#flutter river

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Warrior Cats Rewritten: Riverstar's Home

Version 1.1: Shadowsight and Whistlepaw have been added in! Also replaced Mossy Pelt's placeholder name.

Flutter is being taught Cool Fun Stuff by her uncle Ripple, she is the only family Ripple has left. Her parent, Squirrel, Ripple's sibling, died the day she was born. Squirrel is a tolly (nonbinary) and cause of death is purposely not specified.

Ripple is (lightly) scolded by Arc for wanting to swim and play in the pond at the Park. It gets him all wet, then no humans want to feed him or be around him. He doesn't care! Water is Cool!

Arc is the leader of the Cats Of The Park. He is a bit gruff, but he has a HUGE soft spot for young cats.

But not all is well, readers, for humans are kind of assholes. Their have been many complaints about the feral cat colony, especially after one of the cats broke into a home and stole some food. Twolegs are coming to capture cats!

A few cats are chased onto a roaring-path (thunderpath) and in an effort to save them, Arc jumps cleanly into the car window, making it swerve and miss the cats. He is thrown from the monster, and before Ripple can get get to him, he is killed by another swerving car, by accident.

In the chaos, sweet little Flutter is captured, and brought away from the Park with a bunch of the other cats.

Ripple jumps into the river, and gets away using a large tree branch, his paw occasionally paddling.

Fishing is hit and miss. He can catch minnows with ease, but bigger fish are escaping him for now. He finds Night and Mist, and learns to get better at swimming in moving water, though his looong fur looks hilarious to Night when she puts her head under.

Deciding to search for the missing cats, he heads out with Mist to search for them, but the Park is empty. They're gone. Undeterred but getting tired, they head home.

On the way there, they meet a handsome golden tabby tom with a single eye, and his young daughter, who looks like an eerie, very uncanny version of him. River Ripple can't look at her for long.

One Eye talks about his ex-make, Sun Spot, and how they fell out of love. Sun Spot took their 2 sons, Blue Eyes and Light. He wasn't bothered, his favorite was always Star Flower.

They bond, heavily. A lot goes unsaid between them that River Ripple will look back on with a mix of longing and horror.

More moons go by, the Sun Trail Followers arrive, Mist and Night are a bit apprehensive... But not aggressive.

They find a little group that was inspired by River Ripple's "heroism" (literally just giving a young cat a fish he caught) and beg to join. ANY side characters from Canon!Riverstar's Home are joining. It establishes that River Ripple is kinda put on a pedestal, but he enjoys being kind.

Any other side characters shown are getting reduxed as well. With lots of changed names. Also, the mythical 'Pumpkinpatch', who apparently doesn't exist, exists now.

Mist finally introduces River Ripple to his kits. He kept the youngsters at the Barn that Barley will one day inhabit. Since there is no obligation to stay in camp yet, he was effectively a proto-Daylight Warrior!

The kits are Smoke, Shadow, and Shine. They are renamed to Dawn Smoke, Deep Shadow, and Dazzling Shine. DS triplets!

River Ripple bonds heavily with them, and cares so much about them, the same way he does for Flutter.

After The First Battle, he promises to the lost cats that he WILL find them. He starts talking with Hawk, who, while he hates them, can't resist the idea of fucking up a twoleg's day. He leads River Ripple to a shelter cageplace, where the Cats of the Park are kept.

Trying to get them out is almost hopeless, until they crash into 4 loners. The first introduces himself as Nightheart, which Night loves the sound of. The second is Shadow Eyes, a very beaten up looking tom. The third is a small, skinny molly who just calls herself Whistle. The final cat is too shy, and her friends introduces her as Frosty Paws. Though Whistle and Frosty Paws are still very young, the group are clever and crafty, knowing stories about how other cats have been freed from cageplaces before!

They get into the mall, River Ripple gets trapped in the elevator of it, but Nightheart accidently pulls on a shiny red branch, and it rains in the building! A loud noise sounds! The twolegs panic and scatter, and the 5 get into the cageplace, freeing the Cats of the Park.

Nightheart, Whistle, Shadow Eyes and Frosty Paws say they have to leave for a while, heading down to Highstones.

Flutter is happy to be in the group, but sickness is spreading. She catches it after hunting a sick mouse [but she was so happy to use the skills her uncle taught her :( ] and it forces him to co-operate with the Clans. In the meantime, Gray Wing has joined and is becoming a problem. He is rude to Flutter about the Park culture, and trying to flirt with Storm Bird. Storm Bird and Night (who seriously thinks the name of that weird black cat was cool) are courts. Not yet mates, but flirting.

Star Flower gets cats killed, Flutter and Dawn Smoke nearly die until Thunder BURSTS in with the cure. He has found the correct Blazing Star.

After bringing Gray Wing with him to fight for their border and keep cats safe, watching Gray Wing defend Clear Sky with one breath and damn One Eye in the other for doing the same thing, River Ripple begins to put his foot, only to get slashed on the ear, ripping it badly. Storm Bird and Night kick him out. The rip in his ear is so bad that it completely changes the way his ear moves, almost like a river changing course...

(Book 5) One Eye is facing down River Ripple during a horrific blizzard. It's about the what if, the what could still be, the what must never be. When One Eye threatens Dazzling Shine, saying she isn't his real daughter, River Ripple lunges. The 2 toms break through the frozen river, and it is only due to his sheer love for the river, having studied its current and knowing every inch of it that River Ripple survives. He brings up One Eye's body, and Star Flower screeches at him, swearing vengeance.

(Book 6) Mist and River Ripple are basking on Sunningrocks when Deep Shadow swims up to them, the poor boy screaming about something horrible.

A cat they let in was working with Star Flower, and has just killed a young cat by poisoning food. River Ripple chases a cat fleeing camp, a Rogue they had let in who seemed to want to get close with Deep Shadow.

River Ripple chases the cat down when he notices they flee camp, calling for Star Flower, but when they get to the stepping stones, the cat slips, breaks their jaw, and drowns.

River Ripple swears this is the last time he is gonna have a meeting with the other cats to Tall Shadow, but he isn't completely sincere. On one hand, he is becoming bonded friends with plenty of others, on the other hand... He is having dreams of being dragged towards Highstones by his tail every night. He knows he isn't getting out of this, no matter how much he wants to stay out of things and remain peaceful.

They talk about the spirit cats message, all waiting for Thunder to arrive. When he does, he and Clear Sky get into a fight, and clouds cover the moon, beginning to pour rain. Flutter tells River Ripple that she is scared of what is coming, she can feel something bad is about to happen. She points out that Thunder is looking at Star Flower with a rage she's never seen from any cat. Star Flower is behind the assassinations, but Clear Sky won't believe it. Sky Petal is more reasonable, but she is taking care of 3 kittens, she is BUSY.

