#berate me for forgetting things even tho hes known from day one that i have memory problems | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weaselle · 5 years

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pay no attention to this collection I just need to post it so I can find it

hit walls and floor... tall inside of my skull; if I never fall at all, clever's awfully dull - so if "push" says the door you'll be watchin' me pull - 'cause I only shop for china when I'm walkin' with bulls

Order me sit? dope, I'm askin' how high; I out right hope my notes are causin' outcry - where do I fit? miles as the cow flies - statistically shit, climbin' slopes to outlie

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I can juggle knives, and proselytize, and wink my eyes in flirth (or mix words like mirth and flirt, like, ask what planet Dirt is wearth) I can lift a person by their soul, or... even let them down; I can fit myself to any role: demon, prophet, clown. I can write like frightened squid, or read a book from any shelf- but a lifeguard out at sea can drown, and I can't save myself

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I want an adventurous crew, less than 100 and much more than 2; I've got an idea or four to do and believe that "to lead" isn't "ordering you" - I want be thicker than thieves: if one of us cries, everyone grieves; stacked deck for success, form small companies so that every ace dealt goes up all of our sleeves - I wish I had Boromir's horn; I stand full of arrows, small and forlorn I'd summon an army as sure as you're born and we'd rend every obstacle / mend what is torn

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yo when it's late I don't know if debate is a pro that I'm prone to or con I conflate; yawn ok great it's the dawn of new date too soon gone like a pawn in a perilous state - do I wander or wait, keep closed yonder gate or transpose these ten toes 'til exposing my fate? if not off to bed nodding off head berates and refuses to do more than snooze/obfuscate

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I don't have time enough to tell the clock to stop its ticking talk, while I'm sublimely sleepy, still ensconced in twos of shoes and socks; I'm staring off in awful need of themes that breed these searing thoughts- I breathe more air when all unfair reality congeals and clots; when sleep is claustrophobic, fear near stoic in its static stay, I ride my nightmares into mounts more suited to the dreams of day

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time for me to be known from home to home, on the campaign trail like when Romans roam, I'mma do the damn thang, prevail and own every twist in this life-line vine I've grown

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sick like a little bit with a bad tum and sniffle it's not a badda-boom bat beating but a wiffle hit; sleep like the bleeping sheep gotta wring it outta me, sore like a freaking score that you sing without a "c".

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i got nothing to say, i'm all bluff in this play, i mean i'm here to swerve some verse it's clear i'm thumpin' away at the buttons with the letters on whenever it’s day like a cat attacks a sweater, just pretending it’s prey - I need to catch the thing I’m chasing, like, it’s gotta get caught, and so I jot it down a lot to try to capture the thought; but though the plot is often written out in dashes and sketches, i rarely cash in those checks, i need more carry than fetches, so I’m dreamin’ and dumpin’ out all the schemin’ or somethin’ and like, even if it’s meaningless these keys I’ll keep thumpin

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with the internet i’m magic and i’m casting a spell call a song out of the air to here as clear as a bell private playlist from the A-list like i’m famous as hell making music moving quickly so I’m faster as well

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“oh no” I shout “Where’s Trusty my phone?” I don’t know the whereabouts, must be shown- adjusted the tone of the ring to silence now trying to find it brings me to violence; really need to locate as I motivate to go today I throw the flippin’ sofa pillows hopin’ for a stowaway... but oh no way it’s gone I pray this song will make a tiny spell; a lesson less on lost forlorn and more intent on finding cell

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pocket full of humbug, some'll argue/ some shrug but damnit my whole planet's stupid like it's on the Dumb drug will there be a U.S. war? (I mean ANOTHER on our list) maybe something civil: neo-drivel vs. power fist... maybe accidental, mental trump insulting china's boss I fear these pale tears will steer us straight into a giant loss

so many people on the earth are searching for a safe life the rich'll keep their swords but lord they'll take away our steak knife Nothing free for you and me our banking fees are never waved; an act by black or poor is "crime" for white or rich it's "misbehaved" They're pouring us an ethanol and calling it an eggnog - time to run away and trade these reindeer for a sled-dog; the season of the commie christ whose message hasn't landed yet: money only isn't evil if the people's needs are met

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no thanks on the news, yo crank up the tunes, don't bank on the crankiness taking a snooze unless I get dressed from neckless to shoes and charge the horizon more wise than confused __________________________________________________________

hear the too late beep, missing two days sleep, and the road to a dream is a two way street; so the mood stays bleak though I do make sweet this coffee with cream and the brew ain't weak

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been a While since I styled out the verbs and tenses, went around the Gates and straight hopped the fences; penUltimately gotta be a sultan of self: master mind, rule body, find my worth-and-my-wealth; if i'm quiet too long I'll have sloth not stealth so I try to move along and get my words off the shelf.

my projects: objects I invent/books writ - that shit won't pay the rent; throw fits, I have, it don't prevent: what's real from feeling devil-sent.

so I must be clever, do each: sum total; whatever needs eating this dead-beat goat'll; ask what is the art in a pace grown sickly? cut to the part where the chase goes quickly

Now hook or crook I must prepare, to tell each truth/take every dare stand hand on hips, and one in air, you can kiss my lips, or my derrière

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got me a hit list, swear i'ma get this done til the sun goes under the business; witness, this is crazy and witless, lazy lately: maybe the wiz kid just hid restless - put to the test his quiz is bested get to the rest it's now or not again, get that got and then kill it til the whole damn lot is a slaughter pen, sweat til the wet drip drops gettin' hotter than the metal that your kettle corn kernel keeps poppin' in; hoppin' and hippin' and readin' what's written i gotta be gettin' to the List no skippin'! slippin like fall, new leaves i'm flippin - givin' my all just to keep on grippin'; breakin' what doesn't bend wrong way through, as i make it to the end of the long To Do

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i post at the prompt, chew big what i've chomped; grew kid to a ghost haunting most of this pomp; listless within this to do list i'm swamped - spirit in fits, corpse slow to go romp

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incautious swatches of saying; watch as he washes the playing: switching the swerving and swaying into some terms of conveying wishes conditions occurred in which this envisioned un-blurred digit could get itself heard and flip politicians the bird

