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#got into a major car wreck had a family member die had my best friend disown me bc she joined a cult grandpa nearly died
hamletthedane · 4 months
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2023 year in review:
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ninafms · 4 years
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            *  𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐰  ,  𝐢'𝐦  𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲  𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠  around  to  posting  nina’s  introduction  ,  but  my  theme  made  me  upset  so  this  will  be  viewed  on  dashboard  only  for  now  !  my  name’s  𝐛𝐚𝐲  ,  i  prefer  either  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns  ,  and  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  .  i’m  in  my  final  year  of  college  so  sometimes  i  won’t  be  around  all  day  ,  but  since  i  only  work  two  days  and  all  of  my  classes  are  online  ,  chances  are  i’m  around  !  i’m  starting  this  little  introduction  at  exactly  2:30am  ,  so  chances  are  this  will  be  posted  at  like  ...  4am  (  lol  )  ,  but  i’m  super  excited  to  write  her  out  as  this  will  be  my  first  group  in  about  a  month  or  so  !  i’m  comfortable  with  messaging  through  the  im’s  if  that’s  better  for  you  ,  but  we  could  also  plot  on  discord  if  you’d  like  !  also  ,  don’t  forget  to  stream  blackpink’s  new  single  ‘  ice  cream  ’  with  selena  gomez  !
💀  *  [  jennie  kim  +  cis  female  +  she / her  ]  ——  have  you  met  na-young  “nina”  min  ?  they  are  a  twenty - three  year  old  senior  currently  studying  business  economics  with  a  political  science  minor  .  they  live  on  farrow  house  ,  and  word  around  campus  is  that  this  gemini  is  spellbinding  +  perspicacious  ,  as  well  as  combative  +  malevolent  .  i  wonder  if  they’ll  make  it  out  alive  .  biting  the  corner  of  her  thumbnail  when  focusing  ,  never  being  ashamed  of  back - to - back  walks  of  shame  ,  the  infectious  sound  of  her  laughter  traveling  the  hall  .
NAME  :  na-young  ‘  nina  ’  min  .
NICKNAME(S)  :  nini  ,  neens  ,  and  nana  (  by  her  parents  )  .
AGE  +  DATE  OF  BIRTH  :  23  +  june  2nd  ,  1997  .
ZODIAC  :  gemini  sun  ,  taurus  moon  ,  gemini  ascendant  .
MYERS - BRIGGS  PERSONALITY  TYPE  :  istp  .
MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  neutral  evil  .
ENNEAGRAM  TYPE  :  the  achiever  .
GENDER  +  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  +  she  /  her  /  hers  .
PLACE  OF  BIRTH  :  gangnam  ,  seoul  ,  south  korea  .
PLACE  OF  RESIDENCE  :  ivory  falls  ,  maine  .
SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .
ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .
OCCUPATION  :  senior  at  holloway  university  .
NATIONALITY  :  korean - american  .
ETHNICITY  :  korean  .
LANGUAGES  SPOKEN  :  english  ,  korean  ,  and  japanese  .
i  .  prosopography  .
nina’s  story  begins  during  the  chance  meeting  of  her  parents  ,  ara  kim  and  hyun-woo  min  ,  when  they  were  in  their  early  twenties  .  most  would  assume  that  they  weren’t  compatible  for  one  another  as  ara  was  the  spoiled  child  of  the  kim  family  ,  who  were  known  around  south  korea  for  owning  various  luxury  buildings  and  apartment  complexes  in  the  gangnam  area  .  hyun-woo  on  the  other  hand  was  your  regular  college  student  who  worked  a  job  he  hated  to  pay  his  tuition  ,  but  he  had  big  dreams  as  he  wanted  to  someday  own  his  own  architecture  firm  .  when  the  mindless  ara  wrecked  her  fancy  car  into  hyun-woo’s  beat  up  toyota  ,  it  was  love  at  first  sight  .
it  was  a  whirlwind  relationship  as  the  couple  was  engaged  within  six  months  of  their  meeting  ,  and  married  within  eight  .  with  their  access  to  unlimited  funds  ,  the  couple  had  a  lavish  wedding  ,  and  hyun-woo  no  longer  had  to  worry  about  his  tuition  payments  .  now  focused  on  his  degree  without  having  to  worry  about  money  ,  he  found  himself  on  the  development  team  at  his  new  family’s  company  shortly  thereafter  his  graduation  .
with  hyun-woo  having  his  dream  job  and  ara  having  her  dream  husband  ,  the  couple  was  thriving  .  they  lived  in  a  beautiful  apartment  that  overlooked  gangnam  ,  and  they  had  gone  on  vacation  to  bali  when  ara  revealed  that  she  was  pregnant  .  the  couple  was  overjoyed  to  be  welcoming  their  baby  into  the  world  ,  and  to  say  that  they  were  obsessed  with  her  from  the  moment  they  saw  her  in  the  first  ultrasound  and  she  was  the  size  of  a  lime  .  the  couple  welcomed  their  little  baby  nine  months  later  ,  and  they  loved  every  inch  of  her  the  moment  she  was  placed  on  ara’s  chest  .
growing  up  ,  nina  enjoyed  the  spoils  that  her  family  provided  for  her  .  she  went  on  amazing  trips  ,  wore  the  best  clothes  ,  and  even  got  pushed  around  in  a  six  hundred  dollar  stroller  .  despite  that  ,  though  ,  nina  was  a  very  precocious  child  ,  picking  up  on  her   developments  quickly  .  as  she  grew  older  ,  nina’s  parents  saw  that  their  daughter  was  interested  in  a  variety  of  things  ,  so  when  she  was  five  ,  she  began  taking  piano  lessons  ,  and  it  was  evident  that  she  had  a  natural  gift  .
as  the  years  passed  ,  nina  continuously  excelled  in  her  academics  and  the  extracurriculars  that  she  tried  out  for  .  as  she  attended  the  best  schools  in  seoul  ,  nina  was  the  one  who  answered  questions  first  ,  she  was  the  first  to  sign  up  ,  and  the  first  to  complete  tests  .  nina  was  the  one  who  constantly  won  awards  from  her  school  ,  and  she  was  definitely  the  one  who  never  allowed  for  someone  else  to  take  her  place  .  
it  was  something  of  a  shock  to  her  parents  that  she  wanted  to  attend  college  in  the  states  ,  but  her  parents  were  not  the  ones  to  tell  her  no  .  so  ,  nina  went  on  to  be  accepted  into  holloway  ,  and  she  majors  in  business  economics  with  a  political  science  minor  !  i’d  say  that  she’s  involved  in  a  lot  of  student  organizations  like  student  government  ,  and  she’s  a  member  of  the  tennis  team  !  as  nuts  as  it  sounds  ,  she’s  on  the  tennis  team  for  the  cute  outfits  ,  but  she  loves  the  sport  as  well  . 
ii  .  temperament  .
alexa  ,  play  ‘  i  don’t  care  ’  by  ariana  grande  !  she  doesn’t  care  about  what  other  people  have  to  say  or  how  people  feel  about  her  ,  especially  considering  how  shameless  she  can  be  in  most  of  her  actions  .  she’s  ridiculously  blunt  ,  but  really  hates  when  people  are  bitchy  for  no  reason  ?  i  don’t  know  ,  a  paradox  considering  that  she  can  be  bitchy  for  no  reason  too  FKNDSFUDS  .  responds  heavily  to  the  energy  that  she’s  given  .  fully  believes  that  the  sun  and  moon  determines  her  mood  for  the  day  .
sUpErIoRiTy CoMpLeX  ?  gOd  CoMpLeX  ?  sounds  about  right  .  she  doesn’t  outright  brag  about  herself  all  the  time  ,  but  she’s  definitely  the  type  to  bring  it  up  when  it  applies  to  the  conversation  .  nina  is  the  mean  friend  that  everyone  needs  ,  and  has  a  weird  dislike  for  people  who  are  too  nice  .  
nina  isn’t  a  stone  cold  bitch  ,  though  .  she  likes  having  fun  ,  she  likes  to  laugh  ,  and  she  especially  likes  to  spend  time  with  her  friends  .  she’s  capable  of  empathy  and  compassion  ,  yes  .  will  she  show  that  all  the  time  ?  of  course  not  !  considering  that  she’s  an  only  child  ,  nina  is  used  to  having  all  eyes  on  her  ,  so  she  has  no  shame  in  her  fame  when  she  comes  back  to  farrow  house  wearing  last  night’s  dress  and  carrying  her  heels  .
iii  .  headcanons  .
she  already  knows  that  graduate  school  is  in  her  future  ,  but  she  hasn’t  decided  on  where  she  wants  to  go  yet  .