River Ripple is a witness to Thunder killing Star Flower, but he promises he won't say anything. They bury her near Sunningrocks while the river is still near frozen, accidentally digging a little too deep. One of those boulders is kinda loose...

He is given Bubbling Stream, and she teaches him about her Starclan connection. He teaches her about fishing, which she takes well to, but her true passion lies with shaping clay. Together, they create a little bowl and put herbs in it for Dappled Pelt, who is experimenting with everything she heard about from Frosty Paws and Whistle! Science lady meets young heaven-bound girl and who NEEDS to take a vow of no kits? Dappled Pelt absolutely loves Bubbling Stream immediately. River Ripple himself swears that he will personally train her the same way Arc trained him. He will raise her like a daughter, alongside his stepkids.

Flutter pulls him aside, telling him that she saw Nightheart and Frosty Paws again, and that she and Pumpkinpatch are going to go with them on their journey. River Ripple is sad, but he loves Flutter enough to let her go. He thinks of how proud he is of her, how much she's grown. She leaves with them, and her new mate, Pumpkinpatch.

He goes to Highstones and... Turns around. He can't do this. The dread is welling up inside him, maybe he should give the Leading Role to Night Hear-

He feels a hard pull on his tail.

Something unseen in the darkness of Mothermouth is dragging him to the Moonstone.

There, he receives his 9 lives, and vows to use them to help Riverclan how HE wants to with his OWN ideals. They may have blessed him but they don't own him.

He gets home to a happy announcement, Dazzling Shine is expecting kits with a lovely tom named Tulip Ear. Dazzling Shine is a pale gray dappled molly with short legs and bright yellow eyes. Tulip Ear is a thick furred gray speckled tom with amber eyes, a white belly, and curled ears.

Riverstar realizes that, though he has lost his home at the Park, he has made a new one, and his new family is flourishing. He might attend a Gathering later, maybe not. But he begins to formally train an Apprentice.

Epilogue: Riverstar is extremely old, on his deathbed. His great grandson, Shining Reed, is telling him all about the fun things he did on his first day out of camp when he suddenly begins to feel weak. He calls the little dark orange tom over to have a nap with him. Shining Reed cuddles up to him, and they fall asleep. At least.... Shining Reed does. Riverstar loses his last life as he drifts off.

He sees Frosty Paws when he opens his eyes, pacing and fretting over what to do. When she leaves the den, Riverstar gets bored, and rips up a dock leaf into the shape of a star, a little gift for the cat who helped him build his home. He puts it into her nest, and watches her shock when she finds it, shouting out to a cat named Mothwing that she found an answer.

#warrior cats #warrior cats rewrite #wcr #warriors #riverstar's home #riverstar's home spoilers #riverstar #frostpaw #river ripple #tall shadow #one eye wc #wind runner #thunder wc #clear sky #gray wing #star flower #bubbling stream #moth flight #nightheart #shadowsight #whistlepaw #wc flutter

[bonebabbles]

Extremely Minor Characters in RH and River's Kin

“I don’t have any kin,” River Ripple explained. “But my parkmates will be worried.” His heart ached, longing for gentle Moth, plucky Stoat, and the warmth of Squirrel, his nestmate when he was a kit. And most of all... “And Flutter.” -Riverstar's Home, Chapter 2

I don't remember any of the spoiler threads ever mentioning Squirrel ever again, but then again, most of them seemed to "run out of steam" by the time we got to the re-appearance of the Park Cats later

So anyway I'm going to be making mental notes of the random guys. Very interested in what parentage was like for Park Cats, which I'm sure the writers really didn't intend.

Seems like they don't really have "fathers" back in the park. You get assigned to a mentor, and then are expected to become a lot closer to your fellow Parkmates than any familial bonds. Interesting.

I like Stoat lmao. Guy whose only known trait is "plucky." No gender, no fur color, no nothing. Xey're pluckygender.

#Guys I'm writing down for my rewrite lmao #Me buddying up to Stoat like ''Oh buddy we are gonna make you a Solid background character in river kingdom'' #bones reads rh #and yes I marked this down as a Flutter Tally

[the-owl-tree]

i know it’s all in jest and good fun but there is something like, uniquely funny about people going “what if flutter, this character who was picked from a list to serve only as a prop for river’s story and was immediately pulled away from the main story (and potentially dead) before we could even know what their relationship was like, was actually river’s boyfriend”

#wc spoilers #deer rambles #DOES IT TRULY MAKE WHAT THEY DID TO HER BETTER IF WAS GAY 😭 #‘ugh can wc fans stop complaining about flutter she could be river she/her gay partner-‘ CAN I BE MAD ABOUT MISOGYNY BEFORE YOU POSIT- #BURY YOUR GAYS AS THE SUPERIOR SOLUTION

[angsttronaut]

in the first three chapters and prologue of riverstar's home, they've already done the worst thing they could've done; make river ripple straight with a love interest who gets to do nothing except cause him Man Pain

#warrior cats #warriors #wc #riverstar #river ripple #spoilers #riverstar's home spoilers #flutter

[shadowsight-aster]

dotc leader height chart i made for an english project i'm doing!! poor river is the tallest, so he gets buried behind everyone else lol wind runner is probably the only design here that i don't 100% love but i'm working on her :33 don't let the average height fool you btw. the mountain cats are big-- generally fluffier, more built, stronger legs for leaping--and grey wing, clear sky, tall shadow are the tallest out of the original group and thunder got big cat genes from both parents bird is the runt and cause she was malnourished, so she's smaller than the typical mountain cat but she's still got the muscles and the dexterity that comes with living where she does wind runner is actually the closest to the average height of the cats in the colonies!! she has scary dog privileges with tall shadow backing her up. not that she needs it. wind is a clever menace lmao river's a gentle giant (the reason hawk got three other cats to help him bully river cause. the guy's kinda intimidating) (little does he know river never grew out of his kitten claws and cries whenever he steps on grasshoppers and spiders)

individual designs, left to right: grey wing, clear sky, thunder

river ripple, tall shadow, wind runner

and last but never least, fluttering bird (stoneteller) !!! my baby my baby say it to me that [she's my] baby /ly

#warriors #warriors cats #dawn of the clans #warriors fanart #the first settlers warriors #grey wing #river ripple #clear sky #tall shadow #wind runner #thunder #fluttering bird

[afieldinengland]

still thinking about that butterfly

#what role did i play? a dried thing half-starved and perhaps almost dead unfortunate enough to fly into a window rarely reopened #that i blew gently upon and encouraged out into the world— and then supplied with sugar water— the poor man’s nectar— hoping against hope #it would regain its strength. not daring to believe it truly could. and then it did #bright flying monarch of a creature i spoke to as kindly as i could and fed what i was able. that i placed upon a log-pile so its predators #could not snaffle it. i don’t know. i didn’t know how long it had been there. i just wanted to be kind. what was i then? to it? #and it did— a recovery as sacred as the sun risen in december at stonehenge. the resplendent beauty of it flying in my window— by chance or #determination? and fluttering against my worship-book before taking off into the morning as strong as a lark. beautiful creature #i just wanted to be kind. io the little lives. it still overwhelms me— so much that i have not yet processed it #like when in the winter of the year before last when i was weeping open into the wet bovine earth for the death of my sweet dog and a #poor hedgehog troubled itself in the river— and i pointed my light at theway out until it escaped back to its undergrowth #what did it think happened? what was i to it? i just want to be kind. it’s the right thing to do #the butterfly

[tockamybeloved]

Bleak. All the literature, poetry, art. Nothing has soul. Flat, dull, mass produced.