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in the trace of the face off you tasted last, is the scent of the sense made fading fast, so your dreams leak sieve-like hiking past a scared nightmare crew of an all-you cast

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got me a pallet of shall get around to, climb out of shallow kie, it's not about you; just look at the play and see where the props ain't, take out a brush but don't rush it you'll drop paint; stop sayin' you're praying for planet like damn saint but get out and do, do it, do, 'til you feel faint; yes do it, true get into some writing, what you must chew is how much off you're biting, i dust off the lightning and plug it right in, if i play hard enough then my bluff just might win, all this tin in my pocket while walking about til the hat-caving camptown will clean me all out- my ten other projects, pretend money fudge it, i'll sell all my objects and end up with budget; i'd love it if some of my ideas ran, but i'll finish the one and be one happy man

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each piece is news, new peace in reach; tho a few of you choose nude tweets of Preach- but the rest got best bits fittin' here, what tests my pets must sit and hear: forget that past rush last two years going mash-gas fast 'til we're clashing gears, it's clear no room for fear to be, but the info flash is a blast to me- from the crashing sea to the land locked loam, we're lashed to the new word womb to tomb; and it's all fantastic like plastic foam that'll patch like magic a tragic home, or a tech part heart in 3-d print that'll let docs talk too intelligent; it's so elegant, that an elephant could do operations like he hella went: to harvard med my head is full but the school yard's sharp like a shaving tool; i'm a raving fool, but i drink it in, article particles 'til i sink and spin, win wonder i'm under delusions grand- will i sunder illusions and understand? or is it too much fuss will i cuss and worry, will i do what's just 'mid the dust and fury all i know is i go with the flow i find, tryna rein in my brain while i fill my mind

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so often was the A.M. spent prayin' for mayhem, like seeing riots firing inspired me to 'amen'; i'd hate when the job sucked, my robbed luck, i'd get stuck- attempts at free society my hopes and dreams were all fucked; but lately (don't hate me) the game is less crazy- i bust twice as lustrous if bosses don't make me; So new to the bragging, i catch up from lagging and write down solutions more lucid less nagging

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no sleep awake i sit and wait until the mill will dim/abate some whim shall take my fancy fate is to be sleeping dreaming state my eyes won't close i'll type i 'spose i'll write a night time rhyming prose those words i've heard but rearranged their meaning seeming weird and strange i've changed but how i could not say i only know no other way yet days gone by then who was i my mind was mine but what i tried to bind untied it flies! it runs! i rue what once i 'knew'; so dumb- untruth undo what time has done i can't so chant of what's to come oh spin oh sing oh show such things oh paint me what the future brings if won't be still then say your fill i pray my brain abstain from frills and spill the beans and give me scenes of things that help divine the means which plan to make which paths to take? i sit and wait no sleep awake

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rework this

i want things to be different, starting with me; like to find me a new mind, with new eyes to see; like to start a new life, with new ways to be; can't be hard to do right, or this dude might flee- but i like the older version, no aversion to he: the kid who up and did lots, and got up from knees; who figured bigger sub-plots, and thought it was neat; who questioned syncopation, by stepping off beat; so i'd like to start a nation, a tribe or a team; one with no reservations just, a vibe and some steam; a group think to shout out 'thou shalt know peace' and to try it they're provided with some elbow grease; what i mean is, i think it's, so nice to be me; and the thing is the scene seems a singularity; but my brain goes, down more roads, than the branches of trees; and with more crew, i might do, more glancing with ease; so for multiples of loyal, one/two/three: i might try it royal, and become true We

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#poem #poetry #poem collection #master post

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kpoptart216 · 6 years

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Path That Lead to You (Namjoon x Reader oneshot)

Genre: fluff and angst (mostly fluff tho)

A/n: this is for my friend in Korea who inspired me to write this. This is for you, my childhood friend 💕 This is quite long and I do have the “keep reading” button added, but sorry if you’re on mobile~ Please let me know what you think! Should I do more oneshots????

Word Count: 8.8k IM SORRY ITS SO LONG

“Oppa! I can’t beliebe you’re going to be in (Y/C/N) for the tour!” Sooji yells across the phone to Namjoon.

“Calm down you brat, what’s got you so exited about that city?” Namjoon sighs as he prepares for his little sisters speech.

“It’s like you never remember anything I tell you! Remember I told you Y/n lives in that city!” She continues, slightly annoyed that her brother hadn’t paid attention before.

“Who’s Y/n..?” He asks, now genuinely confused. He can hear his sister gasp on the other end of the line.

“How can you forget you overgrown loaf of bread?!” Sooji all but yells. “Our friend from when we lived in the states you idiot! Y/n!!” She continues.

Oh. That Y/n.

Namjoon and his family had briefly lived in the states before moving back to Korea permanently. He was only there for about a year and he remembered his younger sister always with this one other girl from her class.

She was probably only 5 when they met, which made him 7 at the time. While his sister had claimed that she had found her “best friend for life” way back then, Namjoon swore he had found an enemy. He remembered always bickering with the girl, especially since she just always seemed to be around.

Namjoon usually kept to himself but Y/n found a way to crawl under his skin. But in a way, she became like a second sister he never wanted. Hell he didn’t even want the first one.

But sooner or later, Y/n had moved to a different neighborhood and his own family had made the decision to move back to Korea. He even remembers the tearful goodbye his sister had with Y/n on their last day. And well, that was the last time he really saw or heard from her.

Good riddance

“Ok and so what do you want me to do about it?” Namjoon sighs. It was late at night and he just wanted to sleep.

“Well, I may or may not have promised her VIP tickets...so cough em’ up” his sister demands.

“You did WHAT?” Namjoon asks angrily. “I told you to stop doing that! We’re not toys for you to showcase Sooji! I’m in no mood to meet your annoying friend let alone have her meet the boys” Namjoon continues.

“Can’t you do it just this once? It’s just one night? Please? She’s an important friend of mine oppa, pleaseeee?” Sooji pleads, knowing her brother can never really say no.

