#except on those occasions when he's soaked in blood but that's totally besides the point

[canisalbus]

For how much Machete is described by others as off-putting, he really is a beautiful dog. Does Vasco ever tell him so? That his eyes make him look earnest, his fur the most comforting shade of white like cream, the way his ears catch light like stained glass? If someone doesn't tell him so, he'd forever think he was ugliest duckling

I think Vasco definitely tries, sincerely and often, but Machete is very reluctant to accept compliments and positive feedback. Especially if it's about something as personal and innate as his looks.

#he quietly spends a lot of time and effort trying to make himself look his best so appearances aren't a trivial thing for him #he's always very clean and neat and presentable #except on those occasions when he's soaked in blood but that's totally besides the point #white fur is kind of high maintenance any tiny bit of dirt or staining becomes an eyesore and if it dries it may be hard to remove #he bathes very frequently way more than average considering the time period #some of the outfits he wears are worth more than the combined lifetime earnings of like six generations of his family #silk was outrageously expensive and the brightest red dye came from pulverized cochineal insects that had to be imported from America #which had been colonized less than a century ago so those tiny little cactus bugs were really troublesome to get and the demand was huge #he doesn't quite have the nerve to wear perfume despite it's widespread popularity at the time #but he makes sure the smell of frankincense burned during church services sticks to his fur and clothes #in general when you spend your entire life around strict emotionally congested highly religious men #you might not end up developing a very healthy self-esteem or body image #once you've internalized that sense of inferiority it's hard to unlearn it #he's so thirsty for approval and praise but when he receives some he immediately gets uncomfortable and distrustful and vaguely angry #he absolutely struggles to compliment people back as well at least on any meaningful and personal level so there's that #answered #anonymous #Machete

[lordavanti]

Imagine you and Ivar being the powercouple of the army

Request: Can you do one where the reader and ivar are a badass couple and everybody adores them, even his brothers and parents? Notes: Yes, Ragnar and Aslaug aren’t dead! And there is smut, a littl ... and violence. Words: 1794

