#especially with how heavy her autistic coding is

[moonmunson]

either way / no doubt

a/n: either way and no doubt by Odie Leigh have been on repeat currently and I relate to them so heavily so I word vomited on a Google docs. its a little rushed but oh well LMAO (I'm also always writing with a plus sized reader in mind)

cw: over thinker fem!reader, autistic coded reader, not knowing how to enter into a first serious relationship, kind lover boy!Eddie, no use of y/n

wc: 2.1k

It is the beginning of Spring when she meets Eddie Munson. Genuinely meets him, not just sees him around town and wonders what it’s like to be in his orbit. Working at the local diner, she sees him and his group of friends often. She’s served them a couple times, and they’re always respectful - albeit rambunctious. They tip well, stack their dishes for the busboys to clear, wave to her on the way out. 

It’s the day Eddie comes in by himself that marks it as different, new. He sits in her section of the diner, glances her way and then averts his gaze when she meets it. That’s odd, but she doesn’t think much else of it. Not until the end of his meal - consisting of a solitary cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie - does he stop her when she checks to see if he needs anything. 

He asks if she’d want to hang out sometime, and she laughs - a forced exhale of nerves. He asks why she’s laughing, and she doesn’t know what to say. After a few moments of awkward silence, she relents and shrugs. What would we do? He says anything she wants. What if she doesn’t know what she wants to do? He says they’ll figure it out together. 

They end up sitting in the back of Eddie’s van, the open doors facing Lover’s Lake. She’s fidgety, and stumbling over her words. He keeps staring at her when she talks and she’s not used to anybody doing this much work to stay focused on her and what she has to say, especially because she’s not saying much of substance. He asks her so many questions, and mundane ones at that. How are classes at the community college? What’s your major? She answers as best she can. 

The feeling of someone looking at her makes her skin crawl. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, she’s uncomfortably aware of the position of her nose on her face, which seems incredibly silly, and then she’s thinking about just how silly that is when he asks her if she’s alright. 

“Sorry?”

“I was just asking if you felt alright. It looked like you went away for a second there,” Eddie ducks his head down to catch her line of sight. Eye contact has always been difficult for her, but this is different - warm - like sunshine. “I know I’m not the most exciting person to talk to, but I hope you’re having a good time. I enjoy talking to you.” 

“I’m here, sorry. I like talking to you too.”

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s okay.”

“Sorry. Oh-” She sucks in a breath and places her hand over her mouth, eyes wide at the realization of her mistake. He giggles, a sweet boyish sound, and it warms his face. She thinks she could love that face, if he let her. If she knew how. She laughs too, despite herself. “It’s a bad habit. I really have to stop apologizing so much.” 

He’s still smiling when he says it’s okay, he understands. 

Later, when he drops her off at her apartment, the sun has gone down. The ride he’d offered her is relatively quiet. It’s a strange thing, to see the way someone adjusts themself around you. The usual loud heavy metal is absent here. The fast driving and sharp turns are traded in for complying with the speed limit, graceful steering and soft brakes. When he looks at her, she directs her gaze out the window - when she looks at him, he is focused on the road. 

He stops her as she takes off her seatbelt and goes to open the door, jumping out of his own and running around the front of the van to open it for her. She leads him to her front door, and he asks if he can see her again, if he can have her number. She nods, and rummages around her purse for a few frantic seconds before finding her waitress notepad and pen. When she rips the page out that she’s written her number on and hands it to him, he clutches it to his chest and smiles.  

“I’ll call you when I get home, if that’s okay. Just to let you know I made it back safely.”

“And if I want to keep talking to you?”

“We can talk for as long as you want to.” 

“Okay.” 

Eddie walks backwards for a few seconds, keeping his eyes locked on hers, paper still against his heart. By the time he’s made it back to his van, he lifts a hand up for a short wave goodbye, and turns to face the vehicle. 

Now or never. 

“Eddie?” In true Munson fashion, he whips around completely at the sound of her calling out to him. 

“Yeah, sweets?” 

“I just wanted to tell you I had a really nice time with you today. I can’t wait for you to call me later.” She tucks her hair behind her ears, needing to do something with her hands to offset the nausea brought about by her impulsive vulnerability. He smiles wider, if that’s even possible. 

“I’m glad you had a good time. I’ve been wanting to ask you out forever, Gareth and the guys kept busting my balls about it. I promise I’ll call when I get home.” 

She nods, her eyes tracking his steps as he makes it to his car. She watches him drive off. It feels so strange, this immediate wanting him to come back, wanting him to come inside and crawl into her brain. To know her fully. It scares her in a way she’s incredibly unused to. When she can’t hear the music blasting from his speakers anymore, she makes her way inside and slumps against the door for a few seconds. 

He does call when he gets home, and they talk until the sun rises. 

__

They spend the next few days talking on the phone. It’s easier like this, she thinks. She doesn’t have to worry about the way she looks when she’s thinking of something to say. She doesn’t have to avoid his white hot gaze, the way she can feel it trail over her face when she’s speaking. If he notices how much more she opens up to him when they’re not actively sitting next to each other, he doesn’t mention it. 

When they’re not on the phone, he clings to her brainspace like moss on a tree. She can’t stop thinking about him, to the point she’s worried she’s obsessing over something that isn’t there. He’d said he had a good time, he said he enjoyed talking to her, so why does it keep bothering  her so much? He feels safe. He does feel safe, but she’s not used to conversations with no expectations. No guise, no hidden agenda. If he notices the way she starts to pull away due to her overthinking, her sentences shorter and stunted, he doesn’t mention it. He carries on as usual, calling her to talk about what he’d done that day. It makes her smile. 

When he asks, unprompted, if he can see her again, she says yes. 

__

They go to the lake again. It is an early March morning, the last tendrils of Winter still grasping desperately for some kind of recognition against early Spring. He brings a blanket and hot cocoa for both of them, and she feels it in her chest - warm and sweet and chocolatey, like his eyes. It’s easier this time, talking to him. She spends less time worried about her posture and cadence - more time really listening to him speak and trying her hardest to maintain eye contact. 

The early morning breeze makes ripples on the otherwise still surface of the water. It’s so beautiful. He’s so beautiful. He’s so expressive when he speaks. She used to think he was careless, jumping on tables and riling up the people he knew didn’t like him. Seeing him up close like this, she realizes it’s kind of the opposite. It’s careful, planned, the way he uses his hands, his eyes. Even when he’s talking about a book he's read a million times, she feels like she's there among the scenery and characters he describes. It’s entirely captivating. She wants to be more like him. Carefully carefree. 

She’s never done this kind of thing - the relationship kind of thing. If that’s what this is, she has no idea how to traverse this new terrain. She can’t find her footing, she doesn’t know what the formula is, what the proper way to go about it looks like. She doesn’t think about sounding weird when she asks:

“What are we doing?” 

Eddie pauses mid sip, brings the cup back down to his lap. 

“Currently? Or like, with our lives?” He chuffs out a little laugh. Not in a teasing way, though it's hard for her to differentiate. “Because currently, from my perspective at least, I’m sitting in my van with a pretty girl talking about our favorite books. What I’m doing with my life is something a lot of people, including me, would really like to know.” 

Levity, she recognizes. 

“Sorry if it's a weird question, I just…” She trails off, breaking eye contact, looking at her hands in her lap. He scoots forward a bit, the side of his thigh touching hers as their legs dangle off the back of the van. He doesn’t push her to say anything, doesn’t acknowledge the unneeded apology, doesn’t fill the silence with his own voice.  He just waits, patiently. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him sit this still. 

“I really like you, and I really like talking to you. I’ve never done anything like this,” She uses her pointer finger to gesture between the two of them, drawing a connecting line between their bodies, “I don’t know how to, if that makes sense. I’m not really a lot of people’s type, I guess.” 

“Hey, look at me,” Eddie sets the cup down next to him and very gently takes her hand, locks their fingers together. When she raises her eyes to meet his, he continues. “There’s no rush, I mean it. You set the pace here, okay? I like you, like a lot. If all you wanna do is sit here and talk, I’m totally fine with that. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”  

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, sweets.” 

“What if you find out how weird I am and decide you don’t want to talk to me anymore?” 

At this, Eddie relinquishes his grip on her hand, hops down from the lip of the back of the van, and stands in front of her. 

“Y’know who you’re talking to?” two thumbs pointed towards himself - eyebrows raised, mouth quirked in a goofy grin, “King of the freaks, misfits, and ne'er do wells. I don’t think you could scare me off, but you’re certainly welcome to try.” 

“So just… be myself?” She scrunches her face up - the idea of being genuine is almost totally foreign to her. 

“Be yourself!” 

“Ew. Yeah, alright, fine.” She sighs in resignation and shrugs a shoulder. Doesn’t think about how convincing he is, or how willing she was to drop some of her defenses. Carefully carefree. She can do it. 

They share a laugh, finishing their luke-warm cocoa together and talking until the sun is high in the sky and the temperature rises too high for them to ignore any longer. This time, the drive home is less quiet. She meets his gaze when he looks over at her from the driver’s seat, she hums along to the sound of the radio, it's nice. Comfortable. 

Just like last time, Eddie hastens to run around the van and open her door for her. He extends a hand to help her down and out, and they stay connected on the short journey to her apartment’s front door. Eddie watches while she digs the keys out of her purse, unlocking the door and leading the both of them inside for a drink. He kicks his shoes off by the welcome mat, and they look like they belong there. 

It is the beginning of Spring when Eddie Munson permanently plants himself in her life, a steadfast source of comfort and nourishment. It is hard for her, and it takes longer than most for her to truly open up. To show him all the nooks and crannies of her mind. He takes it all in stride - her overthinking, her quirks and neuroses. He shows her that it is entirely impossible to trust someone enough to take part in the watering and flowering - that it's not a weight she has to hold alone. She can bloom.

__

if you enjoyed this story please like and reblog!!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson my beloved #eddie munson imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #it is possible to be mentally ill and be in a healthy relationship #it's rotten work #not to me #not if its you #sio writes

[singrate]

The Nick Nelson Autism Master Post

Nick Nelson is autistic and here is why, love from me, who relates harder to him than any other fictional character ever and is very likely autistic myself:

(Note: I’m using evidence from the series, the comics and the novellas here, because there’s some stuff in Nick and Charlie that just screams autism to me.)

Special interests:

Rugby! This seems pretty obvious. He excels at it, it’s his thing, he keeps playing even when he doesn’t like his teammates, and this:

You cannot tell me that’s not an infodump.

Marvel and Formula One - these are only mentioned in passing, but I feel like they fit. Nick is 100% a Stucky shipper.

The Pirates of the Caribbean phase. Sidenote: for about three months after Heartstopper came out I had to watch it every few days or I just felt Wrong.

