#give me the internal conflict!!!!

[puppyeared]

how. do u sona....

#i want to give myself a solid sona that. isnt just me with puppy dog ears and a tail slapped on but its hardddd #i want to make like a snowman that can change shape but it keeps certain features like branch antlers and a carrot nose #for consistency yk. but im struggling to find a balance between smth i like drawing and smth that looks like me #how often does one's sona resemble the artist irl.. for one i dont have bangs but i love drawing characters with bangs #so its just an internal conflict on if i should give my sona bangs if i dnt have them but love drawing them. etc etc #maybe im thinking abt this too hard bc nobody really knows what i look like anyway and i can do what i want anyway #but i get hung up on small details like that. like im worrying abt stuff like damn how tf am i gonna draw a snowman in the summer #girl... its a fuckig drawing.... follow your heart. but also HOW. i cant even draw myself with bangs bc it feels like im lying augh auuhggg #its 4 am im too tired for this. im goig to bed #my art #myart #doodles #wip

[snowyh2o]

The question isn’t about whether or not Alastor cares or if he’s actually attached. The question is, is that attachment he has stronger than his desire to go through with his plans.

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #and that’s why i love him #bastard character catches feelings #and now he has to decide between them and his goals #hoping season 2 gets to explore this internal conflict further #aka give me more angst #I want to see him DESTROYED by his decision #the hotel or the deal #Charlie or his freedom #yes I am very (not) normal about him

[ittybittybumblebee]

i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but #i feel like it does give good insight #i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough #to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense #gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh. #GUHHGGGHGH #it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself #than that #do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus #i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions #while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose #autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not #im just so conflicted. #do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence. #im so tired #i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta #Now do you get me #all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion #and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them #enjoy my indentity crisis lol #i Might delete some of these tags later

[butwhypants]

I have a question and I’m not trying to be annoying. I just want to understand because I feel like I have been misunderstanding how Zionism should work.

Obviously, Zionism is the belief that a Jewish state should exist in Israel. The thing I’ve been misunderstanding is how this can be achieved while protecting the Muslim arabs.

What I mean is, there are a lot of Arabs in West Bank and Gaza, and if Israel gave full citizenship to these people, they would outnumber Israeli jews, and this it would no longer be a Jewish state.

How, realistically, would the Jewish state, protect the rights of the Arabs while remaining fundamentally Jewish?

The main solution I have seen is a two-state solution, but I feel like that would force Jews to leave their homes in the West Bank.

I understand if you aren’t comfortable answering this - I’d just like to try to understand both sides. It’s hard to get unbiased info from the news.

Thanks for the polite question.

The problem with the question I think here is twofold, first Zionism is a very specific word. Zion is the name for the hill that Jerusalem is built on, and was used by the Israeli people when we were taken as slaves to Babylon in the 5th century BC. Zionism isn't inherently about a Jewish state existing, but about the right of the Israelite people to return to Zion, now known as Jerusalem.

The second problem, and I don't mean this with any disrespect, is that you've fallen for the Great Replacement theory as espoused by Ben Shapiro and Elon Musk. It's a very common and very insidious idea, which is based on the idea that if "foreign" cultures were allowed to come in to a society that they would outnumber and overthrow the people currently there. That's not true, and in fact a majority of the Palestinian people ARE Israeli citizens, with full legal and voting rights. Israel is not a theocracy (significantly more religious diversity then the US has for example), and maintaining a religious majority should not and can not be our goal. Allowing the Jewish people self determination in our homeland does not have to correlate with oppression or discrimination against the Palestinian people who also live there.

This current war betrays the fact that there is a long history of cooperation and conflict between all these groups - Eretz Israel is the most contentiously fought over piece of land in the history of the world, and this current war isn't even in the top one hundred most deadly. On the other hand though, cooperation has happened before and it will happen again. Muslims and Jews are not automatically enemies - we've both been willing to make sacrifices on hardline religious interpretations for the sake of peace before, and I hope we can do so again.

Fundamentally, the Jewish people have a long history of living in Israel and we have the right to live there safe and free. However, the Palestinian people ALSO have a long history of living in Israel and have the right to live there safe and free. There is no solution here that will create a mono-state of any culture or religion, and especially not when it is the most important place to 4 billion disparate people.