“Ugh why are you like this? I’m telling mom. Just this once, you understand me? No more. I’ll send you the details tomorrow I guess” Namjoon sighs, already regretting his decision. But what was he gonna say? No?

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Sooji squeals before hanging up.

“That brat...” Namjoon sighs as he finally heads to bed.

(4 months later)

You can’t believe the day is already here. 4 months ago, your best friend from Korea had told you that she had scored you tickets to see her brother and band mates perform in your city. Not just regular tickets either, VIP tickets too.

For some reason, you were really anxious. You felt really out of place at the venue when everyone else seemed right in place. All the fans were signing and dancing along to the BTA songs while you just shifted awkwardly in place.

It’s not that you didn’t listen to BTS, you actually really enjoyed their music. But that was about it. You never really followed what else they did apart from what Sooji had told you.

She told you all about her brothers accomplishments and you were pretty proud of them yourself. You remember always fighting with Namjoon as a kid but you both have matured since then...right? He always kept to himself and even at that young age, he would be messing around with various beats and tunes on his tiny keyboard his parents had bought him.

In all honesty, you weren’t surprised by all he had accomplished. You knew from a young age that he was smart, dedicated, and extremely talented. You always smiled when you saw new about BTS in the states.

So you were extremely nervous to see him again after 17 years. What were you even going to say?

By some miracle, you were let in an even managed to make to the barricade for the concert. You just simply stood there, watching in awe as fans filed in one by one and army bombs started the light up and fill the stadium.

And before you knew it, the show started.

Namjoon smiled as he could hear the fan chants from under the stage. In a few seconds, he’d be standing on stage with his brothers performing. And he never got tired of it.

The second they emerged on stage, the entire venue filled with cheers that it was almost deafening.

He felt so energized and he loved every second he stood on stage.

“Welcome to the love yourself tour!! Nice to meet you guys, I’m RM” he says, winking at the camera causing another eruption of cheers.

He just couldn’t wait to walk down the stage and see as many faces in the crowd as he could. So that’s exactly what he did. Namjoon took the lead as he walked down the stage and took his time as he looked at as many faces in the crowd he could.

As he scanned the crowd, his eyes met with a pair of doe eyes that almost resembled Junkook’s. The girl wasn’t exactly a screaming mess like the others. She simply smiled at Namjoon and a pang of familiarity struck Namjoon’s heart. Whoever she was, she was absolutely beautiful. Her long hair flowed down in soft curls and framed her face well. She had on simple makeup and rocked a simple outfit of skinny jeans, converse, and a simple long sleeve shirt.

Damn, she’s gorgeous

He makes a mental note to at least casually shake her hand sometime during the concert.

You couldn’t believe that you had made eye contact with him after all these years. You of course knew who he was, but he didn’t seem to recognize you. As he passed you, you suddenly got thrusted forward and your hand hit the metal barricade. You winced in pain, and decided that it was best to move to the back of the pit to avoid getting hurt further.

Namjoon was slightly disappointed when he couldn’t find the girl in the crowd again, but he forgot about it quickly when he interacted with other fans and had fun on stage with his members.

Before he knew it, the concert was over and he was already saying goodbye. He absolutely loved the energy tonight and he already couldn’t wait to perform the following night and night after!

As the boys took some pictures backstage and got a little cooled down, namjoons phone beeped.

Sooji: “did you see Y/n yet?? Did you did you??”

Oh, that’s right. He totally forgot he was supposed to meet you today. He knew that you were to meet him backstage after the concert ended, so it would be anytime soon.

“Guys, my little sisters best friend is supposed to come and meet us today. I think I told you guys before... anyways she should be here sometime soon. Hopefully she won’t take too much of our time ugh” Namjoon announces and as of right on cue, all the boys hear a knock on the door.

One of the staff enters “you guys have a visitor” the man announces. “You can come in, don’t be shy!” He says to whoever was out the door.

Namjoon eyes the door until a familiar figure walks through the door with her head down. It was that girl from before! Namjoon furrows his eyebrows in confusion till it finally hits him...

“Y/n...?” He asks slowly. Your head whips up at the name, looking directly at Namjoon again for the second time that night. There was that pang I’d familiarity again. Now it made sense...it was you. That’s why his heart was racing a million miles per second right now.. right?

“Uhm..hey there Joon” you say, using the name you called him as a kid.

Namjoon just smiles at you, not believing that you were actually standing here now. You had grown up to become a beautiful woman and honestly, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You were just so...alluring.

So he really couldn’t help what he did next. He takes quick strides over to you and gives you a nice big bear hug, causing you to gasp with your eyes widened. “It’s nice to see you, kiddo” he says

KIDDO? REALLY IDIOT? You couldn’t have used a better word?! KIDDO? Namjoon berates himself internally for his poor word choice

“It’s nice to see you too...” you say slowly, finally hugging him back.

“Hey no fair I want hugs too!” Taehyung says as he practically rips Namjoon off of you and hugs your tiny frame. “I’m Taehyung! But you can call me Tae!” He says still hugging you. He begins jumping around, causing you to giggle.

God Namjoon loved the sound of that.

Soon enough, the rest of the boys introduce themselves and invite you to sit down and talk with them.

Namjoon watches as you talk with all his member as if you guys had known each other before and he smiles how easily you got along with them. But he also notices how you keep pulling at your sleeve and rubbing at your left wrist.

“Hey not to interrupt you guys but Y/n is your wrist ok?” Namjoon asks.

“Oh uh, it’s nothing big” you say, trying to change the subject. But Jin, who was sitting the closest to you, had pulled your arm out, causing you to wince. He slowly rolled up your sleeve, only to find that your wrist was quite swollen and red.

“What happened?!” He said loudly, reminding you of your mother.

“Uh, I just hit the barricade earlier, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing a little ice and Tylenol won’t fix” you say, pulling your hand back to your side, embarrass by how much attention was on you now.

Namjoon simply got up and got some things out of the medical kit before he made his way back to you.

“I think my sister would kill me if she found out I let you leave without doing anything about it. And I’m pretty sure you were pushed so I feel slightly responsible” he says as he sits on the table right in front of you. He grabs your wrist slowly and starts to bandage up your hand.

