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ringmyheart · 3 years

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Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

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jungxk · 3 years

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// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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hoonface · 7 years

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11 QUESTIONS GAME THINGY

Tagged by the beautiful @s-lay-ing !! Thank you so much for tagging me and I hope you get to know me better through all these games! (I’m sorry if I missed one or two omg I’m gonna go check after this) and it was so fun! I really enjoy getting to know everyone a bit better and I hope you like my...eccentricities? This was so fun to do, and thanks again!

Tagging: @wonuthewhale @healinghoshi @jisoosmeoli @jisoominghao and my new friend, @vitaminniedk !!! And of course anyone else who wants to do this because I would absolutely love to get to know you all better <3

Here’s the thing: either you answer the questions I answered OR you answer the questions I made at the bottom, as simple as that. Then create another 11 questions IF you wish 😅

a8, here we go:

• What are your five favorite songs from your bias group? Seventeen: Mansae, Adore U, Very Nice, Pretty U, Healing & Smile Flower

• What are your five favorite songs (kpop) not from your bias group?

Bangtan’s Not TODaY

BlackPink’s As If It’s Your Last

Hey Mama – EXO CBX

Love Paint – Nu’est Cause that song is SO GOOD YALL ARE SLEEPING ON TALENT

BTS’ Lost

Honourable mentions: Twice’s TT CAUSE ITS SO CATCHY, Infinite’s The Eye (lord my first thoughts on Sungjong were “Yoon Jeonghan when he had blonde long hair”, Jin’s Awake.

• What are your five favorite non-kpop songs? oh goDDDD YOURE DIGGING UP MY PAST XDD

You just want ATTENTION YOU DON’T WANT MY LOVE – Charlie Puth’s Attention

Cake By The Ocean – DNCE ( I don’t know it’s just catchy leaf me alone)

Of course you can’t have Justin Bieber not here even though I don’t really like him himself XD – Cold Water

Jess Glynne’s Hold My Hand

Immortals – Fall Out boy

• Who is your bias and why do you like them? LEE JIHOOOOOOOOON OH MY GOD okay.

I love baby because as much as I love all thirteen of my dorks, I can’t imagine having anyone else as my bias. Yes, I had stanning issues and I admittedly still do, Choi Seungcheol is still my main bias wrecker after lol what 11 months? You can’t just forget your first bias. Anyway, because. Lee Jihoon makes my heart so soft, every time he’s adorable, he doesn’t even have to try. He makes me so happy and he’s just such a hard working person and what is there he cannot do? Like what 5 instruments? Studied classical music? Dances like an adorable little fluff bumblebee BUT IS ACTUALLY OKAY BUT HIS BODY MIGHT BE SMALL BUT HIS CHARISMA IS NO JOKE AND YOU ARE NOT LIVING IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD HIM RAP. He’s just so talented, I mean like violin with EDM and Jeonghan’s voice, he’s just such a genius. I have never heard so much music that I love and admire and appreciate so much and it just feels like a blessing to love him. I mean like you mean I get to love him? For free? Like there’s no catch? Are you kidding me? I still can’t believe he’s real and we get to love him. He’s just I just love him. I can’t really explain why, but I can tell you that as much as I do love all 13 of my sunshines, I can’t imagine not being Jihoon biased. As much as I am in danger of becoming Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and anyone else trashed, at the end of the day I still love Woozi the most. I hope that word vomit of fangirling made sense.

• What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”? My style is “black.” Like actually, I wear a LOT OF BLACK AND yeah hoodies, jumpers, sweaters, pullovers, leggings and sometimes jeans, the like.

• For your bias group, what was your favorite hair style/era for each member? Seungcheol: hmmmm well I really liked the black hair he did during Caratland and the brown hair he had during Weekly Idol.

