#i love griffin's ability to come up with absolute nonsense

[pherre]

i don't think these are words that exist

#i love griffin's ability to come up with absolute nonsense #taz dracula lb

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Where the Jew Queen Lays Her Eggs

I finally got an opportunity to actually watch Jojo Rabbit. This was one of my most anticipated films from last year however, as I live in the armpit of California known as Sacramento, it was like pulling eye teeth trying to find a theater where this thing was playing. I was curious how much of the ridiculous controversy was warranted and how ridiculous Taika's Hitler would tun out but I never got the opportunity to see it in theaters. Fortunately, that's what the auxiliary markets are for! Let's see if this movie is as divisive as everyone says.

The Best

Waititi won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay during this past Oscar circle jerk. While I don't really put too much stock in media awards, I understand that the industry does, so this was a boon for him. The thing is, that Oscar, as cavalier as it may be, doesn't mean that this movie didn't deserve the win. This screenplay is absolutely hilarious! It's incredibly well written, amazingly organic, and bursting with heart. This story is tragic and beautiful and deserves all of the accolades.

The performances in this thing are amazing but this movie wouldn't be what it is without Jojo and, oh my, does Roman Griffin Davis bring this character to life. He's absolutely amazing in this role, which is rare because most kid can't act for sh*t! Kid is out here, keeping pace with legitimate heavyweights like Scarlett Johansson and Sam Rockwell. If he decides to continue in movies, he'll develop into a very real star.

Thomasin McKenzie is absolutely amazing as Elsa. I haven't seen her in much but I have heard great things about her ability. If her performance in this is any kind of measure, madame is a real force and a talent to watch. She's only nineteen so I'm looking forward to what comes next.

Yorki is one of the best things about this movie and Archie Yates absolutely lives this role. He's another child actor that kills every scene. Dude chews as much scenery as Waititi's Hitler and it's kind of amazing. I'm actually surprised that dude was able to get such legitimate performances out of twelve-year-olds.

Stephen Merchant is legitimately terrorizing in this movie. His Gestapo Agent, Deertz, is incredibly sinister. He's the closest thing to an antagonist you get in this film and he sure as f*ck antagonizes, man. I've been a fan of Merchant for a long time but he's flexing his acting muscles hard I this flick.

I would actually be remiss if I didn't mention Waititi's Hitler this high in the review. Dude is actually hilarious in the roll. All of that controversy and nonsense was unnecessary. He approaches the role with such quirky aplomb, you can't help but love him. Hitler. You end up loving Hitler and it's ridiculous. This, by no means, glorifies anything about what the Nazis did but it kind of celebrates their manic incompetence toward the end of the war. It's actually hilarious. That said, he's not the focus of this movie. His relationship with Jojo is more of an accentuation – a personification – of the kid's zealotry. If you look at it through those eyes, it makes sense why Taika's take is so absurd.

The Better

The sound design in this flick was outstanding. This is like, the ninth film in a row where I had to mention that. Like, absolutely had to. It's an integral part of the film and it work beautiful. It's wild to me what you can do with a complimentary song or punctuating effect. I mean, it's really not, but it is mad surprising that so many films in the last year or so, have effectively used their sound design so aptly. I'm use to Bayhem levels of nonsense.

My, goodness, is this movie gorgeous. Every shot is structured, framed, composed, and executed with a loving passion. It's rare you see this kind of artistry in American cinema. It's very apparent Taika Waititi wanted  specific set of scenes to match his very specific vision and I think he delivered in spades with this movie. His direction is absolutely the reason this film, visually, shines so bright. It's very Wes Anderson-esque, but at the same time, completely unique in it's own right. That's a very fine line to balance but Waititi straight Biles'd that sh*t.

The cast is incredibly strong in this film. All the roles were perfectly embodied and each performance was lovingly brought to life. You can tell that everyone had a great time on set and it the onscreen acting that much more. I mention a few standouts in The Best but, honestly, everyone is excellent in this movie and deserves a mention.

The Good

This movie is about Jojo. It's his film. It lives and dies by that performance. As such, everyone is is basically supporting. While a lot of the actual acting in this thing breathes excellence, there is so little of it outside of Davis. The kid is amazing, don't get me wrong, but having the focus so precise kind of mitigates everyone else to glorified cameos. Brilliant cameos, but cameos nonetheless. That's kind of a double-edged sword, though, because you want more of certain characters but there isn't more to experience. That's kind of a bummer.

I like Scarlett Johansson in this. She gives a really good performance. But her accent? I dunno, man. It feels, like, caricature German. Like, this is the accent you make when making light of Germans or whatever. It could just be her voice though. Either way, her Rosie was the definition of beautiful and I loved every second she was onscreen, weird accent and all.

Rebel Wilson was also dope in this as Fraulein Rahm. This performance is literally the best I've ever seen her give. I was actually quite impressed. Usually, she's fat funny but that only gets you so far. Like, who needs a female Kevin James, right?

The pacing in this film is rather brisk. It's not very long but it moves. There doesn't feel like there's any excess fat on the plot and I like that. It keeps the movie focused, potent. It's just another feather in Waititi's cap. I hear people mention that there are no more masters in cinema but there's a crop of young visionaries coming up that can take their place, I think. Robert Eggers, Edgar Wright, Alex Garland, and Deni Villeneuve are all creators that can give those New Hollywood legends a run for their money but, with this film, Waititi secures a spot on that list, too.

The Verdict

Jojo Rabbit is amazing and needs to be seen by everyone. Taika's vision for this film is executed with such precision, professionalism, and care, that you kind of forget how dark the subject matter can get. That alone should be enough to get your butt in a seat, but there's so much more to experience. This movie is chock full of amazing performances, gorgeous shots, and outstanding dialogue. It's put together  in a way that is both brisk and engaging. All of that controversy surrounding this movie was little more than SJW hyperbole. If you put all of that PC garbage aside, this movie is an incredibly rewarding watch.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Jojo Rabbit

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Where the Jew Queen Lays Her Eggs

I finally got an opportunity to actually watch Jojo Rabbit. This was one of my most anticipated films from last year however, as I live in the armpit of California known as Sacramento, it was like pulling eye teeth trying to find a theater where this thing was playing. I was curious how much of the ridiculous controversy was warranted and how ridiculous Taika's Hitler would tun out but I never got the opportunity to see it in theaters. Fortunately, that's what the auxiliary markets are for! Let's see if this movie is as divisive as everyone says.

The Best

Waititi won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay during this past Oscar circle jerk. While I don't really put too much stock in media awards, I understand that the industry does, so this was a boon for him. The thing is, that Oscar, as cavalier as it may be, doesn't mean that this movie didn't deserve the win. This screenplay is absolutely hilarious! It's incredibly well written, amazingly organic, and bursting with heart. This story is tragic and beautiful and deserves all of the accolades.

