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heartofether · 3 years

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Episode 10 - Child TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S BEDROOM.]

IRENE

You’re not gonna believe this: I saw the meat lady at the grocery store again last night, and she was buying more raw meat. She was buying some other stuff this time too, like, normal groceries, but still a lot of meat. I didn’t want to bother her or make her feel bad or anything, but, I had to know. Why did she need that much meat?

She was in front of me in line, but luckily, I didn’t have much to buy. Just some chickpeas and coconut milk. I checked out as quickly as possible—the poor cashier looked like he got whiplash from how fast I swiped my card—and I ran out to the parking lot to meet her.

She had just finished loading her groceries into her car, but thankfully, she hadn’t left yet. She looked surprised when I ran up to her, but not afraid. She had this warm smile on her face, which eased my nerves, surprisingly. She asked if I needed anything.

[EMBARASSED] I probably should have introduced myself or said hello—that would have been the polite thing to do. All I said, though, was, “Why do you need that much meat?”

She didn’t get angry or upset. Somehow, she didn’t seem fazed at all. Maybe she had gotten the question before? That wouldn’t surprise me. She still had a small smile on her face when she answered, “It’s for my child.”

I was kind of surprised for some reason? I asked if she had multiple kids, and she said no, just the one.

“They’re on summer break,” she said, “and they start their junior year of high school next year. Isn’t that exciting? I remember being that age. Anyways, being a teenager and all, they’re growing a lot, so I have to make sure they’re well fed. Wouldn’t you want the best for your child?”

[STIFLED] I got kind of weirded out by that. I asked if they were getting fruits and vegetables, because those were all important, too. She said, “Well, protein is especially important for a growing teenager. Besides, they have special dietary needs.”

And there was that phrase again! “Special dietary needs!” I asked what exactly that meant, a, an iron deficiency, some sort of issue with their muscles. She looked at me with this—God, this almost tender look, as if she was my mother and I had just disappointed her.

She said, “I don’t want to speak for them. They get very embarrassed talking about it. I promise the meat won’t go to waste, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

[UNCOMFORTABLY] I apologized after that. She smiled wider, and said it was okay. Before I left, she gave me a mint from her bag. Even though I did nothing to deserve it but invade her and her kid’s privacy.

So, I guess that’s the end of the mystery of the meat lady? I still don’t know why she feeds her kid that much meat, but no way am I asking her again. Actually, after that experience, I kind of hope that’s the last time I see her.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I should probably get ready. I just…I have a lot on my mind. Yeah.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CAR AS SHE’S DRIVING.]

[SHE IS HEARD DRIVING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

The landlord is sending a mold inspector to my house today. He said he’ll call me and let me know as soon as possible what he thinks the best course of action is. I might have to spend a night in a motel room or something, but honestly, it will be well worth it to finally be rid of that yellow mold.

Also, I stopped by the library last night to look for any evidence about the Lorelei thing, or, that entire coven that went missing. Sure enough, there were articles about it in the local paper while it was happening, but I’m surprised it didn’t make national news. It definitely happened—I could even find the missing persons reports online—but hardly anyone outside of town covered it, let alone anywhere outside of Washington.

Some online conspiracy forums have talked about it, but no one ever came to a solid conclusion as to what happened.

[A FORCED CHUCKLE.] Didn’t realize how close to home the whole situation hit until I started researching it.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

[SINCERE] I hope you didn’t get kidnapped, Rose—or, killed by some weird cult, or whatever. Though, for a while, can I be honest? That possibility actually kind of made me feel better.

[SADDER, MORE DISTANT] I mean, the alternative is that you chose to leave. For a while, I thought that if I could just pretend it wasn’t your fault, then that meant you kept your promise. [QUIETER] To not leave without telling me.

[A BEAT, THEN, A SHAKY BREATH.] I’ve thought about it since then, though, and I think you probably did choose to. That was what you wanted, right? You wanted the spontaneity, the excitement, the leap of faith, whatever. I wouldn’t be surprised if one night, you just decided you were tired of waiting, and left.

Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though. Knowing that we had plans to leave together, and you just decided it would be better to go without me. No warning, no big talk, not even a letter.

I’m not angry anymore, don’t worry. I’m so indecisive all the time, I probably would have dragged you down.

[STRAINED] Still.

[a long pause.]

IRENE

Why do I still tell stories to you like this is a conversation? [SHE SCOFFS.] You don’t care, you—

[SHE TAKES A SHAKY BREATH BEFORE ENDING THE RECORDING.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S OFFICE.]

IRENE

I’m about to go on my lunch break. [SUSPICOUS] Haven’t heard from the mold inspector, which is odd.

Look, I just wanted to talk because…I’ve been thinking a lot. Especially after looking through the newspaper reports for the coven incident. I think—I think whatever’s happening, it’s the whole town. That’s gotta be it, right?

Okay, I know it’s absolutely wild. I’m not saying that this is like, one of those mysterious little towns with some big supernatural secret that the whole town is hiding.

[A BEAT.] But that’s basically what I’m saying. Why else wouldn’t this place show up on a map? And, also, why else would an entire group of people go missing without hardly any news coverage?

[RAMBLING] It’s like there’s some big thing—and I’m not sure if everyone in town knows about it, or just a select few—but it’s like some big secret that everyone just knows not to talk about. Only, maybe, people don’t actually know the secret? Because Phoebe, who should know everything because of her grandmother, still knows close to nil.

Maybe—okay, maybe it’s not a secret that the townsfolk are keeping, but like, the actual town is keeping this secret from not only its own citizens, but the world. It’s like, some big thing is happening and nobody actually knows what it is. They just know it’s there.

[A PAUSE.]

IRENE

I have no idea what the fuck that means or why I said that.

[THERE’S A KNOCK AT HER DOOR.]

CAROL

[MUFFLED] Irene?

IRENE

[SURPRISED] Mm—Yeah?

CAROL

Can I come in?

IRENE

Um, sure.

[THE DOOR OPENS. CAROL STEPS INSIDE THE OFFICE.]

IRENE

What’s up?

CAROL

[NOW CLEAR] I, uh… How are you doin’?

IRENE

[CAUTIOUSLY] I’m...fine? How about you?

CAROL

Ah, I’m alright—say, uh, not to infringe on your privacy or anything like that, but I wanted to ask you about somethin’.

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Go ahead.

CAROL

[WARILY] So, I was talkin’ to Aden the other day in the breakroom, and he mentioned to me that you’ve been having this...issue. Somethin’ about a huh...jeez, how did he put it, eldritch dirt abomination?

IRENE

[DREADFUL] Oh, god, did he tell you about the dirt thing—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I’m worried ‘bout you, Irene. Alright? There, I said it.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] What, is this an, an intervention? I’m fine.

CAROL

[CONCERNED] You’ve been acting strange since...well, ever since the day we met, I reckon. Er, no offense.

[A BEAT.] Still, first it was these recordings you do, talkin’ to someone who you say is never gonna listen. Now you’re trying to hunt down some sort of mystical forest monster that nobody else has ever seen.

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] That’s not true. Alright, Dorothy Wood had a notebook—

CAROL

You mean the woman who used to run the bookstore? Bless her heart, but, nobody ever knew what she was doing in her private time. Not even her poor granddaughter.

IRENE

That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

CAROL

I just—I don’t want you to get involved with somethin’ you can’t turn back from. Alright? I, I don’t ever want to see you or Aden put yourselves in danger, and all this stuff you’ve been doin’ is just…

IRENE

[A BEAT.] Just what?

CAROL

Just, well, you know.

IRENE

[GROWING GRADUALLY MORE UPSET] No, I don’t. Say it. Do you think I’m being delusional? I know what I saw was real—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] I never said that, Irene. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.

