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#homestuck^2 act 1
pesterloglog · 2 months
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Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jade Harley
Page 565-572
ROSE: Kanaya,
ROSE: It looked for a moment back there as if you were going to actually go through with our "Mutilate The Hostage Beyond Recognition" ruse.
ROSE: With Yiffy rescued and the other children absent, might now be an appropriate time to... hash it all out?
KANAYA: Mm
KANAYA: And What Do You Feel Needs to be Hashed Exactly
JADE: ugh... well
JADE: kanaya i know you havent been very happy and youre probably super frustrated
JADE: but first off i want to say thank you soooo much for putting everything aside to help us
JADE: youre the reason i have my girl back!
JADE: and with minimal bullet holes too! haha
KANAYA: Ha Ha Ha
JADE: ... also... you have every right to be angry!!
JADE: this isnt a little white lie, its a whole bed of secrets which then became an entire child
JADE: but whatever it takes to earn back your trust ill do it!
JADE: ever since we first met ive respected you, felt cared for by you
JADE: i hate how i returned that kindness...
ROSE: Jade.
JADE: and of course you arent obligated to ever forgive me but... i dont want to lose you too!
JADE: i love you kanaya
JADE: youre my family
KANAYA: You Fucked My Wife
ROSE: Exhales.
KANAYA: My Apologies Jade
KANAYA: That Was Very Brave And Of Course Extremely Forthcoming Of You
KANAYA: A Refreshing Change Of Pace From The Ongoing Process Of Haggling The Truth Out Of The Two Of You Detail By Sordid Detail Following The "Yiffy Reveal"
ROSE: Implying we are leaving out information that could remedy this situation.
KANAYA: Implying
ROSE: Sorry.
KANAYA: I Didnt Want You To Remedy The Situation
KANAYA: I Wanted You To Own It
KANAYA: Instead You Let John Lead The Conversation With His Stupid Questions
KANAYA: And Sprinkled Out A Gauche Attempt At A Tear
JADE: but-
ROSE: A bit shameless perhaps.
JADE: !
KANAYA: It Was Theatrical
KANAYA: Well Unlike John I Am Not A Stranger To Your Lives
KANAYA: When You Feed Me Some Half Baked Lie About Karkat And Dave Wanting To Adopt I Know Better
KANAYA: And Though That Travesty Of A Name Is Undoubtedly An Incomprehensibly Offensive Piece Of This Particular Puzzle
KANAYA: What I See Is Not An Explanation
KANAYA: But A Glossing Over Of The Worst Detail
ROSE: Jane.
KANAYA: Rose That Woman Is Going To Ruin The Future For Our Daughter
KANAYA: And You Snuggled Into A Secrets Bed With Her
KANAYA: For So Long I Couldnt Convince You To Share A Cup Of Tea With Jade
KANAYA: Then Years Later You Happen To Grow A Sympathy Gland And Decide To Jump Right To Sharing Offspring
JADE: its my fault kanaya! she was the only option i had left...
KANAYA: Sure Let Us Go With That Considering Your Stated Distaste For Ectobiology
KANAYA: Thats Only Suitable For Trolls Correct?
JADE: no!
JADE: everyone deserves a choice
JADE: but...
JADE: i already have an entire kingdom of ecto-children
JADE: this had to be different
ROSE: No one wants to contribute to the off brand doppelgangers strolling the streets.
ROSE: Easily the worst aspect of this place.
KANAYA: Is That Why You Acquiesced
KANAYA: ?
KANAYA: Because I Am Stumped On That Part As Well
KANAYA: If Memories Serves When We Were Adopting Vriska
KANAYA: I Mentioned The Precarious Possibility Of A Jadedavekat Brood
KANAYA: What Is It That You Said Again
ROSE:
KANAYA: I Believe Your Approximate Verbiage Was That "Their Dysfunctional Human Centipede Of A Relationship Is Soaking With Lighter Fluid And Begging To Burn" And That You Would Feel Sorry For The Grub
KANAYA: Jades Qualities Rang Too Familiar Right
KANAYA: Evasive
KANAYA: Pushy
KANAYA: Lacking In Proper Coping Mechanisms
KANAYA: Carrying An Air Of Unspeakable Sadness
KANAYA: The Poor Kid
ROSE: Congratulations.
