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#even though it hurts he can't help but welcome it
arkashas · 1 month
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Hannibal hooking himself on Will's lure (and it piercing through his skin/person suit and leaving him bleeding).
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cute-sucker · 6 days
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all i can think about is boxer!rafe with his cute clumsy gf??
𐙚˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆。 ˚
rafe being a boxer did not help your situation as an unnaturally clumsy person.
you're always on the brink of failing down, head face first into concrete, or something even worse. you feel like an idiot every single day as you try to get through obstacles that face your everyday life.
going up the stairs? yes, you have fallen going up the stairs.
going down the stairs? check that off the list too. that was done a hot minute ago. it's all a blur to you, but when you and rafe first got into a relationship it was alarming the amount of bruises you got.
it was strange to be with someone so coordinated as him, as if every single on his moves was coordinated. you had watched him box and every move deliberate. power and strength oozed off of him, and you wondered what you even offered in the relationship. after all he was the one taking care of you.
he could tell when you were about to fall - his hand stuck out to catch you, he could tell when you were going to trip, hands reaching for your shoulders. you would always give him a cute smile afterwards, and a welcoming kiss.
but there were other times when you felt worse about it, crying to him about how incompetent you were, "can't do it, rafe. i'm so, so clumsy," and you could tell that he was fighting the urge to laugh as you pouted.
"nah. i like it," he would mutter, before gently smudging your lipstick with his finger as he tilted down to give you a peck, "keeps me on my toes."
and yet there were times when being clumsy did not help at all.
you were snuggled to his side, smelling his hoodie in deeply before sighing. the movie was playing in the background as he held you close to his chest, as a soft humming escaped your lips. it was a moment you knew you would always remember, and you raised your arms to stretch.
little to your knowledge the sleeves of your shirt went down to uncover a litter of blue and green bruises. they looked fairly recent but still were blossoming on your skin. unbeknownst to you, rafe's eyes quickly traveled to your arms.
"hey? you good?" he sputtered out, and you gave him a smitten nod, burrowing deeper into his chest. rafe looked even more concerned, readjusting - which forced you to get up as a short whine left your mouth.
he tugged at your sweatshirt, "what the hell was that?"
you furrowed your eyebrows, "what the hell was what? you have to be more specific rafe-" you hated this, and even though you didn't know what he was talking about there was this inkling of fear that stuck into your heart.
rafe let out a grunt, before pulling away down your sleeves again, and then he pointed at the bruises, "these? who hurt you?"
dumbfounded you stared at your arms, and then looked at rafe - his eyes practically bugging out of their sockets, jaw clenched as if a vein was about to burst and you couldn't help but start giggling.
"hey. hey, focus," a hand reached for your jaw as you stared into his steely eyes. suddenly you saw another side of him, the rafe that everyone talked about. the one that could knock out a guy with one punch, the one that came home with bloody knuckles and a chewed mouth guard. and yet it was the same rafe that slept in your bed comfortably and whispered your name gently as if he wanted to etch it on his heart.
that rafe.
you had zoned out again before you noticed his furious expression, and then an unpleasant smile that crossed on his face. it looked as if he was trying to feign being calm, and you felt tears prick your eyes.
"rafe-"
"no crying. c'mon baby, just give me a name."
now you were chuckling through tears, and he gave him an incredulous look.
finally he pecked your lips, his words oddly sweet, "listen. i've always told you i'm gonna protect you right. it's jeff isn't it-" his words came out sharp, and you knew exactly who he was talking about - your boss at the restaurant you worked at who complained about your inability to do anything right.
but that was definitely not it.
"rafe!" you finally sputtered, "rafe it's me."
finally he stopped, his mouth gaping open, "what do you mean it's you sweets?"
you huffed, looking down at your arms, "i'm so darn clumsy that i have bruises everywhere. i always check before i go to bed, yk' to check how many i have."
rafe's concern quickly shifted to a mix of frustration and worry as he examined the bruises on your arms, letting soft clucks. he let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair before turning to you with a furrowed brow.
"sweetheart, you have to be more careful," he said, his tone tinged with annoyance but softened by genuine concern, and then he finally tugged you in closer as you started to protest.
"we'll talk about this later. maybe you'll start boxing, huh? you'll be my little champ."
𐙚˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆。 ˚
taglist for all my fics; @wearemadeofstardust0
taglist for boxer!rafe: @maybankslover @vogueprincess @spookyscaryspoon
let me know if you'd like to be added!
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winterarmyy · 10 days
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He Hates Me, Doesn't He?
A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.
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Summary: You hurt Bucky's girl, and now he hates you.
Pairing: tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Words: 6.7k++
Warnings: angstyyyyyyyyy, but with happy ending because I cannot live in agony. miscommunication galore. 'I want to strangle bucky's girlfriend.' soft reader, cold/mean bucky. bucky should've grovel more. horrible attempt of writing verbal arguments. nothing much but pain.
Inspiration: I remember reading a bucky fic years ago and I like the pain that it caused me to feel. Idk why the pain suddenly came back to me lately. So, this is my take on the same idea. I haven't able to find it. But when I do, I'll reblog it in my another acc!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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y/n had always been a steady presence in the Avengers, known for her gentle demeanour and unwavering support. Her relationship with Bucky Barnes had blossomed from a quiet friendship into something deeper. When they first met, Bucky was reserved and hesitant, still grappling with his past as the Winter Soldier. y/n, with her gentle nature and patient understanding, slowly helped him come out of his shell.
She remembered the sleepless nights they spent together when they were on the run with Steve and Sam. They'd share stories, and sometimes just sit in silence, her quiet company offering solace to Bucky's restless mind. The unspoken bond growing stronger with each passing day. Bucky looked up to her, finding comfort in her presence, and in turn, he became fiercely protective of her. They'd watch each other's backs during missions, their synergy on the battlefield a testament to their deep connection. 
And somewhere along the line, she fell for him. She had fallen for Bucky's resilience and vulnerability, though she never expected more, knowing that a relationship was not what he needed right now. At least, that's what she thought. Little did she know, Bucky had always loved her; ever since the day she offered him tea the first night they were on the run to Wakanda. Maybe she was just simply aloof, or maybe Bucky’s flirting skills weren’t translated the way he wanted, but they never crossed the line between friendship and ‘something more’.
Then when Jen came into the picture, it felt like things started to change. Jen was bold and confident, and it wasn't long before she caught Bucky's eye. Their relationship seemed to spring up overnight, and y/n, though hurt, tried to be happy for Bucky. Jen was supportive and caring, or so it seemed, and Bucky deserved happiness.
Now, as planned the team was instructed to moved into the Avenger compound for a few months to train new recruits. It had only been the first month but surely it was jam packed with endless of rigorous training sessions. The original team—y/n, Sam, Bucky, Jen, Clint, and his mentee Kate Bishop—were all assigned to train the new recruits, with additional of few agents from different branches coming in to help out.
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y/n was heading to the training room; she knew it was way too early but she thought that if she didn’t get out of bed now, she might not even get up at all. To her surprise, she was not the first one. She saw a few new trainees were already on the way to the training room; some of them greeted her a good morning. She simply smiled at their enthusiasm. 
The moment she entered the area, she overheard voices coming from the corner of the room. She paused, recognizing Jen's voice, which was raised and laced with contempt. Curiosity piqued, y/n stepped closer, staying just out of sight behind the white board. In hindsight, it might seem weird that she was sneaking around to eavesdrop on Jen, but she couldn't help it.
Initially, y/n liked Jen. She tried to welcome her into their tight-knit group and even supported her relationship with Bucky. However, as time went on, Jen began acting strange. The things she said about Bucky sometimes sounded condescending. She would make comments like, "It's amazing how well he's adjusted, considering his past," or, "It's great that he's trying so hard to be normal." The way she acted often differed from her words, with Jen giving Bucky disapproving glances or sighing heavily whenever he mentioned something from his troubled past.
She had noticed these discrepancies and started to feel uneasy around Jen. She couldn't shake the feeling that Jen’s support was just a facade. Now, standing behind the whiteboard, she strained to hear the conversation.
"…and honestly, I don’t understand how anyone can trust him," Jen was saying. "I mean, sure, he's got that whole 'reformed hero' thing going on now, but let’s be real. He was Hydra’s pet assassin for decades. The things he’s done? It’s unforgivable."
Her friend, another agent from a different branch, nodded hesitantly. "But you’re dating him, aren’t you? Doesn’t that mean you trust him?"
Jen laughed, a cold, humourless sound. "Dating him? Please. I’m in it for the fame and the perks. Have you seen the way people look at us? Besides, he’s hot, I’ll give him that. But trust him? Never. People like him don’t change. They’re broken. He's a monster, and he always will be. It’s only a matter of time before he snaps again."
y/n felt a surge of anger rise within her. How dare Jen talk about Bucky like that? 
Memories flooded her mind, flashing back to Bucky’s nightmare-plagued nights. She remembered the prominent dark circles under his eyes, the haunted look that never quite left his face. The silent pain he endured, adjusting to a modern world where he felt like an outsider, magnified when Steve left. She could still see the wary, suspicious glances people cast in his direction, the whispers behind his back when they first ventured out. Before the fame he acquired as he regained his reputation after the Flag-Smasher incident.
She had witnessed his hardships firsthand—the nightmares that woke him in a cold sweat, the moments of crippling doubt and self-loathing. But she had also seen his triumphs, the small victories that slowly built his confidence. The first time he laughed freely in her presence, the genuine smile that lit up his face when he finally allowed himself to relax. She cherished those moments, the sunshine that broke through the clouds of his tortured past.
All of this came rushing back, breaking the chains on the Pandora's box inside of her. The fury she felt wasn't just for the disrespect to Bucky; it was for every ounce of pain he had suffered, every moment of joy he had fought so hard to reclaim. Her eyes hardened with resolve as she stepped forward, her voice steady but cold. "Take that back," she demanded, her presence startling both Jen and her friend.
Jen turned slowly, a smirk spreading across her face as she saw y/n. She knew from the beginning about the cute little crush y/n had on Bucky. To be frank, everybody sort of knew about it, except for Bucky somehow. 
"Or else what, y/n?" she replied with a mocking tone. "You’re quite pathetic aren’t you? You think that I can’t see how you’ve been eye-fucking my boyfriend all this time? Come on, now. Backing him up would not give you a leeway into his pants, y/n."
y/n’s face went through a range of emotions—shock, embarrassment, and then seething anger. Jen’s words were like poison, each one landing like a punch to the gut.
Jen continued, confidence oozing out of her cocky demeanor, "Besides, we all know that I can easily beat you in a fight, doll" 
The use of doll—a nickname Bucky had given y/n from day one, when Steve had quite literally kidnapped Bucky from the government—made y/n blood boil. Hearing it from Jen felt like a personal attack, a deliberate attempt to undermine everything she shared with Bucky.
And it was true that Jen had graduated top of her batch from the Avengers program and had countless successful missions under her belt, but y/n knew this wasn't about accolades or abilities. This was about something deeper, something more personal.
y/n clenched her fists, taking a step closer. "You think this is about who can fight better?" she said, her voice shaking with restrained fury. "This is about respect. You don’t get to talk about Bucky like that."
Jen scoffed, a cruel smile on her lips. "Respect? For that monster? You’re delusional. He’s a ticking time bomb, a liability to the team. And deep down, everyone knows it."
y/n’s patience snapped. In one swift motion, she slapped Jen hard across the face, the sound echoing through the room. Jen stumbled and fell to the ground, shock and anger flashing across her features.
She stalks forward like a predator cornering its prey, "I’m just done with your lies and your insults. Bucky deserves better than you." Jen instinctively crawled backwards towards the centre of the room. Seeing that she got the attention of the few new recruits she regained her composure, smirked again, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. "You’re pathetic, y/n," she taunted. "Defending a lost cause." her voice was loud enough for y/n to hear but quiet enough that the others might not be able to decipher her words.
At that moment, Bucky and Sam burst into the room, followed closely behind by a new recruit who alerted them of the incident. Bucky’s eyes widened as he took in the scene—Jen on the ground, y/n standing over her, shaking with rage. "What’s going on here?" His demand was completely ignored as y/n’s mind was hyper-focused on the wrath bubbling within her. 
"Get up," y/n demanded, her voice shaking with wrath. Bucky’s momentarily froze as he watched the confrontation escalate before him. y/n, usually so composed, was now a whirlwind of rage, her eyes blazing as she stood over a trembling Jen. Bucky had always known her to be fierce in battle, but this was different—this was raw, unbridled anger. "I'm going to make you regret every word you said. So get on your fucking feet before I rip it off you.." 
Jen, still on the ground, looked up at y/n with wide, teary eyes, playing the role of the victim to perfection. "Please, I didn't– I don’t know what you're…," she whimpered, casting a fearful glance at Bucky and Sam, who had just arrived on the scene.
Bucky's mind raced. Why was she doing this? He stepped forward, trying to diffuse the situation. "y/n, hey!" he shouted, his voice a mix of confusion and anger. "What are you doing?"
Completely ignoring him, "Get up," y/n snarled, her eyes blazing with intensity. "Get up and fight me. I’ll show you who the real monster is." Jen looked up, her hand on her cheek, disbelief mingling with her fury. "You’re crazy," she spat, scrambling to her feet.
Her response was only a furious shout. "I said, get up!"
"y/n, are you crazy?!" Bucky yelled, moving quickly to intervene. He grabbed her wrist, his grip tight and unforgiving.
She turned her fierce gaze towards Bucky; her expression momentarily faltering at the hurt in his eyes. "Bucky, you don’t understand, she--" she began, but the words caught in her throat as she saw Jen's smirk flicker for just a second.
"There's nothing to understand," Bucky snapped. "You’re acting insane."
y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt and frustration. "Bucky, you have to listen—"
But he cut her off, his expression hard. "I don’t care! You hurt her, y/n. You think I don’t see that bruise on her cheek?!" Bucky shouted, his face contorted with anger. His eyes, usually filled with a gentle warmth when he looked at y/n, were now blazing with fury. "This isn’t like you, y/n. I’ve noticed that you’ve never liked Jen, and I don’t know why. But this? This is just immature and reckless." His metal grip on y/n's wrist was tighter than he intended. She winced, her eyes watering not just from the pain but from the sting of his words. 
y/n had never seen Bucky like this. His anger was palpable, radiating off him in waves. It was like being hit with a physical force, and she felt her heart breaking under the weight of it. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away, her anger flaring even hotter. "Bucky, you don’t understand," she tried to explain, but the words caught in her throat.
Bucky’s expression remained hard, the force on her wrist tightening painfully. "You need to grow up, y/n," he seethed, his disappointment evident in his tone. "You're always causing drama lately, and it needs to stop. Jen’s been there for me in ways you haven’t, and I won’t tolerate you attacking her like this."
The words cut through her like a knife. Her heart shattered at his harshness, at the realization that Bucky thought so little of her. She yanked her wrist free, feeling the sting of his grip lingering. "Fine," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Believe what you want."
Without another word, she turned and stormed out, leaving Bucky standing there, torn between confusion and guilt.
A gnawing sense of remorse tugging at him, but he couldn't shake the confusion and anger clouding his mind. "Jen, are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.
Jen, tucking herself to his side, managed to summon a few tears, looking up at Bucky with a feigned innocence. "I don’t know why she hates me so much," she murmured, playing her part perfectly.
Bucky fingers softly traces on her wounded cheek before his gaze switched to y/n’s retreating form, a knot tightening in his chest. He wasn’t sure why those mean words had spouted out of his lips. Was it because he saw Jen injured on the ground and his protective instincts kicked in? Or was it because Jen had been whispering doubts in his ear about y/n’s loyalty, making him question his longtime friend? 
The truth was, Bucky had always relied on y/n’s unwavering support. She had been his rock through the toughest times, and seeing her so furious, so hurt, shook him to his core. Yet, in the heat of the moment, he had lashed out, unable to reconcile the image of Jen crying with the fierce anger that radiated from y/n.
As Bucky comforted Jen, his mind was a storm of conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake the image of hurt on her face, nor could he ignore the nagging feeling that he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.
On the side, Sam was only able to watch the scene play out silently, a frown creasing his brow. He had a feeling there was more to this story, and he intended to get to the bottom of it.
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As weeks passed, the rift between Bucky and y/n deepened, fueled by Jen's cunning manipulation. In a private conversation, Jen planted seeds of doubt in Bucky's mind, suggesting that y/n harboured hidden resentments and intentions.
"I hate to say it, Bucky, but maybe she's not who we thought she was," Jen insinuated, her voice dripping with false concern. "Maybe she's been hiding her true feelings all along, waiting for the right moment to strike." 
Bucky, already vulnerable and confused after the incident in the training room, absorbed Jen's words like poison, allowing them to fester and take root in his mind. He began to view y/n through a new lens, one tainted by suspicion and distrust. This single conversation, filled with subtle manipulations and insidious suggestions, was all it took to fracture the bond between Bucky and y/n, leaving Bucky cold and distant towards the one person who had always stood by his side.
Most days he would avoid eye contact with her during team meetings, barely acknowledging her presence when they were forced to interact. In training sessions, his instructions to her were curt and clipped, lacking the warmth and camaraderie they once shared. y/n felt each of these interactions like a stab to the heart.
She couldn't understand how quickly Bucky had turned against her, how easily he had accepted Jen's version of events without even giving her a chance to explain. The hurt festered inside her, eating away at her sense of self-worth.
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Then one night, as y/n sat alone on the rooftop, staring out into the darkness, Sam found her there. He knew this was where she retreated when she needed space to think, to process her emotions. He approached her cautiously, sitting down beside her without a word.
"Why aren't you at dinner, y/n?" Sam finally asked, breaking the silence. He could see the emptiness in her eyes, the weight of her sorrow pressing down on her.
She shook her head, her voice hollow. "Lost my appetite," she muttered, her gaze still fixed on the horizon.
Sam gently prodded, knowing there was more to her withdrawal than just a lack of hunger. "Is it because of what happened the other day at the training room?" he asked softly.
Instantly, her demeanor shifted. Anger flared in her eyes, directed not just at Jen and Bucky, but at the entire situation. "I don't want to talk about it, Sam," she snapped, her frustration bubbling to the surface. But Sam wasn't one to give up easily, especially when he knew how much y/n was hurting. "Come on, y/n," he urged, his voice gentle but insistent. "You can't keep bottling this up. Talk to me."
Her expression softened slightly at Sam's persistence, but the pain still lingered in her eyes. "Seriously, Sam, please just drop it," she pleaded, her voice wavering with emotion.
Sam could see the cracks forming in her facade, the vulnerability seeping through the tough exterior she usually projected. Without a word, he pulled her into a comforting embrace, letting her bury her face against his shoulder.
As she clung to him, her facade finally crumbled. Her lips trembled, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbreak. "Bucky hates me."
Sam held her tighter, offering silent comfort as she grappled with the weight of her sorrow. He knew there were no easy answers, no quick fixes to mend the shattered pieces of y/n's heart. But in that moment, all he could do was be there for her, a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.
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The dim glow of the kitchen's overhead light provided a faint sense of solace in the otherwise silent darkness of the compound. Bucky sat at the wooden table, his tired eyes staring blankly at the cup of untouched tea before him. It was a nightly ritual lately, this dance with sleeplessness and the haunting memories that lurked in the shadows of his mind yet again.
Footsteps broke the stillness, and Bucky's gaze shifted to the entrance of the kitchen. y/n stood hesitantly in the doorway, her presence casting a tentative aura over the room. There was a palpable tension between them, an unspoken weight that hung heavy in the air.
She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Mind if I join you?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was expecting Bucky to ignore her completely but he didn’t; Bucky simply shrugged nonchalantly, his guard seemed to flatter. "Suit yourself," he muttered.
As she quietly took a seat opposite him, a heavy silence settled between them. Bucky's thoughts churned with a whirlwind of emotions, each one vying for dominance over the others. His guard seemed to falter in the presence of her tentative yet comforting aura. The weight of his own vulnerability loomed large in his mind, drowning out the anger he had harboured towards her.
As the silence stretched between them, she felt a surge of compassion wash over her. She knew why he was awake at this time. She knew that the tea he brewed was to help him sleep. She was the one who planted that habit to him after all.
And despite everything that had transpired between them, she couldn't bear to see Bucky suffer alone. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she decided to reach out to him, to offer what little comfort she could.
Without a word, y/n rose from her seat and moved to stand behind Bucky's chair. He stiffened at her touch, his muscles tense with apprehension. But as her gentle hands began to massage the tension from his neck, a wave of unexpected relief washed over him.
Her touch was soft and comforting, a stark contrast to the coldness he had grown accustomed to due to Jen’s unwillingness to acknowledge this side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair, coaxing him to relax, to let go of the burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. For a brief moment, Bucky allowed himself to forget the walls he had built around his heart. In her presence, her voice, and her touch; he felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of warmth that he had long since forgotten.
But then, like a sudden gust of wind extinguishing a fragile flame, the weight of Jen's words came crashing back down upon him. Anger flared within him, hot and fierce, directed not only at y/n but at himself for allowing his heart to yearn for her.
He pushed himself away from the table, his movements sharp and abrupt. "I don't need your pity, y/n," he spat, his words laced with bitterness. "Just leave me alone."
With that, he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving y/n alone in the suffocating silence.The disbelief that clouded her thoughts gave way to a searing agony that twisted in her chest. How could he say such things? How could he push her away so callously, after everything they had shared?
y/n buried her face in her hands, her body trembling with the force of her sobs. The weight of her shattered dreams pressed down on her, crushing her spirit beneath its merciless grip. She had never felt so alone, so utterly abandoned by the one person she had trusted above all others.
The pain of losing Bucky, of losing the love that had sustained her through the darkest of times, threatened to consume her whole. Each breath felt like a struggle, each heartbeat a painful reminder of the emptiness that now filled her soul.
In that moment of crushing despair, she couldn't help but believe that Bucky truly hated her. The thought tore through her like a knife, leaving behind a raw, gaping wound that no amount of time or distance could ever hope to heal.
As she sat alone in the suffocating silence of the kitchen, y/n felt the full weight of her heartbreak descend upon her like a tidal wave. She was lost in a sea of pain and sorrow, drowning in the agony of losing someone she had loved so deeply, so completely. And in that moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find her way back to the surface again.
Unbeknownst to her, Bucky lingered just out of sight, his heart heavy with guilt. He wanted to go back, to take back his harsh words and hold her close, to chase away the tears that stained her cheeks. But the poison in his mind was too strong, clouding his judgement and trapping him in a cycle of self-destructive despair. And so, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked away, leaving y/n to cry alone in the darkness.
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The mission had already been tense enough, but as y/n found herself face to face with Jen in a location she wasn't supposed to be, the atmosphere crackled with an added layer of hostility. It was as if fate had conspired to place them in this confrontation, and her jaw clenched involuntarily as she braced herself for what was to come.
Jen's presence in that spot was no coincidence, and she knew it. Her suspicions were confirmed as Jen turned to face her, a smirk playing on her lips, a gleam of malice in her eyes. y/n's grip tightened on her weapon, her pulse quickening as she prepared for the verbal assault she knew was coming.
"How does it feel, knowing that Bucky hates you now?" Jen's words sliced through the air like a knife, each syllable carrying the weight of y/n’s deepest fears. It was a direct hit, striking at the core of her insecurities, and for a moment, she felt as though the ground had been ripped out from beneath her feet.
But she refused to let Jen see her falter. With a steely resolve, she squared her shoulders and met Jen's gaze head-on, her expression a mask of defiance. She may have been shaken by Jen's words, but she refused to let them break her.
Ignoring the taunts, she focused on the mission at hand, determined to prove her worth despite Jen's attempts to undermine her. But with each passing moment, the weight of Jen's words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over y/n’s every move.
It was a battle on two fronts – against the enemy they faced together, and against the doubts that threatened to consume her from within. But she refused to back down, drawing strength from the knowledge that she fought not just for herself, but for the team she believed in with all her heart.
But Jen's relentless barrage of insults made it difficult to concentrate, her words like daggers slicing through y/n’s defenses.
"Aww come on y/n, bet you’re reeling in the loss right now, aren’t you." Jen continued, her voice ice cold. "The Asset’s little lapdog, clinging to him like a lost puppy."
y/n’s temper flared at the insult, her grip tightening on her weapon as she fought to keep her emotions in check. But Jen's mocking laughter only fueled the fire burning within her, pushing her to the brink of her patience. "Shut your mouth, Jen," she growled, her voice low and dangerous. "Or I swear to God, I'll make sure that the team finds your body disassembled in one of these rooms."
Jen simply rolled her eyes, unfazed by her threat. "You love him that much, huh?" y/n had no intention to deny that fact; she does love him, "More than you ever could." her voice was firm and true. Jen’s smirk fell as she scoffed. "Ain't that cute, the Winter Soldier and his little psycho sweetheart."
Before y/n could respond, a voice cut through the tension like a knife, freezing her in place. It was Bucky, his expression dark and stormy as he stepped into view. "What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he took in the scene before him.
y/n’s heart sank as she realized that Bucky might have heard everything. She turned around to meet his eyes and his face confirmed her suspicion; he heard it.  Bucky had heard everything – every taunt, every insult, every word exchanged between her and Jen; even the confession of her true feelings. She met his gaze; searching for some sign of understanding of his emotions and the little that she saw was: disappointment, betrayal and guilt, mirrored back at her in the depths of his stormy blue eyes. 
In that moment, all she wanted to do was pull him into her arms, to pull him away from all the painful memories and hurtful words; so far away that he would forget he had ever been taunted, betrayed, or made to feel less than he was.
Before she could utter a word, let alone take a step towards him, Jen's voice broke through, but it lacked the usual confidence. "Bucky, it's not what you think," she stammered, her eyes darting nervously between Bucky and y/n. "I-I was just..."
y/n’s clenched her jaw, her patience wearing thin as Jen stumbled over her words, unable to come up with a coherent explanation. She could see the confusion and hurt in Bucky's eyes, a reflection of the turmoil raging within her own heart.
"I-I mean," Jen continued, her voice faltering. "I was...um...just trying to...uh..."
But her feeble attempts to justify her actions only served to further incense Bucky. His brow furrowed in anger, his fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to make sense of the situation.
"Enough," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "I don't want to hear any more lies."
y/n’s heart ached as she watched Bucky's expression darken with anger and disappointment. She wanted to explain, to tell him the truth about Jen's betrayal and her own misguided attempt to defend him. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her guilt and regret.
With a heavy sigh, Bucky turned away, his shoulders slumped with defeat. "Let's just finish the mission," he muttered, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "We'll deal with this later."
As he was about to walk away, y/n noticed a red dot on his chest, the unmistakable mark of a sniper's laser sight. Without thinking twice, she leaped towards him, her body acting as a human shield. Time seemed to slow down as she collided with Bucky, pushing him out of the way.
"y/n, no!" Bucky shouted, his voice filled with panic as her body slumped against his chest.
In the chaos, Jen was nowhere to be seen. She had slipped away, taking shelter and ultimately fleeing the area as she heard multiple footsteps approaching.
Bucky tried to pull up his gun, but it was too late. An array of bullets rained down on them. He felt the searing pain of a few shots piercing his own flesh, but it was nothing compared to the sight of y/n’s body being riddled with bullets. She was hit in the shoulder, wrist, thighs, and other places Bucky couldn't even register.
Rage surged through Bucky like an inferno, obliterating any semblance of restraint. He moved with a deadly precision, his eyes blazing with fury as he unleashed a storm of bullets on the enemy. His movements were swift and unforgiving, every shot finding its mark with brutal accuracy. The enemy fell one by one, their bodies collapsing in lifeless heaps. The air was filled with the deafening sound of gunfire and the acrid smell of gunpowder, but Bucky's focus was unyielding.
Within moments, the room was cleared, the enemies wiped out in a flurry of rage-fueled vengeance.
The adrenaline ebbed away, leaving Bucky standing amidst the carnage, his chest heaving. He turned, and his eyes fell on y/n's crumpled form. The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood shattered his rage, replacing it with a crushing wave of worry and panic.
"Hang in there. Please," Bucky hastily spoke, his voice trembling. He activated his com line, desperation seeping into his tone. "Guys, we need help. y/n... she's... she's been shot. We need to get out of here right now!" Panic coursed through him as he turned his attention back to y/n, frantically trying to stop the bleeding on her stomach. "y/n, doll…please" he pleaded, watching her hazy gaze. "Don't you dare give up on me now. Come on."
