed the granola bar on your desk and moved away as if he didn’t.
You looked down at the granola bar, then to the boy who walked away in silence.
Before you could say anything, he was quick to silence your ‘irritating’ voice.
“Just eat it. Mrs. Oh is making me monitor your meals even if I don’t want to.” 
He said without any other explanation. You looked back at the granola bar, hearing Jungwon sit down and begin opening his snack due to the loud rustling of the wrapper.
Instead of doing the same, you pushed the granola bar to the side and returned back to your studies. Once again, your ‘Book of Rules’ said no meals until you were done reviewing.
Jungwon opened his notebook, flipping through the filled pages to find an empty one and begin his studying. He was holding the granola bar in one hand and eating at the same time.
It wasn’t hard at all, which only confused him since you weren’t doing the same.
“Aren’t you going to eat it?” He asked, but you ignored him, staring into your notebook in silence. 
The boy scoffed, looking out the window in disbelief. He doesn’t even know why Mrs. Oh trusted him with this ‘task’. He couldn’t say no though, he would have felt guilty to face her again.
Honestly, he was still shocked at the news from yesterday. What did she mean you didn’t eat for 2 days? 
Was this an often routine of yours? Was that why you were so concerningly light when he carried you? You were always studying and never seemed like you took any breaks, which only left him wondering.
Seriously, did you ever eat?
“What?” You asked, stiffening and turning around to look at the bow. There was a look of annoyance present on your face, only causing Jungwon to stare back in confusion.
“What?” He questioned back. Why were you looking at him like that even after you blatantly ignored him a moment ago?
“Why is it your business if I ever eat or not?” 
Hold on. Did Jungwon think aloud earlier? Was that why you were acting this way?
“I…” He said, fumbling over his words. Truly, how should he respond to that? You weren’t wrong about it not being his business to care—even if you didn’t say that. 
He didn’t want to care if you did or not. Still, he couldn’t explain why he was so curious about it. 
“Mrs. Oh told me in the nurse’s office that you fainted because your last meal was two days ago…” Jungwon began as your brows furrowed.
“So? Why should you care if that were to happen or not?” You asked.
Once again, you weren’t wrong.
“You’re telling me, you wouldn’t be a little bit concerned about someone who hadn’t eaten for 2 days?” 
“If it was part of my business, sure, but if it’s not, then no.”
Jungwon pursed his lips, unsure of what to say next. He tried to think of it, but it ended up coming out on his own. He would definitely regret this later.
“Why?” He started.
“Why do you do that?” 
You remained silent and so did he. There was an obvious tension in the air and the both of you felt it easily.
You averted your eyes away from his overpowering gaze, suddenly feeling all fragile due to his sudden question. 
“Mind your own business.” You mumbled before turning around to face your desk again. 
Normally, you’d return to studying immediately, but this time you were quiet as you stared at your notebook.
You always had answers for questions. Always. However, nobody had ever asked you a question like that, and for some reason, you couldn’t find an answer for it.
Jungwon sighed and shook his head. He didn’t blame you for not answering and getting all defensive instead. It was a question that could pry into anyone’s private life, and obviously, you two were nowhere near a basis like that.
“At least eat the granola bar. I don’t want Mrs. Oh on my ass about anything.” He said before picking up his pencil and writing on his plain notebook. 
At the sound of his words, your gaze shifted to the pink wrapper on the granola, noticing how it was strawberry flavoured, one of your favourites. 
Maybe you could reconsider eating the snack he got you even if it was going against your rules. It was obvious he wouldn’t leave you alone if you didn’t.
You unwrapped the granola bar, making sure to not crush the treat inside as the bell went so suddenly.
You were both shocked at how much time went past at such a fast pace as a certain thought crossed your mind.
It was time to start another school day.
RANK FIVE.
Ever since that day, Jungwon continuously dropped you off snacks in a discreet manner. 
Although you never wanted to eat them, he made you. Your secret rule was slowly being forgotten because of his actions.
“Hey,” he called from his window seat, causing you to remove an earbud from your ear.
“Are you allergic to anything?” 
“Why?” 
Jungwon stared at you in silence. Were you really asking him that question?
“So I don’t get you anything that’ll kill you…” He said in a tone of disbelief, but you didn’t react.
“Why are you still doing this? Mrs. Oh must’ve forgotten about my visit by now. You can stop.” 
You turned away and continued writing in your notebook, leaving Jungwon baffled.
He hated how you were never wrong. Mrs. Oh definitely forgot about your visit from a few weeks ago, but Jungwon couldn’t stop his habit of giving you snacks. 
Why?
“You’re telling me you rather faint continuously?” Jungwon asked, halting the hand that went to put your earbud in your ear.
“That’s not a healthy habit. Seriously, you’re going to end up visiting the ER next.”
“As if that hasn’t happened before.” You mumbled and successfully put your earbud in your ear.
Jungwon’s face contorted in confusion, unsure of what you had said. It didn’t seem like the remark he expected, but he shrugged it off. 
Whatever.
“Jungwon!” Baekseung exclaimed, running up to the boy and hugging him from behind.
Jungwon stumbled over his feet at the sudden embrace as Minji chuckled from behind the two.
“You’re acting like you haven’t seen him in a decade.” She said, crossing her arms once she reached them.
The hallway they stood in was empty—aside from the 3 being there. 
Jungwon wasn’t even aware that he was in the hallway at the moment. His mind was elsewhere when he left the classroom.
Yes, he said he didn’t care about what you said, but he secretly did.
Did he hit a nerve or did he hit one of your soft spots? For the last few weeks, it was obvious there was a lot to you that nobody knew of, yet, Jungwon was close to finding them out.
He felt bad due to your reaction from earlier and a few days ago. Maybe he should really watch what he says from now on.
“What’s up? Do you have your head up in the clouds or something?” Baekseung asked, teasingly.
Jungwon shook out of his thoughts and looked at the boy.
“That was terrible. Never say that again.” He said, causing Baekseung to frown and Minji to laugh.
“Still, he’s right. What’s up with you lately?” Minji asked.
The three walked down the hallways, passing time before their next period started. 
“What do you mean what’s up with me?” He asked, confused at their questions. 
“You’re constantly spacing out today. Plus, you’re never running or playing basketball outside in the mornings either. I haven’t seen you for a bit every time I arrive at school.” Baekseung explained.
“Dude!” He exclaimed, tapping Jungwon’s shoulder to bring him back from his trance. 
Jungwon looked over at Baekseung, startled from the harsh tap.
“What was that for?!” He exclaimed.
“You were doing it again. Seriously, what’s up with you?” 
The three remained silent upon Baekseung’s question; Minji and Baekseung waited for Jungwon’s response while he thought of one.
What the hell was he supposed to say? 
“Is it her?” Minji asked, chiming into Jungwon’s thoughts.
“Your rival.” She added after seeing Jungwon’s confused face.
He didn’t reply to her question, instead he stayed quieter than ever. Not a peep came out of his mouth. They were almost sure he stopped breathing too.
“So it is! I knew it. Pay up, Baekseung.” Minji said with a bright smile on her face while holding her hand out in front of Baekseung.
Baekseung frowned, glaring at Jungwon as he reached into his pocket for the 10 dollar bill he promised Minji. She looked at the buck, facing the light in case it was fake.
“It’s not fake!” He exclaimed as she chuckled. 
“You never know.” Minji said and slipped the $10 into her pocket.
“Wait, you guys placed a bet on me?” Jungwon asked in disbelief.
“Well, yeah. I bet that you liked (Name) and Baekseung said you were just hooked on your university applications.” Minji said, leaning closer to Jungwon. 
“He knows nothing about love.” 
“I do!” Baekseung blurted, embarrassed at Minji’s remark. She looked over at her and shushed him with a finger on his lip.
“No, you don’t. Just accept that.” 
Jungwon shook his head, still shocked at what his friends managed to do. Why would he even be hooked on his university applications if he was 100 percent sure he’d get accepted?
Plus, liking you was definitely out of his range. Wait, liking you?
“I don’t like her! What made you ever think that?!” He exclaimed, his hands flying up in defence. 
“Yes. Yes, you do. Don’t fear it, Jungwon.” 
Minji looked over at the boy with a teasing smile. Jungwon was a little terrified at the look Minji gave him with her finger still over Baekseung’s lips.
She truly seemed psychotic. 
He began speed walking away from the two with hopes that he could escape the so-called assumptions. How would Minji know he liked you before he even knew himself? 
Pfft, she was completely wrong.
Jungwon looked at the board, writing his last bits of notes with small diagrams to go along with them. 
He was starving, but luckily, lunch was soon. 
Speaking of lunch, he wondered what snack he should bring you today. You refused to tell him what you were allergic to, so he couldn’t just get you anything.
He looked up from his notebook, stealing a glance at your seat.
Well, he thought it was your seat, but instead, there was someone slouched over the desk instead.
He continued looking around for you, maybe you switched seats without him knowing? 
No, that couldn’t be it. He saw you in the same seat this morning before classes. So, was it really you who was slouched over the desk?
That was surprising. You were always the one to be over the top when it came to education, yet, here you were knocked out mid-lesson.
“For homework, please complete pages 4 and 6. Enjoy your day everyone!” The teacher said while closing their lesson planner and leaving the classroom.
The bell sounded, signalling that lunch had begun while Baekseung and Minji took that as a chance to bother their friend, Jungwon.
“Hey!” Baekseung cheered, sitting down on the window sill like always.
Jungwon looked up at the boy with a smile as Minji turned around in her seat. 
“Seems like you don’t have much of a competition anymore.” She said, silently hinting at the girl who was fast asleep—you.
Not even the bell woke you up. You must’ve had a rough night then.
Even if it had been 5 seconds since Minji spoke, Jungwon’s eyes never left you. He was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.
“Baekseung, didn’t you say you wanted to go to the fast food restaurant nearby for lunch today?” Minji asked, looking up at the boy who stared back in confusion.
“What—” 
Minji silenced him with a light slap on his leg, sending him a glare and mouthed the words ‘play along.’
“Oh, yeah! I’ve been craving a burger all day.” Baekseung blurted while nonchalantly rubbing on his leg and dragging out the word ‘all.’
“Jungwon, did you want anything from the fast food restaurant?” Minji asked and looked at him.
But he was still stuck in his trance. 
“We’ll get him fries.” She whispered to the boy on the window sill. The two left as quietly as they could, leaving you and Jungwon alone in the classroom.
He observed your silent state, watching how your back raised softly as you breathed. The sunlight from the windows shined on your face, making your eyelashes more visible than others.
You looked so peaceful and so relaxed. It was the first time he had ever seen you this calm and not stuffing your head in your notebooks, rubbing at your temples in a stressful way, harshly sighing and placing your pencil down when you were feeling tired or didn’t understand the formula. It was a great sight.
Jungwon was so focused on you that he didn't notice the smile on his face.  
He was smiling because of his arch nemesis. Well, could he even call you his arch nemesis if he cared about you so much?
Probably not.
The vending machine beeped as the four items hit the bottom of it. Jungwon reached down to grab the items and made his way back to class.
Was he out of his mind for still getting you snacks? Possibly. But he couldn’t stop himself, it became a habit of his. 
At least you never wasted the snacks he got you. There was one point of the day where you would eat them casually, not even paying much attention to the item in your hold. It became a habit of yours too.
Eventually, the rule became forgotten, but only at school. It still affected you at home.
You woke up in a panic. The classroom you sat in was empty, just like your notebook. The one you significantly chose for the subject.
You looked around, eyes squinting at the bright light from the uncovered windows, taking in the fact nobody—not even Jungwon—was with you. 
Great. You were so behind—something you hated.
You panicked, looking at the board to only be met with erase marks of today’s lesson. There was no way you could scavenge with something so little. 
Out of habit, you looked down at your desk and rubbed at your temples with your fingers, more stressed out than ever.
You couldn’t fall behind nor could you fail. That was your worst nightmare. Did your parents care if you were to fail a class or fall behind? Not at all. They only cared about you and your health, yet you hated that.
Honestly, growing up, you tended to be naturally good at the things you did. Your parents were, of course, super proud of you, but you didn’t think it was enough. 
You never thought anything was enough.
So, studying continuously, fainting continuously, and even starving yourself continuously became a natural routine of yours just to seek academic validation.
If you weren’t at the top of your class or your studies, you weren’t sure how your future would turn out. You would probably end up lower than ever.
No wonder you were so frustrated with yourself. How could you slack off, let alone fall asleep all class? That was so not like you. 
You were very disappointed.
The feeling of a sudden coldness on your arm made you jolt. You looked up, wondering where it came from, only to notice the boy who stood before you, Yang Jungwon.
You both looked into each other’s eyes—for the first time, you weren’t glaring. Your vision was quite blurry because of the tears that threatened to fall while he could see you perfectly fine. 
He nonchalantly placed the beverage on your desk followed by the poptart. He then made his way to his seat and sat down silently.
You stared at the two items on your desk, holding back your tears. There was nothing about the bottled coffee or the poptart that made you emotional, it was yourself and Jungwon.
You were jealous of him.
The more you attended Earl View Academy, the more you noticed how everyone adored the boy. Everyone, including staff members.
He made friends quite easily and got along with anyone possible.
However, you were the complete opposite. You had your own circle which consisted entirely of yourself and your studying materials, nothing else.
You rarely conversed with anyone, but when you did, it was always harsh. Things easily ticked you off, causing you to confront the so-called things pretty quickly.
Due to this, you were never envisioned as someone who was approachable. Even if you were on top of your studies and understood everything going on, not even many teachers took a liking to you.
It was rare to see one that did. 
There were a few times where you tried to maintain certain friendships, but they all ended quite fast. Their reasonings were always the same—you never had time to hang out with them, but you always had time to study.
They eventually fell tired of you and left you behind to befriend someone else. They always regretted even trying something with you because it always turned out to be a ‘waste of their time.’
Jungwon placed his opened notebook on your desk so you could copy down the notes he took in class.
“The homework is page 4 and 6 today. If you don’t understand anything, I could explain it to you if you want.” He said before walking back to his seat. 