“Thank you..” you say, taken aback by how kind he was being.

“Don’t mention it. Actually no, mention it to my sister and tell her how great I’m treating you” He Jokes.

“Yeah I’ll be sure to tell her. I’ll also be sure to tell her about your cringey pun at the end of the concert” you joke back.

“Don’t remind me!” He says, more embarrassed now then when he had said it.

But it made you giggle again and Namjoon knew that the pun was in fact worth it.

The rest of the boys had sensed the atmosphere around you two and excused themselves so that you two could catch up.

And while Namjoon wanted to continue talking to you, he knew that it was getting late.

“Hey, since this is your city and all, how about you show me around tomorrow? Unless your busy tomorrow then don’t worry about it.. or we could just get some coffee or something if you have time..” Namjoon rambled.

“I’d love to!” You say excitedly. “We can definitely do both, I’m free tomorrow” you say smiling, causing Namjoon to smile back.

“Perfect! I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo” he says, causing him to internally wince again.

“Good night, Joon” you say with a smile, making your exit.

The following morning, you and Namjoon made plans to hopefully explore the city with minimal to no attention if you were lucky. You weren’t really sure about all the logistics but you were excited for the adventure nonetheless. Fortunately for the both of you, you had a car. Namjoon had already done some research on what he wanted to see. “You’re honestly just going to be my driver for the day” he jokes.

Namjoon made sure to sleep early and wake up early in preparation for his day ahead. He was oddly excited about seeing you again, and when he told Sooji about their plans he could only hear squealing on the phone.

You had texted him once you were parked right in front of the hotel lobby and pretty soon, you saw a y’all figure walk out the hotel with mask covering his mouth his nose and a hay to cover up his warm eyes. You always admired his sense of fashion, and it was even nicer now that he was dressed casually.

As he finally saw your car, he walked as quickly as he could to your car and quickly got in. “Drive!” He says laughing. “Fast fast we gotta get out of here” He says. You quickly put the car in drive and sped on out, not really knowing why you were being rushed.

“Why?! What happened?!” You asked the second you turned out of the hotel.

“I may not have told management about leaving with you today” he said innocently, laughing a little.

“you WHAT?” You ask, almost having the urge to turn around and drop him off.

“They wouldn’t have approved! Plus we’ll be back in time for the concert. Dont worry about it!” He says, taking off his hat.

You couldn’t really do much at this point. So you kept driving.

You and Namjoon had ended up visiting a lot of your local favorite places, including a small park, farmers market, and bakery.

At the end, you ended up at your favorite coffee shop and you ordered coffee for the both of you while you and Namjoon situated himself in the sofa of the corner of the empty cafe. The cafe was quaint and one of your favorite places in the whole city.

Namjoon smiled as you placed a cup in front of him and sat next to him on the small couch.

“This coffee is amazing. And the this shop is quite my aesthetic, I love it” He says as he takes another sip of his coffee.

“So how’d you like my city?” You ask, turning to face Namjoon as he does the same. You rest your head on the side of the couch as you get comfortable.

Namjoon also does the same, following you. “I love it here. When did you end up moving?” He asks.

“I moved here about 8 years ago for my dads job” you say. “I ended up going to university here too” you say, smiling fondly at the memories.

“And well, what do you do now?” He asks.

“I work as an interpreter,” you say, proudly. Your love for languages had always played a big role in your life and you owed a lot of it to Sooji if you were being honest.

“Oh no way! For which languages?” He asks

“Well as of now, I can translate for French, Italian, and...Korean actually” you say, nervously.

“Korean?” Namjoon asks, shocked.

“Well Sooji always made such a great effort to learn English while she was here and even after she moved back to able to talk to me and I guess I started off by wanting to return the favor, but I ended up falling in love with the language and learning about it” you say. Namjoon doesn’t miss the way your eyes twinkle like the twinkle lights hung around the cafe.

“I had no idea. That’s great, really” he says.

And soon enough, you both caught up on everything you had missed over the last 17 years.

“I just find it hard to believe that we’re here, right now, in this moment” Namjoon admits.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to say that?” you ask. “You get to travel the world all the time, why are you so surprised”

“No, I mean with you. I never imagined I’d get to see you again. Sooji pretty much forced me to give you tickets, but I’m really glad she did” he says shyly, causing your cheeks to burn slightly.

“I’m glad I got to see you perform too. But I guess I always knew you’d end up doing it one day or another” you say, smiling.

“why’s that?” he asks, confused.

“Oh come on! You were always so interested in music when we were young. You were always with that keyboard your parents bought you and were already writing lyrics at that age, of course you were going to grow up and pursue music, I had no doubt” you say.

“You remember all of that?” he asks, surprised.

“Yeah.. I do” you say, smiling.

Time seemed to fly by that day and so it was already time to go drop Namjoon back off. His phone was bombarded with calls and texts from his members and managers, but he chose to ignore them all. “I’ll be safe and back on time” was the only thing he said when Jin had called.

Namjoon felt reluctant to get out of your car though when they were finally back at the hotel. He honestly just wanted to spend more time with you. Would it be too much to ask you for your time tomorrow as well?

“I uh.. Thanks for showing me around, Y/n. I had a really good time” he says, turning to face you.

“I did too, Joon. Thanks for catching up your sister’s annoying friend” you say, half joking.

“You’re no longer annoying, congrats” he jokes, causing the both of you to laugh.

“uhm, keep in touch yeah? We should definitely meet up again if we’re ever in the same city” he says again, more serious.

“I’d love that. Good luck at the concert today, they’re going to love you” you say, not really wanting him to leave.

“Bye, Y/n-yah” he says, ruffling your hair before getting out of the car.

Really? First Kiddo and now ruffling her hair? This is sad Namjoon-ah Namjoon thinks as he enters the hotel, ready to face the wrath of his managers.

After the managers had all taken turns yelling at Namjoon, the concert started and ended in a flash. Namjoon didn’t really care though. He just stared at his phone, hoping you had texted him. But sadly you didn’t.

“Guys, we have bad news. Earlier at the concert, one of the fans had accidently pushed our translator for the show and he ended up breaking his leg. He can’t travel with us. Where are we going to find someone by tomorrow for the rest of the tour?” one manager says out loud in the room backstage.