"babydoll, stay with me!" Bucky cried, his voice breaking as he cradled her in his arms. Blood soaked through her clothes, staining his hands. "Please, hang on, you can’t leave yet. I haven't told you... I haven't—" 
Her eyes fluttered open, her breathing shallow and ragged. "It's okay, Bucky," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the chaos. "It's okay. Don't cry." Her shaking hands struggled to move, and with great effort, she managed to cup Bucky's cheek. The gesture was weak but filled with tenderness. "It's okay," she repeated, her fingers trembling against his skin.
"Don't talk like that," Bucky choked out, his own tears mingling with the blood on his face. "You can't.. I haven't told you...please doll..." His voice wavered with the weight of unspoken words and unconfessed feelings. He hadn't told her how much he truly cared for her, how every moment spent away from her felt like an eternity. He hadn't begged for forgiveness for his coldness, his mistakes, and for letting Jen's poison taint his actions. The guilt gnawed at him, each heartbeat a reminder of the words he hadn't said, the emotions he hadn't expressed. 
He pressed her hand harder against his cheek, feeling the warmth of her touch anchoring him in the moment.Her hand weakly brushing against his cheek. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured. "I know."
Bucky's heart shattered as he clung to her, feeling her life slipping away. "No, no, no," he muttered desperately. "You can't leave me. Please, y/n. Please."
She smiled faintly, her eyes closing. "I'm here, Bucky. I'm right here."
With a final, shuddering breath, y/n’s consciousness slipped away. Bucky felt a surge of panic, but he knew he had to move. He lifted her limp body, cradling her against his chest as he ran towards the quinjet. Each step was agony, his own injuries slowing him down, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting y/n to safety.
"Hang on, y/n," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Hang on. I won't let you go."
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In the sterile environment of the medical bay, y/n lay unconscious, her body hooked up to various machines that monitored her vital signs. Bucky sat by her bedside, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying. Every beep of the monitor seemed to echo through the silence, a haunting reminder of her fragile state. He held her hand, his thumb gently caressing her bandaged wrist.
Memories of their time together flooded Bucky's mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the connection they shared. He remembered the laughter they had shared, the late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. He remembered the gentle touch of her hand, the warmth of her smile that never failed to chase away the darkness.
But amidst the memories, there was also pain – the pain of their last conversation, the words left unsaid and the choices left unmade. Bucky's throat tightened as he recalled the day he had walked away from Jen, the air thick with tension and unspoken truths.
His voice was cold and final. "You almost got her killed, Jen," he had said, his eyes blazing with anger. "Stay away from us. Stay away from me."
Jen's eyes had flashed with anger, her words cutting like knives as she lashed out in frustration. "And what, you think you'll find someone better than me?" she had spat, her voice dripping with venom. "Good luck with that, Bucky. You'll never find anyone who would put up with your baggage."
But Bucky had remained resolute, his decision fueled by a sense of longing and regret that threatened to consume him whole. "Maybe not," he had admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't truly care about me."
Now, as Bucky sat by y/n’s bedside, the weight of his decision bore down on him like a crushing weight. Tears welled in his eyes as he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers trembling with emotion.
"I'm so sorry, babydoll," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I never meant for any of this to happen. So, please, wake up. I need you."
But y/n remained unconscious, her breathing shallow and weak as she lay before him. And as Bucky watched over her, his heart heavy with worry and regret, he vowed to do whatever it took to bring her back to him, to keep her safe from harm for all eternity.
For in that moment, Bucky realized that he couldn't bear to lose her – not now, not ever. She was his rock, his anchor in a world of uncertainty and pain. And as he held her hand tightly in his own, he prayed with all his heart that she would find her way back to him, to the love and light that had always guided them through the darkness.
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The soft hum of machines filled the air as y/n stirred awake, her senses slowly coming back to her. She blinked, disoriented at first, until her gaze fell upon Bucky, who was sleeping soundly in the chair beside her bed. His hands were clasped tightly around hers, his face peaceful in slumber, but she couldn't help but notice the tear stains on his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the worry lines etched into his forehead.
"How long has it been since?" she wondered to herself, her heart aching at the sight of Bucky's exhausted form. She carefully sat up, trying not to disturb him as she lovingly examined his sleeping face. She couldn't help but smile as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through her fingertips.
Bucky groaned as his sleep was interrupted, muttering something about Sam needs to leave him be; before he abruptly sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Hi there," y/n greeted softly, her eyes sparkling with affection as she watched Bucky's reaction.
For a moment, Bucky seemed unable to comprehend that she was finally awake. His eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. But then the realization hit him, and he threw himself at her, wrapping her in a tight embrace as if she were the most precious thing in the world .Despite the pain that shot through her body, she managed to let out a soft chuckle, returning his embrace with equal fervor. The warmth of his embrace chased away the lingering chill of unconsciousness, and for a moment, everything felt right.
"y/n..." Bucky breathed into her neck, his voice trembling with emotion. She hummed in response, her heart swelling for him. "Hmmm?"
Not wanting to let go of her, Bucky called her name once again, his voice wavering with uncertainty. "y/n-..." She paused, her lips curving into a tender smile as she whispered in his ear, "Yes, Bucky?"
Bucky tightened his grip, his breath hitching in his throat as he buried his face in her shoulder. y/n gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "I'm here, sweetheart." The scent of her hair, the feel of her warmth against him—it all felt overwhelming. Emotions churned inside him like a tempest. Relief, guilt, love, and fear battled for dominance, leaving him raw and exposed.
She gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere.
Bucky's mind raced, images of the past few weeks flashing before his eyes. He remembered the coldness with which he'd treated her, the cruel words that had slipped from his lips, fueled by Jen's poison. He thought of the sleepless nights, the nightmares that had gripped him, and the aching void he'd felt every time he saw y/n’s hurt expression.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "For everything. For not believing you. For pushing you away."
Reluctantly, she pulled away, but not before wiping the tears from Bucky's cheeks and fighting the urge to place a tender kiss on his forehead. As she looked into his eyes, she could see the depth of his love and the pain he had endured for her sake. And in that moment, she knew that she had found her home in his arms. Bucky took her hands in his own, his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to her wounded wrists. "This will never happen again. Ever," he vowed, his voice filled with determination.
Moved by his words, y/n felt her heart flutter with emotion. She realized in that moment that she could never stay angry at him, no matter what had transpired between them. She understood now that they were both at fault, both victims of circumstance and misunderstanding.
With a surge of courage, she reached out and pulled Bucky into a kiss. Her lips met his in a slow, passionate embrace, pouring all of her love and forgiveness into the tender gesture. It was a moment of connection, of healing, of reaffirming their bond despite the trials they had faced.
The taste of Bucky's lips was like a soothing salve to her soul; it was intoxicating. It felt as if the world had fallen away, leaving only the two of them entwined in each other's arms. When they finally broke apart, Bucky whispered those three words that y/n had longed to hear, "I love you."
Her heart soared with joy, and she couldn't help but tease him, "Took you long enough." her teasing words met with a cheeky grin from Bucky.  "I love you too, Bucky" she blinked slowly. As he whispered softly under his breath, "Come here," he pulled her back into the kiss, their lips meeting in a tender embrace that spoke volumes of their unspoken love. And in that moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of their world, they found solace in each other's arms, knowing that together, they could weather any storm.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: I just needed to let this out lmao. It's been stuck in my head for several weeks. Thank you for spending your time reading this crap... honestly. Love you so much 🤍
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suguru-getos · 6 months
Note
What about yan Satosugu who take it too far? Imagine them breaking their darling to a damage they can’t repair?
ksjdfshgkkjsh this is my favorite troupe.
warnings: v v v dark! (reader die-th? reader can contemplate :3), belt-spanking, reader ran away from satosugu, mentions of throwing-up, abuse, self-harm.
"please daddy, please no no no…" little human that satoru and suguru loved oh so much, why did you have to escape? it breaks their heart. you know it just from their facial expressions. "suguru- please" you whine out, shuddering and crying with wailing screams. you are hung from the ceiling, throttling on your tippytoes, ass bruised from the way the belt welts on you. you are bleeding from the skin breaking. "daddy- please." your voice stops coming out from your throat, too traumatized and destroyed by screaming and wailing for mercy. "please- please" you are wheezing out in air, your own voice has given up. "ssh, it's okay. just 4 more." suguru chides, "didn't want to hurt you." he muses, landing the smack of the belt across your ass once more. satoru smirked, oh you look so cute, unable to scream anymore and just dancing on your feet with the impact. you feel nausea hurling your movements, throwing up because you couldn't take it anymore. though nothing comes out except water… you haven't eaten well, since after your running spree.
that stops suguru, and satoru hugs you gently. "just three more." they have decided they would finish the punishment no matter what. "sshh~ don't worry, doing so good for us. I will clean you up." if you really can't be theirs, they would make you fear them into submission. make you fear them and forcefully take their love which they're owed.
the next three hits come, and when it stops. you're too dazed with pain to even register the comfort. the flesh of your ass raw and agitated. bruised, welted, veins popped and skin breaking in blood. "ssh ssh, that's it. it's over now. you did so good. it's all over." suguru coos, demeanor changed instantly as he gathers you in his arms. immediately taking you towards the bathroom. they need to clean up their poor baby. "why do you even run away angel… do you not know we are the strongest?"
satoru sighs, he is still wrangled by the feeling of betrayal intertwined with the feeling of guilt for giving you so much pain, panic and trauma.
"that's okay princess… you wouldn't do it again right? tell suguru you wouldn't do it again." he asks you gently, ignoring the way your half-lidded eyes do not respond after the torture. oh you're passing out, satoru gnaws at his lip, watching you look lifeless.
it was expected, you passed out in front of suguru and satoru. and they had a long discussion whether or not it was right or wrong to subject you into something like this. "satoru, punishments are supposed to hurt." suguru reminds, while satoru nods, "not until she passes out, she even threw up…" he sighs, "but she didn't need to run, that's also true." suguru nodded. "I know, I can understand that… hurts me more than it hurts her." suguru chimes, and satoru nods. "I wouldn't be able to do it, I would've stopped when she started crying." he admits, only suguru could get firm enough to carry it throughout.
they are mixed with guilt and promise each other to be kinder, there is no way you would actually love them after this. that fleeting hope that fueled satoru's delusion was now making him restless.
the next day when you wake up, you were a completely different person, screaming from panic the moment the two men entered with breakfast, it was so evident how your fear made you cry out for help. it makes suguru tear up, because you do not look at satoru the way you look at suguru. you look like you want to die, like you would do anything to be granted death.
"angel… it's okay, it's all over. please-" suguru almost begs, and you feel like throwing up again. this time satoru takes the lead, walking towards you and hugging you. he was clearly not welcome. yet… your body couldn't help but relax a little under his warm embrace. it was only until a few hours later, that they found you in the bathroom, head bleeding… passed out. you had just excused yourself to shower. limping all the way… to inflict a pain like that, was terrifying. who said they could only instil pain and fear into you. you couldn't find blades, couldn't find anything… so you banged your head against the fucking wall instead… "is this how much you fucking hate me!" satoru screams out, checking your pulse.
"SUGURU!" he screams, and the latter comes out rushing. watching you life-less in satoru's hold. "is- is she?" suguru blinks, tears brimming in his eyes.
it was clear, satosugu could never hope to win. not when you clearly fear them more than your own death.
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futureman · 8 months
Text
a matter of time
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel can't remember the last time he took things slow and let himself feel. you give him a gentle reminder.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, late boston qz era, joel's pov, smut, porn with a twist ending, fingering, unprotected piv, creampie, slow/intimate sex, finger sucking, premature ejaculation, nostalgia, internal monologue, tess doesn't exist
word count: 2.4k
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It's been a long time.
Joel's all but forgotten what it feels like when it's this gentle. There's almost a tenderness to it, even though he doesn't know much of anything about you at all. Not your name or how you ended up here in this hellhole of a safe haven.
Nothing but the sweet, tacky taste of your 20-year-old Lip Smacker gloss and the tang of sweat and something sweeter lingering on your skin. But he's learning.
And he likes this new knowledge. Even if he never gets the chance to use it again, he'll devour it hungrily because it's a worthy distraction from the monotony of life in a quarantine zone. Day in and day out, he returns to this shitty apartment with its peeling floral wallpaper and rotting mahogany furniture—memories of a distant past that aren't his own and, yet, sting just as viscerally.
Tonight, the space hums with a different energy. Highlighted by the soft rays of the setting sun, the room's only purpose is to serve as a backdrop to you, and that alone changes everything. Your beauty, your responsiveness, as he lays you across his moth-eaten duvet is reminiscent of a different time, and he'll happily accept that reminder.
It's one of the few pieces of nostalgia that doesn't ache or eat away at him the longer he lets it in. No, you feel good. You're warm against his fingertips, soft and pliant under the path his lips follow from the sticky smear across your cheek, past the breath hitching audibly in your bared throat, down to your soaked, coarse curls.
You want him. More than that, you want to take your time with him, and he's surprised at how much he wants that, too. Trapped within these walls, what else does he have but endless, empty time? And there's nothing he'd love more than to spend it taking care of you, just like you asked him to.
He hovers above you, refusing to part his lips from your body as he urges you up the bed to rest against his pillows. They're flattened and scratchy from years of use and abuse, but they smell like him, and you like it. He can tell. The moment your hair fans across them, rich and lively in contrast, you bury your face into the fabric to breathe him in, and your body's reaction is instantaneous.
Your back arches with a heavy sigh of contentment and your legs fall apart naturally, welcoming him closer, but he waits. Reverently, he slowly leans back onto his heels to appreciate the sight in front of him, and he can't help but feel grateful. You're already glistening for him, preening under his undivided attention as your delicate fingers trail up to your breast to tweak a nipple.
As your eyelashes flutter and a gasp escapes your parted lips, his hand quickly drops to squeeze his twitching cock over his boxers and he keens, nearly doubling over at the pleasure that overcomes him. A coy, knowing smile quirks at the corners of your mouth, and he decides he needs to taste you again. Now.
He lurches forward, and you let out a surprised squeal as he licks into your mouth and commits to memory the faint taste of artificial root beer and mint on your tongue. The familiar fight for dominance he's so used to after years of quick fucks and one-night stands isn't there, and, instead, you set a languid, passionate pace that makes his head spin. It's a slow, deep caress—wet and warm and all-encompassing—and it's everything he hopes fucking you will feel like.
He's so hard it hurts. God, when was the last time he was this fucking hard? He's leaking messily through his boxers, desperate to be touched and enveloped and claimed.
And how could he not be? He's kissing the perfect woman. A patient goddess who's leading his hands across every inch of bare skin, showing him exactly how you like to be stroked and gripped, sighing encouragingly when he heeds your lessons just right.
You're one hell of a teacher, and he thinks he might just be your favorite student. He separates from you with a lewd smack and a string of saliva keeps you connected for a fleeting second before you lean up to lick it off his bottom lip. Your eyes lock with his and they're dark, almost completely consumed by desire, and it's further encouragement to continue on to his next assignment.
This one might just send him over the edge. You guide his hand down to cup your wet heat and you're drenched, dribbling and smearing slick patterns onto his sheets that he'll probably trace with his tongue while he jerks off to the thought of you long after you're gone.
Bathed in the dwindling embers of twilight, your silhouette—the plush slope of your breasts and soft curve of your belly and thighs—is cast around the room in artful shapes and shadows, and he wishes you were a permanent fixture. That your visage covered these walls instead of false depictions of growth and life. It's a dangerous train of thought, but he's too lost in the haze of your warmth and wetness to think about anything else.
He needs to feel you. He needs to fuck you.
He barely even realizes he's already slipped inside you as if he's been there all along, stroking your walls with the rough tips of his middle and ring fingers and honing in on that hidden, spongy spot with such precision, you'd think he'd done it a million times before. Thick, cording veins strain against his forearms as he tenses with the effort of keeping his thrusts long and purposeful, and he watches, captivated, as your cunt sucks him in greedily and fruitlessly tries to hold him inside you.
Tight—fuck. You're so tight. He's bucking into his unoccupied hand, jerking himself off over his boxers, and he doesn't remember when he started, but he can't stop. It feels too good...you feel too good, and the steady, simultaneous rhythm he sets for both of you isn't nearly enough.
Faster. Harder. Still so goddamn tight. He'll never be able to stretch you out enough to take him, and he's starting to worry he'll cum before he even gets the chance to try. His cock throbs violently against his palm, and he bites back a groan at the vision beneath him. Christ, how did you get here?
You can't possibly be real. Your thighs are quaking on either side of his waist and your pussy clenches dangerously hard around his scissoring fingers. There's a thin sheen of sweat matting the wispy hairs around your temples and pooling everywhere your body connects with the mattress, your searingly hot skin an addictive, sticky trap he willingly and faithfully succumbed to.
And those sounds.
You need his cock. Fucking hell, you need it. Greedy, patient, needy fucking woman. He can hear it in your soft pants and hitched breaths. You're quiet and subtle in your pleasure, so unlike any other woman he's ever been with, but when you whimper—fuck. Fuck.
He's going to give it to you. Right now, after taking the time to map and explore and discover, he's going to use his newfound knowledge to hollow you out, then fill you up until you're overflowing with him.
He slows to a stop and pulls his glistening fingers from your cunt, and there's that faint, perfect sound again. A stuttered, broken whimper that lilts with each knuckle that catches on your entrance. He sucks his ring finger into his mouth and adds your taste to his list of all-time favorites, right alongside your Barq's root beer-flavored lip gloss.
Then, he offers you his middle finger, and he swears he can feel your lips sealing tightly around his cock as you wrap them around it. You work your mouth up and down, bobbing your head eagerly like he's about to blow his load down your throat, and—
He's going to fucking cum.
With his finger still nestled between your lips, he wrenches his boxers down his thighs and lines himself up with your entrance, ignoring how close he's suddenly teetering on the edge. His balls are already taut between his legs and it worsens as he inches in his aching, neglected tip.
"S'time, beautiful," he grits out, still tender in his touch as he splays his hand across your waist to stroke your heated skin. "You ready for me?"
You nod quickly, humming your affirmation around him, and he gives you another shallow inch. He was right. No amount of preparation was going to ease the stretch. You're gripping him so hard, it almost hurts, and the thought of how tight you'll be when you cum—he feels delirious with it.
Yes. Yes. Squeeze him. Let him feel you wringing him fucking dry. Let him pump you so full of his release, you'll be dripping him for days, an intimate, lingering reminder of this night. You have no fucking idea how long he's been waiting for this, for you. He doesn't even know your name, but that doesn't matter. Right now, all that matters is this.
This deep-seated, unspoken connection. It's been a long time. And, right now, his time is up.
He slides home in one long, deep thrust, the tip of his cock tenderly nudging your cervix, and your body struggles to accept him. He lights up every nerve ending like a live wire, drags against every sensitive pressure point in perfect succession, and your walls begin to mold around him as if they recognize the sensation. Like your body's remembering him.
Sharp nails dig into his side and drag from his shoulder down to his ass, urging him closer. You're trembling beneath him, your breasts thrumming with sharp, rapid breaths akin to a hummingbird as he fucks you further up the bed, one slow thrust at a time. You're fluttering around him, a delicate spasm and, then, an indicative clench, and it forces a sob from his chest that he barely recognizes.
That's it, beautiful. It's right there. C’mon, give it to me.
He doesn't speak it aloud. He hasn't coaxed or rushed you with his words this entire night and he's not about to start now. He knows, for some inexplicable reason, that he doesn't have to.
But you do. It's barely a whisper—a single, hushed syllable that trembles and passes your lips like a plea. A prayer only he can answer.
"Joel."
Christ. He knows you.
Christ, he's cumming.
His vision whites out, and he's only vaguely aware of his tightening grip on your hips and the long, drawn-out groan that tapers into something devastatingly familiar. Your name.
Now, it's his turn to pray. He repeats it like a mantra, breathing it into your lungs as his lips crash onto yours. It's almost as if he's afraid he'll forget it again if he stops, but your body's response quickly convinces him otherwise.
You bear down on him harder, driven closer and closer to your peak each time he calls out to you, for you. You're molten hot around him, searing each letter into his skin with every pulsing clench of your cunt, and he does the same, thick spurts coating your walls.
He can't help himself. He stays deep—he knows he shouldn't, knows how dangerous the consequences could be, but he needs to—and your ankles digging painfully into his back to hold him in place wordlessly tell him you need it, too.
So good, you're so good. You're perfect. You're his. You're—
Gushing, squeezing, finally moaning for him. You’re cumming.
With it, your orgasm brings every memory of you flooding back at once. Late summer afternoons spent in bed while Sarah visited her grandma. Champagne-flavored kisses on New Year's Eve, soundtracked by Dick Clark and cheers from the crowd in Times Square filtering through the plasma TV in his living room.
He loved you. He loved this. He should've known the moment he kissed you, the moment he saw you, but he's been surviving for so long. He can't remember the last time he lived.
Your limbs surround him, pulling his entire weight down to rest on top of you, and you continue to swivel your hips into his pelvis, riding out your high as his name falls breathily from your lips. He works you through it, frantically blinking away the sudden blur that engulfs his vision so he doesn't miss out on another moment with you. Not ever again.
He's...he's crying. He didn't even know he was capable of that anymore. Sensitivity starts to set in, in more ways than one, but he doesn't want to leave the heat of your embrace. He thinks he might break at the sight of his cum leaking out of you and seeping into the undeserving fabric of his co-opted sheets, far away from where it belongs.
But, then, your lips meet his tanned, weathered cheek—a stark contrast to the young man he was when he was yours—and you kiss away his tears. He feels more fragile than he has in decades, and that's surprisingly okay. Because you're here to protect him, now.
Trailing from the apple of his cheek to his lips, up to the years of tension creasing his forehead, back down to kiss him tenderly, you establish a comforting repetition. He chases you every time you part, but, after a while, he's struck with a realization. What you've been trying to convey with your actions all night.
You always return to him. So, maybe this was just a matter of time. A slow smile spreads across that beautiful face he hadn't allowed himself to think about since the outbreak, and you huff out an affectionate laugh, your fingertips curiously running across his back and tracing raised lines and jagged shapes you've never felt before.
"Hi, Joel," you murmur fondly, still close enough for the tacky remains of your gloss to catch his bottom lip, and his tongue darts out to taste you.
It's real—it's too vivid not to be real. His eyes dart between yours, and he can still see everything your future together was supposed to hold. He still sees forever.
"Hey, baby," he rasps, his voice thick with tears and disuse, and something unidentifiable that sounds a lot like hope.
He hasn't felt this way in a long time. Not since you.
thanks for reading!
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evilminji · 9 months
Text
You know what I never see explored?
"Not on MY watch!" Superfan Dash Baxter. The young, limnal, quarterback built like a tank and willing to hit like one.
Because let's be real here. Imagine that scenario: Dash, heading to practice with his Bros. His best friends. The team. When? Oh shit! It's PHANTOM! Best day EVER right?
Except it's NOT.
Somethings wrong. He's not as graceful as he usually is. There is no clever comebacks. He looks beat up, man. What HAPPENED? Everyone looks confused when Dash looks around. But before he can call up to him?
Phantom is Shot Out Of The SKY.
Hits the football field HARD. The entire team is already running. Full sprint. It's those fucking GIW. Already driving onto the field and tearing it up. Jumping out, weapons primed.
Phantom's not... oh god, he's not getting up.
He looks hurt. Really hurt. Those bastards are closing in.
Dash's team? Has his back. They're also fans. Friends of his. Not a single one hesitates. They put their BACKS into it and welcome these sick fucks to Tackle Practice. With a follow up of "Taste Your Own Teeth". Amity special, coach would be proud.
But Dash... fuck, he can't wail on these guys AND protect Phantom at the same time. Kwan tells him to go. Throws him his keys. His car is least shit. Dash owes him SO many pizzas for this. First pick on movies for LIFE, man.
It hurts to leave his team behind. His best friend. But Dash has to GO. He can already hear the Fentons closing in. He grabs Phantom, his HERO, and runs for his life.
Barely manages to peel out of there in time. Floors it. Calls Paulina, obviously. She and Star are doing a spa day thing. She picks up because she KNOWS he wouldn't bother her if it wasn't serious. And-!
Oh...
Oh fuck.
In the rear view mirror. The Fentons and GIW just screeched onto the road behind him. Closing distance FAST. What does he do? Paulina he can't... he WON'T hand Phantom over!
And of course she understands. For God's sake, she in LOVE with the guy. He's never heard her sound so scared and furious. They'll get phantom over her twice dead body. She and Star are making some sort of noises, chanting, and...?
Giant Amazons with swords? GHOST Amazons. Suddenly in the road, jumping over his car to attack the cars behind him. Paulina what the FUCK?? She been talking to her Abuela, APPARENTLY. Who's friends aunt's "roomate" was particularly good at communicating with the dead. So OBVIOUSLY Paulina got her to send notes and studied them in secret.
Gotta be able to speak to you future husband's family in their native language. You win brownie points. Gives her a step up. "Not the point"? It's kind of a point! Giant warrior women! Who-?
Paulina made friends while practicing.
Of course she did. Why is he even REMOTELY surprised she chose the giant terrifying Amazons to be beasties with? He's know her for years. He should know better by now.
.....he feels small asking. Hates that his voice shakes. But... but what do they DO, 'Lina?
What he hates even more is the little shake in his childhood friends voice, even though she's trying to sound certain and strong. What they Do? What they DO is Dash drives his ass the her house, gets in her BETTER car, which she is going to load up, and they leave Amity.
She has LOADS of money. All sorts of jewelry. They're very last season. Frankly, she.. she can't WAIT to pawn them if they have too. They just have to drive. Get Phantom as far away from those freaks as possible. Get help.
And? It could go so many ways from there? Paulina LOVES Phantom. How will she reconcile that with her views on Fenton? How will Dash? Seperated from their roles as "the popular ones" and "the crazy people's son". Knowing that... that Danny likes her TOO.
But she's been AWFUL to him. She said so much. DID so much.
Do the even? LIKE each other? Or just the IDEA of each other? The person they made up in their heads.
They're afraid, tired, on the run. But free from school, the expectations of others, the baked in histories of a small town. Who ARE they as people? Do they like each other? COULD they?
I want to believe that Paulina really means it. That no one is at their best in middle and high school. They say and do stupid, mean, shallow shit. Because the world presses and presses and tells them it's all they are worth. Because they don't know who they ARE yet. Because she is a child. Not yet eighteen.
And Danny isn't perfect either. He saw a pretty, pretty face and got distracted by it. Didn't see how HARD she works. How smart she is. How ambitious and brilliant at reading people.
Are they trying to get to an Embassy? To Paulina's extended Family to the south, who would most certainly take them in, and would gladly fight gods for them? Or is this a crossover? Are they going towards other Heros? Older ones?
Is Paulina planning to pull a Lois Lane and Cause Problems On Purpose? Is Dash HAUNTED by "oh fuck, Wes was right." And now knows he's gonna have just... just WALK UP TO THEM. Broad ass daylight. Like "hello, I clearly know your secret identity! Please don't kill me!"?
Whatever the plan? Danny is in the back row of Paulina's once nice, now beat to hell car, bleeding irresistibly damaging acidic ecto-blood all over the seats. Wrapped up like a mummy. Texting Tucker.
The live tweets from Amity are... An Event. A Spectacle for the ages. His parents KNOW now, have speed run their grief STRAIGHT to RAGE, directed that rage at the GIW, and gone to WAR. Once a Fenton, always a Fenton. Jazz was right. "Anti-ghost" sentience testing once a week DID pay off.
Was it a pain in the ass? Absolutely. But results don't lie. He clearly passed. Is clearly sentient, emotional, and their son. All in hard numbers they ran themselves. Will it stop them attack FULL ghosts? Jazz has no idea. But it sure did convince them to put the GIW in a hole and fill it with concrete.
Danny's getting reports of "you SHOT MY BABY!" Being shouted in public. Sam has decided to channel her frustration at being unable to help him into Full Goth Dramatic Shit Stirring. Non-waterproof mascara, disheveled hair. Clutching a picture of him. Dramatic howling and weeping in the arms of her parents.
Apparently now that he's presumed DEAD, the Mansons ALWAYS loved him. Like a SON to them. A sweet, innocent child. Their daughters friend! The GIW are monsters and child killers, they decry.