The performances in this thing are amazing but this movie wouldn't be what it is without Jojo and, oh my, does Roman Griffin Davis bring this character to life. He's absolutely amazing in this role, which is rare because most kid can't act for sh*t! Kid is out here, keeping pace with legitimate heavyweights like Scarlett Johansson and Sam Rockwell. If he decides to continue in movies, he'll develop into a very real star.

Thomasin McKenzie is absolutely amazing as Elsa. I haven't seen her in much but I have heard great things about her ability. If her performance in this is any kind of measure, madame is a real force and a talent to watch. She's only nineteen so I'm looking forward to what comes next.

Yorki is one of the best things about this movie and Archie Yates absolutely lives this role. He's another child actor that kills every scene. Dude chews as much scenery as Waititi's Hitler and it's kind of amazing. I'm actually surprised that dude was able to get such legitimate performances out of twelve-year-olds.

Stephen Merchant is legitimately terrorizing in this movie. His Gestapo Agent, Deertz, is incredibly sinister. He's the closest thing to an antagonist you get in this film and he sure as f*ck antagonizes, man. I've been a fan of Merchant for a long time but he's flexing his acting muscles hard I this flick.

I would actually be remiss if I didn't mention Waititi's Hitler this high in the review. Dude is actually hilarious in the roll. All of that controversy and nonsense was unnecessary. He approaches the role with such quirky aplomb, you can't help but love him. Hitler. You end up loving Hitler and it's ridiculous. This, by no means, glorifies anything about what the Nazis did but it kind of celebrates their manic incompetence toward the end of the war. It's actually hilarious. That said, he's not the focus of this movie. His relationship with Jojo is more of an accentuation – a personification – of the kid's zealotry. If you look at it through those eyes, it makes sense why Taika's take is so absurd.

The Better

The sound design in this flick was outstanding. This is like, the ninth film in a row where I had to mention that. Like, absolutely had to. It's an integral part of the film and it work beautiful. It's wild to me what you can do with a complimentary song or punctuating effect. I mean, it's really not, but it is mad surprising that so many films in the last year or so, have effectively used their sound design so aptly. I'm use to Bayhem levels of nonsense.

My, goodness, is this movie gorgeous. Every shot is structured, framed, composed, and executed with a loving passion. It's rare you see this kind of artistry in American cinema. It's very apparent Taika Waititi wanted  specific set of scenes to match his very specific vision and I think he delivered in spades with this movie. His direction is absolutely the reason this film, visually, shines so bright. It's very Wes Anderson-esque, but at the same time, completely unique in it's own right. That's a very fine line to balance but Waititi straight Biles'd that sh*t.

The cast is incredibly strong in this film. All the roles were perfectly embodied and each performance was lovingly brought to life. You can tell that everyone had a great time on set and it the onscreen acting that much more. I mention a few standouts in The Best but, honestly, everyone is excellent in this movie and deserves a mention.

The Good

This movie is about Jojo. It's his film. It lives and dies by that performance. As such, everyone is is basically supporting. While a lot of the actual acting in this thing breathes excellence, there is so little of it outside of Davis. The kid is amazing, don't get me wrong, but having the focus so precise kind of mitigates everyone else to glorified cameos. Brilliant cameos, but cameos nonetheless. That's kind of a double-edged sword, though, because you want more of certain characters but there isn't more to experience. That's kind of a bummer.

I like Scarlett Johansson in this. She gives a really good performance. But her accent? I dunno, man. It feels, like, caricature German. Like, this is the accent you make when making light of Germans or whatever. It could just be her voice though. Either way, her Rosie was the definition of beautiful and I loved every second she was onscreen, weird accent and all.

Rebel Wilson was also dope in this as Fraulein Rahm. This performance is literally the best I've ever seen her give. I was actually quite impressed. Usually, she's fat funny but that only gets you so far. Like, who needs a female Kevin James, right?

The pacing in this film is rather brisk. It's not very long but it moves. There doesn't feel like there's any excess fat on the plot and I like that. It keeps the movie focused, potent. It's just another feather in Waititi's cap. I hear people mention that there are no more masters in cinema but there's a crop of young visionaries coming up that can take their place, I think. Robert Eggers, Edgar Wright, Alex Garland, and Deni Villeneuve are all creators that can give those New Hollywood legends a run for their money but, with this film, Waititi secures a spot on that list, too.

The Verdict

Jojo Rabbit is amazing and needs to be seen by everyone. Taika's vision for this film is executed with such precision, professionalism, and care, that you kind of forget how dark the subject matter can get. That alone should be enough to get your butt in a seat, but there's so much more to experience. This movie is chock full of amazing performances, gorgeous shots, and outstanding dialogue. It's put together  in a way that is both brisk and engaging. All of that controversy surrounding this movie was little more than SJW hyperbole. If you put all of that PC garbage aside, this movie is an incredibly rewarding watch.

[rogue-rook]

many highlights from The Stolen Century from a first-time TAZ listener (here there be spoilers)

oh hot damn a flashbacks episode!!!!!

“everything begins, and i mean that quite literally, with the light of creation”

the IPRE has some real nostalgic space exploration nasa vibes to it

travis: “i would like to state that, canonically, magnus calls him “cap’nport” because magnus, like I, loves portmanteau”

suggested names for the ship boat thing: boaty mcboatface, spinnaker (which just means boat), stinky spinnaker, laser spinnaker, hyper spinnaker, flying boat, tail spinnaker, fighting spinnaker, lightbringer, sky spinnaker, sky boat, sky weaver, star dancer, starblaster! the winner! starblaster!

the way they arrived at “starblaster” was such peak mcelroy Creative Nonsense

the reporters at this IPRE press conference have had increasingly silly names

justin: “taako and lup go to a bar and do what they always do at a bar, which is hustle people at pool” i love them so much! i didn’t love taako all that much for the majority of this story but now i think he’s cool as shit

I’m so SO SO SO SO SO EXCITED for lup to be a part of this and be a real character and not just a fucking GHOST haunting taako’s umbrella

magnus wants to go train with the bear of power and that’s the most on-brand thing for him to possibly want to do

travis: “magnus doesn’t kill animals if he can help it” not animals, but of course he has no problem killing dwarves, elves, liches, wizards, ya know, all those PEOPLE he’s killed

justin: “taako and lup are gonzo, they're out of here" magnus: “i’m like checking on bear cubs and making sure everyone's okay" merle: “im like increasing everybody’s speed with spells’ very on brand of everybody here

travis: “okay griffin i have a very important question that i should have asked before-” griffin: “is about your fucking hard candy supply?”

