#i should be kicked to the stratosphere for this LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anunvalidcritic · 3 years

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INVINCIBLE: S1-EP1

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

So I was on my Prime Video account, and I saw that there was a new animated superhero. As I watched the teaser I thought, “Man, I gotta do better at seeing new shows.” So I watched it and JESUS CHXST SOOOO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE FIRST EPISODE!!!

IT’S ABOUT TIME

The way this show started really threw me for a loop because it fully invested me in this conversation about STEVE’s step son MATT...

“I’m supposed to learn to tuck and roll away from a guy who can shoot laser out of his eyes, or control minds, or kick a goddamn school bus to the moon?” -

He’s got a point...

MATT had it rough y’all...

Don’t start cryin’ STEVE... not at work

The art style kinda reminds me of the BOONDOCKS

STEVE don’t start stumblin’ on your words now..

WAR WOMAN slapped him with that weapon like nothin’

RED RUSH + Zoomin’ to Fast = Vomit

He didn’t have to throw that civilian by the head like that ROFL

I won’t lie... as soon as I saw this man I immediately thought... “Black Batman”... I am ashamed

They are really fuckin’ up the WHITE HOUSE... I wonder how the taxpayers feel about this??

We appreciate the diversity in in any show!

Ahh high school drama... gotta love it....

LMAO ANDREW is into mustaches

TODD has such a dicky name... I feel bad for the dudes named Todd.

Ahh come on, MARK! Your dad is OMNI-MAN, and he didn’t teach you to block a hit like that??

AMBER comin’ in clutch with the kick to the balls

BUGER MART = BURGER KING

I really hope those trash bags don’t bust open on him...

...well damn...

OMNI-MAN is not lookin’ excited about him getting his powers. I think we can all agree that there’s a little more to their powers...

CAAANNNNAAAADDDDAAAAA

Dude, don’t psych yourself out, just do it!

He practically floated into the stratosphere and hit that ground like nothing

TRAINING W/ OMNI-MAN

My mouth was a bit ajar listening to the pee analogy

“Try to hit me.” - OMNI-MAN

Now you know damn well he can’t hit you...

BRO HE DIDN’T HAVE TO ROCK HIS SON’S SHIT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

“I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” - OMNI-MAN

dude your face says otherwise

Something is off with OMNI-MAN...

I would’ve slammed the door as well... if I lived in the same household as him ROFL

Alright, so now it’s confirmed that ANDREW doesn’t know that OMNI-MAN is MARK’s father. I thought he might of because of the whole mustache comment but that is not the case lol.

If a guy is telling you to repeatedly him and he slowly becomes numb to it then you should probably start walking TF AWAY

Look at all that property damage....

“What about Ass Kicker? No... that sounds willful childish.” - MARK

MARK your dad is on a different level... don’t have him rock yo shit again..

I’m not vibing with the orange outfit...

“Make me.” - MARK

I could never and I MEAN NEVER say some shit like that to my mom, superhero or NOT

“I’m nothing like Dad. I’m more like you. I’m nothing special.” - MARK

Well, fuck you too MARK fuck... you...too

I like how they’re just playing catch in the middle of the sky above their neighborhood like it’s nothing.

That ball is going all the way around the world like a fuckin’ merry-go-round!

He is now...INVINCIBLE

Great solo flying sequence

“You guys think your biting off a little more than you can chew? That building has a whole in it, look!” - KILL CANNON

I liked how he asked if it was all clear after he punched him through the building.

RED RUSH + CONVERSATION = BORDEM

lol dude is the prime video version of Marvel’s Vulture

So everybody’s gettin’ called to the base... is there an invasion going on??

DARK WING has some cool tech!

Alright, everybody’s accounted for... who called the team meeting if it wasn’t any of th

NO NOT RED RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!

“Why have you done this?” - THE IMMORTAL

yeah I wanna know tooo!

ofc the one with no powers gets fuckin’ DEMOLISHED in a heartbeat!

GREEN GHOST did not have to go out like that!

ICONIC DIALOGUE

AQUARUS - “Are you alright?!”

MARTIAN MAN - “I live.”

BRO WAR WOMAN & THE IMMORTAL ARE GOIN’ IN!!!! I MEAN THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT TO BUCKY AND CAP TAG TEAMIN’ IRON MAN!!

WHAT EH FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OMNI-MAN HAS LOST HIS FUCKING MIND!!!!!!!!

.... at least WAR WOMAN got her neck snapped...

SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME THAT SHIT WAS UST A DREAM!?!?

nah that was real because he looked a little to tired from that dead

______

THIS SERIES IS ALREADY FUCKING AMAZING! My God, I’m already excited for a season two LOL. Let’s get to episode two, shall we? Just remember that everyone’s a critic when their opinion matters the least.

List of Episodes with link :) ~

EP1 - EP2 - EP3 - EP4 - EP5 - EP6 - EP7 - EP8

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softcallofdutyimagines · 3 years

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could I request some Persues? and also Hudson or Lazar with a tall so?

JDSJSKSKSK PLEASE I LOVE TALL S/O STUFF 😭😭👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 I'm going to put reader at like 5'11-6' if that's okay with everyone. I think we can all (hopefully 💀) agree that no matter how you identify, that's fairly tall for a human being lol.

Anyway, thank you and enjoy!! 💖

Hudson

He loves you, he really does, and yet he feels....

Intimidated?

Self conscious?

Especially if you like to wear heels, this putting you about a good two or so inches above him... Oof

Hudson is infamous for being bad at expressing emotions, so he's not too sure how to explain this feeling

However...

He would rather suffer the worst torture imaginable then admit it, but

Some strange part of him secretly enjoys it when you either get up on your toes or slip on your heels and tease him for being "short"

Oh he'd never let on. Not in a million years.

But for as much as he feels odd having a partner be nearly is perfect match in height, when he himself is already quite tall, it does have it's perks...

Lazar

As such a tower of a man at 6'4, Lazar finds it quite refreshing to have a significant other near his stratosphere

It's nice to not have to worry about squashing you or anything like that as he might with a smaller individual, you know?

Anyway, if you happen to be a tall woman, you can banish the thought of being self-conscious of wearing heels and being "too tall"

Lazar supports you no matter what and encourages you to do whatever makes you feel your best of course

Even though he thinks it would be totally kick ass for a tall person such as yourself to flex on everyone else and become even taller with some fancy heels

He 100% makes jokes that the two of you should join a basketball team

Also, he knows all the good places to go for clothes that fit tall individuals properly, which is such a life saver tbh

Despite being so tall, he still finds a way to make you feel delicate though

You can expect lots of forehead kisses, especially since he (finally!) doesn't have to basically double over to give them out

Perseus

He would be both proud and in awe of you

Even though he's only an inch or so taller then you, he feels absolutely no inkling of self consciousness or anything of that stupid sort (sorry Hudson 😪)

In fact, your height is even more impressive back home in the ussr when he takes you to covertly visit

The two of you truly look like the ultimate power couple, strutting around and outpacing everyone else like you do

And if you like heels and end up being a bit above him... All the better!

