#feanor is that relative at the big family dinners that always goes on a rant about something

[lordgrimwing]

Fëanor firmly believes that modern movies are objectively worse than those made back in his day. Action, drama, suspense, you name it, it used to be better, and he reminds his sons of that fact whenever he gets roped into watching something with them.

Tired of their dad’s complaining, the sons collectively decide to add some pornos in the mix of normal movies, just to spice things up and see him get worked up over something so outrageous. It takes Fëanor a shockingly long time to realize he’s watching porn. He’s duly horrified and the boys have their fun watching him rage against the ills of the modern world.

That should have been it, a little laugh for the boys at the harmless trick they pulled, but they can’t get over how long Fëanor watched before catching on to exactly what was happening. He has seven sons after all, he should be very familiar with sex.

That’s when the fun really began.

From then on, nearly everything they suggest he watch turns out to be porn, and they place bets on how long he’ll last.

And Fëanor keeps watching! Yes, he storms out or starts raging that he is happily married, why do they keep sending him this?! But he’ll still watch everyone because maybe, just maybe, it will be an actual movie he can complain about.

#feanor #sons of feanor #the silmarillion #i hc that feanor doesn't really know how he ended up with so many sons #nerdanel thinks its funny and does not clue him in #please let this find the target audience #feanor is that relative at the big family dinners that always goes on a rant about something #but the things he rants about are so obscure or absurd that most everyone else at the dinner just gets a kick out of it #his sons stoke the fire for fun #he has a 30 minute lecture about how these skinny modern ballpoint pens are causing arthritis (and manufactures know it) #not sure if I should use the gripes or writes tag for this #grimwing gripes #grimwing writes