#I'm not a politician and I won't pretend I can solve a millennia old conflict #but I truly feel that Gaza needs a central leadership that can be interacted with and can take responsibility for its own actions #like Israel and Jordan have #we have all been living here for millennia and we will all be living here for millennia more #I don't think a two-state solution will work because of the depths of the religious conflict #Hamas will always hate Israel. Houthi will always hate Jews. The Likud will always oppose Palestinian sovereignty. #An end to this conflict will come from internal political changes on both sides #but my understanding of the history of the region does not give me an answer for the future I'm sorry #Jumblr #I ramble

[watchmakermori]

rereading The Bedlam Stacks: my feelings six years on

until recently, I'd only read The Bedlam Stacks the once - back on release, within the span of a few days. I'd enjoyed it at the time, though not nearly as much as my beloved Watchmaker, so I thought it was time to go back to it and see how my feelings on it have changed.

back in 2017, I recall enjoying the first third of the book a lot, finding the middle section a bit slow, and thinking that the ending was a bit sudden. Having reread it again, my thoughts are similar in some respects - I still think that the pacing is strongest at the beginning, and hits a sluggish section once Merrick gets to Bedlam. My feelings on the ending are complicated, because part of me thinks that it's missing something, but part of me thinks it has the best conclusion of any Pulley book so far.

Bedlam is a difficult book for me to critique. There is so much that I love about it, so many isolated scenes and concepts that stick with me, and the prose is fresher and more beautiful than I remembered. The scene where Raphael turns to stone for 70 years is so beautifully, horrifyingly handled. The markayuq are a haunting, fascinatingly original concept. Merrick and Raphael, while hitting a lot of the classic Pulley duo tropes, stand out in many other ways - the fact that their romance is only implied, and left somewhat ambiguous, is actually a novelty against the context of her other works. They also feel more...mirrored than other Pulley pairings? Most of her romances seem to thrive on difference. Differences in class, in race, in intellectual standing, in physical strength. And obviously Raphael and Merrick have some of that, but they're also markedly similar in a lot of ways. Even though Merrick doesn't have Raphael's strength, he does have the memory of being a much stronger and healthier man. Both characters have a past of physical violence, and they are both shown to be capable of it in the narrative itself, as with when Raphael shoots the passing traveller and Merrick strangles Martel to death.

Their relationship to disability is also similarly mirrored, because both of them are haunted by old versions of themselves. Raphael is watching himself turn into a markayuq, feeling himself lose time and mobility, knowing that his transformation is impending and inevitable. Merrick also knows that he will never again be the man he was before his leg injury; he has to adjust to it, to work around it and accept that it has changed him. The acceptance of inevitability is a really interesting theme in Bedlam, which feeds all the way through Merrick and Raphael's central friendship. They don't really get the best of anything - they meet under bad circumstances, for less than a month, and they will never have enough time together due to Raphael's condition and a thousand other factors. But that doesn't mean that their friendship isn't worth something, that it isn't immensely precious.

So there's a great deal that I love about Bedlam on a thematic level, but I do think that the actual plotting of the book is quite weak overall. There are lots of isolated scenes that I love, but the connecting tissue is somewhat thin. The middle of the book involves a lot of waiting - waiting for the snow to clear, waiting for Clem to return, waiting for Raphael to tell Merrick the truth and take him beyond the salt line. Merrick does not have a great deal of intentional impact on the narrative, so it does often feel like you're sitting around waiting for the plot to come to him.

That's not to say that the plot needed to be bolder or bigger. It didn't need to focus more on the search for quinine. Honestly, I don't think high-stakes drama is one of Pulley's strengths - her forte is small interpersonal conflicts between select units of characters. In Watchmaker, the conflict and stakes don't really come from the lurking bomb threat or the police investigation - it's about Thaniel struggling with his own desires over the impulse to do the 'right' thing. Grace represents a more conventional path for him - a wife, a house, a future with children, and the money to look after his sister and nephews. But Mori is who he actually wants. And those warring desires come into greater and greater conflict as the story moves from beginning to middle to end. Thaniel's goals are not static.

But in Bedlam, there isn't that same sense of escalating tension and raising stakes. Merrick has his reservations about Raphael and whether he is dangerous, but ultimately, those reservations don't really change the decisions he makes. So much of what happens feels like it was always going to happen, which means that a lot of the tension feels somewhat...inorganic. Intangible. There isn't even the threat of discovery for most of the book, because Raphael knows exactly why Merrick is in Bedlam and Merrick makes no attempt to hide the truth. He keeps quiet about the threat of the army, but even if Raphael had discovered it sooner, it doesn't feel like it would've materially impacted how the story played out.

