#i think its just bc they feel so performative i feel like i'm convincing everyone i'm Okay and Fine that talking shit and fucking after

[hikeyzz]

ok literally so boring to come home after a holiday alone like i wanna talk shit about the weird things said while also unbuckling their belt and telling them how good they look all dressed up ughH

#god even a fuckbuddy roommate #there's something about family gatherings i always wanna talk shit and fuck after #i think its just bc they feel so performative i feel like i'm convincing everyone i'm Okay and Fine that talking shit and fucking after #is so relieving #it's like the first drink after a shift #or a smoke after you fck #idk i dont smoke cigs but i imagine based on my love of cannabis #anyways sorry before i ramble #hikey

[sexycornenthusiast]

Do you have any other Regina headcannons?

This was originally meant to be its own post but I would feel bad giving a non-answer to an ask twice in a row, so I present!

Regina George headcanons part 2

Because you guys liked the first one so much

Very selective about who she'll accept physical affection from.

Gets really into health food. She's got her little meticulously packed lunchbox with the little compartments which she fills with the most bizarre combination of vegetables you've ever seen.

(she tries to convince her friends that kale is good actually and they tolerate it bc "at least she's eating")

Hates being taken care of because it makes her feel helpless.

My number one red flag is that I think Regina would like kids. They amuse her. Their typical brand of blunt honesty speaks to her.

That being said she absolutely does NOT know how to interact with children. Catch her talking to a one year old like they're just a small adult because she's a freak.

Her bad relationship with her mother isn't entirely her fault

Regardless of whether I'm shipping them with other people I think she and Cady are close in every universe. Cady is the one person who has quite literally walked a mile in her shoes and she grows to really value that kind of deep understanding after a lifetime of performance.

The more nervous she is about something, the more dressed up she gets for it.

SEVERE perfectionist. Holds herself to an impossibly high standard.

(also tries to hold everyone else to this standard pre-bus. results vary)

Does not comprehend how anyone could love her without wanting to get something out of it. Interpersonal relationships are a series of transactions to her.

If someone told her they loved her, her immediate response would be "Why?".

#mean girls #mean girls musical #mean girls 2024 #regina george #mean girls headcanons #the void screams back

[wovenvessel]

Been asking around to see everyone’s fav bmc songs. So: I wanna know what’s your favorite! Full rant and everything!! >:)

oh em gee. AAHHH OKAY >:DD

Okay it's genuinely so hard to pick just one bc I really really like every song from both of the albums but AHHH if I had to choose one I think I'd gotta say...

A guy that I'd kinda be into

FOR LIKE SO MANY REASONS SO GET READY TO HEAR ME RANT.

Okay so this is specific to Broadway but that fact the scene that plays right before that song is the bowling alley performance art scene ;3;

But okay anyways the fact that in both versions Jeremy tells her he can ask him anything (and I KNOW that's the squip feeding him a line) but just the way those words make a doubtful a disheartened Christine feel comfortable enough to launch into song just--AHHHGHSJNSB

okay but anyways the song!! I LOVE THE INSTRUMENTALS SO SO MUCH.  IDK WHAT INSTRUMENTS ARE PLAYING BUT AHGGG in both versions they are just so brain scratching.

THE WAY CHRISTINE SINGS JEREMY'S NAME MAKES ME MELT.

Jeremy's imagination taking over more and more!! Like the pink hearts showing up AHH

Christine's whole mannerisms during this whole song AHHHH.  Jeremy asking the squip if she's talking about him and the squips smugness "of course she is". The swell of the music when that line "i dont always relate to other people my age, except when I'm on the stage. There are so many changes that I'm going through" HDVSUBFJSJS first of all the line is a little to relatable Christine. And then when she says "I guess there's a part of me that wants too!" And THE CHIMES THAT PLAY AFTERWARD!!?! AND THEN JEREMYS IMAGINATION AND FEELINGS REALLY KICKS IN when like the ensemble start vocalizing in a way I swear is supposed to mimic his heart rate and then the harmonizing!!

And then Christine let's herself go on and on with her "i guess a part of me's" and omg whats happening in the scene!!! When she grabs his hand and swings it up and creates like a bridge the hearts cross through!! And then they get pushed together AND THEN THEY LIKE DO THAT AWKWARD SLOW DANCE MOVEMENT as the music continues to swell and the hearts circle around the two AND THEN JEREMY LIFTS HER UP?!!?! AHHHHHH I especially like that in the Broadway version it doesn't stop abruptly so it just flows so nicely.

