#i could always just. move. but.

[stuckinapril]

One thing I’ve noticed about people in or entering their 30s is they don’t make as many compromises anymore. If someone doesn’t meet them halfway, is not up to standard, is just not where they’re needed to be, they’re just like “ok cool” and they move on from the person. Which is not to say they’re less empathetic or understanding, but more that they have learned that time is their most prized possession and they’re not willing to make massive compromises on it. They are not obsessed w the idea of fixing someone (bc the concept of fixing a person doesn’t really exist). They simply move on to someone who is up to par. I want that. I want to always move w the awareness that time is my most priceless belonging and I can never buy it back. Ever. So I have to use it wisely

#not just when it comes to ppl but w opportunities too! #w not wasting your energy on negativity #w always seeing the big picture etc etc #i just want to always move from a place of ‘is this expending time that could be best spent elsewhere?’ #just a note 2 self while I navigate how to spend my time #which includes dedicated studying & reading more consistently & moving my body & enjoying nature & telling someone I love them <3 #we will be alright #text

[egophiliac]

@enderfore replied to your post “What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333”:

Chenya pic where???? I can barely see anything in that room there so much going on, rooks such a lil freak (affectionatr)

​he's under the row of flags on Neige's side of the room, next to the big Neige poster with the yellow background (look just to the right of the hand holding the apple)! he's REAL little; once you know he's there you can kind of see him in-game, but I only noticed him in the first place because I took a screenshot and was having fun zooming in on all the details!

I think that's either Hop or Snick and Dominic on either side of Neige, but if the others are meant to be anyone in particular I don't recognize 'em. though I do love all the absolutely terrifying implications of Rook having this. was this some kind of officially-published merchandise (and if so, why) or did Rook like...go hunting through the RSA trash to find this random student lineup just because it included Neige, and has had it hanging proudly on the wall ever since. (I mean, he definitely did do this, I don't know why I'm asking. the real question is why he hasn't cut out little pictures of his own face and stuck them over everyone else's yet.)

there is seriously SO MUCH in this room. how did Rook manage to keep this hidden for three years. also, somebody give this background artist a raise immediately.

#screenshot #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers #this just in: the savanaboys are canonically very respectful of each other's privacy and right to their own personal space #the other option is that no one actually wants to see why rook is always so desperate to keep people out of his room #but these are not mutually exclusive! leona respects your boundaries through genuinely not giving a shit. ⭐️ #god. rook's room really was somehow exactly what i expected but also so much more than i could have ever imagined. #the literal divide down the center including his BEDSHEETS AND PILLOW #do you think rook makes sure to sleep precisely down to the mm in the center of his bed each night what am i saying of course he does #he has also probably trained his eyes to move independently so he can look at both of the hanging posters above his bed at once #savanarook really was such a treasure. i shall miss him. #(i have also decided based on basically nothing that because there's a banner with vil's unique magic name on it) #(and the corresponding banner for neige says '[someday my] prince will come') #(that i'm going to headcanon this as being neige's unique magic. i must know what it does. the possibilities are TANTALIZING)

[egglands-worst]

tonight was Very Beautiful

#went outta town and away from light pollution for this and everything #(though i found out later that the photo i took from my apartment balcony #you could actually very faintly see the aurora in it #couldn't see it with the naked eye in town tho) #photography #aurora borealis #might touch these up eventually I'm just happy to See them they're so pretty #it was so pretty. ohhhh my gosh #i always thought those videos of them were like #sped up or something for the effect. NO they are not they really do just move as fast as that #and there were points the ribbons were flashing and pulsing in brightness it was so cool #AND. NOT ONLY THAT. but i ALSO saw a handful of shooting stars!!!!

[tavina-writes]

I started writing yet another tag essay in the notes of a different post where OP posited that the reason established relationships that are rock solid or functional are hard to write and find in fiction because there's missing tension due to the lack of will they won't they, and how one way to solve this in a story is to make the characters insane about each other. (The post is here.)

And don't get me wrong! I like when characters are a little or a lot unhinged about each other! and I also like relationships that self destruct, tragedies that end badly, and all that jazz I enjoy these things a lot! They're good things!

But I'm thinking about relationship tension again and how like, okay yes sometimes we want our characters confess they're in love with each other and get together and sail off into a soft epilogue, etc. This too is love!

But I think fundamentally to deny the fact that two (or more) people can love each other deeply, be totally committed to each other, and yet still have difficulties and life problems to tackle together is an underexplored facet of romance. The mundane of this is where the real romance lies on our day to day as people, and I find this so...rarely? tackled in fiction?