So it's a hard book for me to articulate my feelings on. The themes and concepts and characters and isolated scenes are excellent, but the story feels - just slightly - like it is less than the sum of its parts. At times, it seems more like a series of episodic events than a narrative, even if those episodic events are still deeply enjoyable.

But the ending is immensely powerful. The melancholy and the joy of it. The simple devotion of Merrick being there when Raphael wakes, 20 years later, with a cup of coffee - which was what Merrick had gone to make when Raphael first went into stasis. It is simultaneously an act of mundanity, and also an act of incredible loyalty and dedication - and love often does shine brightest in those small moments of devotion.

A while ago, I was lamenting that Pulley only ever gives us happy, cosy endings rather than something more tragic and bittersweet, but I don't think I was actually accurate on that. The conclusion of Bedlam is desperately sad, for all its loveliness. Because while Raphael and Merrick are reunited, we can't know how long they will have together. The story denies us that knowledge, that closure, by ending just as Raphael laughs.

I'm so glad I reread it. It is a bit of an odd fish next to all of Pulley's other works, and that makes me appreciate it much more with retrospect. This reread also reminded me, on a more general level, of everything I love about Pulley's writing - the sublime weirdness and the quirky characters and the nonchalance with which she handles speculative elements. For all her flaws as a writer, nobody is doing it like her, and I truly cannot wait for The Mars House.

#the bedlam stacks #natasha pulley #i do love her books because they always give me so many THOUGHTS #what's notable about pulley is that her actual broad arching plots do not tend to be what I remember about them #I don't remember a lot of the sprawling political stuff in pepperharrow #but I DO remember the aching internal conflict of thaniel desperately worrying that mori is not what he thinks #the smaller personal drama is where her books REALLY shine #so I think her work is at its best when she leans into that #as with watchmaker. the dramatic climax of grace engineering an explosion has barely half of the weight #of thaniel steepleton leaving his wife on his wedding night and going to kiss keita mori

[karmicpunishment]

tachihara and his brother make me so fucking sad :,-(((

like tachihara couldn't have been older than idk 5 or 6 when his brother died. at that point how much can he even really remember of him?

and going off the fact that his family endlessly compared him to his brother and wished that he died instead, how much does he remember about his brother that is true and not just rose-tinted memories forced on him by his parents and soured by his own resentment?

does he know how much he grew to look like him? did he dye his hair because of it?

#sorry they make me insane #i would pay asagiri bank to give us more information on them pspsps #TELL US THE BROTHERS NAMEEEEEE #and i'll always be upset at bones for cutting out the panels of tachihara's family/internal conflict during sky casino arc #but seriously how horrible it must have been to be 6 years old and compared to your dead brother #tachihara michizō #tachihara michizou #tachihara bsd #tachihara meta #bsd #bsd meta #the soldier bsd #that soldier bsd #tachiharas brother #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs

[earl-grey-love]

I think what makes ob. stand out to me as an otome game is that unlike a lot of otome casts, the love interests are inherently, drastically flawed, and you don't "fix" them. Like sure you help them understand themselves and each other better and give them a chance to show their best qualities, but they're never going to get over their flaws and shortcomings. They're just like that and that doesn't make them any less loveable. In fact it's part of what makes them so charming. They wouldn't be the same without their quirks.

None of them are the perfect guy who can give you the world on a golden platter... but they would try. And they don't expect MC to be perfect either. That's real love to me. (Major bonus points for a genderneutral MC too!)

#I also like that you don't have to pick just one guy and can play as platonically as you like #I don't have a vast amount of experience with otome games Ill be honest #they rarely actually pull me in either bcus the often male love interests don't appeal to me or the story isn't complex enough #and I don't mean that in a high brow looking down my nose snobby way #it just doesn't appeal bcus it doesnt provide what I captivates me #I do love romance as a side experience in rpgs or like strdew for example #but afaik most otome games feature the same kinda guy as standard romance novels yknow the like sexy ceo and famous idol and big buff jock #which yknow. valid. I do love a rich man myself. #but they're big league boys and often have highly attractive traits #and the conflict is generally external or if it is internal its overcome with some love and then its just #wow ur with a hot guy 💖💕💖💕💖💕💖 #which bores me idk give me a complex annoying dude that I can love anyway #but those things are super popular for a reason Im just a dude with different taste #sunny speaks

[featherglum]

Trucius or something. I don't like him and neither should you.