the entire set up of this arc is so fun and good 

justin: “yeah i've got a fucking genius plan and I'm gonna fix everything! come close, griffin, because I'm about to blow your game wide open. I’m going to make a fake light of creation. I’m gonna spend this year like a survivor contestant on their last legs, crafting a false hidden immunity idol. I’m going to craft, to the best of my ability, a fake light of creation. a decoy, if you will!” THIS IS GENIUS

taako: “okay, that’s all well and good but lup and i are going scrapping. this is the most civilized- this is the most technologically advanced place that we’ve been to yet, and I wanna load the ship up with all the valuable mechanical components I can find, so I’m going fucking looting, I’m gonna destroy as many robots as it takes, I’m gonna take these motherfuckers apart piecemeal, so I can take whatever cool magic is powering them. I’m going to loot this motherfucker to brass tacks, I’m gonna just loot and pillage” merle: “burnt earth” taako: “yes exactly”

lup: “i believe one of these times we’re going to get this right. and we’re going to find a way to defeat the hunger and save everybody inside of it. I have to believe that to keep doing what we do, becasue I have to believe that I’m going to get those 15 dollars back from greg fucking grimmaldis” lup is as cool and funny and DOPE as I was hoping she would be

one of these eps, they just kicked it on a beach for 35 minutes and were shitheads about merle’s attempt at gifts. the literal goddamn definition of a bottle episode. im only like 75% sure davenport was even in this fucking episode

travis has named magnus’s fish, magnus’s father-in-law, a rando reporter at the IPRE press conference, and a kid at one of the stolen century planets “steven”. all of those people/fish are called steven, because apparently travis has a thing for that name

clint just called lucretia “lucinda”

well now i understand why merle’s died 50 million times

taako: “i got bad news for everybody. our arch-nemesis is MORRISSEY”

magnus gets excited to learn to carve wood bc its something he could do with knives and weapons and shit and im like oh THATS the most magnus thing he could possibly do!!!

hey cool so barry and lup’s adorable love OWNS MY ASS

that was the sweetest falling-in-love story ive ever heard and it was like 5 fucking minutes. @ fanfiction writers throw all your barry/lup friends-to-lovers fics directly at my head PLEASE

davenport: “lup can you blow it up?" lup: "can i...blow up a mountain?....well, YEAH! but lets save that for a last resort" the legato conservatory person: “i'm going to firmly request that you don’t blow up our sacred mountain”

taako: “hey I’m taako, from TV” griffin: “uh okay-” justin: “what?” griffin: “you haven’t been on tv yet” clint: “it’s aspirational” justin: “yeah, its aspirational. hey I’m taako from TV. you’re all pretty wanged. you’re pretty fucked. there’s good news and bad news, and the bad news I’ve already covered, with the fucked-ness that you are”

jesus, shit got DARK

oh my god the voidfish that magnus saved in the stolen century is the same one on the bureau of balance base. that’s some heart-tingly shit. that’s that GOOD STORY SHIT

griffin: “your adventures in the back half of these cycles are more fraught than the first half” OH IM SORRY? MORE FRAUGHT??? REALLY, GRIFFY?

griffin’s judge character dude: "magnus, you have fought with others your entire life, throughout your adolescence you celebrated strife. i didn't mean to make that rhyme"

one of the future crimes accused of the IPRE crew is “cruelty to a child who loves them” and im like oh. maybe i shouldnt have wanted somebody to call them out on being mean to sweet ango

oh man i wanna hug lucretia so bad and take care of her and make sure she’s okay

griffin: “she wouldn’t go on to found the bureau of balance for decades, but this horrible lonely year, that’s when she became Madame Director” okay, yep, i love her, and i just remembered i was worried for SO LONG that she was hoarding the relics for her own gain and jesus christ IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT THAT, EVERYBODY, I REGRET IT SO BAD

magnus reading fisher the voidfish a story more like GREAT JOY AND HAPPINESS

justin: “taako like walks by [the voidfish] and you just hear him shout ‘give him the complete works of nathaniel hawthorne next!” griffin: “YOU FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!” justin: “fuck that guy” clint: “what do you have against nathaniel hawthorne???” justin: “he is the worst writer and everybody has to read him and it makes kids HATE reading” clint: “last of the mohicans???” justin: “thats- not him, thats james fenimore cooper” griffin: “BOO-YAH!!! [singing] take him toooo schoool” justin: “yall i know the name of TWO authors from that time period, and he did the ONE pull, that’s gonna sound so fucking smart” oh man maybe I really need to reevaluate my ranking of Favorite Mcelroys, justin just reached for the Deepest Cut To Make Me Love Him

magnus: “i don’t find anything useful in this library, so let that be a lesson, kids, you’ll never find anything useful reading books” yeah take that, you punk ass book jockeys

griffin: “I base it on just how much i like the scene, right? so take plus two bond” whoa what GRIFFY DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SYSTEM FOR THIS SHIT?? HE’S JUST HANDING OUT BONDS AND ASSETS WILLY NILLY????

magnus: “oh, could i have been learning magic instead of feeding books to my buddy?” griffin: “your scene was really good though” magnus: “oh man i could have become a wizard” yeah and break the continuity of THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW

this Lup and Taako’s Greatest Day chaotic destruction is the most fun shit that’s happened in this show

taako: “I pull off her blindfold to reveal this planet’s ONLY DMV. there’s one DMV on the entire planet” this planet has no people and no animals and no living anything besides the 7 ipre crew and yet there’s a DMV leftover from whatever civilization used to be here. UH UH UH SURE JUSTIN

jesus christ i can’t believe lup’s lich form dabbed in the goddamn middle of this ritual

travis: “griffin, i know this wasn't in the instructions you sent us, but I want to make a lightsaber, can I do that?" griffin: "absolutely not!"

the KrebStar is a dope name

griffin: "so like a lotta bear stuff, then, huh?" travis: "look im leaning into it"

travis: “I’m going to name the helmet BearFace- ya know, naming stuff isn’t magnus’s strong suit- and I’m going to call the pendant 2th Necklace”

griffin: “and she’s holding an umbrella” justin: “fuck you” THIS MOMENT IS SOOO GOOD

justin: "I think i speak for the rest of us, and like the entire audience, when i say I cannot wait to see what these fucking 7 items are"

“that was the last conversation you had with your sister” hey griffin. fuck you

“not all exits are equal” HEY GRIFFIN. REALLY REALLY FUCK YOU

oh man lucretia. i can’t believe you did that to everybody. man that’s. that’s rough

this is heartbreaking holy shit. barry begging his bestfriend TO KILL HIM so he won’t forget the love of his life is SOME GUTWRENCHING SHIT HOLY SHIT

this is a really amazing story and I’m so impressed with the way it evolved from a goofy mcelroy joke podcast into such an amazing compelling story

#the stolen century #balance arc #the adventure zone #taz #taz highlights #mcelroys #mine

[nekosd43]

Lavender, orange, and canary?