He shouldn’t be this helpful to you. You two were ‘rivals’ after all—something you both silently yet mutually agreed on. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help himself. Even the sight of your tear filled eyes managed to make him feel a bit hurt.
He probably wasn’t even the cause of it, yet he felt like he was.
“How do you do it?” You asked, catching him off guard. He looked up from his phone and at the back of your head because you refused to face him in such a vulnerable state. 
“Do what? Oh, the work? Hold on, let me—”
“Not that.” You said, interrupting him as he halted in his tracks.
“…Then what?” He asked hesitantly. He genuinely had no clue what you meant. Either Jungwon couldn’t read between the lines, or he was just too stupid.
“How do I be like you?” 
RANK SIX.
Jungwon stood in silence, stunned at your sudden question. He was never asked such a thing from someone like you. 
Children were always the one to ask him that exact question, which only left him with one possible answer every time.
“You’re already like me. Smart and strong.”
It was very cringey, but every child felt confident after hearing his words. Still, you were nowhere near a child, so how could he respond to your question?
“What do you mean?” Was all he could think of. He didn’t want you to seem weak or anything, so he kept it simple and short.
Maybe an elaboration would help him with an answer next time.
“You’re so… perfect. All staff members and students adore you, or even look up to you. You always balance your time, making enough space to hangout with your friends and study at the same time. You’re athletic, smart, most likely a great son, and your parents are probably so proud of you for maintaining the top student rank continuously.” You ranted, leaving him flattered and quite flustered but confused at the same time.
“Perfect?” He asked, genuinely curious about what made you think that. 
“Yes, you’re so perfect. I’m jealous of you.” You added, finishing off your sentence while turning to face him. 
“You’re jealous of me?” 
Truly, in Jungwon’s eyes there was nothing about him to be jealous of. He had his own ups and downs, but managed to keep his composure around his friends and many others.
“Honestly, (Name), you’re fine the way you are. Yes, you have some unhealthy habits, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change.” Jungwon said while walking towards the seat in front of you. 
“I wouldn’t say I’m perfect either. Of course, I’m going to sound a bit cringey, but all of us have things we don’t show. Like, I could’ve cried on my way to class.” 
“Did you?”
“Did I do what?” Jungwon asked while taking a seat. 
“Oh. No, that was just an example. I would never cry where people could see or hear.” 
His eyes slightly widened as he raised his hands up in defence. 
“I didn’t mean you shouldn’t! Do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He said, hoping he didn’t offend you.
You used your sleeves to wipe away the few tears that managed to fall, then looked at the boy in front of you. 
“I don’t know why I’m about to tell you this, but I really need to get it off my chest.” 
“Go on,” Jungwon said in a soft voice.
Although he waited for you to speak, you hesitated. Could you even trust him? You two started off as rivals, and still were rivals, but didn’t show it as much.
Whatever, speaking your mind wouldn’t hurt.
“Honestly, it’s not that I need to be on top of my work for my parents to adore me, they do. They very much do and show it every day, but it’s me who thinks it is not enough.” You said.
“I believe if I’m distracted, I won’t be able to achieve my academic goals to the fullest, you know?” 
Jungwon nodded even if he didn’t get what you meant. He understood achieving your academic goals, but not to the point where he couldn’t do so if he were distracted.
“I mean, yeah, but considering eating meals or taking breaks as a distraction isn’t good for your mental health—or your health in general,” Jungwon explained as your eyes narrowed.
“Are you scolding me right now?” 
“Quite literally.” 
You rolled your eyes at Jungwon’s words, waving them off as if they meant nothing. 
“Pretend this didn’t happen. Tell anyone, and I’ll make sure your life in Earl View Academy is almost unbearable.” You threatened, sending daggers at the boy.
“How so?” He asked, curious as to what tricks you could pull.
“I’ll beat you on every test, I’ll beat you on the final exam, and even make sure you don’t get accepted into University of Seoul.” 
“Okay… However, in return, you have to at the very least tell me what you’re allergic to.” Jungwon said with pleading eyes.
You were shocked that was all he wanted in return. He really wanted to know what you were allergic to, but why? What good would that bring him if he knew what you could and couldn’t eat?
“Why are you so curious about that?”
“Dude, you really want me to end up killing you?” His words sounded like he was joking, but he wasn’t.
“No… I could just eat what I know I can and what I know I can’t.” 
Jungwon continued to stare at you, waiting for you to give him the actual answer he wanted. You sighed and gave into his silent begs.
“There’s nothing.”
He remained quiet, his head tilting like a lost cat.
“There’s nothing that I’m allergic to. I’ll eat anything.” You informed the boy as he held back a smile.
“Perfect.” He whispered before grabbing the notebook he gave you earlier.
“What do you mean by perfect?” You asked, causing Jungwon to glance at you with a slight smile on his lips.
“You’ll see.”
RANK SEVEN.
To be honest, yesterday you went home wondering what Jungwon was hinting at.
He pretended as if he had never brought up anything and proceeded to teach you today’s materials. It was annoying.
Yes, you wanted to know badly, but begging wouldn’t even get him to tell you anything. 
You adjusted your name tag while looking in the mirror, wondering what else you should fix up.
There was 5 minutes before you had to leave for school. Five minutes before you would get to see Jungwon.
You had no clue why you were a bit excited to see him. Usually, you never were. It was weird.
Part of you was glad he listened to what you had to say yesterday, it felt nice to get it off your chest. However, the other part of you felt ecstatic and let your heart thump even at the thought of seeing the boy.
What happened to the part of you that deeply hated him? 
You couldn’t start liking Jungwon. At least, not when there was a possibility that he still hated you or saw you like his competition.
Right?
Jungwon stretched his limbs before reaching down to tie his laces. It had been a while since he ran around the track in the morning. He wanted to see if he still had it in him. 
He couldn’t let his stamina fall because of his so-called continuous studying habits. It was also a great way to get his mind off of things, for example, you.
After yesterday’s conversation, for some reason he felt terrible about what you said. Was it his fault? No. But obviously, there was a time and place where he was in the same boat as you.
Trust him, it wasn’t the best.
This morning, he woke up extra earlier than usual because he had a lot to do—cook. He hand picked a recipe he believed you both would enjoy, and cooked all morning so it was nice and fresh by lunch.
It was way better than constantly getting snacks from the vending machine. Now, you could actually gain nutrients while eating. 
He was very excited.
But why? Why was he excited to share a meal with you? There wasn’t anything going on between, aside from your quiet studying times halfway through lunch, the conversation from yesterday, and the times you two have been paired up or went head-to-head in class.
Other than that, what was there to really be excited about?
Jungwon slowed down his pace, then leaned over while placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.
Or was he just excited to see you? What was the meaning of all this? 
Were you the reason his heart raced as if he did his morning runs whenever he was in class? Were you the reason he was always planning what he wanted to buy the two of you on his way to school? He rarely ever did that when you didn’t attend Earl View Academy.
So, were you really the reason?
You took a seat at your desk, pulling out your studying equipment—a normal routine of yours. You always arrived at the same time, 7:30 AM, with Jungwon arriving a little after.
Shockingly, even with 5 minutes passing, he didn’t appear. That was odd, he was always on time.
You shook your head, brushing off the fact he hadn’t arrived yet. The things he taught you yesterday were the only materials you had to review this morning.
You couldn’t fall behind so easily. 
When you went home, you decided to take a break. A was a rare sight since you were always studying all night and all morning, nobody could stop you.
But for some reason, Jungwon was able to change part of your ‘unhealthy’ studying habits. At your old school, it was impossible for that to happen. Not even your short-term friendships changed anything.
It was the same old ‘Book of Rules’ you followed with no updates. 
The door slid open, showcasing an exhausted Jungwon. He walked over to the seat in front of you and placed the two snacks in an empty spot on your desk then took a seat.
It wasn’t at his actual desk, instead, it was the one in front of you. 
“Why do you seem so tired?” You asked, noticing his droopy eyes.
“I ran around the track today. It’s been a while since I’ve done it, so I guess I pushed my limits.” He explained while yawning. He stretched his arms before examining your desk; there was a partially empty space at the edge of your desk. 
It looked like it could fit most of his arms and head.
“Can I?” He questioned while gesturing at the spot from earlier. You nodded, not giving him any other reaction. 
Your heart was already racing from the ‘close’ proximity he provided. You had to keep it lowkey.
“Thanks. Wake me up a few minutes before the bell.” He said and dozed off to dreamland.
The classroom fell silent, the only thing being heard was the rustling leaves from the wind that travelled through the sky, your pencil gliding on the piece of paper you wrote on, sounding like music to Jungwon’s ears.
It was a relaxing sound. Not even close to irritating.
There were moments where you snuck in a few glances, noticing the way his face looked peaceful and less irritating than when he was wide awake. His breathing was at a usual pace as his back rose and fell at his command.
He was quite the pretty sleeper.
The formula of your work suddenly started to not make any sense. You searched the article you were looking at, realisation only hitting you a bit after.
You were working on your English, not Math. No wonder your formulas weren’t making any sense. Clearly, with how close Jungwon was to you, it was obvious you couldn’t think straight.
How often did someone mix up English work with Mathematics? It was never that often, and yet, you still managed to make the mistake.
You picked up your highlighter, forgetting about the embarrassing situation from earlier, and began highlighting simple concepts that you would need to remember when answering the questions.
Without you knowing, 30 minutes of silence passed between the two of you. You were surprised he didn’t wake up from the sound of your beating heart, because to you, it was quite loud.
You hesitated on waking up the boy in front of you. He was sound asleep. What if he woke up cranky? 
Still, he requested for you to wake him up a few minutes before the bell. He wouldn’t be mad if you did so, right?
You softly placed your hand on his shoulder and gently shook him at a slow pace. There wasn’t much momentum, however, it was still enough to wake him up.
His eyes slowly opened, eyeing the area he sat in.
He could barely see, eyes still blurred with his sleepiness. Jungwon blinked a few times before looking in front of him, spotting your shocked figure.
“Morning.” He mumbled, his words cutting short because of a yawn. He stretched his arms before looking over at the clock.
It was only 8:20 AM. It always shocked you how students weren’t filling up the classroom around this time. They always arrived at least 5 minutes before the bell. Even if it was shocking, it was quite satisfying how everyone was still on time.
“What’re you working on?” Jungwon asked, slightly curious about the reason you held a highlighter. 
“English,” you muttered. He hummed at your words and continued to inspect your desk.
“You didn’t eat?” He asked, pointing at the neatly kept snacks. It looked the same as when he first gave you them. 
You shook your head. You completely forgot about the snacks. Instead, you were more focused on calming your racing heart, so it wouldn’t have woken him up.
“Eat. At least three pieces before the lesson starts.” He said. The snacks he brought the both of you were a small packet of animal crackers. One of Jungwon’s favourites as a child.
You paused for a moment, debating if you should follow through with his request. He was staring at you, once again, causing you to feel fragile under his gaze. There was no way he would stop if you didn’t eat.
You placed your highlighter down and grabbed one of the two packets. Hopefully, that would help his strong state.
Honestly, you couldn’t help but feel taken care of because of Jungwon’s acts. Your parents were amazing to you. There was no doubt about it. Still, with Jungwon, there was a new feeling you’ve never felt with anyone else.
At your old school, you wouldn’t even have a chance at something like this. If you fainted, there was only a tiny bit of shock from others. It happened very often because of your bad habits that it became so natural to those who studied and worked there. 
But if you were to faint around Jungwon or anyone else in this school, they would be very worried. The nurse at Earl View Academy even instructed Jungwon to watch over your eating habits. 
At first, you didn’t like the idea of having a so-called babysitter, but eventually it felt nice to know someone possibly cared about you. He started off as your number one threat, and became the person you looked forward to seeing most. 
To him, you started off as someone he could never trust and his one and only arch nemesis, and became the person he watched over and enjoyed being around. 
Well, look how the tables turned.
“Also,” Jungwon said, chiming into your thoughts. Your attention was then focused onto the boy who stood up from his previous seat with his animal crackers in hold.
“You’re doing great.” He said as the bell rang as if it were completing his sentence. 
He sat in his assigned seat at the window while students began filling up the classroom. Maybe they were a little delayed today, but your heart for sure wasn’t.
You were concerned as to why Jungwon’s words had such an effect on your wellbeing, judging from how fast your heart rate was going.
You didn’t even know it was possible to experience such a rush of adrenaline. Your face felt warm as you recalled his words. 
Was he perhaps referring to yesterday’s incident? 
No matter what the reason was, you’ve never been told something like that. It was always about taking a break and slowing your pace. Even mentioning how you were trying too hard and needed to pay more attention to yourself.
But the words ‘you’re doing great’ were different. It felt like they were filling a void in your life that you didn’t even know existed. 
Whatever it was, you were thankful. 
Thankful for Jungwon. 
Jungwon watched as the ball ricocheted off the rim of the net, sighing in disappointment. 
“Gosh, straighten up.” Baekseung said and tossed the ball back to his friend.
The trio stood inside the empty gymnasium, shooting hoops for fun, until it became serious. Baekseung was quite literally concerned for Jungwon’s wellbeing.
He was missing every one of his shots. 
“You do remember he did Track and not Basketball like you, Baek, right?” Minji asked while flipping through the pages of her book. 
“I mean, yeah, but he’s never this bad.” Baekseung replied, emphasising his words.
“I’m literally right here.” 
“Oh, my bad.” 
Minji chuckled at the two, looking away at her book while placing a bookmark between the two pages she stopped on. 
“Won, what’s on your mind?” She asked. 
Great, here comes round two.
“I swear we didn’t put a bet on anything this time. Feel free to tell us anything.” 
Jungwon sighed, letting himself loose. It was now or never. He needed to settle things, so he could peacefully continue along with his day.
So… 
“How would you confirm your feelings for someone?” 
RANK EIGHT.
Minji blinked her eyes in silence as Baekseung held the basketball in his hand with a dropped jaw.
Judging by their reactions, it was obvious they didn’t know what to say, leaving Jungwon feeling embarrassed.
“Nevermind, forget I said that.”
“No, no.” Minji said, shaking her head.