He's just proud of you and thinks you're gorgeous, especially when you're just being your natural self

Just to prove it, and also because you deserve it!! he likes to take you dancing to show off your long, graceful frame

Despite his age, he spins and lifts you like any younger man could, to both you and the other dancer's pleasant surprise

Besides, he loves to see you move

So... Beautiful. Like poetry in motion

And you must say, that's something you really love about him too

He loves you, just for being yourself

#black ops cold war #call of duty #jason hudson #call of duty headcannons #eleazar azoulay #perseus #perseus x reader #eleazar azoulay x reader #jason hudson x reader

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izuocha-love · 5 years

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Hungry

Decided to write another Izuocha fic based on dumb stuff I was doing earlier. Got steamier than intended, and it’s cheesy lol

Deku catches Ochako doing stupid stuff

Ochako tossed and turned in her bed, wrapped up in the warmth her green comforter provided her.

She yawns, eyes peering open and staring up at her astronomy poster with an out of focus gaze.

She groggily reached over to her nightstand, fumbling around to grasp at her phone in the dark.

She felt something that matched its shape and took it from it's place.

Ochako flips it open, immediately regretting it as the light from her flip phone blinded her. She groans lightly, squinting at the phone to gain any sort of clarity.

"2:37AM"

As she grimaced at the early time, she felt her stomach grumble. She moved a hand over her stomach to silence it's complaints, flipping her phone closed and placing it back on the nightstand.

But her stomach wasn't having any of it.

She was so nice and cozy and warm. Why of all times did her body decide that now was the time she needed sustenance?

"But I don't wanna get upppp.." she mumbled to herself. Almost as if on queue, her stomach voiced another growl. Much louder than the previous times.

"Ugh, fine." She grumbled out, throwing her covers off of herself and planting her feet and standing up. Feeling her head dizzy at the quick action and attempting to stabilize herself.

Trudging over to the other side of her room, she flipped the light switch on. She opened her closet door, eyes scanning over the dry goods she kept to herself.

"Ramen sounds good, I guess." She said, grabbing one of the instant ramen bowls she'd bought at the convenience store a few days ago. She was accustomed to eating them often. They were tasty, quick and easy to make and most importantly, cheap.

She slipped on her house slippers and gently opened her door, careful not to wake any of her classmates. Normally, Aizawa would scold them for being out this early.

However, it was the weekend. They still needed to train and do their best, even on their days off. But Aizawa was more lax when classes weren't going to be held the next day.

She'd been caught more than a few times sneaking into the kitchen late at night. Aizawa was quite strict with curfew rules, so the few times he'd catch her sneaking in he would scold her for being up so late. The most he would let anyone do is grab something to drink and tell them to hurry back to bed.

But he definitely wouldn't mind if she got up to fix herself something to eat, right?

At least, that's what she hoped.

Ochako rounded the corner of the dorm hallway, peering left and right to make sure no one was in sight. She gently walked over to the elevator, pressing the 'up' button. Gently tapping her slippered foot as she awaited its arrival.

"I wonder if anyone else is up right now.." She pondered to herself. Surely, there had to be a few. If she had to make a guess, Tokoyami was definitely one of them. Possibly Jirou, maybe Shouji.

As gentle ding snapped her out of her thoughts, seeing that her metal carriage had arrived.

She walked forward, gently pressing the 'down' button. She leans back against the wall of the elevator, taking in the sounds of pulleys moving her toward her destination.

The door opens, and she peers out, searching for any sight of their teacher. Not seeing anyone, she tiptoes her way into the kitchen.

She flicks the lights on, a buzz resounding in the room. She walks toward the sink and tears the lid off her soon-to-be meal, filling it with water and throwing it into the microwave for three minutes.

She absentmindedly stares at her bowl, spinning around as more thoughts fill her mind. Feeling a little more awake now that she walked down here.

She closes her eyes, enjoying the silence in the dorm. She could swear she could make out the light sounds of a guitar strumming. Maybe Jirou was up, after all. "Maybe I'll pay her a visit if I can't get back to sleep tonight.." She says, to no one in particular.

Ochako stares up at the ceiling, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Her mind recalls the previous week and all the work they've done. They were practicing their basic forms as well as improving their quirks. Everyone was told to try to find a fighting style they felt worked well with their quirk. Some of the less combat-oriented students were a bit lost on what to do about their forms. She looked into other moves she could use to improve her technique, though she found the martial arts Gunhead taught her to be a good match for her.

Looking around the kitchen and making sure no one was around, she decided to practice her moves while waiting on her food.

She pivots her foot behind her, balling her fists together and gives the air a punch. The air whistling past her fist.

She punches the air once more, quickly holding her forearms together afterward to block.

Her mind quickly imagines up a pretend opponent, and she puts up a pretty good fight against them.

After about 20 seconds, she realizes how silly she must look. Practicing her form in the kitchen, in fuzzy pink pajama's close to 3 am. She giggles to herself, and gives the air another punch but in a much more comical manner.

She shuffles her feet around in a goofy manner, pretending to practice kung fu. She kicks high up into the air, mumbling a "wa-tah!"

Soon she's chopping the air in random places, mumbling a high-pitched "hi-ya!" each time she does so.

She continues to shuffle around, side chopping the air. Her movements completely devoid of any skill. She makes more little silly noises, completely lost in her own goofiness.

"Yeah, that's right. You better run away." She whispers out in a silly tone.

She pivots on one foot and turns around to chop another opponent.

She freezes, her eyes meeting a pair of emerald green ones a few feet in front of her.

Deku is standing a few feet away, hand covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

She's frozen in her goofy position, an awkward smile still plastered on her face. The microwave goes off with a resounding 'beep'.

Her face goes beet red, "H-how much did you see..?" She manages to squeak out.

He wheezes and bends over in laughter, unable to stifle it. She throws her hands up to her face, feeling the heat radiating off of it.

And also felt herself float up to the ceiling, wishing it didn't exist so she could float off into the stratosphere.

"Sorry, I came downstairs to grab a bottle of water, and happened to see you practicing your form." He says as he catches his breath. He couldn't help but watch his friend. She looked so determined and poised. Like she was ready to take on anyone. But then she started being silly, and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. She was being a goober in the kitchen at 3 am, how was he supposed to not laugh?

That, and...he couldn't help but admire how cute she looked.

Ignoring the heat flooding into his cheeks, he approaches her, reaching for her arm to pull her down from the ceiling.

"But I guess you're a kung-fu master now, huh?" He says, laughing heartily.

Ochako peers through her fingers to send him a glare, but is completely unable to in that moment.

He's looking up at her, laughing and smiling up at her. Giving her the purest, brightest smile she had ever seen.

She can't but love the sound of his laugh. Had she ever heard him laugh before..? She didn't think so.

Ochako feels him pulling her down, and she floats down awkwardly. Still in a daze, she can't look away from him. Wonder filling her doey eyes as his own finally open to meet hers.

