#honestly making jokes that someone is ‘’cis for now’’ is really creepy and uncomfortable

[stargulch-archive]

Also Cato I feel weird saying this to someone because I haven’t told anyone but myself yet but I just finally figured out I’m a trans guy? I don’t think I ever really understood what being trans meant but a few days ago it finally Clicked. I was kinda scared (but also relieved?) at first but then (and I know this sounds kinda weird) I started thinking about how you’re such a role model for me and it wasn’t so scary anymore?? 🐋 (1/2)

Anonymous said: and yeah. I know it’s all “don’t see someone on the Internet as a role model because you don’t truly know them” and yeah I guess I don’t know you like a best friend does but you just seem so open and kind and that’s something I’ve always wanted to be. And to see someone who’s going through something similar to me still be kind and a Genuine Person, makes me have hope for discovering the rest of my future. Sorry if this was creepy or weird! But I just wanted to say thank you 💓🐋 (2/2)

ok. so. i saw this ask when you originally sent it last night and dude i am not joking when i said i literally started bawling. like, it was fully on ugly crying. i had to message my best friend and sob to her about it because i literally was just in Shock.

first off, let me say, i am SO proud of you for coming to terms with this fact about yourself. i understand first-hand that it’s not an easy thing to do (i mean, i knew i wasn’t cis for 6 years and only two years ago i actually let myself ID as trans and then one year ago i finally was like “okay FINE i guess i can ID as a boy now”). the amount of bravery it takes to sit down and say “hey, this is who i think i am” is immeasurable. having the courage to not only understand who you are but to BE who you are is so incredibly amazing. i know i already said this but i am so proud of you. thank you so much for being you.

one of the most important things to me as a creator, for both fandom and original work, is being someone that others can look up to. and i don’t mean that in a narcissistic way or anything--i found out i was trans because of a content creator (and now dear friend) i deeply admired, and honestly? without seeing someone like that, i probably would’ve lived the rest of my life vaguely uncomfortable as a cis girl and died at the elderly age of 45 being vaguely happy. the fact that i had someone who i could relate to doing things that i wanted to do made it so much easier to accept the fact that i wasn’t who i thought i was going to be, and that it’s okay for things like that to happen.

all i’ve ever wanted in life was to create or be something that impacted others. and like, to anyone else reading this, they’re probably going to be like “oh, wow, okay, cato is being melodramatic again” but like. whatever. this is a big moment?? the amount of joy that i feel for you is overwhelming. the fact that i could be someone you look up to (or, like, Sort Of Look Up To) is just so baffling to me because like. i’m genuinely kind of lame and i might act like Hot Shit on here but i mean. i write voltron fanfiction soooo jokes on you, whale anon, your role model is a loser. so, uh. this is a longwinded way to say that these asks genuinely made me the happiest person in the world, second to you (because holy shit dude, you’re a dude. congrats man) and i think they sort of completed my life goal? so like. thank you for that. i love you.

if you ever want to talk about stuff, whether it's just like. trans stuff or random things in general, you can ALWAYS send an ask (on anon or off) and if there’s a chance we’re mutuals you can always hit me up with a DM and i’ll probably cry all over again. also if we aren’t mutuals...what are we doing. let me follow u.

ANYWAY.

tl;dr: i am so proud of you, i love you, & i will die for you. thank you for existing.

#🐋 anon #anonymous #answered

[ginevraturco]

SCARF MEMORY  - Commenti.

you're walking down the street. on my way home from a concert.

keep walking

Scelgo concert per conoscere di più sul contest in cui mi trovo.

on my way home from a sigur rós concert.

Scelgo concert. Ho la possibilità di avere più informazioni riguardanti il concerto.

on my way home from a sigur rós concert. seriously amazing, they played popplagið last and just drew out the climax forever and wow.

Scelgo wow. ricevo sempre più informazioni.

but there was a kind of uncomfortable moment half way through that made me feel a bit alienated.

Scelgo alienated. Comincio a conoscere e capire le sensazioni ed emozioni del mio personaggio.

they started playing a song from their uninspired fourth album and the audience's response was an order of magnitude greater than for anything else in the concert. this really confused me, they'd just played some incredible renditions of some incredible pieces and people clapped a bit but then they start up on this honestly quite dull one and suddenly the crowd goes wild, it's clear that the majority of people present are way more interested in this.