And the Red Huntress is... Oh, yikes. Yeah he should call her. Val is one more bad thing happening from her villian origin story. At least she... PROBABLY... has killed anyone yet. Note to self: when Danny can actually move torso again, buy Valerie soothing anti-stress...everything. All the things. She responds to stress by punching. Deliver from safe, non-punchable distance.
All in all? My Dash? Needs more Dash! Give the popular kids a chance to prove they aren't just cardboard cut outs! That they can grow beyond the roles high-school and society has pushed them into! Give them some trauma! Why only Danny? Spread the psychic damage!
@stealingyourbones @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe
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rie-092 · 2 months
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CHILDHOOD FRIEND
✶﹒ yandere! kim raebin x childhood friend! reader
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honestly, i can't see kim raebin getting close to a woman who is completely stranger to him. so, let's just say that you were the daughter of their neighbour who is also his childhood friend.
we all know how introverted kim raebin was, so you had a hard time on getting close with him. because he always avoids you, or if you ever found a perfect time to talk to him, he always hisses making you blink. because for someone who looks like a bunny, kim raebin sure acts like a cat around you.
but wanna know how the two of you got close to each other? it's simple. it's because kim raebin accidentally saw you playing a guitar at a school event back when the two of you were in third grade. and boy, he was overjoyed! because this was the first time that he saw someone interested in music just like him!
at first, kim raebin was really shy when the two of you played or rather spent time together while playing various music instruments or making songs. but expect that after that, he would be so clingy. clingy to the point that he would follow you around like a damn puppy. at first, you thought that it was cute— not until you knew that he started stalking you around when you didn't hangout with him for a few days because you were too busy with school works.
what did you do? of course, you confronted him. but look, even though kim raebin has a problem when it comes on socializing with other people. it wasn't the same with you, because this guy knew everything about you. from your likes and dislikes, your habits, hell, even your measurements! that was the main reason why he easily changed the flow of the argument. he easily made you think that you are the one who's imagining that he was stalking you just because you missed hanging out with him, damn this smart guy.
kim raebin is so damn good when it comes to manipulating you into thinking that you were always the wrong one. forcing you to hang out with him without you thinking that he is actually forcing you. but, don't worry because kim raebin will never hurt you, he swear.
that's why when you heard that he got scouted on a certain entertainment company. you were overjoyed about this. because raebin will finally be able to achieve his dream and of course, you will be able to escape his clutches.
but, boy! kim raebin is a smart guy. because a year after kim raebin became a trainee, you got scouted too, by the same company that scouted kim raebin. how did that happen? you have no fucking idea. the only thing that they said is that they liked the song that you sent to them when you didn't actually send them one of your pieces. but who in the hell did sent it to them? you couldn't helped but to wonder. of course, it was a certain black-haired bunny who was overjoyed when he saw you confusedly stepped onto the company. and kim raebin— along with cha eugene who pestered raebin to introduce him to you welcomed you with the usual excited expression of his.
fast forward, when raebin debuted on testar, you also debuted and became the main vocalist, main rapper and lead dancer of your group. raebin liked the fact that everyone shipped the two of you. when does it start again? when you and raebin got invited to a certain variety show where the two kpop artists got partnered with each other and do certain tasks to see how compatible they were with each other. and seeing how the two of you easily do those tasks without even getting shy with each other, the host couldn't help but to ask the reason behind it. and when the two of you said that you were childhood friends. the internet got into chaos, fuck, childhood friends? everyone loves that kind of trope!
and now, he can visit you anytime he wants. seeing you and him eating together? it's fine, you were childhood friends after all! but seeing you getting partnered with a kpop artist who is not raebin? expect that everyone will criticize that idol because of that.
and raebin was satisfied with what was happening. he loved the fact that he was able to tie you down with him without you realizing it. it's fine even if you get into a secret relationship with other famous people. because once that was discovered by the public. he just needs to act pitiful and his and your fans will do the work to force you break up with whoever that guy was.
look, he likes you. he respects your decisions and choices but seeing you with other people makes his skin crawl. so, can you stay with him and do him a favour just like the old days, will you? because if you do that, he will gladly remain still and take care of you and protect your career.
“ i'm doing you a favour, you're just too irrational to see that right now, (first name).”
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mariasont · 2 months
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Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - S.R
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a/n: im so sorry in advance
masterlist
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: spencer reid x reader
summary: in which spencer needed you but he needed drugs more
warnings: drug use, angst, imperfect characters
wc: 2.9k
December 19th, 2021
You were tired, each movement a chore as you fumbled with the key and heaved the door open to your shared apartment. It welcomed you with its hushed darkness, broken only by the intrusive light of the streetlamps outside, which bled through the windows and stretched shadows across the room.
It was quiet, too quiet. Keys clinked quickly onto the counter. "Spence? Are you here?"
No answer. Your brows contracted in a frown as you moved with increased urgency through the apartment, heading down the hall to your shared bedroom. There he was, on the bed, his back to you, shoulders tensed and drawn up as though bracing against something.
At the creak of the door, he turned towards you in a slow motion, his eyes glossed over, movements sluggish. The signs were unmistakable--the ghostly colorlessness draped over his skin, the faint tremor in his hands, the beads of sweat on his forehead.
His speech was slurred whether he realized it or not, words melding into each other. "Hey... I didn't hear you come in."
A cold hand gripped at your heart, dragging it down to the soles of your feet, as the vial on the bedside table glared back at you.
"Spencer, you promised," your words trailed off, choked by the tears that now glistened at the edge of your eyes, your hand dragging through your hair, while the other reached out for the bottle. "You promised me."
His gaze lingered on you, heavy and slow, as if each movement you made was effortful to follow. "I...I know. I just...I tried."
"But we've been doing so well. The therapy sessions, the support groups. I thought it was helping. You told me it was helping. You've been clean for a month."
You were trembling, your eyes searching his, but you could barely stand to look at him. It was a bitter pill that you didn't want to swallow--that the person he was right now wasn't him. It wasn't the man you loved, the one who stayed up late to braid your hair, the man who laughed at your jokes even when they weren't funny and he didn't understand them, the man you envisioned as the father of your children.
"What happened?"
"I didn't mean to."
June 2nd, 2021
You were humming to yourself, the melody trailing off as you placed your bag down, but your steps towards the refrigerator halted by the unexpected clatter from the bathroom. You froze in the spot—Spencer should be at work. Your heart was pounding, with a boyfriend who did what he did for a living you were always prepared for the worst.
Your hand found the pepper spray in your bag as you inched forward, the distance to the bathroom shrinking with each pulse of your racing heart. The door was barely open, but the sliver of view revealed Spencer, syringe clutched tightly, his damning evidence, desperation drawn across his face.
"Spencer? What are you doing?"
Shock rooted you to the spot, watching him spin around--a ghost of himself, eyes alarmingly wide and bloodshot, as he furtively tucked the syringe out of sight.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Your body reacts before your mind can, pulling away sharply from the venom in his voice. It's a voice you don't recognize. He didn't even speak to you like that during arguments. Confusion clouds your mind as you retreat, one cautious step after another.
"I...I forgot my lunch. I came home to grab it. Spencer, are you okay? What was that?"
His face crumbled, his hand outstretched in a silent plea, but you, still trembling with apprehension, still unsure, took another step back, your gut twisting at the way hurt reflected in his gaze.
"I can't—it's not what it looks like, okay?"
"But it is, isn't it?" Your hands are clasped behind you, knuckles white, eyes searching his face for something, anything. "It's exactly what it looks like. You're using."
His shoulders sag, his hand reaching behind him to stable himself on the counter as he ran a hand over his face. You were well-acquainted with his past; though you hadn't been there, his stories painted a hauntingly clear picture. If the man responsible wasn't already dead, you'd take him out with your own bare hands. 
"But Spencer it's been eight years... what? I just, why now?"
He gave you no response, just the slow, defeated bob of his head, chin sinking to his chest. You released a weary breath, the act itself a release of the pain that tightened around your heart at the sight of him. You closed the distance between you, your hands reaching out, fingers aching to weave through the strands of his hair.
"Hey, look at me, it's okay. We can get you help, okay? Everything's going to be fine, baby."
"No!" His voice erupted, too forceful, but it faded as fast as it came, his words turning to a raw scratch. "No, no... 'M sorry, sweetheart. I can't let this get out. I could lose my job."
Tears carved a path down your cheeks, unchecked, as you held his gaze, hands fastened around his arms.
"Spencer, I don't care about your job right now. I care about you," you plead with him, your fingers slipping between his. "You need help."
"You wouldn't get it, okay?" he murmured, his curls tumbling forward as his hands left yours to gently cup your face. His hands were cold. "Just give me some time to handle it. I'll stop, okay? I can stop."
You were silent, the lack of experience of the situation paralyzing your thoughts, rendering you unsure. How were you supposed to go about this? Who could you tell? You knew the consequences of telling Hotch or even Morgan, knew the depression that would follow if Spencer lost his job. You wanted to believe him; you really did.
"Okay."
December 19th, 2021
"Okay, let's do rehab."
Spencer stands from the bed, invading your space, his voice rising with a sharp edge that was reserved for moments like this. "I'm not letting you ship me away to some facility."
"Spencer, it's not shipping you away, it's getting you help, real help. I gave you a chance, okay? Multiple, actually. I did what you asked. I did everything you asked, please baby."
With each step he took, his actions grew increasingly erratic, and his words more fragmented, as he raked his fingers through his tousled hair. "You don't understand! I watched my mom, her experience with those places... I won't end up like that."
You lowered your voice, infusing it with a softness as you extended your hand towards him, only for him to dismissively shake off your touch. "Please, you're not yourself. You are so much more than this... than what it's making you."
"You don't think I know that? You think I want this?"
You took a step back, an action that had become second nature to you.
"I know. Spence, I know. Please, I'm on your side. I'm always going to be on your side," you pleaded. Your words were desperate. "I just need you to fight, and sometimes fighting is accepting that you need help."
The eyes that had once held such clarity and focus, now seemed distant, looking through you rather than at you. His words a blurred murmur. "I can stop. I just need time... I can handle it."
The familiarity of the words seemed to hit you like a truck, robbing the breath out of your lungs, tears and snot trickling down your face.
"How much time, Spence? How many more chances? I can't watch the man I love disappear before my eyes, please."
August 12th, 2021
Your back throbbed with a dull ache from a day of cleaning, but the task, weirdly enough, was one of your favorite things to do. Your fingers drummed against the wood as you started to put away Spencer's laundry, only to be interrupted by the unexpected feel of something cold and hard in the drawer. You knew it before you saw it. Inside, a collection of vials lay in a row, mocking you. 
Your heart plummeted, fingers curling around the vials, the chill of the glass seeming to seep into your skin. You felt a scream clawing at your throat and tears brimming your eyes, but your voice was trapped in silence. Each step was fueled by anger as you made your way to the bathroom. The toilet bowl gaped at you, and without hesitation, you flung the drugs into the water, freezing mid-action as the front door opened. 
Footsteps—his footsteps—echoed as if he had a sixth sense. "What the hell are you doing?"
You reached for the flush, only for his hand to encase yours in a startling grip, your eyes flaring wide as you tore your hand back. "Let go of me."
"You have no right."
"Yeah, Spencer? I have no right?" You hiss, shoving him just enough to carve out some distance. You couldn't breathe. "Why do you still have this? You told me you stopped."
You watched as he crumbled before you, tears prickling at his eyes. Each breath you took was unsteady, but your actions were certain as you pressed him into you, as close as humanly possible. Desperation clawed at you; you wanted this to stop. You wanted to take his pain, to make it yours, you'd do anything.
"'M sorry," he choked out, barely audible, his hand cradling the back of your head while the other clung to your waist. "I'm so sorry."
December 19th, 2021
"So, I'm the one at fault?"
"That's not what I'm saying—,"
Neither of you were making sense now; his confusion mirrored your own, and both of you knew this. You were angry, he was angry, both of you a well of grief, feeling everything and nothing simultaneously. 
"Well, it sure sounds like it Spencer."
"I just need...space."
The words bit you on the ass, prompting a hollow laugh to rise from your throat--a sound that bore a closer resemblance to a mangled sob than anything.
"Space? You don't get space, Spencer." Your words didn't sound like yourself, like you were listening to someone else speak them. 
May 23rd, 2019
You were sweet. It was what had first drawn Spencer to you, the way you radiated a warmth that was almost overwhelming to everyone. You were the kind of person who never met a stranger, nurtured by your innate effort to go out of your way to put a smile on people's faces.
There you stood, delicately snipping away at a bouquet's ends, a soft hum escaping your lips, with blue headphones nestled over your ears, isolating you in a peaceful bubble as you worked. You hadn't seen him approach, frankly, hadn't heard him either, so when you chanced a glance upwards, his unexpected figure prompted a yelp, sending the flowers tumbling to the ground in a colorful cascade.
In a clumsy rush, your headphones were swept off, a stream of apologies tumbling from your lips as you absorbed the sight of him. Short brown hair that framed a face with eyes so stunningly brown they shimmered like molten gold in the light, and he was impeccably dressed in a grey blazer over a rich red sweater, with a crocked tie and white dress shirt underneath. 
You thought he'd have to be dying of heat, but he didn't show it.
"Sorry," he murmured, a toothless smile spreading wide across his face as he dipped his head for a closer glimpse of you.
Under the weight of his gaze, you felt a sudden surge of self-awareness, regretting not putting a little more effort into your appearance that morning.
"No, that's my bad, I should really try and pay attention to my surroundings more often."
He gave you another smile in response and that one nearly killed you, teeth and all, and it was so disarmingly handsome it felt like a bolt of lightning had struck, almost knocking the wind out of you. 
You were seized by the kind of overwhelming yearning you'd only seem in those cheesy romance movies. You wanted to ask him out, but that was a first for you, so you found yourself blatantly ogling him, utterly transfixed.
"Do you work here?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Sorry, how can I help you?"
"Do you have any bouquets with Lathyrus odoratus?" he asked, eyes roving among the arrangements. "They're a member of the Facabeae family. Interestingly, they have the unique capability to convert atmospheric nitrogen into a more usable form through nitrogen fixation."
You gave him a lopsided smile. "Do you just know that?"
"Uh, yeah."
You hummed in response, fingers tapping the counter before moving between aisles to find what he was looking for. "These?"
"Perfect," he said with a nod.
As you assembled the bouquet, your hands moved nimbly, and you couldn't help but steal a glance at his left hand--no ring in sight, a promising detail. But he was buying flowers, that couldn't be a good sign for you.
"Your girlfriend will be ecstatic with these beauties."
You thought you were being slick, but he'd later tell you he saw right through you, I mean, of course he did.
"Oh, no, no girlfriend," he clarified, almost too quickly, sending a flutter through you heart. You concealed your budding smile by bowing your head, giving the bouquet your full attention. "They're for my mother."
You practically melted. "That's so sweet..." 
You lingered on the words, feigning the need to ask for his name, it was a stretch, sure, you didn't really need his name in this context.
"Spencer. Spencer Reid."
You returned your name with a beaming smile. "Well, it's wonderful to meet you, Spencer Reid."
You presented him with the completed bouquet, ringing him up while discreetly stealing glances his way.
"Thanks."
"Yeah, anytime."
He came back every week after that.
December 19th, 2021
"You're not the person I fell in love with."
Now that stung. You felt like he had just knocked you on your ass and he hadn't laid a hand on you. Mostly because he was right. You weren't. 
You were on edge more than not, your patience wearing thin more than you'd like to acknowledge, and you couldn't remember the last time you had flirted with Spencer like you used to. You couldn't remember the last time you begged for him to come to bed just to feel his arms around you, couldn't remember the last time he'd come home early just to see you, the last time you'd had sex.
You used to be so happy. You used to surprise Spencer with his favorite homemade cookies, leave hand drawn comics on his desk, carefully adjust his tie every morning, listen so intently to every lengthy explanation he had for everything.
You wanted to blame him, wanted to scream, to fight, to kick, but your body refused to cooperate. You were cemented in place, your stare heavy, silently begging him to take it all back, but the words hung in the air, unrevoked.
"You're right." A softness flickered in his eyes, his hand moving forward, but you stepped back. "Don't touch me."
"I didn't mean that—,"
"You meant it, or you wouldn't have said it," you said, your voice cracking as tears stained your face. "I can't keep doing this, Spencer. I've tried, god knows how much I've tried, but it's like you're not even here. I don't recognize my own reflection, let alone us. I love you, Spencer, with a love so deep it fucking scares me, but I can't stand by and watch you kill yourself."
April 23rd, 2024
"One sec!"
The bell over the door jingled, prompting you to snap the inventory boxes closed, nudging them back with your hip as you maneuvered through the storefront, balancing the boxes towards the desk. 
"Here let me help!"
The boxes obscured your view, but a hand with neatly polished nails gracefully relieved you of one, placing it gently on the ground.
You let out a light laugh, easing your own box to the floor. "Thanks, I somehow always underestimate the weight of soil."
The woman was breathtaking, the kind that could make you second-guess the fairness of fate. She seemed more suited to the glossy pages of a fashion magazine than the worn-down, way overdue for a deep clean, flower shop.
"How can I help you?"
"Just a dozen roses, please."
You offered her a brief nod, reaching for one of the pre-arranged roses from the shelf behind you and placing it down on the counter.
"Could you leave a note?" she asked, her glittering finger lightly pressing against the fabric of her dress. Now that was a rock.
"Of course," you say, your hand deftly sliding open the drawer beneath you to retrieve a card. "Just let me know what you want it to say."
As she spoke, your pen hurried to keep pace. "A year of marriage and a lifetime to go."
You flashed her a warm smile. "Congratulations. Who should I make it out to?"
"Spencer. Spencer Reid."
Nausea churned in your gut, somersaulting into a sharp, searing sting. This must be some cruel joke. But the date wasn't April 1st, and the woman's serious expression stripped away any hope of humor. 
You swallowed hard, writing the name of the man you'd thought would be your husband. While ringing her up, you did everything in your power to conceal the tremble in your hand and the tears that were just moments away from falling. He hated roses.
Your eyes followed her as she left, watching her every step to the car and out of the parking lot, until she was just a speck in the distance. The realization hit you like another wave of nausea--why could he get clean for her and not you?
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koishua · 2 months
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★. 𝐄𝐍— and the orange peel theory.
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! © 𝗞𝗢𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗨𝗔 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰, 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗗.
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starring hee, jay, jake. + their version of the orange peel theory
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━━━━━━━━━━━ 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆
he doesn't think anything of it when he snaps your chopsticks in two for you from where he is positioned across you. the plastic chairs in front of the convenience store upon which you're seated on aren't the most comfortable, the sharp edges digging into your skin on occasions when you fidget around trying to find a way to strike up a conversation with the man you can't bare to label as your friend now.
the bamboo sticks now rest on top of the lid of your bowl of instant ramen, currently waiting to be fully cooked within the three minute time frame the instructions had given you. you notice how they hadn't split equally, one having snapped away a small portion of the other side with it. the irony of it all feels comical when you detach yourself from the situation you're currently trying not to run away from.
heeseung doesn't say much as you hesitantly take the broken utensil. he can only pretend to awkwardly observe the engravings in the table, occasionally glancing at the dainty chain of the necklace hiding under your collar. it had been his fingers to graze against the skin of your neck to clasp it together for you. he wonders what hurts more; remembering, or having to force himself to forget about it all?
━━━━━━━━━━━ 𝐉𝐀𝐘
the house is quiet, had been for hours now, except for your frantic breaths and hurried stomps while darting from room to room, trying to find your bearings as the time ticks by much too quickly for your liking. the alarms you'd set for your lecture hadn't rung (they had, actually— no one would dare to disagree, however), which had naturally resulted in you running late for it yet again.
your lips lift lopsidedly moments after the neatly framed picture of the happiest moment of your life catches your eye as you try to put on the stubborn socks you'd fished out from the drawer on your side of the bed. jay had always been beautiful, even back when he still had that boyish smirk constantly plastered over his face, hair a mess.
you make a mental note to wipe away the dust that had started to form a thin sheet over the wooden frame, though that too is quickly forgotten when you realize that he'd very kindly filled up your bottle with water and placed it next to the most comfortable shoes you owned he'd laid nearly on the floor by the door, certain of your forgetful habits.
━━━━━━━━━━━ 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄
layla's tail wags excitedly at the sight of the treat in your hands that you leave for her to enjoy. smoothing over the gingham sheet before laying back on the lap of your favourite person in this universe and the next, from where you look up at him, the sun blazing in the sky makes it look like he's emitting a heavenly glow. fitting for someone like sim jake.
days like this don't come by often for either of you, so having you right by him, the weather as beautiful as it could ever get. this is what he'd describe heaven to feel like. every part of his body beats with the insatiable desire to always have you as close to him as possible, day and night.
the cool breeze is a constant visitor to your little spot by the beach, a welcome addition to the already magical day. realising that he'd gotten lost in his thoughts, he looks down at your serene expression, off somewhere in dreamland, most likely. his thumb gently traces under your eyes, a ghostly touch afraid of waking you up from your deserved rest. he unclips the hair accessories he can see tugging and digging into your skin before adjusting the shade to cover your eyes.
this is his dreamland.
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notes from vie: couldn't help it with the hee angst y'all im sorry it's a koishua must. it was very mild tho so yeah enjoy please i haven't exercised my enha writing skills in ages and as always pls reblog muah muah ignore any errors i haven't got the energy to correct them myself 🍊🍊
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bambi-slxt · 29 days
Text
subby!chris:
✨a very very long concept✨
quiet and collected in public. no one has any idea his cock is suffocating in his pants every time you brush his arm.
he holds your hand tightly in the Uber home.
"somethin' wrong?"
"...no ma'am."
"you sure?"
you trail your fingertips along his thigh and he twitches.
his lips part on an exhale, blue eyes locked on yours like you're the only thing keeping him alive.
"please, ma..."
streetlights fade behind you, flashing across the car window.
when you get home, chris is no better than a man starved.
he closes the door and guides you against the wall, not domineeringly, but desperately, softly, like your body is his prayer and the wall at your back is the ear of god.
"please," he says again, trailing his hands down your body as he sinks to his knees, "ill starve if i can't taste ya."
a nod from you is all it takes, and chris is done for.
he shoves his nose between your thighs, his heavy, panting breath warm against your core.
chris's fingertips hook around the hemmed edges of your panties and he slips them down, gingerly helping you step out of them.
he looks at the fabric in hand for a moment before touching it to his cheek, his eyes closed and lips parted.
a dribble of pre-cum begins to stain his already-dark pants - he can't help it.
you lift your thigh to his shoulder, shivering as the ends of his curled hair fan against your skin.
"i need you, mamas," chris whispers, his voice sending tremors from your stomach to your clit.
"how bad?"
with an almost primal noise, he wastes no time and buries his face into you.
chris's tongue separates your folds, already slick with pleasure.
he flattens it against your entrance and tightens the muscles within it, moving up to your clit until only the tip of his merciless tongue is touching you.
that wouldn't do.
you reach down and yank his skull into you, to which he responds with a groan.
chris laps at your pussy, paying special attention to the divide righr below your clit.
the noises are lewd at best and pornographic at, well, better.
you feel suction and gasp at the sensation - he's drinking from you. you feel his throat bob on your thigh as he swallows you one, twice, four times, seven, all the while, his hands steady on your hips.
his tongue plunged into you as his nose bumps softly against your nub. electricity crackles up through your body, and your thigh clenched around him.
chris welcomes it, trying to shove himself further and further into you, tugging your pelvis impossibly close to his face.
in all the excitement you didn't notice what his pelvis was up to.
as he drank the mounting pleasure from your body, chris's hips had begun to rock back and forth over nothing, his rock-solid cock begging for friction against something, anything.
the image made you see white, and with a spiraling whimper, you creamed in his mouth.
"hhnngfuck," he mumbles sloppily, positively slurping you clean. his jaw aches but he doesn't care. "more. more."
you grind your clit against him, fingers fisted in his hair, his groans and panting breaths swallowed up by your body in an effort to get closer to you.
suddenly, chris cries out. concerned, though reeling, you lean back to check on him, only to see his crotch shivering and twitching, the dark evidence of his lust painting the inside of his boxers.
his moans and whines would be pathetic if it wasn't so...reverent.
chris kept his eyes open, staring up at you with creased brows, panting lips, his tongue even lolling out of his mouth, rutting quickly into his palm, not even bothering to strip.
"you're gonna cum just from eating box?"
he nods with a strangled whimper, still spurting white into his pants.
"say it."
"i-i'm c-cuhhh..." he pants out, shoving his other hand down quickly to open his fly.
"say it."
"i'm cummmmfucki'm cumming fr-fr-shit-"
more noises of desperation as he yanks his squirting cock free from the confines of his clothes.
you wrap your hand around his throat, not tight enough to hurt him, just firm enough to hold him.
"i will not ask you again."
chris fell on his back now, spread on the floor, pumping his cock like he'd just fallen into heat. the hand around his shaft became the fingers around his tip as he stuttered out, "i'm gonna cum from eating you out, ma-FUCK!"
ropes of his desperation spray across his stomach as he fingers the head of his manhood, his own head thrown back in humiliation and ecstasy.
he paints his torso, holding eye contact with you once more.
"hhhh..." chris breathes out, rolling to the side, his seed spent, his cock still twitching and dribbling in an effort to breed the nothingness that surrounded it. "ohhh god..."
"you're such a good boy, sweetheart," you say, sinking down to sit next to him and pressing a gentle, quite loving kiss to his temple.
"thanks...holy shit..."
you can't help but giggle. "come on, big man, let's go shower."
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house-of-daena · 9 months
Text
my doctor is a succubus!? [succubus.afab.baizhu x m.reader]
contents: he/him pronouns, subtop reader/powerbottom baizhu, nsfw, s3x with a LOT of feelings, virgin reader, overstimulation, praise, degradation, vanilla-ish, creampie, blood, fem genitalia/anatomy terms w/ baizhu (pvssy, cvnt, womb), mention of top surgery scars, ooc baizhu(? he's just really inlove w/ you), hurt/comfort, tell me if i miss anything. [wc. 5.2k]
꒰ GRAHHHHH finally able to post this... after 2-3 weeks posting the masterlist im . i can't with myself 😭 so sorry it took so long and im extra sorry it came out with this monstrosity. i very much like this imo buuttt i can't say the same for you guys. anyways, i probably wont write smth like this ever again unless y'all end up liking it!! (also this was supposed to celebrate 600-700 followers but uh. oops! ty for 800!) ꒱
let's fuck monsters tonight!
