#he wouldnt hold my hand. refused to kiss me bc ‘your lips are too wet’

[mintedaisies]

woah long tags

#its very hard to imagine myself being wanted #people compliment me and my first thought is that theyre joking or playing around or just being nice/polite #i dont see how anybody finds me attractive #to him i wasnt worth it. i wasnt good enough at anything #he wouldnt hold my hand. refused to kiss me bc ‘your lips are too wet’ #wouldnt let me take him on dates and when he did it was miserable the entire time #he was miserable. he made ME miserable. #would tell me to my face that my hrt wasnt working #would make fun of my interests #berate me for forgetting things even tho hes known from day one that i have memory problems #tried to shit talk me for said memory issues to my best friend #he’d turn up the radio in the car when i would start singing - not to jam but to cover up my voice #he would learn the songs that I really liked singing and would skip them immediately #he only ever jokingly complimented me #i don’t understand #what did i do to deserve that #why did you treat me like that? #and now thanks to you + previous issues I literally feel so unlovable #thats another reason im holding off on relationships rn #i feel like its not possible to love me #where the mint grows #i just want to be adored and appreciated and shown that im loved #i want to be something to someone and not have to worry when the other shoe is going to drop #tbd #honestly i hope that you miss the way i treated you #i hope you miss how good i was to you #ive had several other people tell me that i was damn near a perfect partner and that i threw my whole heart and soul into that relationship #i hope you regret it and that it lives with you for the rest of your life. i hope it eats you alive. #vents