nina  resides  in  farrow  house  ,  and  she’s  probably  the  worst  kind  of  roommate  there  is  considering  how  type  a  she  can  be  at  times  .  her  room  (  or  side  of  the  room  i’m  not  sure  of  the  setup  )  is  relatively  organized  at  all  times  .  she’s  a  lover  of  white  ,  but  white  with  color  ,  so  she  keeps  the  tones  light  with  soft  shades  of  pink  scattered  throughout  !  she  likes  a  gold  accent  ,  and  everything  has  its  own  place  .
doesn’t  like  to  leave  her  bedroom  without  making  her  bed  or  picking  things  up  .  at  night  she  may  just  slip  out  of  her  clothes  and  go  to  bed  ,  but  she’s  definitely  going  to  pick  it  up  that  next  morning  ,  even  her  walk  of  shame  clothes  KNJFDISF  .  
despite  her  behavior  at  times  ,  nina  is  someone  who  studies  hard  because  she  doesn’t  like  anything  less  than  an  A  .  although  i  will  say  that  she  obsesses  over  her  grades  ,  but  she  knows  that  if  she  slacks  then  she’ll  get  slacker  grades  .
this  is  pointless  KFNDJSF  but  i  draw  a  lot  of  her  style  inspo  from  itsyuyan  on  instagram  ,  but  she  also  loves  to  dress  in  a  quality  th*t  dress  when  she  had  the  chance  to  NFJDBSFDS  .  i  love  jennie’s  long  hair  ,  so  nina’s  own  is  canon  to  that  ,  and  she  definitely  had  the  iconic  e-girl  streaks  .  
iv  .  wanted  connections  .
i  would  love  to  have  literally  anything  that  ya’ll  throw  at  me  !  some  basics  that  i’d  like  to  write  out  are  best  friends  ,  academic  rivals  ,  friends  with  benefits  ,  confidant(s)  ,  frenemies  ,  good  /  bad  influence  ,  one  night  stand(s)  ,  flirtationship  ,  enemies  with  benefits  ,  and  a  current  or  ex  fling  !
i  love  a  good  women  loving  women  scenario  ,  so  i’d  like  to  have  an  ex  girlfriend  for  her  !  i  see  them  as  being  on  good  terms  and  they  simply  drifted  apart  ,  but  they’re  really  close  !  sometimes  they  can  get  a  little  touchy  feely  with  one  another  so  hello  👀  .
i  would  die  for  literally  any  form  of  angst  that  you  could  possibly  think  of  ? angsty  friends  ,  angsty  exes  ,  angsty  anything  .  i  love  to  put  myself  through  misery  so  honestly  …  bury  me  six  feet  under  and  i  will  literally  thank  you  .
all  aboard  the  heartbreak  train  ! this  ties  back  into  my  love  for  angst  ,  but  some  form  of  an  ex  or  maybe  even  someone  who  she  go  close  to  but  it  didn’t  really  work  out  ?  
maybe  even  a  will  they  won’t  they ? but  essentially  ,  clearly  these  two  have  feelings  but  for  some  reason  things  didn’t  work  out  for  them  and  now  they’re  probably  in  a  limbo  or  trying  to  determine  where  they’re  headed  but  they  absolutely  refuse  to  talk  about  it ! all  of  their  friends  notice  but  they  blow  them  off  and  ok  let  me  relax  and  actually  allow  us  to  plot  ,  but  just  some  potential  ideas  !
i  will  have  a  desired  relations  tag  that  i’ll  be  updating  as  frequently  as  i  can  ,  but  if  none  of  these  work  for  you  or  if  you  have  something  you  see  araminta  filling  ,  then  please  let  me  know  ! we  can  totally  brainstorm  or  if  you  want  ,  then  we  can  work  on  chemistry !
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amosbarot · 5 years
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( cismale ) haven’t seen AMOS BAROT around in a while. the DEV PATEL lookalike has been known to be (+) INSOUCIANT & (+) KEEN, but HE can also be (-) TROUBLED & (-) DERISIVE. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in COMPUTER ENGINEERING. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james. 20. EST. she/they. )
hello !! here is my other baby, who is...somehow, more of a mess than naeva !! no dilly dally, let’s jump right into it !!
TW: drug addiction/abuse, car accident. mental illness. 
a e s t h e t i c s ( except i am a sham of a person and sorta very much forgot to save my aesthetics so ! winging it ! )
floral suits and a light air of mock-arrogance, charming smiles and a mischievous glint, easy sarcasm and raised eyebrows. rolling joints resembling cigars, smoke drifting towards ceilings as conspiratorial rambles escape intoxicated lips,  wild gestures and toppled book stacks, four expresso shots at the stroke of midnight and equations leading off whiteboards. heavy eye bags and warm smiles, dismissive words and excuses. sleepwalking to the middle of the quad for the third time that week, donning white boxers littered with red hearts...again. secret glances and barely contained excitement, distractions from the obvious.
general info !!
full name: amos ronak barot
nickname(s): n/a !!
b.o.d. - january 17th, 24 yrs old, capricorn
label(s): the academic, the ebullient, the fallen, the icarcian.
height: 6′2″
hometown: london, uk ooo fancy
sexuality: wildly. chaotically. bisexual.
his stats can be found HERE
and his pinterest can be found HERE !
biography
introducing...another one of indira’s cousins !!!! 
born to olena barot, member of the american embassy in london/future U.S. ambassador to the UK and ronak barot, CEO of his very own computer company. needless to say, he and his younger sister alya were born into a certain wealth
they hopped between the US and the UK and wherever else they desired to go on vacation to with ease; UK for school and US for breaks, rome or paris or wherever else, simply whenever.
despite this though !! olena and ronak had always wanted their children to find their own success, to be financially stable without their assistance once they got older. therefore, it was a known fact in their household that they’d be cut off financially by the time they were 21.
luckily, neither of them really minded this? both children had always had an extreme thirst for knowledge and a wonder for things. even so--their childhood wasn’t quite typical, as their competitive natures led to them trying to one-up each other?
alya and amos grew up extremely close to each other, being so close in age it really didn’t feel as if she was the younger sibling; they were more like twins than anything. obviously, amos still gloated about being the eldest, but their bond was tight.
there were moments in their childhood where if anybody, and i mean anybody--spoke ill of alya, amos would get into physical alterations. he’s much more peaceful now, but the history is still there.
by the time amos entered sixth form, his studies were--while still very important to him--less frequent. he’d go out nearly every night, gone whole weekends, partying or being a general hooligan. 
alya, however, did not partake in these activities. this is where they differed--amos had always been an extrovert, fond of crowds and people and being in the center of it all. causing ruckus. wrecking havoc. alya’s always been...reserved, in the best way possible. few knew just what a gem she was, but she really was to be treasured. even so--the less time amos seemed to spend at home, the more distant alya became towards him.
but, surprise: despite being literally, incredibly smart, amos got BIG DUMBASS ENERGY and was very very oblivious to the why and how of this. which really, really did not help.
unfortunately, there wasn’t any time to dwell about this.
around the same time, tragedy struck the barot family.
after one of his lil’ runabouts, amos came home to find furniture being escorted out of their house, police--his sister crying, his mother ashamed, his father nowhere to be found. 
and soon after, amos found out that his father was arrested for a scandal that sent many into a tizzy. essentially: the company fucked over their own customers via stealing their info, committing some fraud, y’know, credit cards and social security numbers, sellin’ it. just. some nasty white collar crime.
it also wound up fucking up olena’s newly acquired position as the US ambassador for the UK. she was released from the embassy during ronak’s trials.
he ultimately wound up in prison, and olena moved their family back to the U.S.
and amos--being the big dumb baby he is, figured the best thing to do was to pretend it hadn’t bothered him one bit! so he did exactly that!
i imagine that they moved close to indira’s family, and amos spent a lot of time with her from there then.
however, in between pretending things were fine and dandy, and home life, and the drag and pull of parties, anxiety weighed down amos’ bones like...constantly. his family was now, essentially, poor with a mass debt thanks to their father. the expectations for amos to do good, to be better--the fall of amos’ biggest role model.
it was all too much. anxiety attacks became frequent, provoked by the slightest thing--he could only lay awake at night, sleep infrequent. he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and insomnia, and treated for both--some days it still doesn’t feel like enough.
getting a scholarship to lockwood is probably the best thing to happen to him in a long time. it was a new look into a potential future.
got into the uh...career, of sorts, of doing people’s assignments for them for a hefty payment, alongside his normal job. just to make sure he had spending money and whatnot.