Sensory stuff:

The deep pressure hugs, especially when he’s stressed or very emotional.

That is sensory seeking behaviour if I’ve ever seen it.

In the series, he never wears his school jumper and rarely wears his blazer. Maybe he just runs hot, but he’s literally sitting in Form in February surrounded by people wearing coats and he’s just wearing a shirt. I think to Nick, the itchy/heavy uniform is a worse fate than being slightly cold.

“He likes the sound felt tips make on paper, rain and minimalism.” Hello???

There is something about his wardrobe. The sheer amount of sportswear and joggers. That’s a sensory thing. There has to be more to it than just that he’s a jock. There’s some bonus material in the back of Volume 2 where Alice has written: “Nick likes comfortable and sporty clothes more than anything. He’d wear joggers every day if he could!” I think maybe the texture/feel of his clothes matters a lot more to him than how they look.

Further to this, in the same bonus section: “Nick finds skinny jeans uncomfy to wear, so dressing up smart usually involves a pair of chinos or looser jeans.” Same vibes.

I also noticed he sticks to the same few brands of clothes, and to me the attachment to his Vans is a combination of autistic brand loyalty (also Carhartt and Adidas) and every other kind of shoe feeling wrong.

When he’s with Nellie, and especially when he’s stressed, he has her putting some of her weight on him. Pressure!!!

In the series he seems to be pretty particular about his hair and the pushing-it-off-his-forehead could be a stim.

He seeks darker/quieter spaces at Harry’s party - obviously this is partly because he just wants to be with Charlie but combine his room always being dimly lit (and don’t get me started on the fairy lights) and the “do you want to go somewhere quieter again?” in your head for me and tell me what conclusion you reach. He’s also visibly way more comfortable in said quieter places at the party.

Crossing his arms tightly like this. That's self-soothing and I will not be convinced otherwise because that's what I do.

In S01E08 when he went in the water with his shoes on I felt it in my bones and it made me want to cry but I think he prefers the horror of wet socks to the horror of Beach Textures.

General social things:

He talks about feeling like he doesn't fit in which is definitely a common trait of autism.

Also, when he’s talking to Imogen at the end of S01E05 it really seems like he planned that speech out in his head and practised it in his head in the shower multiple times. He was workshopping that monologue in his head while he walked to the park I’m telling you. 

Masking:

When Sarah goes: “You seem much more yourself around him.” He feels safe & accepted enough to unmask in front of Charlie (and also Charlie is heavily autistic coded too).

Some of his humour, especially around his Year 11 friends - for example the way he says “Your mum” to Imogen when she asks who he’s texting seems like he’s imitating his friends to fit in.

He has a hard time lying. In S01E03 when he’s talking to Harry after the kiss and says “guess I was just in a mood” he is doing the screwed up face I do when I’m trying to lie to be polite.

Social cues/tone:

He doesn’t seem to make much eye contact with any characters except Charlie, who he makes pretty intense eye contact with. 

There are a handful of moments in the series where he misinterprets the tone of people around him:

S01E01: The “small and weak” moment - he doesn’t pick up that it’s a joke and reacts self-consciously when Charlie points that out. That’s so me of him.

S01E07: His reaction to Charlie’s “he’s not even my type” comment. Not only did Nick’s face here make me want to cry slightly, it basically confirmed my Nick Nelson Autism Trutherism because he definitely misread what Charlie intended to be an inside joke as well as a deflection.

I’m sure there’s more that I’ll remember later

Both of the “her dog died” moments in S01E05 like are you kidding me.

Sitting on Charlie’s bed while soaking wet in S01E04. It’s not obvious to either of them that he probably shouldn’t do that.

That bit in S01E08 where he asks if Charlie wants to get lunch together. There is something so autistic about that moment and I can’t quite articulate it but it’s there.

There are moments when he comes off kind of blunt or abrupt when he obviously doesn't mean to, even towards Charlie, especially in S01E04 - on the rugby pitch and in the antiseptic wipes scene, for example, where he leaves super quickly after Isaac finds them. That scene always kind of upset me until I realised maybe why he's like that.

In Nick and Charlie when he just doesn’t pick up at all that Charlie’s upset about him going on about Leeds. 

He struggles to identify and articulate how he feels and this is a theme in the first couple of volumes of the comics and Season 1. 

In the bonus content at the end of Volume 2, there's also a bit about him having a massive t-shirt collection and not being able to get rid of them even when they don't fit him. Something about having empathy for inanimate objects and Collecting Things.

A collection of screencaps that also scream autism to me:

So basically if you've reached this point in the post and you're not convinced, I haven't done my job properly. You could probably give me any scene from the series and I could tell you how it contributes to my Nick is Autistic thesis.

Another note: I also think he has ADHD or at the very least struggles with executive function - doing his homework last-minute in the hallway, that bit in Nick and Charlie where he says he's shit at replying to text messages.

In summary, I love him and he's me, therefore he is autistic.

#nick nelson #heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #autism #neurodivergent #nick nelson is autistic fight me #nick nelson autism #charlie spring

[winters0689]

A Rant on Trollstopia and Trolls The Beat Goes On

Listen, I get that the Trolls franchise is considered for children and that they obviously won’t delve into heavy angst (I don’t expect them to) BUT I feel like they could do more to address Branch’s issues, especially in the TV shows.

For example, in Trolls The Beat Goes On, the show ends with Branch basically admits that he tries to change himself so that others would like him, and while they do comfort him, I wished that would have been acknowledged in the sequel show (I consider it the sequel show and it’s basically confirmed I think) Trolls Trollstopia.

Now onto Trollstopia… Branch… what did they do to you, my boy?

He is… certainly out of character in some moments. In TBGO, he did have his moments of being not entirely in character (in my opinion) but they at least addressed his issues and how he is working to become a more positive troll.

Now, I know that his issues were mostly resolved in TBGO, and he should have more happier moments, but I feel like they kind of undermined his rigidness with the rules he creates for himself and I would’ve liked to see him put more of his other skills to use, not just his repair skills.

Not to mention I BARELY saw Gary being used! Considering how Branch LOVES protecting others, I would imagine that he would set up even MORE traps, especially with more trolls moving to Trollstopia. Branch doesn’t seem to like change much (he loves rules, and in the holiday special, Holiday In Harmony, he was upset with Poppy briefly changing what they were doing. He’s so autistic coded I can relate to that so much!) and I feel with more trolls arriving, I can imagine there would be moments in which Branch would have to have his schedule changed, and I would’ve liked an episode like that! An episode where he has to confront that sometimes his love for schedules can be detrimental to him! I’m not sure if I’m making any sense, but as someone who loves schedules but also acknowledges that it could be detrimental to me, I would’ve loved an episode where Branch deals with that.

Now, onto him and Poppy. There aren’t many episodes with Branch and Poppy being together! Their relationship with each other (whether you interpret their relationship in the show as platonic or romantic) is one that I love so much! In TBGO, there were at least episodes where Branch or Poppy did something for the other! I remember in one episode that Poppy tried to convince Branch to dance with her and the episode ends with him telling her that she worries so much so he basically had her ask him to dance and it ends with Poppy leading Branch towards the dance floor! I wish there were more moments like that, because their dynamic with each other is one that I adore!

With Trollstopia, I feel like Poppy spends more time with new characters, and while I enjoy that, I wish she got more time to spent with Branch or any of the other characters from the previous show!

Now, onto Creek. I kinda like him (he’s a very comedic character in my opinion) but I would’ve liked an episode in which he… oh, I don’t know, APOLOGIZES FOR THE SHIT THAT HES DONE!!!! (We all know that his ‘apology’ was pure bullshit!) and for him to maybe, just maybe, GOT THE CONSEQUENCES TO HIS ACTIONS INSTEAD OF EVERYONE FORGIVING HIM!!!! He could still be a prick, but at least have the other trolls at least hold some resentment besides Branch and Poppy in some instances. If they really wanted Creek in the show, then acknowledge what he did! Have him show genuine regret for his actions and have some trolls not forgive him for that! Branch is completely justified in disliking Creek, and while I do admit that his ‘I’m Sorry’ song is catchy as fuck, him singing it to Creek was pure BULLSHIT!!!! have him face consequences!

Now sure, I understand that the tone is for children, but maybe they could acknowledge Branch’s issues, at the very least! That’s why I loved how in the episode ‘The Search For Piece’ Branch not only has his problem with relying mostly on himself addressed, but he also asks for the others to help him. It’s an amazing episode, in my opinion, especially with how he spirals and how his friends help him through that, and while they are upset at him, they understand where he is coming from. It has the right amount of angst and comfort and ACTUALLY HAS BRANCH DEALING WITH HIS ISSUES!!!!

Branch has dealt with so much for so many years, he was an outcast, shunned by the pop trolls and was in a negative state of mind for TWO DECADES!!!! As much as I love him being happy, his trauma isn’t going to go away if they keep ignoring them! Yes, they did acknowledge them in TBGO, but the show ends with Branch feeling like he has to change himself to fit in. He was going to blow up his Bunker, his safe space, just to fit in! He still has issues and they need to be addressed so that he could be more happier, to be in a more positive state of mind! While TBGO has its own issues, at least they acknowledge Branch’s struggles and not purely reduce him to being just a troll who is sarcastic and who fixes things!

TL;DR EXPAND OF BRANCHS STRUGGLES AND HAVE HIM TRY TO RESOLVE THEM!!!!

#trolls #trolls branch #branch #trolls the beat goes on #trolls trollstopia #anti trolls trollstopia #anti trolls the beat goes on #just in case!

[pastelcryptid]

something that I’ve personally not seen other people talk about exactly before re: Nope (despite talking in general about neurodivergency in the characters, some offhand jokes about being gender non-conforming) is that

as someone who loves a lot of action movies, save-the-world movies I am very aware on some level when I watch those films  (I mean, movies in general are like this but especially those genres) that they are taken up by (white, cis, straight) men. And as much as I might love those movies and the characters and the tropes, there is a fatigue that comes with experiencing such a high percentage of films where the cast is dominated by men. Sometimes there might be only one woman in the main cast, and you’re lucky if she’s treated well (this is obviously improving slowly), to say nothing of NB people. However, I noticed at some point that, huh, Nope is still a majority male cast. Yet I don’t feel that fatigue when I watch the movie. Why? 

Of what I consider to be the key players, four are men  - OJ, Angel, Jupe/Ricky and Antlers. Even with Otis Sr., who has about 3 minutes of screen time, he is a figure that looms large over the story. He established the ranch, its reputation (that in itself inspired by his great-great grandfather).

