#i curate all of my tumblr experiences to a T and don't seek out takes that i think are unfounded but. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ftmtftm]

Hey ty for combatting that one post saying tranandrophobia isn't real. I came to tumblr on the recommendation that this was a space transmasculine ppl can actually find each other but it STILL seems swarming with radfem rhetoric on like every app I try to use. I'm so scared bc next week I have to get a pap test done at this WOMANS clinic (I have a full beard) and every time I go something happens. Nurses get scared of me and have sabatoged my papers. Gestured me to go somewhere else for genital care. Every time I go to pick up my T I have to be so careful bc my papers have been shredded to keep me from getting it. Transmasculinity is so lonely sometimes. I've been sexually harrassed by a chaser, who is a woman. I feel unsafe whenever I go outside.

So for people like us to come to websites like these to have fun and escape reality and STILL see people including trans ppl who SHOULD be understanding us completely ignoring our experiences and talking like they have spoken to any of us, seeing bad faith takes constantly about how we're all attention seeking liars (while simultaneously being invisible bc that makes sense somehow) and MRA preachers bc we want ppl to stop ignoring when trans men get hurt and talk about their pain and how we don't actually get magical privilege and how secretly everything we complain about HAS to be about a trans woman somehow to shut us down-

It makes me feel crazy. Bc I know it's real. Lots of us do. But they still keep getting so many notes from radfems and queer ppl who want to look good. It feels so hopeless sometimes. I wish everyone who reblogged that had read your addition instead. Sorry if that was long

No worries anon! Like, seriously never be worried about leaving a long ask in my inbox.

Tumblr is a really complex place when it comes to the safety of any trans person really, because Tumblr is pretty dependent on the way the user curates their dashboard (though with the app trying to force new users onto the algorithmic dash that is becoming less of a feature - which blows bc user curation part of the whole appeal of the site!) But I digress - It's absolutely really frustrating the way even the most well meaning queer people regurgitate Radfem rhetoric because they don't actually know what Radical Feminism is because the Radfem propaganda machine unfortunately works and it has had decades of time to work well.

It's also especially frustrating because it is extremely emotionally labor intensive to try and discuss these topics and so you end up with a lot of extremely burnt out, frustrated trans mascs who want to give words to their experiences but are constantly told their experiences don't matter both on and offline. Which then ends with people expressing themselves in ways that are infinitely easy to take out of context or twist in unfavorable ways. Like, there's a reason why when I'm upset about something on here - I try to talk to my girlfriend or my best friend first to gather my thoughts. It's something I know I fail at sometimes to some degrees, but ultimately I don't want to fall victim to something like that. It's why I try to talk about my experiences clinically sometimes. Show too much vulnerability online and it can and will be weaponized against you.

There is also something to be said about how the absolutely atrocious damage actual MRAs have done to feminist discussions on manhood under Patriarchy is deeply upsetting. Like I said in that post, it is actually absolutely not anti-feminist to attempt to understand the ways in which Patriarchy reinforces harmful gendered stereotypes and roles onto men, especially marginalized men. Actual MRA's have taken that discussion and twisted it into something misogynistic, but the ways in which people shut down general feminist conversations on the subject quite literally stem from Radical Feminist thought - not general feminist belief - and it's deeply upsetting that that isn't more widely recognized.

I think, ultimately, hurt people hurt people and Tumblr is an environment full of hurting people who don't know how to cope well with their own lives. Marginalized people are canaries in the coal mine of capitalistic failure and we're all suffering in some way or another. That combined with the fact that Tumblr culture rewards feeling bigger or morally superior to others creates an awful cesspool of an environment for having real discussions on marginalization.

All of that said, I really hope your appointment goes well anon. Hopefully it all goes smoothly and without complications. 💛

#asks #anon