Hannie: fight me on this, but I think Jeonghan looks like a majestic gorgeous angel with any hair colour. I mean like okay Adore U Killed me so hard because WHAT THE HELL. HOW CAN HE BE SO DAMN PRETTY IM CRYING BRB MY HEART IS BLEEDING ok im back anyway I also really love the short brown/red hair he had like in between Going Seventeen and Al1 hold up let me get a photo to bless you all:

Josh: I NEED JOSH’S MANSAE HAIR BACK. NOT NECESSARILY FOREHEAD UP BUT LIKE FOREHEAD WOULD BE APPRECIATED BUT LOOK AT HIS FLUFFY ORANGE HAIR IN MANSAE DANCE PRACTICE I NEED THAT BACK AND ALSO JOSH WITH BROWN HAIR. I know im not stating eras LOL

Jun: honestly, like now? I really like his hair now. Junhui always just looks 1000103293%

Hosh: now as well? I really like him with black hair, he looks cute af LETS NOT FORGET THE BROWN HAIR TOO

Wonwoo: THE HAIR HE HAD AT CARATLAND. ADORE U CAUSE BLACK HAIRED WONWOO OH LOOOOOOOORDDDD AND HIM WITH GLASSES SUCH CUTE

OOJI: this is such a hard decision. Yes, I do miss his blonde small ponytail sticking out from 17 Project, but his PiNK FOREHEAD HAIR IN ADORE U IN THE SMALL OVAL GOOOODDDD and I also KASDHKASDHKASDHKASHDKJASDH HIM WITH BROWN HAIR YALL IM FANGIRLING SO HARD LIKE IM WAVING MY HANDS AS IF SOMEONES WATCHING ME OKAY LEE JIHOON DURING THE ASIAN ARTIST AWARDS AND HIM WITH THE BROWN HAIR AND THE FRINGE I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

DK: his Adore U hair. Thank you.

Mingyu: ok Mingyu was my second bias after Seungcheol and tbh Seungcheol wasn’t my bias for long but it feels like it was long because I died a lot because of him and not just at the time he was my bias like for example, last night when It was revealed HIS HAIR IS SILVER WYD SEUNGCHEOL anyway but the Mansae era ^tm goD THAT WAS A BLESSING and him with brown hair is really cute too but I also really like him with black hair heck basically almost everything

The8: tbh like now? I didn’t really like his metallic greeny silver hair he had near Adore U and his ramen head wasn’t the best XD but lord MINGHAO IS KILLING ME THESE COUPLE ERAS

Seungkwan: THE FREAKING UM ROSE GOLD WHY DID PLEDIS NOT KEEP THAT LIKE ACTUALLY OH MY GOD THE FIRST CRAZY IN LOVE STAGE ASDHSKJADHSKJDH IM SO PISSED PLEDIS DIDN’T KEEP THAT

Vernon: hiS BLACKKKKKKK OR THE Q & A MV HAIR ALSDHASDKJAS

Dino: now. He looks so damn good and I can’t say I miss his astro boy hair back in Mansae XD

• How did you “discover” kpop and how did you discover vixx? OK SO IT WAS A FATEFUL AUGUST 25TH 2016! A THURSDAY AFTERNOON AFTER SCHOOL! I hopped onto my computer after school. So like theres this Korean girl group at my school that walks around sometimes singing songs or just yelling at each other in Korean XD and at first I was like …kpop? DON’T KILL ME FOR THIS BUT LETS BE REAL EVERYONES FIRST THOUGHT ON KPOP IS GANGNAM STYLE. And so since I do like watching choreography very much, I searched on YouTube, hardest kpop dances. One of the videos there showed Mansae hide ver. Of the dance practice and I was like oh this looks nice and its catchy too *makes mental note to youtube that later* *youtubes it* it starts to play the MV and I was like is this song I was looking for? And then I got to the chorus and I’m just like ALSDHJLASDKJLSKAJKLJ and I BASICALLY CRASHED INTO THE FANDOM OVERNIGHT AND IT WAS SO FUN BECAUSE I GOT TO SLOWLY DROWN MYSELF IN EVERY MEMBER LOL and Vixx? Uhhh I just heard about them somewhere XD but Shangri-la sounds really nice, it sounds like Chinese music but it’s in Korean, I like it. • What does your phone case look like? Fun fact about me: I actually don’t have a phone case. My parents are the type to not spend money on “useless things” and a phone case is one of them (well for me anyway) and I have a vintage iPhone 4S, and all the cases that I do have are from my relatives or something and I don’t like the cases XD there’s this one black one that I would use except I can’t turn it off cause the off button part of the case is really hard. So yeah! No phone case and it makes it even thicker ._. oh yeah I lost my phone lmao

• Do you normally browse Tumblr on your phone or on pc? PC. Depends if my phone/tab has been confiscated or not tbh XD but normally PC so I can save photos and it’s a lot faster.