Tired of the machine.

#where are the words that match #the stabbing pain in my heart? #none of it comes close #*tosses it all away #*watches the pages flutter and sink in the river behind me

[raven-serenity]

ah no, i think i ordered the wrong thing for you. i'll order again, dont worry.

its fine, i'll eat this one tomorrow for lunch.

#cinny #flutters #river #glimmer

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[iovesia]

loose ends. coriolanus snow.

cw. toxic relationship. dark!coriolanus. manhandling.

"after everything i did for you—" his booming, hoarse voice echoes through the desolate forest. "this is how you repay me?!"

your heartbeat drums in your ears, chest tightened as if he was stepping right on you, as you hide behind boulders. each crunch of twigs under his large boots crept closer to you. like a measly little mouse, you crept and crawled faster, the mud and dirt staining the rose smelling shawl on your shoulders.

"i.. i just wanna talk.." coriolanus' tone switches at the drop of a hat. his mind dancing on the thin line between desperation and rage. was there a difference?

"i'm not gonna hurt you," he lies.

the jabber jays mock him, faintly singing his words through the forest, and only making you feel more suffocated. your tired feet, and burning thighs ached as you knelt down in the creek. cold water from the river sloshing at the bank, freezing your skin as it hits you.

"where are you?" coriolanus' voice is a meer whisper, "where.. are.. you..?" his faint breathing, and paranoid mumbling gradually faded under the sounds of the river and birds chirping.

you peak your head above the creek, seeing no sign of the gun-wielding lover. no sight of his platinum blonde hair within the stalks of dark, brown trees. naively, your nails dig into the dirt and you hoist yourself out the damp creak. a relieved sigh leaves your lips, eyes fluttering closed.

"found you."

you freeze. the color drains from your face, once you open your eyes to the familiar sight of dirty army boots. your frame trembled as you craned your neck up to him. coriolanus towered over you, his face dimmed by the sun shining down on him, creating a twisted silhouette glow around him. a devil in disguise.

suddenly, his hands tried to grab at you, but you duck under his reach. your feet kick against the dirt, lunging yourself to the side as you run. your fruitless attempt at escape was cut short: your head meeting the ground as you collapsed.

a pair of hands grip at your biceps, roughly turning you over like you weighed nothing. a sluggish groan escapes your lips, and you flutter your eyes, barely making out the shape of his face.

"corio.. corio please.." you beg softly, lower lip quivering as tears clouded your sight. "it's me.. please.. you can trust me—"

"no loose ends, you know.." coriolanus interrupts, his brows knitted together. his hateful baby blues shoot daggers at you, his nails digging into your skin as he shakes your body.

"corio!" you whimper, chest heaving from exhaustion and utter terror. "i won't tell anyone.. i swear! please.. i wasn't going to say anything.."

coriolanus shakes you violently once again, offended at your words. he leans his face down to you, hot breath hitting your cheeks. fat dollops of tears roll down your cheeks, and even pinned down ruthlessly, you look softly at coriolanus.

"we promised we'd always take care of each other.." his comforting words spoken in such a cold tone did nothing to ease your mind. his nose flares, brows furrowing harder, and his nails almost drawing blood. "did you mean it?"

a beat.

you hiccup quietly, lip trembling as the words die in your throat. coriolanus' patience was drawing thin— but the utter fear in your bones ate away at you. all you can offer is a shaky nod, weak sobs mewling from you.

your simple gesture was enough to loosen coriolanus's grip on you, letting your fall back against the dirt. he chews his lower lip in concentration, his intent gaze never leaving you and you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.

his large hand gently strokes your sweating face. a flash of guilt shimmers in his eyes when you wince at his touch. coriolanus hovers over your frame, his knee now on either side of you, trapping you under him.

"you know i'd never hurt you.." he says quietly, his head lowering to yours. his pink lips barely brush against yours. his calloused fingers lightly wipe the tears and dirt staining your cheeks. "i promise."

his weak promises taste bitter on your tongue when coriolanus presses his lips to yours, his tongue swiping along your lower lip. your soft gasps are muffled as he swallows your sounds, his hands now on either side of your face.

his once warm, and gentle kiss .. now just felt cold, and suffocating.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow angst #*⠀coriolanus snow.

[ethereal-glowstick]

asa Butterfield's name is so pretty that it sounds fake

#asa butterfield #sex education #names #butterfly #i see his name and think of a butterfly fluttering past a flowing river in a lush green meadow under a bright blue cloudless sky #soft breeze blowing by

[thethirdromana]

Travels with Jonathan Harker, in pictures

If our good friend Jonathan Harker had sent us some photos along with his lovely email, here's what he might have included. All photos are as close to contemporary as I could find.

Left Munich at 8:35 P. M.:

arriving at Vienna early next morning:

Buda-Pesth seems a wonderful place, from the glimpse which I got of it from the train and the little I could walk through the streets:

We left in pretty good time, and came after nightfall to Klausenburgh:

All day long we seemed to dawdle through a country which was full of beauty of every kind. Sometimes we saw little towns or castles on the top of steep hills such as we see in old missals:

sometimes we ran by rivers and streams which seemed from the wide stony margin on each side of them to be subject to great floods:

The women looked pretty, except when you got near them, but they were very clumsy about the waist. They had all full white sleeves of some kind or other, and most of them had big belts with a lot of strips of something fluttering from them like the dresses in a ballet, but of course there were petticoats under them:

(on the left: the Romanian royal family in peasant cosplay in the early 1900s; on the right, a photoshoot of Romanian national dress in 1868)

It was on the dark side of twilight when we got to Bistritz, which is a very interesting old place:

Bonus: a postcard Jonathan might have picked up for Mina.