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it was always peaceful at night. crickets chirping into the cool hours of darkness, fireflies lighting up as they flew, like the stars above the clouds, and the silent crashing of waves against the shore.
no soul could be seen wandering in the streets of liyue, except for some mililith patrolling to keep the city safe. but something lurked in the shadows...
something sinister.
hungry.
lustful.
he crept from house to house, looking for the perfect prey to feed on. he searched desperately, the hunger that had been ignored for treacherous years, leaving his monstrous instincts salivating and wild. the pain of starvation he brings himself to, in fear of hurting others, has weakened him, but his hunt didn't cease for a moment. it made him crave it, the essence of someone who could fulfill his devilish needs, and the warmth his insides long yearned for.
the mark on his pelvis had gone dull, and it ached more with each passing day.
baizhu usually relied on medicine he had made for himself. to keep his salacious desires at bay, and though it wasn't much of the real deal, it managed to keep his body relatively healthy without the base nutrients it required for his succubus blood, and it truly helped him for the longest time.
but it has been years since he had feasted on someone's precious essence, and baizhu has diligently refused to feed again. while his nature is uncouth, his heart remains pure, and he worries that if he tries to feed again, he will hurt them, despite hurting himself.
but this time, his hunger was different.
it was an ardent need. essential. his body reacted so negatively, rendering him unable to properly work for days. it was clear that his body was demanding him to go and hunt for food, so it could sustain itself properly. perhaps after feeding once, he could go back to his regular intake of pills.
for now, he searched for a feast.
and, indeed, he found it, inside a familiar house.
your home,
and you were sleeping inside your bedroom,
a succubus' meal.
if he were to do it with anyone, it would be you, as much as he didn't want to.
you were a sweet man, always visiting him and qiqi in bubu pharmacy and offering a hand whenever you were free. you get along with just about everyone in the pharmacy; being old friends with gui, helping qiqi with deliveries—even changsheng has taken a liking to you, slithering onto your arm when you step behind the counter with baizhu, giving you a warm welcome.
he can't help but find himself falling for such a man like you.
and he absolutely hates the fact that the only person he'd feel safe within such a vulnerable state is you. he could kill you, and he would never forgive himself if he got carried away.
you were too precious to him. but he was starving.
it greatly intensified once he took a step inside your room, almost salivating the moment he inhaled your scent. archons, he smelt you everywhere, it was almost suffocating. and he had never smelt something so divine, so pungent, he was slightly aware of how his thoughts were slowly getting muddled—he admired you as you slept, chest steadily rose and fell, soft snores from your parted lips. you looked so peaceful, and yet here he was, hovering above your unsuspecting form, biting his bottom lip and his hands trembling as he held back from touching you so soon.
you began to stir on your bed when baizhu turned off your lamp, a faint hiss that was dangerously close to your ear made you blearily open your eyes in the dead of night, the weight of your bed shifting to one side more as you felt something move right beside you.
quickly, you jolt from your bed, startled at the man beside you. a scream almost leaves your lips when he leans towards you, face inches apart, his hot breath hitting your skin. "don't worry," he murmurs, voice silky smooth, so sultry it made your skin crawl, cheeks flushed as he moves even closer to you. "i won't hurt you, i just... need some help, is all."
the man before you reassures, his cool fingertips tracing your jawline, sharpened nails digging slightly into your skin. baizhu knows that if he suggests that he needs help, even though he was a stranger breaking into your home, you'd assist him. perhaps the charm he was using in his voice also helped, considering your eyes have easily succumbed to his mesmerizing haze of seduction.
all it took for him was to speak with his voice in a low, alluring tone, press his lithe, and smooth body against yours, allowing your hands to glide onto the skin of his exposed belly and touch you like he owns you—teasing you with assurances of bliss, only to pull away. like bait attached to a string, luring you into his possessive hands.
baizhu almost lost himself in his desire for you, his heart pounding and the mark on his womb ached more than ever before. he craved to have you inside him, nearly jumping on you and just taking you then and there.
but gods, baizhu's love for you was the only thing that was holding him back, so he settled on peppering wet kisses on your quivering adam's apple, his hand rubbing your thigh. "you'll help me, right?" he hums, golden irises glowing faintly in the dark. he sees you squint as if you're trying to discern who he is—he was probably oddly familiar to you, considering his voice and the shape of his body were similar to the kindhearted doctor from the local pharmacy not too far away from your home...
your thoughts were chased away when his forked tongue flickered against your lips, suddenly aware of his... unnatural features. slitted, but gorgeous golden eyes, scales on certain parts of his skin, small horns, akin to bumps, that protruded from his forehead, a tail with a heart-shaped tip, and fangs that made your heart lurch at both fear and excitement.
"i've been starving for an awfully long time..." he whispers into your ear, his hand slowly creeping inside your shirt and card his nails onto your stomach, soliciting a small whimper from your throat. baizhu almost moans in delight at the wonderful sound. "you'll feed me, right? let me regain my strength?"
slowly, you nod, hand resting on his shoulder. "y-yeah," you manage to say, still trying to make out any of his features in the dark. "i can cook you something real quick-"
"oh no, you're quite mistaken." he purrs, licking his lips as his hand begins to lower itself down to your crotch. "you see, darling, i'm a succubus." he hears your breath hitch at his confession, his lips brushing against yours as he pins you against the headboard, straddling your lap. strands of his hair fall to your face, your hands feel as if it belongs on his slender waist as you grab hold of it, his eyes gleam brightly with lust as he looks down at you and lifts your chin to stare back into his bewitching face. "i'll need a different kind of sustenance...~"
even in the dark, you can tell that he is absolutely gorgeous as if the gods themselves carved him into existence. your grip tightens, so much so that your nails leave crescent-shaped indents.
baizhu was experiencing absolute heaven, and the both of you were still fully clothed. his heart was beating so hard against his chest that he was afraid you could feel it if he pressed his body against yours. he was smiling ear to ear in excitement, and he fought hard to hold back. his body was in a love-struck frenzy, skin hot to the touch and his cheeks flaming red, his tail flicking back and forth.
oh, he never would've expected to have you like this so soon. underneath him, looking up at him with those lovely eyes, lost, but still so eager to help. if you only knew the things you do to him...
he could see your hesitance, probably thinking about the risks of indulging in a succubus' request. it was understandable, honestly, even though baizhu was in complete control of his body, he could still put your life at risk. after all, he hasn't eaten in years.
"you won't die," he murmurs almost too sweetly, his voice making your poor, charmed mind buzz pleasantly. "that's a promise~" thankfully, you could still make coherent thoughts, shooting him a serious look, hands curiously tracing the sensitive mark on his pelvis that glowed in the dark. he hums at the feeling of your fingers, gently pressing and kneading, yet it burned ferociously with ardent need. gods, his body needed you now.
"if you say so...." you whisper back, nervous, "i put my trust in you, if it meant helping you..."
so as soon as those words left your lips, baizhu grabbed you by the collar and smashed your lips together, kissing you so hard that it felt like he was devouring you. teeth clashed against each other, his fangs sank onto the fragile skin of your bottom lip, making it bleed, and he sucks on your tongue, kissing and practically taking all the air out of your lungs.
baizhu was ecstatic, swallowing the lavish taste of your blood, drinking in all the whimpers and moans you make just from the addicting kiss. your hands were now on his ass, guiding his body and grinding his crotch onto your hardening cock. when he pulls away, he pants, moving his hips languidly to meet your thrusts, absolutely enamored at the string of saliva that connected the two of you.
"you shouldn't trust so easily," baizhu warns, cradling your head into his arms, his kisses never ceasing, making sure to attach his lips to every inch of your skin. he wants to savor every single second he spends with you, loving your body, getting a taste of something so sacred, you, that he would surely grow to yearn once this is all over. "if it were another succubus, you might not be treated as nicely as i have~"
his voice put you in a hypnotic trance, eyes trailing down his body as your hands moved on their own, stripping him bare from his clothing. fingers, featherlight and delicate, trailed the scars that adorned his chest, the tantalizing feeling of your hot breath on his nipple while your hand pinched and flicked his other. "there's just... something so familiar about you." you murmur against his skin, pressing the pad of your wet and hot tongue against his perky bud, making baizhu let out a pleased sigh, hand grabbing the back of your head. your mind was clouded with his drowning lust to recognize him, but still awake enough to think. "you know me, and... i know you."
baizhu felt his heart drop, the urge to run away and find someone else to feed him gnawed at his stomach. he would rather starve than let himself be known to you; him, a succubus, seducing you to do his bidding. baizhu longed to have you in his bed, to make love to you and have you all for himself, to call you his, and call himself yours. just—not like this!
and as if you could sense his inner turmoil, you gently turned your bodies, laying him down on your bed. you kissed the tip of his nose, down to the apple of his cheeks, the corners of his bloodied lips, and onto his chin. you kissed him like he was a masterpiece to be worshipped, hands stroking his supple skin. he could see the admiration in your eyes, sparkling from the slightest of light the moon provided that seeped through your curtains.
and while baizhu couldn't tell if it was all because of his hypnotizing charm, his heart skipped a beat.
then, you grab his hand, lips brushing against his knuckles and kissing the callouses that graced his fingertips. "i feel safe, for some reason." you continued, leaning back to take off your clothes. "like we have met before, and you are company i enjoy myself a lot with... isn't that weird, stranger?"
baizhu could hear the slight recognition in your voice, but his initial fear was forgotten when he felt your cock pressed against his thigh. his body immediately reacted to your warmth, moving his hips to feel more of you, against his desperate, aching hole. stars above, it is so much bigger than he anticipated, your drooling tip smearing pre all over this thigh, and baizhu gulps at the groans that rumble from your chest.
it hurt to have you so close, yet so far, so empty despite the promise of being filled. still, baizhu managed to find his voice to reply. "o-oh, certainly. i am a succubus after all," he tried to regain the flair in his tone, to keep you enraptured to his hidden beauty, delude you into thinking that he wasn't the same man you thought he was, "a demon, monster."
though it was dark, baizhu saw your lips curve downward, frowning at his harsh words. your hands slid from his waist, down to the back of his thighs, squeezing the flesh, before parting his legs and letting him wrap them around your waist, keeping the two of you connected until the succubus that lays before your bed decided he had enough.
you were completely at his mercy, and it made you impossibly harder.
gently, as if he was your lover, you pushed back a strand of his hair behind his pointed ear, fingers lingering on the shape of his concealed, yet beautiful face. "don't speak to yourself like that," you kiss his collarbones, and feel him squeeze you between his legs a little tighter, pulling you closer to him, "it breaks my heart."
"does it now?" baizhu quips, sharp, quick, defensive, and disbelieving. "you don't even know me."
"you still have feelings, don't you?"
baizhu's heart can't take it. it feels so full, about to explode, despite the agonizing emptiness of his hole, thighs quivering and hands clinging onto you. he feels breathless, heartbeat in his throat—you're treating him how you'd treat baizhu, the caring doctor of bubu pharmacy, not the succubus trying to get you to fuck him. you don't know who he was, he was certain of it.
but perhaps he was just in denial, too afraid to let someone as good as you be so close to him. you are deserving of more, someone who can be devoted to you, as much as you are to him. he can't bear the thought of you leaving him once he has taken grasp of immortality, growing old without him as he lives on. nor the burden you'll surely carry with him.
that is why he has never made a single move to you, nor acknowledged yours. he adores you from afar, breaking his own heart by keeping himself close to you despite knowing he can never be with you—his mission won't allow it. he can't let it happen.
but oh, when you hold him so tenderly in your arms, caressing his cheeks with your thumb and kissing him so sweetly, it feels like the walls he has built specifically to keep you away from his heart, fall apart so easily.
"if you're a monster, then why do you talk so gently to me?" you whisper, and the hairs of his skin stand, sharp nails digging onto your skin. "so careful of my body, asking me for consent, even though you're salivating in hunger."
the smile you gave him made baizhu fall in love with you all over again, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. "i think you are quite nice, person that i totally don't recognize." a soft chuckle escapes your lips, and it eases him how comfortable you were, worries melting into nothingness. "so please, tell me what i need to do to help you."
ah, he was so weak for you. baizhu wraps an arm around your neck, pulling you impossibly closer to him, capturing your lips once against with his. "then you better start fucking me," he demands, his other hand scoops the slick his body has been producing wildly, copious amounts in his hand and coating your dick with it himself.
you lean down to his ear, letting him hear all of the lewd sounds that escape your lips as he squeezes your length, stroking it with his experienced hands, and grazing his nails on a thick, bulging vein that makes you whimper onto his neck. you quickly caught on that he enjoyed your noises. his wetness felt cool on your throbbing cock, the squelch of each movement of his hand making you tremble above him, burying your nose onto his shoulder as he coos your name and played with your cock.
maybe you were just extra sensitive because you were... inexperienced... but there was something odd about his wetness. it made your dick tingle, ache, and burned fervidly. you felt lightheaded all of a sudden, your mind and body screaming at you to just have your cock inside of him.
it must be one of his succubus traits, you gulped nervously.
you were so cute, so pliant, despite having him underneath you. a surge of pride swells in his chest, digging his thumb onto your weeping slit, thoroughly satisfied at the moan that came from your trembling lips. he felt himself grow hungrier when you moved your head back, gazing at him with enchanted, half-lidded eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted lips. baizhu has never felt so grateful for his night vision.
when his skillful hands lined up your cock to his hole, parting his glistening folds with your pulsating tip, you stop him for a moment, brows furrowed worriedly. "w-wait," you breathe, voice wavering, "what about you?"
baizhu merely laughs at your concern, cooing at you and caressing your cheeks, to which you leaned against his touch. "oh baby, you think i'd come here unprepared?" he chuckles, tone teasing as he pushes your cockhead into his awaiting hole while he thumbs your skin to soothe you, softening the creases that formed on your face. "now go ahead, put it in me, darling."
baizhu had bite down his bottom lip until he bled to stop himself from screaming, his back arched at the burning stretch as you slowly plunged your fat cock into his hole. no matter how much he prepared himself to take you, he still found himself getting split open by your sheer girth. he didn't expect you to be so big, his gummy walls fluttering around your throbbing cock.
you moaned, louder than before, when you bottomed out, patiently waiting for him to adjust to your length, like the gentleman you were, but you were grinding your hips against his. you clung tightly onto baizhu, overwhelmed at the warmth that surrounded your virgin cock as his pussy clamps down on you, sucking you in deeper.
all the while baizhu felt like he was high above the clouds, being stuffed full just by your dick inside of him—his body was elated, forked tongue poking out between his lips as he stared up at your eyes, full of lust and desire.
cursing underneath your breath, you grew weak on the knees, the blistering heat slowly spreading all over your body; from your stomach, crawling upwards and onto your chest, to the very tips of your toes. it was almost paralyzing, his insides squeezing your poor, sensitive cock, wrapped in mind-breaking euphoria.
"that's it," he sighs, pressing kisses all over your face, reassuring, though amused. "such a good boy, already so fucked out by just penetrating me?" baizhu smirks, his fingers playing with the curves of your face. you whine at his words, very embarrassed as you bury your face in his neck.
"hah- this feels-" you swallow a mouthful of saliva, panting and groaning at the foreign sensations, twitching and pulsing deep inside of him, "all i can think about is fucking you—it's your doing, right?"
baizhu bats his eyelashes innocently at you, tilting his head as he hums. "oh darling, you can't blame me for every nasty thought that invades your mind," he purrs teasingly, grinning playfully when you give him a huff. "i am flattered, though."
it didn't take long before baizhu told you to start moving. it started off slow, gentle, and unsure, eyes searching for baizhu's guidance. it made his heart soar at how adorable you were, pouting as you sloppily thrust into him, exerting much effort to not lose yourself in the pleasure. you wanted to please him, so attentive and caring to his body.
don't worry, baizhu is more than happy to tell you what to do. he taught you many things you never knew before, to angle your dick just right, hitting a spot buried deep inside of him that made him curl his toes and cry out in delight—to ram your fat cock into his sopping wet cunt as he clenches on you, bucking your hips fast and hard.
baizhu throws his head back, smiling and clawing at your biceps, leaving red, angry scratches on them. he moans your name, nothing but praise coming out of his plump lips and drowning your thoughts with addictive lust. "you're fucking into me soooo nicely, darling~" he gasped when you kept precisely hitting his sensitive spot, his walls spasming and convulsing around your ravishing cock.
you grasped his thighs, gripping on them so tightly it's bound to leave bruises as you follow his every order, fucking him just how he liked, the loud slapping of skin on skin filling your once peaceful bedroom. it turns you on further on how vile the wet squelch it makes at each thrust you give. you held onto him for your dear life, fucking him with all your strength, body trembling from the unbearable pleasure.
moaning and whimpering, your head hung as drool dripped down onto his chest, body compelled to keep moving. it felt so good, each drag of your cock inside of his velvety walls felt like fire onto your skin, each squeeze and grind, it's making you mad, completely hooked on the feeling.
"such an obedient pup," baizhu coos and you let out a whine at his praise, eyes wide and glittering with unshed tears, and his heart skips a beat when he saw how easily fucked out you were. "does it feel good? hm? my pussy feels good around your cock?" you nod vigorously, leaning closer to him and angling yourself to reach even deeper. it made baizhu take a sharp intake of air, moaning obscenely into your ear.
"f-fuuckk! hgnn~ c-c'mon, use your words~" he smiles when you choke on a moan, never stopping your movements even for a second. "you're a good boy, aren't you? i know you can do it, talk to me~"
"s-stop-" you heaved, voice garbled as you tried to speak between your filthy sounds, nails digging into his skin. his voice was like honey to your ears, drowning in the thick viscousness of his sickeningly sweet words, making it difficult for you to properly think. it was all too much, and he wasn't making it easy for you.
"oh? you don't like praise?" his golden eyes shone brightly, and his nails grazed your skin painfully, but you reveled in the pain, panting, and shaking as baizhu cupped your face into his hands. "how about i call you a filthy whore instead? wanting to fuck a succubus that could drain your life away~" he whispers into your ear with such a haughty lilt in his voice, tongue licking your earlobe.
even though he was getting fucked by your fat cock, drilling into his insides until it all felt like numbing mush, moaning in delight as he wraps his legs impossibly tighter around you, keeping you close and never letting you go, he has you under his control. it was as if he owned your body, and you would only obey him.
it made your head fuzzy just thinking about it.
"you like being told what to do, hm? like some mutt?"
his words were like electric shocks down your spine, you couldn't help but pound harder into his warm, addicting cunt, a cry leaving your lips when he clamped down onto your cock once more. like a hand, gripping tightly onto something he owns, and in this case, your cock belongs to his pussy.
"oh my!" he grits his teeth as he lets out a long, drawn-out moan, pulling your head to his chest as he rolls his eyes back. "shit, hnff- t-that god you more excited, huh? so pussy drunk that you're only thinking with your dick~"
suddenly, you let out a shout, squeezing your eyes shut and burying as deep as you could inside of baizhu, a tear rolling down your cheek as you shot thick ropes of your cum straight into his starving womb. and oh, baizhu took it all, a small, joyous yes yes yes! leaving his lips as he moved his hips against yours, not giving you a moment's rest as he fucks himself onto you.
you didn't know what came over you after you orgasmed into his welcoming pussy, but when the mark on his womb glowed a vibrant green, your body kept moving on its own, despite the sting of overstimulation overcoming your senses. you fucked him, again and again, pressing the pad of your thumb against his clit and fiercely rubbing it as you burrow into him, mind blank.
your body shivered, sobbing and drooling as you absentmindedly followed baizhu's every command, twitching and burning from the numbing pleasure, yet your body refused to stop, even after you've come numerous amounts of times inside of him.
baizhu's hair became a mess as he greedily took every load you'd spilled, absolutely obsessed at the warmth of your seed filling up his insides and forming a creamy ring on your cock. you looked so handsome crying, begging him for a break, and that you can't take it anymore.
despite this, you let him milk your cock for all it's worth, pumping him full until it leaks out of his hole, his ankles were now resting on your shoulders. you were so lost in the pleasure, hiccuping as you cum again for the nth time.
just one more, he promised, though he pushed you back, turning your bodies around so baizhu was straddling your lap. he began to ride you, with expert movements that had you mewling, your arm covering your face, moaning into the night, holding no regards for your neighbors through your thin walls.
his nails marked your chest, making it bleed along his scratches, grinding his hips onto yours. gods, you felt so fucking good, it was difficult for him to pull away. your length and girth were just perfect, his blood boiling in thrill and excitement just by having you inside of him. he wanted more and more, drinking in as much as you could give him. your essence was just so delectable, irresistible. it was all he could ever want to eat.
you moan in sync, watching baizhu as he arches his back so prettily on top of you, creaming around your cock. you could tell he was just as sensitive as you were, but his hips ceased to stop. shakily, you reached for his tail, which possessively curled around your fingers.
gently, as you always are, you kiss the heart-shaped tip of his tail, watery eyes, so unfocused, but stared into baizhu's eyes, so full of tenderness that it snapped him out of his frenzied stupor.
baizhu gasps, cradling your face into his hands as he frets over you when your head falls, catching your breath as if you've run a marathon. "oh archons," he calls your name, shaking you lightly, "are you okay!? im so sorry, i didn't mean to- i got carried away!" hearing the distress in his voice, you only put your hand atop of his, kissing his palms and giving him an adoring smile.
"m'fine," you rasp, and before baizhu knows it, there was a faint click! right beside him, and light engulfs your room. your eyes light up when you finally see him, his eyes wide in shock. "hah, knew it was you."
"you-i-" instead of reacting how he always thought you would, as all others have, you grabbed his hands, and pressed long, loving kisses on each knuckle. baizhu's stomach was doing flips at each kind gesture, and he was now acutely aware of how he could feel your seed sloshing in his womb whenever he moved. his cheeks flush in embarrassment. "y-you weren't supposed to see me!" he glares at you, fangs bared threateningly.
though you can't bring yourself to fear him—not when he's panting, covered in sweat that gleamed at the orange light from your lamp, his face red, and eyes still full of carnal desire. but you know, behind his hunger, was nothing but love, adoring and fragile. "it's okay," you whisper as you sit yourself up, leaning back against the headboard, "it's okay to be seen."
your fingers twirled around a loose strand of his hair, planting a kiss on it while your eyes were on him, other hand caressing the ever-glowing mark on his swelling tummy. "please, let me see you." you kiss his jawline, and baizhu groans when you press onto his abdomen, so full—both of your lust and love. "let me love you."
his eyes burned as he let you wrap your arms around him, engulfing him in a hug he has long yearned from you. "go ahead, love," his skin crawls at the pet name, rolling so naturally from your tongue, so heavenly to his ears. "i know you still need more. i can take it."
baizhu has a lot of worries, especially concerning you. but at that moment, when you held him so tenderly, connected, with nothing but love in your gaze and a smile on your lips as you kissed him—it felt like everything was alright.
the world was nothing, and it was just the two of you, in each other's arms, lips locked; nothing could separate the two of you.
he may have fears, ones that will probably never go away for as long as he lives. but with you saying his name so softly, caressing his sensitive skin, and telling him it was okay for him to keep taking from you, despite your creeping exhaustion—he wants to have you by his side for a little longer, if not, forever.
because with you, baizhu thinks that everything will be fine.
"...just say you want more of me," he replies, hiding his face from you, to which you merely laughed at. "you freak... letting a succubus fuck you..."
"please, stop ignoring my heartfelt confessions and countering them with something mean," you pout, your thumb wiping away the stray tear that trailed down his cheek.
baizhu just pins you down, grinding his hips and making you roll your eyes, mouth open from a breathless moan. "keep quiet pet, i'm not done with you." he threatens, but you just smile,
"i love you."
gods, he hates how this all feels so normal with you, his poor heart that was boarded up in the beginning, all so vulnerable and raw before you.
but perhaps,
"...i love you too."
everything will be quite alright.
2K notes · View notes
bradshawssugarbaby · 2 months
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Hurricane - Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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summary: Bradley's regretted breaking off his relationship with you for months, but when he sees you walking into the country club after his round of golf, he knows he has to fix things.
a/n: I haven't written much angst before but I'm really trying to branch out a little bit. Inspired by Hurricane by Luke Combs, and also this weird recurring dream I keep having.
pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x reader
warnings/content: buckle up bc there's a lot? angst (happy ending), parental death, depression, hurt, cancer, goose's accident + carole's reaction, carole literally never getting over losing goose, bradley being a commitmentphobe, pregnancy (i think that's it?), also entirely unrealistic bc you know what? I can't keep roo sad for long.
word count: 3.6k
taglist: @avengersfan25, @nouis-bum, @floydsmuse, @mamachasesmayhem, @jessicab1991, @atarmychick007, @b-bradshaw, @djs8891
Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind Baby, without warning I was doin' alright but just your sight Had my heart stormin'
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Bradley narrowed his eyes beneath his sunglasses, the glare of the hot mid-morning sun harsh on his chocolate brown eyes. He grabbed his nine-iron from his golf bag, taking a practice swing before teeing up for his next shot. Bob, Jake, Reuben and Javy stood to the side behind him, watching as he lined up to take his shot. He hadn’t golfed in years, in fact, he’d only ever golfed a handful of times in his life, all of them back when he lived in Virginia. His uncle had taught him when he was 15, a welcome distraction when his mom became sick, and he’d gone out a few times when he was in college after a roommate of his on the school’s golf team had invited him out. He held his breath as he heard the club make contact with the small, white orb, watching as it soared through the air, disappearing somewhere onto the course. Jake let out an impressive whistle as he looked on, placing his hands on his hips as he shook his head in disbelief.
“You’ve never golfed before, Bradshaw? You sure?” He drawled, raising one of his manicured (though he’d deny it if asked) blonde eyebrows suspiciously.
“I told you, a handful of times. Not never.”
“You did say less than five,” Bob shrugged as he cleaned his glasses before replacing them on his nose. “Less than five suggests you haven’t really hit a course.”
“Not to mention you said in years. That was the swing of a man who’s at least hit a driving range a few times,” Reuben pointed out to the course in the general direction of where Bradley’s ball had landed as Javy, Bob and Jake nodded in agreement. 
“I wish Nat had tagged along, she wouldn’t ride my ass this hard,” Bradley huffed, shaking his head. 
“Nat doesn’t golf. You know that. She acted disgusted that I even asked,” Jake shrugged.
“Maybe it was how you asked,” Bob suggested as he disguised his jab at Jake as a helpful criticism.
 “Just take your turn, Robert,” Jake hissed, rolling his eyes dramatically as Bob smirked.
Bradley normally would have joined in with a quip of his own directed at Jake, but his heart just wasn’t in it. His heart wasn’t even in the game. The only reason why he’d agreed to go golfing with the guys for their usual monthly game was because you left him. He needed to get over you and move on - it’d been six months and with no deployments coming up, he had nothing to focus 100% of his attention onto. Reuben had noticed it first - Bradley was withdrawn on nights out, his usually chatterbox self now quiet, calm and keeping to himself, barely breaking eye contact with his beer bottle. Then came Natasha’s barrage of questions - he knew she meant well, but God, it was hard to listen to. 
He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he knew why you left. And it was entirely his fault. You’d gotten upset because he’d stopped spending as much time with you, kept getting cold feet about committing to your relationship. He’d never tell you why he couldn’t commit - it was too hard for him to explain to anyone, really. In fact, he was fairly confident that Reuben was the only other person aware of it. 
Bradley wanted to be the partner you needed - he really did. He wanted to be the doting, affectionate boyfriend who’d whisk you off somewhere beautiful, propose to you, start a family with 2.2 kids and a dog, cart the kids around to sports practices on weekends - the American dream. He knew you deserved that much. And yet, no matter how badly he wanted to give that to you - he couldn’t. He’d told you he didn’t want it - he didn’t want to get married, he didn’t want to have kids, he never wanted it. He watched you fall apart the minute the words left his mouth, and it killed him inside. He wanted to hold you close and tell you he was making a mistake, tell you it wasn’t true and he didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t. 
He couldn’t, because he was terrified. 
Growing up without his dad was one of the hardest things he could have experienced, he was sure of it. He was too young to truly remember how his mom reacted when she learned her husband had been killed in a training exercise, but he remembered her crying a lot, feeling paralyzed by loss and guilt, angry with the world for taking the man she loved away from her. He remembered as he grew up, she never remarried, never went on a date, never even as much as looked at another man. His dad was her everything, and losing him crushed her. 
When she got sick, Bradley was a teenager - old enough to understand what it meant for her, what her odds of recovery were, and old enough to be realistic about the future. When they found out she wasn’t going to get better, he’d half expected her to react the way she did when his dad died, but instead, she seemed almost at peace with the idea. She’d spent 14 years of her life missing his dad, and she knew that, even though she was horrified by the thought of leaving Bradley on his own, she wouldn’t have to spend another minute missing her husband.
Bradley decided then that he’d never want to put someone through that. He’d never be able to hurt someone he loved like this - leave them widowed before they turned 30, alone with a toddler at home to raise on the opposite side of the country from their family and friends, with nothing but a military pension and an apology over his death. 
It was at 16 years old that Bradley decided, if he wanted to become a pilot, he was going to have to spend life alone, and for the most part, he was ok with that. 
That was, until he met you.
He tried to deny his feelings, pretending you were just a casual fling, some fun sex here and there between deployments and missions and nothing more. That was, until three months in, he accidentally told you he loved you. It wasn’t a lie, he did love you, but it caught him off guard when he said it - he didn’t mean to blow his cover and let his guard down like that. And when you said it back? He knew it was game over. 
He tried his hardest to push his fears aside, he tried SO hard. He was getting older and beginning to realize he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life alone, especially as he neared the mandatory 20 years of service cutoff for aviators. He’d grown almost fond of the idea of settling down with you, seeing you with a ring on your finger, picturing you with a baby in you, his baby. He wanted it. He wanted all of it. But, the fears and anxiety he had reared its ugly head, and he couldn’t bring himself to get past it. 
It was on their last mission, when he had to eject and landed in the middle of a snowy mountain, unsure if he’d make it back home to you. His mind raced with thoughts of how you’d react if he didn’t make it home - how you’d crumple to the floor when you saw the two uniformed officers on your doorstep, the blood-curdling scream you’d let out in pain when you heard them say it, tears staining your pretty little face as you were handed that folded American flag - he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand the idea of putting you through everything his mom had gone through. Not when you were so young and had everything ahead of you. When you could find a man who wasn’t putting his life in danger nearly every damn day, risking himself and risking a chance he might not come home to you. 