• How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night? eh. Alright I guess, tonight all I have to do is practise piano and because I just started school again, there’s no homework~~~

Now, my questions:

1_ a girl group choreo you’d love to see a boy group do

Tbh I don’t watch girl group choreo (NOTE: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GIRL GROUPS AND THEIR CHOREO I JUST DON’T WATCH IT FOR SOME REASON BUT I LIKE BLACKPINK AND YEAH) I’d like to see Seventeen dance to Boombayah XD THAT HAIR SWINGING HAHAHAHA I WANT JEONGHAN DOING THE HAIR SWINGING THING 2_ a boy group choreo you’d love to see a girl group do

Any girl group dance to Mansae pls and thank you 3_ sm, jype, yg and pledis do a world tour individually and set up their concerts on the same day, different venues obviously: which one would you attend? (as in smtown, happy pledis etc)

Definitely Pledis. Actually tbh its not Seventeen I won’t go, cause I only stan one group and wouldn’t spend money on a concert showing a group I don’t stan. 4_ a kpop song that is a guilty pleasure for you? Uhhh tbh I don’t really have any guilty pleasures in kpop, but I mean like I guess TT? Even though I wouldn’t feel guilty listening to that? 5_ a dream kpop x western artist collab? …I would like to see Seventeen collab with one of their idols :D 6_ monster/lucky one or lotto? Pretty u or very nice? Beautiful or shine forever? (Repackage edition B) )

I haven’t heard Lucky so I’m going with Lotto. WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN PRETTY U AND AJU NICE kahsdkjsh …lord this is so hard- pass. I haven’t heard Shine Forever, so Beautiful. 7_ what’s the sickest you’ve attended school/uni/work etc?

Sickest? Uh I have been sick enough to stay home but I went to school because I’m a responsible girl who takes schoolwork seriously. Or was it cause it was exam period lol. 8_ adore u or shining diamond? mansae or rock? pretty u or chuck? very nice or healing? boom boom or smile flower? don’t wanna cry or crazy in love? (I’m running out of questions 😂)

Adore U, Mansae, Pretty U, Healing, Smile Flower, Don’t Wanna Cry. (that was s ohard omG) 9_ are you some sort of patriotic? (Not the “fuck the rest of the world we’re number one and we’ve never done anything wrong” kind, but idk, do you identify with your country? its customs, traditions etc?)

…I don’t even know what patriotic means omg I feel uneducated. Ahh…um no not really XD 10_ have you watched studio ghibli movies? If so, which one is your favorite?

I watched Spirited Away when I was very young I think and I watched it in Japanese with Chinese sub which I cannot read ._. 11_ if I traveled to your country, which places would you recommend me to visit?

…honestly there’s nothing that good in Australia XDD but I guess if you like steak, go for it? And the Gold Coast and we have a couple theme parks, Sydney Opera House I guess? To see where seventeen SHOT THEIR HEALING MV AKSDHASKJDH and Luna Park? Tbh I haven’t been that much around Australia I am a crap tour guide I apologise sincerely.

#tag games #thank you so much omg #s-lay-ing #mutuals

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lovelesswiki · 7 years

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Post-Moonless predictions— Soubi’s mental state (2/10)

previous part<--[here] --> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax--the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: after the moonless battle, soubi will fall back into a catatonic state, become deeply depressed, and become actively suicidal. this will be following constant abusive treatment from seimei and soubi essentially giving up on everything.

