#fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you

[aq2003]

oh btw i get even more why brennan (like me) clocked sophomore year fabian as fucked up and sad even if some of the other pcs were like "what are you talking about dude" . it's because the basic core theses of fabian and leiland eftbk as characters are actually pretty similar

#AND matt mercer was like 'yes absolutely. my character has so many issues' meanwhile b4 lou could even say anything siobhan/adaine #went 'fabian isnt depressed his life rules.' #which like. 1) deeply incorrect statement. 2) fairly in character for adaine to say. 3) unfortunately this caused #a pretty big shift in tone w regards to how seriously fabian's arc ended up being executed #2.5) i could write a whole other post on how point 2 could be a super interesting thing to explore w adaine #she starts off so aware of there being no love from her parents towards her. so she sees love between a parent and a child #and cant conceptualize their relationship being ultimately harmful. like she learned long ago that there was no point seeking approval from #her parents meanwhile fabian made it his whole entire life's goal to do just that thing. both of them are fucked up in opposite directions. #crunchy concept yet very unexplored. and i'm not expecting this to happen in a potential s3 im just throwing ideas around like basebal #d20 #eftbk #fantasy high #sorry wrote all those tags then forgot to elaborate on how fabian and leiland are similar anyway it's this whole idea of #having this unhealthy dependency on the approval of someone you admire to the ends of the earth despite them being #fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you #whole entire worldview was. and THEN you have an embarrassing breakdown in front of ur friends #and this is SO terrifying because you have really tried your best to look really cool and put-together in front of them #it's the 'getting knocked down SO hard and having to build yourself up by recognizing the love from your friends #+finding something completely different from the person you hinged your entire being on in order to find your way to the surface' of it all #also galfast/whitclaw are surprisingly similar narrative wise it's so funny to me. th storytelling series of nat 1s against an op enemy </3 #i think it WAS easier to execute leiland's character arc in the way it was bc a) he was played to be so CLEARLY insecure from minute 1 #and b) it is very easy to condemn ripoff sauron and say 'yeah this guy sucked and we're glad that leiland and maggie are free from him' #meanwhile for fabian. a) he has convinced himself that nothing is wrong with him even though there so clearly is #and b) you have to acknowledge that bill loved his son so deeply yet was such a bad influence on him #it's such a bittersweet-bitter complexity and i imagine it would be super hard to pull off esp when bill and fabian's dynamic is #played as fairly comedic most of the time. in this vein of 'this evil guy is so evil but he cares about his son this hard and it's funny' #and also just the fact this kind of bitter complicated parent-child dynamic is very rarely portrayed and pulled off well. #WHY the fuck are these tags so long if you read all this i'm so sorry