This golf trip was meant to take his mind off you. Reuben had mentioned it in passing to Jake and Bob, who exchanged worried looks with one another. Javy had overheard Nat’s line of questioning when he and Mickey returned to the table with a fresh round of beers, both of them offering Bradley silent looks of sympathy as they nodded in agreement to Nat’s advice. Bradley was struggling, in over his head with emotions and regret and sadness, but he knew he’d fucked it all up. And he knew that even if he tried, you wouldn’t want him back, and who could blame you? 
Bob had suggested he reach out to you and apologize, and for a while, Bradley considered it. He strongly considered calling you, going to your house, begging for forgiveness and begging you to take him back, but after how you reacted when he broke things off with you, he wouldn’t even take him back. He’d been a dick in every sense of the word, and now, he had to try and move on, adjusting to life without you in it. 
The next nine holes passed by with little conversation from Bradley and worried glances exchanged between his friends. He wasn’t in the mood for talking, he’d explain, shrugging the concern off before focusing back on the game. Bradley was thankful for his friends’ efforts, but it was beginning to feel like nothing would help him move on. 
He slumped down into a chair at a table in the country club after their round of golf, sipping back the beer Jake bought him. He caught himself downing the liquid quicker than he should have, but at this point, being drunk would at least provide him with that much needed numbness he craved. He could hear Bob bickering with Jake over golf scores and who truly won, prompting an eye roll from Javy as he pulled the crumpled scoresheets from his pocket and placed them on the table. Reuben noticed the glazed over look in Bradley’s eye and clapped a sympathetic hand down on his shoulder. 
Bradley was about to thank Reuben for being there for him when he saw your face. You were walking into the country club with a couple of your friends, laughing and smiling as you spoke. 
God, he loved that smile. 
He gulped back the rest of his drink before placing the glass back down on the table, the sound of Bradley slamming the glass down a little harder than he intended prompting Jake to spin his head around as he saw you.
“Oh..shit,” he murmured as Bob and Javy both turned to look discreetly towards you.
Bradley’s eyes widened as you walked past the bar, revealing a very unexpected new figure. He blinked his eyes a few times to ensure they weren’t playing tricks on him - positive that this had to be some kind of optical illusion or something. It was impossible. You couldn’t be.
“Pregnant.” Jake whispered as he leaned into the table, “She’s pregnant,”
“Did you know, Bradley?” Bob inquired as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
“N-no.” Bradley choked out, feeling the walls closing in around him as the room started to spin.
Without hesitation, Bradley rose from his seat and made his way over to you, despite the protests from Bob and Reuben, the two voices of reason to Javy and Jake’s voices of impulse. Bradley approached you cautiously, clearing his throat for a moment to garner your attention. You spun your head around, your cheeks rosy and your skin glowing with that pregnancy glow everyone always talked about. Bradley had never really believed in that kind of stuff, but you were proving him wrong. 
“Bradley?” you asked, your face paleing to a shade of ghostly white. 
“Can…can we talk, please? I need to talk to you,” Bradley rambled with desperation written on his face.
You huffed a sigh, nodding your head slowly as you excused yourself from your friends, who were now whispering and exchanging uncomfortable glances with one another. Bradley followed closely behind you as you stepped out into the fresh air, finding a discreet corner of the parking lot to discuss everything from the last six months. 
“I…Is it mine?” Bradley whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer as his eyes wandered to the bump that was evident under your sundress.
You sighed again, following Bradley’s gaze down to your abdomen, a protective hand resting on your bump as you nodded slowly, humming in confirmation.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He frowned, shaking his head quickly, “I-I, I would have helped you.”
“Bradley,” you said, narrowing your eyes and shaking your head quickly, “You told me you didn’t want this. You dumped me and told me you never wanted to settle down or have a family, you didn’t want to be with me anymore, and being in a long-term relationship wasn’t what you ever wanted. You told me you didn’t love me. So please, tell me why I should have told you?”
“Because,” he said softly, his heart aching as he heard your side of things, “I didn’t mean any of that. I was wrong.”
“Oh, you were wrong? Tell me, were you always wrong, or are you only wrong now that you’ve seen me six months later, heavily pregnant?” 
Bradley was speechless. He gazed down at his feet, kicking at the pavement in his golf cleats. He sighed as he thought for a moment, taking a second of quiet reflection to compose his thoughts before speaking. He wanted to get this right. He couldn’t afford to fuck it up again.
“I was always wrong. I was wrong when I said it, and I knew I was wrong,” he shook his head vigorously before looking up to meet your gaze, “Did I ever tell you about my mom?”
“You told me she died when you were a teenager, and you didn’t really mention anything else about her. Or anyone in your family, for that matter.”
“Right,” he nodded his head slowly, taking a deep breath before beginning to explain. “My dad died when I was 2. He was an RIO, a Radar Intercept Officer. You know Maverick, right?”
“Mhmm,” you nodded slowly, a look of annoyance flashing across your face as you listened to Bradley, you were used to his excuses, and you were really hoping this wasn’t another one. 
“So, Maverick was my dad’s pilot. Best friends. Did everything together. He was flying when my dad died, their plane lost control, had to eject, my dad hit the canopy. Died instantly.” Bradley paused, taking another deep breath as he felt himself getting choked up, “My mom, she, uh, she was really young. My dad was 25, my mom was 23. He was her high school sweetheart. She was devastated. I was too young to remember a lot, but I remember her hurting, and being sad all the time, unable to function some days because she just missed him so much,” he explained as tears began to roll down his cheeks.
“Bradley, I’m sorry,” you sighed, shaking your head as you sympathetically rubbed his bicep to comfort him.
“I just…when she died, she was…peaceful, I guess, because she knew she wouldn’t have to miss him anymore. She wouldn’t be lonely. She never remarried or dated after him, she couldn’t bring herself to. She’s buried with her wedding ring still on her finger. I couldn’t bring myself to take it off her,” he took another deep breath, exhaling sharply before looking up at you. 
“I couldn’t do that to you,” he finally said, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over again, “I couldn’t leave you like my mom. Heartbroken and alone your whole life. She never moved on, and I didn’t want that for you if we got married. God, I would have given anything to marry you. I would have taken you to the courthouse and married you on the spot if you would have agreed to it. But, I couldn’t risk breaking your heart. Not like that.”
“Bradley, you’ve always come home in one piece,” you said softly, fingers still stroking his upper arm soothingly.
“But I almost didn’t. I had to eject and all I could think about was you getting that knock at the door and going through what she went through, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to you, or…or to a baby.”
You shook your head, processing everything that Bradley had just said as he poured his heart out to you. He’d never opened up like this to you before, but you could tell each and every word was genuine. As much as you hated him for leaving you, you couldn’t deny that you still loved him with all of your heart. 
You missed him. 
You missed waking up to him after the two of you had fallen asleep watching a movie together. You missed the way he yelled at the tv when watching baseball, how passionate he got over football games, how he’d pick the olives out of his nachos like a toddler and put them on your plate. You missed how he couldn’t eat apples unless they were baked in a pie, how he’d scarf down an entire red velvet cake if you didn’t gently stop him, then regret it hours later. You missed the way his big brown eyes would stare at you, a look of pure adoration on his face like a lovesick puppy whenever you spoke to someone else, as if he was hanging on every single word that fell from your lips.
You burst into tears, throwing your arms tightly around Bradley as you shook your head. “God, you’re an idiot, you know that?” you murmured, laughing softly as you hugged him.
“I know, I’m the biggest idiot. I still would marry you if you let me. I wanted to have kids with you, I want to be around for this one,” he nodded, gesturing his hands at your bump. 
“Really?”
“Cross my heart,” Bradley said with an expression of complete seriousness on his face, “I wanna know everything about them. Everything. I wanna know what you’re having, what name you’ve picked out, what your cravings are, how you’ve been feeling, when they move, what does it feel like? I want to know how far along you are, and how they’re doing, if they have my nose or your nose, or if they’re gonna be tall like I am, I want to know what helps you sleep at night when you’re pregnant, and what their favourite song is. I want all of it, honey.”
“Ok, ok, slow down, breathe, Bradley,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “Take a walk with me?”
As you and Bradley walked around the pedestrian pathway on the golf course, smiling as you spoke fondly about the baby, answering all of Bradley’s questions. 
“Well, baby’s a girl, I don’t have a name in mind for her yet, I’ve been craving oranges and Sprite, anything sweet and citrusy. I’ve been ok, better now the morning sickness finally dissipated. It feels like bubbles or something when she kicks, it’s like a fluttering, almost? I’m 28 weeks along, so I have about three months left. She looked like she has your nose on the ultrasound, there’s a 50/50 chance on her height, I sleep pretty much sitting upright because I get bad heartburn otherwise, and I play her music all the time. She likes Elvis and The Beach Boys, just like her dad.” 
Bradley’s smile spread wide across his face, a small laugh of disbelief escaping his mouth as he nodded along with your words.
“That’s great. A girl? Really? You’re gonna have a daughter running around,” he said softly, almost as if he was daydreaming about what the little girl would look like.
“We are going to have a daughter.”
“You’re gonna let me be there? After everything?”
“Bradley, as much as I hated you for what you did and how you ended things - I never truly hated you. I loved you, more than anything. I still do.”
He held you tightly, burying his face into your hair as he kissed the top of your head, murmuring softly against your hair. 
“God, I love you so much, honey. I promise, I’m never going to do something stupid like that again.”
“I know you won’t,” you laughed, shaking your head as he looked down at you, “I know you’d never leave Carly and I again.”
Bradley froze in place for a moment as he stared at you, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke. 
“What did you call her?”
“Carly. I thought, I don’t know, after you told me about your mom just now, I thought maybe you’d like to name the baby after her? Carole’s nice too, I just figured Carly gives her a name that’s her own too, they share the same root.”
“Carly,” he nodded slowly as he repeated it, “I love it.”
Bradley took your hand in his, his large fingers enveloping your hand as he held it tightly, as if he was terrified of letting go. He made that mistake once before, he wasn’t about to do it again. 
521 notes · View notes
minhosbxtch · 3 months
Text
Snap
Eris x reader
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This was longer than I planned but oh well :)
Also if you can spot the Aaron Warner reference you get 10 points
Lmk if I should make a part 2
Warnings: SH by fire, language, drinking?, slight spicy at the end but no smut
Mother, this entire thing was awful. You were pining after Azriel who was pining after Elain who was mated to Lucien.
Elain. You tried to like her and continued to be kind to her but she never failed to piss you off. How did someone with no personality, no fire, have not one, but two great, hard-working males wrapped around her finger.
Why would Azriel want you though? You were the one Rhys told to do all his dirty work. You were his personal hit-man.
You worked up quite the reputation, never failing a job, never getting distracted. You had worked your way into the Inner Circle by being loyal and quite the secret keeper.
But it had its perks. Like right now you were invited to the ball in the Hewn City.
Since people were still arriving you were still standing in front of Nesta who was standing in front of Cassian, to his delight.
You loved them both dearly and wished only for them to be happy, but you were jealous. You wanted what they had, or what Rhys and Feyre had. Someone who would unconditionally love you. Someone that would fight for you. Someone that would burn the world for you.
Hopefully that person being Azriel.
You and Nesta bonded over your love for the villains in stories. You would gossip for hours on your favorite romance books where the hero would fall for the villain, and then get hurt and the villain would be furious and all protective.
Well that was until she found Cassian.
Now it was all 'Sorry I can't I'm going out with Cassian.'
You were happy for them, truly. But you craved that more than anything. Something to fill your loneliness. Someone to fill your loneliness.
Your hands smoothed down the skirts of your black dress as you watched the people dance and drink.
You could see Keir out of the corner of your eye talking to a male. He was unfamiliar to you. He was one of the most beautiful males you'd seen, and that was saying something since you lived with the Bat Boys and Lucien.
Holy shit that's Eris.
You didn't recognize him at first without his long hair. But you had to admit, it brought out the sharpness of his face even more. His golden eyes seemed to pierce through Keir as he towered over the male.
Eris met your eyes and grinned, tilting his head. Clenching your jaw, you pulled your eyes away from him, looking dead ahead at nothing.
You could see him and Keir begin to approach the dais that the throne sat on. Still, you remained staring straight ahead.
You did sneak a glance as he bowed to Rhys and Feyre, which was more of incline of his head. Quickly, you changed your features into a sneer, like you were above having to bow.
But when Eris did come up from "bowing", he wasn't looking at the High Lord or High Lady. No, he was looking at you. His gaze still remained on you as Rhysand welcomed him. He steadily met your eyes, only dropping once to look at the quite revealing gown you had on.
Your blood burned through your veins as you continued to meet his gold eyes.
"Well Eris, you may have a dance with her if you wish since you are clearly so distracted," Rhys said nonchalantly, in the voice of the High Lord.
At once Eris' eyes snapped to Rhysand before saying, "Thank you my Lord," before bowing yet again before starting towards you.
If you hadn't trained yourself to show no emotion you might've turned to Rhysand and laughed.
Sorry, Rhys spoke in your mind, sounding amused.
Fucking hell, you'd have to get Feyre to try to help figure out a way to send a mental death stare. It probably wouldn't have been the best idea to send your High Lord a glare that promised hell in front of Eris, Keir, and the entire Court of Nightmares.
Eris stopped a stair below you and gave you a bow, lower that the one he gave for Rhys and Feyre, before extending his hand to you.
His eyes seemed almost unsure, but since there was an audience you took his hand and before you could move to the floor, he bowed his head and kissed your hand.
It unnerved you. Not that he kissed your hand but his eyes remained on your face the entire time. Even though he wasn't smirking, you could see the male pride in his eyes.
His hand and lips were warm, but a nice, homey kind of heat instead of the sweaty, humid type that Cassian tended to give off.
The Inner Circle's shock was almost tangible. Not just the fact that he kissed your hand but also that he stood a step below you and bowed, far lower to you the the High Lord and Lady.
You were surprised too but you didn't show it.
You. An assassin. A nobody before you worked your ass off to prove yourself to the Inner Circle.
You were still in shock when he swept you to the dance floor before the song began and bowed to you, yet again, but this time it was almost mocking. His smirking face as he bowed, eyes never leaving your face.
He carefully intertwined his fingers with yours before putting his hand on your waist, his sharp eyes never leaving your face.
It didn't make sense. All of the tales of how awful and wicked didn't seem to line up to the male that stood in front of you. The male that bowed to you twice and not once looked at you in a way that made your skin crawl or feel even slightly uncomfortable.
But hell this was nice. Especially the fact that out of everyone in the ballroom he chose you.
The only reason you could even dance was because of your elegance. But that came from being an assassin and learning how to step carefully around the puddles of blood to not get your new shoes bloody.
You looked into his molten eyes as he began to lead you through the steps of the dance. You had a similar sense of etherealness as Nesta, but you had no idea what you were doing. Still, you did not falter. When you did a complicated twirl, Eris was right there, hands warm on your waist, spinning you.
After a grand flourish he caught you as the music ended. You both were panting and your faces were very very very close together.
Too close to look accidental.
You were sure your cheeks were bright red, and not from the dance.
Eris smiled softly and gently pulled you back up, righting you and then stepping away. When no one asked to switch partners he gave you a sly, questioning look to which you nodded.
The song that started playing was much slower and involved a lot less grand flourishes than the previous ones did.
You put both hands on his shoulders as he put both hands on your waist.
Since this one was slower, the only thing you could do was talk since there was not a lot of movement.
The silence was unbearable. Damn it. Why was this so hard? Usually talking and getting information came easy.
Putting on the uncaring facade you said sneering, "Your hair looked better long." You almost groaned out loud, mentally slapping yourself for your poor conversation tactics.
To be honest his hair didn't matter. He looked beautiful either way, but the short hair gave him a cold, sharp, godly look.
He chuckled before saying, "If you liked it better then I'll grow it back out for you. But not as messy as that brute."
"Cassian is nothing even close to a brute, so watch your fucking mouth asshole," you seethed.
Eris gave you a warning look and bent down close to your face to whisper, "Language princess. Only those who cannot express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutions in vocabulary."
Shit your palms definitely were sweaty. And Eris' warmth wasn't helping.
Especially the fact he called you princess.
He, clearly also picked up on your sweaty palms, asking mockingly, "Is it because I intimidate you? Am I making you nervous?"
Mother you had no idea what to say. So, you stayed quiet, glaring at the wall over his shoulder.
"Calm down love. We are all just joking around, are we not?"
"Well if you continue to 'joke around' then you won't have anything to joke around with."
He remained silent at that for a long while.
"There are no words to describe how beautiful you look tonight," he said quietly.
Your eyes widened at the change in conversation before saying the first thing that came to mind. "Are you saying I don't usually look beautiful?"
He smirked and looked you up and down as he said, "No no no. I was just saying, usually I see you in tight, assassin clothes, which those make you look seductive, but right now you look absolutely delicious," his voice dropped at the end of the sentence.
"Well you don't look to bad yourself," you said, cheeks flushed.
Well that was an understatement. He wore a orange sharp cut suit with gold accents that accentuated his muscles. And Mother, his muscles.
They were perfect. He was muscular but lean. He was perfect. Enough to forget about the dark haired, lean handsome male standing on the dais.
"Why thank you love, but I'm afraid I'm nothing in comparison to your loveliness," he said, leaning down to your ear.
Your cheeks were definitely bright red as you said, "Mother you're a shameless flirt," while trying to suppress a smile.
"Well only for you, darling," he said, smirking, "After all, it's not often I'm in the presence of an extravagant goddess."
"Well, I'm certainly not a goddess," you said smiling, your mask cracking.
He feigned a look of surprise, "That's impossible. There's no Fae, Illyrian, or mortal that even holds a candle to your beauty."
You laughed but your smile faded as Cassian approached saying, "Sorry to interrupt you both but Rhysand requires your presence," he said nodding to you.
You give Cassian a nod, before turning to Eris and curtsying mockingly, “Terribly sorry, but my High Lord requires my presence.”
Eris nodded in understanding before saying, “Of course. As long as you save me a couple dances later.”
You turned around to reply, but he was gone. Frowning you walked up towards the dais and curtseyed before asking, “How may I assist you, High Lord, High Lady?”
Rhys just motioned you to take the spot you were in earlier.
Washing your face of any emotion, you did as you were told. Standing on the same step as you did earlier, you could see a sudden flash of red hair.
You shifted slightly but it was not Eris, but Lucien who stood with Elain on his arm. Resisting the urge to smirk at Azriel, you continued to scan the crowd for Eris.
Looking for someone? An amused voice said inside your head.
No. I was seeing if there was any threats. You weren't technically lying, Eris was a son of a rival High Lord, classifying him as someone to keep an eye on.
Like the one you danced with earlier? Rhys said.
You didn't respond but turned around to make eye contact and gave him a glare that had sent men running. His eyes flashed and he shifted in his seat before giving you a warning look.
What? If I dance with him then there's no time to double cross us.
Very well. Just don't let him deceive you. Rhys relented.
You had no intention to let him deceive you. You were stupid for being caught off guard by earlier. A few pretty words and you were reduced to a defenseless, blushing maiden.
No.
You were a fucking assassin, and you let someone get in your head? No, that wouldn't happen again.
Two could play at this game.
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After winding through the crowd for several minutes, you still hadn't spotted the Eris Vanserra. All of the butterflies in your stomach had disappeared. Eris was just another of your targets.
Something else to conquer.
That was all.
People had given you a wide berth for the cold, calculated look on your face.
They knew you were hunting.
Several of them had kept their eyes on you as you prowled around the ballroom, trying to find your prey.
After a couple more minutes you gave up and started back towards the dais.
Rhys, Azriel, and Cassian were not up there. Now that you noticed it, they weren't anywhere in here.
They're probably doing business with Eris.
Yes. That would be the most reasonable solution. Still, the unnerving feeling didn't go away, if anything, it got stronger.
People. There were too many people. They crowded you, they were trapping you.
The feeling started in your stomach as an uncomfortable lump. You could feel it spreading. Speeding your heart rate up and making your limbs feel like they weighed ten-fold. The lump in your stomach starting traveled until it was sitting in your throat. Now your stomach felt empty and your throat had an uncomfortable lump in it that prevented you from breathing comfortably.
There wasn't enough air. Your body felt too hot and too cold at the same time. You felt feverish.
Your steps began to pick up speed as you rushed to the set of double doors that led to the hallway outside.
You burst through the door and gulped big breaths of air, nearly panting. The warm, sweaty feeling was left in the ballroom with all the crowds of people.
You sat on one of the benches and leaned your head back against the wall, relishing in the feel of the cool air in the drafty hallway.
Only a couple minutes later, something gave a hard tug in your chest. So forceful it was almost painful. At first, you thought you imagined it before it happened again, more urgently this time. Still, you ignored it, content to sitting on your bench.
After the second tug, you waited a few minutes outside to make sure it was over.
Smoothing your dress and hair you entered the ballroom again to see that Rhys, Azriel, and Cassian were back.
When Rhysand saw you enter he spoke in your mind saying to go join them up on the steps.
After you took your place, Rhys stood up and said in a booming voice, "Terribly sorry to say, but my Inner Circle and I have things to discuss and things to do."
No one cared. Honestly, they were probably happier to see you go just as much as you were to leave.
As one, you and the Inner Circle came together and winnowed out of Hewn City.
As the familiar streets of Velaris came into view you could hear Cassian say, "Mother I need a drink. Who's coming with me?"
Mor snorted before saying, "I already wasn't sober when we got there but I need more after that," she turned to you before asking, "You wanna go to?"
You shook your head before saying quietly, "I don't need a drink, I need some fucking sleep."
Usually you would since Azriel usually went but now you needed to sort through your own mess.
"Of course you do. You were with Eris," she said, looking at you with sympathy.
For some reason that made you angry. Saying nothing you clenched your jaw at her words.
Feyre, Mother bless her, saved you from your anger by saying with a smile, "Here I'm going to go back too. You go enjoy your fun."
Feyre was truly a gift from the Mother.
Only you and Feyre weren't going to Rita's. They all would get brain dead drunk, and poor Azriel had to go be responsible and get them home.
"So... What was going on with you and Eris. I thought you were going to launch yourself at Mor earlier," the High Lady said softly.
Instead of replying, you just took your mental walls down and showed her everything. You knew she was able to sense every feeling you had and at this point you didn't care. It was some much easier than explaining to her.
She remained silent beside you, processing what happened. "Well I think he actually likes you," she started. "Really! When he danced with Nesta he didn't genuinely compliment her like that. Much less bow and kiss her hand," she said at your skeptical look.
"And there's also the fact that he stood on a lower stair then you and then bowed to you. I know you know this, your just ignoring it," Feyre said, calling you out.
"Yeah I'm ignoring it. All of you hate him and there's no point in trying to pursue anything anyways," you said, rolling your eyes.
"And did something happen?" You asked.
"What do you mean?"
You tried to find the words but gave up, showing her instead when felt the tugs.
"I don't know what that means," Feyre said cautiously, "Here we'll talk more about this tomorrow."
She was hiding something. You'd corner her tomorrow about it when you were less tired and less emotional.
After exchanging your goodnights, you started for your room. It used to be an empty guest room until Rhys had given it to you and told you to decorate it however you want.
At first the room had been so dreary. Everything was black. Black shelves, sheets, blankets, paint, doors. When you started spending more time in your room, you began to redecorate it where it was almost unrecognizable.
The walls were painted the lightest green and the shelves, desks, nightstands, dresser, and bedframe had been painted dark brown, almost black. All over the room there were plants. No flowers, just green ferns, succulents, and cacti. There was swirls of ivy that went along the shelves, headboard and ceiling.
You had replaced the chandelier with one that was almost like crystal leaves. The couches were dark wood with sage green cushions and orange pillows. Your bed pallet was similar as the couches. All of the books you had collected had been neatly organized along the shelves and anywhere you had space.
Several Solstices ago, Feyre had gotten you lights that you could hang along the walls change color. They were always set to a nice medium orange that reflected perfectly against the rest of the room.
The place was entirely unrecognizable.
Unfortunately, no one had been in your room to notice.
You splashed the makeup off your face, unglamoured your skin, and took your dress off, sighing in relief from the tight grip. Getting into sleep clothes you immediately collapsed into bed and sleep took you away.
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You were dreaming.
All you saw was blood. And someone was screaming. Loud, gut-wrenching screams of pure undiluted terror.
You were holding a silver sword, but your hands... they weren't yours. They were much larger and veiner, and honestly, quite hot.
You felt like you and whoever this was were only one person, that you shared all thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
You were one and the same.
Banishing that thought from your mind, you watched as the person approached a man sitting in a chair who was watching as a slender, auburn haired women was being held down and backhanded over and over.
The anger that coursed through you was red hot flames as you raised the sword over the man's head and swung.
Beron's head rolled on the ground, his crown rolling to a stop at your feet. The guards stopped and looked over.
Immediately they let the lady go, but you could only watch through a red haze as the sword came down and down again on each guard.
Dropping the sword the person sank to their knees next to the women.
She quickly scooted back as your skin became itching, burning, like an army of ants was crawling under your skin.
In a sudden, harsh wave of agony, your vision went black yet again.
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You woke up violently to Cassian pounding your door saying that he was the one who drank all night and was still up before you.
Rolling your eyes you shut the door in his face. Judging by his yelling, he didn't like your attitude.
Well too bad. You felt like absolute shit. Similar to how you felt last night, the feverish, itchy sensation was back, and much stronger.
You needed to tell Feyre about what you saw, who you saw.
As you got dressed, the dream started fading quickly until you only remembered important parts, like the hot hands.
Less than 10 minutes later, you went downstairs to see no one there but a note scribbled hastily on the table.
Y/N,
I'm sure you've noticed already that we aren't there. There was a conflict that we needed to take care of. I sent Cassian to make sure you were awake before telling him to come with us. You can have the day off.
Feyre
Well then. Your going back to bed since there was no reason for you to be awake.
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Except you couldn't.
After laying in bed for hours you couldn't fall asleep, especially since your skin was crawling.
With a huff you turned over only to see Feyre's painting of the Inner Court, including you, sitting on your bedside table.
She had gifted it to you last Solstice with the intention of making you feel like you belonged. While you appreciated her sweet intentions it did the complete opposite.
Her and Rhysand were in the center where they stood smiling, bent over Nyx, who was sound asleep. Next to Feyre stood Gwyn who was smiling at Nyx with her arm wrapped around Nesta's shoulders who clearly was trying not to smile at Cassian, who had an arm wrapped around her waist and was leaning down next to her ear. Behind Nesta stood Emerie who looked so precious as she grinned from ear to ear, standing, arms linked with Mor, who as usual, looked perfect.
You were standing next to Mor and was peeking at Nyx over Rhys' shoulder with Lucien on your other side, smiling towards the frame.
The only mistake you think she made was his eyes. Lucien's eyes looked happy, joyful. Despite that on just the other side of him stood Azriel, who had his arm around Elain and they were giving each other lovey-dovey eyes.
In reality, Lucien's eyes would be bitter and yours would be dull as well.
Gwyn would be another option for Azriel, but that didn't bother you as much as Elain did.
She had a sweet, supportive, respectful, smart mate who put no pressure on her to immediately accept the bond and even distanced himself from her to give her room to breath. And yet, even then, she went for another male.
But part of you couldn't blame her. Part of you said that if you were that pretty than maybe people would actually want you.
To silence those voices and thoughts you reached to the candle you kept beside your bed and held it in your lap.
You rolled up your sleeve to reveal the precise burn marks all along your forearm. They were in perfect lines, wrapping all around your arm up past your elbow.
Your other arm looked the same.
You were running out of room.
Before you could rethink your decision you held the flame up to your arm and bit your lip hard to keep quiet.
You genuinely didn't feel any emotion other then self-hatred, so you stared at the light, eyes dry, face blank.
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5 hours later, Feyre and the others showed up, clearly exhausted by whatever happened.
A couple minutes later you received a summoning to Rhys' office. Inside sat him and Feyre, looking grave.
With a nod as a greeting, you sat down in front of them and politely asked, "How can I be of assistance?"
"So polite. Well darling isn't it nice to see you again. Not even a hello?" a voice drawled out from the corner of the room.
You sighed before saying, still facing forward, "Hello Eris."
He came into your line of vision and leaned against the desk and said, "Hello princess. So this is what you wear when I'm not around."
You turned your head coolly towards him before sucking in a breath.