AND THEN THE ENDING OF THE SONG. I literally think its the best. After ALL OF THAT after convincing the audience/listener that Christine is talking about Jeremy. And the squips stupid smug little face while Christine is admitting who this guy is only for her to say THAT IT'S JAKE. it's so funny and you can pinpoint the exact moment Jeremy's heartbreaks in half >3<. Its so funny watching first time listeners shock when she doesn't say Jeremy's name.

A guy id kinda be into is a song I have loved so consistently and it's just super sweet and makes me wanna dance. Christine's energy is just so infectious and Jeremy pining for her during the whole song AHKHNGNDJ.

Tysm for asking :3c I love the music

#be more chill #bmc #be more chill musical #bmc ramblings #christine canigula #jeremy heere #stagedorks

[scripted-downfall]

*RISES FROM THE DEAD* OMG HI ITS RAMBLING ANON I'M BACK!

OK so I have to ask... Why is Jensen and Jared MaxiPadalecki's PR teams so adamant about trying to convince everyone that they still are like brothers when they're clearly not? And trust me, it SHOWS. They can honestly just say "Yeah we don't hang anymore." And I'm sure there will be some fans (like us) who will not be surprised. Friends drift apart, it happens. It's not the end of the world. Tho we all know why J2 isn't not a thing anymore and it's bc of Jared's abysmal behavior. Matter of fact, notice how anybody who gets close to Jared drifts off and away from him after a period of time except for a handful of people...

Hello!  Welcome back :)  I’ve been off Tumblr — or at least spotty — for a bit now myself, so good timing on your return!

Yeah, I don’t really know.  I mean, I confess that I don’t spend much time on the real-life bits of Supernatural (or any show) and that most of what I hear stems from those around me — especially my closest fandom friend… whose name I’m not dropping as a line of defense against stan harassment (those who spend much time on my profile can probably guess who I mean though) — but J2 really doesn’t come across as genuine friendship, much less brotherhood.  I’ve never had much taste for bts stuff, and I’ve lost most of the little I did have.  

I have, however, seen some of their con photos, conversations, etc, and those don’t seem very natural; similarly, much of what I hear about their interactions in general is very… performative?  I guess?  I’d expect much more closeness if they were actually friends.  The most recent example is from that string of show renewals and cancellations: if I were close friends with someone who just got big news like that — whether positive or negative — I’d respond to that with either congratulations or commiserations well-nigh immediately.  (I’d certainly not wait almost a week — that is, from 11 May to 16 May — before posting a save-the-show hashtag.  Maybe that’s just me.)  And nor is this the only example of the performative closeness, natural distance to which I refer, so the argument that “eh, they’re busy, it doesn’t mean anything” doesn’t hold much water long-term, even if it’s accurate in this particular case.

Pragmatically, I’d wager that the brother dynamic is an attempt to play to the show’s perceived fanbase, and that’s why the bts brotherhood is being played up.  It doesn’t make much sense to me — from what I’ve seen, it feels like most of the fandom is fractured between them anyway; I recognize that this is only my experience and not true in its entirety, but I only ever run into people who love Jared and those who hate him, and there’s rarely a middle ground — but that’s the impression I’ve gotten from the PR.

I honestly think it’s backfiring though.  I mean, it just comes across as fake and duplicitous, and I feel like they should both just cut their losses and, as you described it, drift apart.  It happens, and I tend to feel that trying to avoid that just makes things worse for all involved.  (And yeah, I certainly cannot defend JarPad’s actions and I don’t even know him/have any stake in it, to the point that I can just ignore him for the most part; I can’t imagine having to deal with him in close-quarters like a “brotherhood”, friendship, or even just as colleagues.)

Anyway… I feel like I’m rambling at this point, so I’ll wrap it up… It was good to hear from you again, and thanks for the ask!  I hope this answer was decent enough, and all the best until next time!

However, before I completely wrap up, a message to any stan who might be reading this… I recognize that much of the above is freely admitted to be speculation.  All of those statements are marked as such.  Don’t come at me about stuff I outright admitted myself.  I also recognize that I’m posting this and not being the kindest person ever to JarPad.  This is because I dislike him.  You are not going to change my mind with threats or slurs.  You are definitely not going to change my mind by cowering behind the anonymous ask feature.  I will report anon asks of this nature if I have to.  Cheers :)

#anti jared padalecki #anti jared #anti jarpad #stans dni #jared stans dni #i'd say please dni but i don't feel like being that polite #i lost my patience around threat number 5 #actually wait. stans can interact. but only to read the last paragraph and then leave me tf alone #i did not invite you here you vampires. you may not cross the freaking threshold #i always come when you call (sd)