Namjoon looks up and thanks the stars for this strange occurence. “I think I know someone” Namjoon smiles. He pulls up his phone and texts you.

Namjoon: How do you feel about new job?

“Wait so you’re saying you need a translator? for the rest of the tour? and you want me??” you say over the phone, not able to believe Namjoon.

“Yup! you were telling me earlier you wanted to travel! Now is your opportunity! Plus, Sooji will never let me live if I didn’t tell you about this opportunity first. Pkus... I kinda want you here too” he admits. It was crazy how much he had taken to liking you over just a day.

“Y-yes” you say, before you could really think this through. “Yes!! I’d love to!” you squeal.

“Perfect! Meet us at the hotel tomorrow then and we’ll give you an orientation of sorts” he says, excited already.

At first you thought namjoon was joking when he offered you a job. But here you were, two weeks later, working right alongside him. It was the most fun you have ever had and you got to live out your dreams of traveling.

Not to mention the amazing friends you’ve made too. You became quick friends with all the boys, but your friendship with Namjoon blossomed more too. Something about the way he smiled made your heart race a little more than it should. You knew you were catching feelings fast, but honestly, who could help it?

You got to go wherever the boys went for their schedule, which meant you got to experience everything they did. You honestly weren’t even needed that much since Namjoon spoke English so well. That just meant you got to sit down and experience the boys live out their dreams.

Namjoon was so glad he made the decision to reach out to you about the job because since then, you two have practically been inseperable. He silently thanked his little sister for the opportunity to meet you again because now he couldn’t even imagine the tour without you.

You both got to explore each city and learn to your hearts content and much to his annoyance, some of the boys usually tagged along. You didn’t seem to mind though. He honestly just wanted to kind of keep you to himself.

It was one fateful night after about 3 weeks till he finally got you alone. He had invited you to dinner at one of the restaurants he had searched up online. All the other boys opted for seafood and both of you had made a face at the suggestion, so you both agreed to get something else.

Fortunately, the restaurant was small and cozy, which reminded you a lot of the cafe back home. It was even near the hotel so you both opted to walk despite the drizzling. You both ordered some food, matching your mood for the rainy weather outside.

“Thanks for coming along with me, though I don’t know if i’m as fun as the rest of the guys” Namjoon says hesitantly.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. You’re great company and you know it” you admit.

Maybe it was the lighting in the room but you swore you thought you saw him blush for a second.

“This kind of reminds me of the cafe you took me to!” Namjoon says, trying to change the subject.

“I was just thinking that too. It’s nice, I like it” you say as the waiter comes back with your food.

You both converse as you eat to your hearts content. Namjoon pays up and suggests you head back to the hotel before the weather gets any worse. The weather felt nice though, even if you were getting slightly wet. You had the urge to skip all the way back to the hotel, but you decided against it.

Namjoon offered to walk you back to your room, even if it only a floor below yours. But he insisted, claiming the walk could be dangerous. You don’t argue it though, because that just meant more time with him.

Once you got off the elevator, you made your way to your room which was at the end of the hallway. You fidgeted awkwardly as you tried to find your room card in your purse.

“Thanks for dinner” you say, finally pulling out the card. “are you going to sleep soon?” you ask.

“Nah, I think I might do a V-live for the fans. Then I’ll probably call my family” he says.

“Oh! Tell your sister I said hi! Your parents too!” You say excitedly.

“Will do” he says, smiling.

“Uh, good night, Joon” you say, affectionately.

“Good night, Y/n” he says, smiling.

You hesitantly go into your room before closing the door. You weren’t really sure what you were expecting, but you were sad that the night ended so soon.

You walk towards your bed, about to throw your jacket on the bed when you heard the frantic knock on the door. Thinking something bad happened, you rushed to the door and opened it before even checking who was outside.

Much to your surprise, it was Namjoon again.

“What happ-” you started only to be interrupted by his soft lips on top of your own. You gasped slightly in shock, but you grasped on to the slightly damp sweatshirt he had been wearing. You close your eyes and revel in the kiss, melting as each second went by. His hands held onto your waist as you wrapped your hand around his neck, deepening the kiss.

You don’t really know who pulled away first, but you both needed to pull away for some oxygen. He rested his forhead on top of yours while you both took a moment to catch your breath.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you at the concert, Y/n” he says, smiling.

“Then what took so long” you ask, giggling.

The kind of romance you were currently living was one you only read in books. You were dating one of the most sought after artists in the whole world, and yet no one knew other than the both of you.

You stole glances in eachothers directions whenever no one was looking. Secret kisses when no one else was in the room. Dates literally all over the world.

You were surprised that you never got caught, especially when the whole world had their eyes on the boys.

It kind of stung during whenever Namjoon claimed he wasn’t dating anyone during interviews. It was worse when you actually had to translate that yourself. Namjoon didn’t miss the way your smile slowly faded when he says those words.

But it doesn’t take much time before he’s assuring you that you’re the only one for him when he sneaks into your room later that night.

Most days you were on cloud nine. In fact, there was dread in the pit of your stomach when you thought about how this would all end. It was one thing to be touring with the boys and getting to spend all your time with them but what happens when the tour ends? When you have to go back home and part ways with them?

It was something both you and Namjoon avoided talking about in fear of ruining what you both had. But as each day passed, you got more and more worried. There was only one more month of the tour left.

So you mustered up all the courage you had and brought up the topic one night when you two were alone in your room.

“I’ve thought a lot about it too Y/n” Namjoon admits. “I was wondering how to bring it up myself” he says shyly/

“Well, what are our options really?” you ask.

“Well.. there’s two ways we can go about this I guess. One... we can part ways at the end of the tour. Keep our time together locked away in our memories. Or... you could move to Korea....” he says with a small voice.

And in all honesty, those really were your only two options. There’s no way that Namjoon could move anywhere for you considering his career.

“What about long distance?” you say half-heartedly knowing full well you were not strong enough for that kind of a relationship.