involving tatiana: their friendship bloomed after he did a few assignments for her, y’see--then came the midnight adventures, and whatnot. i wouldn’t have called them close by any means, but they had fun together when they weren’t arguing. their friendship ended after a pretty bad car accident--neither were fatally hurt, but the car was wrecked and it was amos’ fault and it just. sorta was the end of that.
he’s got a...reliability on his sleeping pills, if you will. it’s not healthy in the slightest, but he’s convinced it’s nothing serious. it’s pretty serious.
his eyesight is also getting worse--expected to become legally blind by the time he’s forty.
more on those l8r
personality
there’s a lot of words you can use to describe amos! pretentious, sarcastic, provoking, hardly ever serious, immature, petty, Just Like That, full of himself, smartass, big dumbass energy. y’know. just an infinite amount.
he can be so dramatic! everything he does is exaggerated. he rolls cigar-sized joints at every party. goes around with a horrible ‘20s mobster voice, voicing his lil’ conspiracies.
it’s both hard and very easy to forget that amos graduated as valedictorian of his high school (stealing it, from somebody else--i should mention, as he came in halfway thru the year and kinda just. snatched the title.) because he can be a real idiot sometimes.
because he tries to hard to mask his insecurities, he overcompensates with just. being childish. he’s fun to be around but sometimes he can just be. exhausting.
so like, he went into computer engineering because that was just sorta what he always wanted to do? besides programming? he really wanted to take after his father--but with him being in jail and whatnot, kinda puts a damper to that dream. still, he can’t stop.
so he’s just. really good with computers tbh?? built his own, programmed his own firewall. his dream is to open his own cybersecurity company.
VERY STRESSED LIKE CONSTANTLY like catch him in the library with six empty coffee cups surrounding his work, it’s 2am--he hasn’t slept, in fact his eyes are likely taped opened. he works a lot.
but parties...a lot more! he tries rly hard to not mix his medication with anything so that leads to him...not always taking it, or overcompensating when he misses. it’s a mess. he’s a mess. he thinks he knows what he’s doing but he’s NOT.
i think...i’d consider him lovable. he’s a lil eccentric, a lil high energy.
LOVES HIS FAMILY. like, listen. he still loves his dad. would protect his cousins and sister and mother with his mf life.
alya and him aren’t on the...best terms rn. so that Hurts.
he can be really petty tbh ?? like he can’t take arguments seriously so he just becomes this fucking manchild. he will mimic u. he’ll mock u. he can be hurtful.
god...i don’t even know what else to say. just take him TAKE HIM
wanted connections
as always, i am a big slut for every connection.
give him his Lads. his buds. his pals. his broskis. his bromances.
ride or die(s)
people he tutors !! people whose work he does for them !!
somebody who goes to him b/c of computer troubles n he’s just like...r u going to pay me or nah
high school friends??
party pals??
his sister may become a WC in the future but idk quite yet, we do stan her though !!
drug dealer pls n thank
ex friends ?? fake friends ?? toxic friends ??
bad influences ?? good influences ??
hook ups ?? like a lot of ‘em ??
confidante ?? just somebody he can. rant to.
academic rival just b/c i really love intense study-offs
enemies for whatever reason ??
exes ??
particularly this one ex he was really, really in love w/ but life just got really stressful and idk it affected their relationship and they sorta just. ended it. idk who ended it w/ who but it probably wasn’t mutual and he’s probably really still hung up about it. 
i mean i’ll take...anything...did they run into each other once and now just see each other everywhere??
unrequited things??
really cute close friendships??
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Rambling and ranting, or whatever.
So I had some really bad times while I was in the Army- not because of the Army itself, just while I happened to be there (there were some bad times BECAUSE of the Army too, don't get me wrong, but that was mostly the fault of a very few stupid entitled gross men who bordered on sexual predators. The Army itself was mostly very good to me, personally, tho)- and... well, right before I left I found out a couple diagnoses that their therapists had given me without me previously knowing.
One was an adjustment disorder, which I thought was really stupid. Granted, I thought most/all/both/whatever of them were. Still do, sometimes- especially because we all always joked about how crappy military doctors are (seriously tho, who fucking puts on paper what they think is wrong with somebody without telling them?!?? Like, rude god damn awakening when I got my medical records at the end.) But, anyways... I didn't agree.
Sure, I could admit I sometimes didn't handle change as well as possible, but who really does? It's human nature for people to want some freaken consistency in their lives. And, sure, maybe I have some self destructive tendencies (more of a symptom of the Borderline thing that they said was also wrong with me, tho)- and, yeah, I GUESS there were SOME(/many) days I felt like I was actually losing my damn mind, but they JUST SO HAPPENED to coincide with the periods right after I moved duty stations each time (crying at work, hurting myself in various ways and forms, sleeping with people I didn't necessarily actually want to sleep with just so I could feel bad after, holy *extreme* isolation, drinking until I ended up laying on my kitchen floor, afraid I was gonna float away, or off myself for real this/that time, etc.), but they weren't related, right? No way. Absolutely not. Obviously. So, a REAL diagnosis?
I'm still a little mad about it, because I found out alone and so had to process it alone... which, really, that's not new or anything- both from abandonment crap and from learning to do it to myself (I guess that's just abandonment crap tho- people can't leave you if you push them all away or prevent them from getting close in the first place, L-OH-FUCKING-L)(it only counts if I do it by myself, on my own!). So that wasn't really the issue, but it did mean I couldn't argue that I wasn't crazy, even though I probably am- either way, never bought it. Not really. I'm not that bad, right? There are totally crazier people, and they get along just fine. I handle everything pretty ok. I go to work and get shit done. If I was actually totally nuts I wouldn't be able to do that, right? Most people can't even tell, so it isn't that bad! That's what I told myself.
Anyways... I've been out of the Army for a bit now. Two months and some extra days. That's a REALLY major life change, right? I thought it was going pretty well for a while too, to be honest. I drove across the whole country on my own, moved into a new apartment, handled my first real car crisis, built a bed, started eating healthier and drinking more water/less alcohol, registered for school, applied to some jobs...but it's not going well at all.
Nothing feels right. I don't feel ok. I keep smiling and pretending. I say I'm so excited for all of the opportunities I have available to me now- but I want to rip off my skin and tare out my bones and pull out all of my stupid teeth BEcaUsE ThEY DoN'T FrigGIn FIT. I'm so uncomfortable. I hate everything, but not as much as I hate myself. It all feels so bad.
My morals never really aligned with the Army, and maybe I never deserved to be in- there are certain ways I feel that somebody in that sort of organization shouldn't... it could make me dangerous, you know? Technically, anyway. I'm not a typical borderline- part of why I didn't buy that diagnosis at first. I don't split on others often and I internalize almost all of my rage, I usually only want to wreck myself. I would die for almost anybody else- I would never hurt "the mission" besides hurting myself (which I CAN logically understand how that hurts the mission- but I never did things that could affect my ability to do my actual job), but I would do anything for the people I call my friends (some of the people in the Army who I worked with I would have even called my family- I'm loyal to a fault and they were obligated to care about my well being, so I sometimes convinced myself it was genuine, even if they probably didn't really, and I thought I loved them). Really that makes me an asset, right? They should wish more people are as dumb as me. Willing to die for the cause, and all that- who has that sort of blind devotion? But that isn't mentally healthy, or whatever- you're SUPPOSED to have some sort of sense of self preservation. It's a stupid idiot way to be at least, that's for sure.
They didn't make me get out. No matter what they thought/said was wrong with me- they never said I was unfit for duty. The one therapist suggested it- back when... well, you don't rip your own skin open and get to be ok- but I left there before anything could officially be done, and since that problem stopped being a problem that anyone knew, everyone after said it was ok, so... it's not even entirely a bad thing, with the whole war profiteering issues, and what not... the government... god, our government... I can't even get into it, but, no matter what I felt about all of that tho... I still thrived in the structure.
A lot of times I hated that I enjoyed it so much. I'm a fairly aware person, so sometimes I'm upset that I supported what I did, sometimes I got upset WHILE I was supporting what I did, but... I didn't have a lot of structure growing up. I always craved it, and I don't know how to provide it for myself, even when I try. I liked the rules. I liked a lot of it, to be honest. I liked having a uniform, being apart of something, being held accountable by authority figures, being in the suck with other people, and the competativeness- I even liked waking up early and pissing everyone off because I was too cheerful. Plus the benefits (I don't know how to get health insurance yet, lol). It was simple and straight forward, very little area for grey. Even with the sort of imperialism thing, and all of the conservatives, and stupid macho boys... everything is so messy. Nothing is fair.