[goddessofwaifus]

I posted 388 times in 2022

102 posts created (26%)

286 posts reblogged (74%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@senksless

@10jo10ge

@ademigodwannabe

@senkus-mad-scientist

@fanboyistransboy

I tagged 33 of my posts in 2022

#senku ishigami - 8 posts

#self ship - 5 posts

#dr. stone - 5 posts

#dr stone - 5 posts

#ishigami senku - 5 posts

#dcst senku - 4 posts

#self insert - 3 posts

#f/o community - 3 posts

#my art - 3 posts

#dr stone fanart - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 51 characters

#killed his friend by freezing him in a refrigerator

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

senku ace passing up ruri?! No straight man would pass that up as a hetero

Exactly! He's shown no interest in romance as well as sex. He might have thrown some glances Gen's way but that's as far as it goes.

4 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#4

hello good morning/afternoon/night fellow creator. im going around conducting quick random interviews bc i am feeling curious today again!

what be on your mind today? 🎤

please have a great one <3 (also dont feel obligated to answer if you dont feel like it <3)

Senku all day everyday 💕💕

I'm really happy you dropped an ask on my blog! I love your work so much 😍😍

Have a great rest of your day/ afternoon/ night!

4 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Dogs or cats?

Both is good

4 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#2

Haluuuu mother tis I (mini) only a little different 🖤

Mini?! Whaaa? What happened to your other blogs?

7 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Beerus with a warrior healer s/o?

Ooh this is outside my usual s/o writing but I'll take a shot at this. Sorry if it's bad.

Beerus with a warrior healer s/o

You do a bit of fighting and you can heal. You're a jack of all trades!

Very useful for when any of the Z fighters gets injured in battle and needs back up

At first, you were just a healer on the sidelines with Bulma and the others,but that changed rq after the showdown with Kid Buu.

You wanted to do more than just sit there helpless while everyone around you was either killed or turned into food by the pink menace.

You wanted to fight alongside your allies and help them so you got training to help Goku and the other fighters when they were dropping like flies in combat

You're good at both offense and defense on the battlefield. Good for you being ambidextrous ✨✨

A destroyer threatening your very livelihood? Not on your watch

Your performance definitely peaked the god's interest when he saw how good you were at fighting

You can heal too? *Surprised Pikachu*

How can you fight AND heal??

Were you trained by the Kais?

Are you a Kai disguised as a human?

Nahhh you're just dual wielding 💅✨

He definitely wants to know more

Why do you put yourself in danger by fighting alongside the Z fighters?

Healing is your strong suit and it would be a shame for your team to lose its best healer

Beerus respects you and is impressed by your strength and ability to wield healing and embody a warrior's spirit

He also respects your reason for wanting to also fight to be more helpful but hopes you'll be careful against enemies

What are you doing in his domain? Training to better hone your combat style and defense? Well hopefully you aren't as loud as the saiyans when you train. Not that he would mind ...

Just what other skills do you have on your belt?! You can cook,clean,fight,heal. Maybe with some training from the Supreme Kai, you could even gain the ability to create.

He definitely thinks you're one of the fallen Supreme Kais from the realm of the Kais reincarnated as a human and you will not convince him otherwise

But maybe that's not a bad thing

You've got the potential

You two got pretty close during your training on his planet with Goku and Vegeta

One would say you two were inseparable

He likes watching you train and when Whis gave him the ok to see how much you improved

Sorry Goku, Beerus found a new fighting partner and will not be rematching you anytime soon

See the full post

27 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

fine line - a close reading

gonna cry bc i’m at the end, gonna cry bc it’s fine line.

(x x x)

want to give the same disclaimer as with lights up: this song is so layered, so multi-faceted, that i could never hope to give an exhaustive analysis. due to its vagueness and openness for interpretation, i assume that everyone, just like me, has their own ideas about it and has attached importance to it in ways that no one else’s words can or should alter. this song means the world to me for reasons that aren’t necessarily in this post, and that’s how it is with art that touches us deeply. i’ve tried my best to pull it apart, lay it bare, spread it open, if you will, so it’s almost as free as it can be for you all to form your own opinion on it. in the synthesis i will make my own conclusions, but feel free to ignore that if yours are totally different. i’m just one set of brain and heart taking in fine line and projecting whatever i think is right onto it. alright, let’s go

fine line, track 12

sung in falsetto

live version at the form: first verse not sung in falsetto - after first chorus goes into falsetto - like “thinking of her” has summoned her

live version at the form: first verse not sung in falsetto - after first chorus goes into falsetto - like “thinking of her” has summoned her

Put a price on emotion

pouring emotions into the art you create: how much is genuine / how much do you show - line between being authentic to your audience and giving away too much, wanting to keep things to yourself and not feeling truthful with what you’ve written

exploits of the industry: lay your soul bare - or the exact opposite, some pretend emotion - to score that hit

I'm looking for something to buy

cynical. emotions aren’t genuine, right? where can i go buy some?