NOTE: this post will be discussing suicide and abuse in explicit terms. this is a warning for that. also, this post is one of the most important, since i mostly focus on ritsuka in the others, for reasons that ill be discussing in this post.

i strongly suspect that everything after the moonless battle will become worse for soubi, somehow.

before the moonless battle, we see soubi falling into what i can only describe as a near catatonic state. it’s seen at a couple times in the manga that when soubi gets extremely depressed or witnesses something horrible, he locks up completely. after the oath that seimei forces soubi to recite and seimei’s attitude that they lost, i can only imagine that this will get even worse.

catatonia, for those that dont know, is a mental state in which the sufferer goes into a state of immobility where they refuse to do everything or almost everything. it’s a sign of various psychotic disorders, including depression with psychotic features. usually, catatonia presents with things such as mutism, stupor, negatism (refusal to do things that they need to do such as eating), and agitation, and it does often present after a traumatic or shocking event. if any of this sounds familiar, you’d be right, because soubi presents this very clearly in the events following being taken from ritsuka.

(i know soubi is in no way normal, but he certainly doesnt act like this all the time)

in addition to this, soubi has apparently asked and forgotten nakahira’s name multiple times, enough that nakahira is angry about it and calls soubi out for being rude. he also ignores any offers for food and, as nakahira points out, has done nothing but sit in that state since he arrived at the house. he doesnt appear to even have slept.

(im going to go out on a limb here and say that soubi probably did actually forget his name and legitimately wasn’t intentionally being a shitty person.)

in the same chapter, we see that the only thing that rouses soubi is seimei, and every panel after that, soubi is shown to be in what looks to be immense pain. his expressions are very exaggerated and hurt and it literally looks like hes getting a nail driven through his hand again. im not going to show every panel of this, because im not kidding. it’s every panel that shows soubi from the beginning of chapter 105 to right up to where we are currently in the manga, save for the hallucination soubi has about his life back at home, but we’ll be getting to that soon.

the worst of this intense emotional pain, though, is when seimei forces soubi to recite an oath. soubi looks to be in the worst pain hes been in through the entire duration of the manga, and that’s including getting a nail through his hand and when seimei showed up at seven voices and forced soubi to let him escape. truth be told, i think this scene is where soubi crosses the line from being extremely depressed and hopeless to something actually worse. in short, i think this is the moment soubi realizes that there is nothing else besides this, and there’s no way out.

so, before we delve too deep into that, let’s talk about something related. let’s talk about seimei and what’s going to happen directly after the moonless battle in relation to seimei’s state of mind.

i heavily suspect that we’re going to see some of seimei’s violence towards soubi, as well as nisei. we have flashbacks and a current timeline with seimei and soubi where seimei acts very cruelly and abusive towards soubi, but we’ve never seen him actually get physical with him (with the exception of his naming). despite this, it’s been stated multiple times by multiple characters that soubi was beaten by him and we see him at one point during a flashback with kio where soubi’s hand is badly injured and it doesn’t seem to be from a battle. seimei won the battle against moonless, but is clearly displeased with how they won and how close it was, as well as with the fact that nisei was defeated, and in the time between taking him back and now, seimei seems particularly displeased with the way soubi acts and speaks. i believe this is going to come to some sort of a pinnacle where seimei’s physical treatment of soubi (and nisei) is going to be shown in order to trigger readers and fans into a concrete and undeniable belief that seimei is a piece of shit.

(not that he isn’t already, but physical violence tends to be a very ‘in-your-face’ type of thing that cannot be ignored or looked over or even easily forgotten. everyone remembers it and it tends to be huge in storytelling, especially with characters who are trying to be negatively portrayed. while it’s easy to overlook the scenes with rampant emotional and verbal abuse, it’s not easy to overlook scenes with rampant physical abuse. this is why we remember misaki’s treatment of ritsuka and ritsu’s treatment of soubi much more than we remember, say, nagisa’s treatment of the zeroes, despite the fact that she’s hit at least youji. this is also why readers much more easily dislike characters like ritsu and misaki over nagisa and seimei.)

(this scene isn’t remembered very often, even.)