ROSE: You've managed to exhume the solemn cadaver of my mother's memory and make her the star of another argument.
KANAYA: As If You Ever Bothered To Bury Her
ROSE: What does this have to do with anything!?
KANAYA: What I Am Doing Is Demonstrating That I Have No Intention To Mediate This Situation
KANAYA: Or Pacify It
KANAYA: Or Even Be A Little Bit Nice Right Now
KANAYA: So Perhaps Youll Actually Take Me Seriously For Once
KANAYA: Instead Of Assuming You Can Pull The Baabeast Keratin Over My Eyes And Distract Me From The Awful Reality
KANAYA: That You Trusted A Monster Over Me
KANAYA: And Cant Even Tell Me Why!
ROSE: And if you don’t like the answers?
KANAYA: That Is Future Roses Problem
ROSE: I see...
ROSE: Ok.
JADE: (ok...?)
ROSE: I want it on the record, involving Jane was not my decision.
ROSE: But it was a pre-established requisite that I did not fight against.
ROSE: It is Jade’s child after all.
ROSE: And you’re not completely wrong, either.
ROSE: I may have felt some... pang of responsibility. For a litany of psychologically revealing reasons.
ROSE: But more than anything else, I took her up on it because it felt oddly
ROSE: inevitable.
ROSE: Anyways,
ROSE: Deep down, I knew it didn’t matter.
ROSE: However we handled it.
ROSE: Whatever hurt we caused.
ROSE: It was never that serious.
ROSE: I knew you would forgive me.
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: When Did You Stop Trying
JADE: yeah rose!!!!!
JADE: what the fuck!!!!
JADE: this is not what we discussed...
JADE: you're devaluing kanaya's feelings, minimizing our impact on her!
JADE: woah, im defending you!!!
KANAYA: NO
KANAYA: YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF
JADE: b-but i just dont want things to get even worse!!!!!!
KANAYA: Then Stop Pretending That My Feelings Are Top Priority
KANAYA: AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE
JADE: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER!!!!!!!
KANAYA: Excuse Me?
JADE: you heard me!
JADE: you were wronged kanaya!
JADE: the truth cant change that
JADE: saying it just fucking hurts more
JADE: what does that accomplish?
JADE: its so embarrassing, would you even get it if i had?
JADE: you havent been alone since we were thirteen
JADE: and the first chance you got you packed up your cosmic purpose and hid away in the brooding caverns
JADE: you have no idea what its like out there
JADE: how traumatizing dating regular citizens was
JADE: imagine trying to love someone who already knows every available detail about you
JADE: who has *opinions* on what happened to you as a child
JADE: who assumes youre indestructible
JADE: newsflash it fucking sucks!!!!!!! because no matter how nice they were
JADE: they didnt want to know me
JADE: they wanted to date the god of space
JADE: and i felt SORRY
JADE: for disappointing *THEM*!!!!!
KANAYA:
ROSE: I had my suspicions but I had no idea it’d been that bad.
ROSE: You didn’t even hint at it.
JADE: why would i?????
JADE: so everyone could lecture me again on how "bad" my "boundaries" are?
ROSE: (I did that one time.)
JADE: you want bad boundaries
JADE: do you know how many people would be waiting outside public bathrooms to talk to me about their problems?
JADE: this one guy randomly started apologizing because they cooked their hamster in the microwave!
JADE: and they looked so sad... i had to hug them and say it was ok
JADE: but it was not ok!
JADE: they murdered their hamster!
Rose: Ugh...
JADE: and their other hamster killed itself
KANAYA: JADE
JADE: out of loneliness!!!!!
KANAYA: GET TO THE POINT
KANAYA: !!!!!!!!