It feels like everything slows down for a moment. A comforting warmth spreads through her as she peers into his eyes.

Why cant she look away? Not that she wanted to. She could stay here forever and swim in the sea of emerald that was his eyes.

Izuku had stopped laughing as he noticed her looking into his eyes. He's completely mesmerized by her.

She's floating above him upside down, at face level with him. Her deep brown eyes are boring into his soul, looking at him with wonder.

He feels himself become lost in them. Lost in her.

Her chestnut brown hair floats gently around her face, locks of it rippling through the air.

"She's so beautiful.." He hears himself think. Subsequently snapping him out of his daze just enough to realize what was happening.

Her face was just a little too close to his own.

"U-Uraraka..?" He stutters out, his face crimson.

"..Huh..?" She says dreamily, her dazed eyes beginning to fill with clarity.

Oh. OH. Right.

"R-Release.." She says as she spins back into place, her feet falling to the floor once more.

Both of them stand there for a moment, completely silent and red all over.

"Ur....Ur-Uraraka..?" Izuku starts, unsure if he should speak at all with how bad he's stuttering. He clears his throat in an attempt to quell his own nervousness. "Was there..something you wanted to ask me..?"

"Huh..?" She says, glancing over to him. He's looking down at the floor, with a hand on the back of his neck.

Oh..right. She did look pretty deep into his soul just a moment ago. In that moment, it probably did look like she wanted to ask him something.

"Oh, no actually. You just caught me off guard a little." Ochako says, twiddling her thumbs.

Izuku turns to look at her, an eyebrow cocked upwards in confusion. "What do you mean..?"

She walks off to the side a bit, opening the microwave and getting her bowl before her food gets too cold.

"I think..that was the first time I've ever heard you laugh." She says, closing the microwave door with her elbow. If she was honest with herself, she never wanted to quit hearing that laugh.

"R-really?" Izuku says, his head tilted to the side a bit. His face had a hint of surprise written on it.

Sure, he wasn't as silly as the others had been. But had she really never heard him laugh before?

Mirio was right. He did need to learn how to have a sense of humor.

"Yup..It stunned me a little" Ochako said with a nervous giggle, not daring to look into his eyes. "Besides, it was really cute!" She said, beaming at him with a grin full of sunshine.

Izuku could've died just then. His heart was beating so fast he feared going into cardiac arrest.

"Cute. CUTE. Him?!? She called him CUTE?!?" Deku screamed internally, stuttering complete nonsense and fidgeting. His skin feeling so hot it could rival Todoroki's flame. His mind too far gone to understand she only called his laugh cute.

Ochako watched him fall apart with a grin. She loved making him nervous and teasing him. It was just too easy.

"Well then," She says, resuming her silly stance in crane formation. "You wanna take me on?" She asks, giving a playful jab to his gut.

He stumbles back and out of his stupor, giggling a bit at her playful gesture. "Oh, it's on." He says with whimsical determination, taking on a silly stance of his own.

What ensued was a series of goofy slap fighting and stupid cheesy 'karate' sounds.

She starts giggling uncontrollably through the entire thing, and he's beaming at her. Her laugh was something he never wanted to stop hearing.

She manages to get behind him and put him in an arm hold. Causing him to lean back into her shoulder.

He can feel her soft cheek against his, and he feels like he could stay in that arm hold forever. Was he dead? Was he in heaven? He sure hoped so.

They stay like that for a few seconds. Izuku's body relaxes against her and she becomes quite aware of their position when he does.

She loosens her hold on him, just enough for him to break free and knock her off her feet by swinging his leg just hard enough behind her knees. Catching her before she has the chance to hit the ground.

"I win." He says with a cheeky grin, before opening his eyes.

They both light up crimson for the hundredth time that night. Izuku audibly gulps at the sight before him.

He's holding her, standing above her and slightly crouched down. One hand on the back of her head, nested in her unbelievably soft hair. The other on the small of her back.

"D-Deku-Kun..?" She says in a light whisper. She's mystified at the feeling of being in his arms. The warmth of his hands on her, and his eyes looking into her own. Clearly filled with surprise, but there's something else there she continues to search for.

Without thinking, he leans down ever so slightly more to hear her. His eyes land on her lips once the whispered words leave them. "Y-Yeah..?" He stutters out, his voice cracking a bit. He's lost once more in his beautiful friend resting in his arms.

Ochako continues to stare into his eyes, searching for an answer. An answer to all of her questions about him.

Was this wrong, what they were doing?

Was it longing she saw in his deep green eyes?

How is she supposed to keep her feelings for him hidden when he's holding her and looking at her like this?

Izuku looks on into her eyes, seeing them shift down as if she's in deep thought. He begins to feel a little worried until her eyes fully meet his again.

"H-Have I ever told you.." She says, raising a hand up to cup his face, careful not to make him float. She places her other hand on the curve of his neck. His eyes soften that much more when she does. "-That your eyes are beautiful..?" She finishes, watching his eyes widen.

Izuku feels a surge of confidence, deciding to lean closer to her. His forehead meeting her own. She inhales sharply at the feeling. She felt like she was floating in a sea of warmth and love. She moves a hand into his hair and pulls him slightly closer, their noses brushing.

"Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?" He says, not missing a beat. His voice sends shivers down her spine. He was a completely different person apart from the flustered Deku she saw a few moments ago. His eyes are hazed over with a look of wanting, and need.

In that moment, she couldn't stand hiding her feelings for him anymore. She needed to feel his lips against hers.

She leans up just slightly, her lips brushing gently against his. He let out a low groan at the feeling. He couldn't think anymore, his mind blanked entirely upon feeling her lips just barely graze his.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

She whispered against his lips.

And that did it in for him.

He pressed his lips into hers fully, both mewling in mutual pleasure. Both of their lips warm and wet. The sound of moans and lips meeting and separating bounced off the walls of the once empty kitchen. He presses her against the kitchen counter, running his tongue against her bottom lip. Barely feeling her own touch his. They melted into each other, her hands dug into his fluffy dark green hair. Their kiss becoming more heated as the seconds pass by. Izuku widens their kiss so their tongues can meet, writhing against each other in a passionate dance.

They kissed for what felt like hours, but it lasted only a few minutes.

Izuku is the first to pull away, he places both palms on her cheeks, running his thumb across the tears that ran down them.

"I love you, Ochako." He says, with a smile filled with adoration. He hid his feelings for his best friend for so long, pushing them down as a means to keep focusing on working towards being the symbol of peace.

They leaned against each other, holding each other and staring into each others eyes. Swaying back and forth slowly to the sound of silence. Nothing could ruin this night for them.

"Ahem."

Both of them jumped, being knocked out of their dreamland. They separated a bit to see who was standing behind them.

Shit.

Aizawa was standing there, his eyes glowing a deep red. "Both of you." He began, annoyance clear in his voice. "Are coming with me." He says, annoyance prevalent in his deep voice.