Apart from Emerald (appropriately named as she is a fucking gem) there are only a few female speaking parts in the film and they get a handful of lines. I would say that the most important women in the film aside from Em, in terms of how they fit into the themes of the movie, are Amber Park and Mary Jo Elliott. Amber has doesn’t have a huge part, and then she dies horribly. You could say Mary Jo also doesn’t have many lines but actually, when I was writing this I realised... Mary Jo doesn’t have any. The only time we hear her speak is when she’s saying Haley’s lines, the rest is barely intelligible begging as she’s brutalised. Adult Mary Jo never says a word, and then she also dies horribly. She never gets to speak for herself, Jupe takes all the attention, and she is consumed. This obviously fits into the whole thing, and I feel like you could write a tonne about Mary Jo alone, but this isn’t what I came to talk about exactly.

so, if it’s so male-heavy, why does it almost not feel that way? I think one of the most interesting things about this film, and something I love about it, is that it has such varied, interesting portrayals  of masculinity. Even in their mildly problematic to incredibly reprehensible moments, the men in this movie do not feel like cookie cutter sticks of bravado. The same ones we have been exposed to decade after decade, especially in Westerns.

firstly, you have OJ. I’m not saying anything new in talking about the fact that he is very spectrum-coded. He dislikes eye contact, finds it hard to pick up on social cues, he comes across as awkward or blunt to those who don’t know him well, likes his routine, and prefers to spend his time alone, working with the horses. He’s also speaks very little, in fact as a side bar, I would say Daniel Kaluuya has made quiet characters into an art form. He has played many roles that are not loud, or overly talkative, and yet they all feel incredibly distinct from one another.

I also find it important to note that another very good post by tumblr user @soupbi​ pointed out that, while I consider the autistic tones to OJ’s personality to be undeniable, there is a history of Black men having to avoid eye contact with white people in order to protect themselves from racist abuse/murder. I’d say this definitely factors in during the commercial shoot, particularly given Bonnie’s reaction to his name and everyone’s general rudeness to him that can’t be handwaved as general “well everyone in LA is rude af”. OJ’s Blackness is also relevant because his presence is not just another example of white masculinity and heroism. OJ is a hero, but he is allowed to be one not in spite of his lack of - for a better term - conformity, but because of it. His family’s place in film history is intertwined with Black history. His knowledge, his care, his skill, his love, his reluctance to Look, are all things that help to figure out how to deal with Jean Jacket, and keep his sister safe. And despite his difficulty relating to others, he accepts Angel pretty easily despite the fact that Angel has incredibly contrasting traits.

So then you have Angel. Again, not another white dude. I think if he had been played by one, he would’ve been danger of coming off a bit creepy/incel. Angel does have some tendencies that are more in line with what you might expect from a typical tech/conspiracy guy in these movies - griping about his ex-girlfriend in the beginning, referencing the whole “probes up our asses” obsession that so many people seem to have with UFOs (that I have always felt comes from a similar place of fear to prison rape jokes because... why is that such a common thread in invasion stories/theories?), and apparently he mines cryptocurrency based on something he has in his apartment?? I don’t know shit about mining crypto and I don’t want to, but anyway.

All this to say, when you get down to it Angel is a socially awkward guy with a lot of fear played with incredible depth by Brandon Perea (we all know how much the movie got edited to accommodate his revamped character). A lot of scenes in the movie involve him being visibly and verbally scared. Incidentally, maybe the line of his I find most charming is when he goes off about forgetting to do the feed for Antlers’ camera because he was busy rigging the sky dancers and then says “Sorry. I’m scared.” Taking responsibility for his outburst, admitting his fear. And while he isn’t exactly avoiding attention, he is one of the characters that seems most disparaging of fame. Most explicitly in the dinner scene near the end where he essentially says, “we’re doing this for more than just fame, right? We’re doing it to help people?” He is also visibly more disturbed by Antlers death than him potentially sabotaging their efforts to film. He takes OJ and Em in very easily despite his tinyass apartment. He’s an emotional, fearful guy. But he’s also allowed to be smart, loyal, and ultimately indispensable.

So then you have Jupe. I’ve seen it stated that Jesse Plemons was actually Jordan’s first choice for this role, but had scheduling conflicts. I don’t know at what point in the negotiations it was established he couldn’t participate, but I feel as though this makes a lot of sense when you look at the way Jupe is written and his background. If only because Jordan addresses the role that race plays in all his movies, and yet I feel as though Jupe’s identity as a Korean-American is not addressed as heavily as you’d expect - especially in a story that’s about fame, conformity, fetishisation and the consumption of other people’s trauma and personal lives. There are references, obviously, but it makes a lot of sense if you imagine it was written for a white man.

That being said, I think this works very well in a way that may not have been 100% intentional. For starters, Ricky isn’t even known by his name, he’s goes by the name of his most famous character in an attempt to hold onto the fame he achieved through Kid Sheriff. We know very little about Ricky Park as a person, and it seems as though there is a black hole between Gordy’s Home and Jupiter’s Claim. I’m kind of reminded of Ke Huy Quan and how after Indiana Jones and The Goonies he spent decades largely off-camera (and at one time used a different name because of racism) until Crazy Rich Asians inspired him to return to acting, as he didn’t think there was place for him (I recommend listening to his episode on the podcast Feeling Seen).

When you take into account Jupe’s presence on the sitcom, I know there are American shows like Diff’rent Strokes and Webster which involved white families adopting Black children and that was a key element of the show (I’m English and I’ve never seen those shows come up on British channels let alone watched them, but I looked them both up on Youtube and I noticed the living room in Webster looks very similar to the one in Gordy’s Home). So you have the complexities of that at play. I don’t know enough about this and I don’t think it’s my place to really go into it, but suffice to say you have that as a complex element in Ricky’s background. He’s mostly known for token roles and he’s had to play up to them to stay relevant. A once famous dude having unresolved trauma and a desire for  - or need for recognition through - the spotlight which eventually costs him and/or others is not new.

But I think there’s something very different about the way Steven Yeun manifests that, and manages to keep it grounded and even charming. In at least fan reaction to Ricky, it’s a pretty consistent response that we are disgusted by the way he treats the Haywoods and gets everyone at the Star Lasso Experience (including his wife and children) killed and yet we are also fascinated and even endeared to him. He’s not the guy punching holes in the wall, or refusing to open up to his wife, or going around stabbing people to death. He’s an Icarus, and we see his vulnerability. We were under the dinner table with him, we were there when he was alone with his wife, and we were with him as he stared into Jean Jacket and knew he was about to die. This isn’t meant to be a defense of his actions, obviously, just an observation about how he is presented as a man, especially one who literally cosplays as a cowboy (while he feeds the horses of the real cowboys to a flying saucer).

And then finally, you have Antlers. Antlers is the character I feel I least sympathise with and least understand, which is a personal thing (I’ll be interested to see what the Bluray special features affect this actually), but I think is also tied to the fact that he is what you would expect the most, historically, from a film like this. He is an old white guy. He’s sort of the old guard of cinema, and he’s very stoic, selfish, and keeps his cards close to his chest. Not to mention he has such a typically “Western” accent it took all 5 of my watches at the cinema to parse all of his lines. On paper he is the picture of traditional masculinity… except he’s actually not the picture of traditional masculinity. In every scene, he’s either wearing a dress or a skirt of some kind, and the bracelet on his wrist even goes against what you would consider traditional masculine jewellery. If he was a young man, the dress code might almost be read as a piss-take of “quirky” young filmmakers and thereby making a derogatory statement re: AMAB people who wear gender non confirming clothes. But this is a much older man who is clearly making a choice of expression and comfort. It’s not extravagant – in fact on my first watch I didn’t even realise Antlers was wearing a skirt.

All this to say, it’s incredibly interesting to have such diversity in storytelling and representation of gender through it, and that it doesn’t always come down to “there should be more women in this.”

Anyway guys did you notice there’s a big cloud mural on the wall in the Fry’s store? This movie is batshit

#things I banged on about instead of working on my nano #this ended up longer than I intended oh well #at least if no one else reads it I got it out! #Nope 2022 #Nope movie

[sometipsygnostalgic]

about "her neurotypical friends" part: Adora had ADHD as of word of god and Catra is heavily BPD-coded

I agree on both fronts. Adora having ADHD is not something they wrote in deliberately, however it's basically canon, and it makes sense since ND has ADHD.

i dont want to say "yeah this person who is possessive and abusive to their friends has BPD". Someone used BPD as an excuse to treat me like worthless garbage in the past, so it rubs me wrong seeing the condition being thrown around. I don't want to "diagnose" a character like Catra when I don't struggle with BPD.

But I see a lot of people with BPD do see that in her, so I think, that's a perfectly valid interpretation of her too.

With Entrapta though, who was always written to be autistic, her struggle seems to specifically be that of an autistic person in an allistic world. And the world of She-Ra is so small, and to be frank anti-scientific, that I doubt neurodivergence is even recognised in-universe. Not that it would be brought up if it was (that would've been patronising), but it's clear that, maybe because she had minimal contact with the outside world, Entrapta's not met someone like herself before and she's not had any support from her nonexistent family. So from HER point of view, it's a very lonely world where she uncontrollably messes up, and people think that she's doing it on purpose when she's really not, or her friends think she doesn't care about other people when she's actually trying to help them with her science that they don't understand because everyone in this show is a luddite.

That is a very autism-specific experience. Especially if your symptoms are stronger. This character specifically finds it impossible to mask her autistic traits and vulnerabilities, her only defense is putting a mask on her face when she's overstimulated or upset, which makes her look like a spooky scientist and gives people the wrong idea when they would've understood better if she was open and kept the mask off.

What I find really sweet about season 5 is that, yeah, she does continue to mess up, specifically she can't help making loud noises when infiltrating Prime's ship, or being morbidly excited about being in space, but the characters no longer hold it against her. They don't blame her for alerting the enemies, they eventually let her do her thing with the space ship, and they are happy to see her happy, even if shes happy while Bow crashes a space ship into an asteroid. Which I guess is character development on their part - because previously they might have snapped. I could also mention how she has the most responsible set of jobs in the entire show - keeping everyone alive in space as they go on rescue missions, surgically removing the chips from people Prime infected (a heavy responsibility for someone who had to be explained to that humans can't be taken apart like robots), and infiltrating Prime's ship basically by herself to hack into his signal and remove everybody else's chips. And she half failed that last task for reasons outside her control, but Bow had been working with her on tech development, and he was able to finish it off.

#shera #spop #she ra

[maybeacrowdedmind]

My Headcanoned Autistic Characters Part 1:

After seeing that people enjoyed my post on autistic characters both canon and headcaoned by yours truly, I decided to go into a little more detail about the characters I see as being autistic and why. So let part 1 commence!