～ lights up themes. fake life, industry, being a sell-out

You've got my devotion

But man, I can hate you sometimes

“you” = career, music, Harry Styles™. devoted to the craft, to the job, all the ups and downs of it, despite the hardships it brings 

“man” is deliberate: can be seen as an offhand interjection, like “man, that’s rough”, but nothing is casually placed in this song. “man” is: The Man, the heads in the industry, the people pulling the strings. The man in Harry, the man he’s been in the media all these years, the part he’s played/had to play, the man that’s in him

⟶ “hate you”: hate for industry shit, self-hate created by having to play pretend (～ only angel analysis, the persona of the Bukowski womaniser)

“sometimes” - it’s not fucked up all the time

“you” could also be a lover, but the sudden “hate” there then would be for that person, which is absent in any other song about them, doesn’t make any sense

I don't want to fight you

And I don't want to sleep in the dirt

like there’s a choice to me made, but he doesn’t want to make it: either I fight this “you” or I sleep in the dirt

“you” as the industry: if he doesn’t fight them, he might end up being a beggar, lose all his self-worth bc he gave in to everything they asked/told him to do

“you” as himself: fight your instincts, part of who you are/the persona. if he doesn’t fight to figure himself out, though, he fears he’ll also lose

“sleep in the dirt” as a sense of rejection, as well

We'll get the drinks in

So I'll get to thinking of her

drinks to cope - falling, only angel, from the dining table - or to be braver and confront emotions better - tbsl

who is “we”? who is “her”?

narrative of “you” as “lover” further disproven: if “I” and the lover get together over drinks and “I” starts thinking of “her”?

⟷ “her” could be the lover, but then who is “you”? the industry? some other person, besides that lover, harry is devoted to? multiple lovers, all of a sudden? no.

⟶ “I” and “you” are all harry, that get to thinking of “her” because she is in daydreams with him. the narrative that harry is fighting a part of him, the persona he has (had) to play bc of industry limits, makes most sense. that persona is within him now, and part of his work, but all of him, “we”, is begging to come into the light - of which she is a huge part

We'll be a fine line

balancing act. let everything coexist but pay attention that those lines don’t get crossed the wrong way. what we are, what i am, is a fine line between what makes us go under and what lets us thrive

we will be: determination to fulfil this prophecy, statement of fact “we always will be”

“we’ll be a fine line”: other way of interpreting it is that on both sides of that line is what entails “we”, all that is harry. what merges on that fine line is where it’s just right, when harry is fully himself in every way

“fine line” can also be an echo of criticism, bigotry, in the style of: it’s a fine line between being simply flamboyant and queer, between dressing like that and people thinking you’re a transvestite or summat (cause we wouldn’t want that, now, would we) - “we’ll be a fine line” could be owning all of it. putting himself in the middle of all those messy lines, as someone queer without a category

Test of my patience

patience with himself - kindness to self - took a long time to figure shit out and it was a challenge

waiting for change: industry and its allowances/openness

There's things that we'll never know

my favorite line

“we” = harry / harry and company / us in general, all of us listening 

～ tpwk “i don’t need all the answers”: deep sense of acceptance

peace to be found in accepting this!!

You sunshine, you temptress

“sunshine” - as in all the love songs (blue skies, sunflowers, summer days…): lover - possible that there are multiple “you”s in this song?

sunshine could ofc also be directed at the temptress, still

female “temptress” - “i’ll get to thinking of her” - she - it’s tempting for harry to think of her all the time, to lose himself in the “her” in him

other interpretation for “temptress”: woman he knows with negative influence in his life - resemblance to woman “you flower, you feast”, so echo of Bukowski ～ only angel, kiwi (my sunshine, my love, who is involved with this temptress…)

My hand’s at risk, I fold

⟷ tpwk “dropping into the deep end”

not showing his cards just yet / forfeits

anxious to show all of him, to take the chance, with all the risks and consequences involved

Crisp trepidation

I’ll try to shake this soon

nervousness, anxiety - about (not) taking (enough) chances, (not) laying himself bare (release of the album that reveals much more than before)

“crisp” fresh, this feeling is unfamiliar - change is coming “soon”

sense of agency: I can get rid of this feeling by my own volition and make these changes - hesitant, insecure: “try”

wants to be braver. he’s not going back, but still needs to calmly coax himself further and further into the light, out into the open (“we’ll be alright”)

Spreading you open

Is the only way of knowing you

(can anyone else hear “spread thin” like a whisper under “spreading”? or am i imagining things.)