They both know what's coming.

Aizawa takes hold of his scarf and grabs both of them, dragging them down the hall on the way to his office.

Both of them are dying of utter embarrassment, stained red as their classmate's file out of their rooms one by one to see what's going on.

They're both given a week of house arrest, plus being tasked with cleaning the outer grounds of their dormitory. Ochako's ramen went cold that night, and neither one of them slept.

As both of them sweat from the amount of work they've been tasked, they can't help but feel left out of the loop from the rest of their class.

It sucks, but they didn't regret it.

#izuocha #izuku x Ochako #deku x ochako #dekuchako #ochako x deku #deku x uraraka

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manawhaat · 4 years

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What's your best vacation memory? ❤️

Oof… there are a couple that stand out from my childhood but I have to go with the Vegas/Pioche trip I took with my dad and my middle sister in 2015.

This is FUCKING LONG so if you feel like reading about it for 6 hours then there’s more under the cut and I’ll throw in some photos at the bottom because this trip really did just make me so happy.

I had joined a photography scavenger hunt group and participated in a couple of rounds (and got some rad photos!) when they decided to hold a meet up. It was held in Vegas and they had classes and photo shoots and group trips out to different places in the surrounding area. I decided to go and booked a hotel room fro the last day of the meet up, but then my mom died. The meet up was about 2 months after that so when I was trying to figure out if I should still go, etc, my sister and my dad said they’d go with me.

On the way there we drove through the desert because we always do and my sister and I played the Alphabet game. It was the most intense game she or I have ever played. We were on x by the time we got into the middle of no man’s land and I managed to get it on a random XTRA semi truck that was parked in the middle of a salt flat. She got it as soon as we got back onto the main road on a car licence plate that was ‘xmasgft’. We went back and forth getting one only for the other to get the same letter seconds later. It was crazy. I was on Z when she was on Y and at one point she started saying ‘oh shit oh fuck oh shit’ and I started to panic thinking we were about to get into a car accident or something… when she stopped panicking I asked her what her problem was and apparently we’d passed a billboard for Zoomanity and she was panicking that I was gonna win. Her panicking distracted me and I didn’t get the Z. She ended up getting her Y and immediately after I found another Z on a sign that said ‘construction zone’ and it was the best ‘fuck you’ and the most victorious win of, like, anything that I’d experienced up until that point. It was fantastic!

When we got into town I never did make it to the meet ups lol. I saw one person I know from the group while walking out of the hotel, but that was about it. I didn’t really have it in me to branch out and go to the meet up functions by myself so I didn’t. Instead I hung out with my family. We went zip lining over Freemont street and walked around, we went to the Mob Museum (which was fascinating), we did the Mandalay Bay Aquarium, and went out to the Hoover Dam. I’d never been and it was really cool, it was a gorgeous day and it we took a bunch of cute pictures there.

We’d all made a pact that we were going to do the controlled free-fall that they offer at the Stratosphere but when we got up to the top and watched a few people do it we all collectively noped out lol. We ate at this restaurant near the Stratosphere called The Peppermill that is FUCKING FANTASTIC. The food was good but the ambiance. Holy shit. It was like Vegas in the early 80s threw up in there. It was so good. Just neon lights and mirrors and tacky carpet and too many potted plants. The waitress was your classic sassy waitress, which only added to the experience, and my sister ordered the ‘mammoth pancakes’. It came with two and the plate weighed like 4 pounds!

We did a few other things but I remember just being in a good mood the whole trip. I had gotten a throw pillow with Dean’s face on it before the trip and I took it with us so we could sleep in the car comfortably and I remember taking pictures with the Dean pillow like everywhere we went and it became a funny sort of adventure with him. I was also talking to a guy on my dating app that I was like, legit in love with. Everything about him felt so perfect and I remember telling my sister that if he magically transported to Vegas while we were still there that I’d 100% marry him.

This was also the first time being in Vegas since I’d turned 21 (that Vegas trip was a fucking nightmare!) and this really made up for it. I got drunk downstairs at the hotel and won like 80 bucks on a machine, which was the most I’d ever won at that point, so we had to stop and play that machine at every casino we saw it at. My sister and I had also been on a Ghost Adventures kick before that and there’s a very specific sound that one of their devices makes and the elevator at the hotels all made that sound, so we were constantly making it and giggling at it. All in all, it was just a lot of fun and a lot of like, solid bonding and enjoyment of the experiences we were having and who we were with.

Keep in mind, ^^^^THAT’S ALL STILL JUST VEGAS! ^^^

Since we’d been on the Ghost Adventures kick, we stayed in Vegas for a couple of days and then drove out into the desert toward Pioche, Nevada. The Ghost Adventures Crew had done a paranormal hunt there at the Overland Hotel that is notoriously haunted (rooms 10 and 14, specifically).

I remember the drive being a nice clear day and the type of desert started to shift a little from what we’re all used to so there was some cool scenery. Now, we were on this trip in like April so I packed for desert weather in April, but what they failed to mention to me was that Pioche was in the HIGH desert, which didn’t really mean anything to me until we made it around a ridge and saw fucking snow!

We pulled over and played in it a little bit and then finished the drive and, lo and behold, it got more snowy. So when we finally arrived in Pioche I had to walk my happy ass through snow in leggings and sandals and a tank top with only a light jacket. And the next day, I only had shorts or a different pair of equally as thin leggings! It was terrible, but in a funny way.

The town of Pioche is fucking TINY! The population is literally barely over 1,000 and even when we were there we couldn’t figure out how it even held that many people! So we checked into the hotel and managed to get room 10 (one of the most haunted ones) and walked around. It was an old mining town so we checked out the remains of the tram, we went down to the Boothill Cemetery that had wicked old graves that were like, really old western graves of people who’d died in like the early 1800′s in saloon shootouts.

We had food at the only diner in town and while we were walking up a truck drove by goin’ extra slow. The driver was a good ole country boy- he was super hot- and in the back of his truck bed were…. idk, 15 or so fucking BEAGLE PUPPIES! I fell in love, I legit chased his truck down the street lol. It was like, the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.

So we hung out in the tiny place and when night fell we went downstairs to the bar at the hotel and hung out. We talked to one of the hotel staff who actually appeared in the episode of Ghost Adventures and we talked about the guys on the show and she was just really down to earth and funny.

Then, I got shitfaced.

I remember sitting at the high table watching my dad play pool with some locals while my sister was talking to some guy who’d also been on the show (and was a regular at the bar). At that point, I was really drunk and really lovey, so I decided to drunk dial everyone I knew to tell them I love them. Only, I didn’t get reception in the hotel, so I walked my happy ass out into the freezing night, and kept walking almost two blocks down to a little bench outside of the run down fire station and sat outside for over an hour, in the snow, in leggings and sandals, calling everyone I knew to tell them how much I loved them.