#featherglum art #the cyberiad #blorbo from my books #cyberiada #robot character #stanisław lem #trurl #klapaucius #fusion au #i imagine his only purpose would be to speedrun a very annoying project #and as soon as it's done he's gone #because even if he tried to exist longer he would just fall apart after the smallest internal conflict like #“yeah that went well don't you think” #“eh not really. there's a few things we could've handled better and-” #aaand just like that he's gone #i made him because i remembered how a few years ago i was obsessed with making character fusions #and i knew that if i had gotten into Lem's stuff back then I totally would've combined #every single guy I've ever cared about #like i can just imagine past me drawing trucius angst and a zilly goofy tichy and tarantoga fusion #or giving the tichy and Trottelreiner fusion the most mental stability for no gotdamn reason

[moe-broey]

One thing about me is I Will get annoyed when the gay struggler protag has internalized homophobia. LIKE in a very unserious way LMFAO BUT. I do get So Annoyed by it, like, come on man, I know exactly why this happens and exactly what you're going through but like. Idk if it' sthe autism or the transgenderism but like can we just be honest with ourselves. It's okay. Take My Hand 🫱

#like man when i was a bisexual struggler in my teens i don't even think it ever felt wrong. #that shit was just imposed upon me by outside forces. i had no inner conflict except for a faith crisis #and losing my entire community and disappointing my entire family. but hey! i AM the gift that keeps giving 😇 #also i was never good at hiding shit. i have been outed more timed than uou would fucking believe and it was on me #like. i just have a too strong urge to be myself. which is INSANE actually #considering the defense mechanism i DID end up developing where i was also just. something else entirely #idk maybe i'm not any better than the gay struggler protags w internalized homophobia. maybe i got some other shit goin on. #autism. probably.

[crowdsourcedloner]

What is your character's relationship like with their body? Are they confident in who they are, or do they experience any kind of dysphoria (not just limited to gender but, if they do, feel free to explain why that is)? Do you think this relationship has the capacity to improve or worsen over time?

(this is long lol. be warned.)

Yomi has the happiest relationship with her body, relatively speaking. She is proud of being au ra, she loves the shape of her horns, and she'll trace her own scales for comfort. The only discomfort she experiences is more related to loneliness - she doesn't have auri friends in Ul'dah so she has difficulty finding scale care supplies or receives strange looks for trying to affectionately horn bonk her adoptive family. To their credit, her adoptive sibling Zezene wears a pair of catoblepas horns to help her feel less alone, which has worked surprisingly well. She's decently confident in her appearance, though it's tempered by a healthy dose of modesty. The only way for her to feel even more comfortable with herself would be to get a few auri friends, but barring that its more likely she'll stay at the same level of self confidence.

-

Zezene is generally happy with their body. They were born female, but they don't have a strong attachment to any gender identity and greatly prefer being androgynous in presentation. They've considered what life would be like in a man's body, but came to the conclusion that nothing would change for them regarding their self image if they were physically male. Luckily them being a lalafell means there's not much of a physical difference either way. They radiate an easy confidence about themself that's more sincere than any word they say, and there's not much room for that view to improve. The rare dysphoria they do feel comes more from others assuming they are female by their name and addressing them as such, but this is increasingly rare as their reputation outpaces their activities.

-

Verre views her body as a tool, albeit one that's very well worn. She's comfortable in her skin to the point of not paying attention to it most of the time - she only let Yomi mess with her hair at first because she noticed it after the fact. There is room for her self confidence to go either way, but as her story is now she becomes more confident in her abilities rather than her appearance. In her eyes, why should she care for the appearance of a wrench if it does it's job?

-

Nailah has had a rocky relationship with herself overall, and her body is no exception to this. She dislikes having her appearance commented on in any way and, fearing insincerity or mockery, quickly dismisses compliments. Mirrors have a habit of showing her the tired and scared woman she is rather than the hardened mercenary she wants others to see, and she's avoided them almost religiously for years. She sees her arms as too thin, her chest as too small, her tail as too long, her height as too short - every part of her isn't good enough in her eyes.

