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#i know this joke has 100% been made before
mell0bee · 25 days
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“average spirit medium gets accused of murder 3 times a year” factoid actually just statistical error. maya fey, who lives in capcom’s stock plot contrivance box & is accused 10,000 times a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
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bizlybebo · 5 months
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my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “just roll with it” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
me: yeah whatever. i don't feel shit.
5 minutes later: grizzly wrote gay smut about old people and made his friend read it out loud for a stat boost
my buddy gillion: just tell me what it is, jay, and i'll fight for it
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spencereidluver · 6 months
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B is for Boy Genius?
summary: You outsmart Spencer in one of his most talented subjects: Poker. Derek officially removes his "Boy Genius" title, effectively aggravating sans-poker-champ Spencer. And someone is a little hot when he's angry...
word count: 2k
warnings: none really, some friendly bullying of Spencer by Derek but nothing that isn't normal in the show.
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“Straight flush.” Spencer says with a grin. He’s been in the BAU going on 5 years, and has yet to be beaten at poker by anyone.
“Oh, Spencer,” you lean in toward him and flatten your cards on the table. “Royal. Flush.”
“What? No way.” He speaks before he can even look at your cards. “Oh my god.”
“How’s it feel to be beaten at your own game?”
“I want a rematch. Outside dealer.” He passes the deck to Derek, who is sitting at his desk across the aisle. 
“Pretty boy got beat, huh?” Derek says, beginning to shuffle the cards. He deals them out, planting a little kiss on the last card he hands you. “Good luck, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart is what Derek has called you since you joined the team. At first you thought it was a little weird, but by now you’re used to it. And to be honest, it’s one of the more normal names he calls his coworkers. So you lucked out there. 
You see Spencer smirk, he probably has a good hand. Well, maybe not. He’s always had a pretty good poker face, no pun intended. 
“What’s going on?” Rossi says as he makes his way out of his office to see Derek, JJ, and Emily all surrounding you and Spencer. 
“Oh, pretty boy and girl genius here are having a poker-off.” Derek says. That’s the first time you’ve ever been called girl genius, it makes you feel a small tingle in your stomach. You look up at the former boy genius in front of you, he’s got a rosy blush on his cheeks and spreading across his nose and down his neck. His pupils have dilated. Oh... Maybe he’s just nervous. . .
“Spencer here just lost his first poker game.” Emily says, giving him a pat on the shoulder. It makes him jump. 
“First and only.” Spencer testified. He clenches his jaw, making a small dimple appear. “Full house.” He slams his cards down and looks toward you with a smile. 
You click your tongue. Rossi has now appeared and is watching from behind Spencer’s shoulder. Locking eyes with him, you slide his cards to the side. “Four of a kind.” you say as you sit each card down one by one. 
Spencer’s eyes all but come out of his skull. Derek erupts in laughter, “Dethroned,” he manages to say. He ruffles Spencer’s hair. “How’s it feel having a new genius around?”
“I’m impressed.” Spencer tells you, ignoring Derek’s provoking remarks. “Where’d you learn that?”
“Oh you know, picked it up during my college years.” You say, shrugging your shoulders and giving him a half-mouthed smirk. 
The crowd of your coworkers fades out, and everyone gets back to work. Your desk being directly across from Spencer’s, you see him studying the cards through the pile of binders and Manilla folders between the two of you.
“I still can’t believe you won. Twice,” he looks up from his desk to say. 
“You just can’t give up the crown, can you, Spence?” You respond. 
_____
You get up from your desk to go get your lunch from the breakroom. With a morning filled with poker and getting a solid new nickname, you’ve worked up quite an appetite. Upon opening the door, you bump shoulders with JJ, who is making her way out. 
“Woah there, girl genius,” she says. “Watch where you’re going there.”
“Sorry JJ, the genius doesn’t come equipped with self-steering.” You joked. 
Spencer is standing at the counter stirring a coffee. His head turned toward you as you walked in the room, causing him to lose control of his hands and the coffee-coated spoon went flying. 
“Nor hand eye coordination.” Emily laughs from the table in the corner. 
“Shut up.” Spencer mumbles, wiping the small mess he made up with a paper towel. “You know, the average win rate for professional poker players is only 47%.” 
“Well, as of right now, y/n’s is 100.” Emily pats his shoulder once again as she walks past him and out the door, leaving you and Spencer alone. 
“I don’t understand why everyone is making such a big deal of this little poker thing.” He says, a little annoyed.  
You walk behind him and open the fridge. “It’s all in good fun, Spence. We all know you’re still the smartest by a long shot.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. Like, why has everyone been bringing it back up. I lost a game, big deal.”
“I think everyone is just surprised is all. I mean, you haven’t lost a game in five years, Spence. That's a long time.”
“Not really. Considering most of the people here are in their thirties, that’s only 1.5% of their life-“
You interrupt him. “But, they’ve only worked here since they were about 25, making that their entire time here.”
Spencer’s mouth drops wide open. He cannot believe you caught that. Especially before him. “I- Wow. I guess you’re right." He looks defeated, tensing his shoulders and taking a heavy breath.
"You're still the smartest person I know, Spence." You try to make him feel better. The corners of his mouth turn up in what would not quite be classified as a smile. "And the whole team agrees with me, they're just trying to get under your skin."
He giggles and makes a disgusted face. "Ew. You didn't have to word it like that, y/n. I've lost my appetite." He pushes his coffee away and grins.
You quickly grab a straw from the small four compartment organizer to your right, sticking it in the cup and taking a sip out of it. You swallow, blinking aggressively. "Spencer, how many sugars did you put in here?" He'd been autonomously opening and pouring in sugar packets since the conversation began.
He glances in the small garbage bin beneath his feet. "Um, thirteen." He says, pressing his lips together forming the "white people" smile.
_____
You walk in the office slightly later than your normal time. You took a detour to the local supermarket in order to pick up some yogurt for lunch, getting sidetracked by a t-shirt you found on the end-cap of an isle.
You grabbed the t-shirt and two bottles of coffee and hurried to the register, completely forgetting the yogurt you made the trip for in the first place.
As you reach your car, you toss your knitted bag, now filled with coffee and a t-shirt, into your passenger seat and quickly climb inside.
The office is about 2 minutes from the supermarket. As you drive, you play with the fabric of the black shirt peeking out of the bag. You wonder when you're going to have a chance to put it on.
As you pull into the parking lot of the BAU, you see Spencer hustling in. He must be running late. Odd. He was never late. Never. You saw Spencer’s rare fault as the perfect moment, and slipped your sweater off in the driver’s seat of your car. You slid the black tshirt over your bra, pulling the button up sweater over your shoulders and fastening all but the top button. You grabbed your bag, sliding it over your left shoulder and exited your car, shuffling in. 
You met Spencer at the elevator, unsure how you both got there at the same time as he’d entered the building a good two minutes before you. 
“Good morning, Spence,” you said and smiled at him.
“Mornin’, y/n. How are you?” He responded.
“I’m good, how about you?”
“I’m okay, I was running late this morning and didn’t have time to get my coffee, but other than that I’m doing well.”
You thought about the glass bottle in your bag. You knew grabbing two would be a good idea. You looked up at the tall man, feeling small as he glanced down toward you. “I stopped by the market this morning, I picked up an extra coffee. I was going to just save it for tomorrow, but you’re welcome to have it.” 
“Oh, are you sure, y/n? Don’t feel like you have to give up your coffee because I was up all night.”
You wondered why he was up all night. What could’ve been on his mind that kept him up so late? You gestured the bottle over to him, smiling as he took it from your grasp.
“Thank you, y/n. I owe you for this one.”
The elevator door opened and the two of you began walking down the hall to the BAU room. Spencer opens his coffee, a satisfying “pop” sound as the seal of the lid breaks. You pull the glass door open and hold it for him as he takes his first sip. He scurries through and you follow, pulling your own coffee from your bag. 
“Well, well, well,” Derek announced loud enough the whole building could hear. “Look who finally decided to show up to work.”
“Shut up,” Spencer retaliated.
“I didn’t know coffee was on the new genius this morning. Where’s mine, y/n?” Derek joked, smirking at Spencer.
You could tell this one stung a little bit. Spencer knew it was all fun and games, but having his one strong suit, in his mind anyways, be taken away from him hurt. You rolled your eyes and hurried over to your desk, sitting your bag down on the files you’d yet to fill out. You looked up, expecting Spencer to be at the table across from you, but he wasn’t. He’d walked away. You sighed and got to work.
Spencer returned about half an hour later, sitting down at his desk without even acknowledging you. He began aggressively writing on his paperwork, so aggressively that his hand veins protruded and knuckles turned white. By the clench of his jaw, you knew he was probably a little upset by the interaction with Derek earlier, so you decided now would be the perfect time to unveil your purchase from this morning. 
You stood up, unbuttoning your sweater and slowly worked your way toward Spencer. You grabbed the deck of playing cards from his desk, drawing the man’s attention. He glanced up at you with a slightly raised eyebrow. Leaning down close to his ear, you whispered, “follow me.” 
He shivered as the heat of your voice hit the back of his neck, but obliged. You took him up the stairs to the half floor located in front of Hotch’s office. “Just go with it, okay?” You said to him. He looked confused, but nodded in agreement despite.
You loudly cleared your throat, attention from the floor below turned toward you. You held up the deck of cards. You made sure your shirt was visible and gently brushed your side against the man who stood next to you.
“I would like to re-declare Dr. Spencer Reid as certified office genius. After further research, he has proven himself worthy of the title.” You announced to the rest of the team who had their full attention on you. Spencer smiled.
“You’re too kind,” Spencer said, leaning down to take a peek at your shirt that he’d noticed you’d paid extra attention to. He couldn’t quite see it as half of it was wrinkled from the curves of your body and the guard rail was disturbing his view as he leaned forward. He grabbed your shoulders and gently twisted them to face him. His eyes met your breasts, despite knowing he was just reading the vinyl words, you couldn’t help but feel your face heat up a little bit. You knew everyone in the office was watching you guys as well, making you even warmer. Spencer’s cheeks had a small hint of rose to them as well as he mouthed the words on your shirt.
“I’m with genius,” he whispered under his breath. A smile took over his face, but it slowly faded as he realized he was still holding on to your shoulders. He felt his cheeks grow red and he quickly pulled his arms back down to his side. 
You opened your mouth to begin speaking, but right when the words were about to come out, the door to Hotch’s office swung open and he came barreling through, files in hand.
“Sorry to ruin the fun guys, but we have a case.”