I still lost it occasionally, true. But it wasn't BECAUSE of the Army. Being in the Army actually kept me mostly in line. There were rules and standards, and I had to be a certain way to keep being a productive member of that world, and I wanted nothing more than to contribute to something. I could tell myself people relied on me. Now it's gone. It's all gone and I'm lost and confused and so SO angry. Not just about that, but everything feels like it's all boiling over, or that I'm burning alive and drowning at the same time.
I didn't fit there, not really, but sometimes I could pretend. I at least could keep busy enough that I forgot how separate I always feel. I don't fit out here either tho, and there is no pretending left, and I'm not busy at all. School doesn't even start for another month, and when it does... it didn't go well the first time I was in college, so idk how this is really going to turn out... but, anyway- there are no lines and no box to put myself in, in the real world. Nobody has to even pretend to care.
I feel like I'm spilling all over, like there are holes all over me and I'm leaking. I just want to go back or to dig into my skin again until my fingers are covered with blood and it hurts to move, but everytime I do it'll remind me I'm here and this is real. I want to scream. I want to beg and cry for somebody to please save me or to choke me, to do SOMETHING I can feel. My head hurts all of the time and I can't stop clenching my teeth. I want to take a thousand pills and never have to wake up again. I want to lash out and hurt the few people who are left around me, because they don't get it- and that isn't fair because I don't get it either and it isn't their fault. I don't want to exist like this, because I am barely existing at all. I just feel threadbare and tired.
I'm losing it, and I'm falling hard and fast. I can see it happening all around me, all the symptoms I've learned to look out for, for when things are starting to get bed again- but I don't have the energy to stop it this time, and that's almost more frustrating than the rest of it. So I just keep quiet and keep smiling, because getting out was my CHOICE and it was supposed to be a good thing- and, maybe if I ignore it, it'll all go away and be ok.
People expect me to make something of myself now. I'm supposedly better than the Army, my bosses even said so- when I started to second guess my decision to get out at the end, they assured me I would be fine and said I could do more, that the Army didn't deserve me- but it was because I worked long hours without having to be asked, I volunteered to do anything, any day, because I couldn't/can't stand to be left alone to my own devices, and now all I have left are my own devices, and I can't. I just can't. I'm not smart. I just rely on external validation, so I did everything in my power to get that from them- but they're gone and I'm alone, and I can't go back. I don't deserve to go back, no matter how much I want to, and I shouldn't even want to, but I miss them. I miss the structure. I miss being able to pretend I belonged, even if I never really did. I need something to hold me together, and there just isn't anything left. I miss my old best friend who I destroyed everything with, because she always held me together, but that was never supposed to be her job, it wasn't fair that I ever asked her to do that, I'm supposed to do that for myself, and now she's gone, and I still miss her so much. It's been so long, and I shouldn't miss her, we weren't even good for each other, but I do. I do so much, and I still love her and would give anything to have her back. She was my favorite person, no matter how many times she hurt me, but her life is better without me in it, and everything is crap. Everything is terrible and I'm going to fall apart. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I want to go home, and I have no home to go to.
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zealoptics · 6 years
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Journey South: A Loco Chile Adventure
Words by Summer Fenton
Images by Summer Fenton and @vivachile
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“Traveling isn't always as easy or glamorous as it sounds or looks. Sometimes it’s challenging, and you're put in situations that break your cool. But it’s all good because that’s part of the thrilling adventure, unforgettable memories and experience of the journey.” 
As I took my last steps on American soil to board my flight to the southern hemisphere, I couldn't help but feel the traveling jitters as I embarked my first journey to Chile. I finally got the opportunity to check it off my bucket list of places to snowboard. The terrain looked like a snowboarder’s dream- so many endless opportunities. Without the World Cup event happening in New Zealand this year, I realized this was the perfect moment to ride and explore a different country. But don’t worry New Zealand; I will be back in a heartbeat. A lot of people asked me “where are you snowboarding in Chile? or “what are your plans down there?” And honestly, I had NO idea. I knew two things: I’d be filming with Powanoia members Fancy and Christine for the last bit of our movie project (coming this October) and that we would be cat boarding at Ski Arpa with Steep-N-Deep Tours  the day after I arrived. We were on a mission to chase the snow and let it flow; little did we know that we were about to hop on a crazy ride with lots of bumps along the way.
It all started to feel surreal as I packed my backpack for the upcoming day with avalanche gear and snowboarding essentials. I felt so lucky to be cat boarding at Ski Arpa, a private mountain in the shadows of Aconcagua Mountain (highest mountain in the Americas) on my first day back on the board. Our friend, Ian, told us that our fifteen-passenger van would be the biggest vehicle to ever drive up the Ski Arpa road. I didn't realize how serious he was until I saw the extremely narrow dirt road leading up to the mountain. There were no guard rails and barely enough room to make the switchback turns with this massive van. With each turn it was a huge drop off. Our van struggled to make it up this road and at some points we didn't have enough momentum to go up anymore, so we would have to roll back down the road in hopes of getting enough momentum to make the turn. The smell of the clutch burned my nose, and I squeezed my crystals for protection. Every time we rolled back it felt like we wouldn't brake in time and just slide off the road and tumble down.I kept my eyes closed for the majority of the ride until someone said, “we made it!” I was so relieved that I didn't die on my second day in Chile.  Instead, I got to ride a private mountain with open, long runs with five of my friends and the luxury of getting cat rides up to the top. The bumpy, nerve-wrecking drive was SO worth it!
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Photo: @vivachile || From left to right, Monica, Christine, Fancy & Summer (Me) 
A snowstorm closed down the roads to Portillo (mountain resort) so we decided that our next best move was to get that fresh powder. From opening to closing, it was a blue bird, powder day where we found fun wind lips and scored a lake run just as the ropes dropped. As I was on the narrow traverse next to the lake, I couldn't help but feel so grateful for this moment and this view.  
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Photo: @vivachile || Rider: Summer (Me) enjoying Portillo
But it was time get moving to pick up our filmer Keith who had just flown in and picked up the rental car for us. It would finally be time to start filming for Powanoia! Within ten minutes of meeting up with Keith, putting our bags in the car, getting stoked to film for the movie and going inside the gas station to use the free Wi-Fi to book an Airbnb for the night, the security guard at the gas station tapped on our shoulders. We had no idea what he was saying because none of us spoke Spanish. After some hand motions and following him out the door, we saw the tragedy. Our rental car windows were smashed in and Keith and Fancy got $10,000 worth of belongings stolen. Frickity frick!! This is not how I pictured the trip going.
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After a couple days of helping our friends with police reports, translation issues, insurance calls, and embassy runs, I was itching to ride. It was hard explaining such a devastating situation to my family back home when I really wanted to tell them about our rides & adventures. My expectations for the trip were to ride & film but we were running back & forth between the airport terminal, hotel, and embassy. In hindsight, I realize that it was most important to put my expectations aside temporarily to be there for Fancy & Keith even though there wasn't much Christine and I could do to help Fancy and Keith with their stolen goods.
We were handed a pretty challenging situation, and I knew the only way to make this situation better was to get back on my board and ride it out. Christine and I headed to La Parva, about 45 minutes outside of Santiago with our amigo Pedro, while Fancy and Keith went to the black market in search of their stolen belongings (they were able to recover half of what they’d gotten stolen!). When we got to La Parva there was still snow left over from the last storm. We decided that we should hike up and ride a steep chute called La Chiminea. I’ve never ridden a chute before, so I was up for the challenge. As the adrenaline pumped through my veins, I felt readier than ever to drop. The entry to the chute was a sketchy drop off where you had to hold onto a ski pole to get down to the starting platform. Once you got on the platform, there is no turning back – only moving forward. It was a steep, icy ride, but I was all smiles at the end of the chute. It was so rewarding after being cooped up inside the previous couple of days. La Parva gave me hope and reminded me to live in the moment. I accepted the situation I was in and what I couldn't control. Nothing was going to ruin the trip.
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Photos: @vivachile ||Top: Summer (me) slashing the wave. Bottom: La Chiminea  
When we got back from La Parva, Fancy and Keith said that they would be heading out on the next flight to the U.S.. I was bummed to hear my friends were leaving, but I understood that they wanted to get home. Christine and I thought hard about if we should stay or go since we weren't going to film like we had hoped.
After weighing our options, we figured we were already there, so we shouldn’t give up on beautiful Chile and just make the best of our remaining days. We came to Chile for one reason and that was to snowboard so the Chilean adventure must go on! We spontaneously took a 10hr overnight bus south to the lovely town of Pucon, and there just so happened to be a storm hitting Villarrica (active volcano). When we got off the bus at 7am, we dragged our board bags down the road to the cutest hostel called Chili Kiwi. The smell of the overnight bus on our clothes, our sweat covered bodies and sore hands from carrying our heavy board bags probably gave the impression we were transients, but we didn’t care – we just wanted to explore and ride Villarrica. 