My sister finally came looking for me and dragged me back to the hotel while I was still on the phone, and I was able to make one more call to a friend. Drunk!me thought it would be a GREAT idea to finally confess that I had a crush on him and wanted to make out, so I told him that, and when he asked ‘uh, what?’, my dumb ass said it again, clearer and louder so he wouldn’t miss it!

Before he could respond my sister figured out what I’d just said and snatched my phone away and hung up. We went back inside to get my dad and then we walked up the street to the other bar in town and while we were walking my dad started throwing snowballs at us, so I fuckin’ took off. In my entire life I’ve never run as fast as I did that night lol. I ran so fast that only stopped after my drunk brain could register the flash of neon I’d passed. So I turned around and was a few buildings away from the bar and when I looked for my sister and dad, they were still at the other end of the street a good 2 football fields away!

We went in and played shuffleboard and hung out. They paid the bartender not to give me anymore drinks and I then crawled on the bar and tried to convince him to give me more lol. I ended up going to the bathroom and the signs didn’t say ‘men’ and ‘women’, they said ‘John’ and ‘Mary’ and I freaked out because, Supernatural, duh!

When we left the bar later that night, with me even more drunk than before, my dad started throwing snowballs again and we ran down the street. There was a kind of boardwalk that we were running on and we didn’t realize it ended with a staircase so I jumped into the road and ran down the asphalt but my sister ended up, in a full sprint, leaping off the end of the boardwalk and crashing into me. She was so graceful and when she was in the air it was like she was in slow motion. So when she landed we were howling with laughter and then we rounded the building and there was a big ass dog right in our faces! I freaked out just because I was shocked but it ended up being friendly and sauntered off, but drunk me was already laughing at my sister’s majestic leap so I started laughing even harder that I’d gotten so scared.

I ended up peeing my pants and we went back into the hotel and I tripped going up the stairs, resulting in more laughter and more pants peeing. We finally got to the room and I changed and we went to sleep. The room (and hotel, itself) were pretty creepy, and because we knew it was haunted I was already on high alert. They went to sleep but when I tried to, and every time I closed my eyes, I could feel someone standing at the side of the bed staring at me. I kept smelling and feeling little gusts of wind in my face, as if someone was sitting by the bed staring me down and was smoking a cigarette/cigar and blowing the smoke in my face. It was incredibly unnerving because it didn’t stop not once all night, so I ended up staying up all night watching tv, hoping I didn’t see anything or feel anything else.

The next day when I showered I couldn’t shower fast enough because it felt like someone was watching me shower and we thanked the hotel staff and left. I slept on the drive home and at one point when I woke up my sister asked if I’d heard from my friend. I said no and was really confused and then she asked if I remembered calling anyone last night and then it all struck me and I was mortified the rest of the ride home. When I got home I decided to just be straight up so I texted him saying that I’d meant what I said and was open to either going that route, if he was also interested in me, or just staying friends. He ended up ignoring me for weeks and I had to talk to a mutual friend about it. Now it’s just water under the bridge, but a hilarious memory. I even wrote a fanfic about the whole trip to Pioche! (I think some of the details in the fic are wrong/exagerated, and I’m not totally clear on some of the details that I’ve recounted here as they differ from the details at the end of that fic, but it’s all as accurate as I can remember without asking my sister for more clarification.)

All in all every part of the trip was just FUN. We didn’t ever have a moment where things went wrong, we didn’t have bad experiences. We weren’t stressed. It was exactly what my soul needed after spending years watching my mom battle with cancer. It was a bonding retreat and everything about it just soothed me and filled me with so much joy and the memories I have of that trip will last a lifetime.

#ask game #do the thing win the points #thank you for this one and sorry it was so long!#mrswhozeewhatsis #mana answers

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ashleyspinelliburnbook · 4 years

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S1E7: I Will Kick No More Forever/The Kid Came Back

It was bound to happen eventually, but these two were...not as good as the others? I don’t know, y’all. I didn’t feel fulfilled or inspired watching this pair of episodes. But I tried...for one of them, anyway.

I Will Kick No More Forever

Well, okay, there was one inspiring thing. Gretchen and Gus doing commentary for the kickball games made me think they should probably do a podcast together. So here’s a sports podcast that happens to be about the plot of this episode!

(I’m just going to write this all at once and see what happens. I have only ever written TV scripts, so I’m just winging it. Forgive me.)

GRETCHEN: I’m Gretchen Grundler.

GUS: And I’m Gus Griswald.

GRETCHEN: And this is “I am in Sports.”

[theme music]

[theme music fades]

[nat sound: kickball noises]

GRETCHEN: Kickball. Or as it’s known in most of Canada, “soccer baseball.” A sport of humble origins, and today, one of the most popular recess games in the United States.

GUS: You might not know all the names of some of the great kickballers in the storied history of the sport, but today, we’d like to introduce you to one in particular who took the playground by storm.

[nat sound fades]

ANNOUNCER (SOT): “Here comes Vince ‘The Foot’ LaSalle!”

ANNOUNCER 2 (SOT): “Kicks lefty, throws righty...”

ANNOUNCER 3 (SOT): “And that ball’s not coming back! A home run!”

ANNOUNCER 4 (SOT): “The undisputed, single greatest kicker that Third Street School has ever seen.”

GRETCHEN: Vince LaSalle. A fourth-grader in name only, he made everyone from kindergarteners to sixth-graders quiver in their kickball shoes whenever he stepped up to the plate.

GUS: His trajectory was storied. He was the only known kindergartener in Third Street School history to be invited to play with the first-grade kickball team, and by second grade, he was challenging sixth-graders to play.

GRETCHEN: This confidence was impressive. Inspiring, even. But it wasn’t meant to last.

VINCE (SOT): “Okay, everyone! Outfield in!”

GRETCHEN: It was a regular Tuesday, bottom of the ninth inning. Recess would be over in about two minutes. Ashley Q. was at the plate, fresh off a phone call, and Vince made the call to bring the outfield in.

GUS: It would be the last time anyone on the playground would trust him for a long time.

ANNOUNCER 5 (SOT): “That ball is up! And up! And up! Good golly, that ball is gone! It’s out of this world! Ashley Q., ladies and gentlemen!”

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “It was...horrible.”

GUS: “Horrible?”

VINCE: “When you make a call like that, bringing the outfield in, bringing everyone in, you don’t...that’s not what’s supposed to happen.”

GUS: “What is supposed to happen?”

VINCE: “Well, the opposite of that.”

- END SOT -

GRETCHEN: The next day, Third Street School received a long distance call — very long-distance. This call was from a busy street in Beijing, China.

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY (SOT, on phone): “They said they found our ball. I was like, what? What ball? And the man on the phone explained, you know, your ball. It says your school’s name right here.”

GRETCHEN: Ashley Q. had recorded the longest kick the school had ever seen. And Vince? Well, he didn’t take it so well.

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “I just started whiffing.”

GUS: “Whiffing?”

VINCE: “Everything. Just, missing everything. The next game, you know, the ball would be rolled to me just like usual. Kicked it right back into the pitcher’s hands. Kicked it foul. Missed it entirely.”