_____
next chapter: C is for Case by Case
_____
a/n: okay i guess that one was kind of boring too.. but i kinda wanna set some tension and some story lines before we just jump in you know... since this chapter was pretty long, the next chapter is going to be a short little filler chapter of a conversation with you, spencer, and hotch. I hope you guys are enjoying so far :)
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sunrizef1 · 11 days
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What happens in Vegas pt 12
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader
Warnings: Cursing, briefly mentioned puke (referenced), panic attacks (referenced), the NFL
Authors note: wanted to get this out before the race tomorrow, I actually quite like this chapter
Masterlist
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INSTAGRAM
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📍Austin, TX
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liked by logansargeant charles_leclerc16 and 2,309,099 others
yourusername happy to be back in Austin, ready to recharge 🔋
Tagged: logansargeant, l/nranch
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user1 the speed with which she left china is honestly so funny
user2 the race was two days ago why’s she already in America 😭
user3 why’s she at a farm???
user4 her grandpas family got rich by owning a really successful agricultural company so both her grandparents decided to buy a ranch outside of Austin, which is where y/n grew up
user5 her dad being English always throws me off when I think about her family tbh
user6 her grandpa went to a race once and made the joke that the Americanism skipped a generation lol
user7 wait I’m new to y/n, how’s her dad English but the rest of her family’s American?
user8 her grandparents were based in England when he was born but they ended up really busy so they sent him to a boarding school from the time he was really young, hence the accent
user9 they’re so confusing 😭
user10 my favorite cowgirl
user11 she couldn’t wait till cota to go home???
logansargeant your grandma likes me more than you
yourusername no she doesn’t
user12 I didn’t know Logan went with her
user13 where’s Charles???
yourusername added to their story
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yourusername added to their story
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TWITTER
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yourusername
📍Las Vegas, NV
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liked by killatrav taylorswift13 and 3,980,756 others
yourusername had a great time at the @/patrickmahomes charity golf gala this weekend! Grateful for the opportunity to show all these boys how it’s done out on the green and support charity at the same time! ⛳️
Might have to get you a different hat though 😉 @/killatrav
Tagged: logansargeant, killatrav, patrickmahomes
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user14 are those Porsche golf balls!?!?
user15 THEY EAT SO HARD
logansargeant I 100% beat you
yourusername I was 5 under par. You were 5 over. You lost.
logansargeant ☹️
user16 what a crossover
killatrav don’t hate the player, hate the game 🤷‍♂️
yourusername i dont hate the game, I just hate alpine
pierregasly ???
yourusername see you next week, Frenchie
user17 her and Pierres fake beef is genuinely so funny to me
user18 where's Charlesssss
user19 he liked the post, at least
user20 omg they're in Vegas! Remember what happened last time they were in Vegas…
TWITTER
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📍Bellagio Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas
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liked by charles_leclerc16 donnakelce and 6,989,870 others
yourusername Last night out in Vegas 😵‍💫
I'm, once again, honored to have been invited to the 15 and the Mahomies Charity Gala! Got to auction off a few paddock passes and also got to spend a great night out with friends!
Thanks so much Vegas, you were a lot better this time than you were last time.
Tagged: logansargeant, taylorswift13, killatrav, patrickmahomes, charles_leclerc16
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user21 CHARLES CONTENT?!?!
user22 she seems happier than she has before
user23 Logan and Taylor swift in the same room is not something I’d ever expect tbh
patrickmahomes thanks for coming! ❤️💛
yourusername thanks for inviting us! ❤️🖤
user24 this is just so American
taylorswift13 🫶
yourusername 🫶
user25 more Logan content this week than Williams gives in a month
user26 they’ve been to like three different states already lmao
user27 I need the home field advantage from Miami for these two this weekend
logansargeant I’m so tired
yourusername at least it was fun 🤷‍♀️
logansargeant lol, it definitely was
user28 the first pic is so sibling coded
user29 “Mon ange” CHARLESSS 🥹
user30 the fact he’s tagged on the messages 😭
user31 THE LAST LINE ABOUT VEGAS?!?! IM SCREAMING!!!
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boytoyhalo · 6 months
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actually i have thoughts about qfit coming out and the fucking courage that had to have taken him as someone who spent the past 10 years of his life on 2b2t
Idk how much people who have never played on 2b2t actually know about the culture and environment there but because it has no rules, theres a shit ton of casual (and not so casual) bigotry of all sorts. Im 100% sure fit has to cut a TON of shit out of his videos, because the first and only time I ever logged onto it it was less than 10 seconds before i saw a wall of bedrock swastikas and slurs being thrown around in the chat. and anti-gay slurs in particular are a big part of the common terminology there, at least according to the wiki and a few of my friends who used to frequent it. Actually, the reason I never watched fit before the QSMP despite being aware of and interested in his content is because I made a point to stay away from anything 2b2t related for my own mental health - the hate speech there is so notorious that I had been warned to do so, and that was reaffirmed the one time I tried to play on it
Basically, that server is a fucking nightmare to be gay on just in terms of the real life community - in-universe, i imagine that would be reflected tenfold. So for Fit to have spent so long surrounded by that kind of attitude towards gay people, presumably closeted and possibly not even aware of his own queerness... it makes sense that he's been as hesitant as he has been to verbalize his feelings for pac. He can do it just fine when it's played as a joke with Phil or Forever or whoever else, but to find yourself entering into a real queer relationship after spending so long surrounded by violent (and most likely deadly) anti-queerness is fucking SCARY. Even without factoring in the general trust issues that spending that long on an anarchy server gave him, there's no way he didn't internalize at least some of that attitude.
So the fact that after these 7 (8??? is it 8 now i cant be bothered to count) months on Quesadilla island, surrounded by queer people in queer relationships being treated completely normally and supported he feels safe enough to (kind of) come out as gay to his son.... idk I'm just feeling super soft over it rn. Obviously it's Ramon, it's his son, who's been talking about getting him a new husband, so he knows he's safe. But knowing that logically and FEELING that are two different things and it's huge for a man who's spent a third of his life on arguably the least queer friendly space in the entire minecraft community to be able to speak it out loud like that..... im so proud of my bald gay cubito guys
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mypoisonedvine · 4 months
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100 random dialogue prompts
truly random, there's a mix of angsty and smutty and fluffy in here. as a result it's nsfw and 18+ :)
"who did this to you?"
"where are you going dressed like that?"
"this isn't enough anymore. I need more of you-- all of you."
"I'm not angry, I just get tired of watching you get hurt."
"don't say stuff like that, it gets me all... confused."
"just lie to me, okay? just this once."
"I never said I didn't feel the same way."
"you should go... before someone sees."
"I hate how you make it impossible to hate you."
"too good for you? don't be ridiculous-- they don't deserve you."
"fuck, do that again... please."
"you promise you're going to behave this time?"
"oh please, you knew what you were doing... you wanted to drive me crazy."
"no, it's not over. it's never over."
"so you're saying even if we were the last people on Earth--?" "nope."
"sooo... is everything supposed to just go back to normal after that?"
"you can't ignore me. not anymore."
"it's not what it looks like!" "is that a picture of me?!"
"you really didn't notice that I was falling in love with you?"
"is this really the last time?"
"I'm sorry, I swear I tried, but I just can't get over you."
"do you really think that toy can replace me?"
"don't tell me how to feel."
"forgive me, but I'm not feeling very patient right now."
"you could do so much better than me."
"what would they think if they saw you right now?"
"I didn't know you could be so obedient."
"you can take it."
"you were never my fallback-- I always wanted you."
"yeah, I want to, but... wouldn't it be weird?"
"don't act like you never thought about it before."
"I wish they could all know about us."
"you're the best mistake I ever made."
"no, I don't hate you... I'm angry, but I don't think I could ever really hate you."
"let's just stop now before anybody's feelings get hurt."
"don't get my hopes up if you're just gonna leave like everyone else."
"I can't let it end like this."
"if you do what you're told, you'll get a reward."
"what's gotten into you? you're being so... naughty."
"I think we're on a first name basis by now."
"don't do that... don't act like you don't feel this too."
"it was never just sex."
"I wish I'd met you sooner."
"you can tell me anything."
"why do we have to get out of bed again?"
"I think this is my favorite way to wake up."
"I was already yours."
"there's no way that was just a one-night thing."
"if you can look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go, I'll go."
"has anybody else ever made you feel like this?"
"it feels like we were made for each other."
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and I miss you."
"I have an idea to make them jealous."
"just one more kiss?"
"do you really expect me to believe this is what you want?"
"if you say you're happy with them, I'll believe you. or at least I'll try to."
"I can think of a more fun way you can thank me."
"no, I'm in charge tonight, remember?"
"if you keep doing that, this might end a little too soon."
"hey, you lost the bet, fair and square."
"stop imagining it!" "I'm sorry, but I can't get it out of my head!"
"it's too bad we never did. we would've been great together."
"I never thought I'd hear you talk like that."
"oh, fuck me--" "okay." "what? it's just a figure of speech..."
"were you joking? I wasn't joking."
"admit it: you had a crush on me!"
"I just need you to hold me right now."
"friends can cuddle, right?"
"I wouldn't have picked this for movie night if I'd known it had so many sex scenes..."
"they're great but... they're not you."
"I always thought it would be me and you in the end."
"you're not actually trying to convince me that was a friendly kiss, are you?"
"if you hate me so much, how come you keep coming back?"
"do you remember getting drunk and calling me last night?"
"I'm free tonight if you still need a date for that thing you're going to."
"I'd do anything for you."
"I think I finally get what all those love songs are about."
"it's weird being here again... so many memories."
"I wish you'd give me a chance."
"I never meant to hurt you."
"just come to dinner with me. it doesn't have to be weird."
"seeing you with them made me realize you should be with me."
"just ask yourself for once: what do you want?"
"okay, okay, I'll leave-- as soon as I can find my pants."
"we need to be more careful next time."
"wait, why are you in my bed? did we...?"
"I took you for granted, I know. but I want to treat you right this time."
"kiss me like you mean it."
"keep the lights on, I want to see you."
"is it just me, or does your celebrity crush look a lot like me?"
"we promised we wouldn't let this affect our friendship."
"no, don't cry-- if you start crying, I'll start crying!"
"I want to see my marks on you tomorrow."
"don't act innocent, it's not going to work with me."
"is this really turning you on? I'm not even doing anything."
"come look at the stars with me."
"I lov--" "no, don't say anything. you'll kill the moment."
"what happens next in your fantasy?"
"I probably shouldn't tell you this but... you were in my dream last night."
"why do you still wear the hoodie I left at your place?"
1K notes · View notes
cheeseceli · 1 month
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Their s/o is a songwriter
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Pairing: idol Ot8!skz × songwriter Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, headcanon, idol!au
Request: so what if skz finding out their partner is a song writer / composer? bonus points if the skz members also found out that they wrote their favourite song :>
Warnings: reader is implied to write for Kpop most of the time, not proofread.
A/n: as a songwriter, I appreciate this request a whole lot lmao. Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it!