IRENE

I am. Okay? Everything’s just peachy. I’m doing my job just fine, aren’t I? That should be your primary concern, not whatever I do when I get home each night.

CAROL

[SHE SIGHS.] No, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry for bein’ so invasive.

IRENE

[A BEAT.] It’s alright.

CAROL

Just let me know if you ever need anything, alright? I care about you, not just as an employee.

IRENE

[STRAINED] Appreciate it.

[A PAUSE.]

CAROL

Say, you headin’ to lunch soon?

IRENE

Uh, yup, I was thinking about going out to grab something. Do you—?

[THERE’S FOOTSTEPS IN THE BACKGROUND AS ADEN WALKS BY.]

ADEN

[CUTTING HER OFF] Irene, have you downloaded it yet?

IRENE

[SHE GIVES AN OVEREXAGGERATED SIGH.] Not yet.

[MORE FOOTSTEPS AS HE WALKS IN.]

ADEN

Do you still not have enough storage?

IRENE

I have the space, I just have better things to do.

And I’m not a total caveman, you know. [UNDER HER BREATH] had Tumblr back in high school for a bit.

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS, OVERLAPPING.] Tumblr? Are you joking? You were a Tumblr kid?

IRENE

For like, three months! I was fifteen, dude, give me a break.

CAROL

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Anyways, I was just wondering if y’all wanted me to grab somethin’ for you while I’m out? I’ll take a list, if you want to start writing down your orders. I’ll probably go to the café nearby, if that’s alright with y’all.

ADEN

Oh, sure! That’d be great! Thank you! Irene, do you have some paper?

IRENE

Yup. Thanks, Carol!

CAROL

Not a problem.

[A PEN IS HEARD CLICKING, AND WRITING ON A PAD OF PAPER IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

ADEN

Actually, Irene, I was hoping to get to talk to you. Do you have any plans tonight? Because you still haven’t come over to my house yet, and I think it’s a crime I haven’t gotten to show you my collection of knitted cats yet.

IRENE

[TEASING] And I think it’s weird that you’re so passionate about showing off your collection of knitted cats.

ADEN

[DEFENSIVE] I worked really hard on them, okay?

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] Mm, in all seriousness, maybe? I actually have a mold inspector over at my house today, and I might have to call him soon, because he still hasn’t...

[HER TONE BECOMES MORE SERIOUS.] …gotten back to me.

[A BRIEF, EERIE INSTRUMENTAL NOISE ECHOES IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

Why are you guys looking at me like that?

CAROL

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.] You said you had a mold inspector?

[CAROL’S VOICE SOUNDS CALM, BUT THERE IS A GROWING PANIC UNDERNEATH.]

IRENE

[SLOWLY] Yes. This mold started growing in my house when I first moved in, and it kept getting worse, so I hired someone to take care of it.

CAROL

[HER BREATH HITCHES.] And what exactly does this mold look like?

IRENE

Um…it’s yellow?

[CAROL TAKES IN A SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH.]

IRENE

[CONT.] Like, puss yellow? Kind of smells like rotten meat?

CAROL

Alright. Irene, what’s most important right now is that you stay calm.

ADEN

[MUTTERING TO HIMSELF] This can’t be happening, this can not actually be happening.

IRENE

Okay, what’s going on? What are you guys not telling me?

CAROL

Look, I need to go grab something, but after that, I think we need to go to your house right now.

IRENE

Wait, what—?

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] This next part is very important: have you touched it at all? The slightest touch—

[CREEPY, TENSE MUSIC BEGINS BUILDING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

CAROL

[CONT.] —even just your pinky toe?

IRENE

[GROWING FRUSTRATED] No, of course not! What the hell is happening? Aden?

ADEN

[PANICKING] Irene, I’m so sorry. I’ve never actually experienced this before, I—I don’t—oh, Jesus, oh, no.

CAROL

Aden, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.

ADEN

But she’s—

CAROL

[OVERLAPPING] It’s fine. You just stay on hold for us, okay? I’ll call you if anything happens.

IRENE

[SNAPPING] Okay, you know what? I’m getting really, really fed up with things happening and me never knowing what’s going on. That’s all I’ve gotten ever since I moved to this town. So, either one of you tells me what’s going on, or I’ll go home and find out myself.

CAROL

[PANICKED] You’re in some grave danger, Irene. That’s the best way I can describe it right now, ‘cause we don’t got time. Just, trust me. Please.

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

IRENE

Fine.

[THE MUSIC ENDS WITH THE CHIME OF A BELL.]

[THERE IS A PAUSE BEFORE AN AUDITORY GLITCHING NOISE PLAYS, WHICH IS FOLLOWED BY A FEW SECONDS OF CHOPPY STATIC. THERE IS A CLICK.]

UNKNOWN VOICE

—hoped the Foundation would have been a little more generous with their funds, but, also I’m not surprised they—

[THE SPEAKER IS CUT OFF BY ANOTHER AUDITORY GLITCH.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: “My soul is a black maelstrom, a great madness spinning about a vacuum, the swirling of a vast ocean around a hole in the void, and in the waters, more like whirlwinds than waters, float images of all I ever saw or heard in the world: houses, faces, books, boxes, snatches of music and fragments of voices, all caught up in a sinister, bottomless whirlpool.”

Fernando Pessoa, as published in The Book of Disquiet, 1982.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

#heart of ether transcripts

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smartguyreviewed · 4 years

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1x5 - Don’t Do That Thing You Do

Original air date: April 16, 1997

Alright, Disney. We need to have a little talk.

I take a lot of shit from you in the name of nostalgia. You repay me by selling all of your DCOMs on iTunes but since they are DRM protected, you then make me have to buy third party software to remove said DRM just so I can watch these movies for my own personal viewing. If you’re worried about me selling and distributing copies of your movies to people who also wanna relive them good ‘ole days, stop. People will find a way to pirate your shit regardless and actually have more than what you release. Really, just stop.

You then removed all of the Smart Guy episodes from YouTube so that the only dregs of the show left are sped up, slowed down, or only take up a third of the video player due to copyright shit. You gave me considerable hope when I saw you’d be putting all the original shows and movies (minus In a Heartbeat. Minus The Jersey. Minus The Famous Jett Jackson. Minus Model Behavior. Minus My Date With the President’s Daughter.) on this shiny new channel of yours.

I know you have a problem with misordering episodes, making certain episodes season finales when they shouldn’t be and just not having any general sense of continuity. I am still baffled as to why this episode, episode number 5 is not included in the first season, which is already hella short at just 8 episodes. Disney, do you enjoy making me wonder why I even fuck with you? Once I get a .mp4 file of Johnny Tsunami and maaaaybe Can of Worms, I’m through with you forever.

This one is gonna be long because TJ really pissed me off in this episode. But if you actually read the above, I love you because I’m literally just whining.

In this episode, I will actually feel bad for Marcus. Yes, Marcus, teenage horndog, sexist Marcus will tug on my heartstrings and make me relate to him. I know I give him a lot of shit, but at the end of the day, he’s still a teenage boy. A dark-skinned teenage boy in a family full of gifted and/or capable light skinned people, at that. In this family, guess who is the odd one out, the black sheep? Marcus. Coincidence? I just couldn’t help but notice some things Yvette does (like pursue dance at one point) are encouraged while Marcus’s hobby (music, another art) is constantly shit on by Floyd who wants Marcus to be more book smart. Or how Yvette didn’t get into any trouble for not trying to stop TJ’s party just because Marcus, who is younger than her, was in charge? Just two examples, but you get the point.

We begin the episode with TJ bothering the big kids while they’re trying to rehearse for the upcoming Battle of the Bands gig. The gang needs cash to continue banding, especially since Mo’s strings are caca. Marcus is certain they will win and as soon as he manifests positivity about his future, something bad happens. Their guitarist breaks his finger.

