#i don't really care if they label me a jesus freak

[theworstofallpossibleworlds]

The Worst of All Possible Worlds #108: DC Talk - Jesus Freak feat. Tarence Ray

Tarence Ray (Trillbilly Worker’s Party) and the lads jot down their devotionals and sing praises to the mid-90s as they cover DC Talk’s seminal 1995 grunge-as-worship album: Jesus Freak. Topics include the band’s Liberty University origins, the impressive sonic palette, and what it takes to make art in the world of corporate evangelicalism.

#podcasts #twoapw #i'm cool voltaire #dc talk #trillbillies #ccm #i don't really care if they label me a jesus freak #there ain't no disguising the truth

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Kiss The Girl 🫶🌹

I don't need to tell you twice

All the ways hе can't suffice

If I could give you some advicе

I would leave with me tonight

Dove Cameron - Boyfriend

🫶💕

Hawkins is hosting a Valentine's dance, your boyfriend has treated you like shit yet again, Eddie decides he's had enough of your loser bf and plans to steal you away from him. 🌹

I had an ask from @itdobe-foggy that said to listen to Boyfriend by Dove Cameron and you telling Eddie about your loser ex. I did listen to it and thought of Eddie stealing you from your shitty loser boyfriend because he knows he could be a better boyfriend ❤️

Angst, fluff, minors shoo! 18+, Eddie is a little bit of a shit in this but we love him for it 🤭🌹

Valentines Day Fic 🌹🧸🫶💕

If you have any mini Valentines fic requests then send me an ask 🥰

🫶

Eddie hated Valentines, hated the hearts and the cheesy love songs, those god awful romantic movies and pretty much everything about it.

He was much more drawn to Halloween, unfortunately that was months away and he had to endure this hell instead. Normally he would be far far away from any Hawkins High dance but this was the Valentines Dance.

Most importantly you would be here. His secret crush. Eddie was God damn sure that he was falling hard for you. It was so easy, so easy to fall for your sweetness, you were beautiful inside and out, a true rare sweetheart in this shit hole of a town.

Eddie would ask you out in a heartbeat if it wasn't for your dickhead boyfriend. He really was a butthead, didn't know how to treat a princess like you.

But Eddie did.

He looks around at the decorations for the dance in distaste, pink was everywhere. Pink balloons, pink streamers, love spell punch, Valentines themed food and shitty cheesy music that made his ears bleed.

Still be would deal with all of this just to see you.

Gareth nudges him and he smiles-probably looking like a goofy idiot but he doesn't care as you walk in to the gym in a flowing red dress, lips painted cherry red and you're wearing heels that defy gravity.

Then Eddie notices how sad you look, the not so hidden red rimmed eyes and he fumes silently.

Hastily he grabs the wildflowers he picked for you from the field near the trailer, hopes they make you smile as he holds them out to you.

The beaming smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat "Eddie thank-you, you're so sweet" you kiss his cheek and Eddie feels his cheeks warm at the feel of your lips on his skin.

"Uh no problem sweetheart. Where's Peter?" he asks causally and you frown. The smile disappears from your lips and he kicks himself for asking, it's obvious you didn't want to talk about Peter.

"Around here somewhere. He decided talking to his oh so pretty chem partner was more important that accompanying his own girlfriend to the dance" you wave it off like it doesn't bother you but Eddie knows it does, hates the way your pretty eyes look so downcast.

"Why are you with him? Jesus h christ, I mean he's awful sweetheart'' you nod and look down, a sad expression on your face.

"I've told him it's over so many times but he's such an arrogant ass that he pays not attention, even when I avoid him it's like he makes it his mission to be the biggest jackass possible" Eddie listens to this, tries to hide his growing rage. Kinda wants to hit Peter right in his stupid face.

Not that he's much or a fighter. He prefers his battles strictly in the realms of D&d. Still you don't get labelled as the town freak, have assholes riling you up on the daily and trying to pick at you and not know how to fight dirty.

"He's a fucking dickhead princess, you could do so much better. Deserve the best. You could have anyone you wanted" he holds out his hand you squeeze it softly, give him a sweet smile.

"Anyone?" you repeat with an impish smile and there's a deep tension in the air, it wraps around the two of you. Eddie has felt this before but never knew if he should do anything about it.

Now? Well now he was going to steal you from your douchebag boyfriend and he couldn't give two fucks if Peter hated it. He had watched that asshole make you grow sadder week by week, heard the arguments in the hallways.

You deserved to be treated like a princess and Eddie was more than up for the task. If you wanted to be with him, then he was for damn sure going to be the best boyfriend possible.

"Anyone sweetheart, Peter doesn't deserve you, I could be your boyfriend and I'd be better than him in every fucking way" he says fiercely.

Eddie can see the longing in your eyes, the way his own heart skips several beats as to what happens next. He really wants to kiss you, instinctively he moves forward just as you do and he pulls you into his arms for a kiss that makes both of your heads spin, goofy smiles on your faces.

"Eddie Munson. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a plan all along to steal me away from my shitty boyfriend" you tease him and he smirks.

"Is my plan working princess?'' you answer him with another kiss then take his hand to lead him somewhere more private.

🌹

"What the fuck!!''

Eddie peers up pissed off, his hand caressing your thighs, lips pressed to your neck and gives your boyfriend a dirty look as he grips your thighs gently and you hum in frustration, tug on his hair a little so he can continue.

Peter splutters as he takes in the scene, looks between you and Eddie who stares defiantly back at him.

"What the fuck... I heard moaning, I thought... he trails off as Eddie stands up and fixes your dress. Picks up his leather jacket and tucks you into it, admires how incredible you look in his clothes.

"Beautiful, he sighs then turns to Peter, do you fucking mind? We're busy. Oh and dickhead that noise that's so unusual to you is your girl enjoying herself... Must be such a rarity with you, I know"

You hide your smile and snuggle into Eddie who tugs you closer to him. He feels on top of the world.

"She's my girlfriend Munson" Peter rages, Eddie shakes his head and points to the door.

"Not anymore. Fuck off" he snaps and Peter must sense the irratation in Eddie's tone as he flees.

"Asshole you mutter, he'll be back in Rita's arms by Monday. Shit, maybe we should have went to yours Eddie"

He looks around the janitors closet and kisses your hair. "You were so insistent to come in here sweetheart. How can I say no to my princess?''

Fuck, he doesn't think he will ever be able to say no to you, your pout and pleading expression will be the death of him.

"Let's go to yours" you nod and take his hand leading him outside, your giggles filling the air.

This Valentines Day wasn't so bad Eddie muses, after all he pissed off a jackass, had a decent time and best of all he got the girl.

❤️

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson

[irish-urn]

Ugh. You write Derek so well. Wtf.

"He huffs and slides his hands into his jeans’ pockets, looking very pleased with himself. “Thought we’d take the metro so we could really indulge.”" I CANT STOP SMILING. He's such a softie. Look at him preen under her praise oh my god.

So let's see. Derek takes Casey on an amazing day filled with activities she'll love... to win a bet so she'll watch a TV show that Derek knows she'll like.... interesting 🤔

This is probably my favorite part of the fic. It's such a good date and they're being so sweet together and UGH.

"Look. I might not know everything that’s happening in your life, mostly because you’re kinda hella cagey when you wanna be" - ugh. Yessssssssss I love that you get this and I can talk about this all day. Casey is a little contrary ball of trust issues. It takes a bit for her to bring down her walls.

"but I do know it’s been, y’know, a little bit shitty recently. And I wouldn’t be a good…” he pauses, mouth curling and pursing, and she waits with bated breath for the word he’s about to choose, because labels matter.

“…whatever,” he mutters — and her chest gets tight, and her throat clogs up because he could have said stepbrother, he should have said stepbrother - this paragraph GETS me every reread. Jesus.

Derek's reaction to being kissed on the cheek made me scream into a pillow 👍🏼

"“I can cook,” she offers immediately, wanting to even out this ridiculous debt that she owes him." I have so many thoughts and feelings about this. On one hand, I love their little bets and wanting to keep things fair but on the other hand, I can't wait for the day that they don't feel the need to keep score. ITS OKAY TO JUST CALL IT EVEN YOU FREAKS.

AW THANK YOU. I LOVE writing Derek, so that's so very very nice to hear.

So, like, he's thinking, 'I'm going to woo Casey. This is going to be a long road, but if it— when it works, it'll be worth it.'

And then Casey's apartment loses power, and Derek's protective nature kicks into high gear, and he's worried about her right now, and she's so tired; just look at her face!!! And she has no food in her fridge, and, jeeze. Someone needs to take care of this woman. So, he'll take her out for a good meal, try to make her smile, take her someplace that'll let her relax, and then find something that'll force her to take a break several times over the next few weeks. This is his plan: he just wants to make sure she's okay.