SHIT YEAH I CAN TALK ABOUT MUSIC FOREVER HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR A VERY INCOMPATIBLE MIX OF SONGS AND SCATTERSHOT EXPLANATIONS.  I EVEN MADE YOUTUBE PLAYLISTS.  I PUT IT UNDER A CUT BECAUSE IT GOT LONG AND I RESPECT PEOPLE’S TIMELINES TOO MUCH TO DO THAT DO YOU GUYS.

If you just want the playlists but not the explanations:

Lavender

Orange

Canary

lavender: songs you connect to

I’d like to entitle this Playlist “Songs that have the ability to make me cry without warning if they come on”

Setting Sail, Coming Home - Darren Korb - I associate this song with the death of a friend (COMING OUT STRONG HERE) so that might be unfair but I can and have put this song on for hours and just cry/sing.  It’s so good.

This Year - The Mountain Goats - I know it’s cliche to make this your anthem but THIS IS MY MOTHERFUCKING FIGHT SONG.  I cannot BEGIN to tell you how many hard times I’ve gotten through muttering “I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me.”

Stronger Than You - Aivi & Surasshu & Estelle - THE GAY ANTHEM I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED UNTIL IT HAPPENED AND NOW I CANNOT GET THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT IT.

Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean - Explosions in the Sky - I remember the first time i heard this song, it felt like something was melting in me.  Like, something that had frozen over was warming up for the very first time in a long time.

Exile Vilify - The National - I love this song for every bit of it, but the line “No you’re thinking too fast / You’re like marbles on glass” is what really sells it because I can’t think of a better way to explain what my brain feels like when I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack.

Brand New Colony - The Postal Service - This is sappy as fuck but my long time SO who doesn’t have a head for music or lyrics managed to memorize the lyrics of this song (and I cannot stress how hard that is for him, he literally does not hear music or lyrics the same way I do) and quoted them to me on a date once.  It was adorable, I think of it every time I hear it.

We Never Change - Coldplay - I legit don’t know what it is about this song, I think it’s the repetition of “I want to live life and always be true” because yeah big mood. 

Starts With One - Shiny Toy Guns - This whole fucking album was there for me when my depression and anxiety got to it’s absolute worst.  Even though the content of the song is sad, singing it out with full force always made me feel better.

Here Comes a Thought - Aivi & Surasshu, Estelle, & AJ Michalka - Steven Universe of course was able to give me a mindfulness song that best describes the feelings of intrusive thoughts and ALSO how to deal with them and I cry EVERY GODDAMN TIME.

Never Quite Free - The Mountain Goats - This is a great song about coping with trauma and how it stays with you, even when you’re “over” it.  It’s not happy, but I take comfort in it because it reminds me that it’s okay to not be okay, and that that’s not my fault when something causes me to relapse.

Everything’s Alright - Laura Shigihara - Another song about dealing with bad things and finding comfort in other people.  I loved this song since the first time I heard it.  Played the game it came (To the Moon) from like two years later and yeah, it’s a gut punch.

Eight Melodies - Keiichi Suzuki and Hirokazu Tanaka - Earthbound means a lot to me.  The Sanctuaries and the Eight Melodies mean a lot to me too.  I always have to take a minute for a good cry when I’m playing this game and this part happens.

Undertale - Toby Fox - I remember exactly how I felt when I walked down the long hallway in Undertale and this song started playing for the first time.  It was so out of place from the rest of the soundtrack stylistically, but absolutely perfect.  I remember thinking “this game is changing me.”  I played Undertale REALLY early, before the hype spoiled it for everyone, and this was the moment I realized I was going to be a different person after playing it.

King and Lionheart - Of Monsters and Men - OKAY THIS SONG HAS ONLY BEEN IN MY LIFE FOR TWO WEEKS AND IT’S ALREADY MADE ME CRY UPWARDS OF A TRILLION TIMES SO YEAH.  Just like, fuck me up.  Seriously.  Songs about being there for people you love and holding hands in the endtimes just… UGH.

orange: songs you want other people to associate with you

I call this playlist “BIG MOOD”

Die Anywhere Else - Alec Holowka & Scott Benson (Cover by Mandopony) - I have a weakness for a good riff and a catchy chorus and also anyone who knows me knows the chorus is BIG MOOD HOLY SHIT I WANT TO DIE ANYWHERE BUT HERE.

Live and Learn - Crush 40 - Look I like garbage and I need everyone who knows me to understand that sometimes I unironically listen to butt rock from sonic games.  If you can’t accept that about me we can’t be friends.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk - I like to think I’m including this song because of it’s connotations about improving yourself and working towards being a better you but no it’s just robots I love robots.

Dog Days are Over - Florence + The Machine - I literally listen to this song every morning.  It’s my alarm clock.

No Dogs on the Moon - Griffin McElroy - MY AESTHETIC.  Seriously this song is just me.  Catchy off-sync tune with samples of dogs autotuned to nonsense and absolute cuteness.  This is me in song form.

What Would Captain Picard Do? - Hank Green - I may or may not quote this song unironically to people when I make decisions about important things.

Saturn Valley Caverns - Keiichi Suzuki and Hirokazu Tanaka - There’s a tumblr post somewhere about that one friend who makes you listen to shitty ambient cave music from Earthbound on vinyl… I am that friend.

Ready Steady Go! - L’Arc~en~Ciel - LOOK THIS SONG GOT ME THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND I COULDN’T FIND A GOOD QUALITY FULL VERSION BUT THAT’S OKAY THE FMA CUT IS PRETTY GOOD CUT.

Love Today - Mika - I think if I wanted people to know one thing it’s that I try my best to love everyone and this song works really good for capturing that mood.

Float On - Modest Mouse - I want to be this chill.  A lot of people think I am this chill.  I am not.  I wish i WAS THO.

Foreign Object - The Mountain Goats - Everyone should know my favorite Mountain Goats song is the one about the guy getting stabbed in the face with a knife because why wouldn’t it be.

Shy Guy’s Toybox - Yuka Tsujiyoko - This is what the inside of my brain feels like on a good day.

*~ASTERISK~ - Orange Range - I guess this song is from Bleach but I never watched Bleach.  I heard this song one time and I was like “THAT.  I WANT TO BE THE WAY THAT SONG MAKES ME FEEL.”  So yeah.  I want to be the way this song makes me feel.

Computer Music - she - sometimes I am basically a shitpost generating robot and people know this and love this about me therefore this song best expresses my love as a computer who loves music.

Pursuing My True Self - Shoji Meguro - Besides the fact that this is from Persona 4 and everyone needs to know I love Persona 4, I’ve taken on this song on as a personal creed because it makes me want to fucking jump kick the moon.

Movin’ Right Along - The Muppets (cover by Alkaline Trio) - Another chill song about going with the flow that I wish I was and i TRY SO HARD TO BE also I love the Muppets and this cover fucking rocks.

Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar - I am trash for this song it just fucks me right up.

canary:songs to listen to on a sunny day

Also known as “PUMPED UP KICKS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH THE SUN”. 