“you” is back - the only way of knowing “you” is to spread them open - the physical

to spread someone open - very literal, don’t need to paint the picture, or to lay bare, to lay it all out 

⟶ “you” as himself - the only way of knowing who i am is by doing this: writing this album, performing these songs, letting others listen in and form their own interpretations, let this world grow where i’m laid bare and OPEN and exist as this person who has issues, who is angry, who doesn’t know who he is a lot of the time, but is still so happy to be here - let it spread and let it all circle back to me so i can grow deeper into myself

We'll be a fine line

We'll be alright

“we” = h & self, h & lover, h & fans

collectiveness from tpwk

(notes on a piano sounding like drops, like he’s emerged from the water and dripping dry)

SYNTHESIS

Everything about this song is plural. Personal pronouns are all over the place. I, you, her, we. The sound is incredibly layered, with Harry’s own voice echoing through its verses like he’s singing to himself in an empty cave. Meanings can be attached to every word like it’s a wax tablet used too many times. What Harry has said in interviews for once holds pretty true to the actual meaning, in my opinion. 

“It felt like it described to me the process of making it and how the album felt in terms of the different kinds of songs on it.” (Capital FM)

This can mean a lot of things, and I think it means all of the things, of course. It means Fine Line is a summary of all of his emotions he visited on the album, of the things he’s laid bare. And it means that the actual process was also described, as one that can be frustrating and challenging, with added industry shit. 

Harry has expressed straightforward gratefulness to his label for "leaving (him) alone” while making the album and that speaks volumes. This time, he had the chance to make his art without the constant interference of a label, which meant he could weave in criticism as well. “Put a price on emotion” is first and foremost a critique on the industry. It’s the first line of the song, setting the tone for the interpretation of this song is about the risks I took while making this album. It involves criticism on an industry that creates such an atmosphere that only a certain type of music and artist breaks through or can be successful, that limits people in their personal expression. Convinces them that it’s better that way. That it’s better to hide who they love because the general public won’t accept them. That it’s better to create a song about a fake emotion than be honest. Harry loves writing songs and being on stage, but it’s taken a while for him to be fully comfortable there as a solo artist and bloom into the person that could make Fine Line. He loves his career, but it’s also limited his freedom in ways beyond our comprehension, and it’s exploited him to the point where he didn’t know who he was, in ways that have clearly taken a toll on his mental wellbeing. To a point where he finishes this album reassuring himself, most of all, that everything will be alright.

That process of making Fine Line obviously includes Harry confronting emotions he hadn’t before. He has stated that he experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows while making it. There are things he hates, he was fighting but doesn’t want to (anymore), uncertainties he was trying to figure out but had to accept he couldn’t, risks he still doesn’t know he can take without shaking. At the centre of it all is this sense of “knowing you.” The different personal pronouns in the song paint a fractured picture, which is ultimately deliberate. That the “you” Harry is devoted to and can hate sometimes doesn’t line up with “her,” that the end focus does seem to be this “you” that is mentioned in the same breath as “man” and “temptress,” forming the “we” together with “I”. 

After having songs like Lights Up, She, Falling and even TPWK, one of the central themes on the album has undoubtedly been self-discovery, in all its pain and glory. There are no female pronouns on the album besides, obviously, in She, and then here, in Fine Line. She is about a man living with a woman “just in his head”, who “sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend.” It is very clearly a trans narrative, the story of someone struggling to put into words what they’re experiencing in terms of gender. To a point that they fantasise about running away. Fine Line brings the ideas of knowing what it all means, which Lights Up kicks off (“do you know who you are?”), Falling deepens (“what am I now?”) and Treat People With Kindness turns on its head (“I don’t need all the answers”), together. Harry is still doubtful, and the questions asked earlier in the album haven’t disappeared, but he has accepted that “some things we’ll never know.” His aim, however, is still “knowing you.” 

To have Fine Line, as the summary of these emotions of self-growth and self-discovery, echo that one female pronoun, speaks volumes. It is a direct reference to She, to that story about gender. “Her” in this song refers to “she (who) lives in daydreams with (him).” The one who still only fully comes out when they’ve had a drink. The one he’s still working to include in who he is, as he tries to figure out who he is, all of it. The song where he sings in falsetto, just like on Fine Line. Of which he sang the first verse an octave lower live at the forum, switching between those voices, those perspectives. That’s also why “you” in this song is also Harry to me. We get this fractured sense of self, this “I” and “you” conversing over a drink, this “you” Harry is devoted to and wants to figure out. “You” and “I” form “we” and all of them are Harry. The lines are blurry on purpose, there is no way to figure out where “you” ends and “I” begins. 