One day, one day they'll forget about who owes whom what, because everything will be for them as opposed to Derek or Casey... But they're not there yet. But one day. <3

#asks #take off your shoes now (you're in the right place)

[erensrag]

bimbo!reader x judgmental nerd eren

eren x y/n (wc: 3173)

warnings: nswf, slut shaming, slight dubious consent

i don’t think i did this correctly….

"no please, take your time. it's not like we've been here for hours." eren's sharp voice brings you out of your thoughts.

his piercing gaze is right there to meet yours when you finally stop staring at the wall. you chew on your pencil, quickly diverting your attention to the paper in front of you. you've done your best to avoid looking at him the majority of the time you've been here.

it's not your fault you can't look into his eyes for longer than a second. he's the one who's always observing you with that cold, calculating stare. you've been on the end of judgmental looks and not so quiet whispers for years now and have learned to not let them bother you—well you thought you mastered the art of simply ignoring those kinds of people. until eren.

you didn't even know he existed until a few weeks ago. the introduction for you two consisted of a simple bumping into each other in the crowded hallways of school, it ended with him bitterly muttering something about idiot cheerleaders as he stumbled away. not even sparing you a second glance. after that, you saw him often and he made his dislike for you evidently clear.

which makes no sense. how can someone not like you?

it's usually jealous girls giving you the stink eye and making up the ridiculous rumors. they're the ones who don't want to associate themselves with you. not nerdy nobodies who can't walk without stumbling over their own two feet. no, people like him usually worship the ground you walk on. or at least drool a little.

seriously you've tried everything to get rid of that menacing stare and frigid tone he always greets you with. it's like he's immune. "jesus y/n, how dumb are you?"

and they definitely don't talk to you like that. you know you're not the brightest, which is why your teacher got this jerk of a nerd to tutor you right before exam week but is that really an excuse for him to treat you like this? biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge a corner of your sweater until your left shoulder is exposed. leaning forward and batting your eyelashes which gets no response from him other than a blank stare. "i'm not dumb. i just don't get it." you pout. "can't you just tell me the answer? we've spent like thirty minutes on this question."

"thirty minutes cause you're an idiot." he mutters more to himself.

"i'm trying my best!"

"you should've learned this months ago. you would've if you didn't spend your time skipping class to hang out with your pig muscle boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend..." you go back to chewing on the pencil.

"so you just make out with any guy behind the bleachers?"

"you seem to know a lot about me." you look at him again, that stupid cold stare looking back at you through those glasses.

"who doesn't. you're y/n. the whole school knows of your...activities."

"those are just rumors." some of them are. most are true. you enjoy living life to the fullest. it's not your fault the people in your school saw a confident, attractive woman and instantly decided to put less than appealing labels on her. "and besides they're none of your business."

"whatever. just solve this, this is taking longer than our usual sessions and my mom will be home soon."

you groan, looking down at the textbooks and not understanding a single word. “please just tell me the answers.” you ask one last time, desperate.

“no.”

you huff, returning your attention to the book. “you’re going to age badly with all that scowling you do. just so you know.”

“shut up.”

"eren..." you say after five minutes which causes a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. "do you have an issue with me?" it's been four sessions of the frigid tension he always puts between you two and there's a lot more to come before graduation so you just want to get whatever problems he has with you out of the way.

it takes a few seconds before he's looking up from the textbook, pushing his glasses up as he sends you probably the most intimidating glare you've seen from him. "excuse me?" the very tone of his voice has goosebumps forming on your skin but you force yourself to stand your ground. you're not going to let some loser who's probably never even kissed someone to look down on you.

"you— you just seem to—"

"i don't have an issue with you y/n." he slams the book on the table causing you to jump. "having an issue with someone like you would imply i care enough and trust me i'll never care for such a ditzy little slut who doesn't respect herself."

you've been called worse than that and usually by scorned boys you hooked up with. but they were popular gym rats, not some overconfident lanky freak. you had a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but with the cogs in your brain suddenly malfunctioning, you could only stutter out a pathetic, "i—i'm none of those things!"

"really?" he scoffs, actually getting up and walking over and as he does you think maybe it would've been a safer option to just keep your mouth shut. "wide doe eyes without nothing behind them. check." he starts. "plump lips perfect for what you do best. check." and the asshole has the nerve to slowly swipe his fingers across your bottom lip.

you should stand up, tell him to go to hell and get out of here but you're frozen. limbs not moving an inch as he continues, "empty little head. check. skimpy outfits to attract attention. check. i mean let's face the facts.."

you never would've thought the loser that always sits in the back of the class with his nose buried deep in a book would speak like this to you. it's insulting. freaking degrading. he knows nothing about you and yet he has that expression on his face like he does. "if i'm such a ditzy little slut as you so nicely put then i'd be jumping at the chance to hook up with you but here we are." you seethe.

that seems to finally strike a nerve as he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. you cut him off before he can defend himself.

"is that it...you're angry i haven't made a move on you because that's what sluts do isn't it? bone everything they see? is your pride wounded that i don't see you in that way, eren?" you let out a mirthless laugh. "well news flash, pretty girls like me don't go for freaks like you."

you got up, ready to grab your things and run out all while trying to ignore the nerves inside of you. he just stands there, rigid and glaring. "really?" he asks once your books are back in your bag.

"y—yes. now if you'll excuse me—" your wrist is being grabbed before you can take another step and for a second both of you are stunned, you mostly frozen in your spot because this creep has the audacity to touch you after everything he just said. you don't know what his excuse is but he only stands there like a shocked puppy before pushing you on the desk.

a gasp escapes your lips at being manhandled by him  of all people, what the fuck is he doing? you're on your stomach, feet on the ground as the fucker puts a hand on your back, keeping you there. "w-what are you doing?" you pant out, bewildered at everything that just happened.

"i..." he trails off, not saying anything before manhandling you again. only this time it's for you to lay on your back and fuck, you could fight back. he's surprisingly strong for such a lanky freak but you're a cheerleader who does complex moves out on the field almost every day. you could kick him off, slam that big textbook in his face to the point his nose breaks and run out, making sure to report him.

but you don't. it's not that you can't. for some reason, you just don't want to. maybe it's curiosity, to see what exactly he plans on doing. to see if a loser like him actually has the balls to do anything but back away and apologize profusely.

"you're not fighting back." he simply says, sounding a bit confused as he comes to lean over your body. his hands on either side of your head as he stares down, those stupid piercing eyes staring down at you. "why?"

"shouldn't i be the one asking the questions here? like why the fuck you have me on this desk?"

he raises an eyebrow, leaning back and grabbing your thighs causing you to squeal in surprise. he spreads them, raising the dress you’re wearing until it's pooling at your stomach before you can even blink.

shit. what's wrong with him?

what's wrong with you? you should be kicking at him, you could easily shove him off. you could do it in a blink of an eye so why the hell aren't you.

where there's supposed to be fear...there's only anticipation. "you really are a slut." he laughs cruelly, pulling your panties down until they're completely off. where he throws them, you don't know. probably in some corner to hide so you forget about them, who knows what a pervert like him would do with it?

"you barely know me and yet...look at this." you shudder as his finger circles your clit before swiping across your cunt, bringing his hand up to show you your slick as if for emphasis.

"shut up." you grit through your teeth. "you're—" you don't have time to finish your insult before he's kneeling down, tongue immediately latching onto your clit.

your nails instantly scrape against the desk, shuddering as he begins to suckle on your clit. his tongue delves into you, fingers digging into your thighs on purpose as if the freak wants to hurt you. you can play that game too if he wants, fingers going to grab at the strands of his dark hair, pulling as you ground your hips against his annoyingly experienced tongue.

usually, your sexual partners don't willingly choose to eat you out but here is he. practically eager to get to business. he acted so high and mighty and still has the gall to continue doing so yet he's the one on his knees right now. freaking nerds are so easy. even overly judgmental ones with sharp gazes.

he’s basically lapping at you, moving from sucking your clit to eagerly drinking up your juices. never coming up for air as if he was made to simply do this. "f—fuck." you didn't want to make any noises, any implications that what he's doing is actually making you feel good but dammit it's hard when a tongue is diving deep into your most sensitive parts.

a particular bite has you instantly bringing your legs together but he quickly grabs them, forcing them apart to shove his face in between your thighs again. your breath catches in your throat as he licks up your dripping pussy. he doesn’t relent even once and the moans won’t stop escaping your lips, “sl—slow down. gonna…dammit.”

his tongue licks…freaking everywhere. the obscene noises causing you to hang your head back, he’s licking and sucking everything up as if it’s his favorite meal.

and it’s embarrassing. how fast you come. but how can not you? you mercilessly pull at his hair and shamelessly moan when you do. somehow you're the sweating and panting one as he stands up. "so that's what all the hype is about?" he tsk, seemingly bored.

it takes a few seconds for you to find the breath to say “don't act like you didn't enjoy that, with the way you were eagerly—”

"shut up." he takes his glasses off, putting them to the side before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

"you're disgusting, you know? the nerve you have—"

"i spent the last two hours teaching you simple biology and somehow you couldn't do one question by yourself, if i'm testy that's all on you.