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Bang Chan
Honestly, I think this is something he would find out before dating you
Man knows everyone in the whole entertainment industry
Ofc he knows who you are
If anything, the way you both got to know each other more was through working together to make a stray kids song
Overall, I think he would love to have a partner in the industry
Even if you never get to be on stage
Simply because you understand him more than other people do
You know how music is essential and demanding at the same time
Your job probably makes him feel more connected to you
He likes to joke that you're the newest member of 3Racha
Always sends you songs he made your you to listen
And wants you to do the same
You can send him an audio at 1AM and bro will listen to it right away, ready to give you his opinion and advice (and praise)
Lee Know
Poor stray kids and stay
They will be listening to the songs you worked on nonstop
He just happens to be your biggest supporter 🤷🏻‍♀️
Has a whole 10 hours playlist with all of your work
Knows every lyric even if they aren't Korean
And he also enjoys dancing to it very much
Even if the song doesn't have a choreo, he likes to make up his own by listening to what you did
Probably invented a few trends with your songs because of it lmao
He also listens to it a lot when he's on tour
Even if it's not your voice that he's listening to, it's still you somewhat
He just wants to feel close to you
Asks you to sing or play the songs you produced
Might or might not have a small compilation of audios of you singing when he's way too homesick
(And if you wrote his favourite song, he would definitely have an audio of you singing it)
Changbin
Sees you as a very big inspiration
The amount of times he listened to one of your songs so he could get out of creative block is crazy
If anything, he probably already saw you as a role model before even getting to personally know you
Imagine the seo changbin fan boying you
If you write for other K-pop groups/soloists, he's probably trying to make references of what you wrote in his own rap
Fans always think he's talking about a certain idol or something but he really is just trying to include you in his work😭
And he would beg to have at least one stray kids song cowrote by you
Like literally begging
He needs to have one small Collab with you at least once
And will get a little pouty every time you can't work with skz because you're with another group at the moment
Hyunjin
Loves to have songwriting dates with you
Usually releases the songs you both write (with your permission ofc) as a skz-recorder
Stays are starting to wonder who is that composer/songwriter who is behind every single song Hyunjin is in lmao
I remember he said that one of his goals for 2024 was to produce more
So he will 100% seek your advice and even ask for some particular lessons at times
And he is always a little bit shy when he's about to show you what he's been working on
Because he feels like you are THE songwriter
And you're also his partner so like
Your opinion is a very big deal
And he's also so excited when you let him listen to a preview of your newest work
Is always awestruck
(Any song of yours would be his favourite lmao, and the best part of it is that he means it)
Han
He would LOVE to have a partner in the industry
Or just connected to art somehow, even if it's just a hobbie
I mean, look at his lyrics
Bro inhales and exhales art
The fact that you understand this side of him and even share this interest is so what he needed
He's also very very helpful when you need to write songs
I see late night dates in the studio
Even when any of you is far away for whatever reason
It can be 2am in Korea, he will be on his phone more than willing to listen to you brainstorm
Brainstorming with Han would be very fun overall lmao
It's either going to be the most sentimental thing to ever exist or it's going to be complete nonsense lmao
Oh and he would also make a lot of references to things you wrote
And would be so so so so happy if you ever made a reference to a work of his
Felix
I remember he said once that if he wasn't an idol, he would like to be a professional songwriter
So the fact that YOU are a songwriter/producer
He kinda loves you a little bit too much
One thing he loves is to understand your thought process
If you ever let him see your notes,he will try his best to understand every little thing
Even if it's only words with no correlation all over the page
He loves to know how your mind works
And he wants to know where the inspiration comes from!
(If it's from him he will never shut up about it)
Loves to know the stories behind each one of your works
He feels like he gets to know you a little more every time he listens to something that is yours
Is always covering one of your songs on lives
Seungmin
Literally everything you could've asked for, both in the dating aspects and in professional aspects
He makes sure you never overwork but will never restrain you from your work
Like, he knows that sometimes the inspiration comes at 2AM. He won't shut off your notebook, he'll be up with you and guarantee you don't stress
And he's your most honest critic
If you need help with rhymes, structure, chords or whatever, he is there
(After dating him you rarely browse anything at Google anymore, seungmin always understands the specific vibes you want)
And if you are a songwriter/ composer who doesn't know how to sing (that's me criticising myself) he always volunteers to make the demo for your songs
As I said, everything you could've ever asked for in a partner and coworker
I.N
Now this one
The moment he discovered he was begging to see some of your work
It's crazy how many of your songs were included in the playlist he has of songs that remind him of you😭
Talk about soulmates
I also believe that he would love to help you with songs
Give him one chance and this man is already with a notebook open trying to come up with the best verse ever
But he really likes to hear you brainstorm as well
Just you in your comfort zone really makes him admire you
And he loves how he can feel closer to you
Just reading the lyrics you wrote ou listening to the beat you produced makes him feel like he is meeting you for the first time again
Always having a new impression of you
Will also sing any demos you want him to!
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: if skz wrote a song for you
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Taglist: @yuyubeans
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slvtforoldermen · 2 months
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Pedro’s Characters: The Dick-tionary
How big are Pedro Pascal’s characters and some NSFW headcannons
(WARNING: DETAILS OF PENISES AND TALKS OF SEX - MDNI)
Part Two <3
A/N: Sorry I never continued Fluff February :(, I lost motivation so I’ll just write them and post them as a prompt list for whenever…
Joel Miller:
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Okay, all his characters are big, it’s a known fact, but Joel is 100% the biggest. Probably about 8.5 inches, with a pretty pink mushroom tip, and GIRTHY AGH! There’s a vein on it that is really visible when he’s hard. Oh and his balls are big too. Everything about Joel is just big. Not only is he big but you best believe he knows how to use it too. He’s got a daddy kink… Fav positions are missionary and cowgirl, however when he’s angry doggy or the mating press are a no-brainer. Daddy kink! DOMINANT!!! There’s no way this man is a sub, it just doesn’t work, he’s just so dom yknow, and when he’s soft, he’s the sweetest he’s ever been, but if he’s angry, hard dom Joel comes out and that’s a man you don’t wanna piss off if you wanna cum. He’s got such a daddy kink. “Fuck babygirl/boy, you’re so fucking sweet, sugar. So fucking good for daddy. Yeah baby? You like that? Such a good little girl/boy, so fucking sweet.” Daddy kink is such is a big thing for him. Hair wise? Well it’s the apocalypse so it’s probably hard to find the Manscaper 3000 or whatever. He trims his hair with some scissors, honestly he didn’t really care for shaving before you, so he just let it grow, but once when you were sucking him, you almost sneezed from how much it tickled your nose and made a little joke about it after, which made Joel feel a little bad so he cut them just a little shorter. Oh I’m sorry and did I mention… DADDY KINK!!!
Javier Peña:
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(Here I’m purely writing about Javier Pena in a fictional sense AS PEDRO, not the real guy, this has nothing to do with the real Javier Pena)
Okay, Javier, my baby daddy. Um, who said that- ANYWAYS! Javier is probably the second biggest, in joint place with Oberyn, definitely about 7-7.5 inches, as he’s nicknamed by moi, the Pussy Slayer of Medellin. It goes without saying that Javier is rough, as we’ve seen, side note: I don’t know why I thought watching Narcos with my family would be a good idea… I was sat on the couch like “😀 okay, I’m watching Pedro have sex next to my mum, just a normal Saturday morning…” anyways back to it (hehe Negan reference) but Javier is rough, doggy and cowgirl are his favourite positions, but sometimes when he’s feeling a little somber he likes a little missionary. As how domestically-kinky I like my men, I’m a little disappointed that Javier isn’t a committed man, but he does have a tiny 🤏 breeding kink, he defo isn’t a fan of being called daddy, in fact just call him Javi and he’s yours, and he’s dom obviously. “Oh carino, you take my cock so well, you good little whore… fuck… my sweet little angel.” I mean, we’ve all seen his hair, so do we really need address it, that also might genuinely be my fav sex scene in all of cinema history.
Oberyn Martell
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Okay, admittedly, I haven’t seen any proper scenes of Oberyn, because I’ve just started GOT, so I have no clue what his character is like apart from being a HUGE BISEXUAL SLUT, so he’s just like me 🤭
Oberyn, tying with Javier, is about 7-7.5 inches, and I feel like his cock is definitely a lot more tan than others, idk why, it’s just an instinct. Defo uncircumcised. His fav positions are definitely cowgirl OH and dude is the literal definition of a pillow prince, again, just like me. Suck his dick, please, just suck his dick. Again, I don’t know how he’s presented in GOT, but I’m like 74% sure he’s dominant? From the clips I’ve seen 🫣 Hair wise, do razors exists in the GOT world? Or does my man just shave himself with a sword.
Javi Gutierrez:
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Oh my sweet baby Javi… he’s so kinky. I’m fully convinced he’s into full BDSM, not so much where he has to do it every single time, but maybe like once a month. When I was watching TUWOMT for the first time, when Nick is about to go into the room with all his merch and stuff, I was dead convinced it was gonna be a sex dungeon. There’s no way a man is this sweet and adorable without being into some freaky shit.
Anyway, Javi is about 6.5 inches, with a sweet pink tip and he’s definitely a giver not a taker, don’t get him wrong, he ADORES you with his dick in your mouth, but he prefers to eat you out/suck your dick for hours on end. Oh and he’s a sweet talker, when you guys aren’t being full kinky, he’ll praise you to hours on end, mumbling in your ear how good you are in that sexy accent of his. Is a little bit of a switch, but mostly dominant, soft dom if it’s a normal night but if it’s that special night, only your safe word will pull him out of hard dom space. Definitely the type to overstimulate you in a sweet way “you can take it right sweetheart? Mi amor~ just take my cock nice and good, ahí tienes.” Um, daddy kink for surely, but not like every single night like Joel. But when he’s between your legs, and he’s stimulated you so far into sub space, and you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, and you’re reaching up for him, babbling how good his cock feels in your hole, he can’t help but coo down at you and praise you so hard. He’s not bald, but his hair isn’t long, just trimmed to the point where it tickles your nose when you suck his cock.
Din Djarin
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Okay, so I think it’s canon that Din hasn’t really ever felt human touch, so I feel he’s really inexperienced… but the dude’s got a pretty dick. Like it’s just so… pretty. About 6 inches with a sweet baby pink tip, he’s so sensitive too. He loves head but he really can’t say it, he’s just too embarrassed. I just get the vibe that he’s mostly subby. He tried to be dom once but the poor baby couldn’t handle it all. But then he tried again and he did so good, but it tired him out, so if he’s domming, which is once in a blue moon, he’s going to be soft, maybe even softer than Javi. Mommy/Daddy kink!! “Please, I’m good right? Please, please tell me I’m doing good… you always feel so so good, I love you so much.” Please, he’s so sweet I love him. It’s rare that you guys get off together because of reasons due to his upbringing and stuff so he just likes being taken care of, the sweet boy. Before you, he never really cared for shaving, so when you first strip together, he’s a little nervous about it, and then after that he trims it, quite short.
Marcus Moreno
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If anyone says this man is a hard dom they’re just kidding themselves, this man is the sweetest man out there, obviously not as much as Din ofc <3.