(soubi’s injury is implied to be seimei’s doing, but it’s never confirmed or explicitly shown, although that type of injury is easily done with a knife. i wonder who’s proficient with knives...?)

so, right now we have a seimei that is displeased for a multitude of reasons. first, we have soubi, who’s depressed, unwilling to do much, and who has begun questioning seimei and talking back to him. he won the moonless battle, but only after beloved as a whole was half defeated. and then we have nisei. i feel bad for nisei, because i do not see this turning out well for him at all. nisei lost. nisei was defeated. nisei was weak. nisei couldnt do what he was ordered. nisei forced seimei to rely on soubi to win a battle because nisei couldnt do what he was ‘created’ to do. nisei is useless to seimei, and an embarrassment. there is no way at all that seimei is even remotely happy with nisei, and this is something that i think is going to play out horribly for him, and something that will greatly affect soubi, as well.

to see why, we need to understand soubi and nisei’s relationship. up until very recently, soubi hated nisei with every fiber of his being. he vowed over and over that he would kill him. at the moonless battle, soubi was given a wide and huge opportunity to carry this out and kill nisei, but instead chose to take pity on him. the look that soubi gave nisei in the moment before he put a sleep spell on him wasn’t one of hatred, but one that looked as if soubi pitied him, like he felt sorry for him after watching him be defeated and be beaten up right in front of seimei. soubi seemed understanding, almost, and i think in that moment he came to a greater understanding that being the beloved fighter isn’t an honor. it’s a curse.

i don’t think soubi is going to fair well if he witnesses nisei being punished for his failure during the battle. similarly, i dont think soubi is going to fair well if he is punished or pushes seimei to anger, either.

the entire series, up until seimei taking soubi back, has partially been about soubi building a sense of identity that involves being an actual person and not a thing. at this point, i doubt soubi would react well at all to being beaten or punished for winning a battle too closely, nor do i think he would react well to seeing nisei be punished for having to drop out of a 2 vs 1 battle, humiliating seimei as he did so. in fact, i think this would push soubi towards an edge that i think is going to become very clear in the coming chapters.

to put it simply, with soubi’s characterization and the events leading up to now, i strongly suspect that soubi will become suicidal to a degree. maybe it’s a large degree that pushes him towards an actual choice. maybe it’s to a lighter degree. given what yun has said about the climax and everything, i think it may be the former, and thats what im going to work off of here.

let me break this down a little bit: soubi’s life revolves around the possibility of death. throughout the series, it’s implied that fighters like soubi dont tend to live very long and that soubi is ‘old’ for a fighter. many characters also tell him, to his face, that soubi should have already killed himself and that he didnt deserve to live after seimei’s ‘death’ and that he’d be better off dead. soubi has one reason why he didn’t kill himself after seimei’s death and seemed to be passively suicidal then, too. but, above all, soubi wants out. you know the only way that soubi has been told that he can get out from seimei’s rule? the only way he could leave the life he currently leads? by dying.

(the ol’ ‘ha ha you’ll be dead and in the ground before i ever do that’ routine)

seimei tells soubi here that the only way he can leave or escape is if he dies. seimei makes that very clear, and this scene and the chapters that follow it are some of the most distressing chapters for soubi. something is very clearly wrong with him in these chapters. while soubi can be a hard character to understand, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that soubi is not acting like he usually does. he’s catatonic and depressed. hes refusing food and seems to be lost in his thoughts all the time. he looks like hes in immense pain at every second. he does not look or sound good at all. on top of this, other characters comment on it too.

let’s also talk about that last image a little, too. mikado calls soubi out for drifting away after soubi gets lost in what seems to be a hallucination. i say hallucination because during it, even soubi seems a bit surprised at the outcomes of certain things, though he doesn’t question it. if it were a fantasy or a daydream, he wouldn’t be shocked by, say, ritsuka being able to get permission to stay over at his apartment. and after being taken out of that moment, soubi does seem a little disorientated and not sure where he is, as seen in the way he reaches out for the rain and doesn’t appear to be able to respond.