#dracula daily #may 3 #historical context #descriptions in alt text

[joelsgreys]

baby, i’m yours

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: You remind Joel that you’re his.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION however she does wear Joel’s t-shirt and he semi lifts her onto a counter? sorta but not really? UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (Joel is in his 50’s but reader’s specific age is not mentioned). established relationship, sort of. consumption of food (if you are allergic to peanuts, i so sorry). angst, Joel and Ellie’s strained relationship is lightly implied, Joel is insecure, it’s implied reader did some horrible things in her past, reassurance, brief smut, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, consider it a quickie idk. apologies if i missed anything.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: this short lil thing has been sitting in my drafts forever. i finished it while i was in ireland and finally had the chance to sit down and do a quick edit and when i say it was quick, i flew through it so i could hop onto my next wip so please excuse any errors! here’s a spotify link to the song if anyone’s curious, it’s an oldie but a goodie although it may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

main masterlist l fic notifs

Joel rolls over in bed, his arm outstretched and seeking the warmth of your soft, naked body.

“Mmph,” a small, sleepy groan falls from his lips as his long, thick fingers feel around on your side of the bed—of his bed. Of course, you have your very own bedroom in the house you all had been placed in when you first arrived in Jackson. Your very own bed to sleep in is just down the hallway, but lately, you’ve been waking up beside him a lot more often than not, especially now that Ellie’s a bit older and she’s gone and made herself her own space out in the garage behind the house. Being under the same roof as Joel did those two more harm than it did good, and while you missed having her around, it was for the best.

“She’ll come around, Joel,” you’d assured him. “I know she will. She just needs a bit of time is all.”

“Hope you’re right, darlin’,” he had murmured sadly in response.

Still lost somewhere in between sleep and full consciousness, Joel continues feeling around for you, but all he finds are the wrinkled sheets, cold and abandoned. Confused, his eyes finally flutter open and with a painful protest from his sore, stiff back, he sits up, blinking furiously as he looks around the darkness of his bedroom. The door’s been left cracked open ever so slightly, and as his vision adjusts now that he’s fully awake, he notices the dim glow of the hallway light that’s peeking through into the room.

He turns and glances over at the old digital alarm clock perched on his nightstand, the obnoxious, bright red numbers practically screaming at him that it’s a quarter past midnight. With a small, tired grunt, Joel switches on the lamp beside the clock and swings his legs over the side of the mattress, goosebumps erupting across his flesh the instant that his bare feet meet the cold, hardwood floor. He stands and fumbles around for his clothes, which he’d tossed carelessly somewhere over his shoulder hours earlier when he’d been lost in the heat of the moment with you. He finds his faded, navy blue sweatpants strewn across a chair next to the door and pulls them on over his naked lower body before searching for his t-shirt. When he doesn’t immediately see it, he doesn’t bother, figuring that it’s just going to come back off when he climbs back into bed with you.

Padding out of his bedroom, he makes his way down the hallway, heading towards the staircase. As he draws closer, he hears it—the soft music that’s coming from downstairs.

Baby, I'm yours

and I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky

yours until the rivers all run dry

in other words, until I die

He’s led towards the kitchen and that’s where he finds you.

Joel wants to be annoyed. 

Fuck, he tries to be annoyed. But he can’t help the way that the corners of his mouth threaten to turn upwards when his eyes take in the sight before him.

You’re standing at the center island slowly swaying your hips from side to side along to the beat of the song that’s playing from the record player perched next to the instant coffee maker on the counter behind you. He’d nearly wrung your neck when he found out what all you had traded just to get your hands on it, but you loved that thing more than life itself it seemed, so he couldn’t stay mad for very long. You’re making yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—the peanut butter you’d learned how to make yourself with the old food processor he found deep in one of the kitchen cabinets, and the strawberry preserves you had picked up from the market earlier that week. Clad in nothing but his t-shirt, you’re singing along quietly to the lyrics as you finish making your late night snack.

Baby, I’m yours

and I’ll be yours until the sun no longer shines

yours until the poets run out of rhyme

in other words, until the end of time

Joel leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he watches you carefully lick the remnants of peanut butter off of the knife you’re using before setting it down on the counter. You then pick up the two pieces of bread and slap them together—you’d also learned how to bake homemade bread using some old nineties cookbook you had found in the commune’s library. Your sourdough is the reason he had to go up a notch in his belt.

Sandwich in hand, you do a little spin, humming happily as you take your first bite.

Joel loudly clears his throat from the doorway.

Startled, you whirl around and freeze, your eyes wide.

“Enjoyin’ yourself there, darlin’?” He asks amusedly as he approaches you.

“Jesus Christ! You scared me, Joel!” You hiss at him. You then realize what time of night it is and a look of guilt crosses your features. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I honestly thought that I had the volume down low enough in here—”

Frowning, you turn around and reach towards the record player to turn the music off, but much to your surprise, Joel stops you. “No, s’okay. I woke up on my own,” he assures you. “I reached over for you and you were gone.” The admission slips before he can even think to stop it. He notices how taken aback you are by what he’d just said and quickly asks, “What’cha doin’ up so late, anyway?”

“I was hungry,” you tell him, sheepishly holding up your food. You always have one hell of an appetite after Joel was through fucking you senseless. You take another bite and offer it to him. “Want some?”

“Sure.”

He accepts and takes a corner of the sandwich before handing it back to you. His fingers brush against yours and his face burns at the contact.

Fucking Christ. 

You’re standing there in nothing but his fucking t-shirt after he had, yet again, made you his in his own fucking bed, and that’s what gets him?

Truth be told, the only time he holds your hand is when he’s inside of you—his fingers lace with your own as he comforts you and praises you for being such a good girl for taking his cock the way you do.

For being so, so fucking good for him.

He’s thought about taking your hand in front of others. Particularly when he notices the way some of the men in town stare at you. Joel wants to make it known that you’re already spoken for. Only, you’re not spoken for, not really. 

You’re his, but you’re not really his. It’s not that he doesn’t want to take the leap and acknowledge the two of you are far more than just patrol partners, far more than just two people who fought like fucking hell to get some smart assed teenager—and the world’s only hope for a cure—across the country.

He feels undeserving of it. Of you and your heart.

Several seasons had come and gone since you’d both arrived in Jackson with Ellie in tow, and somehow, Joel still can’t fathom what you’re doing by his side. She’s out of the house now and there’s nothing tying you to him, so why are you still here?

He’s so much older. Closer and closer to being on his way out, while you still had your entire life left ahead of you. He’s worn down, hardened from the post outbreak world. And you, you hadn’t lost any of your softness, your sweetness. Not even after the things you’d been forced to do to survive because of him.

You could meet someone younger, someone closer to your own age. You could marry, even start a family. You could be with someone who could give you a good life, the life you deserve.

The life that he’s too fucking broken to give you.

“Joel?” Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. M’fine.” He gestures to the record player with a nod of his head. “Y’know, this song’s older than me. By a few years. Came out in the early sixties.”

Joel half expects you to make some wisecrack joke and tease him over his age like you have done in the past—especially when the kid would get you going. Instead, he watches you set what’s left of your sandwich down and brush the crumbs from your hands before holding one of them out to him.