JADE: millions of people told me they loved me
JADE: but i was never a real person to them
JADE: i couldn't let that happen to yiffy too
KANAYA: What
JADE: i had to save her kanaya!
JADE: give her the chance to grow up as a normal kid with a normal life
JADE: not one where people would befriend her to get close to me
JADE: or fucking bark at her while walking down the street!!!!!!!
JADE: and jane had the resources to provide that
JADE: every scare weve had she was able to cover up
JADE: she literally controls the media for christs sake
KANAYA: We Could Have Figured It Out
KANAYA: Indebting Yourselves To The Second Coming Of The Condescension Was Hardly The Only Answer
KANAYA: I Was Right Here
JADE: thats true but
JADE: you could have said no
JADE: or worse
JADE: i can live with rose doing this because she wanted to see what would happen
JADE: but i couldnt stand the idea of owing my kid to the fact you felt sorry for me!
JADE: especially after the dave and karkat... situation...
JADE: i couldnt do that again
KANAYA: We Could Have Helped You If You Let Us
JADE: i needed a fresh start, not to sit around taking care of grubs and watching shitty romcoms forever and wasting away in an empty house!
JADE: i wanted to live!
JADE: and living here is already so hard
JADE: and not only because of the war or what happened to dirk or whatever the hell is wrong with john
JADE: the world is fucked!!!
JADE: and yet, despite all that, yiffy turned out to be so good
JADE: and she's mine.
JADE: yiffy exists because i needed her to.
JADE: ... shes the only future i have left
KANAYA:
ROSE:
JADE:
KANAYA: Jade I Recognize You Have Had To Sacrifice Principles To Survive
KANAYA: And That Is Hard To Live With
KANAYA: Even Now I Can Sympathize
KANAYA: But 15 Years
KANAYA: ?
JADE:
KANAYA: Even If I Didnt Want Her
KANAYA: She Was Already Here
KANAYA: So Why Make It Worse
KANAYA: Why Perpetuate The Lie
JADE: i...
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baconcheeselover38 · 7 months
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stupid shit i made. so long ago
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catsming · 1 month
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so I started reading homestuck ♑️
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the-egg-route · 11 months
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Act 1: A New Story Begins
[Prologue]
[Next]: TBA
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skittle-is-little · 4 months
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im so happy i have a computer i can play games on now
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homestuck-book-club · 7 months
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Um So how about that Homestuck 2 thing, amirite guys? Pretty great time to be a homestuck fan I gotta say, new content, everybody's freaking out and whatnot... ... Y'know what I think would make this exciting time in homestuck history extra swell? If you had some kind of really kind welcoming friendly community of fellow homestucks to share theories and discuss and hang out and make friends and many other things with ... so., ... *Awkwardly stares down at feet* Join my club it's lots of fun: https://discord.gg/2fnXVwxS7m https://discord.gg/2fnXVwxS7m https://discord.gg/2fnXVwxS7m
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mossflower · 10 months
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finished homestuck!! and adding it to my ever growing list of ‘media near-universally labelled as cringe that actually kinda slaps’
#like i won’t lie parts of it? terrible. i can’t even begin to piece together half of the lord english plot#but i think a lot more of it was actually really really good. especially act 4 and act 5 they were my favourite hands down#act 6 not so much. like separately? i loved the alpha kids and the dancestors and the concept of the cherubs was really interesting#but somewhere the execution fell short. it’s gonna annoy me cause i can’t figure out why#i think it might be the retcon. which i didn’t hate as an idea!! but it occurred closer to the end than i thought it would#i feel like if they’d explored the impact of the retcon more it might have flowed better?? idk#idk. act six as a whole i’m split on. i either loved what it did or was massively confused and exasperated by what it did#it’s like half of the comic and i got through it in about a week when it took me like a month to do acts 1-5#and it doesn’t feel like that much happened it’s weird#but yknow. it is the act that sold me on vriska!! like i liked her before but i really liked her ghosting it up in this act#the bit where ghost vriska and ghost terezi found each other nearly had me in tears#vrisrezi as a whole. what a concept. easily one of the best dynamics in the entire thing#i really hope terezi finds vriska post-canon. however i’m not sure if i want to read the epilogues and homestuck 2 or not yet#ooh ooh also!! john fulfilling his quest slapped!! that’s probably one of my favourite bits in homestuck ngl#and omg. did not see davekat coming i won’t lie but i was v happy about it#k ill stop now bc i will end up listing half the characters and my favourite bits about them. and as fun as that would be#i really need to sleep haha#homestuck
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allofhomestuck · 1 month
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Enter name. (page 2/8030)
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> Try again.