Marcus has an obsession with using his hands, making you cum just by fingering you. Then when he’s inside you, he slips his fingers into your mouth, or around your neck, or on your cheek. His dick is about 7 inches, and like everyone else, knows how to use it perfectly. Angel is one of his favourite nicknames to call you. “My perfect Angel, taking my cock so good baby…” whilst hes thrusting into you ever so gently. Would never EVER do it when Missy is around, so quickies before picking Missy up from school are his go to, but he loves the days where his mom can take her out for the day or even a grandma sleepover so he can be with you for hours. You under him, over him, him inside you, his good girl/boy, his good angel. Pleasuring you until you get numb. The armpit hair in the scene of the gif gets me and idk why, I have never had a thing for armpit hair but maybe I’m just really horny, but his hair down there is nice and trimmed, not bald, never bald.
Tim Rock(Hard)Ford
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Here we go…
Oh Tim man! I have a teensy 🤏 detective kink so when Pedro played this role it was over for me.
Maybe it’s the greying, like Joel, but I feel like he’s huge, just like Joel. He’s 8 inches, living his best life. But he’s just a tired old man, so when he gets home, please just get on your knees for him, he’ll just lay there, stroking your hair, praising you, telling you how good you suck his cock. Then he’ll bring you up to the bed and return the favour, making sure to always get you to tell him about your day as he does so. Saturday nights are always his favourite time to rail into you, he’s had the whole day off, just resting, watching you walk around, getting him so worked up. He has a domestic kink. So seeing you do chores get him so hard. Loves fucking between your thighs when you’re sleeping because he gets home so late and just needs a little relief, but you look so cute and peaceful while you sleep and because he’s so considerate, he doesn’t wanna wake you. “So good for me baby, so good for daddy, gonna fill you up, you’re not gonna let any of my cum slip out right, gonna keep it all in your tummy, yeah, that’s it, cum for me.” TALKS YOU THROUGH IT!!! Sleeps naked. Not trimmed, not shaved, just grows it out, he’s old so he doesn’t care, it’s not like anyone but you would be seeing him like this anyways.
Dieter Bravo
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I love Dieter, he’s so cute.
Not dom, but not sub either, just dom enough to see you break under him but sub enough to whimper and get soooo desperate. Such a huge pillow prince, he loves it when you suck him, especially when you grab his balls and caress them, he cums so quick when that happens. He’s about 6.5 inches, and it loves fast, not as in quickie, but he loves seeing you fall apart as he jackhammers into your hole. When you ride him he gets so sweet, and he can last long, don’t worry, but you just look so pretty on top of him, he can’t help it, please don’t be mad at him. Has a thing for dry humping, especially in the morning when he’s too lazy to move properly. “So good baby, oh yeah, fuck, grind against me just like that, mmmf fuck…” loves to beg and watch you beg, he’s so good to and for you, don’t doubt him ever. He doesn’t shave, he trims it, but he’s so goofy, so once he shaved it into a heart.
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inbarfink · 4 months
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Okay, so, I know this is kind of a Stupid Thing to Focus on but… I’ve been rewatching ‘Friends Forever’ (still one of my favorite and most complex and most heart-wrenching Ice King episodes) and I’ve been thinking about the bit where Ice King tries to research how to be smart…
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We can see him reads from what very much seems to be part of Simon Petrikov's journals. Considering that it details the aftermath of the Mushroom War.
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In addition, while the shelves are made of ice, much like the bookshelves Ice King has in his throne room, this is clearly a much... robust archive
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which much more resembles Simon Petrikov’s library/research room.
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The table IK uses also seems to be a match to the one in the research room. At least in terms of colors
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So, it might be a different Room Full of Books that Simon placed in his Castle before he truly 100% lost it, or it might be the same one we see in 'Betty' but with a minor continuity error when it comes to what the shelves are made from. Either way, from the aforementioned journal, we know this library probably contains books Simon had personally written
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But considering the Amount, probably not all of them. (Especially if you assume there are two separate library rooms). Maybe he came back to his old house to gather up all the prewar academic books he owned, but that still seems like an Unusually High Amount of Books. I think he probably kept gathering and writing books as he was slowly turning into Ice King. Like, by the time the show started he was basically totally gone - but a couple hundred years ago he’d have brief moments of lucidity and start writing again or searching books that could help him deal with the curse.
Which makes me wonder about this book.
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I know that it’s just a silly funny joke, but…
Like, a Big Undertone of ‘Friends Forever’ is Ice King’s insecurities and frustrations with his own stupidity and lack of maturity. And with Simon’s library showing up in the middle of the episode like it did, it’s hard to forget that Simon used to have the intelligence and maturity needed to speak with all of these living furniture on equal terms, but his mental facilities have been eroded by the madness of the Crown and now he can’t and these frustrations manifest even though Ice King isn’t fully aware of that fact.
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And this book, I know that the title just playing directly into Ice King’s insecurities is just the Joke but also…
I’m thinking about Ice King/Simon when he was a bit more lucid. Aware that he’s going mad and it's getting harder and harder for him to think clearly and that makes it so much harder to find a solution and expressing a lot of that same anger that Ice King expresses outwards towards the Living Furniture - inwards.
I’m wondering if Simon specifically sought out that book because he felt like he was ‘turning dumb’.
I’m wondering if Simon could’ve written this book. Some sort of last final act of impotent rage against the person he was turning into, frustration at his growing inability to think like he used to, even though he couldn't even remember his own name anymore - only that he was the 'Smarty McBrainypants' part of his old identity.
That would explain why it’s such a worn and rugged book...
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gunnerfc · 4 months
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Whatever it Takes | Alexia Putellas x Barça!Reader
Summary: Alexia is head-over-heals for you but won’t confess those feelings to you. Knowing about her crush on you, you take matters into your own hands.
Warnings: none that I know of!
WC: 1.6K
AN 1: I didn’t specify what national team R plays for, but it's not Spain since I mentioned playing against Alexia!
AN 2: all translations are from google, Apologies if they are not 100% accurate!
AN 3: to the anon that requested this, I hope you enjoy despite it taking a while!
Alexia has always been in awe of you, who wouldn’t be? You were one of the best in the world and Alexia was no different from all the fans who loved to watch you play. Every time your national teams met, Alexia was always focused on you. Even though you were competing against each other, Alexia couldn’t help but be fascinated by you.
The other Spanish players always gave their captain a hard time whenever you were set to play against each other. Most of the jokes came from Mapi, Patri, and Pina but Alexia always tried to ignore their jokes. She tried her hardest to convince them and herself that she was simply impressed by your skills as a footballer. None of her teammates believed her when she said that and she didn’t believe herself either.
But for the most part, Alexia could put those thoughts of you out of her mind since you didn’t play in the same league and international breaks weren’t always happening. She didn’t have a reason to have her thoughts solely on you.
Until you signed for Barcelona right before the World Cup.
Signing for Barça was one of the best things you could have done for your career. It opened the door to play for one of the best teams in the world and consistently get minutes that helped at the national level. However, signing with Barcelona meant Alexia got to see you way more often than she could handle.
Being this close to you, seeing you every day at training or on off days when you both hung out with some of the other girls meant the admiration the midfielder had for you grew into something more. Alexia tried her hardest to keep those growing feelings to herself to avoid more teasing, but she failed miserably.
The teasing she would receive during international breaks seemed to increase drastically when Patri and Pina discovered the captain’s crush on one of their new signings. The captain could deal with the teasing, as long as you didn’t find out about her crush. However, Alexia was unaware you were one of the first on the team to realize her feelings.
You felt drawn to Alexia the moment you joined the team for your first training session. You obviously knew who she was, everyone knew who Alexia Putellas was. But you didn’t know her as a person but the moment you locked eyes with her, you wanted to get to know her. You made an effort to introduce yourself to your teammates, wanting to make the best first impression you could but speaking to Alexia made you nervous. Unbeknown to you, Alexia felt just as nervous.
While Alexia was trying to keep her feelings at bay, you let yours blossom into a full blown crush. This obviously meant you also got teased by some of the new friends you had made, but you didn’t particularly care. 
You could feel Alexia’s nervousness and how tense she was whenever she was around you. You knew that if anything was going to happen between the two of you, you were going to have to make the first move.
You started doing little things to show Alexia you felt the same but Alexia didn’t want to get her hopes up and chalked everything up to you being friendly. After openly flirting with the midfielder didn’t work, you decided to take things up a notch. 
So here you were, mid-practice trying to get Alexia to realize you felt the same. Jona had called for a break so everyone could get some water and as you made your way toward the staff, Alexia held a water bottle for you to take once you got close enough. 
“gracias, bebita,” you cooed as you passed her, giving her a quick kiss on her cheek. With your back to her, you missed the bright blush that coated her face.
You could hear Mapi and Pina snickering behind you but you chose to ignore them. Giving Alexia a small kiss in front of everyone was a bold step but since it seemed like the blonde was not going to do anything about her feelings, bold steps needed to be taken.
Practice on the training grounds continued a bit longer before Jona decided to end training in favor of going over the next opponent Barça would be facing. You and your teammates made your way toward the film room, taking your time to cool off from the intense training you just finished. 
You made sure to enter the room right behind Alexia so you could the seat next to her before anyone else could. You were still mid conversation with Aitana when you sat down, completely missing Alexia’s eyes widening at how close you were. Aitana ended the conversation as she found her seat next to Keira. 
When you turned to face Alexia, she had her focus locked on the blank screen at the front of the room, trying her hardest to not make eye contact with you.
“¿Estás bien, Ale? (you okay, Ale)” you whispered so only the blonde would hear you, placing your hand on her thigh as you spoke. 
Alexia’s gaze landed on your hand faster than you thought possible, her eyes burning into the back of your hand. The midfielder swallowed before giving you a hurried nod, not trusting her voice to answer you verbally.
You tried to hide your smirk from her, enjoying how affected she was by you yet not doing a thing about it. “Solo quería estar segura, (just wanted to be sure)” you mumbled, giving her thigh a quick pat before pulling your hand away. Your hand left a burning sensation on Alexia's skin that drove her crazy the entire meeting.
During the meeting, you could feel the blonde’s eyes on you every so often, but every time you turned your head to meet her stare, she jerked her head forward. Each time you held back a small laugh at her actions, though you were starting to wonder if she would ever tell you how she felt about you. 
Jona finished the meeting and dismissed everyone to go home for the day and your teammates started filtering out of the room. As you stood, you stretched your limbs trying to stall to give Alexia the chance to talk to you. 
“Y/n, espera un minuto, por favor (y/n, wait a minute, please),” you heard the blonde mutter from behind you. You quickly waved goodbye to Aitana and Keira before giving your full attention to Alexia. As the remaining players left the room, Patri and Pina made fake kissing noises but were stopped with one look from Irene.
“¿Qué pasa, bebita (what’s up, baby)?” You teased, sending the blonde a bright smile.
This time, you saw the red tint grace Alexia’s features. She avoided your eyes as the silence grew around you. As the seconds ticked by, your hope that she was going to confess started slipping away. 
“Me gustas mucho, (I like you a lot)” the blonde mumbled, her eyes focused on her hands that were fidgeting in her lap.
You bit back a big girn, opting to tease her to get more out of her. “Eso espero, somos compañeros de equipo. (I hope so, we are teammates)” you joked, earning an eye roll from your captain.