GUS: “What about after that game?”

VINCE: [sighs] “You know what’s worse than being picked last?”

GUS: “Not really. I’m picked last a lot.”

VINCE: “Have you ever not been picked at all?”

GUS: “Wow, no. How did that make you feel?”

VINCE: [laughs] “Well, after that, I left the sport.”

- END SOT -

[brooding music]

VINCE (SOT): “I am announcing my retirement from kickball. I will kick no more, forever.”

[brooding music fades]

GRETCHEN: Vince was distraught. Even though he was sure in his decision to leave the sport he loved, he didn’t take the transition well.

GUS: We visited him after school one day — a day he’d missed, we weren’t sure why — and found him in front of the TV, drinking root beer and eating doughnuts. It wasn’t pretty.

GRETCHEN: He kept repeating something, we didn’t know what at first. We tried to ask him to speak more slowly, articulate, enunciate. And then Gus finally figured it out.

GUS: “I was outkicked by an Ashley.” Over and over again. Just...gut punch.

[SFX - EXPLOSION]

- SOT -

GRETCHEN: “So we are...in my bedroom right now. Me, Gus, TJ, everyone. And I just showed them [crash in background] — Guys, what was that?”

TJ: “Sorry. Lost control of the Flubber again.”

GRETCHEN: “Glorp. It’s called glorp.”

TJ: “Yeah, whatever it is, it’s awesome. This should do the trick.”

- END SOT -

GUS: It was supposed to be a science fair project, right?

GRETCHEN: Yes, it was one of my attempts to invent a substance to replace liquid soap. But what I got instead was a bouncy...well...glorp.

GUS: And remind me what the plan was?

GRETCHEN: The plan was to create a diversion and switch out the kickball with the glorp ball. It’s much easier to kick, and it goes a lot farther. We just wanted to give Vince his confidence back, even if we had to bend the truth a little to do it.

GUS: My job was to switch the ball after Mikey and TJ created the diversion, from the kickball to the glorp ball.

[spy music]

- SOT -

MIKEY: “My foot! My foot!”

TJ: “Mikey! Are you okay? Can you play?”

MIKEY: “No! But if I don’t play, you’ll have to forfeit!”

TJ: “I’m sure there’s someone else we can use.”

- END SOT -

[spy music fade]

GRETCHEN: [laughing] Okay, it was a bad plan. It was not the best plan. But it worked.

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT): “What’s this? Vince LaSalle, disgraced kickballer, appears to be coming out of retirement to replace the injured Mikey!”

TJ (SOT, on phone): “I was just trying to tell him, like, ‘If you don’t kick, we’ll lose the game,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, well, get used to it.’ And I go, ‘Well, the only thing that makes you a loser is not trying.’ And it did the trick.”

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT, CONT.): “He’s kicking righty today, maybe a revamped routine to make this try at his career go a little better, and...Oh my! Oh my word! That ball is gone! It’s in the stratosphere! It’s past the stratosphere! Where is that ball! No one knows, but Vince LaSalle has done it! He’s won the game!”

GRETCHEN: Here’s the thing. We all felt incredibly guilty after the fact. Because it was just the glorp ball. It wasn’t Vince. And still, we couldn’t tell him. But then it turned out we didn’t have to tell him.

GUS: I remember this moment so well. I was running back from the bathroom, wondering why the game was over.

GRETCHEN: And we were wondering why you were out of breath. You weren’t the one who had just kicked the ball into parts unknown. But then we learned the reason was...

GUS: I didn’t make the switch. I went to the bathroom, left the glorp ball outside, and when I came back, it was gone.

GRETCHEN: Vince had done it all on his own. His confidence was real.

[SOT - “Vince! Vince! Vince!”]

GRETCHEN: The world’s greatest kickballer was back in business.

[fade SOT]

[theme music]

- SOT -

[phone rings]

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY: “Hello?”

HAROLD STEVENS: “Hey, Principal Prickly, this is Harold Stevens at NASA. Look, I just wanted to reach out and say we won’t be charging you for the damage because this seems like a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”

PRICKLY: “Excuse me? Damage? What did those kids get up to this time?”

STEVENS: “Oh, well, the kickball dent on the space shuttle. It won’t be a problem.”

PRICKLY: “What?”

[click]

- END SOT -

[theme music fades]

Takeaway: I need a Gus and Gretchen podcast YESTERDAY.

The Kid Came Back

Look, everyone. The previous recap was so long, and I don’t want to overshadow it by going too deep into this one. This episode was just...a baby thriller, you know what I mean? All the elements of a creepy story tailor-made for kids, but absolutely no payoff. It was an insult, frankly.

In short, a kid no one has seen before starts following the gang around, and bad things start happening to them. They decide it’s because of the kid, so they tell him to buzz off, and he starts crying. The gang’s takeaway is that, oops, our bad luck wasn’t caused by this kid! And so they go apologize, and then they learn he has other friends anyway. The lesson is not to tell kids to buzz off...or so we thought, until another mysterious girl shows up at the very end and the gang runs away from her immediately so as to not engage. We never learn what’s causing their bad luck.

Just...skip this one. I hope the next one is better and that we’re not rolling down an infinitely long hill. Who haven’t we checked in with in a while? Have we had a TJ-centered episode yet? I’d be fine with that.

Takeaway: I need to tighten up my scriptwriting so I don’t run out of steam before even getting the chance to make fun of a bad episode, lol.

#recess

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wknc881 · 5 years

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Album Review: Dumb - Club Nites

Best Tracks: Club Nites, Cursed, My Condolences, Columbo

FCC Violations: Beef Hits, Some Big Motor Dream

This is probably the most indy album I’ve ever heard in my life! Insert “LOL” anywhere you’d like and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Filled with underground angst and shenanigans intertwined with a few unknown characters that are roasted through a narration-style of vocals, Club Nites is out there in the stratosphere somewhere but I can be sure of one thing: I’ve never heard anything like this before. It’s aggressive, out of the box, covered in a blanket of punk rock, and pulls you in with its weirdness and colorful textures.

‘Club Nites’ - it’s that title track heavy-hitter that starts off the record while basically showing you what to expect in its entirety with short songs just over the two minute mark, in-your-face belligerence while holding the title of definitely not being the music your parents… well, probably grandparents listened to. Yeah, I’m just old enough to have a teenager. Where has the time gone!

Anyways, back to the intro-track. Midway through, the lines “I got punched out dissing whining trading favors for regrets/I get it you’re an artist yeah you’ve got so much to say,” has that airy pretentiousness with a hint of hypocrisy and elitism but maybe that’s what Dumb is going for here: being hipster within the hipster realm and as such, trashing out your own social community in a satirical way. I dig it and if this sample of sound was regurgitated into television, it would be a Netflix original series comedy. Maybe baby Franco could reprise his high schooler counterculture role from 21 Jump Street as a spin-off series.