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thewertsearch · 2 years
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Your name is VRISKA SERKET.
Her name is Vriska Serket!!!
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And wow, her place is a mess. 
I kind of expected her to be a neat-freak, since her personality screams ‘perfectionist’ - but maybe she thinks mundane tasks are ‘beneath her’. She has bigger fish to fry. 
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I'd recognize a character sheet anywhere. Vriska probably min-maxes her characters like crazy, and I’d give my right arm to see what busted nonsense she’d make in D&D. 
Your lusus is VERY HUNGRY, ALL THE TIME. She can only be appeased by the FLESH OF YOUNG TROLLS.
Wow, what the fuck? 
I’ll admit, the thought of what lusi eat hadn’t crossed my mind. Trolls are the last thing I’d have expected, but I’m not sure why. It gels perfectly with what we already know about Alternia. 
Even as infants, these poor creatures are forced to fight for their lives in their brooding caverns, and it sounds like those trials don’t end when they emerge. Nepeta’s PoV wasn’t kidding - on Alternia, everyone is unsuspecting prey for everyone else. Even your friends’ parents want to kill and eat you. 
You cloud campaigns for teams of Flarpers, utilizing your abilities for ORCHESTRATING THE DEMISE OF THE IMPRESSSSSSSSIONA8LE. Your victories supply you with treasure, experience points, and SPIDER FOOD.
There’s a carnivorous spider who lives in Vriska’s house, and her PoV explicitly states that she has no choice but to murder her peers to appease the thing. She doesn’t say what will happen if she doesn’t, but does she need to?
This, very tragically, explains Vriska’s obsession with winning. To her, losing isn’t just weak - it means she’s going to die.
You are something of an APOCALYPSE BUFF, which is something you can be on Alternia. You are fascinated by end of the world scenarios, and enjoy constructing DOOMSDAY DEVICES for the hell of it.
I get it. If your life really sucks this bad, the apocalypse isn’t a disaster - it’s a welcome change of circumstances. 
The complete collapse of social order on Alternia might actually improve a lot of trolls’ lives - Vriska included. It’s just unfortunate that the apocalypse they’re actually getting is such a destructive one. 
You are drawn to means of DARK PROGNOSTICATION and the advantages they offer, particularly in gaming scenarios.
Dark forces don’t pursue Vriska - she pursues them. As I said before, she’s probably snooping on every troll in her telepathic range, although Sburb lore seems to have escaped her grasp. 
Sorry, Vriska. You just weren’t destined to know - until tonight. 
You consult with these ominous globes, but routinely destroy them in frustration over the PUZZLING GUARANTEED INACCURACY of their predictions.
8-balls in Homestuck actually have some utility, as we saw with Jade. Vriska seems pretty desperate for information, and I wonder if she’s looking for anything in particular - a way to escape her lot in life, perhaps? 
She seems not to realize that guaranteed inaccuracy is extremely useful in itself. Maybe she’s just not thinking straight - she’s smashed dozens of the things. 
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froms8nsashes · 6 months
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when will hiveswap be finished i have no clue
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My summary of Homestuck as I've read it so far
Act 1: It's John Egbert's birthday, and he SUCKS at using his sylladex. His dad bakes WAY too many cakes. He pesters his chums. A meteor falls, and the game begins.