“You sunshine, you temptress” is the most enigmatic line in that respect, and to me blurs those lines even more between the pronouns. “You” is suddenly also identified by a female noun. And no this isn’t about some kind of love triangle. “Sunshine” aligns with all the odes to his lover in the rest of the album. So what does that mean? That there are multiple “you”s in this song, meaning that Harry is addressing both his lover and a temptress? So “her” he’ll get to thinking of, the only other female pronoun used in the song, is identified as a temptress, but tempting to do what? To take risks? And no I won’t forget the “man, I can hate you sometimes,” where "man” is not a casual interjection but an identifier of “you.” 

Or is it an echo of “the light” from Golden’s “bring me back to the light” and Light’s Up’s “step into the light”? So that the “sunshine” symbolises being in the clear, being out of the darkness running through his heart, the darkness caused by not knowing who you are. “You sunshine,” you beacon of light. “You temptress,” risk-taker and source of anxiety. You, one I need to spread open to figure out, to know about, source of happiness and despair, one I’m devoted to but also hate. You, man, you, temptress. You there, in the mirror looking back at me. 

All of you, and myself included, we’ll be a fine line. And we’ll be alright.

This song is about all of that. The self in art, the self on its own, the other, the journey, the chances, the fears, the passion. Hope. Reassurance. Confidence. And, most importantly, that everything will be alright in the end.

x

read all my lyric analyses here

#lzjrkfhlejrhgfzjehgrfjhaegrfjhger #i'm done #it's done #this is it #did i have to take breaks to get through this? yes #did i write this with tears in my eyes at times? yes #very much yes #this song.............. oh this song #will i fret and fret wondering if i did it justice? permanently #it means so much to me and it literally makes barely any sense #it's so fucking beautiful #we can try to make sense of it but it's impossible #as it should be #wow #cause of death: fine line #fine line analysis #my post #lyric analysis #gaaaahhhhhh #harry what you do to me #long post

[voxofthevoid]

Hii. Can i share an irrelevant yet interesting thing i observed? On twitter, mcu stans and writers & artists are segregated bc they mostly clash. Anyway, lots of stans see steve as bottom sometimes to the point of feminization, while for writers its the other way around-they do it w/ bucky. I have no problem either way but I'm just wondering why that is. Any thots? Feel free to ignore this hahaha its stupid but im really curious

Shit. Just realized how my ask abt the twitter stans + writers sounded. The clash has nothing to do w/ sex positions btw. Mostly mcu twt criticizes the "problematic content" & "fetishization". The most recent one I can think of is bucky being drawn in feminine clothes. Which is weird bc the way they talk about steve isnt different? Im just confused why theyre against bucky being seen that way. Sorry for bothering u!! Just wanted to clear that up. Pls ignore 😭 

---

Hi, anon! It’s not a stupid question at all, I understand the confusion about some fandom behaviors. Gods know I’ve got it too. I do have thoughts (and also thots but the pandemic has separated me from them).

So disclaimer: I avoid twitter like the plague, so I’m going by only what you've described, which is that there are two groups who don’t get along and both display the same behavior but one thinks the other is problematic for that behavior.

Now, this specific instance might be alien to me but the general gist of it is sadly very familiar.

(Also, I’m gonna be using ‘you’ in the general sense a lot in this. I’m not accusing you of anything described here, nonnie)

First of all, whenever fandom discussions segue into accusations of "problematic content" and "fetishization", you can stop unpacking and throw away the whole damn suitcase. In this particular case, if one side is saying that feminizing Bucky is fetishizing (how the fuckst even) while they themselves feminize Steve, then they’re hypocrites who’re clearly far less subtle about their double standards than most people who engage in this sort of wank.

As for why they act this way - from what I’ve generally observed, there’s a trend in fandom where it’s no longer enough to simply like or dislike something. You have to do it for woke reasons and moreover, you have to go out of your way to convince other people to also like/dislike it. This is baffling to me. I understand finding fandom friends who share your tastes. Common ground is fun, even - especially - for venting/bitching purposes. But those who go “my way or the highway” for all of fandom make zero sense. Not everyone will agree with your character interpretations and your ships and your likes and your dislikes. We’re all different people looking for different things from fandom.