soubi hallucinates during the battle about his home life and specifically, about the small family he’s built for himself involving ritsuka, natsuo, youji, and kio. in this hallucination, he takes care of the three kids and has ritsuka’s friends over and even comments that it’d be nice to live together. the threat of seimei or of being attacked by opposing teams doesn’t seem to exist in this small world of soubi’s, and he doesn’t seem particularly worried about anything. aside from a comment he makes about shutting ritsuka’s mother up, he seems fairly normal, even. and then he’s torn away from it and put back into the battle, at which point he makes this comment:

soubi’s thoughts in this moment definitely read as an admission of guilt and reluctance. hes very upset in this moment, after being torn away from a reality he’d created to try to deal with things, and he’s realizing that there’s no one around who will comfort him and tell him that it’s alright, and that things are only going to continue to get worse. from this monologue, soubi also seems to not want to fight moonless at all. he doesnt seem to want to participate in the battle, but he’s acknowledging that he doens’t have a choice. soubi doesnt want any part in this battle, and id even wager to say that hes on moonless’s side and wants seimei apprehended. however, he also seems to know that if he fights, that won’t happen. it was the same at seven voices--soubi very clearly did not want to let seimei escape and he did willingly chase him down with ritsuka, but was forced to let him get away with it and then locked down afterwards due to shock and guilt, even going as far as to try to convince ritsuka that he was a bad person afterwards.

soubi really, really seems to want to be ‘good’ and do what the ‘good’ people want him to do. he didnt argue with ritsu at seven voices when ritsu told him to apprehend seimei, and he went as far as to talk back at seimei when he thought seimei was patronizing ritsuka. he didnt want to break that window and allow seimei to get away, but he had to. soubi is a character who seems to very much want to be ‘good’, but is forced to keep doing ‘bad’ things. throughout the series, soubi seems to have learned morals to an extent and now recognizes the difference between right and wrong, and no longer seems to believe that everything seimei does is right.

it’s very clear that he wants out, from telling seimei that it’d be fine to be abandoned to being catatonic at the house to hesitating and hallucinating a fantasy about a better home life during the moonless battle to seeming upset that he’s the one doing these things. however, soubi has no way out. seimei will not kill him. for reasons unknown to me, seimei seems to particularly want soubi to suffer, and seimei is smart enough to know that death would end soubi’s suffering. soubi is strong enough to the point that moonless, who’s supposedly beloved’s match, can’t defeat him. no other team has even come close to defeating him. nisei isn’t going to kill him. soubi can’t run away--he doesn’t have the willpower to, and what would be the point, anyways? the last time he got out from seimei, after seimei’s ‘death’, seimei let him build up happiness and then came right back around and took it all away from him. seimei is never going to leave him alone, and as long as seimei is alive, he’s going to want soubi to suffer. and soubi still thinks of soubi as some sort of god, meaning that soubi doesn’t see seimei as being able to die or even be captured. not that soubi has the willpower to be any sort of cause of death to him, anyways.

this leaves one thing–if soubi wants out, hes going to have to die. seimei would not willingly give him up, since seimei seems to want to cause soubi as much pain as possible, and i dont see soubi as the type who would actually be able to successfully run away and break things off from seimei and even if he did, seimei would find out new ways to take everything away from him. for soubi, it’s completely hopeless, because no matter what he does, seimei is just going to take everything away from him over and over again, as he’s been shown to do.

on top of all this, forcing soubi to repeat an oath clearly caused him great distress during the battle, even if it helped him win. the oath itself is important, as well, since it gave voice to soubi’s thoughts and worst fears--that there’s only seimei. there is nothing else. nothing else matters. there will always be only seimei. while seimei may view this oath as a forced declaration of soubi’s ‘devotion’ towards him, soubi seems to see it as a terrible fate, like repeating this oath only solidified the fact that he will never, ever escape seimei.

as a result of being forced to do that and subsequently realizing that theres no way out, that this is going to be the rest of his miserable life, and that he’s just going to be in horrible emotional pain for the rest of his days when he’d had about a year of happiness with a family that he’d built for himself–it’s going to trigger something in soubi deeper than the near-catatonia that we saw before the moonless battle, and i think itll push soubi into a territory that can be labelled as actively suicidal.

suicide itself has been talked about vaguely in the series before, too. in the beginnings of loveless, teams told soubi directly that he should’ve killed himself and that he was better off dead. at one point, early in loveless, ritsuka asks soubi what would happen if seimei ordered soubi to hurt ritsuka. soubi responds by telling ritsuka that he’d kill himself first before he could do anything to ritsuka. any and all talk about suicide in the series seems to be directed at soubi and no one else, and this could easily be seen as foreshadowing.