I’m not gonna give individual explanations for these ones, but these are songs that make me feel energized and ready to take on the world, which I need when it’s sunny because I hate the sun and want to die.  Also I associate sun with summer, and summer reminds me of being at home and listening to KROQ (local radio station) with my dad.  A lot of these are the kinds of songs that we’d listen to.

I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys

Think I’m in Love - Beck

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant

World Go Boom - DJ Earworm

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

These Days - Foo Fighters

Don’t Stop (Color on the Walls) - Foster the People

Holy Touch - Foxy Shazam

In This City - Iglu & Hartly

Are You Gonna be my Girl? - Jet

Big Casino - Jimmy Eat World

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

No Children - The Mountain Goats

I will Wait - Mumford and Sons

Savior - Rise Against

Cherry Bomb - The Runaways

Far Behind - Social Distortion

Reptilla - The Strokes

Everything is AWESOME!!! - Tegan and Sara

It’s Getting Boring By the Sea - Blood Red Shoes

THAT WAS FUN BUT I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON IT.

[neothebean]

Infodump about ur burra characters please... what's their society like

Omg yes okay. Prepare for rambling.

So there are various burra villages over the world, but Warren is definitely the biggest and the most self-sustaining. Very few of the many burra slaves owned by larger People (elves, mostly, but also ogres and goblins and the lot) come from Warren.

Warren is huge. It’s a massive city, completely contained underground except for crops, which are kept above for obvious reasons. There are also grazing fields, where animals are taken during the day by shepherds. Burra don’t eat meat (it has been recorded in rare circumstances, but it’s not like...a thing), but they do use milk and eggs. Cows are too big for burra to raise, so for milk they keep goats and sheep instead. (There’s a mountain society of burra in the south that raises alpacas, and the wool shows up for exorbitant prices in Warren on occasion.)

If only word could be picked to describe burra, it would be sensible. Though they like bright colors (after centuries of living underground, wouldn’t you?), they are subdued in every other way. They tend to be cautious to a fault and don’t travel more than a mile from home if there’s no good reason, like trading. Being a targeted group, it’s not surprising. Warren burra are a little more open, as they rarely encounter other People in the Rockhills. Being surrounded by caves full of griffins and dragons will keep most but the bravest adventurers at bay.

Still, there’s no reward for being adventurous in burra society, and curious children are strictly admonished into practicality. Creativity is seen an elf thing (and the worst thing a burra can be is like an elf), so most novels, plays, and crafts are rather the same. They tend to tell the same stories over and over, with different colorful trappings, and all have morals along the lines of “different is dangerous.” Recently, there’s been a resurgence among the younger generations of the old tales, which are stories about heroic and well-traveled burra of times past. The older generations frown quite emphatically on such stories.

Common history says that burra are the result of elves and lapins (large, intelligent rabbits that have been extinct for hundreds of years) interbreeding. Burra and elves alike are offended by such nonsense, but burra find it even more distasteful. Even so, in several languages, the word for burra means something along the lines of “rabbit-elf.” Burra itself is derived from an old word for “elf,” but you’ll never catch a burra historian translating it that way. 

One of the rudest things you can call a burra is “rabbit,” which implies they are both stupid and an acceptable food source. The softer form is “bunny,” which is more condescending than rude and is generally used in ignorance and without bad intentions. It’s still going to make a burra’s ears twitch, though. (Makes it a bit ironic that they use rabbit terms for themselves; bringing that up is an easy way to fluster a burra.)

Burra are rather old-fashioned when it comes to genders (and oh boy do they rag on the elves for being such an androgynous society), so does tend to be homemakers while bucks go out and do the heavy lifting. Of course, the poorer a burra is, the smaller the difference. Many shepherd families, for example, share the duties evenly, and the does are expected to carry just as much weight (figuratively and literally) as the bucks. In some burra societies, there’s hardly any difference at all in workloads between genders, but that’s in the more remote places.

Lower class burra does do wear trousers on occasion, but no proper lady would be allowed to wear bucks’ clothes. There are ladies trousers made specifically for hiking and other outing activities, though a doe would be seen as unsuitable if she was caught in them too often. Many young does nowadays don’t give an elf’s buttocks if they’re suitable or not, of course, and it’s a perpetual frustration for their parents. Lots of young bucks find the trend rather appealing...also a frustration for their parents.

Given the chance, a burra will always run rather than fight. They’re clever creatures and can be quite tricky when the situation calls for it. Though artistic creativity is a no-no, knowing how to get out of a sticky situation is an ingrained trait that all burra can discover if they’re put in the right circumstance. Burra were once wielders of magic, but generations of suppression have nearly wiped out the ability. Their race-wide latent skill for quick thinking in tough spots is a result of the residual magic they have left in their genes.

Physically, burra are not particularly strong, but they move fast. They’re a bit awkward when they jog, but a running burra can cover great distances quickly, as they more leap than run. A bounding burra can jump a remarkable distance, and even from a standstill, they can cover a wide space. Jumping vertically, they can easily reach something twice their height. As such, most burra sports involve running, jumping, and climbing, and their dances often require jumps and twirls through the air.

Burra love to eat, and a skinny burra is a sick burra. They find the entire concept of corset tightening and dieting and whatnot to be absolutely ridiculous. Any ribbing in their clothes is pliable and for support only, and tailors keep clothes a little loose to allow for full tummies. Straining buttons or seams after a meal can be used as reason for a refund from a tailor.

...and that’s all I can think of at the moment. Well, without being given specifics, haha. I could certainly elaborate more pff

#neo writes stuff #burra #gymleadercheren

[lindsaynsmith]

10 Horror Films In Desperate Need Of A Blu Ray

10 Horror Films In Desperate Need Of A Blu Ray https://ift.tt/2PoIlUF

A few months back I watched a film from 1953 called The Maze. It was directed by William Cameron Menzies, the same man who did Invaders from Mars (1953) and a slew of other highly regarded silent and early sound films. The Blu from Kino Lorber is pristine. I had never seen a black and white film look so good, despite having seen what I thought were perfect prints and scans.

As for the film, a quiet vaguely Lovecraftian tale of longing, loss, and familial curses, I could foresee how it had been lost throughout cinema history. A film could be amazing, yet with a shoddy old print or transfer it becomes impossible to watch. Due to carelessness, we may have lost more masterpieces than we know. And that’s where Blu Ray comes in. Eventually, we’re going to get to the point where we can’t conceivably get better quality than this, right? And if Blu Ray is it, what will happen to the films that don’t make the upgrade? Will it be the same as VHS to DVD, where a library of movies are tethered to one outmoded media and hardware? The following films are in danger of being lost, let’s try to save ‘em.

Keep reading for a look at the 10 horror movies we most want released on Blu-ray as voted on by Chris Coffel, Kieran Fisher, Brad Gullickson, Meg Shields, Rob Hunter, and myself.