“No quiero decir.. Me gustas más que amigas, (No, I mean.. I like you more than friends)” Alexia said as she finally looked at you. You could see the nervousness in her eyes. Alexia is someone who tends to keep to herself so this was a big step for her.
You sat back in the seat you were in during the meeting, grabbing Alexia’s hands from her lap to hold on to them tightly. 
“Lo sé Ale. Estaba esperando que me lo dijeras tú mismo, (I know, Ale. I was waiting for you to tell me yourself)” You smiled, Alexia’s eyes growing large as you spoke.
“¿Supieras? (you knew?)” the blonde asked, the surprise lacing her voice. 
You laughed lightly at her response before nodding. “No eras la mejor en ocultarlo, bebita, (you weren’t the best at hiding it, bebita.)” you cooed, a loving look on your face.
Alexia’s face turned red once again, she was sure she had everything under control. Before she could respond, you beat her to it.
“A mí también me gustas, por cierto, (I like you too, by the way.)” you professed as a deep blush gracing your features as well. 
Alexia’s eyes locked with yours before dropping slightly to look at your lips. She didn’t have time to debate with herself over whether or not she should kiss you before you made the decision for her. Your lips met her in a soft kiss, letting her dictate how it went. One of Alexia’s came to rest on the side of your neck, holding you still as the kiss got a little bit more heated. 
You pulled away before it could get further, needing a breather more than anything. You wanted to take Alexia out on a date before things went any further. 
“¿te gustaría tener una cita conmigo? (would you like to go on a date with me?)” as you spoke your eyes dropped to your interlocked hands, despite both of you just confessing you were still nervous she might say no. 
Alexia’s hand that was resting on your neck moved to your jaw, tilting your head up to meet her gaze. The blonde leaned in for a quick kiss, whispering “sí” as she pulled away. 
Both of you sat in the film room with bright cheeks as you planned your future date. You were glad your teasing ended the way you wanted it to. All you could hope for now was that the date with Alexia went well and that maybe it progressed into something more.
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justlostinautumn · 1 month
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Abandoned Part 13
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
Klaus Mikaelson x Fem!Reader:
After her friends and boyfriend continuously leave her in danger and abandon every plan she makes for them the Originals slowly mend her breaking heart. The gang’s enemies become her friends with her and they don’t know how to feel about it. The last straw is walking in and seeing her boyfriend cheating on her and she runs to the ones who always care for her. What will the gang do when they lose something irreplaceable?
I know that this has been a long time coming and I can only hope that it lives up to what you expected! I have questions do you want redemption for anyone? Caroline? Bonnie? Stefan? (Those are the main three that I can think of, or do you want them to also be dragged down with Elena and Damon? Do you wnat to see Alaric betray Y/N?)
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Y/N & Klaus:
Y/N woke up with thumping in her head from all the drinking and fun Kat, Kai and she had. She let out a small whine looking around and noting she was in Klaus’ bed but not 100% certain how she got there. Flashes of the night before coming to her mind as she slowly began to wake. She was remembering the talking and joking with everyone and Y/N couldn’t help the fond smile that came to her lips. 
She remembered a light feeling filling her chest as she realized this is what it felt like to have a family. It was a feeling that she hadn’t felt since her brother and it made her feel emotional, burying her head further into the warmth of Klaus’ bed. She felt emotionally exhausted, she had been through so much in so little time she didn’t really know what to do with herself.
Y/N licked her lips feeling the dryness in her throat from the night of laughing, drinking, singing. The ding from her phone notifies her that she just received a message. She let out a loud groan making Klaus chuckle. She blindly looked for her phone and on the screen she saw a notification from Alaric. 
Can we meet? I want to talk about everything. Ric.
She had no idea what this meeting could be about but she was going to be cautious because as much as Ric is a father to her he is also Damon’s best friend. She didn’t want to be guilted back… she didn’t want to sever another tie. She couldn’t help the distrust she felt towards Alaric, he was Elena’s guardian and Damon’s best friend… she knew that no matter what he would always do what’s best for them and as much as she hated herself for thinking it she knew that she would never be able to trust him again.
Y/N didn’t want to have to get up and deal with this. She sighed as she felt Klaus’ finger trailing up and down her back and she sighed in contentment. She knew that the fun and laughter wouldn’t last forever, but she was hoping for more than just one day.
“Come on Love, we both know you can’t hide from this. It’s better to deal with it now than later.” Klaus softly encouraged her and she groaned in response knowing that he was right, but it didn’t mean that she wanted to deal with it. The thought of burying herself under a mountain of blankets or running away seemed to be a lot more appealing than actually having to face it.
“Can’t we just hide away for the day and pretend that everything is fine and I can nurse my hangover.” Y/N grumbled receiving another chuckle from Klaus and she knew he was grinning at her and she pinched his side making him yelp in surprise making her grin up at him. This is where she wanted to be and stay, in his warmth and she knew that it was too soon after Damon and she wasn’t looking to start anything new yet, but she just wanted to stop time and stay here with Klaus.
“You are a dangerous little thing.” Klaus growls and starts to tickle her resulting in her trying to push and kick him away as she shrieks. Klaus' chest filled with warmth at her smiling face and shrieks of laughter, this is where she was always meant to be with him… and sometimes under him!
“I’m sorry.” She pants and Klaus finally gives in, Y/N pouts at him as he grins triumphantly. “Meanie.”
“Come on, up you get!” Klaus rolled out of bed and Y/N reluctantly got up and walked into the bathroom to start her day. For the first time looking in the mirror, she looked at herself and she didn’t look tired… well she looked hungover, but there was a glow about her. It was the glow of happiness, love and hope.
Klaus knew this was the perfect time to get some planning done, he wouldn’t let her go alone knowing that the Scooby Gang might try something. So, he decided to send Hayley, Tyler and Enzo a text letting them know what was happening and also to ask them if they would go just in case.
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Alaric & Y/N:
Y/N slipped into the booth opposite Alaric. Y/N knew Tyler, Enzo and Haley were in the Grill watching and keeping an eye out for anything to happen. Hayley had become more protective of her little sister. It filled Y/N with that warmth that she had been seeking for so long and she didn’t mind one bit. But, she also knew that it was Klaus’ doing as well, he had become more protective too. She knew it was because he had seen her cry more in the last couple of days than she has in the whole time of them knowing each other and she knew that left him on edge… it actually left all of them on edge. Y/N isn’t usually a crier… well she just doesn’t cry in front of people.
“I see you brought company.” Alaric laughed softly, he was nervous about it. He didn’t know what Tyler and Enzo might do since it was clear the side that they had picked. But, he wasn’t all that surprised about it all. Tyler and Y/N had always been close from the moment that he first met them at the school, you could normally find the two together at some sort of mischief, but Enzo was new. Enzo was Damon’s oldest and closest friend, but somehow he got pulled into Y/N’s and Tyler’s mischievous ways and that was all there was. Enzo had taken to both of them as a sort of big brother role, he would always look out for the pair much as they looked out for him.
“They’re protective.” Y/N rolled her eyes but Alaric saw the small smile. It was contentment, he could see that she felt safe with them here. It hurt him knowing that she was nervous about meeting him, but he also couldn’t blame her for it. He knew that she wouldn’t be able to trust him like he once did and it made him sad.
“So, much has changed.” Alaric looks down at his hands and there is a sadness in his voice and it makes Y/N’s heart twinge in pain. He is one of the very few people that had been there for everything, every step of the way and she didn’t want to hurt him, but she was also incredibly scared to be burnt by them all again by trusting the wrong people. She just didn’t know how much she could trust him.
“I’m single, kinda homeless, found out I’m adopted… oh and don’t let me forget I found out that I have the werewolf gene!” Sarcasm rang through her voice and Alaric looked at her with worry. Y/N looked startled at what she had just said. She didn’t mean to say that out loud… she never wanted him to know that about her, what if he told the gang? What would they do about that bit of information?
“I won’t tell anyone and I didn’t know.” Ric said softly, he didn’t want her to think that he would’ve hidden it from her. He didn’t want her to believe that he would spill her secrets to the others and betray her like that.
“I know. This has all been a bit of a shit show hasn’t it?” Y/N laughs softly, she was still stiff and anxious about the little bit of information that she had let slip. Her eyes slipped over to Hayley who was giving her a soft smile, telling her that it would all be okay. Her eyes moved over to both Tyler and Enzo and they gave her a goofy smile, but their eyes said it all. They would protect her no matter what and it made her feel safe and assured that they could face anything!
“Where are you staying now? What’s happening with everything? Do you need anything?” Alaric spoke quickly and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at him. He’d always been quick to her rescue making sure that she had everything she needed and always a shoulder for her to lean on. She missed this, she missed him. He had been so busy with both Jeremy and Elena that they hadn’t had any time to catch up or talk.
“I’m okay. Klaus has ensured that I need and want for nothing.” Y/N smiled, but it slowly dropped and she let out a sigh, “I’m just at a loss. In two days my life has been turned upside down and truthfully I don’t know what to do with everything. It’s funny I always thought it would hurt, that what Damon and Elena did would break me. But, it wasn’t the cheating that hurt the most.” 
“I warned Damon to be good. I told him what would happen if he hurt you. I can’t believe that any of them would be so reckless with you.” Alaric was pissed, “Damon is a complete asshole for not seeing what was in front of him and he thinks you’re just going to walk through the door and take him back like he didn’t pull a load of crap on you.”
“Alaric.” Y/N laughed, finding his protectiveness amusing, but in the back of her mind she knew that he would always forgive them. He always did. She gave him a sad smile and he let out a heavy sigh. “You know you’re going to forgive them.”
“I don’t have to.” Ric argued and Y/N just gave him that sad smile that broke his heart every time. She had that look of understanding in her eyes and he knew he was lying to himself.
“You will because Damon is your best friend and you are Elena and Jeremy’s guardian. You will always forgive them because it’s who you are. Plus, Damon has done way worse things to you and you managed to forgive him for that, you’ll forgive him for this. You love them and that’s okay, because they’re your family but I can’t… not now and not anytime soon.” Y/N let out a heavy sigh and slumped in her seat as she looked around the Grill, but then spots Caroline watching her and Alaric intensely and she stiffens. Alaric frowns when he sees the hurt flashing in Y/N’s eyes. She knew he wouldn’t come alone, but she hoped he would.
“What is it?” Alaric frowns.
“I think it’s time I head back home. I’m tired and there are still things I need to sort out.” Y/N gave him a weak smile and squeeze of his hand before she started to walk away and out of the Grill with Tyler, Enzo and Hayley following behind her. When Alaric looks around his eyes settle on Caroline who has the decency to look down ashamed of being caught even though she wasn’t being subtle about it. Alaric knew then that he had lost Y/N’s trust, even if he didn’t know that Caroline would be there with Matt spying on them. He knew Y/N already had doubts rightfully so, but with them there it just confirmed it for her.
All Alaric wanted was to be neutral to be on either of their sides, but it seemed that Damon and Elena had made his decision for them and he knew that there was no way Y/N would allow him to have another chance and risk herself being used or hurt by them. 