"it's not my fault." it comes out as a whine and you hate it, you were supposed to be insulting him. at least have some pride when you're about to be fucked by the guy who looks at you like you're nothing but a dirty piece of gum.

"shut up, for crying out loud. shut up." his voice is raspy as he unbuckles the belt to his revolting khakis.

you can't help as your eyes widen once his cock is in view. for such a nerd, he's actually packing. one hand holds your hips as the other guides his dick towards your leaking area and slight panic starts to take over. "a-aren't you gonna prep?" as orgasmic as that oral job was, you doubt just that will be enough to prepare you for that.

he grins, probably the first smile you've ever seen on his annoyingly handsome face. "don't worry, i'm sure a slut like you has a loose enough cunt."

"you little shit! that's—" your words get caught in your throat, back arching as he moves his hips forward, piercing inside of you. "fuck."

a broken sound leaves your lips as he continues to push his length in. it doesn't hurt like you expected it to but there's still a strong ache that you know will leave you limping tomorrow morning. it burns, burns so good you have to squeeze your eyes shut. you need something to hold onto as he starts to move, anything to give you some sort of balance but the flat surface underneath you offers no help. "ngh...eren..." you're not sure what you want to say but he doesn't give you time to think of something before he sets a rhythm.

it's surprisingly slow at first, like he wants you to feel every vein on his cock and you do. your walls desperately clench around him as you bite on your bottom lip, the room suddenly feeling too hot as his fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. into that stupid gaze he won't stop staring at you with. his mouth is slightly open but no sound comes out. he's perfectly collected and you hate it. people like him should be cumming the second you touch them but he's...it's annoying.

his pace starts to speed up—he doesn't even give it another second before he's ramming inside of you. holding your hips with both hands as he sets a brutal pace that has you moving up and down the desk. "p-pretty decent for a nerd—ah!"

still, he stays silent. ugh, what's wrong with him? you bring your arm up to your mouth, muffling the moans spilling out of your lips in spite but his hands are immediately pulling them off. he chuckles, coming close enough that his breath fans against your face and a lewd moan comes out of you as he hits an even deeper spot. "don't do that, we all know this is what you want. to be fucked hard and fast to the point you're nothing but a mindless whore whose only purpose is to scream in pleasure."

you don't respond, biting down hard on your lips. his thrusts became more aggressive as he scoffs, "fine." his hand finds its way to your throat, squeezing slightly.

you suck in a shuddering breath just as his hold tightens, bordering on dangerous but for some reason the lack of air only makes your pussy throb, clenching tight around him. why does it feel good? why does everything he's doing to you only make you want more? his thrusts have now gotten erratic, almost forcing your body off the desk but the hold on your hips and throat keep you right where you are. you want to let out the moan clawing out from inside your throat but his grip stays, merciless as he pounds into you.

you don't know how much of this you can take, everything feels too hot. it's too much. "fuck look at you, didn't think you could look even more dumb." he pants, staring down. he finally removes his hand from your throat and you cry out the second he does.

"eren, please i'm—fuck...too much, it's too much." you gasp even though a sick part of you knows you could do this all night.

but right now...with the way his voice is dripping with cockiness— you hate it, hate the way he looks at you and talks to you. it's infuriating and too much. a tsk comes out of his mouth, "who knew you had a limit?" he rolls his eyes and in the next second, he's spilling inside of you. spilling and spilling until some drip on the floor.

like he's been holding himself back all this time.

fuck. he could've at least let you release a second time. you didn't think the asshole would be finishing right after you said that. you're panting, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he pulls out. he zips up his stupid ugly looking khakis as he steps back. "can you get off my desk now?"

the nerve of him...ugh. you slowly sit up, dress sticking to your skin due to the sweat and you have to refrain from asking to use his shower before leaving.

he gets you your bag and you slowly take it, throat aching and dry. there'll definitely be bruises around your throat and hips tomorrow and you're sure he's secretly delighted at that fact. "uh...." you trail off.

this is usually the part where they ask for your number, pleading for a second night with that desperate look in their eyes but he doesn't even send you another glance as he gathers up the papers on the desk, putting them into a binder. "make sure to study before sleeping tonight...if your body can handle that." his lips slightly curve up at that last part but he's not bragging, no just mocking you.

"o...okay." you lick your dry lips, suddenly needing a mint. "uh...bye?" you stand up too fast, cursing at yourself for it but his arm is around your hips before you can fall.

you bite the inside of your cheek, the proximity too close even though he was just inside of you a minute ago. he sighs, "do you need a ride home?" he asks grudgingly.

and you should say no. you don't need to be in an enclosed space with this asswipe for another second. just say no and walk into class the next day, demanding for another tutor. and then you'll never have to talk to him ever again.

but instead a weak nod comes out.

#eren x y/n #eren x you #eren x reader #attack on titan fic #eren jeager x reader #eren smut #eren yeager #eren jaeger

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

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@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #sonny carisi #sonny carisi fanfiction

[luminescentauthor]

Sora/Tobi Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons

THEY’RE HEEEEEERREEEE! Maybe Tobi will finally leave me alone now and stop taking up my whole brain.

Please read this post or this won’t make sense, it’s HCs about their third year. There’s also a part two that you don’t need to read, since everything you need is in part one. (U can if u want to tho.)

(If you don’t want to, basically all you need to know is: Nao, Sora, Tobi, and Mokichi are on first-name basis since the end of second year; Sora and Tobi have had a running prank war since the end of their first year and everyone on the team hates them because of it; Sora is captain, Mokichi is vice. Oh also Tobi’s aunt is awesome and she stormed into his parents’ house in Hiroshima to yell at them for being terrible parents. Tobi didn’t find out for the longest time.)

This is some 10-ass pages so headcanons below the cut!

This. Is. So much more chaotic than my Sora/Nao HCs. Prepare for disaster gays, very tired and very exasperated queer parent friend Momoharu, very very tired Mokichi, "usually a functional bi but the second you involve emotions he becomes a grade-a disaster bisexual" Tobi, Sora struggling to deal with "OH shit I'm gay," and "bows to absolutely no one and done with everyone and everything 24/7" Nanao Nao. This version of Nao is so much more of a tired badass than Sora/Nao's Nao, who stays more true to her canon self. 

It's also twice as long. Yeet.

Tobi and Sora have had growing feelings since their first year and Mokichi and Nao are fucking suffering with these stupid gays.

They were friends at first, and it really was just pure platonic feelings. It started to turn into something more a little after the first Taiei game, but Sora is shy and a certified disaster and Tobi is way too emotionally constipated for either of them to do anything about it.

Tobi I love you but you're a fucking mess.

Tobi actually got kicked out by his "father" in large part for being bisexual, and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with growing feelings for tiny cute short teammate, nope nope no thank you-

But basically, Tobi has known he's bi for a while now, and while he's having some acceptance problems, he's not having the "OH GOD I'M GAY" panic

Sora has not known, and he's having a panic in the background because "I'm attracted to guys?!"

Sora starts realizing what's going on some time in second year, and Momoharu takes one look at the panicking Sora and goes "aight the fuck happened to you?"

You will have to pry their friendship from my cold dead hands and I'm not sorry. I love Momoharu and Sora's dynamic. 

Sora eventually confesses to Momoharu (after a lot of prodding) that he thinks he's turning gay, and Momoharu immediately starts laughing. Sora, hurt and feeling very stupid, goes to run, but Momoharu tugs him back down to sit and tells him, "Jesus, Sora, you don't turn gay. You either identify as gay or you don't. Sorry for scaring you, the concept of turning gay is just... oddly funny. Don't worry about it dude, I'm pansexual."

"...Pansexual?" Sora asks nervously.

"Yup, I'm attracted to all people regardless of gender. Men, women, people who don't fit either -- I don't much care. Gender doesn't really factor into whether or not I'm attracted to people."

"You can be attracted to multiple genders?" Sora asks, eyes wide.

Oh boy, Momoharu thinks. Poor kid. "Yeah, folks who are attracted to just men and women are called bisexual. Homosexual is the official word for those who are only attracted to their own gender, but gay or lesbian is usually used. Heterosexual is for those only attracted to the opposite gender. Of course, the lines aren't as clear set as those labels suggest they are. Sexuality is fucky, dude. Don't worry about not having it figured out. I only decided on a label a few months back, myself. Some people just choose not to label it at all."

That makes Sora feel better, and he takes to talking to Momoharu about it quite a bit.

At one point, Sora brings up how the team would react, especially since they share a locker room. Momoharu just gives him a deadpan look and then says in the flattest voice ever, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." That gets a laugh out of Sora and makes him feel a lot better.

As it turns out, this was word for word Chiaki's reaction to Momoharu being nervous about coming out to the team back in their first year.