“We were just… stunned, that’s all.” She reassured Jungwon who’s ears turned a light shade of red out of embarrassment.
“Is this about a particular someone?” Minji questioned, slightly wanting it to be you. 
She had been noticing the difference between Jungwon’s behaviour now and the first time you arrived. Nowadays, he was always looking at you with adoration in his eyes instead of an intense glare.
It was definitely different between you two.
“You know who it is, don’t you?” Jungwon asked, judging by her expression. It looked like she was holding off on saying something. She was terrible at hiding her expressions.
“Wait, I’m so confused,” Baekseung chimed in, dropping the basketball and making his way closer to the two.
“It’s (Name), right? The atmosphere between you two is so much different than before.”
Jungwon remained quiet upon Minji’s words. She wasn’t wrong, but she was very observant. Even Jungwon hadn’t noticed the change between you and him.
“Your silence is the only answer we need.” Baekseung said with a sly smile. 
What? Who wouldn’t act the same way after finding out his best friend had a crush on someone?
“It is…” Jungwon mumbled. 
“Okay. First question is… how do you feel when you’re near her?” 
Oh. 
Well, that could go a long way… There was at least a list of possible feelings, so where should he even start?
“Tingly. I feel tingly.” He said, recalling the moments he was with you.
To be honest, he was shocked you hadn’t realised how red the tip of his ears were when he fell asleep in front of you. It was almost an impossible process for him to sleep, but he managed.
“Sometimes, my ears become warm and my heart flutters at the sight of her smile or if I were to make her laugh…” He paused, thinking of more things to say.
“And—”
“Yeah, you definitely like her.” Baekseung interrupted with a shock yet disgusted look on his face. 
“I do?” Jungwon asked, looking at the boy with wide eyes. 
Baekseung nodded, causing him to look over at Minji who only did the same as Baekseung in return.
“Are you ever going to tell her?” Minji asked, opening up her book once again. 
“I’d embarrass myself terribly. We’re still kinda rivals in some way. Wouldn’t it be weird if I were to suddenly confess my attraction to her?” 
“Okay, Shakespeare, what the hell do you mean by attraction?” Baekseung asked as Minji chuckled. 
“He means feelings, Baek.” 
“Oh… That makes sense. I say do it, what is there to waste? You only live once.” He explained as Jungwon rolled his eyes.
It was a corny saying he had been told all his life, but they were never wrong. Things always turned out good for him if he at least tried them. Therefore, it wouldn’t hurt to profess his love for you, right?
“Jungwon, it’s 11:30, don’t you have to go now?” Minji questioned after checking the time on her phone.
“Ah, right. Thanks Min, thanks Baek.” He said before smiling at them and leaving. 
To be honest, Jungwon was expecting a longer explanation to his feelings, but comparing these moments to a book, it was awfully obvious that he liked you. It must’ve flown past his head the first time. 
You stared at the clock, awaiting Jungwon’s arrival. This was the first time you had caught yourself doing something like this. Usually, your head would be stuffed in your notebook right now, but after discovering these possible feelings for the boy you spend lunch with daily, things have changed.
Your habits must’ve been one of them.
There were moments where you glanced at the door, hoping that he would appear after every glance, but he didn’t. 
“Sorry.” A voice emitted from the doorway, heavy panting followed through. Your head whipped over, noticing the boy you were waiting for all this time. He looked up from the floor, making straight eye contact with you.
He was subtly sweaty, making it obvious that he ran here. Yes, it was a disgusting look, but to you…
He looked disgustingly handsome. It was odd, very odd, that the look made your heartbeat race. You couldn’t deny it, you definitely liked Jungwon. 
“You’re late.” You said in a teasing tone. You could care less if he was late or not, but it was fun to joke around with him.
“I’m aware.” Jungwon joked back while walking towards his seat.
“Are you hungry?” He asked while reaching into his backpack. You stayed silent, not sure how to answer that question. 
“Be honest.” He said in a serious tone and grabbed the meal he cooked this morning. 
“A little bit.” You replied as he took a seat in front of you. You eyed the containers he placed on the empty space, causing you to move your notebooks aside to create more.
He opened the containers one-by-one, leaving you stunned with every single meal. Once he was left with one container, he looked up to see your reaction, smiling at your childish look.
“Does it look good?” 
His question brought you out of your trance, causing you to straighten up immediately.
“Yes. It looks great.” You said as Jungwon chuckled at your response. You observed the 3 containers, noticing the different aspects of each; one had greens while the others didn’t.
“Oh, I wasn’t sure if you liked greens, so I separated them just in case.” He explained while pointing at the container you stared at.
You nodded at his words and hummed in amusement. Maybe you were only a tad bit hungry before, but now, you were starving. 
“You don’t have to wait for me, you can eat.” Jungwon said, gesturing at the meal in front of you two. 
You looked at him once then down at the utensils, hesitantly reaching for a spoon. Jungwon picked up on this and grabbed your hand, flipping it over while grabbing the spoon that laid on the napkin. He then placed it into the palm of your hand and looked into your eyes.
“Don’t hesitate, it’s fine.” Jungwon said and flashed you a smile, his dimples catching your eyes immediately. 
Well, maybe you weren’t hesitating on eating anymore, but you were definitely still hesitant about something…
Confessing your feelings to the boy before you.
Yeah, that could wait.
RANK NINE.
Two days ago, Jungwon had a talk with his two friends. He was reassured about his feelings for you, finalising them to a certain extent.
Today, he claimed he was ready to confess. He wouldn’t back away from doing so, and plus, there ‘wasn’t’ much time until graduation (it was 7 months away).
Of course, it was a lie. He had to make an excuse to be able to push himself to tell you how he really felt.
You, on the other hand, thought the same. But, you weren’t sure how you would approach him in a way where it wouldn’t be as awkward as you imagined.
Still, that would have to wait for the perfect time today. You couldn’t mess this up.
As your teacher spoke, your head became drowsy. Your notes seemed messy due to your eyesight blurring and nothing was comprehendible.
You shook your head, an attempt to regain your composure, but that didn’t work either. 
“Okay, everyone. I’ll leave the rest of this period for individual work time.” Your teacher said even if there was only 5 minutes before lunch. 
“Soccer today?” Baekseung asked Jungwon who wrote in his notebook. 
He nodded at his friend’s request, causing the boy to smile. It had been a while since they went to play soccer and not basketball, so it would be quite fun to reminisce about the past. 
The bell went, making 5 minutes feel like 30 seconds. To others it must’ve felt long, but to you, it felt short. You couldn’t focus on anything around you, not even the time. The throbbing headache that made its way into your system, as well as the nauseating feeling was all that occupied your mind.
Nothing else.
Not even the fact Jungwon was standing beside you right now. 
“You alright?” He asked. You looked up at him, your head spinning at the movement. It was quiet in the classroom, hinting at the fact there was practically nobody left aside from the two of you. 
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lies. You were far from feeling ‘fine’. However, you couldn’t let him worry as much as he did about your eating habits.
You managed to flash him a convincing smile as he did the same. The gentle pat on your head before leaving felt comforting knowing it was from Jungwon and no one else. 
“I’ll be back.” He said as he walked out the classroom, leaving you alone in silence. 
You weren’t able to tell if the heat that crept up your neck was from his subtle action, or the developing fever that made its way towards you. Honestly, you could care less. It wouldn’t stop you from studying anyway.
And, well, maybe preparing your confession for the said boy.
The mesh of the net ricocheted as the ball glided against the barrier. The goalie was on the floor, the outcome of his failed attempt at blocking the ball.
“It’s okay! That was a good try.” A teammate reassured while helping the male up on his feet. 
Once the ball was thrown into play, Baekseung scanned the area, searching for an open target to send the ball to. Teamwork was all that mattered when playing sports, so, why not include everyone even if he could shoot the ball himself?
You looked out the window, noticing the view of the many boys who kicked around a soccer ball. It wasn’t the best view, but you were still able to see a few faces—Jungwon’s especially.
Most of you wanted to get a closer look. It would be nice to take a short break from studying, right? It couldn’t hurt your academics that much…
You rose from your seat, head spinning once again. It was unbearable, but you’ve experienced worse. 
See, you’ve definitely experienced worse. So, why were you on the verge of passing out, once again?
You stood in front of the window sill Jungwon’s friend, Baekseung, would always sit on. Your grip tightened the ledge, losing balance in your legs. Your vision became even blurry than before as your mind became foggy.
Yeah, you were definitely about to knock out cold. There was no way you would manage to stay conscious. 
A moment after coming to terms with the fact you were about to faint, your body hit the floor, leaving the space between two desks occupied. 
Your eyes were slowly closing as the warmth of a hand was placed on your face. Ears ringing, making anything that person said incoherent.
It was a terrible feeling. Maybe you should’ve gone to the nurse’s office at the beginning of your fever.
Yeah… Maybe.
“It’s 11:30, I have to go.” Jungwon said after checking the time on his watch. He waved goodbye to those he played with on the field, then looked at the classroom window, a smile making its way to his face.
Now it was time for 30 minutes with you. 
But where were you? He scanned the empty classroom, yet you were nowhere to be found. Your stuff wasn't there either.
You weren’t there.
He was confused. You never left your seat, no matter the reason. So, where could you have gone?
Jungwon had no clue where he was going, letting his feet take him wherever. Suddenly, he was in front of the nurse’s office. Not even he knew why he was here. 
Without hesitation, he slid open the door, a wave of nostalgia hitting him. Except, you weren’t in his arms like before.
“Oh, Jungwon. What brings you here?” Mrs. Oh greets almost immediately. That was a great question.
What brought him here? 
“I’m not sure.” Jungwon said, not knowing what else to say. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know. 
“What do you mean?” She questioned, confused. That was the first time she received an answer like his. 
The boy stared at the nurse in silence. It was awkward for her, but not for him. 
Seriously, why was he brought here?
“Is… Is (Name) here?” He asked. Part of him regretted letting his so-called question slip out while the other part hoped you were here.
Other than that, he wouldn’t have any other ideas about where you could possibly be right now. 
“Oh, yes, she is. Were you looking for her?” Mrs. Oh questioned, a slight smile plastered on her face.
Jungwon nodded, not wanting to say anything else. He already embarrassed himself enough.
He followed the direction the nurse pointed in, heading to where you were supposedly lying down.
“Apparently, she fainted in class again. One of your classmates brought her over… Turns out she had a raging fever.”
So, he wasn’t hallucinating the pained expression you gave him at the start of lunch. 
At the sounds of his footsteps, you turned around fast, pretending to be asleep.
“I saw you.” Jungwon said, pulling your curtains aside.
“Nice try.” He took a seat beside you as you bit your bottom lip, eyes squinting in defeat.
“Are you feeling better?” 
You turned around at his words to face him. The damped cloth that rested on your forehead slowly slipped off, causing him to catch it.
“A little bit.” You said as he adjusted the cloth. 
You weren’t lying about it being a little bit. At least you were now able to move.
“Did you take medication?”
You nodded, noticing the fact he was only going to continue asking questions about your wellbeing.
“I heard you fainted… Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, the worry finally sinking in.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I got up to look out the window, but I guess I overestimated my ability.” You said with a light laugh.
“Why would you get up to look out the window if you were already feeling unwell?” He asked with furrowed brows.
It was only common sense, you should’ve made your way to the nurse's office. Not somewhere to admire scenery.
“Are you lecturing me, again?” You asked, referring to the conversation in the classroom from a while ago.
“Yes. You need to take care of yourself more.” 
“But if I said I was trying to watch you play soccer, then what?” 
Jungwon felt his heart skip a beat. 
Okay. Maybe you got him there. 
“T-That doesn’t matter. Your health comes first.” He mentally cursed at himself for stuttering. Your words must’ve taken a toll on him.
“You’re boring.” You said before looking away from the boy.
To be honest, this would be the best time to confess, right? 
Mrs. Oh had left the office a while ago, meaning it was just the two of you left alone. 
When would Jungwon ever get another opportunity like this one?
“Listen,” he started, gaining your attention all over again. You look over at him, waiting for him to continue his sentence.
“I know grades are important, but your health is too. Please prioritise your health as well, okay?” Jungwon paused, hesitating with his next words.
It was now or never.
“I don't want to fall in love with a corpse. It’ll be better if it were just you.”
You stared at the boy, stunned. You couldn’t tell if your temperature was rising or you were flustered by his sudden confession.
An awkward silence followed through, as he felt his heart sink. 
Did he just mess everything up?
“Anyways… have you drank anything yet?” Jungwon asked, switching the topic really fast.
“No…” You whispered. 
He nodded his head, pursing his lips and patted his thighs.
“Okay. I’ll go get you something.” He said before rising up from his seat and leaving quite fast.
You felt bad. If it were a confession, you just left him hanging.
Jungwon pushed the buttons on the vending machine with pressure. He was embarrassed. 
Very embarrassed.
He didn’t want to show himself in that room ever again. The atmosphere was definitely still the same as before—awkward and unbearable.
Maybe he shouldn’t have taken his friend's advice. He could’ve saved himself from experiencing this sort of regret.
The sound of the juice boxes falling from their designated spots caught Jungwon’s attention. He whined at the sound, not wanting to go back at all.
Still, he couldn’t keep you waiting. 
His plan of pretending nothing happened was now set in motion. It wouldn’t be that hard to forget the previous interaction, right?
“I hope you like orange juice—”
“Was that a confession earlier or was I going crazy?”
So much for pretending nothing happened.
He stumbled in his tracks, he was nowhere near your bed yet.
“Was it?” You asked, quite literally pestering a response from him.
Jungwon mumbled something to himself. Something along the lines of hoping he doesn’t mess things up further.
“Yes, it was.” He said, a heavy sigh following through.
Although his sigh sounded stressed, yours sounded relieved.
“Oh, that’s good. I thought I was the only one.” You said, causing Jungwon to make his way to your bed even faster.
“What do you mean?” He asked, his hands carrying the juice boxes and a confused expression on his face.
“Is it not obvious?” You asked, but he remained still.
Clearly, it wasn’t.
You sighed, disappointed that he couldn’t read between the lines with that brain of his.