Parker - Leverage:

I first started watching Leverage when I was about 11 or 12 years old. Prior to seeing Parker, I had never seen a book or tv show/movie character who was like me and not being made the butt of every joke. Parker is an extremely literal character in both her speech and her mannerisms. She is also very blunt and doesn't speak in metaphors; she simply says what she means. She also gets very excited over things that the other characters don't seem to get (like her love of Christmas and Santa Claus) and she is frustrated when things don't go how they are supposed too. Furthermore, Parker is shown to freak out when the plan goes wrong, and she is also often shown to say something socially "off" and have the other characters explain to her that just because it's true, doesn't always mean you should say it. However, despite having so many autistic traits that autistic people and characters are often shamed for, the rest of the team is accepting of her, and while they tease her, they do it in the same way with everyone. I still remember how happy I felt to finally see a character onscreen who was so similar to me, who was allowed to have agency and wasn't there to be the laughingstock of the Leverage team. Now, I can't remember which episode it was season and episode wise, but one of my favorites was the one where Parker has to wear the heavy shoes to match the mark's gait so she doesn't trip off the sensors, and when practicing, she starts freaking out because it doesn't feel right. As a person with extreme sensory issues, scenes like that mean a lot to me, because rather than have Hardison get upset with her or tell her to suck it up, he helps keep her calm and helps her to manage it comfortably.

Anya Jenkins - Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Anya is another character whose way of speaking is very similar to mine. She is also very blunt, and speaks unabashedly and in a brutally honest manner. Anya also doesn't understand how the human world works because she is/was a vengeance demon. Now, I'm not a vengeance demon turned human (or am I?), but I am an autistic person living in a neurotypical world that I don't really get. Anya also does not understand social cues or what having a filter means as evidenced by the fact that she often talks about stuff that is not "socially acceptable" to talk about, which I can definitely relate to (throwback to when I brought up that being a Communist would be way better than being a N**i at prom, effectively bringing the conversation to a screeching halt. It's a long story). As such, I see her as autistic, because again, I see myself in several of her mannerisms.

Mabel Pines - Gravity Falls:

I know for a fact that I'm not the only person who sees the mystery twins as autistic. I mean, to me, it's obvious, especially with Mabel. Mabel is an enthusiastic girl, whose special interests range from Sev'ral Timez to golf to arts and crafts. When she goes after something, she does so wholeheartedly and doesn't care if other people try to dissuade her. Mabel is also shown to have a great love for things staying the same, like her and Dipper going trick or treating and both of them staying together after the summer, and she gets both upset and sad when things change. Mabel is unafraid to be herself, but still takes hurtful comments to heart. A good example of this is when Pacifica tells Mabel that she is too silly and will never be taken seriously, leading Mabel to try to act different than her natural self for the remainder of the episode until the end. This is very similar to autistic people being told that the way they exist is incorrect due to not being NT and leading them to mask when around other people. Lastly, Mabel shows self-stimulatory behavior and comfort stims by going to sweater town.

Dipper Pines - Gravity Falls:

Like his twin, Dipper has a special interests, primarily mysteries and conspiracy theories. He spends a lot of time compiling information on these topics and is extremely knowledgeable of them. Dipper doesn't want to be seen as different from others, like Wendy and her friends, and tries to hide things like trick or treating from them. This is relatable to me because it is very similar to masking. Dipper tries to seem mature and cool to fit in with his friends, which reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger and would mask in order to be accepted by my friends (I'm currently trying to unlearn masking tendencies because my way of naturally existing is not an inconvenience and neither is the natural existence of anybody reading this). Dipper also stims, by chewing on his pens and shirt, and when something is important to him (like hacking the code on the computer) he very quickly becomes fixated on it, which is another thing I do all the time.

That's all for now; I'll post part 2 soon, either later today or tomorrow so keep an eye out. If you have any characters you've headcanoned as autistic, let me know in the replies. I'd love to see other characters people relate to. Also, if you could please check out the post I made in regards to my sister and the fundraising she's doing for a service dog and reblog it, that would be greatly appreciated.

#actually autistic #autistic character headcanon #autistic headcanon #autistic rep is important #leverage #parker #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #anya jenkins #gravity falls #mabel pines #dipper pines #mystery twins #part one of two

[deadletterpoets]

What do you think of the decision to make Cass not mute anymore? I kind of liked it because it was unique and I think added a lot of cool narrative possibilities, and I kind of want her to be mute again the same way I want Barbara to be Oracle in a wheelchair again

Alright, honestly I've always been in the camp that Cass was never mute to begin with. I think people see Cass not having a lot of experiences using spoken languages as being mute and I don't see it that way at all. She speaks in her first appearance (both her original and New52 versions). The only version of Cass I believe is truly mute is the Young Justice version of Cass and even then they made it due to Shiva cutting out her vocal cords, which is fucked up btw cause they made Shiva be a one note Asian dragon lady type villain and Cass become the "silent Asian trope* that both characters don't deserve (not to mention the white girl is the one that saves Cass and teaches her the meaning of life... she's not allowed to do anything for herself huh?) but whatever.

Now Cass did have major communication and social disabilities due to how she was raised and I do think it provided unique narrative opportunities, but a big reason her original run especially changed that pretty early was because (as the editor Joseph Illidge explained on twitter on her birthday a couple months ago) a couple Asian writers got together with him for lunch to express their worry about Cass being too much of a trope type character due to her silence and language problems. That's why in the OG Batgirl run uses a psychic to give her the ability to speak using her words while taking away her ability to understand body language. It isn't a perfect story, but knowing the reason behind it and frankly allowing it to introduce Shiva which leads to the long game of Batgirl #25 I think it was worth it. Especially since she still had other developmental disabilities such as dyslexia and being heavy neuroatypical/autistic coded (i think only the dyslexia was confirmed on panel, I could be forgetting though)

Now with the current run, yeah Tynion bringing her back he said straight up he didn't want to go the "psychic teaches her to speak route" and was just gonna have her talk from the beginning which imo was fine. I actually think at first he was doing a decent job still showcasing that while she was able to speak her communication and developmental disabilities were still present though maybe not as heavily noticeable as OGCass. Though at the end of his run he presents Babs as teaching her to read and communicate and every writer after has basically stopped showcasing Cass having any real issues communicating, with speaking, and socially which I do think is a real shame. A lot of what makes her unique is gone when you ignore that.

So while I don't think she needs to be *mute* to be interesting, and by the end of her in the Pre52 canon she was experienced enough that her communication skills were fine as she lived in Hong Kong by herself, I do wish writers were more interested in making her unique way of speaking more relevant again. Another reason it's hard for me to think current Cass in Batgirls has the same history as her past self (but that's a different conversation). Though admittedly Cass in Batgirls while the art and coloring for her is terrible, the dialogue writing for her is about as best as we'll probably get unfortunately it's extraordinarily childish.

Hope I answered the question, HA!

[autistic-caleb-widogast]

hi!! 🔥🌸? if you'd like to

Oh dear, would I ever! Favourite Caleb Moment. You want me, tumblr user autistic-caleb-widogast, to choose my favorite moment of my favorite character out of truly more than 500 hours? You get how this is an impossible task? Lol I will try though!

From the top of my head, there are the accent bits. Eldritsch Bläääst. Of course. But now for (probably wayyy too many) top hits in roughly chronological order:

I truly love the hand flapping and happy excitement at Notts first message! Iconic!

His absolutely flat monotone delivery of "I'm gonna tell you the story of how I murdered my mother and father", and Notts little "oh" ... OUCH!

The "We all have extreme syphilis"... Iconic.

Winning the drinking contest and being a silly drunk!

The HDYWDT against their first big bad, Lorenzo! At a live show! With a cantrip!!!! I-con-ic!...

"I'm tired. We're all tired. Buuuuuut... I'll get to work if I have to" Iconic.

The nat 20 for deciphering Avantikas coded book! Iconic!

WALL OF FIREEEEE!!!!!! COUNTERSPELL!!! need I say more! What's sexier than wizards! Nothing!

Getting shaved by Yasha with her anti-magic-user sword!

"Light them up, pretty"... Setting his party on blast while mind controlled and almost dying during the fight... Blood effects on max... (I actually tracked his health during that fight and wowie I almost passed out right along with him it was so stressful. Definitely my favorite fight of the m9.)...

HANDING OVER THE BEACON!!!! CLUTCH!!! WHAT A MOVE OH MY GOD!!!

"making vulnerability look easy" when Beau needs to rest but does not want to say so and he pretends he needs to...

The scourger interrogation "Some of us get tired of macabre fairy tales. So enjoy your mouthful of lies before they choke it out of you"... Getting slashed and allowing Essek to crush the scourger...

Initiating the entire party piling all their magical objects on depowered Fjord...

"I wanna roleplay Fish and chips!"

Getting 3 spells from essek on a 13 persuasion... Sexy.

HDYWDT on the laughing hand by Widogasts Web of Fire!!

Seeming shenanigans with Fjord and a robe.

"I'm the transmutation wizard, but you're the one who changes people"!

Making the spell for the ReVethification with Essek and Nott!

The Essek confrontation... "You were not born with venom in your veins" "Maybe you and I are both damned, but we can choose to do something and leave it better than it was before" STANDING OVATION! (I watched that one live and it was extremely good. 97 is probably my favorite C2 episode.)

Putting on a show for Traveler Con!

Blasting his friends into snow drifts!

This nine sided Tower can fit so much love for Caleb's friends in it!

Der Katzenprinz!

Gravity Sinkhole! At the Sanatory. Such a nice quiet inconspicuous spell.

Generally, Caleb going feral during that fight lol. (loved that ep.) Nat 20 counterspell against Trent!!!

The fact that he didn't die until the final fight! Like... Try keeping a wizard alive that long lol, it's hard!

Overall I love his growth! In his relationships with the m9, especially Beau! Being practically unable to talk a few words with her without a heavy misunderstanding, sharing awkward apology hugs, to sharing whole conversations and building each other up... being the empire siblings... Going from being alone and unattached and privately afraid and hiding from Ikithon, to begrudgingly accepting he has real friends now, who he can't save from his backstory, and who are ready to fight for and with him... And saying he is back on his feet... Dare I say poetic cinema.

As for Caduceus,

his divine interventions PLURAL,

him dropping absolutely raw lines on Trent Ikithon,

him being cute with Luc,

and his journey with Fjord, mentoring him and converting him to becoming a Paladin of Melora.

Sorry there's not a thousand moments like I did for Caleb, I love Cad too, but I'm a Caleb Stan first and foremost.