It is also, word for word, Chiaki's response to Sora coming out to him going "I'm sorry I hope this doesn't make things awkward-"

Momoharu laughs hysterically when Chiaki pulls the exact same face he did and says in the exact same deadpan tone, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." Sora also stares at Chiaki for about ten seconds in silence, then doubles over laughing. Chiaki is so confused until Momoharu explains. 

However, this does mean that Momoharu has to deal with the brunt of Sora's "TOBI DID A THING HOLY SHIT" rants for the rest of the year, even though he denies that Tobi is the one he was attracted to if ever asked.

Momoharu, rubbing his forehead: Chiaki the baby gays are being stupid what do I do

Chiaki: I'm a straight so unfortunately I don't think I can help here?

Momoharu: Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tobi is freaking out in the background because "oh no gay feelins oh no soft feelins fuck what do I do????"

His aunt: Kid, please calm down, you'll be fine.

Tobi, putting a groove in the floor with his pacing: NO I WON'T WHA' IF 'E FINDS OUT WHAT IF THIS RUINS THA TEAM DYNAMIC WHAT IF 'E 'ATES ME-

Accent go yeet when upset!

She holds him while he panics and lets him curl into her, and then makes his favorite foods and puts on a movie and cuddles with him, and once he's asleep, she calls her brother-in-law with every intent of murder because how dare you make this child feel so unloved?

Anyway, Tobi eventually comes to accept himself and his sexuality in full thanks to her, the team, and Juri. It's primarily just a thing of time and needing to have more conversations where he's open about it and accepted by people he cares about. 

Poor Sora still isn't totally comfortable with being gay? And a month or so into his third year, he comes out to Nao and later Mokichi. They make him feel much better, but the final piece is actually Tobi himself. Tobi finds Sora having a breakdown in the locker rooms and holds him to help him calm down and pushes him to talk about it, and Sora finally tells Tobi he's queer.

And Tobi, having been through this struggle before, just kind of pulls him into a hug and says, "Well, tha' makes two o' us" and Sora goes "wHAT" and Tobi tells him he's bisexual. Tobi does not pry about who made Sora realize he's queer, because it's personal and touchy, and he respects that.

That does, however, extend the mutual bullshit period.

But also: 

Sora: oH MY GOD HE'S GAY HE'S GAY HE'S GAY I'M-

Tobi: 'E's. 'E's Bi. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths just don' panic and ask 'im out that's a bad plan-

Tobi that's actually how you deal with romantic feelings like a functional human being but sure, go off. 

Tobi comes out to Nao and Mokichi with Sora's support shortly after that, and their reactions are, respectively: "NICE!" "Cool." and then Nao tackles Tobi in a hug that is the start of a big grouphug. 

There's lots of hugging and crying (the latter is Nao and Sora and a little bit of Mokichi), and Tobi will vehemently deny that he cried at all, but a few tears got out.

(Lbr Tobi's gay pining for Sora was Not Subtle, so they already knew, but they don't tell him that for a while. When they do tell him, he's gotten to the point where he just stares at them blankly for a moment and then groans rather than flipping out. Mokichi chuckles quietly and Nao just outright laughs at him.)

But anyway, both of these Absolute Idiots are still crushing on each other, and everyone is suffering.

Actually, scratch "crushing,” it's moved into full-blown pining now.

Sora eventually also accepts that, alright, he has a big crush on Tobi. Tobi, their ace. Tobi, one of his best friends. Tobi, one of the best wings in all of Japan. Tobi, who is ridiculously attractive. Tobi, who looks like an actual bush when he doesn't tie his hair back somehow, because his hair is insanely (and adorably) frizzy and voluminous. Tobi, who will whoop at the top of his lungs and grin like a maniac because he just pulled off a fantastic drive and double-clutch, even though he's exhausted and soaked in sweat and they're four minutes into overtime. Tobi, who makes the cutest face with the sweetest smile Sora has ever seen when he talks to his sister. (Tobi, who is a boy, and Sora has stopped caring.)

Sora even stops denying that he likes Tobi after a little bit, and Momoharu is just in the background going, "good job, it only took you two entire years to figure that out."

Sora: LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Momoharu: Okay but have you considered: No. Absolutely not. 

Anyway Tobi mostly complains/gay rants to Nao and sometimes Mokichi, and at this point, even Juri is slightly sick of her brother talking about "our amazin' point guard." Yer not subtle, Anchan????

Except it eventually moves from "wow he's amazin' but NO I do not 'ave a crush on 'im" to "oh my God I am SO gay," and then later it moves to a more resigned gay panic. ("Nnnnnnghhhhh I nearly fuckin' kissed 'im after practice today what do I do-")

Nao is trying to bully both of them into confessing, but neither will take the first step, not because of pride, but because they're scared. (Nao is. So. Done. Even if she sympathizes, it has been two years of this bullcrap please-)

Tobi, especially, is afraid of losing everything again after his nasty stepdad booted him out.

Sora is like "that is one of my closest friends, and given this team's stability record I am Not Poking That Mess With A Long Stick."

Momoharu, who is the one he says this to, is just kinda like, "Yeah I can't really argue with that, as much I want you to confess."

Nao, later, having been subjected to a similar rant, after he said "closest friend" instead of "a dude": HE'S GROWING UP KANAME-KUN I'M TEARING UP-

Mokichi is far too tired of everything to interfere, which is fair.

Juri badgers Tobi for a solid four weeks before he admits what's really going on, and then it kind of all comes spilling out, and she encourages him to confess to Sora, but he's still reluctant.

Nao also bluntly says, "Kenji-kun's family abandoned him, Sora-kun, and it may be because he's the words ‘problem child' given physical form, but it may be because he's queer. If you want to work this out, I think you'll need to take the first step." 

(Tobi told the team about his past late first year/early second year. Crying happened and everyone basically group-tackle-hugged Tobi, and he finally got the hugs he very much needed and definitely deserved.)

And Sora angsts over that for a while until Chiaki very simply says, "Do you want things between the two of you to change?" And Sora realizes that yes, he does, he doesn't want things to stay the same, he wants to hold Tobi's hand and go on dates and call each other at weird hours for the sake of it and hold each other until they fall asleep and kiss him and -- well, you get the idea.

So he works up the courage, and it's one night some months before the national tournament when Sora asks Tobi to stay behind with him for extra practice. Sora is really nervous, and Tobi is like "??? Sure? Are ya okay?"

Sora, voice cracking: yEaH I'M FINE

Anyway, Sora misses like a solid sixty percent of his shots that practice and Tobi is. So confused.

Tobi to Mokichi: Did. Did somethin' happen.

Mokichi just shrugs, which does not make Tobi feel better.

So Tobi stays behind all the others to talk with Sora, and they're both really nervous. Obviously, Sora is about to confess, and Tobi is just so confused, and also some small part of him is going, "oh God did he figure out I like 'im????"

Nao and Mokichi kicked all the first and second years out after just an hour of individual practice, and Sora is grateful but also, "guys please don't make me confront my problems."

Nao: "Sora-kun if we waited for you to deal with this we'd be here 'till sunrise."

Mokichi, tiredly: "No, we'd be here until we turned old and gray."

Sora asks Tobi to sit with him while blushing, and Tobi complies, still very puzzled.

They make small talk for a minute, and then Sora abruptly says, "Kenji-kun... I... I think I have a crush on you".

Tobi gapes at him like a fish, opening and closing his mouth for a solid minute, and eventually, Sora.exe unfreezes and goes, "Sorry, I-" and Tobi just goes, "Fer real? Ya aren't prankin' me again?" in a surprisingly quiet voice.

And Sora is mildly offended but knows that's a fair assumption given their track record of prank wars, and he also almost wants to use the excuse Tobi has handily provided, but he just stands and goes "I'm sorry, I should leave-"

And Tobi leaps to his feet, grabs his hand, and says flat out, "Sora, I've 'ad a crush on ya since first year."

And Sora just kinda… short circuits. "Wait, really?"

Tobi just kinda rubs the back of his neck (shyly? Tobi gets shy?) and goes, "Yeah, I... I kinda only admitted it in tha middle a' second year, though."

And Sora says slowly, "You... you like me. You like me!" He laughs, relieved. "Holy shit, I was so scared you were going to reject me and it was going to ruin everything--"

And Tobi is just going oh my God, he's adorable, I can't deal with him, and takes Sora's chin in one hand and asks quietly, "Sora, can I kiss ya?" Sora's eyes, predictably, go wide, and he nods. (And please take a moment to recall and appreciate the fact that Tobi is canonically an entire foot taller than Sora. Sora is 149 cm (4'10.7) and Tobi is 178 (5'10.1). This is fantastic because I will bet actual money that this height difference has not shrunk; if anything, it has grown.)

They kiss just as the entire team bursts into the gym. Turns out, they were watching the whole thing, and honestly, none of them look that ashamed; they put up with the pair's bullshit for this long, they're invested now, and they deserved to know what happened.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REVENGE FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF USELESS GAY PINING," Nao yells. "KANAME-KUN, EVERYONE -- GRAB THEM!"