The bass tracks are superb, especially in ‘Cursed’ and ‘My Condolences’ where the bass keeps a clean ride while holding the fort down so the other instrumentation can glide effortlessly in the chaos. Shelby Vredik is a talented bassist for sure. I mean, you’d have to be to keep the foundation strong in a band that excels in organized mayhem.

There’s even a cowbell! Used in ‘Some Big Motorcity Dream’ as an eight-count in the intro, it kicks in with the gritty, paving the way to an abruptly placed pre chorus with Vredik’s vocal harmony and upstroke guitar chords.

Oh, I forgot, De Mas is sung entirely in Spanish which is just another reason to take this band at more than just its name and musical ambiance. This track is a fun one with fantastic drumming and by gosh a breakdown? Yep, that’s what ended the song, lasting no more than 8 seconds.

Somehow, everything works here for the Canadian four-piece who seem to be experts at blending noise effectively to give the listener a rollercoaster of a ride. It should be known, the band made some noise while playing on the Vancouver independent music scene from 2015 to 2016, releasing three EPs and two albums in that small timeframe. Dumb is a workhorse that more than deserves a look see.

- Justin Capoccia

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

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The week in review:

Raw 10/19 NXT 10/21 NXT UK 10/22 Smackdown 10/23 Hell in a Cell 10/25

Raw:

I’m here to give Alexa credit once more for making me give a shit about the Fiend. I do like his entrance, especially without a live crowd.

What a visual... them standing together hand in hand.

I love that they kept the monitors set on the graphics for this segment. No offense to the audience, but seeing them would’ve ruined this.

Amazing transition from Fiend and Alexa to the next segment/match. Major points.

Still a vicious elimination to Lacey by Natalya.

I intend to take this title match as seriously as wwe has - not within a football field of giving a shit. I know how this entire angle ends anyway (preemptive welcome back, Queen) but let’s watch it through. See how this face turn worked out for Lana.

Asuka really is insanely fast, I’ll give her that.

Great rollup attempt by Lana (shades of Nattie/Alexa), great counter by Asuka into the Asuka Lock, and great job to Lana for grabbing the ropes. Points.

I’m sure this is all rehearsed, but Lana obviously puts in the work. Do I think she’ll ever be a singles champion? Absolutely not, but at least she isn’t complacent.

Is it the tables? Is that what led to Lana turning face?

This was good for Asuka. This was good booking. She didn’t look like a chump giving Lana offense, and she looked both strong and smart post-match. Solid.

By that logic, ShaNia owns NXT’s division as well. Just saying.

Really wish they’d nix the “Mandy” intro.

Stop I never wanna hear Peyton’s theme again, plz.

So they really never did explain why Peyton and Lacey became a thing? Mk. They seem like genuine friends, it’s just too bad they aren’t a compelling tag team in the ring. Would much rather watch Sexy Muscle Friends, ngl.

Hi I like Riott Squad and have no problems with them theoretically being in this match, but why the fuck are they still here lmao. Go to SD.

This better get longer than 10 mins, there are way too many women here for y’all to rob them of time.

It’s nice to see more women give a shit about tag team wrestling/becoming a cohesive unit.

Lacey just cuz you can do a moonsault off the apron, doesn’t mean you should. That was dicey. Fine, but dicey. There’s a reason Charlotte goes up to the top turnbuckle when she does it to the outside (not that I’m suggesting that incredibly high risk spot but I’m js)

Wish Lacey wasn’t so wooden. Wish she was more trusting and flexible like Charlotte.

I’d bet anything Mandy and Dana actually could suplex Nia. Let them try.

Good break up by Shayna. Protect Dana and Mandy’s finisher. Also that was a WICKED knee strike by Mandy.

Everyone’s gonna get a move in now huh. Le sigh.

NICE interrupt again by Shayna, girl with the good timing.

Fair ending. How long was that? 5 mins to the second lmao. Mk, wwe. Mk.

Welp Alexa is officially on Firefly funhouse. Good. Now we get to blur some lines and have a bit more fun with her character.

Highlight: Asuka looking like a dominant champ without squashing Lana

---

NXT:

Rhea Ripley #1 in nxt, these are the facts. She’s literally gone through them all. Throw her up to the MR, lesgo.

Watching her handle Charlotte and Piper is so impressive. Beast.

“Gone against Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler,” so got squashed by Bianca and Shayna lmao. Hey, everyone’s got a role I guess. I remember when Alexa was enhancement talent that did a 450 splash and blew glitter all over the stage.

I don’t understand how Ember was wiped out after doing a mere roll off the ropes. It seems like a work since Jessi didn’t react and continued on as if she scored some offense (she didn’t) but that was a nasty landing on Ember’s lower back. Weird.

One count off an uppercut bahahaha

“You done messed up now,” Ember exclaims, after flipping off a fucking snapmare. I liked her better when she had no personality and just wrestled amazingly.

Is Ember a heel now? She’s acting like a heel. Why is she doing submissions? Why is she talking so much trash? Why is she so arrogant? Not a fan.

A springboard back elbow drop? Intriguing, Jessi. Intriguing. Points.

Jessi was too quick for Ember’s (now slow) setup into her codebreaker out of the corner. I’m gonna watch Charlotte vs Ember from 2019 after this, Ember was a lot quicker and cleaner - also cuz I miss Charlotte.

Yeahhh Ember used Jessi’s hair to pull her head back so she could do a crossface. She’s either a garbage babyface, or a heel.

Welp Dakota just turned babyface. Jeeze she be looking fine too. 10 points.

Dakota should be mad. She bumps like a motherfucker for every person she faces, and she made Ember’s botchy moves look amazing. Sucks she had such a stinker against Io, but there’s no way Ember should be rated higher than Dakota rn.

Interesting to note that Dakota came out on her own, as opposed to bringing - or even sending - Raquel.

Why does Xia have to win? Is there a kf contract that’s riding on her victory? Why is a random ass match against Kacy the biggest match of her career lol

Also this interviewer is gorgeous. Eyebrows on fleek, beautiful eyes and flawless hair.

*The Garganos prepare to Spin the Wheel* No.

Love Kacy’s speed. Always a joy to watch in the midcard.

Oh holy shit Kacy won, I did not see that coming. Where we going with this Xia stuff?

Xia gonna single handedly wreck both Kacy and Kayden?

WHY IS RAQUEL OUT HERE? What the fuck did Kacy and Kayden do to Raquel lmaooo

Commentator said Raquel sees Rhea Ripley in everyone she looks at. I say that’s the weakest explanation ever. Y’all just trying to find any reason to give her screen time, and this ain’t it.

“She’s sending a message to Ripley,” RHEA DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THESE BITCHES. Also she’s like 3x the size of all of them lmao what?

“And next week? At Halloween? Havoc?” Girl stay backstage with your promos.

I don’t know wtf the wheel is, but I absolutely loved that segment with Io.

She’s such a special attraction to me. I miss her when she’s not on, and she’s so under saturated that I never get tired of seeing her.

Highlight: Segment with Io

---

NXT UK:

Man I really like Nina’s theme song.