Maybe this is because I'm ace, but I feel that there's a distinct? vibe to these sorts of mature and enduring romances where like, the love is there, the commitment is there, but we still have moments we need to work for it because that's life and we work for it because we find each other worth it.

What is more romantic than compromise with someone you care for deeply? What is more romantic than tackling problems together and trying to come to an agreement and sometimes not being able to but still having done your best and accepted the outcome anyway?

What is a long lasting relationship that isn't about give and take and growing together or coming apart? Aren't those stories interesting? How could any long lasting relationship where people are deeply in love with each other be boring when like, to BE in a relationship with someone for ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years and come out the other side of that saying 'you're the one, you're still the one, you've always been the one' is one of the most wild and rare type of relationships to have?

What sort of sacrifice and compromise and work it takes to build that sort of relationship, isn't that interesting? To persist despite moments of doubt and periods of despair and all the work it takes in mundanity? all the trials a relationship like that has to survive and has survived, isn't that still tension? isn't that still interesting?

Maybe it's just me that I find this more interesting than "will they? won't they?" Either they will or they won't but when I'm reading a romance they mostly will! But do they have what it takes to stay there? And if they do isn't that one of the most interesting things in the world to look at?

Isn't that also love?

#writing #idk I just think maybe we should have more of these types of stories #I find mundanity interesting #maybe it's just because my parents met each other at 18 and 19 respectively #and have since moved across the world #had three children #multiple medical scares #and made so many sacrifices and their life stories are SO interesting #and yet they've come out the other side each day still being like #'you're the one and you've always been' #that makes me feel like these sorts of love stories are perhaps one of the wildest types of romances that we could ever have #and I'd love to see it more in fiction

[voidlesscreator]

Haunted Doll AU.

If anyone has watched that Wizard of Oz movie where it's the prequel this'll make a lot more sense.

Instead of being one of those antique anabelle type dolls that are typically haunted, Danny is possessing a china doll instead- or a porcelain doll, kinda like this

So imagine Danny gets hurt by either the GIW or the Fenton dr duo and flees to the Infinite Realms, only for CW and Frostbite to suggest putting his ghost core in a movable container while his body heals. Normally Ghosts would probably just be able to switch up their body while their core heals and just reform their body after, but since Danny is a halfa his body will still be there but in a comatose state so it needs to stay under watch.

CW suggests a doll to put his core in and when they do, he is able to move and talk since his voice comes from his core and the doll is ball-jointed.

After getting used to the new body, Danny is sent back to Earth to wait for his body to heal fully, and accidentally takes a wrong turn and ends up in Gotham.

Cue one of the batfam finding a walking doll and taking it home after finding out that it's sentient and a ghost healing.

(Probably Damian during a patrol but it could be any of them.)

#dc x dp #danny is a doll #i read multiple posts where Danny moved as a doll without being seen #and just thought what if he could always do that? #boom china doll danny like those things from that one wizard of oz movie #the batfam are gonna be in for a surprise #damian would probably treat Danny like one of his beloved animals that are injured #tim is probably 2 minutes from passing out from either exhaustion or fear #because why is there a walking doll carrying fruits across the kitchentop with alfred?

[maggot-baggage]

Methinks its time to move back home actually

#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well #im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late #and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car #so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now #like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out #and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so #why not #plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly #i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and #I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks #but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them #mag.txt

[crunchchute]

Sam and Max if they were cool /j

#sam and max #crunchchute art #my art #somehow this shitposty art piece made me emotional while drawing #i miss highschool and my friends and just going on school trips and stuff listening to shitty scene music like botdf #and playing the songs on a phone close to our ears or sharing an earbud on the bus #and being fucking cringy and shit man i wish i experienced more of that #perhaps i wasted my teen years on stress and worrying so im dressing like this now to make up for it #i know you wont see this D and im sorry i was being awful to you sometimes but i liked teasing you as if you were my sibling #i really miss those times. and i know i could always reach out to you but you moved on and im still stuck so i wont. but im thinking about #you from time to time! and the little fun we had back in hs. i really felt like i could be myself when hanging out with you #and i thought about you making this piece. me as max u as sam that would fit lmao #<- hes getting sappy missing the idea of his friends 10 years ago that only exists in memories now because everyone except him grew up

[fromtheseventhhell]

I have a question for people who fervently argue that Arya has no potential for politics but think that Sansa will be one of the main political characters, and I'm asking this seriously.