He had a large bruise on his temple, jaw, and cheek and a deep cut along his opposite cheek, yet he almost seemed to glow with power. His eyes burned bright gold yet they seemed tired.
"I know I'm beautiful love, but you don't need to gape," he said, trying to put effort into a smirk.
As much as you tried to quell it, you couldn't deny the anger that rushed through you at his appearance.
"What happened? Who did this to you?" You demanded.
At your outburst, Eris raised an eyebrow and smirked before saying, "I'm flattered, love. I had no idea how much you cared."
Ignoring his remark you asked, "Was it Beron? Is that why you cut his head off?"
His smirk only grew wider. "So you did see that."
"See what?" Rhysand spoke up.
You shifted your eyes to him, saying, "I had a dream where a women was getting backhanded, over and over by soldiers. And I was in someone else's body and they cut his head off."
His eyebrows rose before asking, "And when were you going to inform us of this?"
"Considering I had the dream last night, I was planning to tell you today," you shot back.
At Eris' chuckle you sent him a dark glare which he returned with another smirk.
"Show me," Rhys demanded.
It took him a minute or two before he looked back at you and said, "What you saw was true. Eris is now High Lord and Beron was killed by him. You know exactly why and how you saw that, don't you?"
You stiffened and refused to look at Eris. "Yes," was all you said.
Rhysand nodded and said, "That is what we were meeting about today so you are dismissed."
Still averting your eyes, you walked out into the hallway but you only got a few steps in before someone grabbed your wrist, lightly tugging you around.
It was Eris.
You looked at him with disregard and asked, "Yes?"
He gave you a pointed look at your arm, to which you stiffened even more, before asking, "Are you okay?"
"Yes," you said before turning around to walk away.
Another tug had you facing him again.
Exasperated, you asked, "What do you want?"
"I want you," was all he said before quickly adding, "and for you to be okay and not hurt yourself."
At your untrusting look he blew out a breath of air and continued, "You realize I can feel your emotions. We're mates whether you want to admit it or not. You also showed me that."
You opened your mouth to respond but he cut you off by stepping closer and saying, "And as much as you hate it, you want me. I know you want me princess. Almost as much as I want you."
You didn't say anything but your cheeks might've for you. They were certainly a deep red.
Eris chuckled before tilting your chin up and looking you dead in the eyes, saying, "I won't pressure you into this, but I ask that you at least give me some conside--"
You pulled him down by his collar and kissed him briefly.
His eyes were wide before smiling and forcing you backwards against the wall before kissing you again, longer this time.
Gently, Eris held you against the wall, weak enough that you could escape if you wanted to.
But you didn't.
Mother you didn't.
He felt right. One of his hands was on your cheek occasionally tangling in your hair, the other on the curve of your waist.
His body gave off the similar warmth that he did at the ball but this time, he was significantly warmer, or maybe that was you.
Eris let out a sigh, something akin to a moan against your lips as you tugged on his hair roughly. Both of his hands slid towards your thighs and pulled them up to settle them around his waist. You could feel how hard he was in between your legs.
Your higher position gave him easy access to your neck, making you let out a quiet whine as he bit and sucked down your jaw to your collarbone.
You grabbed his head and forced it back up to kiss again, tongues fighting for dominance.
"If you both could take this somewhere else instead of in my hallway that would be much appreciated," yelled Rhys from inside his office.
Both of you tore apart and came to your senses. Eris gently lowered you back down and cleared his throat, color dusting his cheeks.
"I have to go back to the Autumn Court, but I will try to visit as much as I am able to. And love, don't do that anymore," he said with a pointed glance at your arms, eyes flaring.
You just nodded, to breathless for words.
Before you got the chance to turn around, Eris stopped you saying, "If you'd want it, there will always be a place for you in my Court."
Hesitating you said, "I will discuss it with Feyre and Rhys."
You really wanted to go with him. A High Lord, your mate? It was too good to be true. But, you still have duties her and it wouldn't be great for Court relations if you just left.
You tried to silently convey your feelings to Eris without words since your High Lord and Lady were definitely listening.
His eyes softened and he nodded in understanding.
He would wait.
462 notes · View notes
literaila · 3 months
Text
slip-up
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: megumi says something he's not supposed to
warnings: bit of sad megumi (same babe), gojo is a terrible comforter, reader doesn't get a lot of screen time but she's always there, a good lack of conflict resolution
a/n: the one-shot that started this series. i figured it was time to give it up
last part | next part
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*
year four.
megumi doesn't notice the slip-up right when he says it. he's not even really paying attention to the conversation. 
instead, he's thinking about the homework assignment he was supposed to turn in today--the one that gojo refused (couldn't) help him with. 
"my mom usually drops us off," he's telling his teacher, trying to be polite like you taught him and not start whining (like gojo taught him). "but she's out of town right now, so gojo dropped us off instead and he gets the times confused..." 
in all honesty, megumi could blame this whole thing on gojo. because it was his fault. 
usually, you woke him and tsumiki up, pulling on his hair when he whined into the pillows, packing their lunches while they both sat at the table, eating cereal or tamagoyaki. usually, you reminded megumi to tuck in his shirt and helped the two of them get their books together, taking an occasional moment to shout at megumi's budget dad to get up before he was late. usually, you walked them to the door, kissing them both goodbye and watching both of them until they closed the door. 
later on, you'd be there again, welcoming them home with another smile, asking about their days. forcing them into a thorough recap. 
but today megumi woke up with a sore neck and gojo smiling at him, asking if he was planning on being buried in his bed. 
because even though megumi heard you tell gojo that he needed to help out, step up, the mornings while you were gone, all of you should've known better. 
megumi hasn't even ever seen gojo out of bed before nine-thirty. 
so here he was, with his shirt untucked, his homework missing, and a bag of lollipops that gojo packed for lunch. 
here he was, three hours late for school, trying to explain to his teacher that it wasn't his fault. 
and here he was, accidentally calling you mom. 
but megumi doesn't even realize that until his teacher smiles a little bit, telling him that she understands, asking him when his mom gets back. 
megumi freezes. 
the word repeats in his mind, and he finally realizes his slip-up. 
sure, he's heard tsumiki call you it before--because for all intents and purposes, that's what you were. after four years of your unconditional love, the two of them knew, truly, that they could depend on you. 
but megumi has never had a mom, and he doesn't now. 
so it's still gojo's fault when the first tear rolls down his cheek. which megumi promptly wipes away. he's not going to cry--he's not the sort of kid that cries. he prides himself on it, actually. not needing the same sort of attention that he's seen his classmates get, never feeling things that deeply. 
but he's crying now, and his neck still hurts as he turns away from his teacher, going to sit down at his desk. 
and megumi isn't the type of kid that cries, but when he puts his head down, his cheeks feel a little damp. 
*
megumi's got a headache now--another reason why he doesn't cry--and he sort of wants to curl up in bed until tsumiki gets home, and then convince her to run away with him. 
but he doesn't. 
when gojo unlocks the door, megumi goes through it without stopping to look around. he drags his backpack to his room--gojo watching the whole time, of course--and closes the door before the man can say anything stupid. 
he can't deal with him right now. or ever, actually. 
megumi sets his backpack up against the wall with a brief thought about homework and the class he's going to miss because of this, but he doesn't care enough to dwell on it. 
everything about him feels stiff, like glue got between the seems of his very core. 
he's ten years old. he shouldn't have to worry about anything. 
he takes off his blazer, sets it on his desk with sweaty palms, and feels quite naked--even with the layers of clothes and lack of eyes. and his head hurts. megumi wants to get up and restart his day just so he can tell some version of his former self not to be so stupid. 
but he knows that's just the guilt talking, so he ignores that too. 
and it's only ten minutes into his glooming that there's a knock on the door, and gojo doesn't knock, so megumi knows immediately that something's wrong. 
he's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, but he leans up on his elbow when you peek your head into the room. 
for a brief moment, megumi is so relieved to see you that he almost jumps up and clings to you--like some child would. 
he wants to hold onto you and beg you not to leave again, because everything seems to go wrong when you’re not there. he wants to tell you that he’s scared, and that he’s not sure what to do.
but he refrains, and blinks idly, confused about why you're here, and why his heart hurts just from looking at you. 
“hey, you okay?” you whisper, taking a step into the dark room. you don't look banged up, and megumi wonders what gojo said to get you to come home. he probably told you that megumi was dying, or something. 
you sit on the edge of his bed, and your hand is on his forehead before megumi can blink. “you feel sick?” 
megumi nods, but his eyes don’t meet yours. it's a small enough lie. 
“i’m sorry. did satoru give you any medicine?” 
“did you have to come home for me?” 
you smile, slightly. “no, buddy, don’t worry. it was easier than they said, just a grade one. plus i kinda rushed it cause i missed you guys.” you push his hair out of his eyes, “now, medicine?”
“i don’t want any.” 
“if you don’t feel good—“ 
“actually,” he interrupts. “can—i, um, i don’t really want to talk.” 
you pause, eyes roaming over his face. “oh. okay. that’s fine.” 
you remove your hands from him immediately, walls of metaphorical space flying up between the two of you. “i’ll leave you alone. just ask if you need anything, okay? i’m going to go unpack.”
he nods and you give him a little grin. 
and right as you're at the door, he falters. he doesn’t really want you to go. he wants you to crawl into bed with him, treat him like he's actually sick, and let him lay with his head in your lap. he wants to ask you the same question that's been in his head since he said it, but he can't. 
“y/n?” he whispers, instead, your name feeling wrong in his mouth. 
“yeah?"
“will... will you get gojo?" he asks, even though it's not what he wants to say at all. "i want to talk to him.” 
“gojo?” you frown, looking at him. “yeah. of course, yeah. i’ll go get him. one sec.” 
and when you close the door, megumi feels like he’s said something wrong. slipped up again. 
he sits there and waits, feeling incorrect in his body. he wants you to come back and tell him that it'll all be fine, but he knows that you won't. if there's one thing you're good at, it's respecting boundaries. 
and megumi has a lot of them. 
gojo doesn’t knock when he comes into the room, and megumi is so lost in thought that he jumps as soon as the door clicks open. 
megumi’s neck flies as he looks at him, wide eyes. he's already sat up, preparing himself for an influx of anger. 
“is this about your lunch?” gojo asks, immediately, words fast and smooth. “because that wasn’t my fault. i thought your school did that.”
“you bought us our lunchboxes,” megumi argues, “you made me get the weird one with the dragon.” 
“do not insult dracomon like that.” 
megumi rolls his eyes. “whatever.” 
“so, you wanna talk to me, huh?" gojo sits on megumi’s desk chair, legs hanging off the sides. “i think this is the first real conversation we’ve ever had.” 
megumi rolls his eyes again. 
gojo waves a hand. "alright. what is it?" 
megumi pauses. he can't ask gojo. even if he had an answer, it would be the least trustworthy version of one. 
he scratches his neck, not sure how to lie about this. knowing that he's not supposed to lie in the first place. 
he's doing everything wrong today. 
gojo shakes his head, white hair the victim of many fashion crimes. “spit it out, kid. i just did you a huge favor, and i don’t have time for the attitude.” 
“you didn’t do anything,” megumi frowns, crossing his arms. 
gojo snorts. “you think they just say ‘come get your child’ when you’re crying at your desk?” he asks, rhetorically, and megumi’s face goes still. “no, they disrupted my nap, saying that you needed to be picked up and handed me a card for a child psychologist.” 
“they told you?” 
he nods. “and i didn’t tell y/n,” he grins, self-satisfied. “so you’re welcome.” 
“why not?” 
“because she would’ve freaked out, and i don’t need that, and i’m pretty sure you don’t want that…” 
megumi nods immediately. 
“it can stay our secret if you tell me what’s going on. i’ll edit the report when y/n asks,” then he turns, looking at the door. “even though she’s already listening in.” 
“really?” megumi bites the inside of his cheek, checking the crack under the door for feet. 
satoru kicks him. “no. she’s in her room. now, talk. i don’t know how long she’ll take.” 
megumi swallows. he doesn’t really want to ask—not his only real question—but he’s already gotten this far. 
at least it doesn't matter what he says, because no one will believe anything gojo makes up anyway. 
“megumi…” gojo prods. 
“do you know where my mom is?” 
there’s a pause. a very long pause where megumi feels like he’s being scrutinized.
he can tell that gojo is looking at him very closely, a microscope to megumi’s cell, even though he can’t see his eyes.
“i—“ gojo pulls a strand of hair by his ear. clearing his throat. “i, um, im not sure. why?” 
“no reason.” 
there’s a very weird wince on the man’s face. “do you want to… talk about them? your… parents?” 
“no,” megumi says immediately. 
gojo sighs. “look, i’ll tell you if you really want to know—“ 
“i don’t care. i just… i don’t care.” 
“…okay.” 
“okay.” 
the two of them are both lying. they have the same neck-scratching, and looking away tells. if you were in the room, you would be monitoring both of them very harshly. probably scolding them for the look on both of their faces.
gojo’s expression is so much weirder than megumi’s ever seen it. “are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” 
“i just wanted to know if you knew,” megumi says, crossing his arms, then doing it again. “i don’t care about them. they don’t care about me.” 
“well, i don’t know that—“ 
“no. you and y/n took us in and they didn’t care. so why should i?” 
“right.” gojo nods. “right we… took you in.” 
megumi nods, as a finality, and then deflates a little bit. 
he doesn’t care about his mom—whoever she is, wherever she might be. he doesn’t. he just… also doesn’t want to replace her. 
it feels wrong to think about. she doesn’t care about his life, so why should he care about hers? 
it's a stupid sort of guilt. if tsumiki said anything like it, megumi wouldn't talk to her for a week. 
but it's the sort of guilt over you, and a woman he knows nothing about. someone he doesn't really want to know about. 
maybe that makes it worse. 
“did someone say something at school?” 
megumi frowns. “no. why would they?” 
gojo shrugs. “kids are jerks,” he answers, simply, and then mutters “i would know…” under his breath, making megumi want to punch him again. 
“no one said anything.” 
“then why were you crying this morning?” 
“i wasn’t crying.” 
“hey,” gojo frowns. “crying is fine. it’s good.” 
“i know,” megumi crosses his arms. 
“okay, then.” 
megumi doesn’t even know why he wanted to talk to gojo in the first place. 
“look,” gojo sighs, his fingers tapping along the body of the chair. he whispers something that sounds suspiciously like “y/n is so much better at this,” and then meets megumi’s eyes—metaphorically, of course. everyone knows that gojo doesn’t have any eyes. “if you want to talk about your parents, we can talk about them. tsumiki asks questions every once in a while. and…” he breaks away, shaking his head. “if there’s something i don’t know, then i'll—we’ll figure it out. i’ve got eyes everywhere.” 
gojo is grinning at his little joke, but megumi’s frown deepens. 
"i don't care about them," he says, again, as a reassurance to them both. 
"they are your parents, you know?" he holds his hands up in defense, probably from the glare megumi is giving him. "i'm just saying. curiosity is normal." 
"how would you know?" 
gojo sighs, tilting his head back. he looks almost hurt. "i'm wise. i've got years of experience on you." 
"no, you don't." 
he shakes his head. "now i'm going to start crying." 
megumi stares at him. if he could trade gojo for literally anyone else in the world, he would. 
and yet, he doesn't want to talk to you about this. he doesn't want to talk at all. and he does. 
at least he knows that gojo won’t take any of this too seriously. that he won’t get to the bottom of the problem, like neither of them wants.
"do you think..." megumi starts, whispering. "do you ever regret taking us in?" 
gojo swallows. he looks almost hesitant to answer, but megumi knows that must be wrong. gojo has never hesitated a moment in his life.
"well, you guys are pretty mean to me. but no, we don't regret it. why would we?" he asks, teasing, like always. "children are for chores." 
megumi shakes his head. 
"you should--" gojo scrunches his nose. "i can get y/n. she's got better answers, anyway." 
"no!" megumi holds his hand out when the man begins to move from the chair, heart racing. "i don't want to talk to her." 
"did something happen with you guys? you think someone might mention it to me..." 
"no, nothing happened. i just... want to talk to you." 
gojo snorts, but he sits back down. "whatever you did, i'm sure it's not that bad. remember that time i set tsumiki's hair on fire when she was gone? that was bad." 
"i didn’t do anything. i'm not like you," megumi scowls, looking away. 
"would you like a reward?" gojo asks, dryly. "most people wouldn't openly admit that. i admire your confidence." 
both of them are silent, megumi considering the consequences of just saying the words out loud, nonetheless to gojo--who definitely won't know what to do with them. 
after a minute, gojo clears his throat. "okay, megumi. my turn. do you regret coming here with me? instead of going with your family? you'd be clan head someday, you know." 
"that place with the freaky shed of weapons you showed me?" 
"yup." 
"no," megumi doesn't have to think about that. "tsumiki's with me here. and i--"
i like it here, he almost slips. i love you guys.
megumi sighs. he doesn't want to say that to gojo. 
but the older man looks like he already knew what he meant, a dumb smile on his face. "good. okay. well, i don't know what's wrong with you," he gives megumi a pointed look, saying that he actually does. "but i'm sure it'll all work out. you've got me here, so there's nothing to worry about. and y/n would kill me if anything happened to you, so. don't worry about your parents, kid." 
megumi blinks at him. because his problems can be summed up with a quick "yeah, that's cool." 
he rolls his eyes. 
gojo's hand nudges his knee. "you can still ask if you want. anytime. we love you, you know? y/n more than me, but still..." 
megumi shakes his head. "well i love her more than you." 
"good. tsumiki's my favorite anyway." 
"good. she's the only one who can deal with you." 
"good," gojo retorts, like a child. 
he leans in, ruffling megumi's hair as he does it. "even if you are pretty annoying, i'll still do some research for you. see about your mom." 
"you don't have to--" 
"i can't pick you up every time you're crying in class," gojo shrugs, so simply. definitely a joke in the words, but no teasing. "and i won't tell y/n. but you should talk to her. she worries." 
"i know." 
gojo smiles. "okay. as long as you know." 
the two of them sit there for a while more, gojo making an awful comment every couple of lapses in silence, megumi answering with an equally sarcastic retort, and the two of them not minding at all. 
and megumi still can't get the question out--are you his mom?--but there's the undeinable feeling that no one else can answer it for him anyway. 
and gojo seems to know that, so he doesn't say anything about it. just lingers there, like an illness, waiting until megumi is okay, or maybe waiting for him to ask something else. 
even though megumi doesn’t want to give the man any credit, he knows that gojo understands a lot more than he lets on. and, just from the weird little prideful looks he gives him every time he says something, megumi knows that he probably gets what this is about.
but if gojo isn’t going to say anything, then neither is he.
still, it’s nice to have him here.
there’s no comforting glances, or squeezing of hands with gojo. no acute words and adept gestures.
megumi has never expected gojo to overcome his tendency towards immaturity, or to become something that he’s simply not.
but there is just this. just the man who’s been there for long enough for megumi to notice. to understand that he’s not going away so easily.
and it’s nice to have you both. (megumi won’t admit that the gratitude he has for his makeshift parents is much stronger, more vehement than any worry about biology, or being left behind).
eventually, megumi's eyes begin to droop, and even though his headache is less stress-induced, it's still there, a gentle pounding at his skull. 
like a reminder that things are going to change, even if he doesn't want them to. that he's growing up, and he can't protect everyone from his emotions forever. 
but megumi doesn't have enough energy to think about it. so he lays down against his pillows, eyelids fluttering open and closed. 
and he can just see it when gojo sneaks out of the room, whistling softly as he leaves, purposefully leaving the door open. 
megumi should've gone to live with that clan. 
*
"hey," you stand from your chair, looking not at satoru, but behind him, like the essence of their conversation is going to follow him through the door. "what'd he want? is he okay?" 
you dance on your feet awkwardly, looking like you were waiting that whole time (you were). 
satoru smiles, leaning on the counter to stare at you, at your nervous little lip bite. "he's fine." 
"is he feeling really sick? he told me he didn't want any medicine, but if he's got a headache or something, then i could give him a pain reliever. did he seem bad? should we take him to the doctor? i can probably schedule an appointment--" 
you're cut off by satoru as he nears you, crushing you against his chest in a hug so tight that it knocks the air from your lungs. 
seriously, jujutsu sorcerers and their sheer amount of muscle training are ridiculous. 
"satoru--" you squeeze out, but he holds you even tighter. 
"it's all good," he says like it's an answer, and he sounds like he knows something that you don't. probably because he does. 
but after a moment you relax into him. even if you have to bribe him with cuddles, someone's going to tell you what's going on... 
*
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angelicyoongie · 5 months
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lovesick (XIII)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 6k — warnings: yandere, obsessive behaviour, other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late.
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You flip to another page in Jungkook's textbook. You absentmindedly worry your bottom lip between your teeth, concentration high, as you look for any information that might be helpful for his assignment.
Despite the pleading look he gave you when he asked for your assistance, you know that he would be able to handle the paper perfectly fine on his own. It feels like another lifetime ago now, but you do remember how quickly he finished up the shared assignment you had in Ms. Eun's class. Jungkook had practically written the whole thing in just a matter of days.
But, even though you know you're not needed, it's still nice to feel included; like you're doing something that matters instead of just wasting away in the cabin. As long as you ignore the crackling fireplace next to you, you can almost imagine that you're back on campus, working with Jungkook in the library like you did back then. You can't even begin to describe how much you miss doing things that aren't just playing house. 
The thought makes a burst of irritation flash through you as you turn to another page, causing you to bite down too hard on the soft flesh of your lip.
Jungkook yelps on the other side of the table as he feels the sting, instinctively touching his mouth in an attempt to soothe the pain. 
"Y/n, are you okay?" He gives you a worried look. 
You release your lip with a soft pop, chuckling awkwardly to hide your souring mood as you say, "Sorry, I think I was concentrating too hard." 
Jungkook furrows his brow with a low hum, eyes lingering on your mouth. You feel like you can see the thought that forms on his face, his eyes lighting up as he gets an idea. 
"Ah!" He makes a small noise, quickly clambering to his feet, "I think I know something that can help. I'll be right back!" 
"Sure," You nod. You plop your head back to rest on the couch behind you, watching out of the corner of your eye as Jungkook hurries to the kitchen. 
You let out a soft sigh when he's out of sight, the sounds of him opening and closing different cupboards fading into the background as you stare up at the ceiling. The past week has been weird. You don't want to call it unexpected based on what caused it, but the last seven days have been surprisingly nice at the cabin. The boys have started giving your tight leash some slack, allowing you to stay in a room alone if they need to leave it to grab something. It's not for more than a few minutes at the time but with how they've been constantly watching you for a month, it's been a more than welcome change. They've given you a sliver of trust and you're finding yourself desperate to hold on to it.
You know what the reason behind it is, of course, you'd be a fool not to. 
The shift was notable in the air that morning you awkwardly shuffled out of Jimin's room, the back of your neck sore from the hickeys he had proudly decorated your skin with. You felt awfully exposed by the six pairs of eyes that scanned you from top to bottom, burning with jealousy as Jimin came up behind you to plant a wet kiss over one of his marks. Namjoon's eye had twitched as he pulled back, Jimin no doubt sporting a smug smile behind your back. 
It had only taken a second before Hoseok had stormed over to wrap you up in a hug, pulling you away from Jimin and over to the rest in the common room. They felt like territorial puppies with the way all of them made sure they got to touch you and hug you as if they were leaving their own marks behind too. As you were passed between arms you kept catching them looking at your neck, their eyes longing. It was only when all the attention started getting a little overwhelming that you ran away to the bathroom, escaping under the guise of needing a shower.
You hadn't had much time to think about what happened with Jimin until you came face to face with yourself in the mirror, the evidence of the night before staring right back at you. Leaning on the sink, you studied how your skin proudly displayed the marks left behind by Jimin's lips, how your eyes held a shine that you hadn't seen in a long while. Your soul and by extension, your body, was glowing in the aftermath of your intimacy with Jimin. 
Guilt climbed its way up your throat so fast it made you gag. You knew that spending the night with Jimin – letting him touch you like that – was terrible, that you were letting yourself down by giving in, but even then you couldn't find it in yourself to hate what had happened. You didn't feel disgusted and that in itself made you feel even more ashamed. How could you not feel bad about letting your stalker, one of your kidnappers, get you off like that? How could you like it? You could blame the bond all you wanted but perhaps it was time to face the fact that you were just weak; easily broken by the connection you had always craved.
You rub your forehead with a sigh. 
Jungkook is humming a low tune in the kitchen, the sound of crinkling plastic accompanying it as he pours something into a bowl. 
You can mull the situation over all you want but you doubt you'll ever get a definitive answer. What you do know is that there is no use denying that your night with Jimin didn't change anything – for them and you. Despite your best efforts, you are starting to grow fond of them and as much as it pains you to admit, you doubt that it'll be the only time you let any of them touch you. Jimin's touch felt right, good, and you're tired of feeling lonely and isolated.
You think the others have noticed your wavering will, their affections increasing in turn. They have slowly been testing your boundaries, stretching them thinner and thinner day by day. You've come to expect the hands that slip under your shirt when someone leans in for a hug, warm fingertips caressing your waist and back as they hold you close. They let their touches linger longer too, gauging how long you'll allow it before you start to grow uncomfortable. Hoseok and Seokjin have taken a particular shine to resting their hand possessively on your thigh whenever they're seated beside you, the placement inching a little higher every time. Even so, there's still some resemblance of respect in their actions, in how they always stop whenever you show signs of discomfort. It's obvious they're impatient to share the same kind of intimacy with you as Jimin did, but they seem to understand that letting you come to them on your own terms is the best option. 
You lift your head as Jungkook returns from the kitchen, straightening yourself up as he rounds the table to plop down next to you on the ground. 
"Here!" He exclaims as he places a bowl in front of you, filled with a colourful variety of your favourite kind of candy. "I brought the chewy gummies you like! If you chew on those then you won't hurt your lip if you get distracted again." 
The unexpectedly sweet gesture sends a rush of warmth through your body, your cheeks heating under Jungkook's adoring gaze. He reaches out, taking your hand in his. A small furrow appears between his brows, his lips pouting slightly as he says, "I saw you spacing out, are you okay?"
"I know you're upset about missing out on so many assignments but you don't have to be! Namjoon hyung has already applied for you to postpone your studies so you won't lose your spot. I'll help you catch up whenever it's time for you to go back, I promise." 
You blink, taken aback that Namjoon had the forethought to do so. You figured you must've already been thrown out of your program by now, having missed out on too many important midterms in just your first month here. The fact that they cared enough about the after to do this for you, does give you a glimmer of hope that you will get out of this cabin at some point, that you will be able to rejoin society in some capacity once they deem you ready – broken – enough. 
Jungkook has such an earnest expression on his face, like he genuinely believes they've done you a favour as he says, "Hoseok hyung even quit your job for you! You don't have to worry about anything, Y/n, we have it all under control." 
They have it under control. The reality of the situation feels like a smack to the face. While their intentions may have been pure, at least in some aspects, the truth is that the boys have been slowly cutting off all and any ties you have to your old life. The implication is obvious; when you're allowed to go back, it won't be to anything you know. 
"What about my apartment?" You ask. 
What about my things? My life?
"We're keeping it for now. It would seem weird if we break the lease early when your friend–" Jungkook cuts himself off with a strangled cough, "I mean, the lease is up in a few months anyway! So Jimin hyung said it's better to just grab the rest of your stuff then." 
Your stomach sinks at the off-handed mention of Heejun and Jaemin. They haven't been brought up at all since that night but you can tell it's only a matter of time before you'll have to reach out to them. The frown on Jimin's face seems to grow deeper with every return from his shift. It's obvious your friends have no intention of backing down and that Jimin is reaching the last of his rope trying to fend them off.
You still have no idea how you're going to successfully get Heejun to back off. You know your friends, you know they'll see right through you if you try to convince them that everything is fine, so how in the world are you going to accomplish this? It's not like you can ask any of the boys for help, either. You're in this alone and only you can keep them out of harm's way. 
You startle slightly as Jungkook squeezes your hand, bringing you out of your ruminating thoughts. 
"Do you know why I'm so close to Dasom noona?" 
It takes you a second to realize that Jungkook has jumped to another topic – that he's talking about Ms. Eun. He's not subtle in his attempt to distract you from your troubled mind, but a small part of you appreciates it all the same. You've been thinking about Heejun and Jaemin so much that you feel like you've started to go backward, like the solution is slipping further away with every new idea that strikes you. 