If you don't wanna read all this I understand lol, but hey. You ask a Caleb Stan account about their favorite moments, this is what you get lol

#cr spoilers #alex watches critical role #critical role #asked and answered #Caleb widogast

[seethingballofhatred]

Alador Blight and why I think he could be redeemed

copy/pasting a rant I just did in Discord at 3am so its not worded well

THIS IS NOT MENT TO START DEBATES, AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE WITH THOSE WHO DISAGREE, I AM MERELY SHARING MY VIEW OF THIS CHARACTER. IGNORE IF YOU THINK IM WRONG.

Tw’s for discussions of my own abuse experiences

Alador is not irredeemable Hes not a good parent at current, but hes very obviously gripped under Odalia's abuse along side his kids, hella neurodivergent, and likely hasnt fully realized how much damage Odalia has done due to his heavy work load. Hes very clearly more of an absent parent than an abusive one, again not great but not irredeemable

GENUINELY I SEE ALOT OF MY OWN PARENTAL SITUATION IN THESE TWO!! My dad was and is hella emotionally abusive, and very much so was to my mother, who when we were kids was extremely busy with college and work to support a 5 person household She couldnt always protect us!! She tried her best, especially with our older brother, who nearly got physical abuse several times!! but she was an extremely busy woman at the time. Me and my siblings dont blame her for that! Infact after she got away from dad we all grew alot closer because shes a good ass mother. Obviously not perfect, no parent is, but shes one of my most trusted people and Im so glad I didnt lose her.

I see Alador as very similar!! He stops Odalia when he can, does his best to stay on her good side while doing so. And is incredibly busy making abominations so the family can keep up their lifestyle. Hes not a good parent by any means, but he isnt actively harming his kids, and isnt just "quietly using them for power"!! He's just so caught up in his work that he cant always help his kids. And I genuinely think that Amity's rebellion in their episode will spur Alador into some form of redemption, and we'll at least see the start of him rebuilding his relations with his kids. Fuck Amity is around the same age my brother and I were when my mom left my dad, which is just another parallel. Its also worth noting w/ the blight kids its always "dont tell mom", none of them worry about what Alador will think, which is very similar to my own childhood Alador has so much potential to be an amazing father, and getting out from under Odalias thumb is just the begining of that reformation.

People keep acting like Alador is just "Odalia but quiet", when Odalia is the prominent one through the whole episode, Alador barely speaks and half the time he does he's fucking half asleep. (I get this can tear apart my argument to, but Im reiterating that I saw this exact behavior in my mom when I was young) We mostly get facial expressions from him, which show that he's noticing Amity's ability and growth, pointing it out to Odalia to make her take it a bit easier on Amity

They also mention his smirks, or smiles to Odalia during scenes and it is again worth pointing out that he is extremely adhd/autistic coded and could VERY WELL BE MASKING TO NOT ANGER ODALIA. People would think that would involve a bit of noticeable fear but you'd be surprised how well nd's can fake emotions!!

I know most of the fandom disagrees with me here, but thats exactly why I needed to share this, as someone who relates alot to Amity and how her mother treats her. Escaping Expulsion just made me relate to her even more, and sympathize with Alador all because I’ve seen this all before in my own life.

You do not have to agree with me, I will not force anyone to, and again this post isnt made for debate, but I don’t want to start seeing people attack Dana if Alador ends up getting away from Odalia in some way and being a better father.

By all means, see him as irredeemable if you want to, just know that at least one person has lived a very similar toxic family structure, and sees his potential to grow.

#The Owl House #TOH #Alador Blight #Odalia Blight #Amity Blight #Edric and Emira Blight #TOH: Escaping Expulsion

[foxanddragonbooks]

Book Recommendations by Asian Authors

I wanted to rec some great books by Asian authors that I`ve read.

The Gilded Wolves and The Silvered Serpents by Roshani Chokshi

The 3rd and final book comes out in September so you won´t have to wait that long for the conclusion

It´s a great YA fantasy series set in 1889 Paris with a loveable, diverse set of characters, found family, and heist plot.

It deals with identity and characters struggling to find their place in the world while dealing with prejudices against them. Especially the biracial characters dealt with that the most. The author herself is also biracial so it´s own voices in that aspect as well. There is also an autistic coded character in the books. I am not autistic so it´s not my place to say whether or not the representation is done well or not, but I can say that that particular character is one of my favorites.

Miracle Creek by Angie Kim

Boy, I don´t even know where to start with this book.

It´s ultimately a mystery novel that follows the events of an explosion that kills one woman and one boy. Time forward to one year after the explosion, we meet a set of characters at a courtroom. A woman has been accused of orchestrating the fatal explosion that killed two people and throughout the book, you try to figure out if it was really her, or someone else. There is so much going on. The book thematizes topics like mother- and parenthood, immigration, autism and so much more. I had so many mixed feelings about all of the characters and the things they tried to keep secret. Because you follow different characters' perspectives you are going to read about their different opinions and the way they approach things. The author leaves it quite open how she feels about any of the topics discussed and leaves therefore room for the reader to make up their own mind. Which character is ´bad´ which is ´good´ or are they all just morally grey?

The Last Story of Mina Lee by Nancy Jooyoun Kim

This mystery novel follows the complicated relationship between a mother and a daughter, and immigration. When Margot returns to visit her mother in Koreatown of LA, she finds her mother dead. Margot, who never fully understood her mother, wants to what happened. Was it an accident? Or murder? On her way to answers, Margot not only figures out more about her mother but about herself as well. The author painted a beautiful picture of what it means to be an immigrant and how it affects different generations.

The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi

Damn this book really came for my heart.

It´s ultimately a slice of life book set in 1950´s India. It was a very educational book for me and you really get to see traditional Indian culture mixed with western influences. There were many feminist topics in there and what it meant to be a woman during this time. It´s a beautifully atmospheric book about womanhood, sisterhood, and self-worth. I don´t want to give too much away because I thought not knowing too much about this book had me surprised on several occasions. Trigger Warning for abortion.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

I know that everyone and their mom have heard of this book but I wanted to add it nonetheless. If you haven´t watched the TV show yet I recommend reading the book first because there are quite a few differences. It´s a very character-driven, slice-of-life type of story that focuses on 2 families. But! We also get to see a few minor characters that influence the characters and the story A LOT. A major conflict revolves around one of these minor characters. The book literally starts with a house burning down and then we go back in time to events leading up to this tragedy. The book deals with quite a few heavy topics like trauma, microaggressions, immigration, privilege, complicated mother-daughter relationships, and so much more!

Flame in the Mist by Renée Ahdieh

This YA story is being advertised as a Mulan-inspired fantasy, and I can definitely see why. Mariko is the daughter of an important family and on her way to visit her betrothed, the prince, her caravan is attacked, killing everyone but her. Mariko managed to escape and disguises herself as a boy because it´s her who was the main target of the coup. As she is trying to figure out who wants her dead and why she joins the same group that ultimately tried to kill her.

#book reccs #book recommendations #book recs 2021 #asian literature #books by asian authors

[i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror]

On Rei’s autistic coding

Rei’s character is full of hallmarks of autism. It infuriates me to see allistic people posting hot takes about how headcanoning Rei as autistic is ableist and erases her trauma. 

Newsflash, autistic people can be traumatized, and going “blank” and “numb” is an incredibly common trauma response for autistic people -- to the point that autism diagnostic criteria is based on it, and autistic kids raised by loving autistic parents often fail to meet diagnostic criteria because they’re not traumatized enough. Rei's trauma response is very relatable to not only me, but many other autistic people. 

Did you also know that autistic kids, especially autistic girls, are incredibly vulnerable to csa? We’re three times more likely to be sexually abused, and nine times more likely to commit suicide. The heavy, harrowing implications of csa are undeniable, and throughout the anime (not counting eoe), Rei is the only pilot to plainly state that she wants to die, (”I am happy because I want to die”) and also the only one to actually kill herself (episode 23). 

The idea that Rei is fake, that she isn’t fully human, that she isn’t worthy of life (from both Rei herself and others; remember Ritsuko in episode 23) is a hallmark autistic experience. A recent article in PsychologyToday even argued that we are “undomesticated humans.” This idea that we are fake people or inhuman is not fringe; it’s mainstream. Think of how many times you’ve seen people casually advocate for eugenics, especially in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. Think back to the myth of Changeling Children. Think about how often violence against autistic people is justified. Of how often murder of autistic kids by their caretakers is framed as a mercy killing or as the caregiver simply being exhausted (if you want a particularly disgusting example, look into the Issy Stapleton case).

How often are autistic kids blamed for relationship failures? In the 100-days packet that parents are supposed to reference for help in the first 100 days following their child’s autism diagnosis, Autism Speaks urges the parents to remember that any and all stress they are experiencing is due to their autistic child. Naoko and Ritsuko’s relationships with Gendo mirror this perfectly. Rei reveals that Gendo thinks Naoko is annoying and Naoko lashes out on Rei, and blames her, not Gendo. Similarly, Ritsuko destroys the Rei clones, stating that they are soulless objects that merely resemble humans, meanwhile they turn their heads to face Shinji and Misato when the lights turn on and groan in agony as they fall apart. Once again, someone, in this case Ritsuko, takes out their anger and enacts violence on Rei instead of who is really at fault: Gendo. Who is the most powerless character in eva? All signs point to Rei.

How often do you see people say that Rei is their favorite character, or that they relate to her? People, both in eva and in the fandom refuse to relate to and understand Rei. Think back to Shinji’s assumption that Gendo abandoned him because he already had Rei, the braindead fanon idea that Rei was supposed to be creepy as a middle finger to fanboys, and how this mirrors asinine assumptions about autistic people irl.

So, next time you watch eva I beg you to pay close attention to Rei. Give her the same time and thought you do to Shinji, Asuka, and Kaworu. Because it’s what Rei fucking deserves.

#originals #rei ayanami #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion

[clonecest-bin-account]

Spill the tea on the Bad Batch my dude!

Oof, I feel like I'm hitting a wasp nest with a bat, but let’s go.

First of all bear in mind that I don't hate the Bad Batch, but I do have some problems with them, which revolve more about the implication of these characters than the characters per se, so @ Bad Batch lovers please don't hate me too much...

The short versione of this answer, is that I find that they have a kind of "I'm not like the other girls" vibe than I'm not a fan of, but there's more than that.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: they're all painfully whitewashed. Like holy shit. Tech looks like Griffin Mcelroy and that’s not someone that a maori man should look like. Even though all the clones are already whitewashed as hell, they even went a step further and whitewash the Bad Batch even more, and I don't need to tell you that the implications of them being not only whiter, but also The Special Ones, are bad.

And since we're talking about design, I've gotta say that I’m a bit disappointed with theirs, because again, they look like white men even more than regular clones do already, but also mostly because I didn't see these "favorable mutations" at all, except maybe in Wrecker since he's bigger than the others. Want I meant to say is that they look more like the sterotypes they're supposed to represent: Crosshair looks like an asshole, Hunter looks like a pseudo Rambo/Solid Snake and Tech looks like a nerd. 