10. Anguish (1987)

Films with a “meta” element can be tough to pull off, and for every slice of brilliance (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, 2005) there’s a messy misfire (Last Action Hero, 1993). One of the more unappreciated examples is Bigas Luna‘s Anguish. There’s an argument to be made that its film within a film within a film structure amounts to nonsense, but what it lacks in vigorous logic it more than makes up for in style, tension, and creativity. Its various threads are captivating and suspenseful in their own way, and in today’s world the movie theater segment carries far more terrifying power than it once did. At its most basic it’s a Psycho (1960) riff about a man and his mother, but it succeeds far better as an eye-opening look at our own obsession with watching.” A new Blu-ray would sharpen the picture even further. – Rob Hunter

9. The Dentist (1996)

Going to the dentist is terrifying in and of itself. A psychotic dentist with a tendency to slaughter his patients with the very same surgical equipment we all fear is even scarier. But that was the genius concept behind Brian Yuzna’s riotous B movie that saw Corbin Bernsen as the eponymous tooth surgeon. The movie spawned a sequel that’s equally as entertaining as the first, and they both deserve all the upgrades. That’s a hint Scream Factory. – Kieran Fisher

8. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

There was nothing quite like going to the video store. Be it Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, or your local mom and pop shop browsing the seemingly endless shelves, staring at the alluring box art, was a film school for my generation. And no box art was more attention-grabbing as Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2. Which is why it’s even more disheartening that it is still orphaned on a barebones DVD. An “in title alone” sequel to Jamie Lee Curtis’ early 80s school slasher, Mary Lou takes on a supernatural twist attempting to capitalize on that either killer of dreams Freddy Krueger. The film is an instant cult classic with its bizarre incestuous plot lines and over the top deaths, but the film deserves to be remembered (and remastered) for its striking visuals, especially one of a swirling blackboard that becomes a swirling void. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 is how you do a sequel. – Jacob Trussell

7. April Fool’s Day (1986)

The 80’s were the heyday for the slasher sub-genre. Every major franchise released multiple titles and a bunch of imitators and cheap knockoffs got in on the action. While a majority of these films followed a similar template every now and then one would come along with a fresh new take, as was the case in 1986 with the Fred Walton-directed April Fool’s Day. This is a movie that is conventional until it’s not thanks to a final act that may catch some viewer’s off guard. Whether or not the film’s conclusion is one that works is a worthy debate, however, in a sea of slashers that are largely the same this film’s ending does make it stand out. Plus it features a stellar 80’s cast that includes Deborah Foreman, Griffin O’Neal, and Thomas Wilson. This is all to say that the film’s lack of Blu-ray release is a travesty that needs rectifying. – Chris Coffel

6. The Keep (1983)

Shouldn’t every Michael Mann movie be on blu-ray? The guy is a master stylist, and even his second and possibly weakest effort oozes style and craft. Shot by Alex Thomson (the eye behind Excalibur, Legend, Labyrinth, Leviathan, Alien 3), The Keep is a rich visual feast of inky blacks and mysterious light sources. To forever live in the purgatory of bargain basement standard definition is criminal. Mann tried his best to adapt F. Paul Wilson’s World War II supernatural saga, but as the budget ballooned above him, the studio lost all confidence in recouping their money. An epic 210 minutes was savagely stripped down to a paltry 96. No wonder the final plot is barely coherent. That being said, the film that is currently available is an essential addition to every cineastes library. From The Keep comes Manhunter, Heat, and all the rest. A new Blu-ray could be akin to an exorcism for Mann. Sit him in front of a microphone, and let him unleash a torrent of frustrations over the production. That would provide solid psychotherapy for Mann and quite an education for us. – Brad Gullickson

5. The Haunting of Julia (1977)

That The Haunting of Julia has never been released on DVD is a goddamn tragedy. Almost as much of a tragedy as the cold open of the film, which sees a choking child and a tracheotomy gone wrong. Also known as Full Circle, Julia sees a frazzled Mia Farrow haunted by loss, and possibly something more sinister. A psychological horror in the vein of The Changeling and The Innocents, Julia is eerie slow burn with an effective twist (and a badass soundtrack). Extant digital copies are unlicensed and subject to the ever-horrid pan and scan technique. If The Haunting of Julia isn’t rescued via blu-ray, it is at real risk of falling into obscurity. – Meg Shields

4. Mr. Frost (1990)

Jeff Goldblum has found a late-career surge with quirky performances in blockbuster movies, and as much as we love them it’s worth remembering that he used to deliver far more varied characters in smaller films. One of the best — and least seen — is this grim psychological thriller that casts Goldblum as a confirmed serial killer who just might be something worse. The film is a twisting mind-game between Frost and those around him including a detective and a psychiatrist (Kathy Baker), and his identity and abilities are constantly in question. It’s a methodically paced thriller with supernatural undertones, and I’d love to see it reach a wider audience… perhaps with a commentary by Goldblum as Frost? – Rob Hunter

3. Ghostwatch (1992)

People love to troll found footage films, and it’s easy to see why. Ridicule is natural when something becomes as popular, and as over saturated, as the format. But what far few remember is how absolutely blood curdling that first found footage film you see can be. Is it real or is it strictly fiction? The format blurs the storytelling lines. But imagine watching something like Ghostwatch before this storytelling device was widely used. Imagine how terrifying a story can become when you earnestly think you’re watching a documentary. And that’s exactly what Ghostwatch did. Originally aired on BBC as a Halloween special with national treasure Michael Parkinson as host, Ghostwatch purports itself as being a real investigation into a haunting of a family. With CC cameras and a live crew capturing the paranormal activity, the creatives blurred the lines even deeper by insinuating that the haunting isn’t just real, but could affect you by merely watching the broadcast. It was so terrifying to UK audiences that it caused mass hysteria, ala Orson Welles War of the Worlds, and resulted in the BBC banning future airings of the special. With an uptick in popularity thanks to the streaming service Shudder, Ghostwatch deserves the Blu ray treatment and a spot in your home library. – Jacob Trussell

2. Martin (1978)

The late great George A. Romero is best remembered for giving new life to the zombie genre. But in an ironic twist, his favourite of his own films is about vampires. Or is it? That’s the ghoulish gambit of 1978’s Martin: is the awkward teen an immortal blood-sucker or just a serial killer in the vein of Richard Chase? A creepy and often tender meditation on alienation, Martin is critically beloved and criminally under-seen. The film’s downbeat tone and more somber sensibility might have something to do with this, but the rights situation (more of a fiscal standoff, really) is the main culprit. Martin is a neglected, socially-relevant masterpiece; a Blu-ray is long overdue. – Meg Shields

1. The Hitcher (1986)

When I discovered that The Hitcher had yet to receive the Blu-ray treatment, I was even more baffled than that day in 2016 where I woke up to find that an actual turd had been elected the President of the United States of America. This movie gave us one of the best horror villains of all time in the form of Rutger Hauer as a murderous hitch-hiker who makes life hell for travelers. Such a simple concept, with such perfect execution (and executions). The movie is so good that Michael Bay even saw enough dollar signs to produce a terrible remake in the 2000’s, which has its own Blu-ray release. – Kieran Fisher

Press pause on the rest of your life and spin up more entries in our 31 Days of Horror Lists!