“I don’t think I could do that. I mean dating me would already feel like a long distance relationship anyways considering how much time I spend for work. But spending all the time with you now like this and then having to resort to just seeing eachother on a screen would be unbearable for me..” he says.

“I couldn’t agree more” you say as you play with his hair.

“Just think about it ok? I know what I’m asking of you is a lot. And I’ll completely understand if you don’t want to move for me. But.. I really want to keep seeing you.” Namjoon says.

“Give me some time. There’s a lot to consider” you say carefully.

You had pretty much made up your mind when Joon had asked you. Over the course of the last couple of months traveling with him, you fell in love with him. Sure, you hadn’t said those words to each other yet, but you pretty much thought he felt the same way about you. Why else would he ask you to move to Korea for him?

The best part was that you would already have a job lined up if you ended up moving. Sooji had practically begged you to move to Korea when she first heart you were studying to be a translator and though you didn’t really have any plans to do so, you had found a few jobs right in Seoul. You had passed a few interviews over skype and when you reached out to a few of the companies after Namjoon had asked you to move, a few were still willing to hire you.

It was honestly a pretty easy decision on your part, and you now you just wanted to find a special way to tell Namjoon. You were just too excited to start this new chapter of your life.

Namjoon was anxious to hear your answer as soon as he had asked you. Though he knew it was a big decision and required time to think through all the logistics, he couldn’t help but want to hear your answer as soon as possible.

The days following asking you was a real struggle for him. You hadn’t given him any sort of indication that you had made a decision and his nerves were starting to eat at him. Were you going to say no?

As if that wasn’t bad enough, his days were incredibly frustrating and tiring as well. Things just weren’t going his way. Interviewers were asking him the same questions during each and every interview. He messed up his choreography during one of the performances at the concert which earned him a scolding from Hoseok. He spilled food on some of his favorite clothes. Fans swarmed the boys when they were leaving an interview. Overall, it was just a really rough couple of days.

What made it worse was that he didn’t really have much time to see you either. Due to some mishap, he ended up sharing a room with Jimin and that meant he couldn’t sneak out of his room without being asked questions.

Thankfully, the boys got quite a big room, but that only meant all the other boys chose to hang out there that night to eat dinner together. But to Namjoon, there was still some silver lining since now was probably a good time to tell the boys that he was dating you and that there was a chance you might move to Korea to be with him as well.

What he didn’t know however was that the boys already knew. They weren’t blind afterall. They chose not to say anything to their leader since they wanted to respect his privacy, but that didn’t stop them from congratulating you when they had caught you alone a few weeks ago. You were a blushing mess, but they made you promise not to tell Namjoon that they knew so that they could make fun of him when he finally decides to tell you guys. You felt bad, but you respected their wishes as well. In fact, you were quite glad they knew. Because tonight, you were going to tell Namjoon that you were going to move in with him and you kind of wanted the other members to record his reaction.

As all the members filed into the room bringing their dinner as Namjoon shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“So... I have something to tell you guys” Namjoon says as a few of the members placed a spoon full of food in their mouth.

“What is it hyung?” asks Jimin, already knowing he’s probably going to talk about dating you.

“I um.. I uh.. How do I say this. I uh, I’ve been dating Y/n for the last couple of months...” he says quickly. He wasn’t even sure if they understood him. He was almost scared to meet their eyes, which he felt on him, so he lifts his head slowly to find 6 pairs of eyes on him.

“ok and?” asks Yoongi. Now everyone knew that Yoongi had a more laid back kind of vibe amongst the group, but he usually showed more emotions when it came to such bigs details like this. To say Namjoon was shocked was an understatement.

“I uhm, just wanted to tell you guys now, so you don’t find out through someone else later...” Namjoon says almost sadly. He was genuinely shocked and saddened by the lack of a response from his members.

“You know for someone so smart, you’re pretty dull. You must think we’re blind if you thought we didn’t know” says Jin, laughing.

What? They knew?

“You guys knew already?” asks Namjoon.

“Well obviously. You both had heart eyes for eachother since the night you met. And it was obvious you liked her if you snuck away from management the day after you met. Plus, your ‘secret’ glances towards each other isn’t so subtle hyung” says Jungkook as a matter of fact.

“Plus, you’re almost never in your room at night anyways” says Hoseok.

Namjoon was baffled. He thought he was playing it safe, but he probably really can’t hide anything from his members. They knew him too freaking well.

You on the other hand had made your way to their hotel room which was thankfully located at the end of the hallway to a corner of the hotel. Jin had made sure to leave the door slightly open for you so that you could enter without Namjoon knowing and you had texted him letting him know that you were outside and ready to go. Now you just had to wait for the right time to go in. From the way the conversation was going, you could probably go in pretty soon.

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys sooner. I know I always tell you all to keep me in the loop if you’re going to be seeing anyone but I just.. I just didn’t... I didn’t know what was really happening is all” he said in a blur.

Didn’t know what was happening? What was that supposed to mean? You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you listen in on the conversation.

“What do you mean hyung?” asks Taehyung.

“As in, I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. Hell I’m not sure what I’m doing now either. I- I have a lot to think about right? I mean, we’re idols guys. Look at our lifestyle” Namjoon says as he points around the extravagant room.

Your smile slowly fades as the conversation continues. What exactly was he trying to say now.

“So what? She’s a sweet girl and practically best friends with your sister” Jin tries to ease the conversation.

“So? Before the tour started she was just my sister’s annoying friend” Namjoon said. And honestly, that stung a little, but you understood since you both never really got along when you were kids.

“Ok, but now she’s someone you really like right?” tries Jimin, also knowing you were probably outside now.

“I.. I guess?” Namjoon says, confused himself. Now that he was saying these things out loud, he realized he had disregarded a lot of things. His infatuation with you had seriously clouded his judgement. He forgot all about his career and millions of fans for a fraction of a second.

Meanwhile, the first couple of tears started to pool in your eyes. You wanted to tell Namjoon you loved him today since you thought he felt the same way for you by now, but all he could say was “I guess”?

“Can I be honest with you guys? I really need your input now” Namjoon says, and he misses the tension in the room as he says so. But he ignores it and continues anyways. “Guys... I had asked her to move to Korea after the tour ends... And now that I’m sitting here talking to you guys, I realized I didn’t think things through.