“I like you too, Jungwon.” 
RANK TEN.
“It really happened?!” Baekseung exclaimed, shocked. Jungwon covered his mouth with a hand, not wanting the whole world to hear about yesterday’s interaction.
“Then what?” Minji asked.
“It’s a secret.” Jungwon said with a teasing smile. Minji rolled her eyes at his response. It definitely wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
The classroom door slid open, gaining his attention quickly. You walked into the classroom, holding your books to your chest.
A smile of adoration made its way to Jungwon’s face as you looked over at him, smiling. 
Minji observed the interaction with curious eyes.
“What the hell? Never do that again, please.” Baekseung said, removing Jungwon’s hand from his mouth.
“Wait so… Are you guys, well, dating now?” Minji asked.
“Woah, no.” He said, raising his hands up in defence.
“So, you guys just confessed to each other and that was all?” She asked in a more hushed tone since you arrived.
Jungwon nodded. 
Minji was about to say something else, but the bell rang, cutting her off before she could even start. The teacher walked in, addressing everyone to return to their seats. 
You smiled to yourself and pulled out your phone to send the boy a text.
“Nice one.” It read with a smiley emoji. 
Jungwon’s phone dinged, causing him to look at it. A smile made its way to his face as he read the message. 
He was lying to his friends the whole time. Yes, that was bad to do, but it was the best way of keeping your official relationship with each other a secret.
They could know you two confessed to each other, but not that you were dating. 
To be honest, Jungwon never saw this coming. He always thought you would be someone he hated because he never knew it was possible to meet somebody who was at his level.
He truly thought he was dreaming when he first saw you and learned about that information.
But right now, he was thankful he wasn’t and was thankful that you were someone who he fell in love with.
Ξ ©HAKNOM, 2024
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won4ver · 3 months
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✈︎a poet’s draft
↳ teaser
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You were convinced that Sunghoon was incapable of loving, and he was prepared to sacrifice everything to prove you wrong.
pairing : streetracer!sunghoon x singer!afab!reader
warnings + genre : readers kinda mean. exes to ??. [warnings will be added to the main fic]
teaser wc : 1.1k | fic wc : ~10-15k
release date : ??
a/n : listened to vroom vroom by weeekly on repeat while writing the teaser… been so excited about putting this one out, it’s been brewing in my drafts for a few days. i’m almost done the full fic so it’s coming very soon
playlist [updated frequently]
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“You know, I was in love with you” As the words tumbled from your mouth in a wisp of blue, it travelled throughout his bones drawing red where your words cut. His head snapped to you as his cuts cried, the familiar numbing pain crawling up his throat as it burned, swallowing itself as he attempted to speak. 
“I even thought we were going to get married” His heart raced like an invisible clock, ticking away in his mind as your love grew purple.
Purple, his favourite colour was now nothing more than the venom dripping from the teeth of the serpent wrapped around his fresh wounds, mocking him for his unfulfilled love. The purple streaks that once coloured your hair in the plethora of his love, were now dyed over with a striking blonde.
“You were my everything, Sunghoon”
His absence created a separation like water and oil, the reds and blues pulling apart as he broke your heart in a quick decision. He was red, of course, he took your favourite colour with him.
The comforting red that you once blushed across his cheeks was now staining his firsts as they dripped with blood, the comforting red was nothing but a distraction. You once loved red, but now you hated it more than anything.
“But then I saw that I was nothing to you”
You were red until Sunghoon touched you, until he made you fall in love with him by whispering sweet nothing in your ears under the morning dew beneath the pale blue sky. You were stained purple until the red dripped out like a faucet. 
The path left by your shed tears was an abstract of delusion, Sunghoon didn’t know how to love. He proved the point when he left without a word, the tears now dried upon your cheeks.
“And I foolishly believed that you responded with equally returned love” His mouth filled with the taste of copper, the red landing on his tongue as he bit his lip. The invisible clock froze, his body numbed as your words repeated in a record of self-doubt. 
“But then I realized, you don’t know how to love Sunghoon. I’ve always struggled with forcing myself to believe in a lie.” You turned your head towards him, eyes leaving the beautiful sunset to stare into the void of Sunghoon, his hypnotising eyes blurred with faux tears.
You let yourself scoff, shaking your head as you stared at the man beside you, his palms shaking as they twiddled with each other. “You're nothing more than a poet's draft, your rhythm fell out of touch with the one of the world.”
The invisible clock chimed as the red flames licked at it, unfrozen as Sunghoon’s tears raced down his cheeks. He couldn’t breathe, his chest filled with smoke as the fire of the clock burned him. “N- no that's not true, I loved you more than anything” He stuttered, shaking his head as the salty tears landed like lava on his hands.
“I love you like the wind-” You cut him off, “No you didn’t Sunghoon, you became the wind.” He shook his head back and forth, his lips trembling as his head began pounding, his heartbeat loud in his ears.
“You destroy everything in your path, like a hurricane tearing through my heart. You took everything I had, leaving me with nothing but your destruction.” You looked away from the man who left you in the wake of his timeless parallel of ruining everything he’s ever touched. Sunghoon wasn’t made to love but to be loved.
He found love in you, at one point in time he truly believed that you were the only type of love he’d ever experience, up until he fell into the blinding headlights of his soon to be downfall. He should've known he couldn't have both you and the races. 
Once upon a time, Sunghoon would've chosen you over anything, but now he had his entire career to lose. He lost you as he sped towards the finish line, his black visors blocking the blue waves washing off of him. He was rendered colourblind the moment he no longer had you, his permanent red-coloured glasses staining his vision.
Sunghoon needed you back, but would he risk everything he has now to get you back? He once built you a castle made of cards, long before he was consumed with the storm whistling inside of him. He wasn't always the wind, he was once a delicate flower being held in your palms. But things were different now, your shared clock ticking in your ears as the rest of your castle slowly tumbled down. The cards were scattered, ready for Sunghoon to collect them once again.
But as he looked down he could only see one card, the back side laid against the grass beside his feet. The jack of hearts. A smile rose on his lips as the haunting red colour shone brighter than ever.
“Hey, I have a race in about half an hour” Sunghoon looked up at you from beneath his lashes, a nervous smirk on his face, “can you, uh, come?'' The deadpan stare you sported on your face made Sunghoon sheepishly raise his hand up to scratch at the back of his neck.
“I mean- it would mean the world to me if you showed up” He picked at the grass in the exact same spot where the card was laid out, the long shards ticking his fingers as he held his breath.
“Are you going to win?” You ignored his question, your head tilting to the side as you watched him in a narrowed gaze. A teasing smile kissing your lips as you watched him excitedly nod his head.
“I’ve always won for you.” And Sunghoon did. Every single race you were the only thing on his mind, his scenarios raising with the speed of his car. He would imagine you waiting for him at the end, your arms wrapping around him as soon as his door opened. The loud cheers coming up as nothing as he was cradled in your embrace.
In his mind he would hold you, your soft encouragements softening his batted mind. In his mind he built a life around your absence, creating his own version of you in replacement of his loneliness. 
In his mind he never had to choose between you or his career, he wouldn’t have left you in the middle of the night because he knew he wouldn’t be able to go with your pretty eyes staring back at him.
“Today won’t be any different” But it would be different, Sunghoon knew it would change everything. You would no longer but just a fragment of his delusions, but you would actually be standing there- for him. 
“I’ll have to see if I can make the time” And for the first time ever, you lied to his face.
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heesdreamer · 1 year
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YOU MAKE ME
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles
WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)
WC ➩ 17k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)
Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.
When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.
She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.
You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.
When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.
Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.
You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.
It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.
Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.
Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.
You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.
You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.
Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.
Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.
Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.
You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.
A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.
You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.
“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.
“Yeah.. a little bit.��� You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.
He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.
He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.
The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.
“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.
“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.
“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.
“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”
You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.
“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.
“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”
This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.
You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.
“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”
“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”
——
You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.
When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.
The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.
Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.
“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”
You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.
“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.
“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”
“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.
He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.
You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.
Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.
He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.
Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.
“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.
“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.
He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.
You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.
“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”
It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.
You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.
The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.
“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.
“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”
You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.
Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.
“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.
It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.
You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.
At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.
Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.
You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.
“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.
“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.
“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.
It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.
“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.
“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”
The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.
“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.
“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”
“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.
“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.
“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.
“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.
You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.
“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”
He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.
“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.
“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.
“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.
He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.
The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.
You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.
You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.
“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.
He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”
The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.
You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.
You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.
When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.
It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.
“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.
“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”
“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”
His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.
You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.
“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.
You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.
He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.
It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”
You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.
You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.
It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.
It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.
——
The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.
Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.
Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.
It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.
Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.
Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.
Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.
You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.
You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.
The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.
It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.
He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.
He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.
It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.
You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.
“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.
“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”
“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.
“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.
“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.
His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.
“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”
“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”
“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.
“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.
“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.
You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.
When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.
You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.
It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.
——
“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.
You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.
“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”
“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.
You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.
Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.
For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.
He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.
“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.
You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”
He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.
You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.
“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.
You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.
“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.
His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.
——
You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.
You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.
Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.
He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.
Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.
The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.
When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.
You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.
Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.
“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.
You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.
You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.
He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.
It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.
Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.
“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.
“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.
He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.
“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”
“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.
Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.
He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.
You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.
“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”
The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.
“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.
“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.
“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”
He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.
“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”
You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.
“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.
“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”
“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.
Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.
His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.
He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.
“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”
“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.
“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.
“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.
His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.
“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.
He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.
You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.
He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.
“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.
“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.
“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”
“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”
You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.
“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.
Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.
You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.
“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.
You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.
“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.
Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.
“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”
���N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.
A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.
He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.
Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.
“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”
With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.
When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.
You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.
The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.
You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.
You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.
But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.
Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.
You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.
You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.
“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”
You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.
“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”
You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.
“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.
He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.
“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”
“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.
You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.
It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.
You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.
When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.
Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.
“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.
Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.
“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.
You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.
“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.
“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.
“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.
You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.
“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.
“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”
You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.
“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.
He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.
“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”
He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.
He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.
Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.
“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound
“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”
“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.
You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.
He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.
“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”
Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.
“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.
“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.
“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.
The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.
“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”
“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.
You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.
“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.
You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.
“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.
Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.
You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.
“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.
“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”
“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.
He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.
His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.
“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.
Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.
You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.
If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.
You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.
“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.
“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.
He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.
“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.
“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.
“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”
You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.
You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.
“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.
“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.
It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.
You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.
You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.
He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.
——
You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.
The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.
You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.
“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“
“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”
He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.
“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.
He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.
“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.
“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.
Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.
You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.
“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”
He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.
“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”
“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.
“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”
He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.
You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.
The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.
“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.
“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.
“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”
You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.
How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.
“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.
You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.
He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.
You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.
“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.
You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.
Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.
He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.
You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
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ja3yun · 1 month
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Royal Sacrifice | S.JY | pt.2
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prince!jake x maid!fem reader warnings: tiny bit of fluff, angst, smut (mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, fingering, nipple play, whiney jake, my attempt to write posh-ish (again), longing, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 12.5k synopsis: with prince jaeyun set to marry another woman, revelations of the true plans behind the marriage come to light which leave you struck with conflicting emotions and lead to an outcome you could never have anticipated. part one a/n: hi! it is me once again. this was heavily requested to have a part 2 so i am being ever so kind and giving it to you all! i held a poll to see if you guys wanted a long chapter or shorter and long won so ofc its 12k (sigh) anyway, please enjoy it! this was really fun to write even though it's not my usual style, i hope this ending serves you better than part one did hehe.
3 months. It has been 3 months since you last saw the prince, the love of your life. Ever since the king made his speech declaring the marriage of Prince Jaeyun and Princess Mia, your heart has not stopped shedding pieces of itself. With each part that breaks away, you hope they reach him somehow.
Currently, he is in Lethamhill, fulfilling a tour of the Kingdom that will best help him serve the country once the merger is to happen. You haven’t ventured past the walls of Glengyre, so as you imagine him exploring and getting to know the people, being his charming self, you can only imagine the backdrop to be similar to your home, hopefully with a little more prosperity. 
It has been hard to focus on your duties while your brain is occupied with a forbidden love, a love that can never be. Of course, you told him to do this, practically pushing him into the new role of a husband to a woman who is not you, yet, you don’t find any comfort in knowing you both did the right thing. 
He was willing to fight in the front line, to disregard any idea of marrying another, all for the sake of you and your love. It is a love that comes once in a lifetime and it is a love that has the power to destroy worlds. You could not sit back and in your right mind watch the Prince throw away his people for you, it’s unethical and illogical, thus, you had no choice but to push him away.
But you still loved him all the same, that fire of affection will always burn for him.
Despite your longing, his absence has made it somewhat easier to grasp the idea that you can no longer hold him or feel his warmth through your veins. Being in the same room as him will only hurt you more.
He has to come back at some point, and that point is any day now.
Princess Mia must also do her rounds throughout Glengyre if she is to be a Princess of this kingdom as well as her own. You aren’t one to gossip but the chatter around the servant's quarters is that she is spoiled and entitled, everything Jaeyun despises. There might not be any truth to it, senseless rumours about her attitude could easily be spread in response to some jealous people looking for an excuse to hate her all because Jaeyun is off limits now. 
It didn’t matter, true or not, they were to be wed in a matter of months regardless of personal feelings. 
As you dust off the ornaments lined up neatly on the mantlepiece in the hallway, you hear the main entrance doors open, a commotion following. You peer around the corner to catch a glimpse, curious as to who graces the castle at this early hour. 
Then you see Princess Mia with her arm hooked onto Jaeyun, smiling up at him with doe eyes.
That was another truth you did not want to face once he returned; that he could, in fact, have fallen in love with her.
“My boy! How was your trip?” The king’s ambitious voice echoes through the entire castle.
Jaeyun smiles gracefully, bowing as he approaches his father, “It went well, Your Majesty,” he says at a far lesser decibel than his father.
Princess Mia looks at Jaeyun like he is the only man in the world which only serves to make your stomach twist. It is so obvious this would happen, Jaeyun is so easy to fall in love with, anyone would be foolish to spend more than a few hours with him and fail to be enamoured by him. 