Keep walking.

Scelgo keep walking. Credo di aver ricevuto abbastanza informazioni da mandare avanti la storia con un azione.

still walking down the street it's this busy high street with clothes shops and holland and barrets and stuff. ads everywhere. anyway there are other people walking on this street too.

Scelgo ads everywhere, voglio sapere cosa vede nell’ambiente, in che tipo di città si trova.

it's this busy high street with clothes shops and holland and barrets and stuff. ads everywhere (memetic hazard).

Scelgo memetic hazard, voglio sapere di più.

it's this busy high street with clothes shops and holland and barrets and stuff. ads everywhere (sometimes i panic in environments like this, the amount of attempted brainwashing going on is really creepy, but for now it's okay i'm just ignoring it). anyway there are other people walking on this street too.

Ora conosco altre parti del carattere del mio personaggio. Non si sente a suo agio nei contesti attuali ed i metodi di marketing. Scelgo other people per mandare avanti la storia.

anyway there are some men in suits, a couple holding hands, a group of teenage girls, a homeless guy, an older woman walking a dog AND HEY SOME OTHER PEOPLE TOO I'M NOT GOING TO LIST THEM ALL ALRIGHT walking on this street too.

Scelgo a couple holding hands, voglio sapere cosa pensa dell’amore.

….a couple dressed warmly for the winter: long coat, scarf, gloves, a group of teenage girls, a homeless guy.....

Non ho avuto le informazioni che cercavo ma ora so che è inverno. Scelgo winter.

…a couple dressed warmly for the cold northern winter, which i have a hard time dealing with having grown up in a temperate subtropical climate, scarf, gloves, a group of teenage girls, a homeless guy, an older woman…

Ci troviamo a nord, so che il mio personaggio è cresciuto in zone subtropicali. Scelgo homeless guy.

…scarf, gloves, a group of teenage girls, (look away if it makes you uncomfortable), an older woman…

Ho ricevuto solo ostilità. Scelgo scarf.

i've seen a lot of scarves in this style this winter, colourful lines longitudinally, popular i guess.

Il mio personaggio è un ottimo osservatore. Scelgo colourful.

…not as colourful as my scarf lines longitudinally, popular i guess.

Il mio personaggio è leggermente vanitoso. Voglio saperne di più. Scelgo my scarf.

…not as colourful as my scarf, which i lost a bit over a year ago…

Scelgo i lost.

you're sitting on a bus, talking with a couple of friends who've come to visit. just met up with them at the bus station on your way back from london. you grabbed a few bags of shopping before the bus came so you'll be able to feed everyone. it's really warm on the bus. *foto del ragazzo con la sciarpa*

è la storia di come ha perso la sciarpa, a Londra. Scelgo London per saperne di più, credo che scegliere Warm mi porterebbe subito alla fine della descrizione.

…from an event in london, where you received an award. ….

Scelgo you received an award.

…where you received a joke award. you ….

Mi ero illusa che il mio personaggio avesse vinto qualche premio importante.

Continuo a scegliere you recived a joke award.

…where you, not being taken seriously enough to be considered for the real awards, received a joke award. …

Non è più di mio interesse, cerco di mandare avanti la storia scegliendo Warm.

it's really a bit too warm on the bus.

Suppongo che si stia per togliere la sciarpa e la dimentichi sul bus. Scelgo too warm.

it's really a bit too warmly heated (this is something they do here in the uk, every time you go inside somewhere in winter you're hit with a blast of hot air and since you were dressed appropriately for the climate outside it's really uncomfortable, you're faced with the choice of sweltering in your clothes or taking everything off and having to carry it around) on the bus.