The first tear slipped from your eye.

“I mean, I wasn’t even thinking about my job! Our job. Our fans. What would the company say?” Namjoon asks worriedly.

“Hyung.. the company trusts us. You know we’re allowed to date now. And as for the fans, once you tell them I’m sure if they’re true fans they will understand and be happy for you” says Taehyung.

“Tell the fans? Are you kidding? Why would I ever make this go public?” Namjoon scoffs.

The second, third, fourth, and following tears fall next.

“I’m not even sure where this relationship is going. Sure, we’re having fun now, but what is it going to be like once we’re back home? Plus, she’s never been or lived in Korea, she wouldn’t understand” Namjoon continues.

Namjoon couldn’t help but think that perhaps he rushed things.

“Hyung...” Jungkook starts, not really knowing what to say. “But if you really like her, then wouldn’t it all be worth it?”

“But what if it isn’t Jungkook?” Namjoon asks slowly. At that point, no one was eating and the entire room was silent.

“I didn’t think things through you guys. I need to think about it again and talk to Y/n when I have it all figured out” he says.

And at that point, it seemed like you really only had one choice. It was obvious that had thought too much of your relationship with Namjoon.

You had opened the door slowly and Jin turned to see you entering with your eyes puffy from crying and rubbing at them. You looked absolutely heartbroken and he gulped at what was about to come.

“Sorry to bring you guys down, but let’s finish out din-” Namjoon starts before he finally see’s you entering the suite.

“Y-Y/n? What are you uh.. doing here?” he asks slowly, standing up. It only takes one glance at you for him to know that you had been crying and that you were incredibly upset. He had never seen this side of you and it made his heart drop. He instantly hated how it made him feel.

“what’s wrong? Are you ok? Did something happen?” asks Namjoon, walking towards you in an instant with worry written all over his face. It hadn’t registered in his head that you had just heard everything he said.

You took a step back as Namjoon got closer to you, making Namjoon freeze in his place. Never once had you backed away from him.

“Y/n what happ-” he tried again.

“I uhm, didn’t mean to, but I heard everything you just said now. I.. I didn’t know that’s what you had thought of this whole thing” you said, trying your hardest to not cry more.

“Y/n let me explain hhm?” he says again.

“No, I think I understood. I um, guess I’ll make this a little easier on you then. I won’t be moving to Korea with you. And uh, whatever we have going on is over too. Don’t want to risk getting caught with management or fans or anything” you say, with a small fake smile on your face. You couldn’t even muster the courage or energy to look at him in the face as you said all this.

Namjoon on the other widened his eyes at your statement, his heart falling to the pits of his stomach. You heard everything he said. And now.. now you wanted to break up. But.. But he didn’t want that. Not in the slightest.

“Y/n wait, don’t do this” he tries again to take a step towards you but you put your hands out in front of you as if put up a wall between you two.

“Before this tour started, I was just your sister’s annoying friend. I think it’s best I stay that way. I’ll uh.. I’ll finish my job as a translator here, so don’t worry about that” you say, not wanting to create a bigger hassle for the team.

You look up to see the six other boys in the room, only to find them all staring at you with sad eyes. “I’m really sorry for any trouble I caused you all. I’ll be out of your hair now” you say before quickly turning and running out of the room, not even giving time for Namjoon to process what just went down. Namjoon could only plop down on the closest chair to him and bury his face in his hands.

“We uh, knew about you guys dating since the beginning almost. Y/n knew we knew too, but we told her not to tell you so that we could give you a hard time one day. She was actually going to tell you that she was going to move to Korea for you, Joon-ah. She wanted us here to film it for her...” Jin explains, patting Namjoon’s shoulders.

Namjoon’s head snapped up.

“She was going to say yes?” he asks, shocked.

Jin only nods and the room is filled with silence once again.

What had he done?

True to your word, you had stuck around to finish your job as a translator for the tour. But you also avoided the boys any time you didn’t have to work. Thankfully, you weren’t really needed much

Namjoon felt terrible about what went down between you two but he honestly didn’t know what to tell you anymore. But he missed you, so incredibly much. But you were avoiding him like the plague and he hadn’t even been able to take a proper look at you since the night you broke up with him.

On part of him told him that this was all working out for the better in the long run. You probably would have been lonely in Korea with him gone all the time. You two might not have even worked out.

But the other part, the bigger voice inside of him, told him that he made a mistake. That though he didn’t think things through before asking you to move to Korea with him, it would have been great having you there. He would have been lying to himself if he said he never thought of a future with you. He did. It was strange but over the last couple of months, you had come into his life in full force and he loved every single fucking second of it. He loved you.

He only didn’t want to make things public because he wanted to save you from that kind of attention that he knew you didn’t like, not because he didn’t want to be seen with you. He only wasn’t sure about his feelings for you because he didn’t know if he could make you happy in the long run.

But in the end, it wouldn’t really matter because you didn’t even want to see him anymore. And soon enough, he was going to lose any opportunity to talk to you and make things right and that very thought scared him to the core.

Not to mention he missed you. He missed your touch, your hugs, your kisses. He missed being able to talk to you late into the night. He missed sneaking away with you. He missed just everything about you.

So one night when he called back home, he came clean about what had gone down these last couple of months to his sister. He was surprised by how calm she was when listening to him and when he was finally done, he simply said “ok Sooji, let me have it”

“I don’t know what to tell you oppa. I’m sad that neither of you told me that any of this happened. I mean, I expected this out of Y/n, but you? Why couldn’t you tell your own sister?” Sooji Asks.

“What do you mean you expected this out of Y/n” he asks.

“I mean, she’s been like this since we were young. Remember you had a couple of bullies in your class back when we lived in the States. Did you ever think why they just suddenly stopped bothering you one day? Well, Y/n, though we were younger than you all, confronted your bullies one day in the playground and stood up for you. I still remember her telling those guys to leave you alone and threatened to kick them if they didn’t” Sooji said, giggling a little.

