#how people treated me because of that. all bc i said i saw qprs as shipping and wanted people to think more critically | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dyketubbo · 9 months

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take this w/ a grain of salt bc I'm a pretty romance neutral/positive aroace but man the qjaiden discourse is so ??? On like, both sides. because yes, you can ship qjaiden, she's aroace, some aroace people can and enjoy being in relationships, and yes, cc!jaiden is aroace and as far as we know she has no interest in romantic relationships at all. but the way people have been repeating, constantly, "aroace people CAN be in relationships!" It just feels so much like, "how dare you want the aroace character to be completely uninvolved with romance. that's a horrible stereotype" and it's like no??? some people are completely averse to having any romantic relationship at all. why is it bad people are headcanoning q!jaiden like that? Why are people saying "characters can be shipped outside of their cc sexualities" like? Yes??? and I know a lot of people have been assuming about her preferences which is the real problem. if jaiden wants to rp a romantic relationship then she can, because she knows what she's comfortable with. if she doesn't, that's great too. Acting like not wanting to ship her with anyone is somehow arophobic, or misogynist, or whatever is just?? and then the cop-out of "ok but qpr" in this fandom esp is like. with the exception of parrotduo, I think this fandom is really... weird about qprs? Like, ship what you want but some ppl treat qprs as "romantic relationship... LITE" like qpps can act romantic but some don't? and qprs aren't just a "not shipping" thing either. like "I'm not shipping them, it's a qpr" and like technically? but if someone just doesn't want anyone to have a romantic relationship or a QPR with someone then it's like "but soulmates/everyone feels love/everyone's family" like it's so determined to put a label on every relationship. like THIS is romantic, THIS is queerplatonic, THIS is familial, and just a weird obsession with relationship dynamics. obviously my examples aren't EVERYONE, I've seen people who are great with this and I can't see every opinion but I think people just need to be more normal about people who are apathetic/averse to relationships as a whole in media

YES YES EXACTLY

anon please know every word you said here is literally what ive been saying this whole time and its fucking CRAZY how few people get it. its about how people need to fucking justify being aroace and especially being aromantic. so many people both in and out of our community expect us to defend ourselves, to defend the ways so many of us refuse to engage in what is expected of people. we must still want some sort of intimacy, and sometimes it still isnt enough. even when qjaiden already has someone she considers a partner in a nontraditional matter with roier still you get people who just wont settle with letting aroace people and characters just.. not engage with amatonormativity. even aroallo people are told theyre disgusting and weird BY OTHER ASPEC PEOPLE for experiencing sexual attraction without the romance and its awful!!

and like i said at some point it stops even really being about the characters because im fully aware that qsmp is a media thats very focused on defined relationships. its one big family and theres a whole web of people in romantic and sexual and queerplatonic and simply platonic relationships alike and i wont fault the ccs for having fun because uh. its their characters. theyre not at fault for people being weird about them

but never are people allowed to just Be. i get judged for wanting qprs to be tagged as shipping, to still not want to see characters making out or being intimate just because it isnt romantic. actively harassed for it, even! because people didnt want to acknowledge such, because people got so hung up on the fact that i mentioned cc boundaries and wanting people to recognize kristin that they tunneled in on all that and completely left any genuine discussion in the dust, even actively smearing my name for it to the point where i saw people who were agreeing with me thinking that they were dissenting and they were right while i was wrong as if we werent on the same side

at that point.. its not actually about the characters, really, is it? and its not actually about the characters or boundaries here either. because even when i tried to come up with defenses so i wouldnt be mocked and not taken seriously for simply saying "this still touches on repulsion. i wish people saw qprs as shipping especially when theyre actively depicting them as intimate. i wish people recognized that queerplatonic and platonic are two different things. (isnt it weird, how it had to be marriage, how two friends couldnt care about each other more than nearly anyone else and still simply be friends, nothing else? isnt it weird how it just replaces amatonormative romance with something else, because you arent allowed to be close unless youre something other than "just friends"?)"....

people still got upset. people still were awful about it. to me, to those who stood by me, to the subject as a whole. and i wouldnt be surprised if theres people out there who are like how i was, feeling like they have to justify being uncomfortable. feeling like they have to justify being unapologetically aromantic and romance repulsed and nonpartnering and whatever else. feeling like they have to justify wanting qjaiden's aroaceness to be recognized as a reason to just let her be, no romance required.

at some point the constant chant of "aroace people can still love! aro people can still get into relationships!" stops being validation and starts going from "can" into "do" into "must". and then we're back at the beginning, and all the naughty naughty aspecs who still deviate from the norm fall right back into the cracks. because never, never, are you allowed to just exist if it isnt in a way that all the people on all these sites that still prattle on about how "love is what makes us human!" can approve of

#angel answers #not to start prattling on about the bane of replacing romance in amatonormativity with Still Needing To Be Intimate With Someone Somehow #but also im gonna im gonna be a mean aro about this because its tiring. lol

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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mkay. ive woken up, it doesnt seem like theres any new developments, so. post explaining what the hells been going on about the ae/emeraldduo qpr discourse ig woo. this is going to be from my perspective, because i am one person. shocker. anyways,

basic summary: i made a post saying that because c!kristin is canon and philza and techno have boundaries against shipping, i believed that maybe there should be a genuine effort to chill out with putting c!philza and c!technoblade in a qpr or platonic marriage, as c!philza being married to c!kristin is based off the irl marriage and c!philza and c!technos friend dynamic is based off the ccs dynamic even outside of the dream smp (such as, of course, the antarctic empire being a smpearth thing). i also said this because i feel like theres a genuine problem in the fandom with how it treats kristin, not only in fanart (making her skinny and white), but also just. in general, overshadowing her with the idea of emeraldduo being married, shit like that, and it irked me esp bc shes a woc while philza and techno are white men.