Continuo a pensare che la sciarpa l’abbia dimenticata a bordo, ma sento che il continuo potrebbe stupirmi. Scelgo taking everything off.

you remove your hat, scarf, gloves and jacket and put them on the set next to you with the shopping bags.

look out the window

talk wait

Compio l’azione che più si avvicina a quello che farei io. Scelgo talk.

look out the window you catch up with your friends, one of them is getting a job overseas. wait

Non so se l’amico potrebbe essere rilevante per la storia ma voglio sapere comunque come va. Scelgo getting a job overseas.

you catch up with your friends, one of them is getting a job overseas so they'll be living apart for a bit, which is always kind of tough, you hope it ends up working out okay for them.

wait

Ora so che il mio personaggio è altruista , pensa prima al bene degli amici piuttosto che al fatto che si vedranno di meno. scelgo Wait.

bus reaches the stop finally. better take all your stuff. take: hat gloves scarf backpack bag of food okay lets go

Quindi ha preso la sciarpa dal bus. Voglio andare avanti, scelgo lets go.

you're sitting on a different bus, in a different time and place. how much of life is spent moving from one place to another?

Ho solo una scelta. La seleziono. è un grande pensatore il mio personaggio.

it doesn't matter, it doesn't have to be wasted time, you can read a book, knit something, think deeply, look out at the view, talk to friends. maybe in the future these things will have internet connections too!

Scelgo sempre quello che farei io, talk to friends.

… you're talking to your friends right now - several of you from school have the same commute to university...

Acquisisco informazioni sull’istruzione del mio personaggio. Scelgo university.

… look out at the view to university, your lives are heading in different directions, in a few years you'll be living in different countries, but for now every morning you get to have the old gang back together.

So che un po’ gli dispiace perdere gli amici, ma non sembra pesargli tanto. potrebbe essere uno solitario. scelgo view perché da quel che ho capito il mio personaggio preferisce osservare.

you can read a book...  …look out at the ocean..

Oceano? Essendo partito da Londra può voler dire solo che si trova su un treno sulla costa ovest della Gran Bretagna. Scelgo read a book.

…(unless you get travelsick, i didn't used to but i often do now on buses, trains are fine), knit something...

Scelgo knit something.

.. (i don't know how to knit)..

Mi sembrava strano sapesse farlo. Scelgo Knit e poi scelgo Learn.

..why don't you learn? - well i guess i could - i'll show you how! just get some wool and needles - OKAY I WILL)..

Il mio personaggio mi appare un po’ duro con se stesso, scelgo okay i will.

every time i see someone with a colourful scarf it catches my eye. sometimes i have to look closely, to make sure it's not mine. i have this fantasy. (it's never mine.)

Forse è un po’ possessivo. Scelgo never.

for some reason we're talking about scarves. i ask HAVE YOU SEEN MY SCARF? they haven't.

Si, credo che sia decisamente vanitoso. Scelgo they haven’t.

i'll show it to them! i go downstairs to get it. it's not there. i search the house, turn it upside down. it's not there.

Arriva al punto da voler davvero far vedere la sua sciarpa per vantarsene, spero che per lui almeno abbia un altro significato oltre alla sua bellezza. Scelgo it’s not there.

can you check in your room? i didn't want to go in but i've looked everywhere else and maybe when i was carrying in the shopping and you were carrying in your bags maybe it got mixed in somehow. it's not there.

Sento che ‘’it’s not there’’ sarà la mia prossima ed unica scelta per qualche turno. Il mio personaggio non sembra disposto ad ammettere di averla realmente persa. Scelgo it’s not there.

she casts it on for me. for the next couple of months, this is what i do on my long bus journeys: i knit. it's relaxing. sometimes i do it in lectures too. eventually i figure it's long enough, work out how to finish it, and there we go. scarf.

Scelgo scarf.

i needed a new scarf pretty soon in that weather. got one in the tartan of my ancestors. i'm wearing it right now. it keeps my neck warm. BAD END

Ho ottenuto un finale negativo, pensavo di aver ricevuto informazioni sufficienti da far avere un bel finale alla storia (sempre che ce ne sia uno). Non sono riuscita a sapere cosa ci fosse di così tanto speciale nella sciarpa.

-Commento finale-

Non penso esista una good end, la maggior parte dei percorsi da me intrapresi erano “Vicoli ciechi”. Andando avanti era sempre solo una la scelta che mi permetteva di andare avanti con la storia e non solo aggiungere descrizioni ed informazioni. Penso che il gioco racconti la vera storia della perdita della sciarpa e non ci siano di conseguenza finali diversi da quello che è realmente accaduto.