You almost knock over the clock you are pretending to dust as your eyes stay glued to the scene before you. Your brain is trying to determine Jaeyun’s feelings towards his fiance, are the feelings of adoration mutual or does he still see this as a contractual marriage? 
Does he still love you?
"Y/N, back to work, please. We do not eavesdrop on the Royals," Miss Son chides in a hushed tone, jolting you back to attention.
You bow apologetically, hastening your dusting with a newfound fervour, cheeks burning with embarrassment under Miss Son's pointed gaze. She says no more, retreating to attend to her own duties and leaving you to yours.
As you resume your task, the distant murmur of voices from the royals serves as a constant reminder of his presence despite the fact he is no longer in your line of sight. Jaeyun’s voice threads through the air like a siren’s song, beckoning you to his side once more.
But you cannot answer.
_____
As you diligently scrub the remnants of the Royal's lunch from the plates, the imposing figure of the Chamberlain disrupts the tranquillity of the kitchen, her presence commanding attention as she raps sharply on the wooden table.
“Y/N?” she asks quizzically as she does not know who the name would belong to. 
It’s tiny situations like this that make you miss Jaeyun even more. The Crown Prince's effortless familiarity with over a hundred staff members stands in stark contrast, a testament to his respect and appreciation for every individual, regardless of their status.
Turning to face the Chamberlain, you offer a respectful bow, "Yes, Ma'am?"
"Ah, excellent. Please cease your current tasks and accompany me. Your presence has been requested," she instructs, her tone brooking no argument.
Your heart skips a beat, thoughts racing as you wonder what could possibly warrant such a summons. Swallowing your apprehension, you quickly set aside the plates and follow the Chamberlain, your footsteps echoing faintly in the corridor as you trail behind her.
The corridors of the castle seem to stretch endlessly, each step accompanied by a mounting sense of anticipation. You steal a glance at the Chamberlain's stoic profile, but her expression reveals nothing, leaving you to speculate about why you have been called.
Maybe the King and Queen finally discovered your clandestine relationship with the Prince, perhaps this is the moment all of your past rendezvous catch up to you. What would this mean? Would they behead you, exile you from the very kingdom you call home, or was it something much more sinister?
Finally, you arrive at a grand door, adorned with intricate carvings and gilded accents. The Chamberlain pauses, turning to regard you with a stern gaze, "Remember your place," she warns, before pushing open the door and ushering you inside.
As you walk into the large dining hall, you see an abundance of eyes on you. The entire Royal family, along with their trusted valets have their attention on you.
You scour the table for Jaeyun, whose eyes glisten with longing and disbelief. He cannot believe you are standing in front of him once again, albeit in different circumstances than he would like. 
To him, you look as pretty as the day he was escorted away to Lethamhill, but he can sense that you haven’t been well; your tired eyes and slumped body are a testament. He could only wish to ease the pain from your body just as his soft hands used to do.
“Miss Y/N, is it?” the Queen inquires, eyeing you up and down.
With a nod, you avoid direct eye contact, “Yes, Your Majesty. Y/N L/N,” your hands tremble slightly as you speak, seeking stability by clutching your skirt, attempting to rid the clamminess that has settled upon them.
The King rises from his seat, intrigued by your surname and background, “L/N… Is that the same L/N who oversees the mill near the Dochart River?” he probes.
Regrettably, you must correct him, “No, Your Majesty. My father toils in the mines, and my mother gathers berries,” a tinge of shame colours your words as you recount your family's humble occupations.
Both your parents worked tirelessly to provide for your family, yet their efforts often fell short. When they left you with your siblings, it wasn't out of neglect but out of necessity, seeking better opportunities in other regions where wealth flowed more readily - a circumstance not dissimilar to yours right now.
The room falls into a weighted silence, the King's brows knit together in thought. “Ah, I see,” he murmurs, clearly disinterested in you now.
You brace yourself for judgment, but to your surprise, Princess Mia speaks up, a soft smile on her face,  “Hardworking stock, it is admirable,” she remarks with no hint of sarcasm, her tone warm.
A glimmer of pride graces your features at her acknowledgement, a brief respite from the anxiety flickering around your insides. You still don’t know why you are here, so you cannot let your guard down so easily.
"Miss L/N, may I introduce Princess Mia of Lethamhill. I trust you are familiar with her impending union with the Prince?" the Queen's gaze steers you towards the Princess, who maintains a gracious smile.
"Yes, Your Majesty. It is indeed an honour to be in your presence," you reply with a respectful curtsy, offering a warm smile in return.
She makes her way to you, holding out her hands to offer to you. Your eyes scan the table to see the look of shock on everyone’s faces, taken aback by her forwardness to a mere peasant, “It is my honour to meet you, Y/N,” her face exudes a kindness you see similarly in Jaeyun.
It breaks your heart.
They are clearly well suited, their characters and status mould together in ways you and Jaeyun could never.
“Y/N, you will serve as Princess Mia’s lady-in-waiting during her stay in Glengyre,” the Queen's announcement leaves you speechless, a wave of disbelief washing over you.
Typically, when Royals of other kingdoms venture to another, it is customary that they bring their own staff, particularly their maid of honour. 
Princess Mia's unexpected warmth catches you off guard as she expresses her hope for a harmonious relationship, “Pince Jaeyun spoke highly of you, Y/N. I look forward to our time together," she says, grasping your hands with genuine affection.
Confusion and resentment swirl within you. Was this Jaeyun's way of taunting you? To rub it in that you are no longer his?
Despite your inner thoughta, you maintain your composure and offer a gracious smile in return. "Thank you, Princess Mia. I am at your service," you respond, masking your apprehension with a polite demeanour.
As you glance around the room, you catch Jaeyun's eye for a brief moment, his expression one of mischief, “Thank you, Y/N. You know all the ins and outs of this castle,” he smirks, eluding to your secret nightly meetings in whatever nook and cranny you could find to be with him.
With a mixture of confusion and trepidation, you acknowledge his words with a subtle nod, unsure of what his intentions are at this moment. Despite the lingering doubts and uncertainties, you steel yourself to fulfil your duties to the best of your abilities.
“I appreciate the opportunity, Your Highness,” you say to Jaeyun, hoping he can read your confused features. Luckily after months of only being able to communicate through your expressions, he shakes his head, understanding your worries but dismissing them.
He just wants to keep you close, and if serving his future wife is the only way to do that, then so be it.
_____
The following morning marks the beginning of your role as a lady-in-waiting, a position typically earned after years of loyal service—a fact not lost on the resentful gazes of your fellow servants at the dining table. Even your chamber companions shun you, refusing to share the bunk, a clear display of their disdain. Although Princess Mia kindly offers you a separate bed closer to her quarters, accepting would only stoke the flames of their animosity.
As you walk the hallways adorned in your new uniform, a sense of pride swells within you. The sea blue cotton dress may lack the opulence of the Chamberlain's or any other higher ranking servant’s attire, but its significance is not lost on you. It represents a step up from your previous maid garments, a symbol of newfound status and responsibility.
The guards at the door inspect you and your new look, both smiling widely before stepping out of the way to give you a pathway to the Princess’ door. 
Tipping your head courteously, you knock on the grand oak doors, awaiting approval to enter. However, when it does not come, you open them slightly, examining the room to find your lady. A lump is formed under the covers of the bed, meaning she could only be in one place.
You gently shut the double doors behind you before carefully gliding over to the window to open the curtains.
Back home, your brothers had a tendency to do as the Princess is doing just now - hiding to avoid going about their duties. You expect it from teenage boys, not from the Princess of an entire kingdom.
“Princess Mia, you have an appointment this morning,” you say firmly, hoping she will wake up.
A muffled groan escapes beneath the layers of quilts covering her head, "Please, Y/N, I have a dreadful allergy to the sun," she jokes.
With a gentle tug, you draw back the final curtain, "My apologies, Your Highness, but I am under strict orders from the King to ensure you join them for breakfast," you explain with a warm smile.
She shifts beneath the covers before casting them aside, revealing her upper half with a resigned sigh, "I understand, Y/N. It is not your doing," she concedes, stretching as if aiming for the heavens, "But you should know, I harbour a great distaste for mornings. If I seem irritable, it’s hardly your fault."
You can't help but admire her even in her morning disarray, her features possessing an otherworldly allure. Though the kingdom boasts many beauties, encountering someone of her stature feels like a rare privilege.
Blinking away the remnants of sleep, she finally meets your gaze with a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. "Shall we, Y/N?" she says, gracefully swinging her legs off the bed and rising to her feet with a fluid motion that speaks of innate poise.
“Would you like me to assist you with your bath or would you prefer some privacy?” you query, making her bed as she glances out the window.
Princess Mia is like any one of your friends back home, an ease of friendliness passes between you the more you speak. There's a pang of wishful thinking, a part of you hoped she'd embody the snobbishness rumoured about her, offering an easy target for animosity towards her relationship with your former love. But she is far removed from her rumours.
“Neither,” she begins to pull you away from your task of making the bed and pushes you towards the bathroom, “Perhaps I could use the company more than anything.”
Turning the taps to fill her bath, you steal another glance at her as she strips off her nightgown, marvelling at her delicate features: the velvety smoothness of her skin, the graceful curves that seem sculpted by an artist's hand, and the perkiness of her ass, reminiscent of a ripe peach. 
In contrast, your own reflection reveals a different story - dry skin marked by scars from old scabies, a dullness that overshadows any hint of radiance, and a figure that pales in comparison, lacking the perfection of hers.
You would be foolish to think for a second you could compete with her for Jaeyun’s love.
As she steps into the running bath, you prepare the soap, handing it to her which she accepts with a smile. 
“How long have you worked for the Glengyre royal family?” she asks, lathering up the soap and washing it over her body.
"Just under a year, Your Highness," you respond, realising in this moment that you have been here for much longer than desired. Being away from your brothers for this long was never part of the plan, and the ache to see them again gnaws at your heart, the letters exchanged barely enough to quell your longing.
Princess Mia lounges in the bath, leaning her chin on the edge as she speaks with you, “Tell me honestly, from a peasant perspective, are they good people?” 
The question is a hefty one, one that you are not prepared for. It is no secret that you have a distaste for the King and Queen, however, your judgement upon them can only lead to your travesty, so you ponder how to navigate the question while still maintaining some honesty.
“Well, the King and Queen try their best,” you begin, eyes pointed downward, “And the Prince…”
How would one describe Prince Jaeyun? Loyal, honest, kindhearted, fearless, a true King. But how do you say it while hiding your feelings for him? Your brain wants to tell the Princess how Jaeyun kisses with such desire and passion, and his whispers of affection and adoration serve you to believe he is straight from one of Shakespeare's sonnets. He was much more than a noble Crown Prince, he was the love of your life, and you wanted to scream it from the rooftops.
She pokes you gently with a finger, drawing you back from your reverie, "Y/N?"
"Oh, my apologies," you offer a strained smile, hoping she didn’t catch on to your longing gaze, "Prince Jaeyun is undoubtedly a man of great virtue and integrity, worthy to ascend the throne and lead his people," you reply, striving for a diplomatic tone that hides the depth of your affection for him.
"And how will he be as a husband?"
You fluster, your brain now inappropriately recalling his touches and lingering lips while his bride-to-be is a mere foot away, “I couldn’t possibly comment on that, Your Highness,” you deflect, inwardly cursing your traitorous thoughts.
“But from your perception, someone of your lower class has no reason to lie to me regarding your Prince, I would value your honesty,” she insists, playing with the water that envelopes her.
Sighing, you yield, “He will make a fantastic husband. His loyalty to those he loves knows no bounds,” you concede, swallowing the bitter pill of truth as you reluctantly paint a portrait of Jaeyun as a desirable suitor, knowing it may only serve to bring them closer together.
The Princess slips lower into the bathtub, leaving just her head above the water, "He does not love me, though," she acknowledges, her voice heavy with sorrow as if she were voicing the truth for the first time, "He made it clear that his heart belongs elsewhere, that he could never give it to me."
You feel a surge of tension at her words, a glimmer of hope blossoming in your heart at Jaeyun's implied feelings. It's a bittersweet realisation, knowing that he still holds love for you as deeply as you do for him, yet, not one of you can do anything about it.
Standing from the stool beside the bathtub, you pick up a towel and hold it out for the Princess to take, but she does not move, instead, she continues her questioning, “Who does he love, Y/N?”
The sickness that sits in your stomach bubbles to your throat, word vomit willing you on to scream at her that it is you he belongs to, that his heart is yours and yours is his. But you dare not utter such a confession.
“He loves his people, Your Highness, they are who have his heart,” you stand strong, pushing the towel further in her face, using it as a barricade so she cannot witness your wet eyes.
Princess Mia removes herself from the tub, idly lost in her thoughts, “We have that in common,” her tone airy as she remembers her people back home.
She is a good person, her thoughtfulness and kindness showcase this, and you know she will make a fantastic addition to Jaeyun’s faction. With her as his wife, they will do great things for Glengyre.
_____
As the first rays of dawn break through the stained glass windows of the castle, you find yourself standing alongside Princess Mia at the grand breakfast table, the delicate clinking of silverware and murmured conversations filling the air. Your gaze couldn't help but flicker nervously toward the entrance, anticipation mounting with each passing moment as you awaited Jaeyun's arrival.
It is hard to be so close yet so out of reach to someone you used to be tangled with.
Prince Jaeyun and his trusted valet, Heeseung, make their grand entrance into the opulent dining hall, instantly commanding the attention of all present. His piercing gaze sweeps across the room, briefly meeting Princess Mia's eyes before seeking out your own.
You have lined yourself up with the other maids, a habit from your past role. Heeseung approaches you with a warm smile, his voice carrying a hint of understanding as he addresses you, "Miss Y/N, valets typically stand to the left," he gently reminds you, gesturing for you to join him. Grateful for Heeseung's kindness and guidance, you offer him a respectful bow before obediently following his lead.
As you traverse the room, keeping your head low in deference, you feel a soft touch against your hand, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was, the touch sending sparks to your heart. 