Namjoon had almost forgot about that. It was true. There were two other boys in his class who had used to pick on him for always being alone in school, but one day, the bullying had just stopped. Little Namjoon was curious about why, but he knew not to question it.

“You might have hated her as a kid, but she always wanted to be your friend. She always asked about you, you know. Growing up I mean. She always asked if you made good friends and ended up pursuing music, even before you were a trainee” Sooji continued. Namjoon hadn’t realized himself, but he felt tears form in his eyes.

“She’s always admired you, and I have no clue why. But I do know that you don’t deserve her. I know thats rude of me to say, and i’m sorry, but it’s the truth. She’s too good for you, oppa. I’m disappointed in you” Sooji says calmly, which was a stark contrast to her usual hyper personality. That’s how Namjoon knew he had royally fucked up.

“I know I don’t deserve her, but what do I do? I still want her” Namjoon says mostly to himself.

“Do you love her?” asks Sooji.

“Yes” Namjoon says confidently now. “I do. So, so much. And I don’t want to lose her. But she won’t even look at me anymore” Namjoon says.

“Well then get her attention” Sooji says.

“How? She’s never in the same room with me unless we’re on a schedule” Namjoon says. And as he said the words aloud, it was as if a light bulb turned on on top of his head. “Unless... I.. I tell her during an event” Namjoon says to himself.

“I think you know what you have to do oppa” Sooji says, smiling to herself.

“Thank you Sooji-ah! Thank you!” Namjoon says excitedly.

You don’t know how, but you were already at the last concert. Which meant this was your last night on the job. Tomorrow, you had booked tickets for back home and pretty soon you’d be back to your life without bangtan.

You sat through the entirety of the concert and still watched in awe as if it was your first. Luckily, the boys didn’t need any translation today, so you were able to enjoy the concert in peace. This was how you started this whole experience anyways, might as well end it the same way.

Finally, the boys had wrapped up most of the concert and the ending ments were starting. You realized this was probably the last time you were going to see them, and you cried silently as you watched them talk to fans. You were hoping to slip out of the venue before the concert ended so that you can get a headstart to the hotel to finish up packing before your early flight tomorrow.

You had gotten up from your seat backstage about to make your exit when you hear Namjoon’s voice again. You knew it probably wasn’t the best idea to stay, but you just wanted to hear his voice one last time in person. The voice you loved so fucking much.

“ARMY! I hope you all had a really fun time tonight! We are so excited that we got to share this evening here with you all! I can’t believe the tour has already come to an end and I’m so happy I got to see as many ARMY as possible in this time. I will truly treasure these memories in my heart forever. Thank you so much ARMY!

Since it’s the last concert tonight, I want to tell you all something important” Namjoon says, and the crowd is already yelling. You furrow your eyes in confusion, since Namjoon was pretty much going off from what he practiced

“Early on in this tour, I met someone, ARMY” he says slowly. The fans are all screaming various things, some clearly not happy already.

“I um, met someone really amazing. Someone really nice. And someone really pretty, inside and out” he continues bravely. “Some of you guys might have seen her actually. Her name is Y/n and she is our translator for our tour. Now, I want to be honest with everyone here tonight. The members, my company, all of the fans here and around the world. And most importantly Y/n herself.

She’s probably backstage listening right now. At least, I hope she is. I uh, fell in love with this beautiful woman. A woman who I have actually known since I was a kid and from the time I lived in the States for a while. I fell in love with... well her everything. She makes me so incredibly happy and makes me want to be a better person” he says. Now most of the fans are just screaming “awww” at the top of their lungs.

“But, I made a mistake a few weeks ago. I think.. no I know that I really hurt her. And I’m scared I won’t get the opportunity for her to hear my heart if not for tonight. So in front of the world today, in front of all the people that matter to me, I want to say loud and proud that I, Kim Namjoon, love Y/N L/N. I want to be with her for as long as she will have me and I want her to know that I’m so so so sorry” Namjoon says, letting a tear fall.

For a second, the entire venue was quite at Namjoon’s declaration and the boys all stared at the crowd, not really sure what to expect. But within a matter of seconds, the fans were all yelling and cheering for Namjoon.

Namjoon let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiled as his fans cheered for him.

Somewhere from the back of the venue, a small chant could be heard. At first, the boys couldn’t really make out what they were saying but as more and more fans started to chant, it was clear.

The fans were chanting your name.

Pretty soon, every single fan in the venue was cheering your name and you stood backstage in shock at what just went down.

Namjoon had just publicly declared his love for you. This was something he could never take back. The whole world knew now. You stood frozen in your spot backstage, not really sure what to do.

That was, until some of the stylists came behind you and quite literally pushed you onto the stage.

You had stumbled onto the stage but before you could run back backstage, there was a spotlight on you and the fans erupted in cheers.

The boys had turned to face you and Namjoon’s heart raced a million miles per hour after seeing you. He had to admit, you looked hella cute when you were shocked.

He jogged up to you and the fans only cheered louder as he got closer.

When he finally reached you, he held out his hand for you, waiting for you to take it.

You looked around the fans were all telling you to take his hand and even the members were whooping and cheering for Namjoon behind him. With some hesitation, you slowly reached out for Namjoon’s hands. But the second you held onto him, all your nerves vanished. You had just missed him so incredibly much.

You could only smile at Namjoon with astonishment.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Y/n, my love” he says, as he ushers to the front of the stage.

There, you stood nervously amongst seven of the most famous men in the world, staring at thousands of fans and their ARMY bombs.

“Thank you so much, for coming back to me” Namjoon whispers into your ears, causing the fans to cheer even more loud if that was even possible at this point.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” starts Hoseok and pretty soon, all the members and all the fans are chanting along with him.

“Can I?’ Namjoon asks, turning to face you.

you simply nod and within seconds, Namjoon’s lips meet yours as he pulls you into him.

In that moment, you had forgot everything else. All the other members, all the fans, all the staff, and certainly all the news articles that would be coming out, if they weren’t out already.

In that moment, the only thing that mattered was Namjoon.

He finally pulls away, only to have his forehead placed on top of yours. “I love you, Y/n. More than I can ever imagine” he says, smiling.

“I love you, Joon-ah” you say, smiling back.

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