The post 10 Horror Films In Desperate Need Of A Blu Ray appeared first on Film School Rejects.

via Film School Rejects https://ift.tt/23tjcnD October 23, 2018 at 10:06AM

#IFTTT #Feedly #Show Biz #Repost

[smokeybrandreviews]

NBA Rant: Inmates Running The Asylum

-So i wrote this yesterday but couldn’t post it. Apparently, Tumblr wouldn’t let me log in. So, i’m posting it today. I know there was a lot of sh*t that happened last night but i’ll get to it in the next rant.-

Whoo, boy, this post-Paul Clippers tenure has been a goddamn roller coaster!

We are 19 games into the season and, goddamn, what the hell is going on in Lesser-LA? You lose Paul. Get shafted in that trade for a bunch of sub-par and injury prone role players. Give Griffin a 173 mil contract on the hopes he’ll actually see the court for the duration and then he goes blows out his knee. Your Coach/GM favors the f*ck out of his mediocre son so you constantly miss out of beneficial trades because he refuses to move his kid, which breeds animosity in the locker room. You have absolutely no offensive talent on the floor outside of the injured Griffin. AND you’re next best asset, Jordan, is on the way out. Cats have actively been shopping him around, too! The Clippers are a f*cking mess. You’d  think Junior Buss was running that team. While i’m on that topic...

Should the Clips fire Doc?

It’s been, what? Half a decade and the closest they’ve gotten to a title was the second round? Seriously, the Clips have never been contenders, as much as analyst want you to believe otherwise. Now that they’ve lost Paul in a terrible trade facilitated by Doc, Lost Griffin to injury for the foreseeable future, and have had rumblings of nepotism f*cking up that locker room chemistry, methinks it’s about time for a change. There are some interesting candidates available. Speaking of…

The Grizzlies have fired their coach in an attempt to placate a disgruntled Marc Gasol because that’s how you assure a talent like that, with uncertainty.

Dude’s in a contact year and you’ve installed an interim coach, after firing the coach he actually like, the season before last. Dave Jeager is a goddamn savant at basketball and you send him away in favor of Fizdale? Really? Okay, buddy. On top of all of this, you still might trade Gasol? Why even fire Fizdale then? That doesn’t make a lick of sense!! I had the Grizz in the Playoffs with the lack of competition out West but this is shenanigans. They might as well tear it down and start from scratch. Like the Clippers.

Cats are kind of overreacting to the Cavs right now.

Whether we want to believe they’ve lost it or not, they are still the clear favorites out East. There are no teams that, in a playoff environment, can beat the Cavs in a seven game playoff series. No teams except for the Celtics. The C’s are a force right now and it’s scary. They’ve played brilliant hoop and rattled off an pretty substantial win streak. It’s early, of course, but barring another catastrophic injury (RIP Gordon Hayward) these cats have a real chance to dethrone King James as the Tyrant of the East. Boston looks like they won that trade because, as much as I love Isiah, he ain’t the cure all for what ails the Cavs, man.

Also, Derek Rose is out with yet another knee injury.

Kid’s the new Brandon Roy. Unfortunate…

The Lakers are surprisingly fun to watch.

And they’re winning. I don’t expect them to sneak into the playoffs without an actually star, their core is WAY too young to compete with anyone, but they have shown signs. Ball’s court vision would make any team envious and Randle is a legit force in the paint. Plus, we got all of the cash. All of it. Next offseason should be interesting wooing actual, legitimate, talent to Lalaland. While I’d hope to snatch PG and/or Marc Gasol and another star talent, we’ll probably end up with LeBron or some sh*t. Whoo.

Boy, the Kings gon’ Kings.

They missed out in a trade for Andre Drummond last year in favor of snatching Buddy Heild. Like, Divac had that sh*t done. All that was needed was ink to paper and the Kings would have one of the post players in the league right now. Instead, Viveck vetoed that sh*t because he saw Buddy as the next Curry. Buddy disagreed. Hours after the trade, he literally said his game is nothing like Steph’s game. And, surprise-surprise, the Kings suck this season. But guess who is second out East? Yessir, Detroit. Behind that brilliant play of Avery Bradley and solid anchor action of Drummond, the Pistons have surprised all year. The Kings, not so much. Can you imagine Drummond in Jaeger’s system, playing alongside Collie-Stein or that other trash big they have Scary! What could have been…

Giannis is a goddamn monster!

His time is mediocre but Giannis is a f*cking unicorn. The Bucks better figure out how to keep kid happy because with ability like that, he can write his own story in the NBA.

Kristaps is a Goddamn monster, too!

After severing ties with The Zen Master and Melo, Porzingas has thrived. He looks like he belongs on the court, that he IS a franchise guy.

I like how everyone is surprised that OKC experiment isn’t panning out like they thought.

I called that nonsense the second Anthony waived his No-Trade clause. Everyone wants to say Russ out here balling and that he deserves his MVP and that’s cool or whatever but did they win? Did he take a bad team and elevate them into contention? Did he will his lackluster squad into the West Finals against a stacked Warriors team? No. Russ lost to the guy who he beat out in MVP votes, James Harden. Last season’s MVP WAS Harden. But because he ain’t average a triple-double, he didn’t get the nod. His team beat Russ, and i say run becuase that’s all they were; The OKC Russel Westbrooks. Consistently. His team beat Russ in the Playoffs. Convincingly. His team made it to the Western Conference Finals. The only reason Russ put up the numbers he did was because he was the only viable option on offense. Harden took his guys and made them better while average a near trip-dub all season. Harden should have got that crown last season but politics dictated otherwise. It’s funny to me how The Beard has maintained his numbers and his team is actually doing much better than last year, but Russ is tanking, That’s what happens when you put two ball-dominate guys on the court together, especially when one is coming off winning the most prestigious award outside of an actual chip, for being a ball hog.

On the plus, Paul George is all but guaranteed to be in Laker gold next season because of this nonsense.

Come on home, PG. We love you out here i SoCal!

Ayesha Curry bad as well, manq.

That really doesn’t have anything to do with the current state of the NBA but I saw her picture pop up as I was doing research and, goddamn, Ayesha Curry bad a hell, manq!

The Sixers look legit.