Confused, he stares at it for a moment before his dark eyes meet yours. “What are you doin’?”

“Dance with me,” you say, smiling at him.

“You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me, right?” When he realizes you’re being serious, he shakes his head. “Y’know I don’t—I can’t dance.”

Dropping your hand back down to your side, you turn around and flip the record, starting the song over again before whirling back around and taking Joel’s hands in yours.

“Just follow my lead,” you tell him as you place them on your waist. Your own hands settle themselves on his broad shoulders, his skin warm beneath your fingertips. “Don’t overthink it.”

“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous,” Joel grumbles underneath his breath, however he finds himself moving along with you without further protest. Subconsciously, he pulls you closer against him as the two of you slowly sway from side to side along to the beat of the music. He chuckles, “Y’know we gotta be up at the asscrack of dawn for patrol, right?”

“And your point is?” You rest your head on his shoulder and exhale a soft, contended sigh.

Joel’s lips threaten to pull down once more.

Could it be that you’re actually content with him?

Head still on his shoulder, you sing along softly with Barbara Lewis. 

“I’m gonna stay right here by your side

do my best to keep you satisfied

nothing in this world can drive me away

‘cause every day you'll hear me say…”

It quickly becomes too much for him. Joel’s hands leave your waist. Taking your wrists, he tugs your arms from around his neck and gently pushes you away from him. “Why?” he finally asks the question that’s been hanging off the tip of his tongue for the better part of the last three years. “Why me?”

You stare at him, puzzled. “What?”

“Why me?” he repeats himself. “Why me when you can have anyone else—”

Your reply is prompt and you say it so simply.

“Because I don’t want anyone else.”

“You deserve better.”

You peer at him curiously. “I deserve better?”

“You do. Ain’t got no business being with someone like me. After all the terrible shit I’ve done—”

“I did the same exact shit, Joel. Sometimes I did even fucking worse.” Somehow, softness laces your tone. You have never been angry with him and you weren’t about to start now. “What makes my hands any cleaner than yours?”

Joel begins to sputter. “M’older than you. Much older. Should’a been a lot more careful. Should’a done more so you didn’t have to do those things.”

His hands still curled around your wrists, you reach up and gingerly cradle the sides of his face. He winces, but then quickly melts into your touch, the very same touch that could heal his wounds, if only he would allow it.

“I made my own choices,” you remind him, quietly. Neither of you realize the music has stopped. “Quit acting like blood doesn’t stain my hands too because it does.”

His lips press into a tight line. “Blood stains your hands ‘cause of me. S’my fault. I was responsible for you. I was s’pposed to take care of you. I didn’t protect you the way I should’ve.”

You sigh.

“When are you going to stop blaming yourself, Joel?”

The muscle in his jaw ticks as it clenches. He averts his gaze, his eyes falling to the floor. He doesn’t answer.

You stroke the scruff of his beard lightly with your thumbs. “When are you going to stop thinking you’re not good enough for me? What’s it going to take for me to prove to you that you are all I could ever need and want?”

“You’re just wastin’ your fuckin’ life on me, darlin’. S’the truth and you fuckin’ know it as well as I do.”

Pulling your wrists out of his hands, you pivot on your heel and suck in a sharp breath, stubbornly blinking back the tears stinging your eyes. You’re frustrated.

It cuts you to your very core to know the man you’ve grown to love more than anything and anyone else on what’s left of this fucking planet can’t see that he’s enough. He’s more than enough.

Joel bites back his own frustrated sigh. He knows he can’t rely on you to tell him, rely on the reassurance—he needs to do his part and believe it. If he keeps trying to push you away, he just may very well succeed one day. He will lose you.

After a moment, he walks up behind you and wraps his arms around you, his lips lightly brushing your neck. “M’sorry,” he mumbles, his own voice thickening as a lump forms in the back of his throat. He’s quick to swallow it down. “Jus’ have a hard time believin’ you’re mine. S’almost like my mind is lookin’ to prove me wrong.”

“But I am yours, Joel. I’m yours, I’m fucking yours.”

It’s more than just reassurance. It’s an oath, one you’ll honor for the rest of your life.

He holds you tighter. “Yeah?” He nips at the delicate spot right below your ear, his teeth scraping along tender flesh. “S’that right, baby? You’re all mine?”

“All yours,” you confirm breathlessly as his hands slowly begin trailing down the length of your sides, his fingers skimming the hem of his t-shirt.

Joel swiftly turns you around in his arms and slips his hand between your thighs. The next thing you know, he has you backed up against the counter and he’s shoving his sweatpants down, freeing his hard, thick cock. With one of your legs hooked around his waist, he buries himself into the warmth of your cunt and begins to deliver smooth, languid strokes.

“Say it again, baby,” he rasps into your neck. He coaxes your other leg up and around his waist and his large hands curl securely underneath your thighs as he bucks up into you. He’d deal with the back pain later. He pants, “Need—need to hear you say it, my sweet girl.”

You hold onto the countertop behind you as he fucks you, your fingernails digging into the laminated wood. “Fuck, I’m yours,” you moan into his shoulder. “I’m all yours, Joel. Oh fuck—”

You say it over and over again and he believes it.

He finally fucking believes it.

Sweet nothings fall from his lips with each thrust.

“S’lucky you’re all fuckin’ mine.”

“My beautiful, beautiful girl.”

“Gonna keep you for the rest of my fuckin’ life.”

When he spills into you, there’s no regret on his part nor yours. You’d always wanted to feel him come inside of you—secretly, so did he. Joel’s deep, guttural groans bounce off of the kitchen walls as your pussy fills with him, with all of him, taking as much as it can before he begins leaking out of you and down the insides of your thighs.

“Jesus,” he exhales. He dips his head for a kiss. “You’re all messy now, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “How’s about we go upstairs and get back into bed so I can clean you up?”

Giggling, you mimic him and remind him of what he’d said earlier. “Y’know we gotta be up at the asscrack of dawn for patrol, right?”

Joel grins. “And your point is?”

You laugh again as he leads you out of the kitchen and back up to his bedroom—to yours and his bedroom.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller drabble #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel fic

[louebel]

— [ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 . . . 𝟐 .ᐟ ]

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: sanji, zoro, mihawk, buggy × gn!reader 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: not proofread and rushed,, it's not as wholesome as the first and more calm + horny my bad, lowercase, gets a bit explicit with sanji and buggy at the end... i am deeply sorry not. rest is sfw, fluff, and... fluff. usage of "baby, sweetness, honey, good boy" (and... others? i forgot) in all of them except zoro's, lots of caresses and kisses! these are rather short,, anddd dripping divider by @ benkeibear :) 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you couldn't help but share the sudden warmth you felt with them, resulting in... a lot of kisses! ... and more. part one is here!! though idk should i repost it? since it's in my archived blog— eh idk maybe not.