And like, the only actual mutations are Wrecker's strenght, Tech's bad eyesight and Hunter's heightened senses. The rest, like how good Tech is with technology or the fact that Crosshair is an excellent sniper, aren't really mutations, but talents. Idk I wish they would've been a bit bolder when deciding what mutations they could've given them. One could argue that Tech is there because he's autistic coded, and ok, fine, but then why is Hardcase, who is neurodivergent coded as well, in the normal army then? Why wasn't he with the Bad Batch? What exactly gets you in there and what gets you to be listed as a reg then? It’s confusing.

Also, to go back to the "I'm not like the other girls" shit, I kinda feel like they go against everything they've been trying to do with the clones in the series? Let me explain: they spend so much time showing us that each clone is different from the other, both is a physical way and in a mental way, but now you’re telling me that’s not really the case, because they're regs, and the only ones who are actually different are the Bad Batch.

They also feel a bit one-note when you think about it, which isn't their fault since they didn't have much time to shine, being in just for episodes, but even then they showed us more how much of a badasses they are, and not who they actually are. I feel like they could've done more with them, especially considering that Echo barely interacts with them but he still decides to go with them instead of staying with Rex with which he has a bigger bond, but I guess since he's different too now he's got to stay in his lane? Frankly at this point I would've rather see more different troopers into different batallions, instead of having just one group of them. And like, good for Echo I guess since he’ll probably/possibily escape Order 66 like this, but his choice feels more driven by the fact that the plot says so, rather than he feeling a genuine connections to these characters.

At least for the fact of them being one-note there's hope, since now they have their own show, so there's the chance that they'll get to fluorish as characters, at least I hope, because as amusing as I find them the way they are, I'd still love for them to be a little deeper than “oh look, Wrecker is Heavy from TF2, Tech is Engineer and Crosshair is Sniper” (in this comparison Hunter would be Miss Pauling you can’t change my mind).

Also idk, I feel like there are already the commandos that do the same exact thing they do, and Delta Squad had made a cameo in the series, so they should exist in canon too, so it would’ve been cool to see them, especially since the only time we see a commando in action is with Gregor which, I mean, he’s good and all, but the arc in which he appears isn’t that great imo (and let’s not talk about what they do to him in Rebels cause that’s a beast on its own). Also given how shitty Karen Traviss is, and the fact that, from what I’ve gathered, there’s some bad blood between her and Filoni, I would've loved if they put the commandos in the series and actually done them well and without all the mysoginistic bullshit she's written in her books. That would've been mad funny and I would've loved it so much.

And like sure, the Commandos feel separated from the rest of the troopers too, but I feel like it's been done a little less than how they did with the Bad Batch, but I'm not sure about that still is still haven finished the Repcom books, so I might be wrong about that, but at least in the videogame they don’t seem to consider the “regs” something separated from them.

And this is what I think about the Bad Batch. Moral of the story: I think they had the potential to be something really cool, but it wasn't executed well.

#reply #rants #bad batch #Anonymous

[smokeybrand]

Venomous Visibility

As a creator, I always find the subject of representation kind of dubious. With the f*cked up Last of Us II leaks, the continuous misandrist poison leaking into the Star Wars canon from that Kennedy-led Lucasfilm, and the incredibly amazing portrayal of Jill Valentine in the Remake, this sh*t has been on my mind lately. Like, how do you write strong, female, protagonist without falling into that Mary Sue trap? How do you code black without being offensive? How do you write gay without resorting to stereotypes? I don't know how to distinguish a trans or deaf or autistic or native person through text without outright stating these things. Where's the nuance in portraying someone queer without it coming across as pandering? I don’t know if it’s because of my limited experience as a straight black dude who kind of thinks the current trend of eighty-eight genders and personal identifications is kind of ridiculous but i find the attempts studios make to cater to these groups to be adequate as f*ck. Like, Sarah Connor and Ellen Ripley kind of defined feminine bad-ass and they both did it way back in the 80s. Why is there this irreverent need to portray this misandrist energy in modern cinema? Birds of Prey was a fun time but it was way heavy-handed on that “Girl boss” energy and it didn’t have to e. Harley Quinn is already a boss and the Birds kick ass in their own right. Why does that have to be the focus of your narrative instead of actual character development and plot? Especially when you have that Ellen Ripley template? It’s weird to say but it feels like certain groups want those aspects to define the entirety of a character instead of it just being a part of them. I think that mindset is both toxic and does a disservice to the given narrative, unless the narrative, itself, is defined by those aspects.

I'm of the mind that, if you wrote dope characters, that should he enough. Take, for examples, Disney’s newest attempt to represent a queer character in Onward. I’ve never seen the movie, i have severe daddy issues so this hilariously outside of my wheelhouse, but i hear that one of the characters makes a passing reference to their same sex spouse. How is that not good enough? Isn’t that how it is in real life? I don’t see gays running around, shouting about their homo love from the balconies and rooftops. Unless it’s Pride. To add that little tidbit in the middle of a Pixar film, aimed at the notoriously conservative middle America, and not have them trying to burn down city hall is kind of amazing and, in my opinion, very tastefully done. At least it’s better executed than the way Beauty and the Beast did with the LeFou reveal. Like, holy sh*t. Talk about blue-balls. This fervent obsession with representation for representation sake or to push an agenda is absolutely repugnant. You think the character of Rey Skywalker would be enough of a lesson on that poisonous nonsense for everyone, not just Disney. Be it female lead, bisexual heroine, gay protagonist, whatever; If you're character is strong enough to be more than whatever social label cats want to code them with, then the representation is inconsequential. Don’t force something that doesn’t need to be forced.

I’ve seen representation executed beautifully. Euphoria is one of the best shows i’ve seen on television and it deals with a ton of sh*t that most SJWs want to fight about. Zendaya is excellent in this show and so is her trans partner, Hunter Schafer. The way that show is written, you can tell that there is an understanding about that culture, a personal connection to their world. That level of representation is outstanding and i commend the creators for giving us such a rich vision for those characters. That said, the strength of Euphoria is in the characters. Rue makes that show. It’s about her journey and everything after that, is a part of who she is as a character, not the defining aspect of it. That subtlety is how you represent an uniquely ignored demographic. That’s how you handle representation in media for adults. For kids, i think this is a little much. Not many nine-year-olds out there are recovering drug addicts.

I think the best piece of media i’ve ever seen in terms of representation actually came out of Disney years ago and gets criminally slept on to this day. Atlantis: The Lost Empire i easily the most diverse, accessible, and palatable piece of “woke” media, Disney has ever made, and it was never created to be so. Atlantis is a story with a female co-lead of color, who has her own agency, doesn’t really fall into the trap of being “damseled” and ends up being a Queen by the rend of this story. The male co-lead is an anxious, neurotic, nerd with a distinct lack of brawn, who beguiles the antagonists with his intellect. The supporting cast is a mixture of people of color, both of which are dope as sh*t, and various nationalities. I’ve spoken at length about my love for Kidagakash Nedakh, she’d be my favorite Disney Princess if she wasn’t a motherf*cking Queen, but i’d be lying if i didn’t admit Audrey had a near equal place in my heart for her sheer dopenesss. Doc is cool, too. Seriously, how is there no Atlantis world in Kingdom Hearts yet? F*cking Disney, man... For the record, my actual favorite Princess is Rapunzel with Jasmine coming in a close second.

Personally, when I create a character, I describe the way I imagine how they physically appear and let the reader assign whatever else afterwords. If I say a character is female with caramel color skin and lavender hair, it's up to the reader to define the minute details in their mind's eye. Is the Lavender a natural hair color? Is she black? Maybe Hispanic? Could she be native or Indian or something completely different? A lot of people have caramel color skin. Hell, she might just have a tan, I don't know because the way I see the character, is different than whoever reads it. I think that's one of the joys unique to literature, that ability to essentially "customize" a narrative to taste, which only amplifies my inability to reconcile this trend of "representation." A lot of people in the fandom attribute Ahsoka Tano as an LGBTQ character and i think that’s fine. It’s never implicitly stated but i don’t think it really has to be. Ahsoka is a bad ass and she displays all of that effortlessly. If you ant to ascribe a queer connotation to her, fine, but that’s not the part of the character that matters to the overall narrative. It shouldn’t be the one aspect which is harped upon officially. I actually really, really, love Ahsoka so i have a dog in this fight. Not so much about the gay coding, that’s a thing that doesn’t really matter to me, more the fact that she needs deserves more shine in the franchise. Thank you Mando II. Also, Dr. Aphra. I hope they actually give her a show. She’s f*cking awesome and, i think, a legit LGBTQ character. I could be wrong about that though.

If a character can be whatever you want them to be, why does it have to be implicitly stated? How is all of this forced representation and social agenda pushing not disingenuous at that point? How is it not more a hindrance than a strength? Why is it acceptable to have your token marginalized appearance, if it’s forced and detracts from the overall story trying to be told? Is it really okay to just accept such pedestrian pandering for the sake of pandering? Like, i’m not gay. How am i supposed to write a gay character without being an ass about it? The only way i know how is to be direct with it. Direct but subtle about everything. “Strong Female Character” should not be the one aspect of your character driving their development. You don’t need to create a Mary Sue in order to have a compelling female lead. Tifa Lockhart and Norah Price prove that. Your protagonist doesn’t need to be “the big gay” in order to be a bad ass. Ian Ghallagher and Willow Rosenberg prove that. Also, they’re both gingers so, you know, double the suffrage points i guess? You don’t have to write a potato who can do physics in their head, to represent an autistic person. Sherlock Holmes and  Amelie Poulain prove that. I would definitely do what Disney did with Onward in order to represent a character of that type of minority because, to me, as a minority, i don’t believe any singular aspect determine the whole of a character. Race, gender, orientation, religion, and other social identifiers; All of those are just qualifiers to the core of the character you’re creating. They are parts, never a whole. These things are just additions to embellish and enrich, not the definition of who they are, as much as everyone wants it to be. I mean, at the end of the day, how lame is your character if all they are is gay or stronk female? How much of a boner is our story going to be with a protagonist as deep as a puddle because you feel some kind of way about visibility?

[hannahhostofheaven]

Updated rules

I updated my rules, here’s the link: https://hannahhostofheaven.tumblr.com/rules

They are mostly the same with just a few updates. You need to have read my rules before we RP:

* I will follow you as my MUN blog with is @Hannah-deserved-better

* My OTP is always Hannah/Castiel so keep that in mind. My Hannah will always have a thing for Castiel. I am opened to RPing with other blogs but there probably won’t be any romance.