We quickly threw our belongings into our hobbit hole room and walked 10 minutes up the road to start hitch hiking up to the volcano which was pretty exciting because Christine and I had never hitched hiked before. We stuck out our thumbs and waited but no one was picking us up. Finally, this lady in a tiny car stopped for us. She didn't speak English, and we didn't speak Spanish but we tried our best to communicate with her. We assumed she was going to take us up to Villarrica because we had our boards but instead she dropped us off on the side of the dirt road very far from the mountain resort. We looked around and everything around us was closed and there was no one to be seen. We saw a sign that told us it would take us about an hour to walk through the lava fields and dirt road. We were about to start walking down the hill when these three old men gave us the peace sign, picked us up and brought us to the mountain. They didn't speak English either, but we were somehow all still laughing and smiling the whole drive up. It might have been because Christine and I had the biggest old dude, with his massive fur coat, sit in between us. 
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Summer (Me) trying out this hitch-hiking thing
When we got to the resort, it was extremely flat light, snowy and we couldn't see the top of the volcano. We were one of the five cars in the parking lot, but we just laughed it off. At least now we know how to get to the mountain. We decided to get a ride back down with our three new amigos, since we weren't sure who else would be able to bring us down. We realized that hitch hiking is great but maybe not the most convenient for us, especially when there’s a language barrier. 
After our long travel day, I was able to get in contact with Pucon locals, Tomas and Pato, over social media so that Christine and I would have a better plan for the next day. In the morning, Tomas picked us up from our hostel to bring us to the volcano, so we could ride the powder we weren't able to see the day before. Pato hooked us up with lift tickets for our time in Pucon – Thank you Pato for your generosity! When we got to the bottom of the volcano to pick up our lift tickets, we realized we only got one. Our friend Tomas said, “two for one.” We were a little skeptical but went along with it. Every time we would have to show our lift ticket to the lift operator, we would shrug and say “dos por uno.” The lift operators were confused just like we were, but it worked! We linked up with Pato later on in the day, and he showed us all the fun, natural terrain Pucon had to offer, like gullies and wind lips. With it just being Christine and I, the natural terrain made it easier for us to build a quick feature.Our time in Pucon was pure bliss; starting from the kind people to the great snowboarding terrain. I wish I had more time to stay in this small lake town overlooking the snowcapped Villarrica volcano, but it was time to head home and get back to work.
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Chile was quite the adventure from almost missing every overnight bus (there are too many terminals), lugging board bags on the overcrowded subway, getting electrocuted by my adapter twice (taking the power out of half of the hostel), to Christine breaking seven, full wine bottles and getting our car broken into. Speaking Spanish would have been helpful, but hey, at least I got to ride, get creative with the natural terrain that the volcanoes and mountains had to offer, and I could order empanadas and menu del dias. It might have not been the trip I initially had in mind but shit happens and plans change. You have to make the best of the situations that you can’t control and give the universe permission to fill the empty space with magical opportunities and experiences. There were a lot of lessons learned along the way, and I felt that I really grew as a traveler from this trip. Till next time Chile! Chao!
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Click to check out the recap video!
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I've seen some on TV and for the life of me, I can't remember all of what's out there. So far, there is no life insurance on my husband's mother and he and I are wanting to take out life insurance on her. What kind of life insurance is out there for ppl 70 years and up that does not require a medical background? She has a bad hip, smokes like a turned over train, and she hasn't had a physical in aprox. 15-20 years. And she has no assets of any kind to help with expenses if she should pass unexpectantly. This is why my husband and I feel that it is important that we take out Life Insurance on her. Thank you for your help. :-)""
Why do we NEED car insurance?!?
Why is it the LAW that we have car insurance?? I honestly think it's stupid. Shouldn't we, as free Americans, be able to make the choice of whether or not we want insurance, and still legally drive a vehicle, as long as we have a license, at our own risk? Kind of like if you go skiing or snowboarding, you go at your own risk, you're not forced to get skiing insurance , or boarding insurance , or anything like that. I mean, think of this situation: I have no insurance, and I wreck into somebody. They have insurance, so they are covered. I don't, so I will either have to get rid of my car, or pay for repairs myself; that's the risk I took and this is how I'm paying for it, by being car less or spending tons of money on repairs. But why must we be forced by law to have it, or NO DRIVING FOR YOU says big ole' government?? This is angering me because I'm currently in college, without a car, and while I can walk to my work and school, it's still about 30-45 minutes each way to walk, and if I could get an old car for cheap, it would make my life MUCH easier and less of a hassle.""
Cheap car insurance for a young driver...
is there any insurance company who can give me a good deal on my car insurance? (i am hoping to get insured on my mums grande punto) I am getting ridiculous quotes all the time just because I'm an 20 year old male, and being from liverpool probably doesnt help matters either haha. Thanks in advance""
Parents wont let me drive because im not on car insurance?!?
'm 17 now, and I'm planning on getting my license sometime this month. I was really planning on driving to school everyday after I recieved my license. But my parents flat out said NO, because I'm not covered by insurance. They say its way too expensive, and that I'm going off to college anyway next year (i dont plan on driving while im there). I'm really sick of taking the school bus! I just wanna drive to school. but insurance for teens is mad expensive. are there ways to lower the cost? and about average, how much is it anyway? i get good grades. all A's and very rarely B's. and i've taken drivers ed before too. anything else that would help? just any tips on how i can convince my parents to get my car insurance??!""
Can you stay on your parents' health insurance?
If you are under 26 and get a job that offers health and dental insurance, can you legally stay on your parents' health plan? Refusing does not jepordize that, correct?""
How long does it take for insurance rates to go up after getting speeding ticket?
how long does it take for your insurance rates to get affected if you get a speeding ticket.. does it apply right away or do i have time to go to traffic school.. and if i go to traffic school will all evidence of there ever been a ticket disappear?
Help! Affordable health insurance for healthy 2yr old in Florida?
Do you know of any good insurance? We're looking for one and it's confusing.
Insurance rates for 17 yr olds?
Since insurance rates are ridiculously high for new drivers like me, I was thinking that if my parents could possibly buy a car for me to drive but put it under their name, and have it insured under their name so its cheaper since they're much older and have a lower insurance rate than I would. But I heard someone said that somehow insurance companies find this out and somehow find a way around this so the tactic i just suggested won't work. Anybody have any experience with this?""
Cheapest car insurance company for my situation?
What company can provide me with the cheapest insurance? I am -19 years old -a student who is taking a semester off -female -hispanic -broke as hell My car is a white 1995 Geo Metro manual with a new lcutch and a bunch of brand new repairs on it.
Does anyone how much full coverage insurance is for a hybrid car?
Does anyone how much full coverage insurance is for a hybrid car?
What are your rights if a person's car hits you and they don't have auto insurance?
This was a non-reportable vehicle accident. The person's car who hit mine was a manual and somehow came down the hill and hit my car. No one was in that person's car. But it rolled down and hit my car. I went to a dealer to get an estimate and it was about $955. I have car insurance, but the other guy doesn't. I have full coverage, but my deductible is $1000. What are my options? The owner of that car who hit me said that he is a mechanic and can fix my car. What should I do? Should I allow him or should I ask for his certification/license? I don't know if I can trust them either. I would rather have someone else fix it. Or should I just ask him to pay for the accident since he doesn't have car insurance? Is there a way where I don't have to pay anything? Any information what so ever will help out so much. Please give as much feed back as possible. I'm really looking for some possible answers.""
California Medical for teens?
I am 19 & i have no insurance at all and i was wondering if theres a way to get on the Medi-caid or medi-cal that the state offers to usually younge kids or pregnant women? can someone give me info?
Asking all female drivers under 25- Whats a cheap car insurer?
Asking all female drivers under 25!! Does anyone know of or have been with any cheap car insurance companies? Ive already checked quite a few but they seem really expensive...Please help!
Whats the insurance for a drink drive offence (uk only)?
My partner stupidly got in his car drunk a few years ago , he bought it while on a provisional license,and had it insured,he got a 20 month ban and a fine. He now has to pay something like 200 for a medical. I personaly think hes foolish thinking he can get back on the road as the insurance would be through the roof! he thinks it wont be,that he'l get cheap insurance somewhere.. What do yous think? I think hes way wrong. No negative feedback please, I dont condone drink drivers in any way ,took me a long time to forgive him.""
Car insurance in New Zealand?
Im thinking of moving to New Zealand. I would want a car at some point and don't know how much car insurence would cost. Im 19 been driving for a year and a half. No accidents, convictions etc?""
Will my auto insurance premium go up for passing a red light in NY?