Jaeyun is playing with fire, he knows it’s risky to even gaze upon you too long, yet his heart yearns for you and your touch, causing him to act irrationally. Your heart is a magnet and it is drawing him in the closer you are to him.
In a brief moment of recklessness, Jaeyun slips a folded piece of paper into your palm before releasing his grip, the covert exchange going unnoticed by everyone save the two of you. Quickly you tuck the piece of paper up your sleeve and stand in your designated space.
As the Royals take their seats, anticipation pervades the air, with the tantalising smells of the lavish meal enticing even the most controlled appetites.
“How fares the Princess this morning?” Heeseung inquires softly, a faint smile gracing his lips as he casts his gaze ahead.
“Quite well. And what of the Prince?” you respond, hoping for a glimpse into your former lover’s wellbeing.
Heeseung's sigh is filled with gravity, his words hint at a heavy burden borne by the Prince, "Disheartened, I'm afraid," he says quietly.
The confession elicits a sharp intake of breath from you, brows knit together in confusion as you silently implore Heeseung to elaborate. "I believe it's due to the wedding being expedited to this Friday," he declares, his words sinking in with unexpected weight.
“What?!” your exclamation escapes your lips before you can temper it, a mix of shock and disbelief colouring your tone, reverberating through the room with an unintended volume.
Jaeyun, catching wind of your distressed reaction, turns his gaze towards you, his expression a mixture of concern and curiosity. Sensing his eyes upon you, you quickly avert your gaze, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up your neck.
You know you cannot be with him but you presumed you had more time to become accustomed to Princess Mia around the castle and before you lose him forever, “Isn’t the Princess required to occupy Glengyre for at least 3 months? Isn’t it customary for her to know our land and the people before she takes such a vow?” you question. 
“Apparently, she does not need 3 months. The arrangement has altered slightly,” he looks down at you. 
“How can that be?” You don’t mean to bombard the valet with your senseless questioning, but nothing makes sense to you, “How will she know what is best for this kingdom if she does not actively know it? How will she best know how to take the role of Princess of Glengyre?”
Heeseung breathes out, “She won’t be, Prince Jaeyun is to be crowned King Consort of Lethamhill once they marry and fulfil his duties there,” his tone is filled with sorrow. 
You're taken aback by Heeseung's revelation, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place, "But if Jaeyun becomes the King Consort of Lethamhill, what about Glengyre?" you inquire, your voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid to speak the words aloud, “Who will take the place of the King once he passes?”
“It is blasphemy to speak about the King’s death so frivolously!” Heeseung exclaims in a hushed tone, his jaw clenched. Heeseung was a royal guard before he was Jaeyun’s man-in-waiting, the blood of the royal navy still runs rampant through his veins, his honour to the king noble even if slightly blinded.
You offer an apology, bowing your head and feigning shame, “Sorry, I shall never utter the words so haphazardly again.”
He nods, stature returning to his elegant stance, "It's a complicated matter," Heeseung replies, his tone laced with sympathy, "The merger between the kingdoms is more than it seems. Lethamhill is in dire need of assistance after the turmoil caused by the war. The arrangement serves to benefit both kingdoms but it is Glengyre who is set to prosper.”  
You are not understanding Heeseung’s words, which only causes hindrance in this conversation, “Excuse my ignorance, but I do not understand.”
“Lethamhill is on the brink of destruction, the King believes if Prince Jaeyun were to be crowned King Consort, he would be able to fully take Lethamhill for himself. King James and Queen Elizabeth will resign their titles for their daughter as part of the deal, leaving our Crown Prince in charge with only the need of convincing Princess Mia to follow his plans.”
You whip your head to face Heeseung, “So Lethamhill is to be no more? What of its people?” your heart races at the thought of thousands of innocent lives tangled in this game of political power.
“They are not the King and Prince’s concern, they serve Glengyre and Glegyre alone,” he says quietly.
There is a weight in your chest akin to an anchor, bringing your remaining hope and happiness for this merger down into the pits of your stomach. The merger is a visage, a guise for your King to be completely in control. 
This was never about peace, this was always going to be about power.
“And does Prince Jaeyun know about this?” you ask astonished. Surely, if Jaeyun knew of the inner workings of his father, he would put a stop to it all. Although Jaeyun lives to serve his people, he would never sacrifice others to replenish Glengyre, it’s the reason he has always voted against war.
Heeseung's gaze remains firm, "Of course he does," he replies sternly, "You think the Prince would be kept in the dark about something like this?"
As Heeseung's words sink in, a wave of realisation washes over you, accompanied by a sense of betrayal. You can only hope Jaeyun has a bigger plan, one that can save both kingdoms from perishing.
______
As night descends upon the castle, you navigate the dimly lit corridors with determined steps, your mind swirling with conflicting emotions. Jaeyun's cryptic note had beckoned you to the Council c
Chambers under the cover of darkness, although, you were conflicted with the idea knowing his plans now to infiltrate Lethamhill from within.
However, this served as your chance to speak directly to Jaeyun and figure out what his true intentions are. Every atom of your being is saying he cannot be so foolish as to destroy a country just in the hopes of building up his own, but you still approach the meeting with a wary heart.
With a heavy push, you open the door and the memories of your final night together flood your mind. But you refuse to be swayed by the urge within your body and heart; you must find out what is truly going on.
The room is cloaked in shadows, save for the faint glow of moonlight filtering through the windows. As you step inside, the air seems charged with tension, every creak of the floorboards echoing in the silence.
Jaeyun is leaning against the very desk he made love to you on countless times, the very desk you promised your undying love to him. His head whips up as he hears you enter the Council Chamber, his body lit by the moon and nothing more, yet, you can see the twinkle in his eyes as if it is a bright summer’s morning.
He stands as you edge closer to him, "It's been too long since I was graced with such beauty in my lone presence," he remarks, his voice soft and warm. His hand moves instinctively to find your hips, but you step back, the tension in the air palpable.
"Tell me it isn’t true," you implore, your heart pounding in your chest as you search his eyes for reassurance, desperate for him to dispel the troubling rumours that have plagued your thoughts.
Jaeyun's brow furrows in confusion, his expression a mixture of concern and curiosity, "Tell me what isn't, my love?" he responds, his voice laced with genuine confusion.
"Don't call me that. You have no right anymore," you respond sharply, your voice tinged with bitterness. The pain of betrayal simmers just beneath the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment.
"You'll always be my love, Y/N," Jaeyun insists, his tone pleading as he reaches out to you, but you hold yourself stiffly, refusing to be swayed by his familiar touch.
"But you're not mine, not if what I heard is true," you retort, your voice trembling with a mixture of hurt and anger. 
Jaeyun's expression softens, "What did you hear?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid of the answer.
In Jaeyun’s eyes, he has done nothing wrong. He has kept Princess Mia at a respectable length at all times, never shared the same bed, and made it abundantly clear that this marriage will harbour no love as he already gave his heart to someone else - to you.
Which could only mean you know one thing.
You feel a surge of frustration welling up inside you, threatening to implode as you confront Jaeyun with the truth.
"That you are to marry Princess Mia for the sole purpose of becoming king and take complete control of Lethamhill," you reveal, your voice trembling as you lay bare the painful reality of the situation, “Please, Jaeyun, tell me this isn’t true. Tell me otherwise.”
You feel the weight of each word as it leaves your lips. The dim light from the moon casts long shadows across the room, adding to the solemn atmosphere as you confront Jaeyun, the man you once thought you knew so well.
You are begging him to prove your mind wrong, to let you in on a lavish plan that bonds the countries together by outwitting his father. 
Yet he offers nothing.
For a moment, there is silence between you, broken only by the soft sound of your breathing. Your figure tightens as any hope you had for him, for this to be a lie, slowly dwindles away.
Finally, Jaeyun speaks, his voice barely above a whisper, "Y/N, please understand," he begins, his tone pleading as he searches for the right words to convey his thoughts, “It is not by choice.”
“There is always a choice, Jaeyun,” you spit back at him, head thumping with the realisation that Jaeyun does not have an ulterior motive, he is going along with the plan to destroy Lethamhill, “What was the point of agreeing to marry Princess Mia and avoiding war when you are only going to cause one anyway?” 
Jaeyun's shoulders sag under the weight of your accusation, his gaze dropping to the floor as he wrestles with his conscience, "It isn't like that," he protests weakly, his voice tinged with sorrow, "There will be no war."
“But people will be hurt and in consequence, they will die. That to me is no better than war,” you counter, your voice laced with agitation.
“Some may die but our people will be safe,” he insists, his words ringing around the room.
You seethe as he shows no willingness to relent; you sacrificed true love, your happiness, all for the better of the kingdom you call home, and yet Jaeyun sets make a fool of it. Your kingdom may flourish, but it will be covered in a sea of blood and power. Glengyre will no longer be a place you can call home if this were to be the case.
“But what of Princess Mia’s people? They will surely perish,” you argue, your heart breaking at the thought of innocent lives that will be lost in the name of power and control.
Jaeyun sighs, his expression haunted as he grapples with the weight of his decisions, "I took an oath to protect my kingdom," he murmurs, his voice barely audible above the din of your thoughts.
You step forward, jaw tightening and fists clenched, “And you will take an oath on Friday,” you remind him, your voice thick with disappointment, “To their kingdom, to be their leader and save them from their current state.”
“The King-”
“Enough! No excuses. The king does not have a final say once you are to be wed. You will be crowned King Consort of Lethamhill, you get to have the final decision as to what to do, what is best.”
Jaeyun's hand hesitates midair, trembling as if caught in a tempest of conflict. Your impassioned words strike at the very core of his being, awakening a sense of clarity amidst the fog. For the first time, he begins to see the shadow that his father's influence has cast over him, distorting his once unyielding sense of honour and integrity.
In your unwavering presence, he discovers a beacon, guiding him back to the principles he formerly valued. 
“My love-” he starts, but you interject once again.
“No. Until you return the Jaeyun I once knew, the man that I love, I am not yours,” you back away slowly, voice trembling as tears prick your eyes, “I belong to him, to my Jaeyun, not you.”
_____
Two days later, you stand outside Miss Son's office, the oak door imposing yet familiar. The flickering torches cast dancing shadows across the corridor, adding an eerie ambience to the castle's interior. Your heart pounds in your chest as you raise your hand to knock, the weight of your decision heavy on your shoulders. 
With the wedding tomorrow, you do not know how she will react to your request.
The door creaks open, revealing the warm glow of Miss Son's office. Stepping inside, you're enveloped by the scent of parchment and ink, a comforting aroma that reminds you of countless meetings and tasks undertaken within these walls.
"Come in," Miss Son's voice breaks through your reverie, and you enter, feeling a mixture of nerves and determination.
"Miss Son, I'm afraid I must pardon myself from my role," you state, the words coming out in a rush.
Miss Son's expression softens with concern as she listens to your explanation, “Why so suddenly? Is Princess Mia giving you a hard time?” She leans forward, her gaze unwavering as she waits for you to continue.
"No, no, she is quite lovely...I fear I haven't seen my brothers in a long time. I think it is time for me to go back and care for them," you explain, your voice faltering slightly as you try to mask the true reason behind your decision.
Miss Son's eyes narrow, a knowing glint in her gaze, "Are you sure this has nothing to do with the Crown Prince marrying the Princess?" she asks gently, her tone filled with understanding.
You swallow hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. The truth hangs heavy in the air, begging to be acknowledged.
"Whatever do you mean?" you reply, though you know she sees right through your facade.
“I mean, I am head of over one hundred servants, I know everything that happens within these castle walls,” she gestures around the room with her finger, eyebrows raised expectantly, “You and Prince Jaeyun lack discretion. Sneaking around, leaving traces of yourself which I have had to clean up, you are both useless at this secret love affair.”
Of course, she knew everything. You and Jaeyun were not exactly quiet in your passionate encounters and pieces of your uniform lay in different areas of the castle; you just thought you were both extremely lucky, but it happens that your luck is named Miss Son.
“I understand why you must leave but it will be a great shame to lose you, Miss Y/N,” she offers a smile of sympathy before gesturing you away quickly, “Now go get some rest and leave tomorrow morning. With the commotion of the wedding, you should be able to sneak out with ease.”
You bow appreciatively to her, muttering an almost silent thank you as you retreat to your bed chambers, your bones heavy with sorrow.
_____
The tranquillity of the maid's chambers envelops you as you nestle beneath your threadbare quilt, its thin fabric offering little comfort against the weight of your thoughts. With the royal wedding looming just 17 hours away, sleep eludes you as you mentally chart your journey back home.
The prospect of reuniting with your brothers brings a bittersweet relief, a respite from the tumult that swirls within the castle walls. However, when you think about your impending departure, you can't shake the lingering anguish that pulls at your heartstrings, tying you to this location despite your desire to move on.
Jaeyun.
As you ponder the situation laid before you, you wonder whether Jaeyun fully comprehends the ramifications of his decisions. Half of your heart longs to remain by his side, hoping to guide him away from the path of destruction. But you cannot be by his side, not after tomorrow.
The door to your room creaks open, the sound echoing softly in the dimly lit quarters. You lay still, pretending to be asleep, though your senses are alert to every sound and movement around you. You suspect it's one of the other maids, returning to collect some forgotten item before retiring for the night.
Miss Son has led the others to the tavern for a ‘light’ celebration ahead of the royal wedding. While it was meant to be a joyous occasion, the event only serves to heighten your anxiety. You would find little joy in the festivities, preferring the quiet solitude of your room.
As the footsteps draw closer to your bed, your pulse quickens, and you hold your breath, hoping to discourage any interaction. However, when you feel the mattress dip slightly and warm arms encircle your waist, your tension begins to ebb away.
The touch is unmistakably Jaeyun's, sending a jolt of both comfort and turmoil through your body. Despite your conflicting feelings, you find yourself relaxing into his embrace, seeking refuge in the quiet intimacy of the moment.
“My love, I am sorry,” he says quietly, his lips peppering kisses to your shoulder blade, each kiss lingering longer than the last. His hands trace the outline of your figure as they etch along your waist and sides.
Jaeyun has never laid with you like this, the opportunities scarce in the secrets of the night, this moment only makes you wish you had taken more chances to hold one another close.