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The Gang:
Matt and Caroline had made the decision that they needed to meet everyone before Alaric could get there, they needed to know everything that they had found out. It would’ve been more if Y/N  wasn’t so observant. The one thing that seemed to stick out to Caroline was how scared Y/N seemed about telling Alaric about the fact that she had the werewolf gene. When they arrived at the Boarding House they all were waiting in the lounge.
“How did she find out that she is a werewolf? How did she not know she was a werewolf?” Elena huffed, she doesn’t understand why they are still trying to get her back, it's not like they need her really. “Well she only just found out she was adopted, so maybe they left her a letter.” Stefan pointed out, he wasn’t completely happy with what was going on. “But, Klaus knew.” Damon pointed out and there was a glint in his eye like an idea had passed through his mind. “Maybe he wants to trigger her gene and then somehow turn her into a hybrid so he can have control over her through that freaky sire bond.” “We have to get her away from them.” Elena said, clinging to Damon. Damon was quick to sooth her and pulled her closer to him and ran his hand up and down her back. Stefan glared at his brother, knowing that he wanted both Elena and Y/N. “We will.” Damon nodded reassuringly, when Elena leaned up to kiss Damon, he flinched and glared down at her in confusion at why she would try and kiss him. “What if he isn’t planning to do that?” Stefan asked, trying to play devil's advocate. “It’s Klaus Stefan!” Elena whined, she was glaring at him. Why wouldn’t he just do what she said after all both Damon and Stefan love her! “Elena’s right Klaus is evil.” Damon nodded.
Caroline didn’t know what to think anymore, there was so many conflicting feelings about everything. She also knows that Bonnie is facing a crisis of faith about everything that has been happening. She had known Y/N all her life, but she cannot remember the point in which everything became about Elena... she knew that Stefan was also confused about everything that has been going on. Caroline knew that her loyalty with Elena, but she has to question how far she was willing to go for her.
Abandoned Tags:
@badwolf-winchester , @yolobloggers , @mydelusionalworld-7 , @mylovehes , @wolfprincess114, @cinthias-corner, @annievvv7, @anyasthoughts , @twilight-loveer , @supermassiveblackhope , @labyrinthlibrarian, @daphnen21 , @deviljoonie, @a--1--1--3 , @strawberryxpie , @simonsaysyasss , @bitterstar88 , @therealmrshale , @siphonersalvatore, @chynagirl13 , @fading-mentality-bouquet, @lustgardn, @duskyinkpages, @redvelvet-vampire , @bellagrayson-wayne , @woohoney , @romyislief , @lexxxtacyy , @hi-my-name-is-riley , @thesweetgoose, @train-wrecc , @soxconfusedx , @abuskinswarrior , @booboo-icu , @woodworthti666 , @kazzilla , @slutlanna976 , @cutiepie6473 , @vampiregirl1797 , @geekofmanyforms , @casedoina , @lctusflwrs, @criticizing-blogger , @lovelydivs , @goodjackboy , @sorrowfulfragmentation , @misselsbells06, @qveenmikaelson , @woohoobean , @cjphoenix135, @alka16555, @yourwaywardprincess , @nononodidimentionno, @southside-imagines, @nickangel13, @loki-is-love , @lovie0-0 , @rexit-mo , @muxshwriting , @wh30re , @jaytonks, @nics-fxy , @goth-cowgirl-03 , @girlkissersco , @mia-19-23, @hayleym1234 , @thelostallycat
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
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Hi!!! I love your Get Off My Screen series so much! I was wondering if I could do a request for that?
Basically the idea is that Vox and the reader are just texting at night maybe and he lets something slip about something he misses from his old life on earth and because of that the reader remembers that the person they’ve been talking to for like over a year by now probably used to be alive and just spends the whole night learning everything they can about vox when he was alive (I imagine this would happen whilst vox was asleep and we’re just googling him) and then maybe I feel like we’d also google Alastor as a joke to see what all the fuss is about and then we find out that the person vox is ~~crushing~~ hating on is a serial killer and then just telling everything we learned when he wakes up.
Sorry if that’s really long I just fell like this is 100% what I would do in this situation
Old Times Gone By
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: I'm so glad you guys are requesting scenarios within the series, heck- I'm glad y'all enjoy it this much already hahaha! This is somewhat of an aftermath to the "You Could Do Better(With Me)" which is why it's not as cheery as the other chapters- but it's definitely not straight up angst. Just vulnerability and late night chatting between friends. Haha "friends"- And as always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and happy reading!
A/N: Again, I kind of deviated from the prompt a little to better fit the narrative but Reader does know about Alastor and who he is because of Vox's ranting. They're aware that her demonic crush has a weird obsession with a cannibalistic radio serial killer deer dude and it's still not the weirdest thing he's done so far HAHAHAHA
If there was one thing Vox had to say he hated about drinking-
It had to be dealing with the hellish hangovers come morning.
Especially when he'd been wasted the night before.
A sharp jab in his side caused him to wake up this time.
He grunted, nearly falling off his chair when he shifted ever so slightly.
Huh-
Wait, why was he in here???
He could feel the migraine start to pound in his head.
Vox wasn't looking forward to today already.
When he tried to stand up, a clink of a bottle made him look down by his feet.
Picking it up to give the darn thing a once over, he scoffed.
He must have been absolutely hammered to have finished this yesterday.
It was a brand he despised the taste of too.
"Vox-? Oh, you're up."
His head whipped around so quickly once he heard your voice.
When had he even connected to your TV?
Not that he complained, he managed to see you sat up on the couch and stretching.
Your hair stuck up in odd positions and you even looked to be half-awake.
Why was that fucking cute???
"I- mhm. I guess I am. Was I... drinking yesterday?"
"I don't really know, I just knew you were drunk out of your mind last night. I can only see your face remember?"
"Ah... right."
Vox couldn't really bring himself to say much this time, not while he was still trying to grab the bits and pieces of his memory on yesterday's events.
Did he really wander into the monitor room just because he missed you?
That was low, even for him.
"Good morning anyhow, not that I think it would be if you're dealing with a hangover."
Vox just chuckled, watching you get up and disappear from the TV's view.
He wasn't in any mood to work at all, especially when he had a shitty headache to deal with too.
Eh, his empire could last a day without him.
He notified his secretary to just cancel all his duties and appointments for today, just ignoring their panic as you returned back into view.
"What are you holding?"
"Coffee."
"I thought you said you hated coffee?"
"Not hate, I just don't prefer it. But I need the caffeine to function today and I'd rather drink this bean juice than those energy drinks."
Vox wouldn't admit it, but talking to you again was already starting to make him feel a little better.
Especially after your noticeable absence.
He'd rather die again that outright say he missed you, his pride wouldn't allow it.
Cracking his joints, he just watched you sleepily stare up at him from where you sat on the couch.
Granted, it was probably because your TV was probably perched higher or on a shelf.
But Vox still thought you were kind of short.
Not that he had the right to say anything-
He was a 7ft tall giant compared to you.
"Again with the bean juice thing, and what's wrong with energy drinks?"
"They taste like straight up chemicals."
Vox just gave you a weird look when you rolled your eyes at him.
Still you just kept talking to him inbetween taking sips of your hot beverage.
"I'm not surprised you enjoy them, but your palate is probably shit."
"Oh you do not wanna go there-"
"What if I do huh? Watcha gonna do about it?"
Vox just grinned, you getting up to move closer to the screen as you challenged him.
The wide mischievous grin on your face mirrored his own and you both quickly devolved into just either bragging about exotic foods you've eaten-
Or straight up going for the jugular about each other.
"You eat McDonald's daily? I can't believe you'd feed yourself garbage Vox-"
"It's not garbage, and don't act like you've never eaten fast food."
"You are what you eat, I guess!"
"Ohoho! You bitch!"
Vox didn't seem to mind the numbing headache he felt when you were back to being your animated rambunctious self.
He wondered if it was because of the caffeine that made you all hyped up but he couldn't really bring himself to give a shit.
Not when he was still pretty tired.
It seems you noticed his retorts weren't making their usual mark though, and you crossed your arms over your chest while leaning towards the TV screen.
Vox just narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, what were you doing?
"You my good sir, need a hot cup of coffee more than I do. And freshen up while you're at it, I need to go take a shower too anyways."
You-
You did not just do what he think you did.
Were you actually mothering him??
Vox just rolled his eyes at your words, not really intending to go until he realized you weren't budging an inch either.
"Didn't you just say you needed to go clean up?"
"Not leaving till you are."
"Stubborn much?"
"Not that different from you, no."
The tech overlord laughed at your insistence, eventually relenting and disconnecting himself from your devices.
He stretched again when he got up from his chair, picking up the empty alcohol bottle near his feet not intending to clutter up or dirty his workspace.
Vox perked up when his phone buzzed though.
The darn thing catching his attention before he forgot it was there.
He checked on it with his free hand, chuckling when he realized it was just a message from you.
"Go and freshen yourself up, get a cup of coffee too while you're at it. I'll be back soon, kisses!"
You almost caused him to break his phone from the grip he had on it.
Kisses???
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!
Vox seriously stood there staring at his phone for a good ten minutes just buffering and rebooting-
Dude is actually broken the second you do literally anything with vaguely romantic undertones.
Still he stomps all over his own hopes and feelings in fear of misinterpreting your friendliness.
Yeah, both of you were fucking clueless.
You stayed true to your word and did eventually come back after you'd cleaned yourself up.
Vox had just been waiting on your TV again and the screen brightened slightly upon noticing you.
It was a subconscious reaction, don't bring it up or he'll definitely throw a hissy fit.
So that's what you both did the whole day, talking and just catching up.
While Vox did mention you skipped classes for the day, you just shot back that he threw his work to the backburner as well.
Not that he bothered to refute it, instead just moving on with the conversation like normal.
Hours passed and time flew.
Before you knew it, the both of you were talking well into the evening.
"And that's kind of the reason why I think spaghetti is superior to penne."
"Doll, they're straight up just different kinds of pasta."
"The fact there's different kinds of pasta mean that people clearly can't decide on a superior noodle shape."
Yeaaah... your conversations kind of stopped making sense an hour ago.
Not that either of you minded, even laughing about some stupid thing way into the AM.
"So like- he thought he was really some hot shit taking on the leader of the exorcists but he got his ass absolutely handed to him!"
"Bro almost got turned into demonic venison HAHAHAHA!"
Though of course, late night conversations always went deeper than those normally held within the day.
"Say... Vox?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you miss being alive? With, ya know- talking to me and all."
Vox paused slightly, it's been a long time since he reminisced of his living days.
When was the last time he even did?
"Not necessarily, I miss some things but not a whole lot."
"Like what? When did you die???"
"Hm... I don't remember the exact date, but sometime in the fifties?"
Vox recoiled when you just gawked at his screen, why did you react like that?
"Holy shit! You're fucking ancient!"
"Haha... very funny doll, I'm not that old! I died in my thirties."
"Ehhhh? You're not much older than I am then. How??"
"Don't remember, it was a long long time ago."