Act 2: Dave joins the party! He's a cringefail rapper, and his brother is """"ironically"""" obsessed with puppets. Imps show up, and John is too busy resisting the narrator to fight them so Rose has to bash them with a refrigerator. She loses signal and must confront her mother to get online again. There is a raging fire outside her house. John meets his grandma who is possessed by a sprite? There's also this Wayward Vagabond that likes playing mayor. Its cylander flies away. I have no idea how it fits in with the main story. Dave fights his brother (I think??? contextually it makes sense, but it's not confirmed). John has to fight these giant imps with his spring hammer without Rose.
Act 3 So Far: Jade Harley is willing to snort like a pig and fertilize her plants. She is a furry who doesn't know it. She has way too many interests. She is psychic. She is easily my favorite character.
Right now, I am on page 877.
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pesterloglog · 2 months
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Sollux Captor, John Egbert
Page 447-454
SOLLUX: eating a sandwich.
JOHN: what? no, i mean, what are you doing HERE in the meteor?
SOLLUX: i live here.
SOLLUX: its like im fated t0 wind up back at this idi0tic r0ck every c0uple 0f sweeps.
JOHN: i’m... sorry?
JOHN: ...
SOLLUX: real mess y0uve made 0f things 0ut there.
JOHN: yeah, well... we’re trying to fix that now! which is why I need to find my friends!
SOLLUX: kind 0f fucked up y0u guys let this happen t0 begin with.
JOHN: soooo anyway, on the topic of you living here...
JOHN: does roxy know about this???
SOLLUX: why w0uldnt she?
JOHN: huh.
JOHN: umm... how do you know her?
SOLLUX: wh0 d0 y0u think h00ked me up with these sick ass shades and gave me all these ape games.
JOHN: okay, that kind of makes sense, i guess.
JOHN: ...
JOHN: are you guys... close?
SOLLUX: wh0. me and r0xy? i guess. we squad up a c0uple times a week.
SOLLUX: why d0 y0u care?
SOLLUX: y0u w0rried im m0ving in 0n y0ur ex?
JOHN: ...hmm.
SOLLUX: ...
JOHN: hm. hmm. hm.
JOHN: hm? HMMMM.
SOLLUX: what is g0ing 0n here.
JOHN: sorry, i had an answer but then i started actually considering it.
JOHN: am i jealous?
JOHN: hmmm...
SOLLUX: if i tell y0u straight up n0 we arent h00king up will y0u st0p?
JOHN: ...maybe?
SOLLUX: g0ddammit.
SOLLUX: listen.
SOLLUX: c0ming fr0m s0me0ne wh0 has shared breathing space with y0u 0nly 0n 0ccasi0n.
SOLLUX: its 0bvi0us t0 me y0u're n0t supp0sed t0 be the thinking guy.
JOHN: we’ve met before?
SOLLUX: ...
JOHN: ??????
SOLLUX: sigh.
SOLLUX: pirate ship. d0uble eye-patches. girlfriend ascensi0n.
JOHN: :0!
JOHN: double eye patches!
JOHN: i remember you now, you were at mystery jade’s funeral too!
SOLLUX: sure.
JOHN: sorry for not recognizing you.
JOHN: the eye patches are pretty distracting!
JOHN: like every time i see them i have to stop and think...
JOHN: wow... that looks really really stupid!
SOLLUX: yeah.
JOHN: are you still hanging out with that creepy alive girl?
SOLLUX:
SOLLUX: 0n a spiritual level.
JOHN: cool!
JOHN: is ... she also dating roxy?
SOLLUX: what?
SOLLUX: idk.
SOLLUX: i d0nt make it my business t0 keep tabs 0n that.
SOLLUX: im busy.
JOHN: you’re gaming!
SOLLUX: im fucking gaming.
SOLLUX: speaking 0f which...
JOHN: so what were you guys up to before this?
SOLLUX: (what the fuck)
SOLLUX: is there a prer0gative here.
SOLLUX: are y0u spades baiting me right n0w?
JOHN: honestly i don’t know what that means.
JOHN: i suppose...
JOHN: how do i say this...
JOHN: contextually!
JOHN: i always find myself going to a lot of places and meeting all these people but.