“Jaeyun, you cannot be here,” you state, trying to swallow your love and sorrow, but they’re far too big to choke down.
“Face me, Y/N,” he commands, his tone is not forceful but pleading. He needs you to look at him to fully see his emotions. As of right now, you think of him as a deceitful Prince, set to ruin innocent lives, and he will not stand for it, “Please.”
It is hard to face a man you love who seems to mirror only a shell of himself, yet, you turn around per his request. Perhaps it was the hierarchy that lay between you, or maybe it is just your love for him that outweighs any apprehension you have of him.
Your eyes meet and his heart stops, the tears in your eyes only exhibit how this is affecting you, “I cannot stand you being mad at me,” his lips pout as he speaks and you wish to kiss him like never before.
In your mind, if you kiss him right now it may cause a chain reaction in which he changes his mind on the matters of Lethamhill, but that is foolish thinking.
"Jaeyun, you know I cannot condone what you're doing," you reply softly, your voice laced with sadness, "This marriage, this plan - it is wrong. It goes against everything I thought you stood for."
He reaches out to gently brush a stray tear from your cheek, his touch sending a shiver down your spine, "I know, Y/N. Believe me, I never wanted any of this," he confesses, his voice laced with regret.
You search his eyes, grappling with conflicting emotions of love, anger, and betrayal. Regardless of the hurt, you can't help but feel a flicker of hope at his words. Maybe there's still a chance to sway him, to remind him of the man you once knew - the man who would never sacrifice his principles for power.
“My Jaeyun is in there somewhere, I know he is. Why can’t he be the one to rule as King Consort and make this right?” you beg, your hands playing with the tassels of his white nightshirt.
Jaeyun’s expression is unwavering with regret and pain, “He will be, I will make sure of it.”
“But how? I cannot see him when I look at you,” you retort, lip quivering at the prospect of losing him both figuratively and physically.
“He needs you to guide him, I need you to guide me, that much was clear today,” he begins, his lips find your shoulder once again, his teeth laying claim to you. All the marks from your previous encounters have begun to fade, leaving you bare for someone else to take hold, and he refuses to let that happen.
He must fix this.
Sucking on the base of your neck, his hands grip the back of your thighs, pulling you further into his body, your legs now sandwiched between his, “Today, you made me see my ways, how it was wrong of me to honour a vow to one kingdom and not another. I need you by my side.” 
Being surrounded by his father and his men, their constant words or assurance that this is the right thing to do for Glengyre swayed him to believe it too. Then you put him in his place, allowing him to see how preposterous the plan was. 
He needs you.
Jaeyun kisses up to the side of your mouth, his eyes now looking desperately into yours, “Please do not go tomorrow.”
“How did you know?”
“Miss Son, she told me,” he confesses.
Your hands lay splayed on his chest as you contemplate whether to bring him closer, or push him away, “How am I meant to stand by idly while I lose you and know of your plans?” you query.
It is selfish of him to ask such a request, he knows this, but he will not lose hope on you so easily, “Trust me, please, just trust me. If not as Prince Jaeyun, as your Jaeyun.” 
His words echo in your mind, battling internally whether to fully put your faith in a man who not a few days ago swore destruction to people like yourself.
The room feels suffocatingly small as you grapple with your thoughts, his touch igniting a storm of conflicting feelings within you. His lips trailing along your skin, leaving a trail of warmth and desire in their wake, only serve to cloud your thoughts further.
But amidst the haze of uncertainty, there's a glimmer of hope - a flicker of the man you once knew, buried beneath layers of duty and obligation. You can't help but cling to that hope, to the belief that somewhere within him, the true Jaeyun still exists.
His lips softly press themselves against yours, the feeling causing stray tears to slip from your eyes. You missed him and his kiss only served as evidence of his equal longing for you.
You grip onto his nightshirt and pull him to lay on top of you, the feeling of your lover in your arms is suddenly the only thing occupying your mind. All your worries and woes are now gone, washed away from your brain as his tongue slips into your mouth and his body is pressed heavily against you.
"I missed you terribly, my love," he murmurs against your lips, his words tinged with longing, "Tell me you thought of me?"
His yearning infuses his words, coaxing the last remnants of tears to escape your eyes, "Every waking moment was filled with thoughts of you," you confess, holding him tighter, seeking solace in his embrace.
Your admission blankets him with comfort, reassured by the enduring strength of your love. Initially, when you urged him to marry Princess Mia, part of him foolishly believed it was to liberate yourselves from secrecy and not just for the good of the people, that you grew tired of sneaking around the cold castle with him. Now, as he holds you close once more, your kisses igniting need, he realises the folly of that assumption.
With his right hand, he brushes aside the strap of your nightie, allowing your tit to spill slightly from its confines. The sight of your ample flesh awakens a hunger within Jaeyun, prompting him to lean in, his teeth gently grazing the curve of your breast.
His mouth leaves a trail of open-mouthed kisses as he descends toward your nipple, delicately taking it into his mouth. With a mixture of tenderness and fervent desire, he nibbles and flicks the nub, his tongue swirling eagerly around it. His hands firmly grip your waist, anchoring your writhing body in place.
You're consumed by a desperate longing for him, craving his love once more, unable to wait as he teases your body.
Jaeyun knows that you both usually do not have time, opting for a quick session of raw passion before retreating to your chambers. But tonight is different. Tonight, there are no constraints, no fear of interruption or pressing obligations. Tonight, he is entirely yours, dedicated to fulfilling every desire and whim that you may have. Jaeyun had made sure every servant was out of the quarters till at least dawn.
What you thought was Miss Son’s idea was founded behind Jaeyun’s generosity. 
As Jaeyun continues to lavish attention on your breast, his ministries grow more fervent, driven by the desire to reconnect with you. His lips and tongue work in tandem, igniting sparks of pleasure that course through your body like wildfire.
"Jaeyun," you moan, the sound escaping your lips in a breathless plea as his hand slips beneath your nightgown and into your panties, "I need you," you confess, your fingers tracing urgent paths up and down his back as you attempt to remove his shirt, eager to feel the warmth of his skin against yours.
"I know, darling, I know," he murmurs, his words intermingled with kisses that caress the sensitive flesh of your erect nipple, "But tonight, I want to savour every moment with you, to show you just how much you mean to me."
His touch ignites a fire within you as two of his fingers glide along the slick surface of your arousal, drawing forth a soft purr of satisfaction from your lips. Your body hums with anticipation, aching for his touch as he guides his digits to your entrance, the sensation of them slipping inside you with effortless ease sending waves of pleasure crashing over you.
As Jaeyun's fingers delve deeper into your slick warmth, a gasp escapes your lips, your body instinctively arching into his touch. Each stroke of your walls sends ripples of pleasure coursing through you, heightening the intensity of the moment.
His lips are back on yours as he thrusts his fingers in at a fast pace, his thumb now finding your clit as he rapidly flicks it back and forth. The motion causes you to breathe into his mouth, your lover feeling as though you are injecting him with newfound life. He knew he had missed you but having you like this, surrendering to his touch only made it much more evident in his heart.
“You are so beautiful, Y/N. You are utterly captivating, a masterpiece brought to life," he whispers, his voice filled with awe. 
Despite your comparisons of yourself to Princess Mia that you made earlier, you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world with his words. And to him, you are. You will always be the most breathtaking girl he will ever see; not even Aphrodite holds a candle to you, especially not as your face contorts in pleasure.
Each curl and stretch of his fingers scissors you open, making you whine in his ear as you beg him to go faster, which he obliges, his forearm veins protruding as he tenses, putting all his might into pleasuring you.
His unrelenting tempo, along with the tantalising exploration of his tongue, drives you to the edge of bliss, preparing you for the impending release that pulses inside you like a building storm. "Jaeyun, I'm cumming," you manage to exclaim, your words muffled against his lips as you exchange air and need.
"Cum, my love. Let go for me," he pleads, his voice gruff as he grinds his hardness against the fragile flesh of your thigh, looking for some type of release. Trapped in his night bottoms, the throbbing in his loins worsens with each passing second.
With a rough curl of his fingers, you surrender to the torrent of sensation that crashes over you, crying out his name as pleasure consumes you whole. Your body convulses in the throes of orgasm, your essence spilling over his hand. You only wish it was his cock.
Luckily for you, he also dreams of being inside you, the friction on his dick unbearable as he watches you heave out short breaths as your body tries to regulate itself. 
Jaeyun removes his hand from your swollen cunt, kneeling between your legs as he takes in your already spent body. But he isn’t finished with you.
Swiftly, Jaeyun sheds his clothing, the fabric falling to the floor in a whisper of motion before crawling back on top of you. He reaches for your nightgown's hem, sliding his fingertips over the shabby fabric as he tugs it up and over your head. In the dark light, your nude body is bathed in a delicate glow, a picture of ethereal beauty that makes him gasp with need.
As your bodies meld together, skin to skin, the electric current of desire arcs between you. His lips capture yours once again in a searing kiss, hands roaming over your body as he longs to feel every inch of you.
You can’t help but wonder if this will be the last time you have Jaeyun in your arms like this, so you have to make it count.
Sitting up, you feel a burst of confidence rush through you as you push him onto his back, your hands firmly grabbing his shoulders to keep him in place. The horror on his face only strengthens your urge to straddle him, a natural need propelling you forward.
His eyes widen in surprise at your sudden assertiveness, unaccustomed to you taking the lead in your lovemaking. But there's a spark of excitement in his eyes, an eagerness to yield to your touch and let you have your way with him.
Positioning yourself above him, you guide his erect cock beneath you, your core pulsating with excitement. You lower yourself onto him with tantalising slowness, the smooth heat of your sex wrapping around his length inch by inch.
As you start moving, a low sigh leaves his lips, and your hips swing back and forth, The sensation of his hardness buried deep within you sends sparks of ecstasy coursing through your veins, starting a fire that threatens to engulf you both.
Jaeyun's whimpers of bliss fill the air, his hands tightening around your hips as he tries to match your relentless pace, pushing up to meet you with frantic desperation. "God, Y/N," he exclaims, his voice thick with need, "You feel incredible wrapped around me like this."
Your claws sink into his chest as you bounce with renewed zest, taking complete control. Your motions are quick and commanding, leaving him with no choice but to give in to the intense feelings racing through his body, "I've missed this," you admit, your voice heavy with desire, "missed the way you fill me up."
“You have?” he opens his eyes to see your tits bouncing up and down your chest, a sight he thought about most as he stroked his member in the shower while you were out of reach, “Do you want me to fill you up properly?” he asks in a mischievous tone, his hand pulling your head to meet his, cloaking your lips with his own.
Nodding, you mewl into his mouth as both of you groan simultaneously, the sound of skin slapping and your vocalised pleasure bouncing along the walls. It’s raw and passionate, it’s unlike any other time Jaeyun has fucked into you. It’s a memory you’ll cherish forever, especially if this was to be the last time.
“Y/N, my love, I can’t hold out much longer,” he confesses as his eyebrows scrunch together, trying to hold himself back from releasing into you until he knows you’re going to cum again.
Heeding your request, he grips your waist tight, halting your movements as he pistons into you, using all his might to bring you both to the peak. With 3 forceful thrusts, his hips stutter and legs tense as he shoots his seed into you, endless hot spurts painting your walls.
“Please cum inside me, let me feel it,” you beg between kisses, riding him so hard that your thin bed frame is on the verge of collapsing beneath you.
It feels like a dream to have his cum stuffed inside of you again, causing you to follow suit, cumming over his cock with a scream of his name, one that could surely be heard all the way to Lethamhill. 
Jaeyun proceeds to buck his hips up into you, riding out your orgasms together as you collapse on top of him. The inside of your thighs tremble from your combined pleasure, and the intensity of your lovemaking leaves you both breathless and exhausted.
As you come down, you find yourselves tangled together in a mess of limbs and sweat, your bodies still humming with the aftershocks of your shared passion. And as you lie there, spent and sated in each other's arms, you only feel the love between both of you radiating through your shared pants.
Looking up at him, you see his eyes glazed with satisfaction, a lazy smile plastered on the Crown Prince’s gorgeous face. He always spoke about how you were a vision, yet he is the one with a beauty so rare it’s almost impossible to understand how he is real.
But he is and he is holding you in his arms as he slips out of you, pulling your body up to rest more comfortably on himself. 
Your mind now clearing up from the fog of sex allows you to go back to your conversation before this impromptu session with him. 
"Can you truly change the course of this plan?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper as you search his eyes for any sign of reassurance.
Jaeyun's gaze meets yours, unwavering in its intensity, "I will do whatever it takes to make things right, I will find a way to reconcile my duty with my conscience."
"I want to believe you," you admit, your voice trembling with vulnerability, "But I need more than words, Jaeyun. I need to see action, to know that you're truly committed to making amends."
Jaeyun nods solemnly, understanding the weight of your request. "I will show you, Y/N. I will prove to you that I am worthy of your trust," he vows, his fingers gently tracing patterns along your skin as if to imprint his promise upon you.
“How?”
“I have a plan, but I must detail it out first before I speak it aloud. Please, just trust me.”
_____
The castle is filled with people here to watch the wedding, the wedding you have been dreading since Jaeyun left your quarters last night. He snuck out in the early hours of the morning before the rest of the staff came home. It was a bittersweet goodbye, your bodies that were tangled with one another for hours were pried apart, possibly forever.
The final kiss he placed on your lips is all you can think about as you stand obediently with the other staff, Heeseung by your side as everyone awaits Princess Mia’s arrival. The buzz around the hall is electric yet you feel like an insect, the closer you get to the nuptials, the closer you are to being zapped in the heart.
You feel uneasy as you see Jaeyun fiddle with his ring, the one he will take from his right hand and place on his bride. The more you ponder, the more you come to the realisation that maybe you should have just left, gone home with the cloak of the wedding as your opportunity to flee. 
But Jaeyun asked you to trust him, that he will do the right thing for everyone. The trust you have does not cancel out your breaking heart, however. 