* I am open to poly pairings so if you want to do something with Castiel, Hannah, and someone else, I’m okay with that as long as it’s not Destiel or Wincest. I don’t ship either of those. I am open to Sastiel plus Hannah, Megstiel plus Hannah, OCs, whatever. But it needs to have chemistry.

* Note that I am a demisexual and bisexual person and as such, so is Hannah. Demisexual means I don’t just jump into sexual relationships without there being an emotional and mental relationship first.

* not interested in RPing with anyone who views angels as brothers and sisters cuz as I said, I ship Castiel/Hannah so our views will not be compatible.

* I play Hannah using Erica Carroll as a face claim.

* Caroline Johnson is available to RP with upon request.

* No god modding or making my character act without me. Don’t anticipate or assume what my character is going to do, I retain complete control of her. Also, no time jumps without discussing it first.

* Don’t nag me for a reply. I am very busy and real life comes first, I will try to reply when I can, and if I need another long break I’ll let you know.

* discuss plot with me. I am a plot driven writer and I like to plan things out. I am open to pretty much everything but I like mulling things over.

* It’s my belief that Hannah would be on the autism spectrum if she were human so any Human Hannah AUs will be like that.

* MUN is autistic.

* female vessel Castiel blogs are welcome.

* I play Hannah in character as I see her in the show. How she reacts to things doesn’t necessarily reflect the MUN’s personal views. Hannah is passionate for an angel but she is very stuck on her idea of angel code, law, and justice. The internal conflict can sometimes make her doubt herself and often makes her a bit of a contradiction. When her angel code says one thing and her feelings say another, she can have conflict. She is also impulsive and quick to anger. I am always trying to better my performance of her, but she certainly has a lot of strengths and a lot of flaws and you can expect me to play her that way. If she gets mad at your character don’t take it to mean it has anything to do with the MUN, I am just channeling Hannah.

* I don’t like just jumping into a relationship. I like to establish things first. It can’t be forced. Sometimes our muses get together very fast, sometimes there is angry hate sex first before there is love, sometimes it’s a slow burn, but we definitely have to go at the same speed. I never want to just start writing a situation where our muses are just automatically in a relationship from the beginning.

** ** I’ve eased up on my stance regarding smut lately, but I still tend to be kind of fickle about it, I have to be in the mood for it, so please check first. I am always okay with mild sex scenes and abstract sex scenes where we keep to metaphors and such, and I am not really into hardcore stuff. I reserve the right to fade to black if I’m not feeling it. Also, I do not write porn. My roleplays are plot centered adventures that can INCLUDE sex but nor REVOLVE AROUND sex.

* Also, on that note, if we are writing and I sense that a sex scene might be coming up, I’ll probably PM you (or you PM me) so we can be sure we are both on the same page.

* no child OCs.

* I like angsty, dark themes, hurt/comfort type plots. I really don’t have any known triggers, but check with me first. I am okay with torture and with plots involving rape, though not with children. Also note on rape: I will not RP graphic scenes of rape, I will always fade to black, no exceptions. Also Hannah will not be in any kind of relationship with your character if they are the ones doing the abuse.

* I don’t do the whole ABO alpha omega thing. I don’t understand how it works at all and it’s really just not my thing.

* My stories tend to be heavy on Supernatural lore so if you aren’t familiar with the show, I suggest checking out the Supernatural Wiki. I utilize it quite a bit myself: http://supernatural.wikia.com/wiki/Supernatural

* I’m not really into working outside the Supernatural verse, though sometimes I might be okay with crossing over with related verses such as Buffy the Vampire slayer, but I won't want to work in a verse that I personally don’t know about (and I don’t watch a lot of TV so I am not part of many fandoms) so when in doubt, stick with Supernatural.

* We need to establish which season we are working with. If we don’t, I will assume that we are working with the most current season, in which case, I will default to the idea that Hannah has been dead since season 11, when she was killed by the angel Efram, when she was in her male vessel, and she died trying to defend Castiel, and was somehow brought back to life.

* Please try to play in character and with canon in mind. We will definitely be breaking with canon, but it needs to always be a guideline.

*  Mun is over 30. Mun is also married and has a job so the demands on my time can be formidable. Mun is in California so we are dealing with Pacific Standard Time.

* Supernatural deals with angels and demons and a lot of religious lore. I tend to stick closely to canon when it comes to lore and things like that, so if you are religious its probably best not to get offended by things like Lucifer and such because it’s just a show. I personally don’t come from a religious background, though my husband, who is very well versed in Judeo-Christian mystics, helps me in those areas of the show. I also happen to hold a degree in history and am pretty knowledgeable in anthropology, mythology, and world religions. That being said, I suggest we keep to the guidelines and criteria dictated by the show, not the bible.

* I am relatively new to Tumblr roleplays so I am not completely fluent in the lingo and such. I don’t know how to do icon threads and I don’t know what discord or anything like that is so we should stick with thread style format. Although I do like to insert pictures and gifs into my posts once in a while.

Headcanons:

* Hannah is an angel’s angel, she lives by her rules, but she finds inner conflict with her feelings. She believes in law, justice, and order.

* She is a unique angel in that she has emotions. This makes her more intuitive than other angels. She is quite passionate and although she doesn’t always understand emotions, she just knows she has them. She has a temper, especially when someone taunts her or Castiel.

* Hannah has a fascination with Humanity, although she holds and maintains a distance with these creatures she doesn’t quite understand. She tends to find ‘human things’ like eating unsettling and disgusting, at first, but she is open-minded and when given enough encouragement, she will try new things.

* Hannah likes plants and plant life. She has an aversion to things like fences, borders, and barriers. Some things she retained from Caroline was being a bit of a daydreamer, animal lover, and an adventurous world traveler. In RPGs were Caroline was able to have a career, she always pursued something in travel and tourism, or in anthropology.

* In this headcanon, Hannah has given up her vessel’s soul who has gone to heaven, leaving Hannah her body. But she still recalls certain events from Caroline’s life, like living in Montana. Her favorite animals are horses, dogs, and tigers.

* In this headcanon, Caroline and her husband were not on the best of terms. Depending on RPG, Joe can be seen as neglectful at best, abusive at worst, and there was a reason why Caroline said Yes to Hannah in the first place. This may or may not contradict canon, depending on your interpretations of it.

* I think Hannah has cream colored wings with golden yellow tips, see blog banner picture.

* Hannah is considered a relatively young angel. She is perhaps 5-10 million years old which when compared to the archangels which are perhaps billions of years old,is very young. She is older than humanity but wasn’t around to see dinosaurs.

* Caroline Johnson was born February 25th, 1980 in Great Falls, Montana. She is a Pisces.

* Hannah has had limited dealings with humans but she does have a certain bond with Caroline Johnson.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Venomous Visibility

As a creator, I always find the subject of representation kind of dubious. With the f*cked up Last of Us II leaks, the continuous misandrist poison leaking into the Star Wars canon from that Kennedy-led Lucasfilm, and the incredibly amazing portrayal of Jill Valentine in the Remake, this sh*t has been on my mind lately. Like, how do you write strong, female, protagonist without falling into that Mary Sue trap? How do you code black without being offensive? How do you write gay without resorting to stereotypes? I don't know how to distinguish a trans or deaf or autistic or native person through text without outright stating these things. Where's the nuance in portraying someone queer without it coming across as pandering? I don’t know if it’s because of my limited experience as a straight black dude who kind of thinks the current trend of eighty-eight genders and personal identifications is kind of ridiculous but i find the attempts studios make to cater to these groups to be adequate as f*ck. Like, Sarah Connor and Ellen Ripley kind of defined feminine bad-ass and they both did it way back in the 80s. Why is there this irreverent need to portray this misandrist energy in modern cinema? Birds of Prey was a fun time but it was way heavy-handed on that “Girl boss” energy and it didn’t have to e. Harley Quinn is already a boss and the Birds kick ass in their own right. Why does that have to be the focus of your narrative instead of actual character development and plot? Especially when you have that Ellen Ripley template? It’s weird to say but it feels like certain groups want those aspects to define the entirety of a character instead of it just being a part of them. I think that mindset is both toxic and does a disservice to the given narrative, unless the narrative, itself, is defined by those aspects.

I'm of the mind that, if you wrote dope characters, that should he enough. Take, for examples, Disney’s newest attempt to represent a queer character in Onward. I’ve never seen the movie, i have severe daddy issues so this hilariously outside of my wheelhouse, but i hear that one of the characters makes a passing reference to their same sex spouse. How is that not good enough? Isn’t that how it is in real life? I don’t see gays running around, shouting about their homo love from the balconies and rooftops. Unless it’s Pride. To add that little tidbit in the middle of a Pixar film, aimed at the notoriously conservative middle America, and not have them trying to burn down city hall is kind of amazing and, in my opinion, very tastefully done. At least it’s better executed than the way Beauty and the Beast did with the LeFou reveal. Like, holy sh*t. Talk about blue-balls. This fervent obsession with representation for representation sake or to push an agenda is absolutely repugnant. You think the character of Rey Skywalker would be enough of a lesson on that poisonous nonsense for everyone, not just Disney. Be it female lead, bisexual heroine, gay protagonist, whatever; If you're character is strong enough to be more than whatever social label cats want to code them with, then the representation is inconsequential. Don’t force something that doesn’t need to be forced.

I’ve seen representation executed beautifully. Euphoria is one of the best shows i’ve seen on television and it deals with a ton of sh*t that most SJWs want to fight about. Zendaya is excellent in this show and so is her trans partner, Hunter Schafer. The way that show is written, you can tell that there is an understanding about that culture, a personal connection to their world. That level of representation is outstanding and i commend the creators for giving us such a rich vision for those characters. That said, the strength of Euphoria is in the characters. Rue makes that show. It’s about her journey and everything after that, is a part of who she is as a character, not the defining aspect of it. That subtlety is how you represent an uniquely ignored demographic. That’s how you handle representation in media for adults. For kids, i think this is a little much. Not many nine-year-olds out there are recovering drug addicts.

I think the best piece of media i’ve ever seen in terms of representation actually came out of Disney years ago and gets criminally slept on to this day. Atlantis: The Lost Empire i easily the most diverse, accessible, and palatable piece of “woke” media, Disney has ever made, and it was never created to be so. Atlantis is a story with a female co-lead of color, who has her own agency, doesn’t really fall into the trap of being “damseled” and ends up being a Queen by the rend of this story. The male co-lead is an anxious, neurotic, nerd with a distinct lack of brawn, who beguiles the antagonists with his intellect. The supporting cast is a mixture of people of color, both of which are dope as sh*t, and various nationalities. I’ve spoken at length about my love for Kidagakash Nedakh, she’d be my favorite Disney Princess if she wasn’t a motherf*cking Queen, but i’d be lying if i didn’t admit Audrey had a near equal place in my heart for her sheer dopenesss. Doc is cool, too. Seriously, how is there no Atlantis world in Kingdom Hearts yet? F*cking Disney, man... For the record, my actual favorite Princess is Rapunzel with Jasmine coming in a close second.