And the team lifts the yelling and protesting couple above their heads as Sora loudly objects and Tobi swears at them. The first years learn some creative new insults. The second and third years, on the other hand, are very accustomed to Tobi by this point, and aren't remotely surprised, but -- oh, haven't heard that one before, actually, says a second year. The others mutter assent. 

We have, Mokichi grouches. We third years have heard them all. 

Sora is small and easily hauled around, and Tobi is also pretty helpless when being held up above the heads of Mokichi and their first-year center. So they can’t really like... do anything about being dragged around.

Nao leads the team forward like an army, and they march to the pool to drop the two of them in, and when they resurface, fully clothed and soaked to the bone, Sora is laughing hysterically. (Assume Sora learned to swim at some point.)

Tobi is groaning, but he's grinning, and he swims over to the side of the pool -- and grabs Nao and Mokichi's ankles and drags them in, both of them yelling.

And Sora thinks, with Nao yelling in irritation but a sparkle in her eyes and a grin she's failing to fight off, with Mokichi laughing quietly as he flings his wet bangs out of his eyes, with Tobi laughing hysterically, his hair slicked back by water, with the four of them wearing all of their clothes and soaked to the bone, their entire team yanking off their shirts to jump into the pool with them and the moon and stars shining overhead, that he's never been happier.

And Tobi turns to him and grins, and Sora can't keep himself from jumping at Tobi -- who catches him, startled -- and kissing him again.  

And, like, hey, Tobi isn't about to complain.

They take about two months to settle into things, and then it's just like... I'm sorry, who thought letting Kurumatani "Embodiment of Chaos" and Natsume "Biggest Problem Child Ever" Kenji date was a good idea?????

It's a bit awkward for a while because they're still feeling things out and figuring out what they're both comfortable with, but then they finally click, and it's... pure fucking chaos.  

Sora will not stop stealing Tobi's clothes and Tobi is not happy about it, mostly because -- Sora, if ya keep stealin' my clothes while I am in the changin' room, then I do not 'ave clothes to wear ya stupid chibi--

Tobi has stormed into the gym shirtless at least twice yelling, "SORA! GIVE BACK MY FUCKIN' SHIRT!"

Listen. Listen we have a total of three scenes of Tobi being shirtless, and two of them were in front of plenty of people. Tobi is many things, but body shy is not one of them. He wouldn't care. 

(Post-Kitasumi loss, post-Shinjo loss, and that one scene of him dribbling in a park or something at night with an audience. The night before they played Taiei.)

Tobi: Are ya ever jus' tryin' to figure out where all yer clothes have gotten ta and then ya turn ‘round and see 'em all on yer dumbass tiny boyfriend?

Sora, clearly utterly unapologetic, wearing Tobi's sweatshirt: Oops. 

Chiaki, probably: SOME OF US ARE SINGLE STOP RUBBING IT IN.

As mentioned before, Sora is canonically 149 cm (~4'10.7), and Tobi is 178 cm (~5'10.1). There's a 29-centimeter difference, almost an entire foot, and frankly, that difference has grown a few centimeters, and you bet Tobi is going to abuse the shit out of this.

He literally holds things Sora wants over Sora's head all the time and Sora hates it. Like yes, Tobi did this before they dated too, but now Tobi is doing it more just to be annoying. It's also the only way Tobi can keep his clothes out of Sora's hands whenever they aren't on Tobi's person. (It's kind of hard to steal a shirt when someone is wearing it.) 

"THIS IS ABUSE!"

"Me holdin' m' own jacket above m' head so that ya can't steal it from me isn't abuse, it’s self-preservation! It’s like -20 degrees out there, Sora, use yer own jacket!"

I personally headcanon Tobi shooting up like a weed, but whether he did or not, he's probably between 180 and 190 now (5'11 and 6'3). Meanwhile, Sora is like maybe 155-60. It is possible that Sora also shoots up, but I feel like he would hit 165 at most. That would have him growing 16 cm, which is 8 inches, so. That's a lot of inches to grow in two and a half years. 

The things Tobi holds above his head are mostly his own clothes and also food items, plus the occasional basketball.

He also sometimes will nab Sora's clothes and hold them up in the air just to get back at him. Sora will be leaping up in the air, trying to reach his clothes, while Tobi stands there with a shit-eating grin holding Sora's shirt over his head. It looks so stupid. Nao and Mokichi both have multiple videos of it. (Nao has like five.) (What? She suffered, alright? Let her have this blackmail, at least.)

Sora: :( My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Momoharu: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Nao: Tackle him.

Chiaki: Dump him.

Mokichi: Kick him in the shin.

Tobi: NO TO ALL A' THOSE, JUST ASK ME TA LEAN DOWN!

Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and literally all of their friends are still giving them a hard time for being useless gays and taking two and half years to deal with their feelings even five years later. They're never going to live it down.

As adults, juggling careers and their growing relationship is hard.

They both go to universities in Tokyo, thankfully, and don't have to do long distance, and get an apartment together in their third year.

Tobi probably joins the B.League, and maybe Sora does too. (I dunno, I'm not committing to anything with career HCs.)

If they do, they have to keep their relationship secret; it would be a huge deal to be gay athletes in Japan (or... anywhere.) Most of their teammates know, though. Like... Sora regularly shows up to practice in Tobi's sweatshirts.

The sexual tension whenever they play each other is intense, though.

(My pet headcanon for Tobi is actually him going to university in America and joining the NBA. While I want to do that with Sora too, the mangaka apparently turned down two anime deals because they ended with Sora in the NBA. I haven't fact-checked that, though.)

They're around 25 when the world as a whole finds out. It either comes out because one of them is like, "hey babe do ya wanna just come out? We have enough money to retire if this goes south," "Oh sure," or because they mess up so drastically that people figure it out. After all, it would take a lot to break past the "they're such good friends!" mentality of sports reporters. Like seriously. These two are not subtle. They can let heteronormativity do most of the work for them, in all honesty. 

Anyway, it comes out, and the media goes into an uproar, and they retreat to visit Sora's dad in Nagano without telling anyone except their coaches and closest friends where they've holed up and just let the world burn while they enjoy tea and the view of the mountains and avoid social media like the plague. 

Assuming it was planned:

Tobi, the day before coming out, on his official twitter: I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my partner for two weeks, so I won't be on social media. Enjoy your week!

Or possibly the way he came out, besides their official announcement on Sora's account, was just "I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my boyfriend, @KurumataniOfficial, for the next two weeks. Bye y'all, have a good two weeks! :)" because that has Tobi's chaotic energy.

Edit: Actually? I take that back. SORA would do that. That has SORA'S chaotic energy.

When people get homophobic, all of their friends -- high school, college, adult life -- are immediately down to throw hands. 

The Japanese highschool circle of people who went professional is small and pretty close-knit, and the NBA and B.League sides are quite close to each other as well. Shiraishi and Fuwa, who are both in the NBA, both riot when people attack their old acquaintances from high school. I personally headcanon Fuwa as a raging chaotic bi, because -- hair. Yozan, for that matter, is also pretty pissed off. 

Fuwa probably gets on twitter and goes, "What's this bullshit about them being gay???? Of course they're gay. Have you ever seen them interact for more than two seconds??? Are you blind??? Wait, nope. Sorry. Don't want to insult blind people. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT DUMB????"

Momoharu tweets," 'Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man' --My twin Chiaki, and Sora and Tobi's HS teammate, upon them coming out in HS" and first Sora's teammates start retweeting it and then Tobi's and then every single one of both their teams’ members retweets it. It's fantastic. 

Then Shiraishi (who, again, is in the NBA) retweets it, and it goes completely viral. Chiaki is so happy but also really pissed that it's Momoharu's account. 

Momoharu ribs him about it for a solid three weeks just to be obnoxious. 

There's actually no one on either of their teams that didn't already know about the relationship. Again, they're not subtle together. If there was any drama, it was presumably resolved by getting rid of the homophobe. 

Anyway, so while shit hits the fan, Sora and Tobi just shelter in place and their friends all react by going to war, which both of them are a bit taken aback by, but like, they aren't complaining about it. They're both touched actually.  

For marriage, honestly, neither one of them proposes in any fancy manner; they probably decided to get married because the topic comes up due to taxes. Sora goes, "Hey, do you think we should get married? The taxes would be cheaper," without really thinking about it, and Tobi goes, "Honestly, if it means everyone will stop badgerin' us about 'tyin' the knot' or whatever, I vote we elope," and that's that. Some two hours later while making dinner, Sora goes, "HOLY SHIT WAIT ARE WE ENGAGED?" and Tobi, who was reading, stares at him for three seconds, processes that, and slowly goes, "...I guess? Yeah, I guess we are. Wow. We did that." 

Sora slams his head on the table and Tobi just very tiredly says, "babe, no, ya need those brain cells." 

Assume gay marriage is by this point legal and accepted.