— 𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈, wc. 699

"sanji... honey..."

a very pleasant smell engulfed the kitchen. sweet and homely, a dish that piqued your appetite. seagulls could be heard outside the sunny, the sun rising slowly to greet all those who continued their lives.

and then there were you two, already awake. sanji always got up earlier, and so you did too, wanting to keep him company at such early hours. you could still hear sanji's wails and the rivers of tears plopping onto the wood at your kind gestures, and you swore you saw the sunny sweatdrop that day. (you were definitely not imagining things...)

"hmm? yes, love?"

his voice was your greatest weakness. freshly awake, groggy with sleep... if only you could both rest right now — what you'd do to feel him tend to your scalp, brushing his treasured fingers upon you, perhaps humming a tune in your ears. you remembered his words: "because my love for you is so profound, i can't contain it" and now, every time he murmurs, you melt a little more, thinking of what he said. of course, not all the time, sometimes he just does it.

sadly, however, you couldn't go back to sleep. he had to cook, and he was going to treat you with the most delicious, mouthwatering breakfast ever, but you'd still be disappointed since what you wanted was... something else. you were so spoiled...

"i think i could get something else for breakfast... it's fine, right?"

now, you know sanji despised wasting food. it wouldn't really be a problem considering luffy, but... why didn't you say anything?

he glanced at you from his shoulder, a bit perplexed. he felt his heart flutter as you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist, pressing your face on his tender nape.

"sweetness?"

"... those are definitely sweet," you pointed at the pancakes, already smiling, "but i think you're sweeter."

it was only morning, damnit. and yet here he was, already blushing, cheeks tinted a lovely shade of pink. a small chuckle rumbled from his chest, the cook lowering the heat as the first batch was ready, before turning to you and pressing a tender kiss upon your forehead.

"you do, love?"

"mhm. and, you know, i'd really like if you gave me some of your love right now. i think that's the most sweet... 'm thinking about just sitting here and kissing you all over while telling you "i love you, i love you, i love you" ," you brought his hand to your chest, smiling at how his visible eye softened. "feels really warm right here, just thinking 'bout it..." you were so wonderful that sanji might just die on the spot.

"oh, love... you can't just say those things so early..."

"hmm? and why not?"

"... m—might faint."

fainting in your arms didn't sound so bad though, he thought dreamily.

"ppff... if you faint, i won't shower you with kisses."

"i won't faint."

you giggled at his suddenly determined tone. tenderly brushing your lips around the side of his neck, you nudged his jaw, sliding your hands under his shirt, feeling him tense beneath your skimming fingers. his flesh felt firmer to the touch, lineaments of his abdomen and torso defined with each part you mapped.

"hmm... i love you so much, sanji. really love you, hon."

"... a—ah, getting handsy, aren't you?"

you loved how he got so flustered with just a couple of touches. he shuddered as you placed your hand on the crook of his neck, pulse quickening beneath your thumb. he was rather sensitive, there, too...

"you— you know, i, hnngh, think you're the sweetest..." he whimpered, his slender fingers finding your tantalizing ones.

"hmmm? is that so, honey?"

"y—yes — ohh... love..."

you were gliding dangerously lower...

"mmm... you're so hard, sanji." oh... "i think you should relax a bit before cooking..." oh my... "it's so early... you need proper rest." ba-dump.

"... i—i do, don't i? heh... hehe..."

"yeah, you do. come on... i'll show you just how sweet i am. will give you all my love. you want that, baby?"

"oh, ooh please... goodness, don't—don't hold back, mon ange..."

"mhm... good boy. relax..."

and soft moans soon filled the piquant kitchen — followed by smooches, wet sounds, and declarations of love from both ends.

you truly were the sweetest in his eyes.

— 𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐀 𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎, wc. 388

"zoro... your face looks pretty kissable today."

sometimes, zoro had no idea what went through your head. you've both been sitting on the deck, zoro against the mast and you lying your head on his lap. he was going to take a nap but it seemed you were feeling chatty, so he decided to entertain you for a little while before he dozed off.

he had no idea what you were thinking, but he liked it.

"does it?" he mumbled, gazing down at you to see you shift in his lap, eyebrow raising as you got up and cuddled to his side, chin on his shoulder. he tilted his head slightly, seeing your pupils dilating at the sight of him; already quite big as the sun was setting. he smirked, though the expression on your face only made his heart beat faster.

you looked completely smitten.

"yep. very."

"hmm..."

smooch. smooch. smooch.

"oi..."

and he probably did, too, in his own way. he couldn't see it, but you did. how he relaxed, how he so softly sighed. you smiled, realizing just how much he laid himself bare to you. it wasn't the same trust he shared with luffy, no. it was something more intimate. something... sweeter. and with each osculate to his neck and jaw, zoro loosened just a bit further, his consciousness slowly slipping away.

"hm. thought you said my face." yet, he still taunted you, with that stupid smug grin on his lips. you rolled your eyes, continuing to pamper him with love.

"shut up. mm..."

smooch.

"love you, zoro. so much."

you slowly pushed him down on the floor, the swordsman tensing a little before following your silent command. you lay on his body, his arms splayed on the wood, eye closed as you kissed his eyelid, brow, and nose. a reddish hue colored his cheeks, chuckling as your tiny, adoring pecks tickled his skin.

so lovely.

" 'that so..?"

"yeah."

your eyes mitigated further, noting the corners of his mouth curve up more. you were lucky...

"mhh... y'know, i think you look pretty kissable today, too."

he'll rearrange his naps, just for you. with a kiss to your lips, he sealed the unspoken "i love you" with his tender actions — his heart all yours.

and he'd care for your own... like one of his swords.

— 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊, wc. 338

perona was speechless. she knew, she knew. she knew that you were dracule's lover...

"miiiiihaaawk... will you look at me?"

but what she witnessed was as surprising as the first time you told her that.

you grinned at the sighing warlord, shutting his book as you've been pestering him for minutes. arms wrapped around him, kisses to his neck — he wasn't a man easily swayed, even by you. the armchair leaned back as he finally eased, your form against his soft.

"... do you have nothing to do?" he huffed, rather tired of your games. interrupting him was almost sin; perona had no idea how you lived. were these the privileges of being dracule mihawk's partner? he treated you so differently... how could you even fall for someone as brooding as him? every time she did something nice, like give him pastries or clean the castle as she had nothing to do, he'd ignore her completely. (though he appreciated it.)

"i do. i'm loving you." yet here he was, letting you speak and do as you wished with a faint smile on his face. he looked like a big cat.

"something other than that."

"hmm... no. i wanna love you right now."

the longer she watched from her little corner, the more her mind crumbled.

"... you're impossible."