Marcus is whining to pops about this little roadbloack when we see Yvette has invited Gabrielle Union back to her place to study in the kitchen. None of that learning crap will be happening right now though, because Floyd has made Gabs wet. She tells Yvette who delivers the most visceral reaction. But Yvette...your dad is hot. And it’s perfectly normal for friends to have crushes on your parents. And you also date older men! Yvette has her moments where I hate her and this is one of them. Instead of just dropping it and continuing to study, she actually throws her friend out! You would have thought Yvette was Floyd’s damn girlfriend, the way she was acting.

Because every show needs a montage here and there, we are now jettisoned to the garage, where Marcus is auditioning for a new piano player. Spoiler alert: they all reek, except for one guy who clearly must have been on some type of psychedelic drug to audition for a high school R&B band during a federal pursuit. The others were straight duds, including the most aggressive polka musician ever who thought his accordion counted as a keyboard.

Marcus is fucked. His goose is cooked. His dream is deferred. How the hell is he going to pull a new piano player out of his ass in time for BotB? He suddenly hears someone tickling the ivories and is beyond impressed...and then disappointed once he sees its TJ. Turns out the little guy knows all their songs and then proceeds to explain music in math terms and I pretty much feel the way Marcus does here.

I mean, really, it’s annoying to know that your freakishly intelligent brother is pretty much good at everything, including the thing that you love more than anything. You share a room with this person, you see this person every day at school and you now have to let him in your band because of circumstances. I do like that Marcus includes the rest of the group in his decision making, even though they really don’t seem to care about its direction as long as they can have sex with all the groupies.

So now its Mackadocious +TJ and Marcus is doling out the “kicks” to everyone except TJ. But TJ, homie, you just entered the band and your role is to just play the piano, since nobody else is around. This is not the time for you to be trying to get your Regina Spektor on. Play your part! TJ gets upset at this, but once Marcus threatens violence, he immediately goes back to his role.

B plot land is just Yvette pissed off that her friend finds her father attractive. They go to the BotB thing and she even cuts in front of them. Jeez Yvette, chill.

When her bestie leaves a voicemail directed more towards Floyd, although flattered, he has to let her down gently. Yadda yadda, Floyd is about to have that uncomfortable conversation but it’s fine because Gabby met some dude in a black trench coat and needs Yvette to style her hair like Halle Berry’s in the last month’s Essence. Yvette is happy that things are back to normal, at the expense of her lonely father who most likely reveled in that small amount of validation as quickly as it was snatched away from him. Poor Flody.

Anyways, back to the main arc of the episode. It’s time for the BotB and TJ is still vying for that piano solo but Marcus isn’t budging. This will end well. Once they get far enough into the song, Marcus is about to do his solo. He’s probably thinking that finally, the spotlight will be on him for a change and he can feel like he’s doing something worthy of praise. But this is TJ we’re talking about, and he is a petty little asshole, so he immediately hijacks the show and begins with his piano solo. Marcus looks straight dumb trying to hop back into his own set. So now instead of being a dick and doing the solo he wasn’t supposed to do, he has now embarassed Marcus. His feelings about the situation can best be summed up here.

The next day at school, we see that TJ is still hogging all of the band’s attention. Marcus’s insane level of togetherness right now is commendable, seeing as TJ clearly has no remorse for what he’s done and is now rubbing it in their faces. Just Marcus, though. TJ is a little babe magnet and is now basically getting girls for Mo and Goose to have sex with. Everyone is getting what they want right now. Except Marcus.

During a rehearsal, TJ moves on to insulting Marcus’s compositions and telling the band that they need something “else.” Marcus has had it and decides it’s time for TJ to go. TJ tries to save his ass by apologizing for something he’s clearly not sorry for after the fact, but the damage is done. Now we all know that TJ is totally one to accept defeat and move on so I’m sure nothing else will come of a rather amicable split.

Later, Kid from Kid n’ Play shows up and offers Mackadocious some moolah if they play again, but with TJ, seeing as Mackadocious has been unwillingly changed to The Band With the Cute Little Kid. Marcus, putting his dream over his desire to teach his little narcissist brother a lesson (just kidding, he wants the money) asks TJ back, but he’s strangely okay with staying out of it. Marcus then grabs TJ and threatens him, calling him a little twerp. This is still funny to me.

Floyd comes in and breaks up the fight and forces the siblings to hash out their differences in a healthy way. TJ says he wishes he could sing like Marcus. Marcus hates that TJ is good at everything. They both apologize to each other and Marcus even asks if TJ wants to rejoin the band and TJ is about to ruin this totally fine moment between them by revealing his evil plan.

After being kicked out of the band, TJ wanted to get even. Instead of just taking the L and moving on, he reached out to Kid and offered some tax code write offs in exchange for promising Mackadocious a lot of money to perform a bogus gig where nobody would show up. Yes, you read that right. TJ wanted to destroy Marcus’s life and possibly crush his spirit to the point where he’d never want to pursue music at all. All because he did something shitty and got punished accordingly. TJ is a petty little asshole. Floyd hears this and allows the beating to continue. Did I mention how much I love Floyd?

Stuff I noticed:

- TJ’s shirt. Where can I find this shirt? Seriously, it’s amazing.

- Oh hi, Christina Milian.

- When TJ is mentioning the name of the band’s fan site, he just says it’s ww.cutekid.com which makes no sense because that’s too general to refer to a band and also sounds like pedo bait.

#smart guy #tj henderson #marcus henderson #90s #nineties #tahj mowry #christina milian #christopher reid #kid n play #yvette henderson #essence atkins #jason weaver #john marshall jones #mo tibbs #omar gooding

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itbe-jess · 4 years

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Bjorn Miller (test drafts)

For my Family Matters reboot.

It was 4:30 in the morning. A young lad awoken by his phone, with the Jackson Five's "The Love You Save" playing over the alarm. He grabbed the phone, and switched the alarm off. However, he didn't feel the strength to get up. He couldn't pushed the snooze, since he knew the alarm would go off eventually.

He had trouble sleeping last night, for he watched a stupid click-bait video titled "Top Ten Proof Of Ghost Existence That Will Leave You In Heebies-Jeebies All Month Long." He tapped the video, out of his own curiosity and boredom. After finishing the video, he was so scared, he sat up in bed, frozen in a single position for two hours, heart racing. The silence of the room made him imagine like he was hearing things. And a slight noise from outside his window made him jump. Then he accidentally broke his bed. ...again. After watching some comforting cute cat videos, he fell asleep at 3:00 am.

Now that he's awake, he's thinking of resting for a few minutes. Suddenly, his eyes shot open wide. Whenever he rests his eyes, he loses count of the minutes, and therefore falling into a deep snooze. Which means he will oversleep, and be late for school. And when he's late for school far too many times, it will affect his attendance, and probably his grade. No way he's gonna be held back twice!

"$@#&! Mama gonna be very upset if I don't graduate and earn a diploma! (Get your stubborn fatass up, boy!!)"

He threw himself off the bed, and made the room shake a little. Before getting ready, he put the coffee pot on. Then he brushed his teeth, washed his face, showered-- There's no time to shower! I'll do that tomorrow! He got dressed, packed his stuff, went over his belongings twice to make sure he didn't forget something, then drank his coffee straight out of the pot, with cream of course. For breakfast, he put a single piece of toast in his mouth. All ready, he went out the door. Unfortunately, while in a hurry, he broke the door away from its joints. He hurried back in a panic, then scrambled throughout the living room and kitchen for sticky notes. He wrote out a message, and stuck it onto the dislocated door before hurrying to school.

Ma, Will fix it again after school. Don't you dare go through the trouble of fixing it yourself! Your Baby, Bjorn.