You made a weird face at him, to which Vox just smiled and chuckled.
It was the same expression you wore when trying to figure things out.
As... weird and cute as it may be.
Then you suddenly yawned, causing the tech overlord to consequently do the same.
Something you poked fun at him for since when did TVs yawn apparently.
Rolling his eyes, Vox took a glance at his internal clock.
It was four in the morning?!
How long had you both been talking????
"Vox? You good?"
Apparently his bewilderment was evident on the screen, so he just switched his attention back to you.
Vox's screen glitched slightly when he was caught off guard by how close you got to the TV.
Almost all up in his face even.
"Y-Yeah, just zZst- fine. Say... Doll, do you know what time it is?"
"Uhhhh- no, not really- why?"
"It's four in the morning."
"And?"
"You need to sleep?"
You rolled your eyes and turned your back to the TV, plopping down on the couch with a pout.
"Hey."
You ignored him.
"Heeeeeey-"
Vox couldn't help but chortle from your antics, you really seemed like a grumpy child right now.
"Look dollface, I don't want the fun to end either but we've still got tomorrow."
"I don't wanna say goodnight. You're just going to disconnect when I do."
"What, you can't expect me to fall asleep hooked up to all your stuff again can you? My chair isn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep."
"Still!"
Vox rubbed his face with a sigh, he felt the inexplicable urge to just pinch your cheeks.
He would if he could but he didn't exactly have hands as a TV.
Why did you have to be so cute?
"How about this? I'll stick around until you pass out. You won't even notice I'm gone come morning."
"Fineeeeeee."
It didn't take too long for you to fall asleep on the couch.
Similarly to yesterday, you were just haphazardly sprawled across the furniture with a thin blanket to cover you.
Despite his words, Vox still stuck around for a while to make sure you were asleep.
You looked so serene while you rested, like you didn't have any worries.
The overlord let out a tired sigh, he'll just stick around for another five minutes.
Just a little longer in this peaceful moment with you.
Vox totally fell asleep in his chair again, he woke up that morning in an awkward position feeling more sore than ever too.
"Oh for fuck's sake-"
"MORNING VOXYYY!!!"
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starkwlkr · 11 months
Text
a little too much | charles leclerc
a very happy dilf day to jenson button and sebastian vettel!
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All week Ruby had been wiggling her loose tooth trying to get it to fall off. Ever since she was told that the tooth fairy would bring her money in exchange for her tooth, she was desperate for it to fall off.
“Ruby, don’t do that. It will fall off on its own, you just have to be patient.” Y/n said to the little girl after dinner. As Charles and Y/n cleaned up the dinner table, Ruby ran to the bathroom and checked her tooth in the mirror.
“Arthur should be the one to give her the money since he told her about the tooth fairy.” Charles joked. He already had money put aside for when Ruby finally lost her tooth and it was his job to slip in a couple of euros under the girl’s pillow.
“You know she told me she’s expecting enough to get that barbie dream house but she wants the one with the pool so her barbie’s can swim in it.” Y/n explained. Apart from talking all week about her tooth, Ruby also had her eyes set on the Barbie dream house she saw weeks ago in the store.
“She already has two of those. My mother got her one and I bought her the other one.”
“She has two because her papa couldn’t resist buying her anything she wants. What was it you said? Whatever Ruby wants, Ruby gets? I love you for making our daughter happy, but she doesn’t need a million toys.” Y/n kissed her husband’s cheek.
“She’s only little for a while, amour, I want to enjoy it while I can.”
A week later, Charles and Y/n were invited to a party by Joris. And of course Charles took advantage of the alcohol. Pascale had offered to look after Ruby so the couple could have a day off from parenting. Ruby loved being with her grand-mère. She even showed Pascale her loose tooth and when she tried to wiggle it with her tounge, she felt the tooth move more than it did before. Seconds later, Ruby spit out her tooth into her hand and proudly showed it to Pascale.
“The tooth fairy is coming!” She ran around the house holding her tooth.
“She is! How much do you think the tooth fairy is going to bring you?” Pascale asked the excited girl.
“A lot! I’m going to buy Barbie’s dream house that comes with the pool and all my Barbie’s are going to live in it.” Ruby explained.
By the time Y/n and Charles arrived home, Ruby was fast asleep with her tooth under her pillow. Pascale had informed them of it when they arrived. She also saw how Charles was being held up by Y/n since he had a little too much to drink.
“Thank you for taking care of my Ruby, maman.” Charles said as Y/n helped him up the stairs.
“Take care of yourself, Charles. I’ll see you two soon.” Pascale smiled and left the Leclerc house.
“I’m taping your hands so you don’t ever have another drink ever again.” Y/n teased.
“I will find a way to drink.”
When the couple finally made it to their room, Charles threw himself on his bed and let out a sigh. He missed his bed all day.
“I’m going to take a quick shower. Go to sleep, I mean it.” Y/n kissed Charles and walked to the bathroom.
While his wife was busy, Charles remembered about Ruby’s tooth. He groaned as he moved to his side to grab his wallet from his back pocket. Then he forced himself out of the bed and stumbled to Ruby’s room, trying to be quiet.
Ruby’s room wasn’t completely dark. She had rainbow night light illuminating her room. He gently lifted Ruby’s pillow and grabbed the small tooth then placed the money where the tooth was. He then managed to make it back to his room without Ruby or Y/n noticing.
When morning came, the first thing Ruby did was check under her pillow and what she found made her extremely happy. In school, her teacher had taught her about money and it’s value so when she counted it, she was 100% sure it was enough to buy her Barbie dream house.
In the kitchen, all the Leclerc’s had reunited for breakfast. Charles was still in pain, but with some painkillers and breakfast, he was soon recovering. Arthur had been teasing him all morning.
“So, how much did you give Ruby for her tooth?” Arthur asked.
“Four or five euros. She’s probably going to spend it on candy.” Charles replied, grabbing his orange juice and drinking from it.
“Papa! Maman! The tooth fairy gave me one hundred euros!” Ruby ran to the kitchen where she found her entire family eating breakfast. That made Charles choke on his drink and spill most of it on himself.
“Ruby, let me see,” Ruby handed her mother the money she was given. After double checking, it was clear that Ruby definitely had one hundred euros. “Wow, the tooth fairy did give you a lot of money.” Y/n glanced at Charles, who frantically searching for his wallet.
“Can we go buy Barbie’s dream house? My Barbies told me they want the one with the pool.” Ruby asked.
“Barbies don’t talk.” Arthur teased. He and Ruby always joked around with each other.
“Not to you.” Replied Ruby. “Ask uncle Enzo. Tour guide Barbie told him Italy is the best place to ask auntie Charlotte to marry him.”
Lorenzo nodded, playing along with the girl. “It’s true. Tour guide Barbie doesn’t lie.”
“Is there a teacher Barbie so she can teach your papa how to count?” Y/n asked.
Ruby stayed silent and thought about her collection of Barbies. Then she gasped. “There is.”
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chuplayswithfire · 7 months
Text
I have more thoughts on how and why the sex was a mistake. I will be thinking about this all week. All year.
Let's start with: the sex was consensual, they both wanted it, and that does not change that it was the wrong decision for their relationship in that moment. They should not have had sex! Ed is 100% correct and he is not running away when he says that! He is not just avoiding his feelings or getting cold feet, he is genuinely correct, and here's why:
They continue to be on different pages. They have not had a chance to talk it through. It's been like 2-3 max since Ed woke up from the Gravy Basket, and emotions are still running high. Even ignoring that they were just tortured in front of each other and that Stede killed a man right after Ed asked him not to, they were not in the same space emotionally regarding their relationship.
Fir one thing: Stede did *not* get his heartbroken (prior to this). He got his romantic affirmation. Season 1 was an entire arc leading to Stede realizing he is gay, that he is in love, that he is loved in return. For him, for HIM, sex is a natural next step, and we already knew he wanted it from how he deepened their kiss in episode 5. Their relationship itself is not a source of trauma for Stede; he loves Ed and he walked away from his old life to be with him, and now he found him again, and they've agreed to do it together, figure things out, his romantic hopes are realized.
And in that moment, adding to that background informations, is that Stede also wanted to avoid all his messy feelings by being physical. He was tortured and he watched Ed and his crew be tortured, he was insulted and had to listen to Ed be insulted, and he wanted to regain control and power by killing Ned Low, and removing the threat. That's where Stede's head is.
Ed, on the other hand, did get his heart broken and while the majority of what he's working through is about his self-hatred, his dissatisfaction with his career, and his desire to find a life that feels worth living, he is also dealing with a significant amount of trust issues with his relationship with Stede, because Stede left him. He has heard from Stede that he loves him, but Ed's deepest fear is that he's unlovable, and he hasn't gotten over that, or his hurt from how things went, in the like two days it's been.
But he loves Stede, and he's attracted to him, and he wants him, so when Stede initiates and manhandles him a bit and things get hot and heavy, he consents. He's all in, carried away by the moment.
And he regrets it.
He especially wasn't ready because Ed is a planner. I know we were all joking about how they definitely weren't going to take it slow and they were going to rush through, but I do genuinely think he meant it. Ed's natural state is as a planner and tactician, everything has an angle for him and even when he wants to just be simple, he always has a bajillion factors in mind that he's juggling, so we can be sure that Ed probably did very much have thoughts about how he wanted their first time to go, and what he wanted them to do and grow into as a relationship before they had sex, and instead they got tortured, Stede killed a man, and then they fucked in the aftermath.
Not bloody optimal indeed.
Now back to Stede: he is utterly unprepared for the idea that the sex could be a mistake because to and for him it was the natural next step in their relationship. This is his romantic fantasy is the thing; he was a cool brave pirate captain who made an enemy walk the plank in defense of his crew and his boyfriend, and then Ed came to him and Stede got to sweep him off his feet and shove him against the wall, kiss him, bring him to the bed, and pointedly shut the curtains on an audience that doesn't exist, followed by a lazy morning after with breakfast in bed.
So it probably hurts extra that Ed is like that was a mistake. This is literally him living his fantasy from episode 1, Ned Low even has facial hair and is mean to him like Izzy used to be. He could ignore all the realities of that situation, because he was living his fantasy, and Ed dragged them both out of fantasyland, back to the real world, where their relationship isn't fixed 100% and sex didn't change that.
They weren't on the same page. They still aren't, because they need to talk.
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surftrips · 2 years
Text
who's the guy?
pairing: jj maybank x reader (ft. the pogues!)
summary: the pogues find out y/n is seeing a new guy, and will not stop until they find out who he is.
word count: 846
a/n: just a short fluff piece! <3
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"Soooo, what's his name?" Sarah asked, leaning towards you and batting her eyelashes.
"Whose name?" JJ had just joined you and the rest of the Pogues in John B.'s living room.
"Apparently, there is a mystery man in Y/N's life and she won't give him up!" Kie explained.
"Oh, is that so? I hope he knows how to fight," JJ said, looking at you with a glint in his eye.
"Hey! No one is fighting anyone!" you responded, actively trying not to blush at his comment.