"but you love me too. like how i love you. i love you a lot."

you were so... mushy. something that did not connect to mihawk at all — unless you were around. his actions conveyed what he felt, even if they were scarce at the moment.

"you..."

"like, a looot. you know? a lot. i really do."

but... no words would topple from his mouth, perona was sure of that.

"i reciprocate." incredibly sure.

"c'mon, say it." there was no way.

"... i love you too."

"there you go. good boy."

he could only sigh at your antics — though inside he felt as warm as a star. after that, perona left her hiding spot and dragged her jaw that sat on the floor.

— 𝐁𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐍, wc. 426

buggy was not happy.

he was not happy you gave him a kiss, in front of his whole crew, completely unbothered as you pretty much established he was yours. he did not like it. at all.

"just..! what do you think you're doing?! kissing me out of nowhere? they have no idea we're together! what if someone took a photo!—"

"did i tell you?"

"—tell me what?"

you chuckled while he blinked. it was always funny how simple it was to make him stop; one word and he'd immediately listen to you. it was as if his own temporarily had no weight, just to hear your own thoughts, only to slander them later or actually agree with them.

most of the time, he ended up stuttering. you loved how much he hated you teasing him; it became your favorite pastime.

"you look incredibly cute." your grin always meant trouble.

"my nose looks redder than usual??"

your chuckle the last sound he heard,

"no. you, look, cute. cute. adorable. precious." and your words forever his downfall.

you could see his cheeks gaining color, a pretty rouge that matched his lipstick and nose, mirth decorating your face at the view. he was just so, so so cute. but when he snorted and flailed his hands around with parts of his body floating at the use of his devil fruit... that's when he got even cuter.

"y—you say that all the time!" he squeaked and pointed at you, stomping closer to you to somehow look "threatening". in reality, he was just a cub. you kept on smiling, looking at him with an adoring gaze that managed to make his poor heart stop — your affection a treat he relished.

"i mean it." plus, when your voice had that adoring tone... he could do nothing but take what you said. maybe he was just making a big deal out of things...

"w—well! of course you mean it, hahaha! i'm... buggy the... aah..."

his eyes almost popped out of his sockets as you got closer to him; wrapping your arms around his waist, teeth nibbling his neck. a tiny, soft moan that made you shudder left buggy's lips, already trembling.

oh...

"... mm... love you so much, baby. 'm sure they don't mind the kiss... come here."

he could barely get a word in, before his squeals and whimpers reached even those outside, as all of his skin got caressed by your lips. soon, he was screaming "i love you too!" and your stunt was the last thing he thought about.

#one piece x reader #op x reader #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #one piece x you #sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x reader #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #roronoa zoro x reader #mihawk x reader #mihawk x y/n #mihawk x you #buggy x reader #buggy x y/n

[thelov3lybookworm]

As a slut for angst today “tolerate it” has been stuck on a loop and now I am imaging an angsty fic where Az just slowly begins to forget about reader and she threatens to leave but he doesn’t take her seriously and is so utterly destroyed when he comes back home and she’s gone…

Like I feel like it’s on brand with him and his duty to his job and whatnot. Plus the lyrics are so him coded “while you were out building worlds where was I” / “took this dagger in me and removed it” LIKE HELLO???

(But I also love a good happy ending so I feel like if azzy groveled hard enough… 👀)

Tolerate it.

Summary: She is fed up.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: ehehehehehe angsttttt yummy yummyyyy

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n laughed at Feyre's pathetic attempts at skipping the large puddle on the ground accumulated due to the rains that had Velaris freezing overnight.

Feyre failed miserably, her boots and leggings getting wet from the splash that signalled her downfall against the watery enemy of hers. But Feyre was not fazed. She simply laughed alongside Y/n, her eyes crinkling as the two of them made their way back to the river house.

It was visible already now, Y/n could even make out the grains in the wood of the door as it opened, and her brother in laws, along with her mate, spilled out.

Y/n could see from the corner of her eyes as her sister lit up at seeing her mate, her husband and the father of her child. The moment his eyes met her, she took off, her arms spread as she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. Rhysand did not hold back either, clutching Feyre to her chest with as much enthusiasm as she held him.

It made Y/n smile.

Y/n then glanced behind the embracing couple to her mate, the overwhelming urge to hug him too and to claim him in front of anyone watching making her start walking towards him without even realising.

Which was reckless, as the moment he realised she was walking towards him to hug him? He took a step back.

Y/n knew that he hated being affectionate in front of others, but this was cruel.

So to not get embarrassed by his rejection, Y/n turned swiftly towards Cassian, her other brother in law, who stood not too far from where Azriel did, and hugged him instead.

Cassian, Mother bless his heart, did not even question it.

He wrapped his arms around Y/n and literally lifted her off the ground, cackling when Y/n's fist made contact with his shoulder over and over again as she demanded to be put down.

Y/n had to stop herself from thinking back to that day. She did not want to relive the pain she had felt, the sadness and anger.

Y/n watched his eyes fluttering, wondering if he was dreaming. Wondering who he was dreaming about.

It definitely was not her, that was for sure.

Y/n, feeing a little sadness taking root in her heart, returned to the portrait in her hands, questioning if it would even be worth it finishing it up when he sure as hell wouldn't even acknowledge it. Or her.

Y/n glanced at the paint supplies she had placed on the coffee table next to her, having wanted to capture a moment of him letting his guard down, of him being vulnerable using her best paints, knowing he would not care.

She guessed living for as long as he had, life and the small things didn't matter as much anymore. Maybe that was why he loved to go on the missions Rhysand, Y/n's brother in law, gave him.

It probably gave him the thrill nothing else did anymore.

With Y/n's sister just having given birth to the starlight of the court, Rhys had become more and more protective, sending his brothers and anyone and everyone at his disposal to check and report about every trivial thing that made his primal mate and father side get protective.

Slowly, Y/n reached for the brush that rested in the cup half filled with coloured water, deciding to finish the half done portrait. If he did not care... she did not now what she would do then, but she did know she was tired of being tolerated by him.

But what could she even do? It was not like she could just up and leave.

Y/n blinked.

Or... could she?

Y/n shook her head, as if to dislodge the though, and with a sigh, she let herself get lost in the soft skill of painting her sister had taught her long ago, when staying up and huddling under worn blankets was the only thing bringing any warmth.

Trying not to think about the fact that the last time she remembered him caring for her, genuinely caring for her, was only when the two had been in their early stages of relation ship and the mating bond was a very new experience to a newly made fae Y/n, she continued using the soft and strong, long and short strokes to finish up her latest masterpiece.

Of course, Y/n never would call herself a creator of masterpieces, but any and all art that included her perfect mate was destined to be a masterpiece.

Time lost its meaning, and all that mattered was capturing the perfect angle for his eyes, nose, lips, shoulder.