One of the biggest conflicts regarding how she sees her body is how she scars - or rather, how she doesn't. Her body has an incredible amount of aether which, combined with her own skill at magick, means the overwhelming majority of her injuries are healed with no visible scars. She can feel them littering her body under her fur, and if someone were to touch her they would likely feel them as well, but an outsider wouldn't see what she knows is there. She has long since lost track of where each scar is from, but each passing remark of her coming out "unscathed" from one job or another rubs in a sense of wrongness that she can't shake.

It isn't until she's well established as the Warrior of Light and started opening up to the people around her that she's started reevaluating how she sees her body - going from absolute self loathing and disgust to something approaching neutrality. She's still very uncomfortable around compliments and reflective surfaces, and formal dress events or balls inspire dread and fear like no other, but she's slowly improving.

#answered asks #thank you for the ask! your questions are always a delight! #fun fact #i've debated having verre lose an eye or arm #and have her build a new one for herself #itd serve a dual purpose of reinforcing both the dangers of her work and the help it can provide #and it gives her a good lead into spreading her work to the rest of the world #biggest thing stopping me is i dont mod so itd all be off model stuff #and that bothers me more than anything #but if a vanilla robot arm is added to the game yall cant stop me :) #also nailah's conflict between internal and external perceptions my beloved #oc: hrothwol #oc: verre hyskaris #oc: zezene zene #oc: yomi kaifu

[gnawer-of-table-legs]

Big fan of when character flaws are actually. Yknow. Flaws. Being closed off and cold isn’t necessarily a bad flaw to give a character, but it’s so overdone that it doesn’t feel like a flaw anymore. And then there’s stuff like in Percy Jackson, where Percy’s fatal flaw is “loyalty”— he would do anything for his friends even if it meant the end of the world.

and um. I love the books/series more than anything but girly pop (riordan) that’s not a flaw.

give me characters that are selfish. Greedy. Cowardly. Arrogant. Lazy. Envious. This is ESPECIALLY important for main characters.

@captain-will

thoughts?

Edit: I think that character flaws should have actual, permanent consequences more often— not just in tragedies. Give me a story where everything turns out okay, but there’s one relationship that will (justifiably) never be the same because of a character’s flaws. they aren’t enemies, they are STILL allies— but that does not and will not lead to forgiveness.

#My only real criticism with PJO #Love the series I promise #Unrelated: prejudiced characters. Give me characters that are biased against X #..but do not show or even FEEL aggression towards X when face-to-face or thinking about someone they know personally #Only when “x” is a concept and easy to judge because it has no human face. #Let THAT be a source of internal conflict!! Let that be character development!! Let it be the Main character!! #That’s how prejudice works sometimes and we CAnt fight it if we don’t understand it!!

[spidrboots]

how could he begin to explain his reasoning to steven when he could hardly understand it, himself ? it wasn’t that he couldn’t ( or shouldn’t ) date or find love because of his job. it was valentino & that stupid fucking contract that he made. it was the blood on his hands & the scars on his soul. love was as a privilege that he had since lost, again & again & again.

he couldn’t even fathom what would happen if an object of his affections dared return the feelings that he did his best to swallow down like a thick pill that would save him from himself. it simply couldn’t be. he hands steven a can of soda, one of the few things that charlie kept around the hotel, while he sipped from a mystery liquid in a tall glass.

“ that’s a real sweet thought, kid. love, datin’, the whole thing ; it ain’t all bad, for all people. it just — it ain’t for me. i’m a natural flirt, s’all. but it’s cute to see a kid dreamin’ big. ”

@hellcasted . / continued from here .

#( ic . / ) #hellcasted #ty for giving me an excuse to write abt angel’s internal conflict. #i could dump abt it forever.

[rosykims]

i cannot believe im saying this but ive been thinking about my cousland and sten all morning and theyre making me insane