Meet Bjorn Miller. Age 17. He's a 6'1 musclebound giant, widely thick in the middle, with a gut sticking out. His hair is a cross between a 90s' fade and an 80s' Jheri Curl. He's very strong, but quite clumsy because of it. He's gay, Jewish, and holds a case of anxiety that cannot be helped. He also battles with his own thoughts.

.................................

During lunch time, Laura was eating her lunch in one hand, and holding a history book in the other. She was multitasking, I guess. Bjorn slowly approached her. He stood next to the bench she was sitting next to. He wanted to get her attention, and hoped that she would start talking to him. He was too timid to start the convo himself. He tried coughing, but she didn't respond. He tried coughing louder, but Laura seemed to be more concerned about her studying.

Bjorn decided to get closer. He sat himself upon the bench, which broke down from his weight. He finally got her attention. Despite what just happened, all Laura asked was

"Hey, aren't you the top dog of scholastic wrestling?" "Yup. That's me." "Alright. I'm Laura Winslow! Nice to meet you!" "Bjorn Miller. That's me. Of course, you probably already knew my name, given the fact that, I am the strongest wrestler. ...of scholastic wrestling. The class where we wrestle for sport. (Reeeeeeeeeeal slick, 'top dog!')" "Actually, I didn't know your name." "Heh. That's an embarassment. ('That's an embarassment?!' That reply is an embarassment!)"

Then a long silence took place. Bjorn was expecting a conversation. If Laura doesn't say something, he might as well do it himself. But, with the wrong words, it might lead to the wrong results. He's worried about how she'll react. Lunch ends in 15 minutes, and judging how Laura had her nose buried in that book, she doesn't look like she'll be asking any questions soon.

"(BOY, you better say somethin', right now!) Soooo, that nerd, what's his name, has been following you around lately! Should I do something about it?" "Him? Oh, don't worry about him. ...unless he's coming at you with an accordion, or a jar full of roaches. That's just Steve. Steve Urkel. Everyone in school knows his name." "So he's popular?" "I would say infamous." "Wow. Hey, what's your relationship with said nerd? I mean, Steve Urkel. The way he follows you around, are you sure he ain't a boyfriend of some kind?" "No, I have better taste than that! He follows me around cuz he merely looks up to me as the twin sister he always wanted. His *Urkel voice impression* sibling from another crib-ling." "Oh man, that's a relief. ...TH-THANK God he's not some dirty little creep!" "Tell me about it. If he was in love with me, I'd have to beg my parents for a state transfer. Being friends with him is hard enough, but could you imagine, with someone of the likes of Steve Urkel, falling in love with you?" "That doesn't seem so baaaaaaaa- I mean, yeah! Just makes you wanna VOMIT!"

Laura hesitated for a moment. It made Bjorn a little uneasy.

"Why do I have the feeling you have a crush on Steve?" "WHAT?" "You pretty much gave it away at 'That doesn't seem so bad.' Plus, it looks to me you're obsessed." "That was a vocal typo! Those exist and that's what I call them! 'Obsessed?!' You straight girls think you know everything about gay dudes based on how we dress, talk, or look at other men! We are not your GBFs, we are not your shipping material, we are real people, dammit! Our reality is not your little pleasurable fantasy and okay you're absolutely right you got me. (BITCH!)" "Heh heh, c'mon, you shouldn't feel ashamed. We Winslows are accepting individuals. ...except for Eddie, just a little. ...and Grandma. "It's not the being gay part that concerned me, well okay by 1/2, it's who I'm hitting for. Have you seen him?" "Child, once you've seen an Urkel, you've seen them all. And I don't care who you have the hots for. Just as long as it's not Eddie." "Why?" "He's so homophobic, he won't even hug his male buddy in private. Despite that, he still pro-claims himself as an ally." "Does he ever refer to-" "Yup. 'The gays.'" "Yeeeeeeeesh. Well, thanks for this conversation! Remember not to tell anyone! You wouldn't break a tall muscle dude's promise now, would you?"

Bjorn was about to leave, but then Laura grabbed hold of his arm. Rather than stopping him, she got dragged along the ground. Taking notice, he stopped and helped her back up.

"Aren't we still discussing your personal issue?" "We are? Oh, we are! Sorry! I thought you had forgotten the subject after you brought up your brother! (Actually that was just an excuse to get away. I knew I would regret talking to you! Boy, am I lucky you can't read my thoughts. By the way, I hate that shirt.)" "If you love Steve, you love him! It doesn't even matter. Sure, he's annoying, weird, clumsy, socially inept, boney thin, laughs like this, 'Heeh heeh heeh heeh!! *Snort*', has bad taste in music, wears his pants too high-" "You sayin' you respect how I feel about Steve, yet it sounds to me you're trying to turn me off." "Sorry. What I meant to imply, my opinion, everyone else's opinion, should not affect yours. If that's how you feel about Steve, then don't deny it! (Plus, if you could get a date with him, we'd be so relived to have him off our backs.)" "That doesn't help me, but I appreciate the support." "Well, I'm technically not a shrink, so-"

Laura was then interrupted by a nasally, obnoxious, and familiar voice.

"LAURRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!"

It was Steve, bouncing his way over to his "sibling from another crib-ling," wrapped in measuring tape. Bjorn then panicked. The nerd was coming closer any second, and there's no where to hide. He just stood behind Laura, holding her lunch bag in front of his face. When Steve made it, he fell face flat on the floor. Laura helped untie him.

"Another invention gone wrong, eh Steve?" "Either my self-measuring measuring tape still has a few kinks to calibrate, or it just doesn't like me." "The second hunch is believable." "HEYYYYYYY!"

Even Bjorn himself was offended by Laura's statement. Suddenly, the bell rang. Laura grabbed her book and moved on to fourth period. Steve, being a helpful friend, grabbed his buddy's lunch, without noticing Bjorn standing there. The large man was left frozen in place. Him and Steve practically made eye contact, and he just ignored him like a stranger off the streets. Or maybe an inanimate objects. Steve loves to annoy strangers. Him and Laura didn't even finish their chat. Well, not like he wanted that chat in the first place. Bjorn began to hear static. He looked down at the measuring tape Steve left behind. The thing reactivated, then limped away on its own.

...............................

Bjorn was walking through the school hallways, carrying around a hall pass. Waldo came around, dragging an empty sack with him, which belonged to P.E. class. As Waldo spotted Bjorn, he greeted him with a "'Sup."

"Why are you dragging that empty sack?" "Well, have you ever tried to push one?" "I-" "Excuse me, I'm on my way to the cafeteria before the trash bins empty out."

Waldo then walked on with his sack, leaving Bjorn more puzzled. He would've asked more questions, but he knows how sensitive Waldo can be towards "personal topics," even if it is stupid. Suddenly, he heard banging from the inside of a locker. He then followed the sound.

"You alright in there? Look, if you just give me your combination, I could help free you! And, I know we've never had acquaintance with each other before ('ACQUAINTANCE!' everytime I try to say something fancy or smart, it only comes out sounding dumb!) and I really don't know who you are, but you can trust me on this! Your locker code will be safe with me! Hell, I forget easily! (Great, now I sound like a creep!)"

All Bjorn got in response was mumbling. It sounds like that person is being gagged. Maybe they're tied up in there, too! Bjorn just said "FUDGE IT," then ripped the locker door open in a second. To his surprise...

"Steve?!"

Of all the kids to rescue today, it happened to be that cute little nerd. His mouth was taped shut. Bjorn assisted his friend out, then removed the tape afterwards. Knowing his own strength, he tried to peel it off as gently as possible. However, even with the most littlest strength used, he still brought Steve into pain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Calm down, little man! I was only trying to help! I only asked for your combination so I could save the school from property damage! Look!"