"No," You shake your head.
"You know I'm not close with my parents, that they didn't treat me well," Jungkook adverts his gaze down to your joined hands, "They have a lot of money, so my aunt and uncle always bent themselves backward trying to cater to their whims. They were desperate for something extra to fill their pockets with so they didn't care that their joy came from my suffering. I wasn't the son my parents wanted, I c-couldn't be. I wasn't perfect, so in their eyes, I wasn't worth the trouble. My parents' obvious distaste for me painted a target on my back and my family is known for being ruthless when there's something they want." 
Jungkook lets out a bitter snort, jaw tense as he soothes his thumb across your knuckles. "The only one that made family gatherings bearable was my oldest cousin – he was too grown to be swayed by my parents. He was the only one that ever cared, the only one that never mocked me for my s-stutter." 
The pain in Jungkook's voice is almost tangible. You can't imagine having your entire family turn against you just because of a small speech disorder; just because you're not cookie-cutter perfect. From the small glimpses Jungkook has shared from his past and tidbits of information you've overheard over the past months, you think it's safe to assume that Jungkook is part of the Jeon family – the ones that run the city, pulling strings behind the curtains without ever showing themselves on stage. They're the definition of old money, seemingly satisfied to have complete control over a decently sized city instead of fighting for power in the major ones. You don't doubt they would be willing to cut Jungkook loose if they notice his strings fraying, desperate to uphold their perfect image. It's clear the trauma of it all runs deep for Jungkook, his stutter always becomes more prominent whenever he brings up his past.
"Oh, Jungkook," You murmur, heart squeezing at how such a sweet person could be so horribly mistreated by his own family. It makes sense that Jungkook would latch on to the other boys so firmly, idolize them, if they're one of the few who have given him the love and comfort he never got at home. 
Jungkook shifts a little closer at the sound of your voice, subconsciously seeking comfort as he picks at old wounds. 
"When my parents finally cut me off and left me to fend for myself, I lived on my cousin's couch for a few months before Seokjin hyung hired me. My cousin had been dating Dasom noona for a little over a year already then, so we had briefly met a few times. I felt terrible for always being in their business but noona said she was always thrilled to see me – that I was like the younger brother she never had," Jungkook smiles softly.
"I moved out as quickly as I could to give them privacy but I never lost touch with them. They're part of the reason I'm able to attend university; they're covering half of my tuition. My cousin held a big speech about how he's investing in the future or something like that, he refused to take no for an answer," He lets out a fond snort, shaking his head. "I really care about them a lot. Hyung and noona are planning on getting married next year, but I hope she keeps her own name. She's too good to be a Jeon." 
"They sound like they're pretty great," You murmur.
"They are," Jungkook agrees. His face suddenly brightens up as he seems to recall a particular memory, "I ran into my mom once, after everything that happened. I was out with hyung and noona, and Dasom noona was amazing at telling her all these half-truths that made it seem like I was thriving without my parents. She insulted my mother to her face over and over in the sweetest way possible and I doubt my mom realized what had even happened until she was already on her way home." 
"Good," You allow your lips to quirk, "I'm glad she stood up for you."
"Yeah," Jungkook glances up at you, his big doe eyes staring you down for a second before he swallows thickly. His cheeks flush as he quietly admits, "Dasom noona was the first person I told about you. I know I shouldn't have but I didn't know how to approach you, so noona offered to help. She came up with the idea to pair us together for our project when I realized we were taking the same class."
"Please don't think too badly of her, she only wanted to help!" He hurries to add, gripping your hand tightly. 
You know Ms. Eun – Dasom – to be impressive just from the many awards and accomplishments she has rightfully displayed around her office. But, listening to Jungkook sing her praises like this, it makes you realize that it takes someone very special to practically adopt your boyfriend's cousin as your own brother and love him as such. It's no wonder they seem so close, why Ms. Eun was so protective of him. Jungkook has a kind heart, she said. Even with his stalker tendencies, you know that to be true. 
"Hyung and noona don't know about our.. uhm, c-circumstances, just that we're spending time together to work on our bond. The wedding will be happening in the spring and noona really wants us to come, if you want to. She's very excited to see you again!" 
Spring. It's not that far away. Maybe four, five months? You have no idea what the boys have planned for you, but Ms. Eun's wedding might be one of your only chances at seeing people again. If you play your cards right, you might even be able to slip away. Escape. 
You try to tamper down the rush of emotion that courses through you, the adrenaline urging you to go go go. Five months is a long time, long enough for you to break, to lose yourself entirely if you're not careful – but also enough to win their full trust. 
"I would love to, Jungkookie," You grin, elated that you finally have something to look forward to. A small light at the end of this endless, dark tunnel.
A brilliant smile blooms on Jungkook's face at the use of his nickname, his eyes sparkling like tiny stars. He drops your hand in favour of wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you to his chest. It's comfortable, comforting even, to feel his muscular arms holding you steady, your chin hooked over his shoulder. Closing your eyes, you melt into Jungkook's embrace, hugging him back. 
"Thank you, Y/n, that's going to make Dasom noona really happy," Jungkook murmurs. He tucks his face against the side of your neck, inhaling deeply before he sighs and says, "And it makes me very happy too."
You make a non-committal sound in return, stroking his back. It's not the wedding you're excited about but there is no way you're going to tell Jungkook that. You know how devastated he'll be once you run away, so you can spare him the hurt for now.
Jungkook isn't innocent in all of this but he isn't the mastermind behind everything either. His betrayal still stings and you think it always will, but the months you've spent here have slowly been mellowing it out, making it more bearable. Enough that you almost find yourself willing to forget about it. 
"Can I ask you something?" Jungkook's voice is soft against your skin.
"Yeah," You say.
"That night with Jimin hyung, did you... did you kiss him? It's okay if you did! I'm just– curious." 
The unexpected question gives you a slight pause. You figured Jimin would've told the others everything by now but it appears he hasn't. You're honestly surprised that vague is even a word in Jimin's dictionary. 
"No, we didn't kiss." 
"That's good. I mean–!" Jungkook pulls back, expression panicked as his gaze flits across your face. "Sorry, that's not what I meant. You're allowed to kiss Jimin hyung or any of the other hyungs if you want, it-it's not my business. Well, it is? But also not!"
"It's okay, Jungkook. What are you trying to say?" You ask, half-amused. 
Jungkook shyly ducks his head, palms warm against your middle as he says, "Sorry. What I want to say is; Can I be the first to kiss you? Please? I-I'd really like that." 
"Yeah," You breathe, the answer coming a little too easy, a little too quickly, "You can kiss me." 
You can perhaps fool yourself into thinking it's all just a means to an end, but the way your heart skips a beat as Jungkook brings a hand up to cup your face, fingers shaking, doesn't lie. You want to kiss him. Perhaps it's your soulbond, perhaps it's just Jungkook, but a part of you likes him. Enough to make your heart flutter whenever he's near.
Jungkook always looks at you so reverently – like you're something precious. Something to be cherished. 
You can't help it. You're only human, after all, seeking love and comfort where it's easily available to you. 
He wets his lips, nervous, as he slowly begins to lean in. His brown eyes are glued to your mouth, wide and wondrous as if he can't believe that he's allowed to kiss you.  
Your eyelids flutter shut as Jungkook thumbs across your cheek, tilting your head just so before he presses his lips to yours. The kiss is soft, warm, and Jungkook's mouth tastes faintly of something sweet. He moves his mouth cautiously against yours, testing the waters for what you'll permit.
There are no sparks that fly when your lips meet, no fireworks that ignite behind your closed eyes – but a steady warmth that slowly engulfs you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It feels like part of you is coming home, like an important piece is slotting into place. Your head feels light and airy, heart thumping in your chest as if it's trying to reach out for Jungkook. 
You clutch the back of his shirt, leaning into the kiss to deepen it. Jungkook lets out a soft whimper when you part your mouth, your tongue teasing at his bottom lip until he lets you in. You're not sure if it's Jungkook's breaths or yours that are shaky when you slip inside, your tongue brushing just the faintest touch against his. 
"Y/n," Jungkook suddenly pulls back with a gasp. 
You open your eyes to find Jungkook's screwed shut as if he's in pain, cheeks flushed as he quickly retreats his hands into his lap. 
"Are you okay?" You hesitate to reach out to touch him again, having yanked them away at the sound of his gasp. You tentatively settle a hand on Jungkook's knee, seeing his nose scrunch as he lets out a labored breath. 
"I'm fine," Jungkook awkwardly shifts away from your touch, his hands moving just enough to expose the bulge straining against his jeans. 
"Oh," You clear your throat, heat rushing up the back of your neck. You barely kissed and Jungkook is this affected by it? 
"Have you not?–" 
"No. I've been with people before, it's j-just–" Jungkook shakes his head, biting his lip in embarrassment at having to clarify that he's not a blushing virgin, it's just that, "It's not the same. Everything feels more when it's with you." 
"Jungkook," You breathe, a little stricken at the confession. It's hard for you to fathom that your kiss was that special. You don't feel the bond in the same way as they do, your feelings dulled by six other souls pulling you in their direction. For the first time since all of this started, you almost feel bad for them. You can almost understand their desperation in wanting to share something with you, even if they know you'll never fully feel the same way as they do. 
"Please, um– Just excuse me for a minute? I-I need to go deal with this," Jungkook seems too lost in his embarrassment to have picked up on your mood shift. His eyes stay glued to the floor as he jumps up, hands awkwardly covering his crotch as he hurries to the bathroom. 
You slump back down against the couch, dragging a hand over your face. You slow as you reach your mouth, lips tingling as you press on the soft flesh. You shouldn't have kissed him. You shouldn't have let Jimin touch you either. But it's too late to change any of it. And the matter of the fact is that you wanted it – them. It's exhausting having to war with yourself over every single decision you make, especially when you know that your control over them is very limited. You're only trying to make the best out of your situation, to keep everyone you love safe. Perhaps losing yourself in the process isn't the worst sacrifice.
You reach out for the gummies Jungkook left with a shake of your head, unwrapping one and popping it into your mouth. A sour-y-sweet filling is released as you bite into it, coating your tongue as you mindlessly chew on the candy. You swear you have tasted that slight strawberry flavour somewhere else, somewhere more recently. It's not until the gummy is gone and you swipe your tongue over your lips to catch the last of the sticky filling that it hits you. 
Of course.
You throw your head back with a groan, muttering a curse under your breath. 
 It tastes like Jungkook. 
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The air in the common room feels suffocating. It's only a few days after your talk, and kiss, with Jungkook that you find yourself here; sitting on the couch in the middle of Seokjin and Taehyung, the rest spread out in a janky circle around the coffee table. Your gaze finds Jimin's as he steps forward, his expression carefully blank as he places your phone down in front of you. Your fingers twitch in your lap, itching to grasp onto the freedom that is now so close, yet so far away. 
Seokjin seems to mistake the motion for nerves as he gently takes one of your hands in his, rubbing soothing circles into your skin. "It's going to be okay," He murmurs, mindful of the tense atmosphere. 
They're all here to oversee your call to Heejun, to make sure you don't attempt to drop any hints of what's really going on. It's obvious that they don't like Jimin's idea, that they're scared of something going wrong, but it's the best option you have. Heejun will never stop looking for you unless you give him a reason to do so. This is easier for all of you and less messy. The boys will finally get rid of the one person that's trying to ruin their plans and you won't have to live with your friend's murder on your conscience. It's a fucked up, terrible, win-win.
"Whenever you're ready," Namjoon nods.
You reach out for your phone with a trembling hand, picking it up. It feels almost foreign to hold a phone after so long, your fingers clumsy as you type in your password. You balance it on your knee, your other hand still occupied by Seokjin. His grip is tight, tense, like he's hoping it'll prevent you from doing something stupid.
You brush your finger across the screen, aiming for the phone but the slight shake to it makes you accidentally touch your texts instead. Your stomach drops as you quickly scan down the list of unanswered messages; Heejun and Jaemin have sent you the most, but your friends at work are a close second. You can see that the last text in the group chat with your parents is from you – the message only a few days old. You're certain Namjoon is the one behind it.
You swallow thickly, heart aching, as you swipe out of the app. You miss your parents and your friends something terribly, but all of this is for them. You're the only one that can keep them safe.
You quickly switch over to your calls, thumb hovering over Heejun's name and the hundreds of missed calls next to it. Jaemin has placed nearly as many, as if Heejun figured you might pick up his boyfriend's calls instead of his. It's such a Heejun thing to do that it makes your chest tighten. 
"Go on, angel," Seokjin says, squeezing your hand.
You suck in a deep breath as you tap his contact, quickly putting the call on speakerphone. Part of you hopes he won't pick up, that perhaps it'll spare your heart some pain if you don't hear his, but the much bigger part of you prays that he will. You need to hear that he's okay.
As the loud rings echo in the quiet cabin, your hands begin to clam up, your heart thumping harshly against your chest. It rings once, twice–
Heejun picks up, sounding breathless as he says, "Y/n?"
The sound of his voice wraps you in a chokehold. The glass walls you've built around yourself in an attempt to pretend that everything is fine come tumbling down in an instant, shattering into the silence. 
"It's me," You rasp.
"Y/n, gods! What happened? Are you okay? Where are you, we've been worried sick that–" Heejun rambles quickly and the poor service you have out here in the woods struggles to pick up on all of his questions. 
You glance up as you notice Jimin shifting on his feet, his previously blank expression growing more and more annoyed with every question Heejun fires off. Not good. 
"Heejun," You cut him off, barely more than a whisper, but your best friend goes quiet immediately, "I'm okay."
You hear Heejun let out a rough sigh. He sounds pained as he says, "I don't believe you." 
Taehyung's hands curl into fists, vexed that Heejun isn't accepting your story as easily as they had hoped for. 
"Trust me," You plead, eyes flickering between Jimin and Taehyung's evident annoyance.
Please trust me, please, please, please.
"How?" Heejun huffs, "You've been gone for months – months! – without a word! The last thing you told me was that your stalker was after you and then you're suddenly gone! Disappeared off the face of the earth. Y/n, please, what's going on?" 
"I–" You falter, the explanation you had come up with only hours before stuck in the back of your throat. You don't want to lie. You want Heejun to know – to know that you're not okay, that you don't want to be here, but you can't. You can't and you think lying might tear your heart apart. 
There's an ominous silence on the other side of the phone, the line so quiet you're worried he might have ended the call. Heejun's voice is hard, seething, as he finally asks, "Is he there?" 
Jungkook straightens up in his chair, doe eyes wide with panic. Seokjin's grip on your hand grows so tight you think he might be cutting your circulation off, the tips of your fingers taking on an ashy tint. Yoongi and Namjoon look like they're two seconds away from jumping over the table to take your phone back, their bodies taut with tension as they stare you down. 
"No," You rush out, clutching your phone as hard as you can. "Heejun, I–I chose to run away." The lie feels like it's flaying your throat open as you force it out. 
"Y/n, please–"
"Listen to me," You say, the desperation in your voice catching Heejun's attention, "I ran away because I didn't want you or Jaemin or anyone else to get hurt. This was the best thing I could do. It was the only thing I could do." 
You screw your eyes shut, swallowing hard. You know this is the only thing Heejun will believe. There's no way in hell he would ever accept you just growing bored of him or losing interest in your friendship – the only thing that would ever convince him is self-sacrifice. Gods knows you've both done your fair share of that over the years. 
Heejun pauses. "But why take so long to reach out to me?"
"I couldn't. Things had to settle down first. I'm so sorry, I wanted to, but–" You cut yourself off, "I'm sorry."
"I don't care about all of that, I just care about you, Y/n. Are you safe?" 
Are you?
The cabin is so silent you could hear a pin drop. You seek comfort in the darkness behind your closed lids, biting down on the inside of your cheek so hard you know that it hurts the others. The truth is this; the situation you're in is not safe, but you also know that the boys would never intentionally hurt you. Your bond is too strong to ever allow that to happen. In some ways you are safe, in others, you are not. 
You can settle for a half-truth then, just like those Ms. Eun is so good at inventing.
You open your eyes slowly, skin crawling as you stare down at the floor and say, "Yes. I'm safe right now." 
".. Okay," Heejun murmurs. You can't quite tell if he believes you or not. 
The boys let out a collective sigh of relief, some of the tension draining out of their bodies. You notice Jimin giving you a sign to hurry up out of the corner of your eye, your pulse kicking up speed as you realize your time with Heejun has come to an end. 
"I have to go," You choke.
Heejun tries to protest, but you cut him off. The longer the conversation goes on, the higher the risk of him figuring out that something is wrong.
"I'm sorry. I'll call you again later, okay? I promise. Just.. take good care of yourself and Jaemin. I'll come find you when it's time. I miss you," Your voice wavers as your vision grows cloudy, tears blurring your sight.
You don't want to let him go, you don't want this to be the last time you ever hear his voice. You miss him and you're scared. Scared that things will never go back to what they were. 
"Miss you too. Please be safe, Y/n. Protect yourself, not us, okay?" Heejun sounds defeated, as sad and broken, as you feel. 
I can't promise you that. 
"Bye, Heejun," You whisper instead, a half-sob. You hear your own name being murmured back at you as you touch the red button to end the call, the line going dead. 
"Was it enough?" You sound feeble even to your own ears. 
"I think so. We'll find out soon. As long as your friends don't show up at the station anymore, we should be fine," Jimin says. His mouth is downturned, upset, like he doesn't like seeing you cry.
You can only nod in return, not trusting your voice.
Hoseok steps closer, gently taking the phone out of your trembling hand. He hands it off to Namjoon before he settles his fingers on the top of your head, stroking your hair. He hushes you as the first tear escapes you, voice tender and proud as he says, "You did well, sunshine." 
You feel sick. You want to scream and claw at the hands touching you, you want to pull your own treacherous heart from your chest and stomp on it until it stops beating for them and it's yours again. The emotions bubbling up under your skin feel like burning hellfire, scorching your insides. You hate this. You don't want this and yet–
The fire quells as more hands reach out to touch you, to comfort you.
Taehyung pulls you into his lap, rocking you gently as you begin to sob. You should be running away, but instead, you find yourself curling closer to his chest, seeking his warmth. He presses fluttering kisses to your hair, murmuring about how good you are, how perfect, how well they're going to take care of you.
And for the first time since you woke up trapped in the cabin, you actually want to believe him.
Anything to make your reality hurt a little less. 
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a/n: happy new year!! lovesick is finally back after a few intense months of exams and other happenings. this chapter shed some more light on jungkook's backstory and he even got the first kiss from the mc! the conversation with heejun was the final nail in the coffin so to speak for the mc, so we'll see her being more open to accepting the boys' affection from here on out. the poor girl is starting to get worn down :( the next chapter will be more taegi-focused and the mc will finally learn more about their soulbond!
please leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed the chapter!! it means so much to me 💖
(and you know the drill, please excuse any mistakes until i have time to go through and edit!)
778 notes · View notes
lunargrapejuice · 1 year
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Aaaa I would love maybe a fic? With satoru gojo and non-sorcerer s/o who are forced into an arranged marriage. And s/o wants to make it work but satoru is a brat and refuses to be nice to her but he can't deny his growing feelings for her because she is a lovely girl and then maybe something happens like a curse attack and he almost loses her and feels very guilty for how he's been acting and confesses? Happy ending please
I love angst to fluff stories so much
Thankyou in advance! I love your writing
will you spend the night and maybe your life with me?
satoru gojo x fem!reader | 9.1k+ words
warnings: arranged marraige au, brat!gojo, sweet+patient!reader, hurt/comfort, mentioned of neglectful/hurtful marriage, blood and injury mentions, feral gojo, the fushiguro kids are basically yours so a little found familyish i couldn't help myself, uhh i think that's all but please let me know if i missed anything!
authors note: so um. i think i got a little carried away with this one and i love it and am so exctied about it hehe i hope you enjoy it! <3 thank you so much for your kind words and for requesting something babes!🥺💕
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satoru always wondered if before your wedding you were aware that your to-be husband was not happy about being wed. not when this decision was forced upon him by his family and the higher ups of the jujutsu world. he wondered if you blame him for his actions, for his shitty attitude that showed every bit of his distaste, if you wished to marry someone you loved, someone who could treasure your heart and give you their own in return. but surely you had known, just as he had, that you would be married off for politics whether you liked it or not, that marrying for love was not in the cards.
for these many months he can’t say he’s made it easy for you, he knows he hasn’t, and yet you’ve kept smiling, kept being your caring and loving self and putting effort into a man that thus far hadn’t given you much in return. you put up with his lack of kindness, kept welcoming him home and bidding him sweet dreams before sleeping in separate rooms even though for far longer than he’d like to admit now he never said anything in return. you kept leaving sweets on his desk when you knew he’d be up late doing the paperwork he’s always been putting off when he’s never once thanked you for it. he watched you love the fushiguro children just as he had and made him question if perhaps you could love him too.
the first time the question came to mind, when you had scolded both him and megumi for doing something reckless with no anger but rather genuine worry in your eyes, it was the quickest of thoughts. one he pushed out and forgot just as easily as it had come before brushing off everything you said about being more careful to him and megumi. but as more time passed, as you continued to be your lovely self, the thought kept coming, staying for longer, evolving into more questions like.. could he love you- was he already falling in love with you when he was supposed to loathe you? pretend to play the loving and doting husband in public when at home you used to be nothing but strangers but he hates the thought of that now.
being a stranger to your kindness, ignorant of your smile, never being blessed with the melody of your laugh.. he could hardly imagine his life without you but after spending so long rejecting you, pushing you away, was it too late to make amends, to maybe have you love him in return?
right now, while he was trying to sleep, was not the time to be deciding on such things. not when he felt it easier to give in under the light of the moon on your skin and your cute sleepy voice. yet he was restless, his thoughts wandering back to you; if your room felt as soon as his did, if you had eaten dinner alone or with the kids since he hadn’t made it back from his mission until late, if he had even spoken to you at all today except for the text he sent telling you not to wait up for him when you asked if he’d be home for dinner.
brought from his thought, his cerulean eyes are drawn to his closed door, his attention peaked at quiet footsteps and the lights in the kitchen being turned on and dimmed. he taps the screen of his phone to see the time; 2:27 am and doesn’t think twice before getting up from bed and going to the kitchen himself, not caring about putting a shirt on.
you don’t seem to notice him leaning against the wall with his hands in his sweats pockets as you sip a glass of water, your lower back resting against the kitchen island. you're in an oversized shirt and tiny shorts that makes his gaze linger on your body, in your pretty frame, but when he comes back to your face he notices the tears streaming down your cheeks, the tremble of your hands.
lifting from his spot he calls your name, more gentle than he remembers doing before and finds himself frowning at your reaction.
“oh!” you stand a little straighter, put your cup down, try to pretend tears aren’t clinging to your lashes and smile even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. “i’m sorry satoru, i didn’t mean to wake you.”
“you didn’t,” he says, deciding to close the distance between you. he’s always been quite soft to the tears of others but with you.. the sight sinks into his heart like claws of a nasty curse and makes him nearly irrational in the way he would do anything to make your tears stop. your eyes widen a bit in surprise at how close he is to you but you don’t back away from him, don’t resist him when he towers over your shorter frame and reaches for your cheek to wipe a tear you couldn’t hold back. “what's wrong?”
“it’s nothing,” you try to brush it off still with that fake smile and he hates it.
“you’re a terrible liar,” he voice is soft, playful, hopefully hiding the feelings of his heart tightening in his chest and the way his fingers twitch against your skin as he tries to swallow it down. what were you doing to him..
“am not!”
cute, he thinks at your pout and glaring eyes with no bite behind them, though he must admit he much prefers when you smile at him.
is all of you this soft? he ponders as his touch ghosts along the skin of your cheek to under your jaw, curled fingers resting there, keeping your gaze lifted and on him but you could easily pull away if you really wanted to.  
“tell me, please,” again he’s speaking so tenderly, with a smile that was meant to fluster, maybe even comfort you and by your reactions anyone could tell how foreign this is to you both. your cheeks flush with warmth and you try to hide your eyes from him, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt while deciding what to do, what to say, but you still don’t pull away from his grasp and he’s resisting the urge to pull you closer, to kiss your forehead and tell you it’s okay, the strongest was your husband after all, all the while unable to stop his deepening breaths. 
if this was at the beginning of your marriage satoru isn’t sure he would have checked on you. even just a few weeks ago he would have been asking himself how much he should hold back his affections, his comfort, if something like this were to happen but he isn’t sure he could do that anymore, hold back, and those questions hadn’t passed his mind since you saw your sad state tonight.
“it was just a silly nightmare,” you eventually say, quiet and weak. you still don’t look at him but there's no hiding the way you bite at your bottom lip. “i’ll be fine, i just need a few minutes to calm down more.”
“i’ll stay with you then.”
your eyes shoot back to him, confusion and surprise painted on your face and he’s surprised too. what reason would you have for feeling comfort within him or wanting it in the first place? he knows you have every right and reason to tell him no but he just.. doesn’t want to see you cry anymore and he would do anything to take your sorrow away even though all he had to offer you right now was himself. 
“a- are you sure?” you stutter, nervousness laced in every word and fuck you look like you’re going to start crying all over again but he knows he deserves this, the guilt building within him. “you don’t have to-”
he pulls you into him before you can talk either of you out of this, effectively cutting off your words and pressing you against his chiseled chest. “come one y/n. can’t a husband want to comfort his wife? indulge me, yeah?”
he still feels shitty but the heat of your cheeks against his chest, the speechlessness he rendered in you is quite the stroke to his ego and he knows he’s won you over, at least for tonight, as you wrap your arms around him and rest your palms against his bare back. 
it’s quiet, the muted sounds of your breaths and beating hearts in both your ears and as minutes pass, satoru feels you relax against him and decides he’s going to try pushing his indulgence more, actually try to be a nice and loving husband. the husband he should have been from the start..
“let’s go lay down,” he suggests and you tiredly nod in agreement, letting him go too quickly, before he unwraps his own arms, but he doesn’t stray far from your side.
turning off the kitchen lights behind him, he follows you into your bedroom like a lost puppy. if he’s being honest, he hasn’t spent much time in here despite it being right next to his own room and as he slips into bed beside you, the sheets of his own wife so unfamiliar to him, he hopes you’ll tell him if this isn’t what you want but more than that, he hopes you won't reject him. not like he had to you for these months when you didn’t deserve it..
“satoru, you - you really don’t have-” you stammer as he collects you in his arms, pressing your back against his chest, not a bit of infinity between you as he spoons your smaller frame, collecting your heat. normally he’d have a smirk tugging his lips at your shyness, how easily flustered you become while still clinging to him, but more than anything he cuts you off because he didn’t want to hear your finish telling him he doesn’t have to.
he knows he doesn’t. who knows how many nights you’ve cried alone in this bed but he won’t let that happen anymore, not as long as you were his.
“i said i’d stay with you, didn’t i?”
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satoru has always had a specific vision on what love is and he knows he has loved. like in the way he loves his students, his friends, two strong, amazing, children and sweet mochi. he knows that love isn’t painted in roses and blanketed in crystalline sugar, especially when you were a sorcerer. love is complicated, messy. love is a curse. but it's more medeled now, tempting to give into, with his inability to deny what’s in front of him, with the way his heart reacts to you. 
or in this case, the way it reacts to the absence of you.
it’s been a few weeks since you had that nightmare and he held you till morning, his hands caressing and soothing you for long after you fell asleep. the following nights he found himself back in your bed even though neither of you spoke about it, but you hadn’t protested either. the last night before this work trip you had whispered his name in your sleep, reached out and clung to him, when you stirred as he joined you after a late night dealing with curses. the past three nights he's been far from home, as work often took him, and more restless than he’s been in a long time.
he can’t ignore or distract himself from how often you pop up in his mind throughout the day, enough so he’s going through his phone pictures as he’s being driven from place to place and frowning at how little pictures of you there are in his album. he had started taking more of you recently, most of which when you weren’t looking or weren’t aware you had captured your husband's eyes but it didn’t feel like enough. throughout the day he's missing you and your smile and the texts you scarcely send to each other aren’t long or personal enough to make him feel even a little better. he’s coming to realize how much more he preferred to have you sleeping next to him rather than sleeping alone and the way it could make him hustle to finish this assignment just to get home a little quicker. tomorrow he'll return to tokyo, a day before he was supposed to, but even that thought can’t stop the bubbling pot of his heart and the lid that rocks anxiously at the thought of you and your marriage thus far. 
in the quietness of his dim hotel room, the food he didn’t have the appetite to eat cold on the table in front of the chair he sits in, satoru fiddles with his phone between long fingers and wonders what you’re doing right now, if you miss him too, if it’s too late for you-
love was messy and complicated indeed but as his phone rings twice and a moment later his reflection is replaced with your visage, that anxious rocking simmers.