Personally, when I create a character, I describe the way I imagine how they physically appear and let the reader assign whatever else afterwords. If I say a character is female with caramel color skin and lavender hair, it's up to the reader to define the minute details in their mind's eye. Is the Lavender a natural hair color? Is she black? Maybe Hispanic? Could she be native or Indian or something completely different? A lot of people have caramel color skin. Hell, she might just have a tan, I don't know because the way I see the character, is different than whoever reads it. I think that's one of the joys unique to literature, that ability to essentially "customize" a narrative to taste, which only amplifies my inability to reconcile this trend of "representation." A lot of people in the fandom attribute Ahsoka Tano as an LGBTQ character and i think that’s fine. It’s never implicitly stated but i don’t think it really has to be. Ahsoka is a bad ass and she displays all of that effortlessly. If you ant to ascribe a queer connotation to her, fine, but that’s not the part of the character that matters to the overall narrative. It shouldn’t be the one aspect which is harped upon officially. I actually really, really, love Ahsoka so i have a dog in this fight. Not so much about the gay coding, that’s a thing that doesn’t really matter to me, more the fact that she needs deserves more shine in the franchise. Thank you Mando II. Also, Dr. Aphra. I hope they actually give her a show. She’s f*cking awesome and, i think, a legit LGBTQ character. I could be wrong about that though.

If a character can be whatever you want them to be, why does it have to be implicitly stated? How is all of this forced representation and social agenda pushing not disingenuous at that point? How is it not more a hindrance than a strength? Why is it acceptable to have your token marginalized appearance, if it’s forced and detracts from the overall story trying to be told? Is it really okay to just accept such pedestrian pandering for the sake of pandering? Like, i’m not gay. How am i supposed to write a gay character without being an ass about it? The only way i know how is to be direct with it. Direct but subtle about everything. “Strong Female Character” should not be the one aspect of your character driving their development. You don’t need to create a Mary Sue in order to have a compelling female lead. Tifa Lockhart and Norah Price prove that. Your protagonist doesn’t need to be “the big gay” in order to be a bad ass. Ian Ghallagher and Willow Rosenberg prove that. Also, they’re both gingers so, you know, double the suffrage points i guess? You don’t have to write a potato who can do physics in their head, to represent an autistic person. Sherlock Holmes and Amelie Poulain prove that. I would definitely do what Disney did with Onward in order to represent a character of that type of minority because, to me, as a minority, i don’t believe any singular aspect determine the whole of a character. Race, gender, orientation, religion, and other social identifiers; All of those are just qualifiers to the core of the character you’re creating. They are parts, never a whole. These things are just additions to embellish and enrich, not the definition of who they are, as much as everyone wants it to be. I mean, at the end of the day, how lame is your character if all they are is gay or stronk female? How much of a boner is our story going to be with a protagonist as deep as a puddle because you feel some kind of way about visibility?

[hannah-deserved-better]

RPG starter call

Like this or reach out to me if you are a Castiel muse and would like to RPG with Hannah and would like me to send you a starter. Or reach out if you would like to collaborate on a poly pairing with Hannah, Castiel, and a muse of your choice (as long as it's not Destiel or Wincest). I’ll be reaching out via my Hannah muse side-blog @hannahhostofheaven but please read the rules below and some headcanons, I copied and pasted them from my Hannah muse; 

They are mostly the same with just a few updates. You need to have read my rules before we RP:

* I will follow you as my MUN blog with is @Hannah-deserved-better

* My OTP is always Hannah/Castiel so keep that in mind. My Hannah will always have a thing for Castiel. I am opened to RPing with other blogs but there probably won’t be any romance.

* I am open to poly pairings so if you want to do something with Castiel, Hannah, and someone else, I’m okay with that as long as it’s not Destiel or Wincest. I don’t ship either of those. I am open to Sastiel plus Hannah, Megstiel plus Hannah, OCs, whatever. But it needs to have chemistry.

* Note that I am a demisexual and bisexual person and as such, so is Hannah. Demisexual means I don’t just jump into sexual relationships without there being an emotional and mental relationship first.

* not interested in RPing with anyone who views angels as brothers and sisters cuz as I said, I ship Castiel/Hannah so our views will not be compatible.

* I play Hannah using Erica Carroll as a face claim.

* Caroline Johnson is available to RP with upon request.

* No god modding or making my character act without me. Don’t anticipate or assume what my character is going to do, I retain complete control of her. Also, no time jumps without discussing it first.

* Don’t nag me for a reply. I am very busy and real life comes first, I will try to reply when I can, and if I need another long break I’ll let you know.

* discuss plot with me. I am a plot driven writer and I like to plan things out. I am open to pretty much everything but I like mulling things over.

* It’s my belief that Hannah would be on the autism spectrum if she were human so any Human Hannah AUs will be like that.

* MUN is autistic.

* female vessel Castiel blogs are welcome.

* I play Hannah in character as I see her in the show. How she reacts to things doesn’t necessarily reflect the MUN’s personal views. Hannah is passionate for an angel but she is very stuck on her idea of angel code, law, and justice. The internal conflict can sometimes make her doubt herself and often makes her a bit of a contradiction. When her angel code says one thing and her feelings say another, she can have conflict. She is also impulsive and quick to anger. I am always trying to better my performance of her, but she certainly has a lot of strengths and a lot of flaws and you can expect me to play her that way. If she gets mad at your character don’t take it to mean it has anything to do with the MUN, I am just channeling Hannah.

* I don’t like just jumping into a relationship. I like to establish things first. It can’t be forced. Sometimes our muses get together very fast, sometimes there is angry hate sex first before there is love, sometimes it’s a slow burn, but we definitely have to go at the same speed. I never want to just start writing a situation where our muses are just automatically in a relationship from the beginning.

** ** I’ve eased up on my stance regarding smut lately, but I still tend to be kind of fickle about it, I have to be in the mood for it, so please check first. I am always okay with mild sex scenes and abstract sex scenes where we keep to metaphors and such, and I am not really into hardcore stuff. I reserve the right to fade to black if I’m not feeling it. Also, I do not write porn. My roleplays are plot centered adventures that can INCLUDE sex but nor REVOLVE AROUND sex.

* Also, on that note, if we are writing and I sense that a sex scene might be coming up, I’ll probably PM you (or you PM me) so we can be sure we are both on the same page.

* no child OCs.

* I like angsty, dark themes, hurt/comfort type plots. I really don’t have any known triggers, but check with me first. I am okay with torture and with plots involving rape, though not with children. Also note on rape: I will not RP graphic scenes of rape, I will always fade to black, no exceptions. Also Hannah will not be in any kind of relationship with your character if they are the ones doing the abuse.

* I don’t do the whole ABO alpha omega thing. I don’t understand how it works at all and it’s really just not my thing.

* My stories tend to be heavy on Supernatural lore so if you aren’t familiar with the show, I suggest checking out the Supernatural Wiki. I utilize it quite a bit myself: http://supernatural.wikia.com/wiki/Supernatural

* I’m not really into working outside the Supernatural verse, though sometimes I might be okay with crossing over with related verses such as Buffy the Vampire slayer, but I won’t want to work in a verse that I personally don’t know about (and I don’t watch a lot of TV so I am not part of many fandoms) so when in doubt, stick with Supernatural.

* We need to establish which season we are working with. If we don’t, I will assume that we are working with the most current season, in which case, I will default to the idea that Hannah has been dead since season 11, when she was killed by the angel Efram, when she was in her male vessel, and she died trying to defend Castiel, and was somehow brought back to life.

* Please try to play in character and with canon in mind. We will definitely be breaking with canon, but it needs to always be a guideline.

*  Mun is over 30. Mun is also married and has a job so the demands on my time can be formidable. Mun is in California so we are dealing with Pacific Standard Time.

* Supernatural deals with angels and demons and a lot of religious lore. I tend to stick closely to canon when it comes to lore and things like that, so if you are religious its probably best not to get offended by things like Lucifer and such because it’s just a show. I personally don’t come from a religious background, though my husband, who is very well versed in Judeo-Christian mystics, helps me in those areas of the show. I also happen to hold a degree in history and am pretty knowledgeable in anthropology, mythology, and world religions. That being said, I suggest we keep to the guidelines and criteria dictated by the show, not the bible.

* I am relatively new to Tumblr roleplays so I am not completely fluent in the lingo and such. I don’t know how to do icon threads and I don’t know what discord or anything like that is so we should stick with thread style format. Although I do like to insert pictures and gifs into my posts once in a while.

Headcanons:

* Hannah is an angel’s angel, she lives by her rules, but she finds inner conflict with her feelings. She believes in law, justice, and order.

* She is a unique angel in that she has emotions. This makes her more intuitive than other angels. She is quite passionate and although she doesn’t always understand emotions, she just knows she has them. She has a temper, especially when someone taunts her or Castiel.

* Hannah has a fascination with Humanity, although she holds and maintains a distance with these creatures she doesn’t quite understand. She tends to find ‘human things’ like eating unsettling and disgusting, at first, but she is open-minded and when given enough encouragement, she will try new things.

* Hannah likes plants and plant life. She has an aversion to things like fences, borders, and barriers. Some things she retained from Caroline was being a bit of a daydreamer, animal lover, and an adventurous world traveler. In RPGs were Caroline was able to have a career, she always pursued something in travel and tourism, or in anthropology.

* In this headcanon, Hannah has given up her vessel’s soul who has gone to heaven, leaving Hannah her body. But she still recalls certain events from Caroline’s life, like living in Montana. Her favorite animals are horses, dogs, and tigers.

* In this headcanon, Caroline and her husband were not on the best of terms. Depending on RPG, Joe can be seen as neglectful at best, abusive at worst, and there was a reason why Caroline said Yes to Hannah in the first place. This may or may not contradict canon, depending on your interpretations of it.

* I think Hannah has cream colored wings with golden yellow tips, see blog banner picture.

* Hannah is considered a relatively young angel. She is perhaps 5-10 million years old which when compared to the archangels which are perhaps billions of years old,is very young. She is older than humanity but wasn’t around to see dinosaurs.

* Caroline Johnson was born February 25th, 1980 in Great Falls, Montana. She is a Pisces.

* Hannah has had limited dealings with humans but she does have a certain bond with Caroline Johnson.

#starter call #spn hannah #castiel/hannah #castiel muse #poly ship #HannahGirl