After screaming, Steve took out a crumbled up, now soggy, piece of paper from his mouth.

"No. Its not you. I think part of my lip teared off on that tape." "Don't worry, no part of your lip parted. Even if it did, I say you'd still look good. Uhhhhh, I mean that in a platonic statement." "Hmmmm. That's the first time I've ever been told I look good! Heeh heeh heeh, *Snort*" "(That laugh, oh my god! I just wanna &$#@in' hold you!) I hope I'm not making a nosey impression here, but how did you get yourself into this awkward mess?" "Awwwwww, you aren't being nosey at all, my friend! I AM a genuine intellectual! You ask the questions, we answer them!" "Even if it's just a simple one?" "Right-a-reeno! Now, let me see if I could trace back- Oh yeah!"

Steve straightened the paper that was stuffed into his mouth earlier. It revealed to be a flier. A Bug's Life Is A Living Life.

"It's an organization I arranged myself, to help protect those poor defenseless insects! You have to look out for the little guys, you know!" "They stuffed you into your locker for that?" "Yes indeedy! I just don't see what's the problem! What do they have against bugs? Sure, they're not the prettiest sight to the human eye, but they're quite misunderstood, I assure you! In fact, they hold such ecological and economic importance to our environment!"

While Steve was giving his monologue about bugs, Bjorn stared at the nerd, pretending as though he were listening. The way Steve felt about bugs is the same way he feels about him. Steve was unattractive, strange, and conceived as a pest. He was more of a frog than a prince. But, in Bjorn's case, he couldn't see any of those flaws. Steve was something special to him. What Bjorn loved about Steve was how he was good spirited, friendly, and carefree. He manages to stay positive no matter what people think of him. He was the opposite attraction to a worrywart like Bjorn here.

Bjorn wished he could be as careless and fearless as Steve. And the way he cares for his friends is just so wholesome. He cares for them unconditionally. Always popping up to lend a helping hand, always volunteering to give company. Last thing to add was how nice Steve can be. A little too nice, but it just goes to show you how much of a loving guy he is. If he sees a sad soul, he will do anything do put a smile on their face. Steve is always willing to fix a problem, even if it's not his business. He is also willing to stand up for those who have contempt towards him.

Steve may not be perfect, but at least he's passionate, supportive, and kind. People like that make Bjorn's heart beat. Although they have nothing in common, they both can be very clumsy. He wants to tell him how he feels. He wants to tell him before its too late. Whatever that "too late" might be, he won't allow it. But, what if Steve doesn't return his feelings? What if he's really heterosexual? So far, he hasn't witnessed or heard Steve give disgust towards same-gender pairs. It could imply that Steve may be queer himself, or he's just an ally. Bjorn thought, "I could respect Steve's choice, but I'll also be unhappy. It's not gonna be easy finding another one like him." He's got to tell Steve eventually. Now or never.

"Steve?" "Huh?" "Could we change the subject? If not, that's okay. Keep talkin' about your bugs, or somethin'." "Shoot!" "What?" "Go on! Tell the Urk my-ster what you have on your mind! I'm all ears!" "*Gulp* Okay." "My goodness, you're all sweaty! It must be very personal!" "(Now I wish you'd continue talking about your bugs again) Well, I wouldn't say it's MY problem. I have this... ...anon who posted this question to me yesterday on my blog." "'Anon?' Sounds like some slimeball con. That’s certainly something to get hot up about.” "No, Steve. Anon is short for anonymous." "Oh." "They sort of have an issue, involving a crush. They told me they love said person, but they don't know how to bring out a confession. How do I respond?" "Hmmmmmm... sounds like a hopeless romantic distress. Ya know, despite my lack of experience in romance, although the closest I've ever had was a unrequited affection for my fifth grade science teacher, Ms. Rohrback, one of the few pointers I could give to this so-called 'Anon' is to walk right up to said crush, and say, *Grabs Bjorn's shirt and speaks in a raspy tone* 'I can't help but think about you all day. My heart beats rabidly everytime I hear your name. You have no idea what this feeling is doing to me! Look into my eyes, and let me tell you... ...I love you.'"

Steve's gesture made Bjorn's heart beat louder, and he began to sweat more.

"Oh my! Bjorn, I think you oughtta see a nurse! You're more sweaty than usual, and I can hear your heart beat!" "No, I'm fine! Actually, maybe I will pay the nurse a visit! But could I ask a few more questions?" "Well, make it quick! You look as though you're ill, you poor lug!" "What if this anon happens to be shy?" "Tell them to take all the time they need!" "Yeah, but what if they are worried that said crush won't love them back? What if they get rejected?" "Ah, there's plenty of other fish in the sea." "What if they can't find another fish?" "Why are you so concerned with a person's, whom you've never met, social life? Unless these additional questions happen to belong to the Anon themself!" "Of course not! I mean, yes they do! I mean, I don't remember! I probably just dreamt of it!"

Bjorn is reaching his limit. Steve must be getting warmer to him. He is a genuine intellectual. Hell, Bjorn has likely gave himself away with all the sweat he's broken into, the loud heart beat, and these stupid questions. Bjorn yelled "I should get back to class now!" then ran straight through a wall, leaving Steve confused. The janitor came by and soon noticed the big hole. He turned his eyes towards the nerd.

"Well, now, don’t look at me! I didn't do that!"

#Family Matters #reboot #fanfic #Steve Urkel #Laura Winslow #OC (Bjorn Miller)

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mojesticworlds · 5 years

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Wedding Bell Promises

Draco Malfoy X OC

Word count: ??? (I'm on mobile 🤷)

I do not know the owner of the gif as I'm on mobile, sorry. If you know the owner please let me know.

Reader's Insight: Ginny and Maeve Weasley are twins, who at the age of six promised to be the maid of honour at each other's weddings, come hell or high water.

During the Battle against the Dark Lord Voldermort, Maeve pushed Ginny out of the way of a killing curse, however she wasn't so lucky herself.

It was quiet.

It was stale.

It was dim.

It was... Saint Mungo's?

I stared into the darkness for a moment before I pushed my hands against the stiff gurney and forced myself to sit up. There was light peering through under the closed door, my eyes spotted my bedside table which held a green and gold leather bound book, my wand laying in a box with green silk and a dark red gown hung on the wall inbetween the table and the wall.

Confused and a tad bit nervous I reached out and picked up my wand and book, the lights flickering to life as I waved my wand and looked at the book marked page.

Dear Maeve,

It's almost been three years now since the battle which we both lost Fred and you.

George misses Fred so much, he says I don't understand what it's like to lose my twin as you're still technically here, but I can't help but feel like you're both gone and here at the same time. George apologised as soon as he said it of course, he's still struggling to live without as I am with you, but at least we have one another to grieve, even if it's for different reasons.

Harry bought you your maid of honour dress... I told him he didn't have to as the doctors said you showed no signs of waking up anytime soon - or at all. He's been amazing, he's helped mum and dad rebuild the Burrow, we've even bought the land next to it and built a little house for ourselves, he was insistent that we build a one bedroom cottage for you too. He believes you'll wake up, he's even gotten along with Draco Malfoy as they've been organising physical therapy for you!

I invited Draco to our wedding, in not sure if he'll come as he has kept to himself mainly. I know everyone is still unsure about the Malfoy's, but for you I am hoping he comes.

I miss you. I really do. I know everyone says it gets easier but it doesn't. Everyday I am reminded that you aren't here with me. I have failed you, I should've been the one that's in a coma.

I also... I'll just say it. I hate you, I hate what you did, I can't help it I'm so sorry. I hate that I hate you, but I can't stop it. You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way. I should've paid more attention! I failed you! I was meant to look after you!

I'm sorry Maeve.

I'm so fucking sorry.