im almost done with this one, but there’s also yun saying that the climax would involve soubi realizing that it does matter and him making a choice about what he wants. this could quite possibly be the realization that he could do something about this and the choice whether or not to push himself over an edge that he’s on. ill get to this in another post, but i strongly believe that unfortunately, soubi is a character who has been set up to die, and i think that making this choice would have a huge effect on every character and following event in the story.

at this point, soubi has despaired and abandoned everything. he doesnt care about himself or others. we’re undeniably at this point right now. and with the way soubi is and his mental state currently, the choice that he makes may very well be to kill himself. it would set off a huge chain of events in the series and would effect everyone. soubi is a character who has some sort of non-neutral relationship with almost every character in the series. very few don’t hold feelings one way or another towards him (mikado and seven being the biggest two). everyone else seems to either hate him with a passion or feel positively towards him. his death would effect every single one of these characters and the world, given that soubi is a main player in it and is said to be the best fighter.

going along with that, it would be a fitting climax and a resolution for the problem of seimei. seimei would be left without soubi in what would be perhaps the largest show of defiance possible. he might still have nisei, if he didn’t already discard him in some way or another after the initial moonless battle. seimei would essentially be left with nothing, and it would come down to the fact that all his power lays in the people he’s manipulated and abused his entire life.

there’s also the possibility of soubi attempting at some point after the rematch, perhaps when he’s back with ritsuka, or soubi making the decision at the climax that his life does matter and that he can get out of this somehow.

regardless, im fairly certain that the rest of soubi’s storyline right up until the moonless rematch and subsequent climax will be showing him falling deeper and deeper into despair and losing his grip on reality even more than he has currently. i also believe that it’ll show seimei in an even more negative light, given his attitude involving the first moonless battle.

the rest of this series will be about ritsuka’s doings to come, since i think soubi’s story from here until the rematch will be about his deteriorating mental state.

#loveless #agatsuma soubi #aoyagi ritsuka #aoyagi seimei #akame nisei #soubi agatsuma #ritsuka aoyagi #seimei aoyagi #nisei akame #theory #post moonless battle series #my content

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survivorcostarica · 6 years

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Ep. 2 - “THIS ROUND HAS BEEN SHITE” - Louise

Ay I'm the longest lasting Australian.

That's cute @ the other tribe voting out Roxy. See this is what I forgot about games where I don't like or care about anyone in said game; there's way more motivation to get rid of the fuckwits. Judging from that tribal video, I think I've found a nice selection of them. The worst mistake they'll make is not getting rid of me premerge, because if I get there, they'll be having a hard time getting rid of me. There's a pretty distinct reason that I've made final four seven times in a row for my past seven ORGs, three of which were wins and one was runner-up. I'm going to burn them all, and when I'm done, I'll roast some marshmallows over the coals.

I'm honestly bored so we should swap so I can make someone cry or something so they can feel a little bit of what Roxy's feeling.

I wonder if any alliances are forming in the tribe. If they are they're pretty stupid because early alliances never work out. I mean quite frankly, alliances at all don't work out. Playing a solo game gets you to the end 90% of the time, at least in my case. There's probably random little chats like the one Cole made with Louise and I, but I wonder if people have like, fully fledged plans.

I don't know why I keep putting these in seperate things when I'm just randomly ranting but oh well. I really don't care that I'm cocky about the game because quite frankly I'm not here to suddenly jump in bed with the tumblr community. I couldn't give two shits about it because this is the only tumblr org I'm ever going to do so I might as well make the most of it and fuck with stuff since I don't ever do that in other games. I'm looking to enjoy my time here, not to win. If I win in the process then that's cool, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened just from messing with people with no end goal. I'm honestly just excited to be playing a game that I don't have to hold back on anything. It'll either end up with me getting to final tribal council where people won't want to vote for me or I'll be out early, but either way, it'll be fun.