“hey satoru,” you smile as you say his name, not noticing how he returns it in full with your eyes focused elsewhere.
your phone wiggles from side to side while tsukimi adjusts it to rest on the ledge of the kitchen window in front of the sink. you must have just finished with dinner, washing the dishes while the kids cleaned up behind you.
“hi sugar.” oh that gets your attention just as he hoped. he can hear the clattering of dishes as you drop them, see the flush of your cheeks through the camera and how adorably shy you are when you look up at him finally and see he’s without his blind fold, eyes soft and locks of snowy white hair resting over his eyebrows. his attention is fully on you and it seems to be the giggles of the teenage girl whipping off the counter near you that snaps you back to reality and causes you to return your attention back to the dishes, trying to hide your embarrassment.
“is everything okay?” you ask, that cute shyness to your voice.
of course it was just like you to worry for him, even if he didn’t deserve it.
“other than the fact i’m missin’ home, yeah.” home, he chooses because even though he was missing you, and meant his answer just the same, his stubbornness had him holding back.
while you finish the dishes you chit chat, the kids interrupting every now and again to talk to him or you about one thing or another until you were all giggling and he was aching to teleport back home, to be there drying plates that you hand him until you’re swaying in the kitchen to music that isn’t playing anywhere but your hearts and the kids are calling you gross before going to their own rooms. 
he had never done that before but as he watched you all through his phone screen, he hoped it wasn’t too late for that with you.
“how was your day?” he asks when you grab your phone from the window seal, probably ready to say goodnight to him but he wasn’t nearly satisfied with this short interaction. 
“well.. megumi got in trouble at school again today,” you sigh and shake your head, the background behind you changing from the kitchen to your bedroom, the lights in the far hallway from the kids room flickering on before they close their doors. he’s sure you handled megumi in your elegant way that both the boys have learned they aren’t immune to. 
satoru chuckles. “did he give you any trouble?”
“you know he’s not really like that with me,” you smile, genuine and sweet and god he wishes he could kiss your lips. “he only gives you trouble because you’re just as bad as he is.. maybe worse.” you giggle at that last part and there is no way denying or ignoring the way it makes him burst with warmth.
“oh yeah?” he teases right back. “bet you’re missing your annoying husband though, huh?”
maybe he shouldn’t have said that because your prolonged silence made his throat feel tight, his palms sweaty but before he can say anything to make up for it, to change the subject, you reply, not looking at the camera.
“.. the house is lonelier when you’re not here,” you admit, quiet and low. “i guess i’ve gotten a little used to sharing a bed with you.”
so you were having a hard time sleeping without him too..
“me too,” he admits, letting out a sigh like your confession had lifted a weight off his chest, pumped hope into his veins. would you care to know just how much he misses you? “but i’ll be home soon so just wait a little longer for me, yeah?”
“o-okay.”
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to the surprise of many satoru was at jujutsu tech reporting on his mission right on time, though he was leaving just as swiftly as he came. he purposely didn’t tell you he’d be coming home one day early because he knew you’d be coming to the school tomorrow to bring megumi to train with some of the other students. it would still be another two year before megumi was a first year himself but he had gotten plenty acquainted with the current first years through satoru. he wanted to surprise you, whisk you away while the kids were busy and before more work could come his way, try to ease the longing in his chest that had weighed on him like a boulder since he spent that first night without you beside him.
but what weighed on him when he saw you, unaware of your husband's arrival and under the attention of one of the new teachers, was much much worse and far nastier than his yearning. it was ugly and all consuming and made his mind run so quickly he was going to get whiplash. 
the man couldn’t be any more obvious that he was flirting with you and it made satoru seeth, his chest filling with deep, hot breaths. couldn’t he see the wedding band on your finger? as a non sorcerer you weren’t entirely a part of the jujutsu world yourself so maybe he could justify that this man simply didn’t know who you were but even when you likely had not wanted to, you were always diligent in wearing the proof of your commitment.
the proof that you were his, the one and only mrs. gojo. 
and what were you doing? laughing and talking with this man like you were so familiar, more familiar than you were to your own husband. 
were you so fed up with satoru but so unwilling to end your arranged marriage that you’d go behind his back like this and entertain another person? if he was in a more calm state of mind he could be more rational, remind himself that this was not in your nature, not even with the way he had treated you had you ever been a person he thought would cheat. but with so much uncertainty between you two, the way he refused to admit those three words despite the fact he found them occupying his heart and mind anytime he thought of you, how he had no idea how you felt in return because he had forced you to shut yourself away..
the man reaches for you, helping you brush a stay piece of hair from your face to behind your ear and lingers with a smile that satoru swore he would wipe right off his smug face. your fingers touch, the man lacing his between yours for a moment before you pull away with burning cheeks.
satoru feels like he’s losing it, losing you, letting his emotions guide him to your side to snake a hand around your waist and step so very close, not letting the breeze between you, using his other hand to lift your chin and bring you in for a soft and fleeting kiss. 
“i’m home baby,” he coos before kissing your cheek, a little for show but mostly because the only thing he had the will to hold back right now was his physical strength.
“s-satoru!” you’re beyond flustered, he can feel the beating of your heart through your clothes and the shake of your hands that hold onto his dark jacket.
he doesn’t give you much more time to say or do anything else before he looks down at the man you were speaking with and even through his blind fold you could tell how serious, how intimidating, his expression was. he held onto you so protectively, powerful hands sinking into your skin like you would slip through his grasp if he let you go but soft enough you wouldn’t break under the pressure. the way you don’t push away, don’t fight him and keep holding onto his jacket, your eyes only on your husband, are the only things grounding him from losing it completely.. 
“keep your hands off of my wife,” he spits like venom, accentuating the last part especially so before whisking you away without saying another word and he doesn’t say anything to you either the farther and farther you get from the man. you nearly trip over your feet trying to follow his long strides as he's huffing and practically dragging you along with him with a large hand around your wrist.
“satoru, please slow down. what’s wrong?” your words fall on deaf ears. he isn’t hearing anything but his own echoing thoughts and his unsteady, drumming, heartbeat until you’re in a quiet and secluded place on campus and he finally looks at you, so many emotions written on your face; confusion, fear, worry.
“what in the world has gotten into you?” you ask, trying to catch your breath.
“you’re mine,” his profession is muffled and near inaudible under his steaming breaths, not a bit of his sanity returning with how it looks like he’s scared you, how he’s coming to realize he might have lost you long ago and didn’t know it. “what were you doing letting him hit on you like that?” he hardly knows what he’s saying, the words coming out without thinking.
“are you serious?” you ask, devastation laced in your tone. “he was just being nice and if he wasn’t.. it’s not like i was.. why.. why do you care?”
“you’re my wife!”
“when has that ever mattered? that's never stopped you from flirting with anyone before and i.. i’ve never said anything..”  tears start to pool in your eyes and the last bit of the grip he’s had on this situation slips completely. please don’t cry.. i know i’ve fucked up but.. “even when it hurt i didn’t..”
“it’s not like i asked to marry you - but-”
before he can tell you, but that was back then because he hadn’t looked into another's way since these feelings started; before he can realize what he’s said and the way it would hurt you further, you interrupt, unable to hold back your tears.
“i didn’t ask for this either satoru,” your voice is broken and he knows every waver behind it and your tears are full of months worth of bottled up emotions from when you smiled despite his bullshit. “..but i'm trying.” in a matter of painfully slow seconds you're sobbing as you rip your wrist from his grasp and he feels his heart cracking, the cold nail of your withdrawal striking against the pumping muscle. “i.. just..” it's as though you want to say more and even if there wasn’t a lump in his throat making him utterly speechless, he wouldn’t have interrupted, he would have let you scream and yell and spew hurtful words. “i have to go..”
that nail digs deeper and he fights it, reaches for you and calls your name, feeling it stop when he’s met with the softness of your skin but the strongest strike, the blow that embeds it deep, was the way you cry out his name, begged him to let you go with crystalline tears flowing uncontrollably from your eyes and down your cheeks.
“satoru, let me go! please!”
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you know you should be used to his hurtful words by now. they’ve been thrown at you for months, if he chose to speak to you at all. though you can admit that things have gotten better, if not a bit confusing. you would never deny your marriage was turning around, not when weeks ago you weren’t sure if you were going to survive not divorcing and avoid facing the consequences of that with both your families but now you felt yourself genuinely and completely falling for your husband. 
yes he was so unbelievably handsome, charming to match, well, when he wanted to be. anyone could see that but the longer you were married to satoru the more you saw his heart, despite the fact he thought he was hiding it from you. he couldn’t hide the way he loved the fushiguro children and had since he started to look after them or the way he turned younger, more reckless around shoko, a reminder of more carefree years. in short and infrequent moments sometimes his heart was opened to you too and during those times, when you weren’t his enemy but rather a part of his family, made you wonder what it might be like had you had a normal marriage and married satoru for love or fell in love somewhere in the mess of how it started.
it was a ridiculous thought. you knew it would never be like that, you didn’t ask that of him and you didn’t entirely blame him for his behavior. he had chosen not to be nice but it was just like you to be patient, understanding and kind. by being the one he was forced to marry, you did understand why that dislike would be directed at you even though you know it didn’t make it fair, didn’t make it okay. 
after all of that, months of feeling like a burden to the strongest sorcerer in the world, you didn’t expect to find yourself wanting, maybe even needing, your husband or that he might want you too. he had been around so much more recently, whether it had been him coming home in time to have dinner with you nearly every night or to be sleeping next to you or spending all night facetiming with you while he was on a trip until you fell asleep, like he had last night. but those feelings he had made bloom within you brought with them greater pain when hurtful reminders of the truth of your commitment came back to the surface.
‘i didn’t ask for this.’
how many times had you heard that by now? you had stopped keeping count, for your own sanity, but this time had by far been the worst. you fought so damn hard not to cry, to stay strong but still you burst into more tears than you wanted to shed in front of him.
maybe it was time to give up, consequences be damned.. how much more did you really have in you? how were you supposed to get through these mixed signals and still leave with your heart intact? and why did it break it further to see the pain written on his face when you ran from him? 
you weren’t sure you could bear to be home, not when there were reminders of satoru everywhere, including your bedroom now as some of his nightstand items had made it to your room and had kept you company in his absence the past few days.. an absence that would apparently be longer even though you still missed him. he would show up there eventually anyways, was maybe there now but at this moment you didn’t have it in you to fight more, to be reminded of how little you meant to your husband when all this time you would have done anything to be sure he was happy too. when you found yourself holding him closer and closer to your heart.
you can admit that you didn’t handle your last interaction with your husband the best either though. asking why he cared when you knew the reason didn’t really matter. what reason had you had to hurt over the others he flirted with other than the fact he was your husband on paper? you had just never acted on the emotions swirling within you during those times aside from crying alone and by yourself but satoru was never really one to hold back. and the way it made you feel when he proclaimed you as his in such a way, when he held you so close to him, kissed you like he hadn’t before, like you really were his and he didn’t intend to let you go. it made you happy, confused and upset all at once.
was it all just for show? but then why comfort you after a nightmare or do any of the more thoughtful gestures he had shown recently? you had hardly seen his eyes ever that soft for you before, maybe in moments of pity then, but that wasn’t what this was and like the waters filled with the bluest stars and galaxies, you waded into their azure depths. found comfort in its warmth and the way he wrapped you in the protective blanket of his arms. you woke up with him still sleeping soundly, peacefully, while holding you and hadn’t had the bed to yourself since.
he seemed sweeter after that; hardly ever missing dinner, especially when he knew you’d be eating alone when the kids couldn’t join you. his texts throughout the day became more frequent, less transactional and though it still happened from time to time, his stinging words became less harsh. and when he called you last night, you hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, how you both lost track of the time until you woke up with your phone in your hand and a goodnight text sent after he had hung up. things almost felt normal, like maybe you really could be friends but there was no denying that your heart was feeling much more than that. still, you were cautious, kept your feelings closed off and hidden but you now realize somewhere along the way it wasn’t enough, not when it could let those painful reminders dig their way deep into your flesh in a way it hadn’t before.
satoru once told you, within the first few days of your marriage, that he had no intention of ever loving you and that you shouldn’t try loving him either. that love was a curse that wasn’t worth his trouble when it came to you.
perhaps you were finally understanding what he meant and were ready to give up, but after all this effort.. would it be easier for the both of you to not be tied together, burdened by your growing feelings when he would never feel the same? or would you become the curse of his life because you had done the one thing he had told you not to do, fall for him, and continued to try to make it work despite it?
instead of going home you let your aimless feet carry you, just as your mind carried away your many thoughts until your tears stopped, until your heart numbed and you were left feeling empty and tired. there were so many quiet whispers in the back of your mind, worries and reminders of your failing arrangement, so many questions without answers but you tried to shake them off, tried to quiet them so you could have a moment to just breathe. maybe then you could try to make sense of it all, though you weren’t sure you would ever understand all of the different emotions satoru was putting you through.
you aren’t really sure where you’ve ended up, somewhere on a cold bench as the afternoon turned to evening. you ignored the way your phone rang and the pings of the messages that came through. right now you didn’t have the energy or strength to do anything, are on the verge of giving up when your heart is screaming that you couldn’t possibly and all you can do is sit in your loneliness, back to more familiar times in your marriage, as you watch people pass you by.
in the end, when the evening sky began to cover the city in colder air and little light, you knew it was time to go home, to face this even if you weren’t ready to. maybe it would be easier if this was older times, when you knew you could walk through the front door with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks but it wouldn’t make satoru look your way. so you could hide away, pretend you weren’t breaking on the inside until you could face him with a smile again. but it couldn’t be like that anymore, not when the cause of your pain had also become your comfort, your most restful nights on hard days, the giggles you erupt in when he’s being silly and teasing, the person you wanted to hold you when dark fog surrounded you and threatened to swallow you whole.
you’re surprised to see the time on your phone, how late it actually is and just how many messages have come through. the latest one being from satoru; y/n please come home
it makes your heart feel like it’s beating again and you don’t know if it's good or bad, if you feel better or worse. all you knew is your chest aches and you do want to be home even if it scares you to not know what’s waiting for you; the satoru that seems to have grown soft for you, that couldn’t stand to see you cry, or the husband that said ‘i do’ not minutes before reminding you how much he detested your union. 
your finger hovers over the call button, the small icon picture of him and megumi looking back at you but before you can call him back, not even sure if you were prepared to, a crowd of terrified screams pulls you from your phone and frantically you look around for its source, unsure if someone needed help or if you were in danger too.
before you can react after realizing which it was, that you were mostly certainly in danger and there wasn’t a thing you could do about it, your world begins to fade into black. the last thing you remember is hearing your husband's voice and a pitiful call of his name escaping your lips as your body falls to the ground, the scent of copper filling your senses before all consciousness is taken from you.
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satoru stares at his phone with wide glowing eyes, tearing off his blind fold like it was possibly skewing his vision, messing with his other scenes despite that being impossible. for a moment he felt the first drops of relief seeing you finally return his call. you had ran from him so quickly and with it took his heart, left him standing there with a gapping, bleeding, hole in his chest that made it impossible to move. it’s been long agonizing hours since then, unable to reach you, not knowing what you were doing or where you were or if you were okay. he knew you weren’t and that it was all his fault. 
finally, you were calling him but the first thing he heard was not the sweetness of your voice. instead his ears rang with the screams of others, the crumbling of concrete and a pleading call of his name from his wife that brought him past the point of manic in a matter of seconds.
he doesn’t dare hang up the phone but it’s not helping hearing noises of destruction that he can’t quite make out and the silence of your voice with each gut wrenching call of your name that’s begging you to say anything but continues to be met with silence. 
the wildness in his eyes lingers but his attention is brought from his phone screen to the sniffles coming from the doorway to the living room where megumi and tsukimi stand with fear in their own eyes, tears streaming down her sullen face. had they ever seen gojo like this? tsukimi reaches for her brother's hands, to bring some comfort to them both even though she’s far worse off than megumi right now. or at least she’s the only one outwardly showing it. satoru can see the rise in megumis energy despite him wanting to remain strong for his sister. 
she’s the first to speak too, reminding satoru that he wouldn’t be the only one suffering without you. “w-whats wrong? where- wheres y/n? is she going to be okay?” she doesn’t give him a moment to answer before she's crying out, “gojo!”
in a few long strides he’s standing in front of him, their seafoam and brown eyes staring back at him, his phone still connected on your call slipped into his pocket so his hands are free to pat both of their heads, ruffling their soft hair in tandem, keeping the last thin strand of his sanity from breaking until he could promise them none of them would ever be without you.
“don’t worry,” he says, that confident smile on his face. “i’ll bring her home safe. i’m the strongest after all.”
in a moment he’s teleported away, swearing to turn over all of japan in search of you. his presence was so overwhelming, the air nearly crackling with the electricity emanating from his barely contained furry. he’d let that barrier shatter soon, when it would be to his best advantage in bringing you home, until then the auxiliary managers helping him find your location through the never ending curse reports were under the pressure of the strongest sorcerer might.
the moment ijichi gave him the most likely places you could be, an eerie thankful smile came on gojos lips before he disappears, the light air finally returns the moment he was gone, before he can even mention there are already sorcerers on the scene. ijichi just hopes they’ve had the time to put the veil up before gojo goes all out without a second thought and that they’ve gotten you out of there. for everyone’s sake. 
from the point in the sky where satoru hovers, just above the curtain trying to keep this shit show of a grade one contained, messy white locks blowing in the wind high above, it doesn’t take a moment for his six eyes to sense you. not when they had spent countless minutes taking in every bit of you when you thought he was looking at others..
he swears he’ll make it up to you. even if you could never love him back or forgive him, from this day on he wouldn’t hold back, he wouldn’t deny it.  he loves you and the thought of losing you, in any way, without ever admitting it to you and asking for a chance to show you he meant it, is tearing him apart. 
he’d get the chance to tell you, to shower you in his unbridled affection like you had always deserved, try to be the husband you could maybe love one day too. even if you couldn’t love him.. if he could make sure you kept smiling, that you could continue to be your amazing loving self, he would do anything.
the atmosphere back on solid ground is thick, the sky covered in a dark blanket that matches how dreariness seeps into every crack in the sidewalk, into the roots of the trees and across crumbles of buildings and cars that laid around. buried beneath it, alive but still somehow so lifeless, holding onto the phone still calling his, was you. blood dripping down your pretty face, debris and dust coating your skin, the disgusting curses attention on you as well. 
satorus presence electrified the air enough so to make the grass stand up straight, his deep breaths huffing white clouds in the cold air, his blue orbs standing out like the eyes of an ethereal creature in the fog. a devil more so than an angel, one that would burn the world down to protect those he loves, even if he had failed at it before. the look of him would have stopped any sorcerer in its track, sent smaller curses scurrying away and it had kept this grade one from moving another inch, just like he intended 
he was so gentle in the way he lifted off every piece of destruction that kept you pinned to the ground and pulled you into his arms with ease, infinity compassing you so nothing else could touch you except for him. nothing would ever hurt you again. it all happened so quickly to the world around him but in his eyes everything moved in slow motion. the way your eyes flutter open behind your lashes as he picks you up, unsure of what was going on around you, not fully conscious but enough so to whisper his name from chapped lips and hold onto him with the remaining strength that you had. 
“��toru..” a few tears roll down your cheeks, mixing with the blood still dripping from your hairline, draining the color from your face, making you so very weak.
“i’m here angel,” his voice sounds so unfamiliar to you both, shaking with pain and rage, relief and regret. “hold on a little longer for me, yeah?”
it takes everything in him to take his eyes off of you. you were now passed out in his arms and couldn’t say anything, couldn’t see the swirls of red and blue as they merged into deep purple and shook the earth beneath satorus feet. he only spares the curse a long enough glance to aime, holding you with one arm so tightly, feeling your shallow beating heart through his shirt soaking in your blood as he uses the other hand to use his jujutsu. the world around him is engulfed in purple, pulverizing the curse, shredding the trees, blowing out the windows of nearby buildings and burning the grass but the destruction he’s caused is the last of his concern.
all that’s left in the wake of his furry is your silhouettes in the smoke and aftershock, the strongest sorcerer reduced to nothing more than a man shedding tears over his wife's limp body in his arms, kissing her cheeks as he pulls her so impossibly close before disappearing into thin air.
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ieiri was the only person who could coax satoru to release you, sympathetic to the agony behind his eyes, not unfamiliar to it from when another left his life, but she was still seriously insistent that if he didn’t let you go, didn’t let her heal you, then he really might lose you. the fight to keep him out of the surgical room so he wasn’t suffocating her while she worked, so he didn’t have to see how truly worse off you might be with your lack of jujutsu to have helped you through this, was far more difficult, left satoru begging his friend to not let him leave your side but in the end he gave in and anxiously he waited outside the room.
he was still covered in dirt and blood. it wasn’t the first time but it was the first time it had ever been yours and he hoped it would be the only time, wished it had never happened at all. he blames himself and as he sat in silence, dying on the inside not knowing what was going on in the other room, he recalled his sacred oath to protect you till death due you part. it hadn’t meant anything to him when he said it and back then he never would have thought he’d be here, willing to give anything to get on his knees before you at that alter, bury his face into your middle while his hands hold you close and he swears to you that he will cherish you, protect you, love you, until death takes him from you.
with his head buried in his hands, head hanging low, tears pooling on the ground near his feet, he can’t help but think how right he was about love being a curse. nothing had brought him more pain and agony than love. there was nothing that had torn his heart apart like love had but for fucks sake he wasn’t ready to lose you too, to lose the most amazing parts of your love before he even got a true taste of it, before he could do you right by you and attempt to make up for his mistake.
long fingers grip onto strands of snowy hair and tug. he’s sure some would find it laughable to see the strongest in such a pitiful state, with no ability to fight back with annoying words and cocky smiles when the thought of being without you and your light made him think he’d never smile again. he didn’t want you to leave without knowing his love either, not when he had so much of it to give to you now that the cage he held it behind was shattered and forgotten.
his chest aches in a way it never has before. it made him sick to his stomach, angry enough to release all of his power at once, consequences be damned, it turned his tears from sorrowful to full of self pity to hysterics at what a world without you might be like. all because he broke his promise, because he had been a blind idiot and a stubborn fucking ass hole. would he never get the chance to show you with confidence how much you meant to him? he knows he didn’t deserve it but if.. no, when you make it out of this, he swears he’ll give you all of him. reject him, tell him you hate him, ask for a divorce and tear his heart out- none of it would stop him from trying to win your heart, from letting you go.
the more time that passes the more he feels like he’s losing it for the third time that day. he’s restless, sitting and bouncing his leg, getting up to walk just to pace the hallway endlessly until he ended up right back where he started and started the cycle all over again. he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. 
shoko could yell at him all she wanted. he had to see you and know you were okay, to tell you he loves you and-
“gojo, take a breath okay?” ieriris voice breaks him from his thoughts, stops him from not even bothering to use the door and just teleport past the walls. “i told you i’d take care of her and i meant it.”
in a few steps he’s in front of her, leaning down to envelope her in a hug. he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath and let out the pent up air when she hugged him back. it wasn’t usual they shared moments like this but when it was.. it was when they were at their most vulnerable. even when they were younger, even when geto left them. his arms shook around her, silently begging for what he could not find the words to say.
“she’ll be fine,” her voice is soft, understanding to how he feels about you and thankful he’s done being a shithead about it. “she’s asleep for now but you can go in as long as you’ll let her rest.”
he didn’t wait a moment, didn’t even break their hug, before he teleported to your side and left shoko to smoke outside while she gave him some time alone with you. he was quiet and hesitant to touch you even though his fingers screamed to feel your skin, feel your pulse and prove to him without a doubt that you were okay. he saw it with his powerful eyes, your now clean skin, a few bandages here and there but your major injuries were healed. you looked so similar to how you did when sleeping at home and there was no doubting the truth in front of him but it wasn’t enough to ease the tightness of his chest.
let you rest. it was hard to do when he would have melted his body with your own given the chance but for now he’d have to settle for your smaller hand resting in his and the caress of his thumb against your soft skin swiping back and forth in comforting and gentle motions. you were warm, much warmer than the last time he held you and he swore he could cry at the feeling. 
thank god for shoko and your resilience that filled him with such pride to call you his.
sitting on the chair next to your hospital bed, he lowers his head to rest against the hand he held, soft white hair tickling your skin as he kisses you knuckles and whispers an apology he would repeat to you in his words and actions for the rest of his life if he had to, until he could prove to you his utter devotion. 
he isn’t sure how much time has passed and didn't notice that he had fallen asleep resting his head on you while waiting for you to wake up. his body ached, for more reasons than just the awkward sleeping position, he had gone through a whirlwind of emotions in one day and only next to you, knowing you would be okay, could he finally relax from it all but at the smallest twitch of your fingers he's alert, his head shooting up and he waits eagerly, moving from the chair to your bed, body hovering about yours, never letting go of your hand but instead pressing it against over his beating heart with gentleness, as you slowly wake up.
you blink slowly, your eyes in obvious protest and still heavy with exhaustion as you try to become more aware of your surroundings and what had happened with the aching of your head and a familiar scent in your nostrils.
“satoru?” you croak and in response he cradles your face in his hands, strokes your cheeks, kisses your lips soft and sweet and honest. your arms are weak and shaky but that doesn’t stop you from reaching for him and when you feel him shaking too, you ask, “are you okay?” oh that’s right.. you were fighting.. the remembrance was written on your face. “i'm.. i’m sorry i left so suddenly..”
leaning his forehead against your own, the laugh he lets out is full of relief and disbelief and is warm against your face. how could you possibly ask about his well being now or be the one apologizing? “my silly girl.” but it was the most wonderful thing to hear your voice and it takes all of his strength. he catches your wobbly smile and blushing cheeks before he collapses against you, enveloping you in his arms and letting his face rest in the crook of your neck, warm tears dropping along your collarbone.
his words, his confession, is all he can manage to say in his state and he whispers it against your skin, kissing you skin after each repeat of the words he would never hold back again. “i love you.”
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bonus!
neither of you had expected to walk into the house and smell something delicious being made, ginger and onions and other delicious things that made your stomach growl with one whiff. you could hear the pair arguing and tsumiki pulling the big sister card before they become silent upon hearing your husband coo at you to be good and stay still followed by a defeated huff and a triumphant chuckle.
satoru had hardly let you go since leaving the hospital, even before that- from the moment you woke up he was touching some part of you, and insisted on carrying you up the steps even though you could walk just fine. at most you were tired and sore but not enough to render you unable to use your limbs.
in the end, it was impossible to say no to him. he wasn’t going to let you either so with burning cheeks you agreed to let your husband carry you bridal style into your home and held onto his strong shoulders as he so effortless carried you. he didn’t put you down once you were inside either, despite your protests, smirking at you when you wiggled in his arms but he only tightened his grip.
his overzealous affection and care didn’t stop there either and it only spurred him on when you became flustered because of it. oh loving you was going to be so very fun, he thought as you pouted when he wouldn’t let you feed yourself the meatballs megumi and tsumiki made together. you all ate on the couch, to be sure you were comfortable and resting like shoko had said you should, also because the table didn’t allow any of them to be close enough to you. tsumikis eyes welled up with tears when gojo told them what happened over dinner but when he patted her head with a wide smile and promised her nothing like this would ever happen again, looking at megumi and telling him he should look after both you and his sister too, you all smiled and laughed. he didn’t speak the words outloud but satoru swore he would remarry you right here and now when you returned your own promise to watch after them too, in your own loving way.
it was obvious that gojo was jealous of the kids hanging all over you, even megumi hardly left your side and was as doting as he was whenever his sister was ill. satoru couldn’t help but make you all of you blushy cheeked for different reasons when he pulls you into his lap and kisses your cheek before trying to whisk you away to your bedroom with a promise for naughty things that he didn’t intend to follow through with just yet, not until you told him you were ready and not until you were all healed up so he could love you properly.
the kids were too quick on their feet, laughing and arguing about who would sleep where while trying to push past the tall man even with his long and fast strides. he couldn’t keep them away no matter how hard he tried and admitted defeat when they jumped into bed after you.
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