#i still have quite a bit of money saved from pell grants / student loans etc. and i pay for the internet & gas / electric

[celestefem]

i want to feel productive, but literally having a job is like the least productive thing you could do.

in retail / food service positions, there’s nothing to take pride in — you’re told to just do things as fast as possible. in our over saturated culture of extreme worker exploitation, selling art and skilled crafts would require you to charge more than most people would be willing (or able) to pay.

on top of all of this, you’re required to market yourself as a product, as generic, inoffensive, and asskissy as possible.

#personal #capitalism #screaming crying starting a fiverr to sell graphic designs and other random little pieces of bullshit #because my irl job applications aren’t biting #i still have quite a bit of money saved from pell grants / student loans etc. and i pay for the internet & gas / electric #and we alternate groceries and takeout so i’m not like. that much of a mooch. i think at least #aaah… i just don’t know what to do. i don’t have an ‘end goal’ planned for my life so i can’t take the ‘first step’ #i’m still just mentally and emotionally fucked — perpetually exhausted; random panic attacks; overthinking nature… #these things just aren’t very conducive to gainful employment