So I forgot to add this in my last round, but I wound up creating an alliance with myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill and Sam known as the Court Room: Pepperoni vs Sausage because we were talking about court rooms and attorney jokes because we love sharing facts in the main chat for fun. I feel like all of us will stay together for the majority of the pre-merge and if something changes, well then that blows then! Otherwise, this game is going decently. I seem to be liked by everyone and I don't want anything about that to change.

Um I love when my tribe wins and I really like working with people!!!! My alliance is bad ass and like they do sm more than I do hahahaha i should prob look for an idol!! I'll post more later I promise

Oh helloooooo!! So I just realized I didn’t do a confessional last round because I forgot it was a round because we won immunity but like someone still went home, SO I apologize for that!! But moving on, the past is in the past, I’m so freaking nervous! I’ve had some conversations with people but I don’t REALLY know where everyone stands with me like people aren’t gonna be outwardly rude to me and none of our conversations have seemed to evolve past just talking about ourselves / getting to know each other besides Arika. So I’m hoping with the rest of today I can do my best to work myself into some type of place that I don’t go home and I’m not gonna be here for tribal due to work so I really have to work hard to make sure whatever I can make happen sticks for the like 3 hours I’ll be at work before tribal because I’ll only have so much time to use to check back in. No idea really WHO I want to like put my vote onto I’m kinda hoping there’s already some name(s) our there that I haven’t heard but who knows. I always think the worst case scenario so there could have been absolutely NO game played thus far for the vote but I’m just gonna assume everyone hates me and is talking a bunch without me :)))) paranoia for the win!! Wish me luck

So we went to tribal and Roxy went home. That's not really my first choice because she trusted me and I was her number 1 apparently, but I went with majority and voted her out. By going along with the plan to get rid of Roxy I found myself in a power alliance of Constance, Jill, Cameron and Drew. I really like all of these people and am working on developing relationships with everyone in my alliance.

We won immunity, thanks to me and my quick google fingers and my never ending useless (but not anymore!) medical terminology knowledge. Also, did you know gallbladder was one word? I did, but I guess I forgot. Oopsies!

Haven’t talked to many people, spooked for tribal

I have...not much to say. I’m so bad with confessionals tbh I never want to write down everything that’s going on. I’m happy to be safe. Hope everything goes well on my tribe tonight. That’s all.

Um Im scared for tribal because I don’t really know many people yet but I hope I can pull through this

I'm glad our tribe won immunity! I feel good that I've made it past two rounds in this game. I'd like to think that my alliance on Cadejo will hold up as we progress but you can never be so sure! Nothing negative to say!

Honestly I'm probably on the bottom of my tribe because i suck and idk what to do but Jill is my number 1 and jay is my number 2 and ya I like Cameron but idk who else I really care for like do i care about any of them truly

THIS ROUND HAS BEEN SHITE no one talks to me I only love Cole Kevin and AJ tbh and I haven’t been active but I’m in bumfuck NOWHERE in Scotland which means I can’t talk strat and I’m upset so if I get voted out before I have a chance to actually play I’m gonna shit my pants.

I love being kidnapped but this tribe barely talks lol i hope josh does go i trust cole but he said that is who he is voting not who the tribe is but possibly i don't mean i hope josh goes meanly idk the guy but he did vote in the minority when we took him idk if anyone is with him even.

i sent this confessional to the wrong confessional and just realized sadly but roxy called me a snake and i find it funny she thinks i am a snake when she was saying the others names sam never came to me about drew he didn't vote drew out you and josh did constance also wanted to keep drew we had a call he told me.

I think I'm doing well in this game but I don't have any real alliances yet. But I did help kill Roxy so that's always fun :)

Um beautiful background btw Dan!!! Also you're beautiful! ANyways, I'm sorry Joshua I sent you home..... but I didn't need you anymore sorry. I have alliances that will hopefully protect me to the end:) Me, Julia and Arika (Gays 4 Costa Rica) and Me, Louise, and AJ (Jporg Cuties). I already have set my targets for Cam, Madison, Bryan, Aj, and Drew. They are the only ones that have a chance against the (gays 4 costa rica) anyways I FOUND AN IDOL SO LIKE OWWWOWOWOWOWOWO thanks arika love ya doll.

#survivorcostarica

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