When asked how they got engaged, everyone is just like, "THAT'S SO ANTICLIMACTIC?????" This is also the media's reaction.

Interviewer: Why did you and Natsume-san decide to get married?

Sora, shrugging: Taxes are easier with your partner when you're married.

But they went to get rings together on their tenth anniversary shortly after deciding to get married, and if that isn't sappy as hell, I don't know what is. 

They probably don't wait long for the wedding and don't bother making it a huge thing; they invite all their friends, hire some folks to keep the media out no matter what, and hire a few people to film it and figure they can share that footage later. ("I am not havin' the media at my weddin' that is a private event for friends and family -" "Love, I am not arguing with you, I don't want them there either???")

Nao will be best woman for one of them at the wedding, and you bet she will give them so much shit for being disasters back in high school in her speech.

Juri, who by that point is like 20 something, because the disaster gays don't get married till they're at least 28 to 30, is either Tobi's best woman or playing some significant role in the wedding. She also roasts her brother and brother-in-law. 

Tobi and Juri are definitely half-siblings, just in terms of time. He looked five or six when his biodad died, and she seems about the same age, meaning there's a ten-year gap. 

Also, it's implied in the manga, so. 

The newly-weds are just sitting there groaning as their friends/family members roast them, but they're both grinning. 

The vows are probably really, really sappy, and Tobi can claim it's Sora's fault as much as he wants, but he's honestly also kind of a sap too and all his friends know it.

Tobi's stepdad is not invited. In fact, Tobi goes out of his way to send an edited version of the invitation to him that basically says, "Wedding! You're not invited!" while Sora and Juri die of laughter in the background. His mother does come, though -- she eventually moved out following the "her younger sister stormed in boiling with righteous fury on behalf of her son" incident. While the couple never got a divorce, they haven't spoken in years. 

The invitees are actually mostly friends, not family. While Sora's dad, grandma, and extended family come, Tobi's only present family are his sister, his aunt, his mother, and his biodad's brother (and the brother's wife and kids.) But they have hundreds of friends there; Nao, Mokichi, Momoharu, Chiaki, Madoka, Yasu, Chukie, Nabe, their kouhai from their second and third years, Satsuki with his wife and two kids, Shiraishi, Fuwa, Yozan, Mineta, Yakku, Nino, Tarou, both of their professional teams and all the team staff, the national team that they played with, Sakamaki, Yuka and Tomohisa’s friends, Madoka's older sister, their college teammates and classmates -- the list literally just doesn't stop. For like. Days. That guest list was the hardest part of the wedding, actually.

The symbol they use on the invitations is a dragon. Momoharu and Nao both cry when they see the nod to the Kuzuryu team. (Chiaki does not cry, he claims. Momoharu calls bullshit, and Momoharu is, for once, completely right.) 

The cake has wing patterns curving up the sides; one kite wing with a healed injury, and a duck wing in front of the silhouette of an eagle wing. ("I'm sappy, Ken, sue me." "Actually, I think that's adorable, so go ahead.") 

The healed injury was Tobi's idea, though. Sora was confused, but Tobi explained that Sora and Kuzuryu brought him back to basketball as a team sport, and healed him from the pain of being pushed away from his family. Sora cries.

The shadow of the eagle wing was also Tobi's idea. He says "I agree that yer a duck because I love ya to pieces but yer still short as shit-" "Oi." "-but I also think ya learned how to fly in yer own right. Swimmin' and duckin' be damned. Ya fly on the court, Sora." 

Sora does not cry again. He does not. ("Sure ya didn't." "SHUT UP KEN-") (He definitely teared up a little, because Tobi is looking at him with a soft smile and the most affectionate look in his eyes, and holy shit, I love him, and I'm going to marry him????

They go to Nagano and Hiroshima to visit their parents' graves after the wedding. Both of them are sappy about it. "I wish you could have met him" speeches, basically, while the other stands out of earshot.

They then proceed to screw off to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks, since it's the offseason. 

Either they combine their names, or Tobi takes Sora's last name.

I feel like Tobi would, just to spite his stepdad. I'm pretty sure Natsume is his stepdad's last name, since Tobi is seen wearing a helmet that is probably his dad's in a flashback, and it has a different name on it. Might've been a company name, though. Idk.

Sora is maybe crying when they change the nameplate on their Tokyo apartment to read "Kurumatani-Natsume Sora and Kurumatani-Natsume Kenji" because "holy shit that's my fucking husband!!!!!"

And Tobi just laughs and wraps his arms around him and drags him down onto the couch to hold him, and Sora thinks that life is good. Very good. 

And if Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and Juri and crew all crash their place five seconds later, well, Sora thinks, that just makes it better. 

wow! if you made it through this entire thing i am grateful to you for reading! and lowkey impressed because this is almost 5000 words. see my Ahiru No Sora Headcanons tag for more! there is also a Sora/Nao relationship headcanons post.

#ahiru no sora #ahiru no sora headcanons #headcanons #kurumatani sora #natsume kenji #kurumatani sora x natsume kenji #tobisora #maybe these two nerds will finally LET ME REST IN P E A C E #go AWAY tobi jesus

[urlocal-lgt-rep]

Be my Valentine?

First fic!! There may be a part two if y'all want..

Pairing: Awkward! Calum and Y/N

You and Michael doubled over in laughter, tears rolling down your face as Luke strutted down the hallway towards you. His hand was on his hip, your old stilettos on his feet, a 5sos crop top revealing his stomach, and an unforgettable pair of booty shorts on.

 Ashton put on a manager's voice through stifled giggles. “Oh, no. Go back to hell Jessica! I've already told you, booty shorts are so last summer.”

 Luke managed to not to laugh, and instead pouted with his stained pink lips. “But baby! Doesn't my butt look poppin’?” he asked, turning around and bending slightly down so we could get a better look at how much was showing.

Michael made a yelping sound and moved his hand in front of his face so he could block his not-so-pleasant view. “Jesus Christ, can you put that thing away?”

“Oh, please, Michael. You wouldn't be saying that if it was Y/N wearing those,” Luke teased. He had always teased the boys about wanting to get together with you, but you had never let it get to your head. After all, the boys were just your friends.

“Excuse me?” you pretended to be offended, “- I would never wear something so 2017.” You turned the conversation back onto Ashton’s critiquing of Luke’s outfit so the boys would be too preoccupied with laughing to notice you weren't. You wanted to reflect for a second on how lucky you were to be here with these boys.

When you had met Aston in primary school, you never expected he would become your best friend. You never expected him to introduce you to three other boys who would become new best friends to you, but here you were. The boys often looked at you like a little sister and treated you like one, too, but you were only a few months younger than Luke- a few months Luke would never let you forget.

   He was constantly teasing you and would never stop cracking jokes. The fans thought of you two as twins since you two got your first piercing together. Luke had long taken his lip ring out, but you kept your septum ring in most of the time. You loved the memory of it. You loved the day that you and Luke came home to the boys with the piercings and how much they freaked out, going absolutely crazy about the new “holes in your face”.

 Ashton was the complete opposite of thrilled when he saw. Sure, it looked nice and all, but do you know what you just did?! “I promised your mother I would take care of you. This is not me taking care of you!” he had exclaimed and made you apologize to your mother (after he had apologized 10 times, of course).

Mikey, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic when he saw. He insisted that now you had joined the “Cool-Guy Club" with him, so Luke asked if he had joined too. Spoiler alert- Michael said no. Michael was like the wild best friend. He spoke his mind and didn't care what others thought which was an easy to admire quality. However, there were also times where he acted like he didn't care at all even if he did. You had watched many of his relationships end because of it.

Calum was the one you talked to the least, but still a close friend. He was often very quiet and shy, but came alive on stage. Many of the fans had labeled him as “thoughtful" or “wise", and they weren't wrong. Cal liked to keep to himself and only added on to a conversation when he had something important to say. It was a trait you didn't have.

 Sure, you could stay quiet, but it wasn't because you were waiting to say something interesting; you had learned to stay quiet since the boys were always doing interviews or videos for the fans and you didn't want to interrupt.

 “Boys! You're on in 10-" one of the men who worked with the boys froze in his tracks as he eyed Luke up and down. “You know what, I'll stall for 15 minutes. Go get ready,” he sighed defeatingly.

 The boys eventually got on stage, although about 20 minutes later than planned. The cheers were something you could never get used to hearing. You sang along with them and mimicked their crazed expressions. Every now and then, one of the boys would look over to you and laugh until Michael started to speak into the mike.

 “Dammit Y/N! I'm trying to play here!” he laughed and the crowd yelled even louder than normal at the mention of you; the boys’ right hand. The fans knew they didn't go anywhere without you so they usually referred to you as the fifth member. They knew you also helped with songwriting and had even written some of the band’s most popular songs.

 But that didn't mean that all the fans loved you. There were plenty of fans who despised you for the relationship you had with the boys. They hadn't deemed you worthy enough of their attention, but here you were anyway, powering through the hate comments. Like any other female that was close to 5sos, there were many hate accounts made especially about you. Sure, what they said hurt. A lot. But you had the support of the boys to keep you going.