It was like some kind of a dance, it went way to swiftly and you enjoyed it to much. A battlefield didn’t supposed to look like a dance, but doing it with Ivar was just more than that. He trew his axe into a body and you finished  the job if the enemy wasn’t dead. You pulled out his axe and turned around to him. His eyes grew in so much temptation, seeing you standing there with his axe covered in blood killing of the enemy. But much time to look at each other you hadn’t, they kept coming. You ducked underneath a sword, pushing the man towards Ivar who slitted his throat like it was nothing. See, like dancing, the both of you perfect synchronized with each other. His horse moved restless and you threw him his axe back when his horse started moving. You grabbed a random sword from the ground and when further in your fight. It filled you with so much adrealine, so much joy and consuming power their wasn’t really somewhere else you wanted to be … except from on top of Ivar on a occasion of two. You hand slipped a little by the blood it was soaked in, the enemy kicked it right out you hand, smacking you on the ground. You hand went swiftly for your beld, taking your knife, piercing it through his heart. His dead body dropped down on you, his blade leaving  his mark in your arm. You groaned, tighting your muscules to push him away and get from underneath him, it so far the dancing, without Ivar right beside you something like this always happened to you. You stood up, looking to the deep wound you had in your arm. Luckely for you, you were as good with left as you were with right. You picked your sword back up, holding the wounded arm a little against your body you looked up. And there he was, the man you needed, the leader of this group of enemies. You fighted your way towards him, he was twerling around with his sword. They weren’t much of his man left, how could it, nobody beated the army Ivar stood in front of. That man was so focusted on the man in front of them that you slipt behind him and slit your knife in the back of his one leg causing him to fall on his knees. ‘Kill me already.’ ‘If it was that simple I would have done it already.’ You smiled down on him. Somebody tied up his arm, knotting a rope around his next when Ivar in his chariot arrived. ‘Your prinsoner my lord.’ You greeted him, holding up the rope with your good hand. ‘It’s your lucky day today.’ Ivar smiled to the man before he looked to you. Knowing you pretty well his eyes traveled down to your arm. ‘You’ll live.’ He said without much empaty, not that you expected some. He tightened the rope, forcing the leader to stand up, he limped and Ivar chuckled. ‘What don’t you understand under the word unharmed?’ He asked you amused. ‘Like you wouldn’t do it.’ You said with a short grinn, jumping behind him on the chariot. His small army surrounded his chariot, balding for their leader. Yes, Ivar The Boneless was quite the warrior and leader in Kattegat, something his father was proud of. He clicked his tongue and it was like he didn’t only commanded his horse to go forward, the whole group reacted on it. He dragged the limping leader behind the chariot, he could hardly keep up with that wound he had. ‘So, I’m a Lord now?’ He looked over his shoulder to you. ‘You are many things. It just fitted the occasion.’ ‘Do you know what fits the occasion to?’ He asked you. ‘I’m about to learn I guess.’ Gazing down in his bleu eyes you knew the answer already. ‘Me turned on by your captivating beauty.’ ‘It’s the blood that turnes you on.’ You laughed, already just to his honest words. Sometimes he was just to honest. ‘If I had a change I would take you here, right now, on my chariot.’ He didn’t look at you. He make dit sound so airy and normal but for you. You felt already impact of those words. ‘Why not?’ You asked him challenging. Ivar looked over his shoulder to his prisoner. ‘I’m not giving him the pleasure of seing you screaming my name.’ ‘Who says I would be screaming.’ You whispered in his ear. Ivar opened his mouth, a arrogant grin slowly spreading over his name. ‘You will be screaming.’ He promised you. And only the darkness in his bleu eyes and those words already maked it warm between your thights. When you arrived in Kattegat, Aslaug and Ragnar where already waiting. ‘There they are.’ Aslaug smiled. She liked you, you maked her son “happy”, but you didn’t like her. Lucky for you you were a good liar. Ivar worked with his father, Ragnar was to damn old to battle so he left his son in charge of the army they had. ‘My king and queen, your prisoner.’ You bowed, pushing the man in front of you when you jumped from his chariot. ‘He is limping.’ Ragnar noticed, looking with some humor up to his son who only pointed right back to you. ‘It’s good to see you both in once piece.’ Aslaug smiled, folding her hand around yours, squeezing it a little. You only forced a smile on your face before she walked further to Ivar. ‘You represent my army good, the both of you. When you gonna get married?’ Ragnar asked. ‘Never.’ You and Ivar said on the same time. You looked over your shoulder to him, only to see that eagerness in his eyes when he looked back to you. ‘You still alive brother.’ Hvitserk asked while walking out of the great hall. ‘It’s not that you gonna die anytime soon if you keep hiding behind father.’ Ivar shouted back. There they go again, throwing with insults like it was nothing. You arm started to work against you and when you looked down to the wound you catched Aslaug looking at you. ‘You’re wounded.’ Aslaug noticed. You looked up to the sky for a moment, when she grabbed your arm to look at your wound. ‘She will live.’ Ivar reacted. ‘That’s not a way to treat your girl Ivar. What if she is your wife?’ ‘Alright,’ he sighned. You looked over your shoulder to him. The both of you were just to be wounded, a little schratch like that didn’t do much fort he both of you. ‘I will make her feel better in no time. Y/n, you coming?’ Ivar asked. ‘Son,’ Aslaug itterupted him. ‘It’s alright queen Aslaug. I’m not dying.’ You tried to comfort her. ‘Yet.’ Hvitserk winked. Aslaug gave her other son a short glare before she away from you. You walked to Ivar his chariot where Ragnar stood awaiting you. ‘You know a king can’t stand without his queen.’ He complimented you. They admired you, as the only woman in this army and as Ivar his right hand you where as a daughter for them. ‘Don’t give her to much credit.’ Ivar said while you jumped on his chariot. ‘Take care of her.’ ‘I sure will.’ Ivar whispered with a promesing look towards you. Ragnar stepped back and Ivar commanded his horse to get foward. Ragnar didn’t use his old farm anymore so Ivar lived there half the time. You jumped from his chariot as soon as he stood still. ‘Where do you think you going.’ He stopped you right in your movements. You turned around to him, confused. ‘Come back.’ He commanded you. It took you a moment to remember his words earlier today. ‘You were serious?’ ‘Have I ever been not serious about something that involves you.’ He reacted. He had turned on his seat and as soon as you were within his reach he pulled you back on his chariot. His eyes traveled down to your arm, he tilted his head while he looked to the deep cut in your arm. ‘You alright?’ He asked. You looked down to him smiled softly. ‘I will live, nothing some love can’t fix.’ ‘Let me see for that.’ His arm slipped around you waist pulling you closer. You gasped by the brutality he pulled you closer. You fingers stroke his jawline, still covered in blood and dirt, before you pushed you lips against his. He groaned in the kiss, taking your lip between his teeth and biting it. Nothing between the two of you went easy, really nothing. You pushed your body closer, his hand looking for the bare skin above your trousers, but instead of that he found the knot that held you trousers up. ‘If you drop down I punish you for it.’ ‘In the good or bad way?’ You asked out of breath. His eyes looked up to you while his fingers slowly lowered. Your lips partened a little when you felt him there. You totally forgot what he just said, lowered you head a kissed him again while he hands circled over your female parts. And  just like nothing he thrusted in and you hissed his name against his ear. ‘Ivar,’ you moaned by the ruthless movements of his fingers in your body. You needed to hold your body up to his while he maked you ruthless ready for him. But screaming, you didn’t give him the pleasure. ‘Come on, y/n.’ He grunned in your ear. His teeth scrapped over your throat making you to moan again while he brought you to the highest point. And than you screamed, out of frustration because he pulled his fingers out. ‘Told you.’ He teased you. Bringing them slowly back in. But you were so close to that point you just broke down, against him, totaly out of breath, shivering from the enjoyment he gave you. You let you head rest on his shoulder, trying to catch some breath. ‘Ivar,’ ‘Yes?’ He asked amused. ‘When it’s my turn?’ He did so much to you, brought you so much derise, joy, pain and he hardly wanted anything back. ‘The only one worthy of me and my chariot is you my queen, so’ He said, his lips lingering above your colorbone, heat spreading over your skin.You looked to him, in those bleu dark eyes and you forced a tired smile on your lips. ‘First, get inside so I can take a look to that wound.’ He commanded you right back in his arrogant and dominant mood. You smiled, offcourse ... Could be oneshot ... or maybe I make it a series. Don’t know yet?!

#vikings imagine #ivar imagine #ivars heathen army #ivar x reader #vikings #ivar #ivar the boneless