This is my first moving violation, it originally was failure to stop for a school bus but it got reduced to passing a red light and is now only 3 points. I have a clean record otherwise and my auto insurance is under my mothers name, I am just a secondary driver under her quote. Will my insurance premium go up and if so will it be much? Is there anything that I can do to lower it if it does go up?""
Auto Insurance broker failed to add driver and now claim has been denied Help pleassssse?
So I called the owner of the broker company who told me that he would gladly backdate the policy upon the notion that AIG would accept it and they said that they would. Then the owner called me back stating that his broker that issued the policy already gave a recorded statement to the insurance company stating that he did not remember us requesting the added driver to the policy so he cant help us or he would lose his license as a broker by recanting on a recorded statement so he then told me to make the adjuster take the recorded statement off the record and they will do it but it is illegal to even ask them to do that. Our Policy has canceled several other times due to this broker not turning in the proper paper work to AIG. I need help I have went through all the chain of comands and the california insurance board what is left??
Higher insurance premiums for celebrities ?
Is is usual? http://www.insurance-assurance.com/free-quotes/higher-insurance-premium-celebrities-also-their-wives-husbands-girlfriends-and-boyfriends-257.html
Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?
If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch?    Why or why not?
Insurance for a non-running vehicles Title Transfer?
Do I need insurance for a title transfer on a private party vehicle that is not running and wont be for a while in the state of florida? Also what is the process for doing so? Thank you, Tyler""
What type of insurance is better: private healthcare insurance or union insurance?
I used to have Kaiser Permanente but now I'm on a union healthcare plan because my mom works at a grocery store. I used to always be able to see a therapist a few times a month no problem when I had Kaiser, but with the union insurance I tried to go and after a few months it sucked up all the money in our insurance and we couldn't go to see any more doctors until the next year. Should I switch back to Kaiser? I'm mostly concerned with being able to see a therapist a few times a month, maybe a dermatologist a few times a year(currently I'm being treated for my acne), and being able to get contacts and a yearly eye exam(which I can do with my current insurance) and also being able to see a good dentist biannually(I can also do this with my current insurance) So pretty much all I'm missing is the mental health care I want! Would Kaiser be able to provide me all of this? Thanks in advance for any helpful input""
Someone who knows California car insurance?
So my parents are out of town for the weekend and my aunt is watching us. My brother has his permit and he was driving my aunt & I around. My aunt was in the passenger seat. So my mom called saying that my brother can't drive until she gets back because he is not under her insurance. Is this true ? Or is she just saying that ?
3.0 GPA car insurance discount?
I applied for the discount during high school, back then my gpa was 4.2 so it was more than fine. Now I fked up my college life and only have a 2.9, so would they require me to submit the GPA again? or if I continued using their car insurance, they won't ask?""
How much will my first car and the insurance come to roughly?
i can start driving lessons in January. How much, on average, would my first car cost? and how much on average would the insurance be? Also.. What would you advise for a girls first car? :) Leave your answers below please, Thanks!xx""
Do classic/muscle cars cost more to insure?
Im 16 years old with my driving permit going to be g2 in a few months (can drive alone with g2) Im looking to get a classic or muscle car so cars such as late 60's camaro or mustangs to something later such as late 80's monte carlos the car will likely be a project (im up for a small to medium restoration) so id try to get antique insurance? my cousin has antique insurance on his '81 camaro thats almost mint and its been appraised and everything and he can drive it on weekends and theres a set km's that he can drive according to his insurance im fully able to do a restoration as ive worked in an auto shop and I know a bunch of parts suppliers & garages (including one of my cousins) basically ive got the place, the tools, the know-how (im an auto student) and a parts suppliers anyways what I want to do is have it on my dads insurance, his record has been clean since started driving which around 30 years do insurance companies charge more for say cars that have options such as SS or other things that make is look sporty or make the car faster (bigger & better engine) say car with a 267 chevy v8 would be less insurance than one with a 350 v8? is it cheaper to say my dads the primary driver while I drive it? do older cars generally have cheaper insurance? is there such a thing as project car insurance? (do I even have to have insurance on a project if im not driving it say for a month?) im just so confused with all the insurance talk like premiums and deductibles etc etc.""
Do you think $250/person premium for supplemental insurance for seniors too high?
If so, could you recommend a cheaper one that you may have?""
Want to buy a used 2003 G35 but would like to know the Maintenance fee and a estimate insurance price in nyc?
ok I'm a 19 year(soon to be 20) old black college student who lives in Brooklyn, NY and would like to know how much it would cost me to maintain an insure a 2003 used G35 with about 40k- 80k miles? I've been driving for lets say a year now and live in a urban area, which i will be commuting back and forth to work, school and home.""
Are local insurance companies better than global ones?
I moved to salt lake city not long ago and I m looking to insure my motorcycle for the summer but so far every websites I tried online have prices and monthly rates that are very expansive !! Does anyone know if it is best to get insured with a local insurance company or a big one like progressive ???
Is it covered under insurance?
i want to change my old cavities to the white cavities to match my teeth. i hate to open my mouth in front of people because i have so many cavities. the thing is, is it covered under insurance and is it expensive?""
Cheap car to insure for a 17 year old?
Im 16 about to turn 17 and am looking at cars to insure but they are all too expensive to insure. Can anyone suggest a cheap car to insure and a cheap car insurer
What is the cheapest uk motorcycle insurance company?
... am 19 in 1 hour xD and i wanna start riding legally i got the other parts done i just need cheap insurance recommendations, tell me please uk only""
Does california law require insurance on motorcycles?
I know the law requires proof in financial liability in the case of accident or injury, and always requires insurance for cars, does it require ins. for motorcycles?""
Medical insurance bill?
hi guys my hubby had a motorcycle accident and he went to the ER, he got a cat scan and x-ray and it came out to be $750. he has no health insurance so he gave them hes name but misspelled like 2 letters in hes first name and 2 letters in hes last name.. they never took down hes drivers licence or ask for hes social number... only thing they have on file correct is hes birthday. even the address is all right but the apt number instead of 7 he put 8, we wanted to know can they actually send him to collection still? like will they be able to still find him even though they don't have drivers licence number or social? and if they can find him will it affect hes credit score if he can't pay.. we are students and are struggling real bad :( so any help from you guys we would really appreciate it we live in California. thanks guys!""
""Auto Insurance, Please Help!?""
What are good coverage amounts for Bodily Injury, Property Damage, Medical Payments, Uninsured Motorist and Under-insured Motorist for auto insurance? I just want to make sure i have enough coverage for my insurance.""
Both me and my sister are new drivers. Would it be cheaper to get joint or separate car insurance policies?
We are planning to buy a car together and are looking to reduce insurance costs. Also, since i have already passed my driving test and she is yet to do so, would i get charged more for getting a single policy and then adding her onto it later when she finally passes. Or would this final sum amount to the same?""
How much is a car and insurance going to cost me when I turn 17?
I've got a few hundred pounds at the moment as I will turn seventeen in two months. I really want to start driving as soon as possible, but I'm clueless to how much it was cost me a year and what are good first cheap cars.. Also if anyone knows some good cheap car sites it would help, thanks :)""
Where can i get cheap car insurance?
I keep trying to find a cheap car insurance as a new driver but the cheapest I get is bloody 3000 pounds .
How can i know how many people have health insurance coverage in my city?
(please give me a source as in to where i can find this information)
Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?
Which auto insurance is cheapest in new orleans?
Whole life insurance and medicaid eligibility?
My father in Dallas Texas has a life insurnace face value of 10,000 and cash value, about 3500. Per medicaid rule he can't have the life insurance with those cash value. He is not on medicaid yet but with his condition of alzheimer, he soon needs to apply for medicaid. Any idea what needs to be done for the life insurance?...I am not sure if he can simply cancel the insurance to meet the medicaid requirement. He has no other asset and has less than 2000 in his bank account. Of course he does not work. ( he can't with his condition and he's over 70).""
Best and cheapest car insurance?
im 39 yrs old and got a new civic hybrid 2010 and my husband car is a 2001 BmW330
Mother has Mental Illness but no Insurance?
We are at the moment living in california but my mother has mental illness when we were back in The Netherlands she was given pills to take to supress that voice in her heads making her go crazy, but now we are here and we don't have any insurance yet is it possible that she gets insurance if she supports her illness?""
My daughter was in a multi vehicle car accident and i cant seem to find an estimate for car insurance?
It was a 2001 hyundai elantra. My insurance was 9 star. My daughter just turned 21 and wasen't given permission to drive the car.
Car insurance vs the law?