If Arya learning multiple languages, how to tell + detect lies, how to rule her face so she doesn't reveal her emotions, being able to blend into different situations, thinking quick on her feet, knowing the importance of gathering information, being someone who makes friends wherever she goes, convincing a FM to help free Northern prisoners and participating in a coup, etc. don't make Arya capable of participating in politics...what exactly is it that you think Sansa will be doing as a political figure?

#arya stark #sansa stark #asoiaf #cause I would genuinely like someone to explain to me why people argue so passionately against Arya being a political character #to the point that they pretend there's zero overlap between what she's learning and what a 'political' character should know #I always see people reduce her to being a fighter and ignoring her other skills so it's obvious you think they could be useful so? #/politics/ is such a broad term too...there are so many different ways for a character to be political and I just don't understand #why people are so restrictive when thinking about how characters can occupy that space #this isn't a dig at Sansa this is me genuinely wondering what you guys think being political means and what she'll be doing #if you don't think Arya having any of these skills qualify her 😭 #Arya and Sansa can both be political characters it isn't an either or scenario #this isn't the show where only one person can be the poorly written so-called /smart one/ #I don't need any /no one says this!/ comments either...if you aren't someone who thinks like this then feel free to move on

[dirtytransmasc]

atwow hot take:

if jake had said his "son for a son" shit out loud and spider had heard him, he would have been so beyond pissed, he would be seeing red.

spider loved his little siblings so much, neteyam included, even after they grew apart. he loved them like they were his own blood and protected them like they were too (we see a lot more of them together in the comics, where spider is the big brother without a doubt). neteyam's death most certainly rocked him hard, even if he hasn't really been able to show it (how could he? he's already going through all the shit with his dad and the RDA and their nonsense, he can't grieve around neytiri, he's just so tired after it all. he doesn't have the room or the energy to grieve yet)

so if jake had the audacity to say that to/around spider not even a few hours after he watched his little brother get shot after coming to save him, after he stared at the bullet hole in his back, after he watched him take his last breaths, after he watched the light leave his eyes, after he watched his little brother die for him; if he said that while his little brother's body lay in a pool of his own blood not even ten feet away, not even cold yet, blood still clinging to his chest, the scent of it still filling the air: he would have lost his shit.

because the disrespect for his brother is wild.

jake was an active player in spider's neglect and abuse for the last 16 years, he let it happen, he helped it happen. he tried to send spider with the humans, tried to take him away from his siblings, from the forests, from eywa to live with his foster family that didn't love him (not to mention Nash was an asswipe of epic proportions) and the RDA of all people. he had referred to spider as a stray animal since he was little. he was the reason spiders life was hell.

and after all that, years and years of putting him in shit positions and allowing him to suffer the fate of being forever unloved and uncared for (by an adult authority figure, cause I love the kids, but they don't make up for the gap left by a parent), this is what it took for jake to care about him? his little brother had to die in front of him first? he had to be traded out to fill the space of a corpse, to fill in the gap left by his little brother's death?

in canon, spider was in deep in shock with nothing to break him from it, he wasn't in the place to really think about any of it, and I'm sure we're gonna see this anger in the coming movies, but if jake had said it out loud, that would have been enough to snap spider right out of it, and he would have given jake a piece of his mind, I just know it.

#he loves neteyam too much to let jake do that. to say that. he'd never allow it. #spider is such a good big brother. he loves his siblings too much. #if jake had said that to his face there would have been hell to pay. regardless of how out of it spider was with shock/grief/pure exhaustio #spider doesn't even care about the disrespect being done to him by that statement. he just cares about neteyam. #cause how could a father say that? how could he just move on. fill the gap with a “stray” as he puts it. take him in after all he'd done to #him? it wasn't fair #it wasn't fair to him and it most certainly wasn't fair to neteyam #I love spider. he deserves a family that loves him and wants him. he wants it. but this is not what either of us asked for. #that line has always rubbed me wrong. and it would have rubbed spi wrong too. I just know it. #I really hope we see spider express his rightful anger/disgust to this whole thing next movie #though I worry he will be too busy feeling guilty over everything and feeling like he just has to be grateful. but one can hope. #he deserves to be angry #and his dynamic with neteyam deserves to be explored. cause its a crime that it was ignored in the movie. #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #miles socorro #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #jake sully #I wanna punch that man so hard istg. I can't with him. I won't say I hate him. but lord have mercy I can't with him. #my baby boys deserved better #spider was neteyam's big brother. that's my agenda #we need to talk about them more