The diary felt like it was laced with Basilisk venom. I dropped it onto the bed, which then bounced and hit the floor with a loud 'thud'. Looking around the room I see touches of my family to it, a blanket and pillow on the chairs that mum had knitter, little gadgets and pictures from their life events, pictures of babies even! Pushing the blanket off of me I threw my legs over the side of the bed and dropped down.

My hands had to hold me up as my legs felt weak and jelly-like. I noticed a slightly open door next to the dress, which appeared to be a bathroom. Pushing against the furniture and walls I managed to enter the bathroom, only to come face to face with a mirror.

I stared back at myself. I knew it was me - Even though it looked like Great Grandma Rowanina, I had grown older and filled out more, the only thing that stayed the same was my height. Which is slightly annoying as that meant I was still the shortest Weasley.

My hands tugged on the paper thing hospital gown and I span the knobs on the wall to quickly shower in attempt to wash the sterile smell off of myself and to attempt to process what Ginny's diary entry had said.

Three years? I can't remember anything other than heading off into battle against Voldermort. I slower climb into the wide tub and let the shower water pour over me. I closed my eyes, my mind was blank as I scrambled for anything else, but I couldn't. I couldn't think of anything.

Ginny, she hates for me for something I can't even remember, Fred... Fred had...died... A sob clawed its way through me as I began crying. I'd never be able to say goodbye, or go to his funeral, I don't know who else is dead or who is alive. Who else is married? Who has children? How old am I? 19 years? Older? How long ago had Ginny written in the diary?

"Freddie..." I cried.

The water soon got cold. Heaving myself over the tub I stumbled to the only other clothing that looked like it'd fit me, the maid of honour dress. I pulled the soft fabric over my head and found plastic sealed slippers in the cupboard.

I walked out of the corridor and to the main lobby of the hospital before I waved my wand and appeared on the road that leads to the Burrow. Shuffling I slowly made my way home.

There was music in the distance, and many voices, slowly the rebuilt Burrow was in front of me and I stared into the lit up house. It was different, more structuraly sound, I suppose. The voices weren't coming from the house though, the more steps I took the more easier I found walking.

There was a large tent in the distance I hurried my way to it, suspension and nervous fear bubbling in my chest as I reached it.

"Attention, attention you lot! I have something to say!" I heard my dad's voice call out and everything went silent. "I just want to thank you all for coming tonight, I want to thank you all for being family and supporting us through thick and thin. Without you lot we wouldn't be where we are today!"

I reached the opening and looked inside. Dad stood in a suit, holding a glass of bubbling liquid in front of him.

"Harry, my dear lad, I want to thank you for everything you have done for my family. Even if you weren't marrying my daughter, you'd still be apart of this family and will always be our son. Everything you've done and everything you will do, no matter what we will always be proud of you. You will always have a place in the Burrow."

I took a few steps into the tent, watching my father and everyone else watch him. Everyone looked so different, yet the same all at the same time.

"Ginny, I am so proud of the young woman you have become today and I know that you will be amazingly career driven seeing as you have been offered your dream job, just this morning!"

I stared at Ginny, her hair was pinned beautifully up, she wore a beautiful white gown that could've been worn by a princess. My eyes spotted a familiar necklace around her neck though, one old and clashed with her outfit. My hand touched my neck, instantly realised she was wearing my locket on her wedding day, my eyes began to get wet as my dad continued.

"You are a exceptional and beautiful young lady now, and I can't help but see the little girl who would talk my ear off about how cute Harry Potter is!"

"Dad!" Ginny cut in, face going red as she looked at Harry in embarassment.

"I am excited to see what you will do next, I will missing having you lot around and I know both Fred and Maeve are watching you now. They're so proud of you. We all are. And before I start crying and Molly decides to pull me off of the podium, Cheers to the Potter's!"

"To the Potter's!"

"To Fred and Maeve!" Harry yelled, raising his glass after everyone had a drink if there's.

"To Fred and Maeve!"

Everyone yelled once more before taking a sip of their drinks. Dad finally looked away from Ginny and Harry and looked out to everyone who were happily chatting to everyone. His eyes landed on my instantly and he dropped his champagne glass.

"Good grief Arthur! Have you already met your limit?" Someone laughed nearby. Mum stood and quickly attempted to sponge up the spillage and glasses.

"Arthur what's got into you? Arthur?" Mum said as everyone continued to celebrate. "Arthur?"

"Dad?" Ginny said, standing to reach out and touch his arm. "What is it?" She turned and saw me. "May?"

An hush quickly fell over the tent as everyone turned to look at me, standing at the opening of the tent in a brides maid dress and hospital slippers.

"May?" Mum cried out and threw herself over the table - Which was somewhat terrifying as I've never seen her move so quickly. "May!" She cried out before crushing me into a hug. "Oh my god! You're here! It's really you!" She wept as I held onto her for dear life.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened-"

"May!" I felt dad hug me as well, both of my parents holding onto each other as they cried and held onto me for dear life. "You're okay!"

Before I knew it, it appeared everyone was surrounding us and holding onto each other. A see of red hair speckled with a few other colours.

Ginny gently pushed her way to in front of me, grabbing my cheeks and looking into my eyes. "It's really you..."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I say cheekily before she wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my hair.

"I'm sorry! I am so sorry!"

"Gin, it's not your fault-"

"You pushed me out of the way of the killing curse May! You took it for me! How dare you!" She pulled back and hit my head.

"I'm sorry! I don't remember!"

She looked at me with a watery smile. "You made me worry, May... I was so scared that I lost you."

"That's what you get for being the older twin," I say while sticking my tongue out at her. "Look at you though?! You're absolutely gorgeous!" I yelled as I pulled back, staring at her as we continued to hold hands. "Gin... Do you still hate me?"

"Never," she pulled me into another hug. "I wrote those things because I was upset because I thought I lost you. Harry kept saying you'll come back though, you were never the one to break your promises after all."

My head snapped to Harry who stood amongst the Weasley's. "If you break her bloody heart mate, I'll make you regret it."

"Wouldn't count on it," he says while giving me a wink. "Not after you made me bald."

"Oh no! Harry, Draco went home after the ceremony!" Ginny gasped as she re-pulled back into her hug.

"George and Percy have already gone to drag him back, don't you worry," mum said as she looks at me. "I just, I can't believe your back dear." She kissed my cheek.

"I'm glad to be back, mum. Ginny, sorry for ruining your wedding-" I say as I realised I disrupted the celebration.

She smacked my shoulder. "Don't be, we made a promise, remember?"

I nod. "... Did you cut the cake yet though?" She rolled her eyes and laced her fingers with mine before dragging me over to the large table and pushed me onto the empty seat beside her.

"Back to the celebrations everyone!"

The wedding's celebration dial went from a 100 to 1,000. Alcohol was pouring quickly and frequently, everyone was rowdy and dancing like their favourite Quidditch team just won the World cup after a bad streak.

I sat quietly watching it all, feeling oddly tired and out of place. Ginny and Harry held each other close as they slow danced, ignoring everyone dancing like crazy people around them to the high tempo song that was playing.

"She visited you every day, May," mum said quietly as she sat down next to me, watching Harry.

"I feel like I've missed so much, mum."

"Your - Draco, he bought a journal so every visit you'd write something that has happened, so when you wake up you could read it and not miss anything."

A cold chill when down my spine. "I assume we won?" I asked nervously.

"We did," she mused.

"Thank god," I nodded and watched George walk over to us.

"He wasn't at the manor, the house elves said he left quickly and no one knows where he went."

"He'll turn up soon, I'll leave you two to talk."

George slowly took mums empty seat and we sat in silence. "Georgie, I'm sorry..."

"It's fine, I'm just glad you're okay," George said as he places a arm around my shoulder. "Hey, don't cry."