If I was driving at 100 mph in my car and a police officer caught me on radar and i started to pull over and then lost control and flipped and totaled the car would my insurance still cover it? I have the fullest of full coverage also, if I was still making payments and the car got impounded would the car be repossessed FROM the cops? thanks""
Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?
If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch?    Why or why not?
I want a baby but don't have insurance?
My husband and I just got a new apartment and then got married courthouse style. We have both decided that we want a baby soon but right now we don't have insurance. Is there any cheap option that would cover the entire pregnancy?
Rental car insurance?
Do I have to get rental car insurance in va from hertZ
Does car insurance really go down when you get married?
I have heard that insurance goes down once you get married. Is this true? If it is, how much? Is it significan't? Do you have to be married before you turn 25 for this to apply? I have heard so many conflicting answers. Help??..""
Cheap car/insurance for a young lad?
18 year old son has just passed his test. Looked at a Fiat siacento(I know thats wrong but you know what car I mean)1999/1100cc/65000miles/good nick/500,I thought bargain. Until I checked the insurance.... 3000!!! Before I start ranting about the cost of insuring a young lad(and the cost of my own insurance) can anyone tell me a cheap car that is also cheap to insure. Thanks.""
""I'm just wondering, is there anyone here who can't get health insurance?""
If you do have it, how do you get it? and if you don't have it, why not? Spiritually speaking, of course""
How much is car insurance for a jeep wrangler?
i am 18 and have a clean driving record
Dual Car Insurance trouble?
I had insurance through a company called Sunset Plaza Insurance, and only agreed to do a 6 month period (from 12/08 to 06/09). I moved during the time, and never received a renewal notice at my new address, even after I gave them my new address. However, I found out that for the past 6 months (06/09 - 12/09) they have been charging me for insurance. But I never signed a renewal consent or anything! I remember explicitly saying that I only wanted the insurance for a 6 month period too! What are my options? Please..any advice would help!""
Car insurance go up if not your fault?
If somebody hits you from behind, and it's completely their fault, you file claim for insurance, does the non-fault person's insurance go up?""
What type of car insurance should I get in Michigan?
I understand that Michigan is a no-fault state, and as a result everyone gets this PLPD insurance or something. I'm moving from Pennsylvania and had full coverage on my car for about $90/month. I thought PA and MI were both no-fault, but it seems different and the rates I'm being quoted for the same insurance in MI are higher. I'm so confused!! Also, right now I am on State Farm. I'm 25 but on my mom's plan, and I am getting married/changing my last name and I now live in Michigan so it is past time for me to pay for my own insurance.""
Sex change versus Car Insurance?
if man changes to a woman would this affect his/her car insurance, would his insurance be cheaper or dearer?""
Can my health insurance cover it?
My dad went to the dr for a check up and found out that he has slight high blood pressure, so he wants to buy a blood pressure machine so he can monitor it while he tries to bring it down so we have health insurance and was wondering if health insurance would pay for the machine if we bought one""
""Medi-cal, California insurance?""
I'm getting a procedure done covered by medi-cal. I'm married, unemployed, and at the time of the service i need to bring i.d. and proof of income to be eligible.. Well i would have to use my husband's proof of income, his check stub. Can i just present them the proof of income myself, even tho it's my husband's? Or does he have to be present at the time? I'm not sure, because i think he needs to work that day..""
My car under my parents insurance?
Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?""
Pls help me to find a cheap insurance in CAli?
Ive a dodge stratus that i bought in a rebate the title saids SALVAGE and I would like to quote something cheap with covarage to into tijuana or ensenada!! pls HELP!
350z insurance how much would it cost?
how much would it cost in Canada Ontario the car is a 350z coupe 90k Miles 2005 my age is 18
Can anybody Reccomend a good online insurance company for a Cagiva Mito 125?
I have been looking around for a low insurance rate for my Cagiva Mito 125 Motorbike, does any Mito owners know of a good insurer for that bike and how much did you pay?""
How much would my insurance be?
i will be 17 in oct and hoping to save up for a car (corsa, punto, 206) and i was just wondering how much my insurance would be?""
What would my insurance be for a kia forte koup 2010?
i'm an 18 years old male about to 19 in a few months,i live in New york and i'm really considering this kia,but i need someone to help me out on what my insurance would cost without having to go through all these insurance quote process,thanks""
How much would insurance be on a mistibishi lancer GT on my moms insurance? (16 yrs. old)?
We are thinking about purchasing a mistibishi but we fear the insurance would skyrocket as me being a new driver. Any help?
""Boyfriend totaled my car, i have a $500 collision deductable on my insurance?""
my boyfriend totalled my 17,000 car. the car was totally paid off and i have $500 deductable for collisions on my insurance,. he has liability on his insurance. does anyone knnow what will happen from here, since he was driving i dont know for sure what insurance covers and what i will have to pay""
Speeding tickets and Insurance rates (read details)?
I received one speeding ticket back in February 2010, I took a driving class for it so I would not receive points on my license and consequently my insurance provider would not be able to raise my rate. However, I've received two speeding tickets in the past week (both only 9 miles over the speed limit) :'( which would result in 6 points on my license. I live in Florida, and I have State Farm insurance. Does anyone have any idea at all what will/could happen to my insurance? :(""
What is the average car insurance rate for a 16 year old female in Arizona with standard coverage?
what would be the approximate monthly charge?
How can I get auto insurance in my name when the car is registered in someone else's name?
My mom currently has a loan on my car in her name in California. My car is registered in California, but because my husband is active duty military, we relocated to South Carolina. Is there a way I can obtain insurance in my name without being a registered owner?""
How do you find car insurance?
Ok heres the situatuion, Am 22 I dont drive yet and i dont have a clue what car i want! Am hoping to pass my test this summer and am willing to spend roughly 750-2000 on a car but i dont want to pay anymore then 500 a year on car insurance. The most irritating thing about this thing is the fact i dont know how i can get a rough quote without having to fill out loads of details etc. Is there any easy way of finding your first car? Am losing my patience really annoyed by the whole process. HELP ME!""
When will my motorcycle insurance lower?
i live in florida im going to start riding soon probly start out on a ninja 650r but i wana move up 2 a zx14 after a while(my dream bike) but the insurance is nuts on it like 800 a month now on the 14 the 650 is like 120 with amazing insurance and 250 deductables when will my insurance drop? does it go by age or experience?
Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?
If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch?    Why or why not?
What are some names of some cheap 3rd party Auto Insurance companies in Texas?
Tittle say it all, best answer 5 stars""
What is the best health insurence to meet my needs?
Im starting out on my own 21 and need health care that's going to be affordable to me but be a good coverage. I have an eye syndrome called duane syndrome and I need surgery done. But I don't have the money up front. Im a janitor and don't know wat would be the best choice for me? My company is called GCA. But I hear there coverage isn't all that good.
What car insurance should I use?
I'm 17, I live in Texas, and my mom is making me get my own car insurance. which would be the best and cheapest for me?""
First time drivers auto insurance?
Ok so I'm 17 and I'm a first time driver can you please name some of the cheapest insurance for me. The most a 100/ month thanks I live in California
Is it true that I am paying taxes to directly to Allstate Insurance now?
Sure sounds like the Chief Justice said so.
""In North Carolina, do you have to already have insurance to get your license?""
I am going to try to get my license sometime this week but im not on the insurance, yet. I was wondering if you had to already be on it, or if you could take the test and if you pass, then get on the insurance. B/c we already have the papers ready for it but... yeah?""
I would like a rough idea of how much it will cost to insure my 17 year old son to learn then drive my car?
I have a peugeot 206 1.4 2005 plate car, it is the only car we own and I would like to put my son on the insurance. He will be 17 in Jan 2011 and we need to gage how much it will cost to have him as a named driver of my car""
Car insurance question?
So my car got scratched in a parking lot and I don't know who did it. I plan on filing a claim with my insurance company to get this fixed. My deductible is $500. My question is: What safeguards do insurance companies have in place to prevent me from changing my collision and comprehensive coverage to drop my deductible to $100, get my car fixed, then switch the coverage back to my normal rate?""
Health Insurance- Test Result Privacy?
I am curious as to how much information my insurance company (through an employer) has access to. For example, can they view the results of my blood tests done via Labcorp/Quest if they payed for them? Also, what about a test such as an EMG and Nerve Conduction study. Do they receive a copy of the final report? I know a copy is sent to my physician and that I personally have the right to a copy. But are results also sent to my insurance company? For what it's worth I have BCBS. Any input would be greatly appreciated.""
I'm 18 can my 18 year old friend take me to my driving test?
I just turned 18 and I'm about to take my driving test. Can my friend take me who is 18 and has her CA driver's license already? Also, if I'm borrowing her car, does my name need to be on the insurance? I live in southern California Thank you""
Cheapest insurance for young driver (UK)?