After another amazing concert from the boys, they ran off stage. Ash even tried hugging you with his sweaty arms, to which you responded by running away from him and straight into Calum.

Immediately the smell of his cologne filled your nose, but you forced yourself to back up. You mouthed the word “sorry" to him, but then decided to make the best of the situation and pulled him in for another embrace. “Mmm, Calum’s hugs are so wonderful!” you announced, hoping to annoy Ashton.

Calum seemed to get the hint because he nervously placed his hands on your back, only using a small bit a pressure to press you into his chest as if he was afraid to hurt you. “Man, Y/N I really wanted a hug from you. So nice!” he bragged to an infuriated Ashton.

You pulled away from the hug and Calum weakly smiled at you before his arms retreated back to his side. Turning back to Ashton, you stuck your tongue out at him.

 “I'm starving, dude. How about we go eat somewhere?” Michael asked, turning to you with a pouty face. “Please?”

You were usually the one who had to out their foot down when it came to the boys spending money, but you didn't see how a little dinner could hurt. Besides, you were pretty hungry too, so you nodded at him.

“Oh, yeah! Time to feast!” Michael exclaimed along with cheers from the other boys.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

The five of you entered the not easily selected restaurant with frowns on all of your faces except for Luke, who was giddy from having win the rock-paper-scissors championship you had had in the car as a way of choosing a place to eat. Upon your arrival, the waitress told you that a table of five wasn't available, but that you could have a booth if you wanted. You eyed the hungry boys and decided sooner was better than later.

Once you were led to the booth, Ashton frowned. “Who's going to be 3 to a seat and who's going to be 2?”

“Another rock-paper-scissors war?” Luke let his swelled ego show.

You all agreed to it, but the results were not in your favor. Luke and Michael got to sit together while you, Ashton, and Calum ended up having to squeeze next to each other. For some reason, Ashton thought having you in the middle was an amazing idea, so here you were- squished between Ashton Irwin and Calum Hood. From a fangirl’s point of view, this would be heaven. From your point of view, it was hell.

You all ordered your drinks, but as they came to the table you realized you couldn't really move your arms to reach it. Calum, who was sitting on the open end of the booth, ended up having to grab your food and drinks for you.

“Thanks, Cal. I'm sorry I can't reach; it's not easy being short!”

The quiet boy smiled sheepishly at you and went to out his hand back down before realizing that he accidentally put his hand on your thigh. “Shit, Y/N! I'm so sorry! It was a complete accident. I swear I'm not a perv-"

His rambling were cut off my your unusually weakened voice. “It's- It's completely fine!” You were caught entirely off guard by his hand- his warm, gentle hand… Stop Y/N! There was an undeniable tingle it had given you, a feeling you longed to have again. But it wasn't because Calum! It must've been a long time since you've gotten laid, that's all. Nothing to do with one of your closest friends.

For the rest of the meal, Calum was quiet and so were you. The boys expected it from Cal, but it was a complete surprise from you.

 “Y/N!!! Why won't you talk to me?!” Luke whined.

 “Because, Luke, she doesn't like you.” Michael said as if it was common knowledge.

“What? And she likes you? I'm her best friend!” Luke threw a fry at Michael, to which Michael threw a fry back and started a food war. Sadly, the war was ended before a winner was selected due to you guys getting kicked out of the restaurant.

Calum sighed. “Why don't we just go home a watch a movie before any of you get us banned from another restaurant,” he huffed, glaring at the initiate.

“Amazing idea! Can we stop at the store to get some food for the movie?” you looked at Calum with puppy eyes.

He didn't meet your gaze, and instead looked in the opposite direction. “Sure. I guess- I guess we can make a stop.”

 After getting kicked out of another store (trust me, you don't wanna know), you guys finally arrived home. Ashton put the chosen horror film on as you made the guys popcorn. Ashton had you sit next to him once again with Calum and Michael in other chairs and Luke on the ground.

 Shortly after the movie started, you noticed what you thought to be someone staring at you. You tried to look in the direction of those eyes, but you couldn't see anything. The only people there were Luke and Cal, but none of them were looking at you. You decided it was just the movie getting to you. Until it happened again and you swore you saw Calum’s brown eyes looking at you. Before you could meet his eyes, Calum quickly turned his head away from you and back at the movie. After that, no matter how many times you glanced in his direction, you never caught staring again. You decided not to try again, but the temptation was too powerful. You looked again and saw he was sleeping. Unfortunately for you, Luke was not.

 “Y/N, I know I'm hot, but please stop staring,” he teased.

 “What?” Ashton asked. He was always protective when it came to you maybe having a crush on one of the boys.

“Nothing, Ash. Luke's just full of himself,” you teased back.

Soon enough, all the boys had fallen asleep so you decided it was time to go back home. You didn't love far, but you also didn't want to sleep at the boy's house without invitation.

As you grabbed your keys, a tired voice startled you. “Where’re you goin’?”

“Home, Cal,” you couldn't help but smile at how how words slurred together in a sleepy mess.

“It's pretty late. Are you sure you want to walk down there? You know you could always stay here,” he offered, getting up from the chair and walking towards you. He rubbed at his eyes as if to make him more awake.

“It's okay Calum-"

“You know it's what Ashton would want,” he interrupted you with a point you knew would agree with .

“Well….if you think that's what I should do…”

“It's what- It's whatever you want. You don't need to do it because I said so or anything. I'll even walk you home, just let me grab my coat and keys and-”

You cut him off with a kiss on the cheek. It was nothing special; you did it to the rest of the boys, but you had never done it to Calum. “Thanks for the concern, Cal, but I'll be fine. I'd like to sleep in Ash’s bed. It's payback time!”

It took Calum a few seconds, but he finally found his voice over his flushed cheeks. “Payback? What did he do?”

“Had drunk sex in my bed,” you shrugged your shoulders. You were mostly over it, but you weren't going to pass up an opportunity to get back at him for it.

 Calum openly laughed, something he didn't do often. You smiled at his crinkled eyes and wide smile; you decided you wanted to see more of it. “I'm not going to ask. You know where his room is, right? I'll be right next to your room if you need anything. Don't be afraid to ask, I probably won't be sleeping tonight. You know, songwriting and all. And now I'm rambling again.  It's a tired thing. Well I'm actually going to go now so I can shut up. Sleep well, Y/N.” Calum awkward walked away as you giggled.

  Damn, you didn't realize it could be so nice around him. You realized you really wanted to get to know him better. The thought dominated your mind for the rest of the night until you fell asleep to an unrecognizable song Calum was singing in the room next to you.

 I love the light in your eyes and the dark in your heart

You love our permanent chase and the bite of our bark

We know we're classic together like Egyptian gold

We love us

#calum 5sos #luke 5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos funny #5sos #ashton 5sos #5sos fam #5sos fanfic #5sos fluff #5sos fic #calum fanfic #calum fluff #calum fic #calum 5 seconds of summer

[fairrose22]

"I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak, there ain't no denying the truth!" ~"DC Talk"

[mewwt]

10, 11, 15 for the identity ask thing (and yes, I know House of Leaves is probably gonna be on there already but I don't care, I love when you get excited about it)

10. do you have a creed?Okay, I’m unfamiliar with the term “creed” so I googled and got basically just religion-based faith system, to which I say “maybe?” Growing up in a loosely protestant Christian household (my Grandmother was the only real person who regularly went to Church across the street, although I did go to “Vacation Bible School” until I was too old) I lived around that a lot and as I got older, I just kinda didn’t really care about it or believe in it. However, I’d consider myself agnostic, as my thought process was “I don’t know for sure, so I won’t dedicate my entire life to it, but if they say is true, God/Jesus will forgive me or whatever so I’d be fine.” Holy shit this answer is getting long. Anywho, since meeting you and some others, including Rion, I’ve gotten more exposure to more pagan and wiccan beliefs and am still learning about that (so who knows, years down the line I may consider myself part of that belief line), I’m still labeling myself agnostic for now, but I also have been feeling a lot of pulls in the direction of Norse deities and mythological figures, specifically Yggdrasil.

11. describe your ideal day.I don’t even know what my ideal day would be anymore. Each day I’m just chipping away at a huge to-do list and I just want it to be done. Once it’s over, then I figure out my ideal day each day and do it.15. five most influential books over your lifetime.You’re damn fuckin’ right House of Leaves is on that list!Hmm.. Goosebumps. Like, the entire series I read as a kid. Really fed my young horror-loving tendencies. The Cirque du Freak and Demonata series also did similar fire-fanning. Most of my reading was done in school prior to high school and those parts of my life are a bit of a blur, so it’s hard to say, but I do remember those three series vividly as a part that stuck around through chunks. House of Leaves was the first book in my more recent, clearer memory, and probably the most influential of them all. I’m currently reading Code Junkie by Jeffrey Koval Jr. (the co-creator of one of my favorite webseries, EverymanHYBRID so I’m super biased), but I’m currently loving it.Oh, and bonus number 6, The Hounds of Tindalos, as it feeds into the Cthulhu mythos with some concepts I love, but also my boyfriend got it for me as an anniversary/valentine’s day gift a year after I talked about it being rare and hard to find for cheap (which he did find, for cheap, I mean).