#oc: elspeth #tay plays dao #ive been debating whether or not elspeth recruits him for WEEKS now #but contextually her being a cousland AND an archetypal 'hero' chara doesnt rly slide w the whole killing children thing lol #but ive finally settled on her recruiting him regardless and it makes sense in my head both in yhe moment AND narratively which is 🤪 #her whole arc is sort of abt her internal struggle irt being a warden (altruistic/heroic) which shes always wanted to be until she was one #vs being a noble (powerful/respected) which she never appreciated until she lost it #and feeling like both of them conflict with the other and thus feeling like shes not living up to either #she chooses to 'conscript' sten under the pretense of the warden redemption but a lot of it is her selfish noble streak #wanting to punish him for rendon howe's sins ..... #idk if this makes sense to anybody but me but obvs it also opens up more moral dilemmas #like..... she gives sten mercy and she WANTS to give loghain mercy and resents alistair for denying her the option #but she would never allow the same mercy to be extended to howe. with good reason obviously but yeah ultimately shes a noble and #quite unknowingly selfish underneath all the posturing and righteousness. she gets over it especially a bit after reaffirming her loyalty #to the wardens..... but yeah. her idea of heroes comes from very sanitized bard songs and chantry tales #she def realizes she cant have her cake and eat it too and i think sten surprisingly is the best character i have to explore that with???? #WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT ? NOT ME ❤ #anyways if u read all this ur a legend and u may be entitled to financial compensation

[foliosriot]

hey, who's your favorite band? (giving you internal conflict)

this is a bold question, my friend, so i think we’ll break it down a little bit

favorite band of all time: bad omens

favorite band as of rn: lorna shore

#you did give me a bit of internal conflict tho ngl #bad omens #lorna shore #𖤐 #𖤐: asks

[kitconnor]

yknow, when u think about it, it's absurd that people still manage to stuff up book adaptations. you have a book. you have like, every piece of plot + dialogue readily available to be written in to the script one way or another. and you're telling me you still managed to stray so far from the plot that it doesn't even remotely resemble the books but rather resembles a burning trash fire

#yes there are LOGICAL limitations like “how do i portray this really weirdly worded situation” or #“how do i portray this internal conflict” #BUT STILL????? give me 5 months some solid resources and a computer #i will write the mf script for u jfc #like. tell me im tripping this is reasonable HGJFDK #lucie.txt. #me abt both the tsc adaptations ........... no words

[bladetoblade]

vader and obi-wan's dialogue at this end of the fight is KILLING me

obi-wan is crying, he is BROKEN HEARTED, and he is apologizing

and vader just frowns at him and squints a little. anakin sees through his old master so easily, because he still knows him. after a calculated moment he takes on this look of malicious glee then says to obi-wan “i am not your failure, obi-wan...you didn't kill anakin skywalker...i did."

it's a LOADED line, because thus far, for the most part, vader has been throwing out the villain equivalent of "you suck majorly" and "i'm gonna beat your ass" and obviously "fuck YOU, obi-wan".

(you know in a way that demonstrates his continued attachment, hatred, obsession and desire for revenge against obi-wan)

they are mostly overt insults, overt threats, and pretty obvious digs at him but THIS LINE made me think

this is his response to the grief and guilt obi-wan has for him, but also his response to obi-wan's refusal to let go of anakin skywalker.

vader has this mantra: let the past die, kill it if you have to

above all, his priority is not killing obi-wan, it's killing anakin skywalker. it stems from a deep self hatred, but also a desire to escape this pain.

this line is a fucking insane line because anakin is helping obi-wan. he's helping him see that even though he looks at vader's face and sees his padawan, a man he loves, vader is not that man.

more then vader wants to blame obi-wan for the pain he's in, he wants obi-wan to kill him. he's giving him a reason, a motivation to end him, and he's helping him let go. he may be a sith, but he is helping obi-wan be a jedi and do his duty (because that is what he needs to do to make obi-wan finally kill him).

as obi-wan accepts this, there's this lack of processing, he says "then my friend is truly dead." without belief or passion, eyes lingering "goodbye darth." i don't think he believes anakin skywalker is dead, i think he understands now that this is how he will choose to die: by obi-wan's hand, feet planted firmly in the dark.

he walks away, refusing this. anakin's screams after him: "obi-wan!"

you can see how desperate he is, how dissapointed he is that obi-wan does not follow through and end this fight. after all these years anakin still knows how to reach into obi-wan, but the one thing he can't make him do is kill him.

#kenobi show #kenobi show spoilers #kenobi spoilers #i can't stand them #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #HAYDEN ATE THAT UP #the team™️ #fucking codependents #to me the whole 'darth' thing feels like an adult reluctantly going along with a child's stubborn refusal #obi-wan doesn't have the energy or ability to do anything but agree with anakin despite his own internal conflict on the matter #but he doesn't give him what he Wants (to die) #kenobi show analysis