[lucalicatteart]

 sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~

#sculpture #snail #fantasy art #I have never sculpted or even drawn a snail before #so hopefully the anatomy is not incredibly off #(though if so.. I guess it could also just pass as further Strange Magical Mutations lol) #It doesn't show up as well in the photo but the shell has some irridescent eyeshadow on it so it kind of alternates a little warm #red and teal as you move it. #Made for an art contest on a game that I play lol (I wouldnt normally think to sculpt a snail on my own if it werent part of a #prompt) but I do kind of like the way it came out.. sort of.. #Perhaps a real creature that exists in Nanyevimi (my worldbuilding setting) in some capacity then.. hrmm #also in relevance to this blog i DO STILL WANT TO finish the story with the little adventurer... goursh I have just had so much going on.. #all of my little side projects like that have fallen away for so long. I really want his advneture to reach a tiny conclusion though #And shout out to that one person that always reblogged them and left nice comments in the tags also.. :'3 #Poll Adventures.... not over... simply was on temporary evil hiatus due to Me Feeling Sick Constantly All Summer and so on and so forth #aughhh.. woe and agonyyy *dramatically drops to my knees in the middle of a rain storm like some tragic movie scene #kneeling into the cold earth as i cradle the half-living bodies of all of my half-finished creative projects in my arms* #ANYWAY... lol..... erm.. snail time

[hotdrinks]

I do think they're well intentioned but those posts that are like "you have to start being nicer to freaks" and then go on to list the types of freaks they mean always make me laugh bc they still treat it like there's no question that there is something inherently wrong with those people. Like, "if you say you love freaks you have to mean even the sickest, most unlovable dregs of society such as *checks notes* furries, teenagers who like lemon demon, and fandom adults" you're still kinda pointing at a group of people and saying "sickos!!" But you're like. looking at them apologetically while you're doing it

#drinks talk tag #i listed those ppl bc thats always what ends up on those posts #but it could be anyone like i really just dont know if continuing to insist on a divide of freaks and not freaks #is the move

[spielzeugkaiser]

[First Part] - [second]

Baby (who still has no name) is warming up to Geralt, who also starts to connect some dots. (Like, I think he suspects that he's Jaskiers son, adopted or otherwise, but he won't even humor the idea that he could be the dad.) That being said - the kid is an angry teenager sometimes. Jaskier tried all he could as a single parent and they have a very loving relationship, but I also think they do argue quite a bit, and there is some tension.

And the more he gets to learn how Geralt truly is the weirder is gets, cause. He's a good guy? And either Jaskier is petty and was too dramatic and kept him from meeting his dad for nothing, or Geralt isn't a good guy AT ALL and has hurt Jaskier really bad, and he doesn't think Geralt has it in him, but some people (and especially alphas) get really weird and archaic around omegas? And he had to witness again and again, with how little respect his unbonded, single father of a bastard child was treated - is Geralt like that too? But Jaskier still only ever talked somewhat kindly about him. And from all he saw... he trusts Geralt. He's a quiet, but witty and honorable man. But is it fair to doubt the parent that was there for him, that raised him, that sacrificed so much for him? The poor kid is so conflicted.

#please tell me your headcanons and prompts about this 'verse it's just vibes so far and like 10% plot #geraskier #geralt of rivia #the witcher #ciri #omegaverse #geraskier lovechild #jaskier #i don't know where this came from #but I imagined the kid as quite sickly (which is ironic) - Geralt does not really remember that he was sick as a child all the time too #also I do think Jaskier can play the lute but it's no fun for his fingers and he switched to other stuff over the years #I'm quite sure that Jaskier kept a low profile after the Rience incident because he was TERRIFIED by the thought what could have happened #also I really wanted to look at this with a kind of more realistic lense when it comes to parentage #and Jaskier did all the things right where it counts #He's loving he's emotional open he communicates - but would Jaskier always be a reliable parent? a structured one? an easily available one? #I don't think so #professor Jaskier can work for hours on end and forget to get you on time from your play date so you have to awkwardly wait and #he forgets to cook and to wash and it's always messy and once he writes he writes and gets annoyed when interrupted #but he also tells bedtime stories and stays at your bedside when you're ill and plays with you when you moved AGAIN and have no friends yet #he's easily pulled into arguments but also knows how to apologise #but he lies again and again #and he tells heroic and brave and honourable stories about your dad but still has a chest with your unsend letters and looks so so sad #when you put another one in his hands #and he never tells you to stop but doesn't send them and you know your Papa would be too kind to ask you to stop #ALSO #I think the kid is old enough to understand some of the inherent consent issues that are rampant in omegaverse #and while I imagined that 'verse here a bit tuned down #I think that the kid has seen and heard some shit! and what if Jaskier in only talking kindly of Geralt to soften the blow for him and- #kid is 100% ready to break Geralts nose if it turned out that he forced himself on his pa #(which he did not ofc but nobody communicates here)