My cousin got drafted to their G-League team, the 87ers (?) so I have a vested interest in their success all of a sudden. It sucks that Simmons is out with an ankle injury but Embiid looks like the truth. They ain’t ready yet, the Cavs proved that last night, But they’re close. The League post-Bron should be mighty interesting. Between the promising kids out in the city of Brotherly love, Those surprising Knickerbocker with that Unicorn of Porzingas as the franchise, All that potential down in Lalaland, and the Greek Freak’s little tribe in Brew City, we good for another decade as far as quality hoop is concerned.

[smokeybrand]

NBA Rant: Inmates Running The Asylum

-So i wrote this yesterday but couldn’t post it. Apparently, Tumblr wouldn’t let me log in. So, i’m posting it today. I know there was a lot of sh*t that happened last night but i’ll get to it in the next rant.-

Whoo, boy, this post-Paul Clippers tenure has been a goddamn roller coaster!

We are 19 games into the season and, goddamn, what the hell is going on in Lesser-LA? You lose Paul. Get shafted in that trade for a bunch of sub-par and injury prone role players. Give Griffin a 173 mil contract on the hopes he’ll actually see the court for the duration and then he goes blows out his knee. Your Coach/GM favors the f*ck out of his mediocre son so you constantly miss out of beneficial trades because he refuses to move his kid, which breeds animosity in the locker room. You have absolutely no offensive talent on the floor outside of the injured Griffin. AND you’re next best asset, Jordan, is on the way out. Cats have actively been shopping him around, too! The Clippers are a f*cking mess. You’d  think Junior Buss was running that team. While i’m on that topic...

Should the Clips fire Doc?

It’s been, what? Half a decade and the closest they’ve gotten to a title was the second round? Seriously, the Clips have never been contenders, as much as analyst want you to believe otherwise. Now that they’ve lost Paul in a terrible trade facilitated by Doc, Lost Griffin to injury for the foreseeable future, and have had rumblings of nepotism f*cking up that locker room chemistry, methinks it’s about time for a change. There are some interesting candidates available. Speaking of…

The Grizzlies have fired their coach in an attempt to placate a disgruntled Marc Gasol because that’s how you assure a talent like that, with uncertainty.

Dude’s in a contact year and you’ve installed an interim coach, after firing the coach he actually like, the season before last. Dave Jeager is a goddamn savant at basketball and you send him away in favor of Fizdale? Really? Okay, buddy. On top of all of this, you still might trade Gasol? Why even fire Fizdale then? That doesn’t make a lick of sense!! I had the Grizz in the Playoffs with the lack of competition out West but this is shenanigans. They might as well tear it down and start from scratch. Like the Clippers.

Cats are kind of overreacting to the Cavs right now.

Whether we want to believe they’ve lost it or not, they are still the clear favorites out East. There are no teams that, in a playoff environment, can beat the Cavs in a seven game playoff series. No teams except for the Celtics. The C’s are a force right now and it’s scary. They’ve played brilliant hoop and rattled off an pretty substantial win streak. It’s early, of course, but barring another catastrophic injury (RIP Gordon Hayward) these cats have a real chance to dethrone King James as the Tyrant of the East. Boston looks like they won that trade because, as much as I love Isiah, he ain’t the cure all for what ails the Cavs, man.

Also, Derek Rose is out with yet another knee injury.

Kid’s the new Brandon Roy. Unfortunate…

The Lakers are surprisingly fun to watch.

And they’re winning. I don’t expect them to sneak into the playoffs without an actually star, their core is WAY too young to compete with anyone, but they have shown signs. Ball’s court vision would make any team envious and Randle is a legit force in the paint. Plus, we got all of the cash. All of it. Next offseason should be interesting wooing actual, legitimate, talent to Lalaland. While I’d hope to snatch PG and/or Marc Gasol and another star talent, we’ll probably end up with LeBron or some sh*t. Whoo.

 Boy, the Kings gon’ Kings.

They missed out in a trade for Andre Drummond last year in favor of snatching Buddy Heild. Like, Divac had that sh*t done. All that was needed was ink to paper and the Kings would have one of the post players in the league right now. Instead, Viveck vetoed that sh*t because he saw Buddy as the next Curry. Buddy disagreed. Hours after the trade, he literally said his game is nothing like Steph’s game. And, surprise-surprise, the Kings suck this season. But guess who is second out East? Yessir, Detroit. Behind that brilliant play of Avery Bradley and solid anchor action of Drummond, the Pistons have surprised all year. The Kings, not so much. Can you imagine Drummond in Jaeger’s system, playing alongside Collie-Stein or that other trash big they have Scary! What could have been…

 Giannis is a goddamn monster!

His time is mediocre but Giannis is a f*cking unicorn. The Bucks better figure out how to keep kid happy because with ability like that, he can write his own story in the NBA.

 Kristaps is a Goddamn monster, too!

After severing ties with The Zen Master and Melo, Porzingas has thrived. He looks like he belongs on the court, that he IS a franchise guy.

 I like how everyone is surprised that OKC experiment isn’t panning out like they thought.

I called that nonsense the second Anthony waived his No-Trade clause. Everyone wants to say Russ out here balling and that he deserves his MVP and that’s cool or whatever but did they win? Did he take a bad team and elevate them into contention? Did he will his lackluster squad into the West Finals against a stacked Warriors team? No. Russ lost to the guy who he beat out in MVP votes, James Harden. Last season’s MVP WAS Harden. But because he ain’t average a triple-double, he didn’t get the nod. His team beat Russ, and i say run becuase that’s all they were; The OKC Russel Westbrooks. Consistently. His team beat Russ in the Playoffs. Convincingly. His team made it to the Western Conference Finals. The only reason Russ put up the numbers he did was because he was the only viable option on offense. Harden took his guys and made them better while average a near trip-dub all season. Harden should have got that crown last season but politics dictated otherwise. It’s funny to me how The Beard has maintained his numbers and his team is actually doing much better than last year, but Russ is tanking, That’s what happens when you put two ball-dominate guys on the court together, especially when one is coming off winning the most prestigious award outside of an actual chip, for being a ball hog.

 On the plus, Paul George is all but guaranteed to be in Laker gold next season because of this nonsense.

Come on home, PG. We love you out here i SoCal!

 Ayesha Curry bad as well, manq.

That really doesn’t have anything to do with the current state of the NBA but I saw her picture pop up as I was doing research and, goddamn, Ayesha Curry bad a hell, manq!

 The Sixers look legit.

My cousin got drafted to their G-League team, the 87ers (?) so I have a vested interest in their success all of a sudden. It sucks that Simmons is out with an ankle injury but Embiid looks like the truth. They ain’t ready yet, the Cavs proved that last night, But they’re close. The League post-Bron should be mighty interesting. Between the promising kids out in the city of Brotherly love, Those surprising Knickerbocker with that Unicorn of Porzingas as the franchise, All that potential down in Lalaland, and the Greek Freak’s little tribe in Brew City, we good for another decade as far as quality hoop is concerned.