For the most part, this is an implicit understanding in fan interactions, but for a while, things have been changing. There’s a lot of performative vitriol from certain sects of fans. Quite a few people act like your tastes in fiction define you as a person.

No. It doesn’t. If you hate Natasha, you’re not a misogynist. If you think Stucky is boring, you’re not a homophobe.

And to use the example you cited, drawing Bucky in feminine clothes doesn’t make you a fetishizer or a transphobe or whatever hot-button word people like to throw around when men are drawn in feminine ways. Drawing Steve that way also doesn’t make you any of these things.

But for a lot of folks, it’s not enough to simply say “yeah, I hate Bucky in a dress but I love Steve in one.” You have to do mental gymnastics to show why Bucky in a dress is fetishizing (once again, fetishizing  what) while Steve in a dress is a-okay. It doesn’t make much sense, as evidenced by your confusion, anon.

I got a little sidetracked but yeah, sounds like that's why what you’re describing happens. Basically, individual tastes are complex and can’t always be easily explained, but toxic fandom pockets have it made it so that these tastes can’t be expressed unless they’re accompanied by the ‘right reasons.’

That’s my two cents at least. Hope it helped? Feel free to drop by again if you wanna ask anything else <3

#anon #i love my anons #vox has opinions

[haknew]

hello!! just thought I'd stop by and say thank u for making content for us!! your little creations help make my day go by a little better :) also I thought I should ask whats your favorite thing about each tbz members if you dont mind? I'm in the mood to adore these boys more! 💞🥰

ahhhh i’m glad i’m able to brighten someone’s day with my content ! that’s all i could ask for ^~^ hmm i might end up writing an essay so here goes:

(also i might mention two things for some just bc 1 is more about them as a person in general and the second thing is about them as performers!)

sangyeon - for sangyeon, it might be a bit on the nose but i really think my favorite thing about him is his leadership, esp when oneus were collabing with tbz on rtk, he has really good people skills and knows how to talk through and guide conversations and group dynamics !

jacob - this is a bit,,, tough ,,, as a performer jacob is a good all-rounder, i absolutely adore his vocals and his dancing and i think he’s one of the strongest members in both categories... in general terms though, my favorite thing really is what everyone probably said too which is how kind, considerate, and angelic he is... i know he said he likes keeping his own problems to himself because he doesn’t want to burden anyone else with it, but then he goes around trying to take a little of everyone else’s problems to try and make them feel better,,, he really loves and cares about everyone around him;;; and he never really complains or take it out on anyone else and i just- ... yea i’m love he :((

younghoon - i think my favorite thing about younghoon is how unique (?) / eccentric he is,,, he tends to think very divergently / outside-of-the-box and considers stuff i never would have even dreamed of coming up with,,, and he’s just proud and unapologetic about it too ! he’s silly but bright and i think that’s the really cool thing about him :))

hyunjae - my fav thing about hyunjae is his tendency for acts of service ...? if that makes sense,,, he uses actions to express things just as much as his words ;;; like he did this vlive with haknyeon once where he adjusted the camera to include hak even tho it wasn’t intended to be a two person vlive anyway, or on chanhee’s bday vlive where he told off bbangkyu for blocking chanhee,,, it’s really just how much he tires his best to take care of others even when he’s jokingly teasing them despite it !

juyeon - my fav thing about juyeon is his ... what i’d call a perfect combination of self confidence and humbleness haha,,, he knows his strong points and he knows how to utilize them best and to his advantage but he never lets it inflate his ego bc that’s just how down-to-earth he is :,,))) you can kind of tell in the way the other members always prank him but he’s just so trusting of the people around him, he never shows off without immediately getting a bit shy after and i think that’s very admirable and wholesome of him :,)

kevin - HHHH okay let’s see... my favorite superficial thing about kevin is this one smile he has where,,, when someone says something he finds funny or he’s talking to fans and he smiles so wide it looks like his cheekies are about to burst from how happy he is and ..... yea ok i’m- going to say something serious now,,, this is also from his gen z interview video but i think the thing that i love the most about kevin is just how aware he is... of those around him,,, during mafia games for example, he’s always peace keeping and giving members the chance to defend themselves and he’s always trying his best to adjust his own behavior to fit in with what he thinks other people want ;;;; and i just,,, really adore him for that,,, i hope he can feel comfy and unapologetically himself too of course, and i think he is when he’s drawing and being artistically active and so i’m just *heart eyes* i guess *sigh* 