Nothing existed but Y/n, her art, and her muse.

Nothing existed but the soft rise and fall of his back as he lay sprawled on his stomach, the effortless way his wings draped across the whole bed, taking up space three wingless fae could have slept in.

Where Y/n would have slept in, on days when everything had been filled with stars and dreams, wrapped under his warm wing like it were a living blanket.

When he pretended he was nothing, absolutely nothing but her mate. Her husband. Not a spymaster, not a shadowsinger, not a brother. Just her mate, her lover.

Those days were far gone now.

•○🌑○•

Despite the fact that she knew he would most definitely not care, Y/n was excited.

And that was downplaying what she felt.

The wait was killing her, the amount of adrenaline in her bloodstream making her want to jump around to get rid of the energy that made her shiver, her limbs going cold and warm at the same time. She had to push her fists together and shove them between her thighs to keep them from shaking, which did not help at all.

So Y/n waited, her body clenched in anticipation as she stared at the doorway that led into the living room, a big grin on her face.

She glanced once at the sketchpad in front of her on the table, admiring her artwork for a moment.

She never liked whatever she made, always feeling like it lacked something. So for her to be excited to show off her art to her mate was a huge indication to how much she loved the portrait.

The familiar scuff of worn boots drew Y/n's attention, and she shot to her feet, pressing her fists to the back of her thighs.

It had become a habit of Azriel's, to purposefully make some noise before he stepped in view so as not to startle her with his appearance.

The action melted Y/n's heart every single time.

He stepped into view, as ethereal as the day Y/n had first seen him as a human, just as beautiful as he had looked that day as he tried to get comfortable on the small chair in the manor on the other side of the wall, just as loveable as that day when she had ended up losing her heart to the low born fae that should have intimated her.

He was fumbling with his armor, making sure it was all secured properly before he left for whatever mission Rhys assigned him for that day.

He glanced up just as he walked past Y/n to the kitchen counter, a small smile gracing his face before his attention was again diverted.

Y/n tried not to deflate at his lack of enthusiasm.

"Good morning love. Look-"

"Good morning Y/n." He cut her off, his voice void of emotions, as if he was tired of saying the same thing every morning and wanted to get it over with. He didn't even glance at Y/n as he said it, and Y/n pretended not to notice that he used her name instead of whatever endearing name he would have picked before.

"I will be on a scouting trip to Illyria, and after I have a meeting and dinner scheduled with Rhys and Cass, so I will be late coming home. Don't wait up."

Y/n's smile faded. "Don't wait up or stay out of my way?"

Azriel froze. "What?"

Y/n released a humourless laugh. "Nothing. Go have fun."

Azriel turned, giving her a hard look. "You know I would rather stay at home with you."

Doubtful.

Y/n so badly wanted to say it to his face, but she did not want to fight with him so early in the morning, so she sighed, smiled and nodded.

He started walking towards the door, and despite her anger, Y/n walked forward to kiss his cheek.

She did not miss how he recoiled.

Y/n masked the hurt before he could see it, and he gave her an awkward smile before he maneuvered to walk around her, careful not to brush against her.

Y/n watched him walk away, staring hard at the door even long after he'd left.

She then glanced at the portrait she had abandoned on the table, and, her heart hardening, turned away.

She was tired of having her love be tolerated, and she would not have it be that way anymore.

Either he accept her love the way it was, loud and clear, or he go find someone else.

And so, she turned, walked up the stairs to the bedchambers she shared with Azriel, and began to turn it back into just his bedchambers.

She would no longer be tolerated only because some godly entity thought she and him would make great, powerful kids and tied them together with a string.

She deserved to be cherished.

•○🌑○•

Part 2

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

#azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel fic #acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfic #acotar fluff #acotar series #acotar writing #mating bond #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #acotar headcanon #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel fanfic #azriel x you

[drchucktingle]

Chuck, how do you deal with people who are rude about you and your work? I write queer romance and I want to put my writing out there for people to read, but I'm a very sensitive person and I know it will be hard not to take insults personally and let them affect me. I don't want to let that stop me from expressing myself and sharing my art, but I'm scared!

very good question buckaroo. i am a good example of this as pretty much EVERYONE was rude about my work for many years calling it 'so bad its good' (it is just good) and 'terrible photoshop' (i think it has a great and instantly recognizable style) and 'intentionally stupid premises' (i dont think there is anything stupid about sex being fun and whimsical and playful). even these days the reaction of the VAST majority of buckaroos who discover chuck have this reaction AT FIRST, and then learn to appreciate the tingleverse in a more sincere way over time.

all that is to say BEING DOUBTED HAS WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR ME. art that changes meaning over time can be very powerful, so if someones initial reaction to my trot is one thing and then it evolves into another thing, well that is just good art. while it can feel bad to get a bad review, i would say a bad review just means you have entered a realm of tension and change and discord and WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT ART BUD so that, in itself, is very exciting.

i think of what i do as 'punk writing', and a big part of that means pushing against preconceived sensibilities. not many other authors will proudly say 'there SHOULD be some spelling errors in my erotic shorts because i wrote it in a day and edited it once. that is the FEELING i want to create', but that is my way. by creating what is in my soul i KNOW i am going to bother some buckaroos and that is okay.

now i am NOT assuming you are also doing punk writing (that is okay of course we all have our own styles. what i am doing with tinglers is pretty rare), but it still stands to remember that there are 7.8 billion people on the planet of this dang timeline and some of them are bound to be bothered by your creations. that is not a problem, that is just part of baring your authentic self.

the other thing to remember is theres no REAL right or wrong in art. it can be analyzed in different ways and i tend to look at it in a way of comparing intention to result, but even THAT is not strictly correct. therefore any bad review of something you make is not actually BAD it is just someones information and feedback for you to take or leave. a one star review is just another opinion, it is no more right or wrong than your own opinion, and that is wonderful. it is freeing.

if i see a bad review of my own book, lets just say CAMP DAMASCUS for instance, i do not get upset because i know this: that reviewer is not wrong. camp damascus is five stars for me, but it is one star for someone else AND THAT IS OK. THAT IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. THAT IS GREAT ART. also MAYBE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN I DO. just because i wrote the book does not mean i am the authority on it, and the conversation and tension between those that enjoy something and those that despise it is a creative act. the audience engaging with your work is just your art emerging from its cocoon and saying 'here i am. lets see where i flutter off to now'

do not fear the river of this timeline sweeping away your creations and carrying them where it will. this is inevitable, but it is also beautiful and freeing. you cannot swim against it and that is okay bud, because YOU HAVE ALREADY WON. you have already created something and given a piece of yourself back to this timeline and that is a great honor and privilege. it is literally all there is

by creating ANYTHING you are proving love is real, and that is something to be proud of

#buckaroo lifestyle #art #creation #chuck tingle