"I can't believe he's gone," I say as I my eyes began to well up again.

"I forgot that you probably just learner this," George said quietly as he pushed my head onto his neck. "Don't worry, I'll always be here for you May, I'll even do the old swap-a-roo if you ever need to talk to Fred."

I held onto him tightly. "I'm sorry that i-"

"If you apologise for being in a coma I swear to god I will make you bald just like we made Harry bald," George warned.

My hand pressed against my eyes as I attempted to force the tears to go away. "You're home now, that's all that matters," George says as he buried his head into my hair. I will never tell anyone that I felt his tears as they made their way to my skin. "Oh cheer up, May! We're at a wedding for god sake! Come on, dance with me!"

"You may need to drag me," I say as he pulls me to my feet.

"Just stand on my shoes, shortie, just like old times."

I laughed at George danced awkwardly as I stood on his shoes. "Molly! Maeve is gone!" I heard a desperate voice yell.

George stopped and we looked over at mum who grabbed ahold of a red faced Malfoy. "The hospital is on lockdown, they don't know where May is! Her wand is missing!"

"I know Draco, loo-"

"We need to begin a search party - I'll head to the ministry, you can stay here, I'll handle everything. I'll get her back-"

"Draco!" Mum reached up and grabbed his chin to force it on my direction. His eyes fell onto me, and I felt like I was hit my a train.

He's different. He's grown up. He wore a lovely dark grey suit and he appeared to be slightly wider and more toned than the last time we met. He also looks like he's grown too, the bastard.

He let go of up and suddenly I was picked off of George and into the arms of Draco.

"Oh my god, May, I can't believe you're okay."

"Draco? I'm sorry," I held onto him.

"I've missed you so much! I've visited every single day! I wrote day everything that's happened, I know it's a lot to take in but I thought you should-"

Impatiently I pulled on his tie and sealed his lips with mine before I pull back and rest my nose on his. "I missed you," he said as his eyes watered. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry we argued before the battle, I'm sorry I'm such a idiot, I love you May. Please forgive me."

"Always Draco, as long as you forgive me for being in a coma," I say while giving him a cheeky smile.

"Always!"

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Miss Weasley."

#harry potter #weasley #ginny weasley #ginny weasley x harry potter #ginny x harry #draco malfoy #draco x oc #wedding #cry #george weasley #fred weasley #one big happ family

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writingshit-ifeel · 6 years

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BTS Reaction to S/O having a loud sneeze.

chimmyddimini Requested:

Could I request BTS reacting to their s/o whose rather tiny have a loud and powerful sneeze, like Taehyung kind of loud? This happens to me and it’s rather hilarious when people get shook from lil tiny me having a big ass sneeze XD .. please and thank you!

Summary: The one in which you have a loud sneeze.

Kim Seokjin:-

It was a special day for you today. You were sitting in front of Jin’s parents, getting to know them. It had already been 7 months of you both dating and Jin so desperately wanted you to meet his parents. And so you were dressed in one of your prettiest and cutest dress and ready to meet his parents. You were obviously nervous but also excited to know the people who gave birth to such a beautiful and perfect man.

All of you were seated on a rectangular table with Jin besides you on your right, while his parents were right in front of you both. The conversations were going on smoothly and you were all having fun, with Jin cracking his dad jokes in between.

The conversations had become a little quieter and chilled out and there was a comfortable peace on the table. It was at that time you felt your nose tingle and just a second later you sneezed. Now, even though you were a girl with a small frame your sneeze was one of the loudest, and this time it was no different. It was loud and embarrassing and everyone’s eyes were on you, rounded in shock.

Jin would be the first one to laugh his famous windshield laughter while his parents too start chuckling. “Oh my God Y/n, can your sneezes get anymore louder?” He asked continuing to laugh.

“Yah!!!” You nudged Jin, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“Who would expect such a small girl to have such a loud sneeze.”

“Jiiiiin,” You would whine but only a little, still aware of his parent’s presence.

“Ohk Ohk I won’t tease,” Jin would say, barely holding his laughter. “But did you catch cold? o you want to visit a doctor?”

“No no, it was just that I was sprinkiling pepper and it got in my nose.”

“Oh then okay. But still Y/n your sneezes are cutest.” he would say as he continued to laugh along with his parents.

Min Yoongi:-

It was late at night around 1:00 am and you were going through your social media. Your boyfriend, Yoongi was sleeping besides you. Actually you were supposed to be asleep too, according to Yoongi’s order, but you couldn’t sleep, so you decided to check your phone.

And even though you knew very well if Yoongi woke up i=he would be very mad and normally you are very scared of a mad Yoongi but today you found the courage to rebel against him.

And it was going all great and you were doing amazing work at hiding that you were not sleeping and enjoying your little late night when you felt the familiar feeling of your nose tickling. And the next second, “AAACHOOOO” you sneezed one of your loudest sneeze.

“Shit,” You cursed under your breath as the phone fell on your face, hurting your nose. What was worst, was you heard movement besides you and the light flooded in the room.

“Y/n, what the hell!! That scared me! ” Yoongi said, his voice sleepy and irritated. You picked up your phone that slipped from your hands and faced a very pissed looking Yoongi. “What were you up to?”

“Uh-uh I was just going to sleep,” You stammered, gulping. You gasped and frowned when your phone was snatched from your hands.

“Its 1:00 in the morning, Y/n! I told you to go to bed by 11! Were you doing this the whole time?”

“Ye-yeah,” You whispered. “I am sorry,” You smiled the most innocent guilty smile you could muster and activating your puppy eyes.

“You have work tomorrow Y/n, and then you complain about being tired.” Yoongi sighed already melting a little at the sight of your face.

“I am sorry! I promise I won’t do this again.”

“You better not,” Yoongi warned. “By the way, your sleeps keep getting louder and louder.”

“So? What about it?” You asked a little embarassed.

“For a little girl you have it very loud, don’t you think?” He chuckled and you hit him lightly on his arms.

“Shut up! I am not short! And my sneezes are not that loud!”

“Yes they are,” Yoongi continued chuckling and engulfed you in hug stopping you from all movements. “But I like it. Helps me when you are being rebellious like this. Your sneezes are really useful and cute, though they surprise me sometimes.”

“I hate you,” You huffed.

“I love you too. Now sleep!” Yoongi replied as he pulled you closer and you snuggled deeper into his chest.

Jung Hoseok:-

“Woah!” You moved closer to Hoseok as the movie you both were watching took the scarier turn.

It was Saturday night, Hoseok and your movie night, and today’s genre was horror. Well the thing was both you and Hoseok are not the bravest and get scared easily.

“Why are we watching this again? When we are such scaredy cats?” Hoseok asked as he cringed at the scary music playing behind.

“Cause I want to try getting over my fear of ghosts,” You replied even though you were not so sure that you wanted to continue. But you both continued, deciding to be brave.

At that moment the music got faster and scarier and the female in the movie was moving towards a scary looking door to a scary room. And just then as she was opening the door, before you knew you sneezed. LOUD AND CLEAR, almost like a man’s sneeze.

“AHHHH!” You were shocked when you saw you boyfriend scream at the top of his tongue and moved away from you, falling from the couch in the process.

“Hoseok!” You gasped. “Are you okay?”

“What the heck Y/n!!!!” Hoseok exclaimed standing up. “You scared me!! Shit you scared me bad! How can such a small female like you have such a big and loud sneeze?!”

“Hey!” You huffed, a little offended by the way he spoke.

“I didn’t meant that way…” Hoseok said immediately as he saw your expression. “Its just that your sneeze always tales me by surprise or scare me.”

“Well I am sorry but you have to live with it.” You shrugged as you continued watching the movie.