[rosiesriiveters]

Keep thinking of Rosie allowing everyone else to experience the trauma of war around him in any way they need to. Whether it be after listening to his crew member choke through the Munster story, reaching a hand out to comfort him, making sure the replacements are all settled and feel comfortable with him - establishing that he's someone who can be trusted with any issues - and listening to Crosby tell him he's scared he's becoming a monster and reassuring him, and yet refuses to give himself the same grace.

Thinking about how he doesn't tell Crosby about what he saw after he was shot down, what he witnessed in that camp. He's never really the one telling any stories in the series. He listens and watches, lets others say whatever they need to, all the while keeping his cards close to his chest.

Thinking about Rosie smiling while watching his crew and the other airmen enjoying themselves at the flak house, and yet not allowing himself the same enjoyment. Thinking about how the doctor at the flak house got Rosie to look after himself only when he framed it that looking after himself is looking after his crew.

Thinking about Rosie re-upping, choking slightly on his words as he explains he can't bare the thought of sending some rookie in his place to only get himself and his crew killed.

He won't give himself the grace or patience he deserves, but by god he'll take care of everyone around him.

#rosie rosenthal #masters of the air #robert rosenthal #rosie's love language is acts of service but his 'acts of service' are like. 'i will destroy the fascist regime for you' #like he doesn't judge others when they are upset/crying and yet!! will not let himself do the same #it's why i loved the doctor at the flak house... just figuring rosie out so well and taking the pieces rosie gives him and working out #what will resonate with rosie the best. and it was framing it so that rosie needs to look after his crew #which he WILL DO come hell or high water #i have to find the quote from the masters of the air book but at the very end rosie says the war wasn't over for him until he'd helped #prosecute some of the nazi's. that he could only move on from the war when he could see it through to the very end. his war was finally ove #and that just fits him SO WELL. #the horrors of war run deep but rosie rosenthal's love for his friends will always run deeper #these tags are so messy lmao just a jumble of thoughts #ch: rosie #tv: masters of the air #rosie mota

[moongothic]

If being weak is a "sin" in Crocodile's mind, then isn't a painful defeat and maybe even death rightful punishment for it? A punishment you deserve for your crime of "being weak"? That's an intriguing mindset from him because it makes me wonder how Crocodile might view his own past and the things he has gone through? I might not go as far as to say Crocodile "blames himself" for the things he's gone through, as he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who dwells on the past like that. But I do feel like Crocodile has accepted in his mind that things like losing his hand happened because he was weak, and it was his own fault. That he can not blame anyone else for what has happened to him. He fucked around and he found out.

It's just interesting because to some degree, One Piece thematically does agree with this sentiment, this is a world where the strong eat the weak. (One example at the top of my head; Luffy refusing Katakuri's apology when his sister intervened with their battle, saying he should've dodged the attack properly if he didn't want to get hit.) Chaka falling in this scene and being unable to stop Crocodile may lead to the deaths of so many more, including his loved ones, and if that comes to pass, it's is Chaka's own fault. For being too weak. But also Crocodile has twisted that idea; Crocodile is using his worldview here to justify himself and essentially saying he can do this (take over Alabasta and kill a million innocents doing so) and get away with it because he's powerful. When in reality "weakness is a sin" isn't about the survival of the fittest, but how this is a world where the strong are meant to protect the weak. (See: Luffy) (Also how Pell told Baby Vivi in that flashback about how he trains so he can protect the Royal Family; again, he he craves power not to oppress the weak but to protect them)

But, just to get back to Crocodile again, I feel like this worldview might also give us more insight as to how he acts in certain situations post-Alabasta. Like when we see Crocodile towards the end of Miss Goldenweek's cover story, both when he declines to escape from jail and in his Impel Down mugshot, Crocodile has a smile on his face. That really is the face of a man who has accepted his fate, is it not?

"Welp, this is what I get for losing to a child in flipflops"

Or when we see him come collect his debt from Buggy; Crocodile seemed quite relaxed and fully admitted he had assumed Buggy would've ran away before he even got there to collect his money. Of course, considdering his trust issues Crocodile would've been mentally prepared for Buggy skedaddling anyways, but the fact that he loaned the clown money to begin with while assuming he'd probably never get that money back-- like Crocodile knew that was going to happen and he just accepted it. And just rolled with it.