After seeing last week’s fucking wrist lock marathon, this aggression is such a breath of fresh air. Not really much of a match, as it a brawl... but that’s perfectly fine lol.

Ahh Nina’s a runner? Interesting, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

Not a fan of Amale’s boots with her gear. Pressing stuff, I know.

Lol thought Nina was about to do a dis-arm-her. Man, I miss Becky.

Nina is a bit awkward with her transitions, I’m noticing.

Beautiful landing of the back body drop by Nina. Practically a swan dive.

Amale did such a lackadaisical pin attempt, and then could barely muster the strength to kick out of one. Ma’am isn’t the worst, but with as green as she is, she should be limited to 3 min sprints.

Seems to be a popular complaint I have with UK, they get gassed insanely easy. wwe needs to build a pc over there or something.

Final Act is a really weak finisher, but considering the speed, I will give points for the way Nina holds her opponent’s neck forward. We like to see performers protecting their partners from getting whiplash.

Love Nina’s voice. Love her whole shtick tbh.

She wants Piper? *sigh* okay. Should’ve just done a tournament to determine KLR’s next opponent, but whatever.

Highlight: Nina’s backstage interview

---

Smackdown:

lmfao Bianca’s reaction to being slapped. Ahhhh she’s funny.

Jeeze fucking tossed Zelina across the ring.

oof that speed by Bianca after flipping out of the hurricanrana. Whew.

Bianca straight threw Zelina into the air just to punch her in the throat lmao.

So this match was literally just “watch [Bianca] shine now” aye rep those lyrics, girl.

Confession: sometimes I fangirl over Bayley’s demeanor. She got BDE and you know what? Good for her, good for her.

Points for the chair, Bayley.

“[Sasha is] an ungrateful brat” you know... kind of accurate.

Tbf Bayley, Sasha’s name kind of is bigger than your title, cuz she’s kept herself as an A+ superstar for like 4 years without holding gold. That deserves respect and recognition. That’s a woman keeping solely her name relevant without even being champion. Now in all fairness, I think all 4 of the horsewomen are up to that standing now, but let’s give credit where it’s due.

Sasha deserves to be champion in a meta sense, this is a fact, but man her character is so unlikeable. Like Bayley is a coward and an absolute tool but she still comes off as more genuine. A face turn for Bayley will be so easy. Not asking y’all to rush it wwe, but I’m just saying.

“Just give me the title back and we’ll talk about it,” Bayley says, as if she won’t grab that shit and bolt out of the arena.

Oh that was such a good set up to the spot with Bayley caught upright in the chair. I saw that screenshot months ago, but watching it be set up makes it so much better.

Ma’am I feel like being physically forced and coerced into signing a contract automatically makes it null and void, but hey this is your universe, what do I know.

Vicious - Bayley falling over with a fucking chair wrapped around her neck. Whew what a bump.

“Go help her Cole” LMFAO legit the last person in the company that would come to Bayley’s aid. Good line, Corey. That was a great promo and segment. Mega points.

Highlight: Go home segment for Bayley & Sasha

---

Hell in a Cell:

Kind of a weak video package for this feud, ngl. They didn’t bother with the Raw women’s championship, didn’t bother with 2019, Raw 2016/2017, nxt... Closest we got were a couple 2 second clips/screenshots.

By definition, this feud has to be one of the biggest disappointments in recent memory. It had the potential to blow Becky/Charlotte out of the water, and didn’t even enter the same stratosphere. Shame. This is a perfectly fine feud in a vacuum... until you remember it’s fucking Sasha and Bayley. Okay I’ll stop beating a dead horse.

If Sasha were a real babyface, she’d drop that awful Snoop remix.

Sasha looks amazing. Love the contrast of Sasha wearing white and Bayley wearing black. Gonna miss Bayley’s old gear though.

Love Bayley spray painting 1-0 on the chair, since we all obsessed over Sasha’s shitty record ahead of this match lmao.

This feud just never picked up that mountain of tension Becky and Charlotte had at Evolution I’M SORRY.

Why can’t everyone do a headscissors takedown as fast as Sasha can.

Such an innovative way of utilizing a table and the cell to deliver a meteora. POINTS FOR SASHA *applause*

So I like the concept of Sasha rolling under the table and pushing it up into Bayley, but the landing of the table near Sasha’s head made me uneasy. I like the concept of Sasha rotating her body on the apron before jumping straight into a meteora against the cell, but the way she landed against the LED was awkward. The ideas are there though.

Cool watching Sasha jump from the apron to scale the cell, then back to the apron, then jumping over Bayley onto the floor. She’s like a rabbit. I’m underselling this tbh, like 95% of the women in the company can’t do the things Sasha can do.

OOF at Bayley being dropkicked into the steps. What a landing.

At this point, I don’t even want to see a women’s hiac match unless Sasha’s in it, or at the very least has a hand in producing it. Ugh she’d be an amazing match producer, whew.

Ugly landing through the kendo stick onto the steps by Sasha. That’s a spot that would’ve received an audible gasp from a live crowd.

OOF a sunset flip powerbomb into the fucking cell. oof. rip Bayley.

OOF a sunset flip into the fucking chair. oof. rip Sasha.

Positive on Bayley’s botched kendo stick/tape spot: lends credence to how inexperienced Bayley is with handling weapons in kf, and Bayley did a great job vocally improvising - probably earned herself points backstage. A negative: what a disaster of a spot lmfao. Should’ve had it already created and ready to go beneath the ring, or used a broomstick/crutch for the spot instead. Having people handle tape mid match is stupid. Wasn’t Bayley’s fault, but the crowd would’ve shit all over that lesbireal.

If you’re a specified Sasha fan, you’ll probably deem this the greatest match of Sasha’s career, cuz my god did she look amazing in it (and she actually won) but if you’re not, I’ll tell you, they did not do a good job making Bayley shine at the end of her historic reign imo.

Sasha bout to have a breakdown. Good acting.

This match lacks cohesion. Very spotty, but most of the spots are fucking incredible, so it gets a pass.

I like the ladder on the chairs.

Sasha jumping off the set up ladder to do a meteora in the corner was nice. Sasha using a fucking Bayley to Belly onto the ladder was beautiful.

Sasha looking like she wants to cry. Man she’s amazing.

BEAUTIFUL counter out of the Bayley to Belly by Sasha; dropped Bayley into the chair to set up her Bank Statement inside the chair.

Mega points for that single chair being the center of their entire feud, as the rivalry began and ended with that chair. Bravo there.

That’s it, Bayley’s reign is finally over. This match’s review was hella long, but deservedly so. Extremely happy for Sasha. Took her 4 years on the MR giving people banger after banger before wwe trusted her with a legitimate title reign, but we’ve finally made it.

Highlight(s): Both sunset flips by Bayley & Sasha against the chair & cell, respectively

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*hiac blew everything else out of the water by default thanks to Bayley vs Sasha, but both Raw & SD were very enjoyable to me this week as well.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#sasha banks

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