“I know,” Hoseok muttered. “I just hoped you didn’t sneeze during horror movies cause you sound possessed.”

“I will try, but no promises,” you said sassily even though Hoseok didn’t expect a reply.

“Good.” He grinned coming closer to you. “Now can we watch something else?”

Kim Namjoon:-

“Why the hell can’t you understand what I am saying Namjoon,” You huffed as you crossed your arms and glared at Namjoon.

“It’s you can’t understand, Y/n” Namjoon defended sounding tired. “How many times do I have to tell you that I was busy with work!”

“Work work work! That’s what you do all day!” You shouted back. “Don’t even have time for me anymore!”

“Y/n you know it is our comeback period right now! What do you expect from me? Spend the whole day with you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Oh really? So what did you mean, Y/n?” Namjoon raised his eyebrows and you sighed. “I thought you understood me better!”

This has been going on for about over a month. Both of you fight a lot especially this past week. And you know the reason was the stupid cold you were suffering from and how Namjoon didn’t even bother to ask even once how you were doing.

“I know you are busy, but, you can give me five minutes of your day right?” You sighed, saddened. “You don’t even greet these days. Come home late and leave early, hardly talk. Is this how you show your love for me?”

“Well I am sorry I did that,” Namjoon answered sarcastically. “I thought you would rather let me sleep and rest so that i don’t get sick.”

Before you could answer, your nose tickled, yet again for the nth time that day and before you could stop it a loud sneeze left your mouth leaving both you and him shook. “Look I don’t have the power to fight right now,” you sighed as you scrunched your nose trying to stop it from burning.

“You have a cold,” realization hit Namjoon and you rolled your eyes. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“If only you let me, tell you,” You retorted.

“Shit,” Namjoon cursed as he moved closer to you. “I am so sorry babes.”

“it’s okay, just next time, at least spend a little time with me. 5 minutes is only what I ask, Joonie.”

“I know and I promise I will give you that” Namjoon smiled. “But Y/n, how do you have a sneeze louder than a man?”

“Namjoon!”

“What? Its true,” He laughed.

“It is not!”

“You have a sneeze louder than Taehyung, Y/n,” Namjoon laughed and you blushed in embarrassment.

“So what if it is?” You asked, offended.

“Nothing, its just so funny and cute, I always am left shook,” He winked. “Now let’s go to the doctor, or else I will have to keep laughing.”

“Haha,” You mock laughed. “Very funny.”

“Yes very,” Namjoon laughed and you just huffed.

Park Jimin:-

You and Jimin were in the dance studio, where you were watching him dance. You always loved watching him dance and today was a special day you could do it. And he especially got ready for it because you were down with a cold and wanted someone to cheer you up.

He was dancing on lost, one of your favorite thing to watch anytime any day. You just adored watching it. He was on your favorite part of the song, when you felt the same sensation of the sneeze coming. Jimin’s eyes widened as he watched you mouth open to sneeze and he expected the loud noise of your sneeze coming but unfortunately it never came. It was one of those annoying sneezes which never came just gave you the feel of coming.

Jimin smiled in relief and continued to dance, and just as he turned to do a step, a VERY loud sneeze left your mouth. And the next thing you saw was Jimin slipping in shock and falling on his butt on the floor. “Shit,” You cursed as you got up and ran towards him, trying hard not to laugh at him..

“Ahh, Y/n,” He groaned. “Your sneeze really scared me!!”

“I am sorry,” You smiled apologetically, holding back the chuckles threatening to escape..

“How is it even so loud?” He asked as he sat up straighter and turned off the music with the remote control.

“How are you always so surprised and scared of it?” You retorted.

“Well you sneezed so suddenly and its not exactly low, so it is scary!!” Jimin replied back. “Also it always surprises me so much.”

“What the hell,” You mumbled. “I never thought a man would get scared of a sneeze.”

“Any man would get scared of that loud sneeze.” Jimin replied and you scowled.

“I am not talking to you,” You huffed as you turned around.

“Sorryyyyyy, to be honest I find them so cute afterwards” Jimin smiled his adorable puppy smile and your heart immediately melted. “By the way, let’s o get your medicine.”

Kim Taehyung:-

“Ah! What a save,” You said as you pressed the buttons on your remote control and controlled the character in the video game. You were just about to lose, but your amazing game skills saved you.

“Not gonna last for long though,” Taehyung smirked. “You are soon gonna lose.”

“Keep on dreaming. I am surely gonna win this round.”

“Aren’t you saying that for like last 5 rounds?” Taehyung teased.

You huffed. “This time, I really will,” You declared determinedly.

But just as you said that, your nose started tickling and the urge to cover your nose and mouth kicked in but you ignored it and focused on your game.

And just after few seconds, you sneezed, loud and clear shaking yourself and even your boyfriend besides you. “Ah!” Taehyung screamed and started laughing as both the characters died due to your sneeze.

“Y/N!!” Taehyung shouted and stood up trying to look upset fighting the amused smile threatening to appear on his face.

“What?! Even I lost!” You retorted.

“Then why did you have to sneeze so loud?” Taehyung asked sitting back down a and letting chuckles he was holding escape. “It’s just so damn funny.”

“Don’t laugh,” you sighed. “I really wanted to win.”

“So you should keep your sneezes low.”

“Talking the guy who has one of the loudest sneeze I know.”

“Well I am man, obviously I will have a loud sneeze,” Taehyung countered smirking trying to look cool but turning out to be adorable. “You are girl and that too so small and then you sneeze so loud, always surprises and shocks me.”

“Well not like I can change that!” You rolled your eyes.

“I know,” Taehyung smiled. “I like your sneeze actually. We match better! So let’s not change! And then let’s sneeze together to scare people.”

“What are you even saying,” You laughed as you hugged him totally surprised by his cuteness. “Our conversation doesn’t even make sense.”

Jeon Jungkook:-

It was kind of a cold day, with cold wind blowing. But you loved winters, so you and your boyfriend, Jungkook were out for a walk till the park.

“Aren’t you cold?” Jungkook asked as he slid his hands deeper into his jacket.

“I am,” You replied, your cheeks getting rosier as you smiled, “But I like cold weaather.”

“I am worried you will catch cold,” Jungkook sighed as you both continued walking.

“I won’t,” You waved his concern off and skipped towards the park. There were really few people and you liked it that way. Another reason to like winter.

It was 5 minutes after entering the park that you started to feel the tingling sensations in your nose. And now you were sure that you had caught the cold, and all you could do is get it all out. So you started to sneeze. But the problem was, your sneezes were loud and continuous.

You sneezed 6 loud times continuously. “Y/n,” Jungkook laughed as he looked at you flushed face as you tried to catch your breath. “I knew you sneezed loud but like this? 6 time is a row?”

“Yah! Jeon Jungkook!” You tried to say but another sneeze interrupter you and followed another sneeze. “Shit!”

“I told you not to come out!” Jungkook said between his laugh. “Damn that was so meme worthy! If only I recorded it!”

“I thought you were worried about me,” You huffed.

“I am,” Jungkook laughed.

“You don’t look like it.”

“But your sneezes, they are so funny! Such a short little girl sneezing o loud and so many times, its so damn funny!”

“They are annoying!”

“They are equally fun! Makes me want to record you and show it you to show how cute and funny you look.”

“Ah my nose still tickles,” You complained as you rubbed your nose.

“Oh I should keep my camera ready then! I will show everyone that you sneeze as loud as V hyung!”

“Yah!”

“Ok ok sorry!” Jungkook laughed. “Let’s go home and get you some cold medicines. And next time listen to me.”

“As if, I will listen,” You smirked and started running as soon as you said that, with Jungkook chasing you.

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I hope you like it! Sorry its a little late! Enjoy and do let me know in the asks if you liked it or not!!

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