JOHN: most of it never matters to me until i’m not doing anything at all.
JOHN: last time that happened it was for ten years!
JOHN: and it only changed because i started talking to people again.
SOLLUX: (i did this t0 myself why did i ask)
JOHN: i guess in gamer terms it's the same as screwing yourself over by not checking every non playable character dialogue box.
JOHN: any one of them could have the clues you need.
SOLLUX:
JOHN: sooooo...
SOLLUX:
JOHN: come on!
SOLLUX: c0me 0n! :B
SOLLUX: die.
JOHN: aw, don’t be like that dude.
JOHN: i promise no more questions after this.
JOHN: do you not want to because it just ...isn't important?
SOLLUX: excuse me.
SOLLUX: my vestigial digits get m0re imp0rtant shit d0ne 0n wednesday nights than y0ur ill dressed b0dy has d0ne y0ur entire life cycle.
SOLLUX: but im n0t g0ing t0 g0 int0 all that because 1. i d0nt kn0w y0u and 2. i d0 n0t respect y0u.
SOLLUX: itll 0nly make y0u feel bad anyways.
JOHN: why would it make me feel bad?
SOLLUX: i can smell it 0n y0u man.
SOLLUX: y0u stink.
JOHN: i stink?
SOLLUX: yeah.
SOLLUX: y0u smell like a guy.
SOLLUX: wh0se never had any bitches.
JOHN: what!
JOHN: i have a son! i have a house full of pictures with him!
JOHN: that is physical proof i have had “bitches” thank you!
SOLLUX: as s0me0ne wh0 has been friends with every w0man y0u are attempting t0 categ0rize int0 this
SOLLUX: i can assure y0u, they were n0t y0ur bitches.
SOLLUX: y0u were theirs.
JOHN: i
JOHN: i was the bitches?
SOLLUX: this was the missing puzzle piece r0xys ex.
SOLLUX: y0ur arc is 0ver.
SOLLUX: y0u can g0 h0me n0w.
JOHN: my home burned down.
SOLLUX: sad.
SOLLUX: y0u kn0w what is tragic th0ugh?
SOLLUX: i have n0t been able t0 play this game the wh0le time because s0me0ne was talking 0ver the s0und.
JOHN: oh!
JOHN: sorry : (
SOLLUX: w0rds d0nt mean much.
SOLLUX: 0nly acti0ns.
JOHN: well, i suppose i left the vriskas waiting long enough...
JOHN: see you eye patches...
SOLLUX: n0t wearing them.
JOHN: or not who knows!
SOLLUX: WAIT.
JOHN: !
SOLLUX: change my game f0r me.
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nebulousboops · 18 days
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so uh. Happy 4/13. I caved and started reading Homestuck. More accurately I watched NezumiVA's live read. Enjoying this web comic has been the most embarrassing experience of my life
Anyway, I hear that John's dad and Rose's mom get together at one point?? So here's how I imagine that goes
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trollhatsunemiku · 4 months
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So The Liveblog Begins...
a bit of background first !
My name is Rafa, and I'll be mostly running this as Milk reads Homestuck to protect them from possible spoilers and bc i am the tumblr user here, they use twitter more (why,, valid, but it always gives me psychic damage lmao)
Milk has already started a bit, they're on page 485 (homestuck page numbers, not the og mspa page count) and have a Bit of background knowledge on characters they've seen unavoidably bc they are all my blorbos and i love them and can't shut up,,, and they have been spoiled a bit on some stuff that Was avoidable but i talk about homestuck too much and show them animatics and stuff i get excited about Oops,,, but i have tried to stop that now that they're reading lmao
anywayyy idrk what format this will take, when it will start, or how long it may last :o welcome along for the ride !!
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rvs-junk-shop · 3 months
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Finally reading Problem Sleuth this shits BANGER
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homestuck-book-club · 9 months
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Namco High
Our schedule for starting Namco High starting tomorrow (we are taking a day off on the 29th for our one year anniversary celebrations) 27th July - Davesprite route 28th July - Jane route
30th July- Terezi route
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