Of course, when things take an Unpleasant, Unexpected Turn, he will blow a fuse. Multiple, even.

Him angy

IDK man this is all just interesting to me

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #No I did not really have a proper thesis for this post #More just that like. IDK although I talk about Crocodile probably having a whole lot of Unresolved Trauma #I don't mean that in a ''he cries himself to sleep every night'' kinda way (doesn't seem like something he'd do anyways) #More in a ''shit changed the way he views the world forever in a negative way'' kinda way #Does that make sense? IDK #But yeah he does seem like he accepts what he has gone through and has moved on from it (taking 'important lessons' with him) #Sidenote I did check what he says in Japanese in this scene and the ''unforgivable'' was added by Viz here. Good localization #Also that does tie in nicely to how Crocodile always seems to have backup plans for his backup plans #How he seems to considder every potential thing that could go wrong and tries to account for them.

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

I appreciate Hori trying over and over to emphasize that Endeavor doesn't want or deserve forgiveness but I also hate how Rei says that everyone in the family is at fault for the dysfunction and trauma. Like...no, your children were literal children and you were repeatedly abused and sexually assaulted by Endeavor to the point that you had a psychotic break. There's one person at fault and it's the man with a flame beard and giant tits.

#i like endeavor from a meta perspective but hes a horrible person and deserves to hate himself as much as he does. #and again its great the Hori has explicitly had Enji say he doesnt want or expect forgiveness from his family #and as infuriating as it is that hes sympathized with by a lot of readers and even other characters #if it IS intentional it's an interesting look at how abuse is viewed in Japan and other collectivist cultures #victims who dont react the right way are treated and viewed poorly while abusers who try to Move On are praised for doing the mature thing #maybe just moving on isnt always the right answer and should stop being pushed as the noble thing to do #.bnha #sloot bitches about things #i like endeavor as a character and for smut fodder but irl that man would NEED to be beaten to death with hammers/ poisoned with strychnine #like i get it. rei is their parent too but what the fuck was she supposed to do? stop her much stronger abusive husband? run away from a man #with considerable financial and other resources that could just find her or have her thrown in jail for *kidnapping* her own children?

[3-aem]

i also don’t want to portray myself as faultless. my work isn’t ai and it isn’t copied. but nk will say i Had old pieces that were copied and referenced ai. Yet it isn’t good faith when i apologize, state how i took accountability, and explain thats definitely not the case today because i learned my lessons- to respond with well you made these mistakes in the past so how can i believe you, you are lying, and have not changed.

so i quit. how can i prove myself then besides what i mentioned in the last post. my question is will you even ALLOW me to prove myself. each time i must explain, i place a spotlight on something that was resolved agreeably with the artists, resolved by removing the works, and resolved within myself by learning from it. but by not saying something i also allow You to concoct narratives and have to watch people spread them around and come to me demanding apologies. it is a very uncomfortable very distressing process that has worn me down completely.

never mind that other artists who have copied have not nearly been requested to apologize as much as i have been. never mind that they were forgiven when they removed the works or even when they just say sorry and don’t remove the work at all. But you still choose to hound me afterwards for doing just that?

nk has stated that i have not fixed this. and that i must address it. how many times though? for how long also? who on this planet starts the conversation by recounting all their mistakes, especially when they know they are resolved.

i have had to learn my lessons through cruelty like yours. trust me its a trauma i have to bear and they are not lessons you then forget.

my anger and my feelings of defeat come from the fact that even after nk was still talking like i had not even attempted to make progress. just look at your tone here.

#im going to fking throw up this is the last time i will ever say this #do not come begging to be for another apology i am done #i will never address this issue again okay #i need to say this because no matter what when i see people supporting me now i feel guilty #i recognize it is just because i hate myself #it is because i havent accepted i made mistakes #but i cant accept it because people cant accept it #i cant accept it and i cant move on #and that is why i think its best to leave art #i cant make work i am proud of anymore #i dont want to list names of artists #but i will say that when king chris reposted my work without credit i viewed it the same as when i referenced other artists work #but there was no callout no request even from the comments for credit #and he has millions of followers #i felt like i could not stand up for myself because i have this history #because of this history i can never properly defend myself i feel i must always kneel to it #even though i have changed and realized i was wrong i still have to acknowledge it always