Whats the cheapest companys for somone who has just passed? one of my mates say co-ops deal for young drivers, another one of my mates says a guy at college says you can get insured with the farmers union even if your not a farmer and get it cheap, is this true? also, any other companies?""
How much have you paid for classic car insurance?
I have just bought merc e220 1993 and looking for cheap policy. Im over 30 female and got a wicked quote for fully comp with a named driver for 180. What have you paid?
Liability insurance on a leased car?
If I lease a car or buy it on credit (a 2004 convertible mustang eg.) can I just buy cheap liability insurance? Please explain, I'm new to this and I need a car asap :/ please and thnx!!!""
Is there a State Farm insurance branch in Texas?
Is there a State Farm insurance branch in Texas?
State auto insurance vs. state of registration?
I am currently working a temporary job away from home in another state not my permanent residence (I am living there for the term of the employment). While there I bought another vehicle and registered it in that state and when insuring it moved my other car to the policy not realizing this could cause a problem. Now on my first vehicle, which was registered in my home state, the home state has refused to renew the registration because it carries out of state insurance. However, I also don't own the first vehicle, it is owned by my parents who are a resident of my home state, I just use it and pay the insurance. So unless I am missing anything, It looks like I am basically going to be forced to register that vehicle in a state where I do not have residence or cancel my insurance policy and get insurance for only that vehicle through a provider in my home state. Is this it or are there other options? I'm confused because they let me renew last year even though I had the out of state insurance, but I had switched during that year so maybe they considered me part-time or something. I would like to avoid changing any state registrations for the time being, because this process is expensive and complicated between the two states in question. Someone told me the cheapest option might be to get a minimum liability policy on the car in my home state so they will give me registration, but I have never heard of that and I'm not sure if that is ok (having two insurance policies on the same vehicle)? I am not trying to play tricks or loophole anything here, I just want to figure out my options and get this done without costing me a lot of money or time.""
Short term car insurance for driving abroad???? (in france)?
I am 19 years old and heading to france for the day, the yearly car insurance I already have does not cover me abroad, so I need to get insurance for the day. I have looked online but most companies only insure people who are 23 years old+""
How is mandated health insurance a stepping stone for universal health care?
Doesn't it just make the HMO's/insurance companies more powerful (which will make them more influential)? Won't it just be like mandated car insurance--but much more expensive?
Car insurance rate 2 driver 2 car under one policy?
I am 25 yrs old and my mom is 40 yrs old. Been shopping around for insurance and found out it is cheaper to put 2 drive and 2 cars under one policy. Is there any pros and cons in doing this? Could doing this affect me later on if i want to be under my own policy ?
""If i have full coverage for car insurance that covers theft, how much should i get?""
esurance if it helps, do i get what i paid for the car when it was new or the bluebook value""
What's the best deals on auto insurance?
What's the best deals on auto insurance?
Insurance then car?
I'm confused, I want to know what would be the best car to get cheap insurance on it. I'm a 20yr old employed woman. I don't care what car I get (I know, it's tragic) as long as it gets me the chepeast insurance. Which car should I buy? (I have a budget of 2000 ish)""
""I been in a car accident with no car insurance, so I want to know how much should I pay the person who's suing?""
I was in a car accident with no insurance and they claim I owed over $6,000. I end up talking it down to $3,000 even. I wanted to know did I over paid or was that a fair amount. The person had whiplash and received treatment and the car was damage at the rear end.""
Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?
In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""
How do online insurance quotes know the cars I own?
How do online insurance quotes (via Progressive, State Farm, etc.) know what cars I own based only on my name, address, and birth date? What kind of database houses this information?""
How much is motorcycle insurance for a 19 year old male?
i bought a motorcycle it is a 2006 cf moto v3 now how much is the insurance going to be a month? im new to riding
Switch auto insurance from USAA to Nationwide?
If the policy quoted by Nationwide was ~35% cheaper than what USAA would give, for the exact same coverage, would you switch?    Why or why not?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-towing-service-affect-my-future-insurance-quote-daniel-ruiz/"
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thenightisland · 7 years
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side note for last night’s Update Post:
the Vacation Curse is 4/4. i woke up to a text from my second in command, one of my absolute best and closest friends on this earth that just said “call me it’s an emergency.” she was sobbing on the phone. her mom dropped dead from a massive heart attack out of nowhere.
one of her sisters is an army wife who just moved to delaware, and my friend’s parents went to help her move into her new house and all that. and then friday the mom dad and sister were just. going about their day. and the mom fell out and within a minute or so wasn’t breathing and between the family and the EMTs et al they did thirty minutes of cpr on her trying to revive her which in cpr time is a hundred fucking years trust me. so my friend’s sister gets to live with the fact that one of her first memories of her new home is her mom dropping dead in front of her, her dad, and her 18 month old daughter. 
then there’s the concern about the dad, who has serious blood pressure issues and who had a biopsy scheduled soon to find out whether or not he has cancer. so we’re all afraid that the death of his wife will be too much for his body to physically handle which if my friend loses her dad too i have no idea how she’ll ever get through it.
so obviously my friend is beyond devastated because her mom was fine and you never think it’s going to be the last time you see a loved one. but my friend has been fragile mental health wise for several months now because the Disorder is a bitch to the point that she felt suicidal enough to avoid certain exit ramps for fear of driving off them. one of our squad members, upon finding out about her mom, immediately was like are you staying home alone and if so i’m taking every conceivable weapon out of your house. so she’s staying at her parents’ house with her youngest sisters, who is wrecked too. the two of them haven’t been on speaking terms lately [the youngest sister’s last words to my friend were “i hate you”] but the whole shared tragedy deal. my friend also had her own house but for mental health reasons had been staying at her parents’ house fairly often because she didn’t want to be alone so she called her landlord to get out of the rest of her lease so she’s going to move back home both to support her dad and to keep her from being in a dangerous place mental health wise. 
so my friend is flying out to delaware in a few hours to help get her dad home because he can’t make that 16 hour drive alone in this state. and my friend is just destroyed like completely destroyed which like obviously people are sad when their parents die but you have to understand what has happened to this poor fucking woman the last few years okay:
when i met her in december 2014, she was just coming to the end of a two year long awful divorce from an abusive husband, and had just had /five cardiac surgeries/ feb 2015 her entire house flooded and destroyed like half of her belongings sometime that summer her grandmother died a very slow and unpleasant death jan 2016 she tore her ACL and MCL and had to have surgery and was out of work for like almost four months july 2016 her life was finally getting back to normal, and then it turned out her mild stomachache was a ruptured appendix she’d been walking around with for two weeks unknowing and she was in the icu for two weeks septic and almost died and had to have major invasive abdominal surgery and was on a goddamn ventilator for three days and was out of work till like late august early november 2016 she got sick again and turns out there was still bacteria in her that they didn’t get out the first time so she had to have major abdominal surgery /again/ jan 2017 she tore the meniscus and the PCL in the same goddamn knee she’d torn the other things in and had to have major fucking orthopedic surgery /again/ and obv was out for weeks and weeks with that too this summer was a series of attempted relationships with terrible men one of whom was reaching a level of stalker so that was fun this summer is also when she started crashing mentally because of well everything which of course made everything /even worse than it already was/ and she basically had a nervous breakdown late august early sept idr which she discovered that the major abdominal surgeries had kind of well weakened her abdominal wall and ended up with a /severe hernia/ that landed her on antibiotics and is going to require /yet another surgery for her/ obv through all of this it wrecked her financially too because medical bills and such so she’s had that hanging over her head and i’ve obv helped as much as possible where that’s concerned so i can help with /something/ and so now her fucking mother dies. and her hernia surgery? it was scheduled for the end of the month. it was scheduled on what would have been her mom’s next birthday.
so when i say devastating i’m not exaggerating in the slightest.
and i ended up sitting in my car at work for hours tonight after i got off because 2017 has been nothing but death and sadness and injury and heartache and the fact that it’s apparently not letting up at all and that people i love keep having awful shit happen to them is becoming a lot. it is so fucking hard to watch one of my best friends suffer like this and i’m an emotional sponge and i already experience the world turned up to 11 so stuff like this just destroys me. me and none of the people in my life have deserved the shit that’s happened to us this year it’s just fucking excessive and i want to know when the fuck will it stop will it ever stop surely it can’t just keep being terrible i’m emotionally exhausted and i’m so mad that the fucking something bad happens when i come back from vacation curse /continues to actually be a thing that happens/ and i just.
“Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.”
like “life doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints it takes and it takes and it takes” and i am so fucking sick of 2017 taking and taking
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