Wow, this got real long.

[sashank-kanchustambam]

Cliché Love 3

EPISODE 3: Vibe-Killer March

 

                              RAVNEET

"I don't want labels" is the dumbest thing to say. Imagine your mom saying that she doesn't want the label of 'mom'. Or your dog barking that he doesn't want the label of 'dog'. Isn't it dumb? Then why isn't it considered dumb when it comes in the context of a romantic relationship. When we're doing everything that boyfriend-girlfriends do, why can't she call me her boyfriend? It's fine though. I'm happy with what we have...I guess. 

            I love Tuesdays. Just one 9 AM class and I'm done for the day. I sit at RINGELS, my favorite dining hall,  hoping that no one I know shows up. “Ravneet...Neet... Ravneet ” I heard a familiar voice scream unusually loud. I felt like a broken dream. I lifted my head up to see who it was. Rebecca it was. Arya's roommate Becca. She's hella fun. My broken dream got joint again. “What's up boii” she screamed. I stuck my hand out for a shake hand. She somehow turned my normal, cliche, formal shake hand into a cool one. She let my hand stay there and did some cool shit around it. Such a cool human.  

“Oof!! That's crazy” I said. “I am crazy”. After talking for a few minutes she asked "Want to smoke a joint?" . I never did drugs before that. It felt like a good time to debut; so, I went with the flow. We sneaked out.

                                    ARYA

  Commitment can be a bitch. Once you have the tag of ‛relationship’ or ‛girlfriend’, you can't see that person normally again. You start having expectations. They start having expectations. And your life starts revolving around them. I mean ,sure, they're very important and what we feel for them is very fucking special. But what about my family, my close friends, my TV shows and my whole ass career? That shit is very important too. In fact, if we group all this against that one person... this group weighs much fucking more , and my life has never revolved around only any of these. Then why the fuck should it go around that one mother fucker? 

    

              I was walking back from an audition for a play. Hope I get the part. I hear a 'dug dug dug dug' sound of a skateboard follow me. It was Pourush. He's a fun guy; all of Ravneet's roommates are fun .  "stop stop stop stop" I said while spreading my hands wide. He braked and smiled. "Oh shitt!! Aryaa!! what's up, dude?"

"nothing much I was here for the audition... Oh wait you're a theatre major right"

"Yeah. I was here for the audition too. I read the play last night. It's dope. You're minoring in theatre right?"

Oh god these theatre people! How do they read whole ass plays in a night?

                               

                           RAVNEET        

I thought that weed probably doesn't work on me cause I felt nothing. It made me cough so much, though . "See you later Ravneet! I have class" I offered to walk along. There was this silence when we were walking; it wasn't awkward exactly, but it was there. She chose the worst question to break that silence. 

"So" She gave a gap after that, waiting for me to look at her. "How are things with Arya?" She asked shamelessly. Is it cool? Is it cool to ask people about their romantic relationships? It was too late to think about that. "It's great dude. Like I've never had something like this before you know. It feels really good, And Arya is such a... I don't know I love spending time with her"

"Awwwww!! That's so cute. OOOOOOOO. You're blushing"

I can't control it. Every time I think about her I turn into an apple.

"So you're happy with her then"

"yeah!! but..."

"But what??"

I think I should have kept that 'but' to myself. Becca doesn't take ‛no’ as an answer and I don't know how to say ‛no’. So I blurted my opinion about labels out. After saying the same thing in 4 different ways, I realized that the weed probably was working.

"Don't give me all your bullcrap mom and dog examples...You're just insecure Ravneet"

Her honesty kills me; It took me time to process it. "Huh?" I replied after a very long gap.

"listen! The last time she was in a relationship...like in 11th grade. Everything went downhill for her. She didn't talk to her parents. Her grades fell like crazy. The only thing she cared about was her boyfriend. She didn't like that version of herself. She's scared. She's scared that you'll become her everything. She doesn't want that. And that tart thinks it'll help if you don't name the relationship. She’s not doing this to fuck around"

Okay, first of all. I don't know if the weed was making her do this or if this is how she is. This woman, Rebecca, doesn't understand boundaries. She tells her best friend's personal stuff to someone who didn't even ask about it. She asks a guy she hardly knows about his love life. All that said, I'm glad she said all this. It's weird how seeing stuff from the other person's perspective solves half of the problems.

 

                               ARYA

   We were walking without a destination in mind. I don't know how our conversation moved from the auditions to my 11th-grade boyfriend; I guess that's how conversations work most of the time. "Is that why you decided not to date-date Ravneet yet". I nodded my head with honesty and a tinge of embarrassment. "Okay, so I know what I say doesn't matter, but listen" I hate it when people say that. Why the fuck would you say it if it didn't matter. "I don't think it was you. I think it was him". What the fuck did he just say? "I think the reason your life was revolving around him was probably because of how she treated you. I know Ravneet really well cause we basically live inside each other. He wouldn't want that for you" This Pourush guy should major in psychology for sure. Things made so much more sense. My ex was clingy even before we liked each other. I was probably attracted to the cling back then.

                                                                               

                             POURUSH

     Someone has rightly said that the guy with the greatest relationship advice remains single all his life. 

     We walked right into Ravneet and Becca. Coincidence? I think not. Even before anyone could say anything, Arya pulled out the Bandanna from my head (without asking me by the way) and went down to her knees. "Give me your hand Garlic". Eww, wtf is Garlic. Anyways, her Garlic was lost in his thoughts. I've never seen him that lost...he's usually attentive. People tend to go off character sometimes I guess. "Garlic!!" she yelled.

                                                                       

                          REBECCA

Probably shouldn't have let him smoke that much for his first time. "huh??" he responded. "give me your hand" she said. After he stuck his hand out she tied Pourush's bandanna on his hand and said, "Will you be the boyfriend to my girlfriend Ravneet?" I have no idea why she phrased it like that, but it was kinda cute. "What? Who's your girlfriend Arya?" he responded. "I'm asking you to be my boyfriend you dumb bitch". His face froze for a few seconds. After he recovered from that shock he said "yes baby!!" and broke into laughter. Their hands were moving towards each other. "Rockabye baby Rockabye" rang Ravneet's phone, changing the direction of Ravneet’s hand towards his phone instead. Damn it! I was so excited to see them hold hands. "hello" he said. I could see nervous excitement on his face. He ran away like a bullet train that's going reverse, without saying anything. "hug me at least you dumb bitch!!" Arya screamed. He turned around and gave a hand gesture suggesting ‛TOMORROW’ and gave a flying kiss. "such a cutie" she said while blushing.

                              RAVNEET

There's this international FIFA tournament that I and my gamer friend, messi_69.94, have been winning since 2 years. Literally, none of my other friends know about this. I rushed to his house for it. I can not afford to miss it cause it happens only once a year. It was FIFA time. While beating people all over the world at FIFA, I put my hand in my pocket to get my phone, but it wasn't there. I thought that I dropped it somewhere. I would freak out otherwise. But I was so engrossed in FIFA that I couldn't give a feces. And my mind was moving too slow to care anyways.

                              ARYA

 "HOLY FUCK!!" Rebecca exclaimed. 

"what?" I asked

"All classes and Exam are moving online because of the virus dude"

"Corona?"

I seriously didn't know that it was that big an issue. My phone rang all of a sudden. It didn't seem right. Guess what? It wasn't. My mom got the email and freaked out. She booked my flight back to the UK on the same day. "Mom I'll stay here". "what is wrong with you Arya? All countries will go into lockdowns. And the US is in a pretty bad position. Don't be stupid and start packing". I understood my mom's concern and said ‘okay’. I thought to myself that I still have a few hours to spend with Ravneet. I rung him up. 94 calls. 80 text messages. 56 Instagram DMs. 3 E-mails. 0 REPLIES.His roommates didn't know where he was either. He never does this. He usually replies in 2 seconds. This broke my heart. I can never forgive him for this. I got so broken up. I wanted to see him and hug him once before leaving. I deserved that hug. Fuck you Ravneet. Fuck you.

                                                       

                             RAVNEET

I woke up and looked at the wall clock. It was 2 PM of the next day. Jesus Christ! I slept for 16 hours. I opened up my laptop to check my Emails. 'Garlic, I'm going back to Manchester today because of the corona thing...Please meet me before I leave'.

            “FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”

I swore after two whole years. It's difficult to make yourself cry. But, once you start it's difficult to stop. Very difficult. Should have said “NO” to the weed.

THE END

                                                          

#young adult #teenagers #i love him #i love her