people get pissed at me, both to my face and behind my back, and i get insulted, called stupid, arophobic, anti-polyam, told i dont understand friendship and that i dont have friends. i joined a server just to wake up and find myself banned and blocked with no explanation, left to assume that i was talked about behind my back while i was unable to defend myself. out of all the people who disagreed with me, one person. one. person. was nice to me and didnt call me arophobic, actually giving me constructive criticism and a chance to elaborate. one. i finally start to feel better two days after the fact, consulting people outside the fandom to get second opinions and getting happy when people agreed with me and even gave insight to things i didnt consider, and what do i get?

someone rbed to tell me "not to go on twitter" because people were talking about me, and informing me that there was a group chat dedicated to "talking about how wrong [i am]". what the rest of the post said, i dont remember, because the person seems to have me blocked and i fucking panicked after being told theres literally an entire group of people talking about me on twitter- of which, yknow. is known for harassing people and even once had a black girl doxxed?? not to mention that the person who mocked me for supposedly not having friends did so when i said to leave me alone, and ive said publicly for people to leave me alone consistently, and. well, insulting and going after someone, or even talking about them behind their back, when they said to leave them alone is in fact harassment, by definition.

im accused of not listening to philza, with the only clip being given to me of him talking about c!emeraldduo being like "the platonic version of achilles and patroclus", as if platonic = queerplatonic. yesterday was the first time i was given a clip of phil talking about qprs specifically, given to me by someone who didnt evem disagree with me anyways, again showing the people disagreeing with me were barely actually willing to cooperate with me. i have. complicated feelings on the clip (mainly with how its worded as just headcanons and only given the definition of "platonic life partners" which.. hm.), but this post isnt about that.

regardless, i vent to my friends, because i was having a delusional breakdown, and one makes a post saying they didnt want to interact with the fandom after people went after me. they inform me that both people who insulted me before and others reblogged from their post to again assert that im arophobic, claim that no one was talking about me outside of people publicly talking about how "arophobic" i am (which.. is people talking about me), claim that i called people racist and sexist (i didnt?? i dont think anyones racist and sexist, not even for what i brought up concerning the fandoms treatment of kristin, it gives me a bad taste in my mouth, but i would never call anyone racist or sexist for it [outside of the whitewashing but thats a different issue from the qpr discussion]), and then they were sent anon hate, one even asserting that they were arophobic and talking over minority groups and therefore deserved to be in their bad home situation. outside of their post being in the dream smp tag, its hard to believe that people just. normally found their post. unless they were going through the recent posts in the dream smp tag (which i dont feel is the case), it is.. concerning that they found my friend trying to defend me so quickly and immediately decided to continue to talk about me behind my back and even insult them as well.

so.. yknow, not great in asserting that there arent people tracking me somehow, which is incredibly triggering and paranoia inducing.

either way, in the end, if people disagree with me about the situation, i dont care, i cant stop them, but i just want people to stop being fucking pricks about it. i want people to stop being pissy at me and about me, i want people to stop insulting me and telling me and telling people i interact with that im arophobic when im not. i want people to stop pretending to care when they tell me to take a break when theyre the fucking reasons i have to take a break. i want people to stop being condescending to me, to stop talking about me, to stop acting like theyre superior while fucking insulting me.

i just wanted to bring up an issue about the lack of respect kristin gets, and people as always turned it into something about philza and technoblades relationship when that was literally the behavior that i was complaining about. i hate that me wanting to talk about how kristin and her marriage to phil is treated turned into me having several breakdowns in one day because i kept getting worse and worse news about how people were treating me. i hate that i did take breaks, that i actively distracted myself, went outside, took care of my pets, took care of myself, talked to my friends, and yet people just acted condescending and went all "if you cant handle criticism then leave :/".

what the fuck is wrong with you people? why is it that this fandom actively defaults to harassment and using ccs against fans when an issue arises? and i fucking hate that this is my first goddamn actual interaction with aeduo fans. im genuinely terrified of aeduo fans now if this is how they react to problems. fuck everyone who talked about me behind my back, fuck everyone who acted condescending towards me, fuck everyone who called me arophobic or anti-polyam or whatever the hell they had up their sleeves, fuck every single grown ass adult who saw a teenager have a fucking breakdown over the shit they did and said and decided to continue. fuck everyone who didnt even bother to have a goddamn level conversation with me before insulting me and attempting to tell others that im arophobic and other shit like that.

this shit happened because of two paragraphs. i said two goddamn paragraphs about a personal issue with the fandom i had and now ive genuinely been pushed almost to the point of relapsing. i dont give a shit if people think i have a victim complex, i just want people to leave. me. alone. its the fucking least you could do. oh, and go fuck yourself. if you genuinely thought id be apologizing after that shit, fuck you. i shouldnt have to be the better person with this shit, i shouldnt be pushed to choking on my own fucking tears because people wont let it fucking be. im not goddamn apologizing after three days of getting insulted and harassed and talked about behind my back for a fucking shipping issue. piss off.

#long post #dsmp #negative #fandom critical #discourse #i dont care if i look immature for this. i deserve the fucking option to be immature after this shit #im tired of crying over this.#mask mews #harassment tw #ask to tag

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