"Okay, but we need to know if he's good enough for our Y/N. What does he look like?" Kie pressed you for answers.
You sighed, "He's tall, has blonde hair, he's super smart, like Pope level-"
John B. interrupted you, "You being for real? No one is smarter than Pope."
"If you hadn't interrupted me, you would've heard me say that he is as smart as Pope, I didn't say smarter," you replied matter-of-factly.
Sarah giggled, "Ignore him. What else can you tell us!!"
Honestly, you didn't want to give too much away. As much as you loved the Pogues, you also enjoyed the thrill that came with having a secret relationship. Plus, there was no pressure to make appearances or act a certain way in public. You two could just be yourselves.
However, this conversation was a whole lot of fun, and you and him had figured it was about time to reveal your secret soon anyway.
"Well, let's see..." You tapped your index finger on your chin as you contemplated what to reveal next. "He likes to go surfing and on fishing trips."
"Okay, so literally any other Pogue on the island?" Pope joked.
"Oh, yeah, he's a Pogue if I've ever seen one," you chuckled.
The room was silent for a second while everyone tried to figure out who it was you had been sneaking off to see for the past few weeks.
"Ugh, I don't know," Kie groaned. "You're positive we've met this guy before?"
"Yes. 100%." It took everything in you not to erupt into a fit of laughter right then and there.
"Alright, but on a scale of 1 to 10 how handsome would you say he is?" JJ asked.
John B. nudged his friend in the arm, "JJ, how is that going to help us?"
"Because! I'm clearly a solid 10, and John B., you're like a seven, so we can use that to compare!" JJ barely finished his sentence before JB was throwing his pillow at him.
"Chill, dude! I was joking... kinda!" JJ said in-between the thumps of the pillow hitting his body.
"If you must know, I think he's a ten," you said with a smile, causing John B. to halt his assault on JJ.
Surprisingly, no one caught on to the very obvious hint in front of their faces.
"I seriously can't think of anyone on this island that's a ten," Kie said. You made the mistake of giggling at the thought of her reaction when she would finally find out who it was you were describing.
"What are you laughing at?" she chuckled nervously.
"Oh, nothing. Just how stupid you're gonna feel when I tell you," you answered.
"Are you ever gonna tell us?" Sarah sighed, on the edge of defeat.
"You know what, I don't think I ever will," you said jokingly.
Immediately the room filled with groans and complaints of "Come on!" and "Just say it, we won't judge!" from everyone. Everyone except JJ.
"Dude, you don't wanna know who this guy is?" Pope was asking him.
"I... kinda have a feeling who it is already," he winked at you.
This next hint did not go unnoticed by the rest of the Pogues.
Again, the room erupted with the sounds of your best friends, but this time with confusion and surprise.
"WAIT WHAT??"
"Are you kidding right now?"
"You're sleeping with JJ???"
JJ wrapped his arms around your waist as he came up behind you. "Hey! Watch how you speak about her boyfriend!"
You couldn't help but giggle like a little girl with a crush, because that's exactly how he made you feel.
"You're right, Y/N, I do feel so incredibly stupid right now. It was right in front of our faces this entire time!" Kie exclaimed.
"Yeah- all of those times I 'stayed at home' or left to check on Y/N were just excuses to see each other," JJ explained.
You wish you could've captured the faces of your friends as they reacted to this news. It was priceless.
"Wait- there's one thing I don't get though. Didn't you say he was as smart as Pope....?" John B. asked, both confused and amused.
"Yeah... haha about that... I only said it as a joke to throw y'all off," you admitted.
"What?? So you don't think I'm as smart as Pope?" JJ said to you, acting, or actually offended, you couldn't tell.
"Babe, I said you were a solid ten. I think that should be enough for your ego today."
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wayward-dreamer · 7 months
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Hi, I was wondering if you could write a story where soilder boy is dating Y/n, and they start talking, and he asks her if she thinks he would be a good dad. Which leads to them talking about starting a family together. And then one of them says something along the lines of "Why don't we try now?" Then it turns into smut. If not it's okay, thanks!
Father Material
Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader
Word count: 1,468
Summary: Curiosity from the public and media has Ben expressing his dream to be a father. Y/N wants to make his dream a reality.
Warnings: Swearing, some angst, mentions of SB's nefarious actions, smut: dirty talk, rough sex, breeding kink.
A/N: This request has been in my inbox forever, so I apologise for long it took! I hope you like it Layla! Happy reading! :) Thanks to my besties/betas @hintsofhoney and @makeadealwithdean for looking over this. Sorry not sorry for killing you hehe
also there's plenty more Soldier Boy content on the way because apparently I've become an SB smut dealer lmaooo
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“Do you think I’d make a good father?”
That was the question that sparked the sex marathon they had been in for hours now. Given that he was a supe, Soldier Boy had the stamina for withstanding just about anything, and if he had it his way he could probably last well into the night. She on the other hand was flagging quickly, the downside of being 100% human, but she really couldn’t bring herself to tell him to stop. Not when he always knew just how to make her toes curl and her body quake with euphoric bliss. He may have known what buttons to push to get her going, but that didn’t mean their encounters were predictable. They were far from it, and that day was no exception.
The day started out like any other. He had meetings with hero management, followed by filming a commercial for Cracker Jack, which then led to interviews with different channels. She finally stepped out of their penthouse that night to join him on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, draped in an emerald green dress to match his suit, complete with gold accessories. Usually interviews weren’t really her favorite thing to do, but being America’s golden couple meant that they needed to be seen in public in order to keep that status. So they did what they always did. They laughed and joked with quick-witted Carson, charmed the audience and made the nation fall deeper for them with each caress of a hand or sweet kiss. Some may have thought it was just for the cameras, those cynical spectators that didn’t have any business commenting on what goes on behind closed doors, but they both knew the truth about their relationship.
They were in love. They had been since the moment he propositioned her in the elevator of the Vought American building, leading to one of the wildest nights she had ever had. Most would call it lust, but when you understood someone on a deeper level like they both did, it was most definitely love. A warped, messed up kind of love, but nonetheless, that’s what it was. She wasn’t stupid; she knew the kind of man he was, what he had to do during the war, and in Vought’s name since he joined their roster. She knew there were some off the books black ops missions he had gone on, even if she didn’t know the details. She heard the rumors about Dealey Plaza, too. She knew that he was fucked up despite his God fearing, all-American persona for the public, but she didn’t care.
In order to love someone like that, she had to be a little fucked up too. Well, more than a little.
Despite distracting everyone with their incredible charisma, questions of settling down and starting a family came up, and she knew she had to think of an answer fast when she saw Ben’s face go blank. With her biggest grin, she turned to Carson and said “Well, if anything happens Johnny, you’ll be the first to know!” They covered it up with hearty laughs as the audience joined in, along with the host, before he thanked them for their time to raucous applause.
The drive back to the Vought building was quiet, her concern growing for him until his words: “Do you think I’d make a good father?” broke the silence.
“Why do you ask?” she questioned in return, softly as to not scare him from broaching the subject.
“That fucking Carson,” he muttered, staring out the window at the bright lights. “I just… I guess he got me thinkin’, that’s all. Forget it.”
She wasn’t going to. She knew there was something he wanted to tell her, something he wanted of her, and she needed to know what it was.
“Thinking about what?”
“Thinkin’ about… about how I’d do it better than my father ever did,” he confessed. “We’d make some perfect fucking kids, that’s for damn sure.”
She smiled softly, her hand curling over his as she slid across the backseat and pressed herself against his side. She nuzzled her nose along his jaw, leaving small kisses along his stubble as she reached his ear, her breath fanning against the shell as she whispered her own desire to do the same.
“Then let’s start right now.”
And that was how they found themselves in their bedroom twenty minutes later, with her holding herself up on her quivering hands and knees as he pounded into her from behind, his fingers digging into her skin with a bruising hold as his pelvis smacked against the curve of her ass. He had contorted her into every position possible since then for the last couple of hours, with barely a few minutes to breathe between each romp in the sheets. She had lost track of how many positions, and she was about to lose count of how many times he had spilled inside her, both of them getting closer to that release once more.
“Oh god, oh god!” she moaned wantonly, her forehead pressed against the mattress as her hands fisted the sheets. She was completely unbothered about how loud she was and the fact that people had probably heard them by now.
“No need to bring him into this, doll,” he chuckled, the sound broken up by his groans of pleasure. “Just me and you here…”
“You’re so fucking cheesy,” she mumbled, a guttural whimper escaping her at a particularly angled thrust against her g-spot.
“You fucking love it,” he countered, smirking as he suddenly pulled out of her.
Ignoring her whine of protest, Soldier Boy flipped her over onto her back and grabbed her legs, bending her in half as her calves rested on his shoulders, sliding back into her tight heat with a quick, hard thrust. The sounds that left them were nothing short of pornographic, as he began to pick up the pace with each push of his hips against her. He squeezed his eyes shut as her walls clenched around his throbbing cock, both of them balancing on the edge of their blissful climax, ready to go over at any minute.
“So fucking good, so fucking perfect, Y/N,” he growled, their faces close as he leaned over her. “You love the way I fuck you, don’t ya?”
“Yes!” she cried out, nodding frantically as she stared up into his green orbs. “Love the way you fuck me… you fuck me so good, Ben. So deep, and hard, wanna feel it for days.”
“Oh you will, sugar,” he groaned, between rough kisses against her lips. “Gonna fill you up, make you feel so full, make you full and round with my babies. You want that?”
“Yeah,” she breathed.
“Fuck, yeah you do,” he husked. “Tell me, tell me you want it.”
“I want it, I want it so bad, Ben,” she whimpered, the sound practically a sob with how desperate she was to finally let go. “I want you to fill me up, give it to me.”
“Cum for me, doll, soak my cock,” he said, looking deep into her eyes.
Y/N finally felt the dam breaking as a loud, shrieking moan escaped her, her walls contracting around his shaft as her arousal spread over him. He grunted loudly, his hips snapping harder against her, as he tried to hold himself back. His eyes fluttered, about to close, but her hands on his face stopped him, making him pay attention to her as their gazes locked. As she had with each time he had reached his peak that night, she stroked her thumbs along his jaw, slowly nodding her encouragement and desire to feel his seed deep inside her.
“S-Say it,” he stuttered, his neck straining as he held on just a little longer. “Fuckkk, s-say it-”
She bit her lip, knowing how it drove him crazy, before she parted them and uttered the words that sent him over the edge at the end of round that night.
“You’re gonna be a great dad… better than your own.”
Soldier Boy threw his head back, the veins in his neck pressing against his skin as he let out a guttural moan, his cock pulsing deep inside her tight canal. She moaned softly as she felt the warm spurts of his cum coat her walls, filling her up as he had done several times that night already. They both breathed heavily, trying to calm their racing hearts, neither of them wanting to move away from the other. He buried his face in her neck, planting soft pecks along her pulse point, bringing a smile to her face as they basked in the afterglow.
Both of them hoped that it wouldn’t be too much longer before their dream became a reality.
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