Dressed in his princely attire, Jaeyun exudes a regal air as he stands at the altar, his uniform immaculate and his demeanour poised. Every detail of his appearance seems meticulously crafted to accentuate his undeniable beauty, from the crisp white fabric adorned with intricate gold detailing to the way his dark locks are artfully styled to frame his face.
As the royal band fills the air with music, the grandeur of the moment is punctuated by the entrance of Princess Mia, a vision of grace and elegance. Jaeyun's gaze shifts to her, momentarily captivated by her presence, and you feel a pang of sadness knowing that this is the beginning of the end for you.
This was it, you were losing him before your very eyes, but you cannot be selfish. This was the right thing to do, a sacrifice you must abide by for the kingdom you love. 
Truth be told, it is easier to come to terms with marriage now that you know Jaeyun will do whatever is in his power to truly bring solace between both Glengyre and Lethamhill. Before, once Heeseung revealed the malicious plans to you, you started to wonder if giving up your love was worth it or if it was all for nothing, but now you know it will not be in vain. 
Princess Mia greets Jaeyun at the alter and curtsies, her fiance mirroring her action while you swallow the lump in your throat. There is a glint in both their eyes, while you know it isn’t love, you do question it with a pierced heart. If Jaeyun were to fall in love with her, which is not implausible considering even in the short-lived time you acted as her maid-in-waiting you witnessed how humble and gracious she is, just as Jaeyun is. They match perfectly in every way.
You fight the urge to cry as the ceremony gets underway, the Bishop beginning to unify them both together. 
The moment arrives when the officiant solemnly intones, "If anyone present knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." The weight of the words hangs heavy in the air, the tension palpable as the guests hold their breath. 
Not a soul would be foolish enough to-
“We object.”
A choir of gasps fill the air as two harmonious voices speak their objection. Your eyes fall upon them as they smile at one another, letting go of their hands. 
Prince Jaeyun and Princess Mia objected to their own wedding. 
The shock reverberates through the room, eyes widen and murmurs erupt among the attendees. Not you nor Heeseung know what to do in this situation, both of you staring at Jaeyun with bewilderment, wondering what on earth he was doing.
Was this part of his grand plan?
"Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests of Glengyre and Lethamhill," he begins, his voice steady yet filled with conviction. "I stand before you today not only as your Prince but as a voice for justice and truth. For too long, a shadow of deceit has loomed over our kingdoms, orchestrated by none other than my own father, the King of Glengyre."
He pauses, allowing his words to sink in, before continuing with a sense of urgency, "It has come to my attention that he was exploiting this marriage as a means to hold Lethamhill hostage, to seize complete control and dominate its people. This nefarious plan would only bring harm and danger to both our kingdoms, jeopardizing the lives and well-being of our citizens. The exact opposite of what he has promised you all."
Beside him, Princess Mia nods in agreement, her expression mirroring his determination, "Furthermore," Jaeyun continues, "Princess Mia has brought to my attention disturbing revelations regarding her father, King James of Lethamhill. It has been made clear to us that he seeks to exploit this union to unlawfully seize land and resources from Glengyre, with the intent of displacing our people to expand his own domain."
The outrage in his voice is palpable, his eyes flashing with defiance as he declares, "Princess Mia and I stand united in our outrage and determination to put an end to these injustices. We refuse to allow our kingdoms to be pawns in the power games of corrupt rulers. It is time for us to take a stand."
Jaeyun’s eyes flicker to you as he utters his next words.
“We will not be getting married.” 
Your knees buckle beneath you, a surge of relief and disbelief flooding through every fiber of your being. The love of your life, the one you were on the brink of losing forever, stands before you, his gaze locking with yours in a silent exchange of understanding. A small, reassuring smile graces his lips
Beside him, Princess Mia commands attention with unwavering confidence, her voice ringing out with authority, "They are not worthy to rule over our sacred lands," she declares, her words cutting through the tension like a sharpened blade. Her gaze pierces through the gathered officials, her unwavering resolve a stark contrast to their shock, "Their sinister schemes amount to nothing short of treason against the kingdoms they swore to protect," she continues, her tone unwavering, "We demand their immediate dethronement and call for this wedding to be transformed into a coronation for both myself and Prince Jaeyun."
The reaction from the royal box is instantaneous, a cacophony of outraged protests and indignant exclamations filling the air. The two Kings, their faces flushed with fury, rise from their seats in a display of unbridled anger, their voices drowned out by the resounding tumult.
“You cannot do this! I am the rightful King of Glengyre,” Jaeyun’s father shouts across the room.
Jaeyun smiles mockingly to his father, “You are right, we cannot do this, not without a vote from the people of our kingdoms,” he says matter of factly.
As the commotion reaches its peak, Jaeyun and Princess Mia stand firm, their resolve unshaken by the storm of dissent around them. Together, they face the fury of the royal box with unwavering determination, their eyes locked in a silent exchange of solidarity.
Despite the chaos, Jaeyun's voice rises above the din, his words infused with unwavering conviction, "We will not allow our kingdoms to be held hostage by the greed and treachery of a few individuals," he declares, his tone ringing out with authority. "It is our duty as leaders to uphold the values of justice and integrity, to safeguard the well-being of our people above all else."
Princess Mia adds her voice to his, her words echoing his sentiments with equal fervour, "We stand united against tyranny and corruption," she proclaims, her gaze sweeping over the crowd with steely resolve, "Together, we will forge a future built on trust, compassion, and unity."
Heeseung looks to you, eyes wide as if begging for answers, yet, you cannot offer him any. You knew Jaeyun had a plan but to go out on a limb like this was not what you were expecting. Shaking your head, your eyes scan the crowd to see their reaction, each face equally as shocked as they are appalled by the Kings’ true intentions with this union.
“Please stand with us. If you wish for Princess Mia and myself to be respective leaders of our kingdoms, Say I,” Jaeyun exudes confidence in his stature but you look at his hand which is fiddling with his jacket, a telltale sign that he is nervous.
Who would not be nervous? This could end in death for both Jaeyun and Princess Mia. If they do not have the people on their side, the Kings will seek to execute them, that much is a given.
The guests in the pews whisper to one another, the discussions hushed as they consider Jaeyun’s words. Your heart races as you await the collective response from the guests. Will they stand with Jaeyun and Princess Mia, or will fear and uncertainty prevail, leaving them isolated and vulnerable to the wrath of the Kings? The air is heavy with anticipation, each second stretching into an eternity as the fate of Glengyre and Lethamhill hangs in the balance.
“I,” a voice from beside you yells out, causing you to flinch. Heeseung, the once esteemed royal guard makes the first vocalisation of agreement. It shocks you considering he was always one to worship the king, “I give my faith to a new king,” he stands forward, kneeling before Jaeyun.
His actions cause a domino effect, echoes of ‘I’ and ‘Here here’ can be heard throughout the hall, each person projecting their trust in their Prince and Princess. 
The prince looks at you with pleading eyes, hoping your trust can be stretched to this moment. 
“I,” you say, the words are lost amongst the commotion but Jaeyun sees it, the love in your eyes, the trust in him to lead the kingdom you hold dear to your heart. Although he must get the approval of all his people, you are the one he needs it from the most. Without your support, he doesn’t feel fit enough to be King.
“Guards, please see the Kings out,” he orders before turning to face the bishop, “Would you do the honours of coronating us, your grace,” he bows, showing his respect.
“Kneel before me, Your Highness,” the Bishop speaks softly.
The hall once filled with chaos and debacle is now silent, smiles and hearts full as their honourable Crown Prince is made King of Glengyre. You have never felt pride for the royal family, but you know that will all change now.
As he is crowned, a hush falls over the hall, a reverent silence that speaks volumes of the significance of this moment. Jaeyun, now King of Glengyre, rises from his kneeling position with a newfound solemnity, his eyes shining with determination and purpose. Beside him, Princess Mia also kneels, her hand clasped firmly in his as they prepare to lead their kingdoms into a new era of prosperity and unity.
The Bishop's voice carries through the hall as he recites the ancient words of coronation, his tone reverent and ceremonial. With each word spoken, the weight of responsibility settles upon Jaeyun's shoulders, a reminder of the solemn duty he has undertaken to rule justly and with compassion.
As the final words of the coronation ritual echo through the hall, Jaeyun and Princess Mia exchange a meaningful glance, their bond strengthened by the vows they have made before their people. They will do what their fathers couldn’t.
“There is to be a party to celebrate the union tonight, the entirety of the kingdoms are invited,” King Jaeyun proclaims, beaming with pride before ushering Queen Mia out of the hall.
With the commotion of happiness and celebration, you get swept up by Heeseung, swinging you around in his arms. The feeling leaves you with a sense of purpose and gratitude to both rulers of the kingdoms. They did what most would be too scared to do, a testament to their love for their citizens.
_____
The night sky above Glengyre is ablaze with the glow of a thousand lanterns, casting a warm and inviting light over the festivities below. The sound of laughter and music fills the air, mingling with the tantalizing aroma of roasted meats and spiced wines. People from all walks of life gather in the grand courtyard of the castle, their differences set aside as they come together to celebrate the dawn of a new era. Never in your years of living did you think you would ever see such a promise for the people.
Jaeyun ordered carriages and carts to bring those on the outskirts of the kingdoms to the castle, making good on his promise. He wanted everyone to be part of this victory, especially those who had suffered at the hands of his father.
Effortlessly, Jaeyun navigates through the people, garnering respect and esteem from everyone he comes into contact with. He pauses to meet and converse with both royalty and peasants, his sincere kindness and humility converting even the most cynical minds.
Barrels of liquor and wine line the perimeter, and long tables creak beneath the weight of indulgent treats, transforming the courtyard into a true feast. Musicians play lively tunes, encouraging guests to dance and revel late into the night.
You, amidst the crowd of celebrants, are witnessing a momentous occasion. You are witnessing how a kingdom ripped apart by conflict and division can come together under a banner of growth and optimism. And you see that Glengyre's future is more promising than ever when you see the happy smiles of your fellow citizens.
“Thank you for trusting me,” Jaeyun’s low voice whispers beside you as he rests his hand on the lower part of your back. Instinctively, you go to move away, scared to be seen, but he holds you in place, hand gripped tight.
Looking into his eyes, you find yourself lost in the depths of his gaze, each flicker of light reflecting his unwavering determination. His touch sends a shiver down your spine as he gently kisses your hand, a gesture that feels both intimate and surreal.
"I trust you to be a fine king," you murmur softly, sincerity lacing every word. "It already looks good on you," you add with a playful smirk, admiring his regal presence and undeniable charisma.
Jaeyun chuckles, a twinkle of amusement dancing in his eyes as he spins around, basking in your laughter. The joyous sound fills the air, a melody that he never tires of hearing. When he finally stands before you again, his expression grows serious, his hands still clasping yours.
"You know, being a queen would look good on you," he remarks, his tone teasing yet earnest.
You scoff incredulously, unable to fathom such a notion. "Perhaps one could dream of that in another lifetime."
"Why not this one?" Jaeyun counters, his gaze unwavering as he meets your eyes.
Confusion clouds your features as you struggle to comprehend his meaning. Before you can protest further, he continues, his words carrying a weight that leaves you breathless.
"Well, I am a king without a queen. It does look rather pathetic, doesn’t it?" he jests lightly, his smile masking the gravity of his declaration. "But with you by my side…"
The implications of his words hit you like a bolt of lightning, leaving you reeling in disbelief. "You cannot make me queen, Jaeyun," you protest weakly, your heart fluttering erratically at the mere thought.
Jaeyun's smile softens, his gaze filled with tenderness as he squeezes your hands reassuringly. "But when I marry you, you will not have a choice."
The weight of his proclamation hangs heavy in the air, each syllable sinking into your consciousness with undeniable clarity. To marry Jaeyun is a dream beyond your wildest imaginings, a fantasy that you never dared to entertain. Yet here he stands, offering you a future that you once believed to be unattainable.
"That is preposterous, Jaeyun. You can’t marry a maid," you protest, the words tumbling from your lips in a mixture of disbelief and awe.
Shrugging, he lets go of your hands, “It is not the most scandalous thing I have done this week,” he smirks, eyebrows wiggling as you both recall the events that just happened a mere few hours ago.
Taking the ring from his right pinky finger, he holds it out to you, face serious now, "Marry me," he implores, his voice filled with earnestness, "be the queen our people need. I trust no one but you to help guide me to better serve this kingdom."
Your throat tightens with emotion, tears brimming in your eyes as you gaze at the ring before you, a symbol of love and commitment. It is a moment that takes your breath away, a choice that will shape the course of your future and the destiny of your kingdom.
As you reach out to take the ring, the weight of Jaeyun's words hangs heavy in the air. Marrying him would mean stepping into a world of royalty, a world you never imagined yourself a part of. Yet, with each passing moment, the idea becomes more alluring.
But reality crashes in, reminding you of the vast chasm that separates your worlds. "Jaeyun, you know I cannot," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with both longing and resignation, "I am but a maid, not worthy of such a title."
Jaeyun's expression softens, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine, "You are worthy of so much more than you realise, Y/N," he insists, his voice gentle but unwavering, "You have already proven yourself to be a queen in every way that matters."
His words resonate within you, stirring something deep within your soul. For so long, you had resigned yourself to the confines of your station, never daring to reach for something beyond your grasp. But now, faced with the possibility of a future with Jaeyun, you find yourself daring to believe in the impossible.
Gently, he slides the ring onto your finger, and you feel a rush of warmth flood through you as if sealing a pact with destiny itself. Looking up at Jaeyun, you find yourself unable to speak, overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment.
Without a word, Jaeyun pulls you into his arms, holding you close as if to reassure you of his love and commitment. In that embrace, you feel a sense of belonging, a sense of purpose that you never thought possible.
“I love you, Y/N. I am at your mercy as your future husband and as your king.”
You smile widely, sniffling away the happiness of tears that fall from your face, “I love you, too, Jaeyun. I vow myself to you forever.”
Your husband-to-be kisses the top of your head as he pulls away, joy radiating from every atom of his being, “Let us celebrate, perhaps in the council chamber?” he teases, fingers trickling up your forearms.
With a sarcastic rolling of your eyes, you follow him. Not just for tonight, but forever.
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