chanhee - hands down my favorite thing about chanhee as a performer is his voice... i talk about this a lot bc i was a choir kid for 4 years but, chanhee is a spectacular vocalist, and his voice is so distinctive too,,, falsetto king, he’s got this light airy / breathy timbre and it’s so beautiful to me ;;;; and his. adlibs!!!!! as a person... this is actually really difficult for me to put into words bc i just want to say my fav thing about chanhee is he’s tinie LOL but what i mean by that is,,, he’s got this,,, delicate sensitivity ? idk i feel like we’re similar in many ways which is probably my fav thing about him,,, he clings to the other members despite their teasing but he always tries his best to avoid embarrassing stuff and he’s introverted ... ok yea please give me one pass i cannot pick just one fav thing about chanhee i am a mess

changmin - hmm i think my favorite thing about changmin is just how genuine he is,,, i think he likes to just... talk ! about anything he wants which is why he goes on vlive so often, and i’ve noticed he is pretty straightforward and says stuff directly ! it’s not a bad thing i admire him a lot for it, actually, he really just talks with so much open honesty about how he feels and what he thinks that it’s almost second nature to him... i really love just listening to him talk about anything honestly his vlives are like having 3am conversations over the phone with your best friend... that kind of feeling 

haknyeon - THIS IS THE HARDEST T^T i love so many things about haknyeon... ok as a performer, my favorite thing about haknyeon is how adaptable he is and how he completely (?) absorbs a concept,,, like it doesn’t matter if it’s cute like keeper or darker like reveal,,, he fully embodies whatever concept it is almost to the point you would never guess how he is irl,,, i really think he’d make a great actor just bc his stage presence is so powerful and convincing and his facial expressions are killer... as a person,,, i think my favorite thing is something i’ve talked about before but he has this natural wonderment in his worldview... i think it’s his confidence like he talked about in the generation z video but he treats everything as something new he can learn from,,, he gets so so excited over the smallest things and is easily intrigued by anything and everything around him and he treats it all as a personal challenge, like if he tried hard enough he could do literally anything  (i compare him to a cat going outside of its house for the first time and getting to see a butterfly that kind of vibe ;;;;)

sunwoo - my favorite thing about sunwoo is how caring he is ? i’m not sure a lot of people catch it but despite his endless clowning and bullying of the other members, he’s also always one of the first members to praise them or shower them in compliments. he’s also so whipped for all of them T-T he (mostly) always laughs at any of their jokes, dumb as they may be, or agrees with whatever they’re saying, the teasing and shading is all a front almost :,)) it’s really cute of him

eric - my favorite thing about eric is his pure earnest enthusiasm for everything,,, i know all the tbz members work their hardest at everything they do as performers, but eric,,, he tries his hardest and then 54396 times more,,, i think it comes from him being the youngest member maybe, but he works so hard at anything and everything, may it be games or performing... he just acts as if he’s always trying to prove something, our energy eric T^T ! he never lets up even for a second and i adore him so much for that, goofball that he may be !

#i wrote A HUGE ESSAY read under the keep reading cut ! #i think if you didn't know who i biased #you could take one look at this ask and figure it out LMFAO #anon #asks #not tbz #jess.replies #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WROTE SO MUCH T-T HH

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Hi! I'm sorry this might be a little strange but I remember you said you've done some theatre and I really love the setting. I wondered if you'd be up for a LesMis theatre AU sickfic? I love the Ida of E nearly losing his voice and R forcing tea on him to get through the show. Then E crashing when it's over and R taking him home and E feeling like he late every one down and R having done of it. Thank you sweetie ❤️

(Strange?! This is not strange at all anon I lowkey wanted to write this and I’m so glad I have the excuse to lmao..theatre au les mis is my fav and the multi part fic I’m working on is actually an actor!e and struggling musician!r so..YES. I LOVE THIS. HMU WITH ALL UR THEATRE AUS. Ok so for background the Les Amis are doing a production of Next to Normal and E is Gabe and R is the head of the tech department!! Tbh R is on tech bc it reminds me of that tech girl I had a crush on when I did Les Mis :“) )

Theatre was the art of losing yourself and taking on a new soul.

Enjolras loved theatre and acting since he was a child. There was something so enthralling to him about taking on somebody else’s skin and becoming a whole new person with their own individual thoughts and perspectives.

Enjolras finds human beings fascinating, at awe with how complex they were and how each person to exist had their own vastly different thoughts and a whole new perspective to his own. It is such a wonderful experience to see the world from different eyes.

He isn’t comfortable in his own skin. He can never feel like he is good enough, he always feels like something is missing inside of him, he doesn’t feel at one with himself and like he’s detached from his own body, hovering over it and wondering how he’s supposed to get in and understand himself. Enjolras plays other characters so he can learn from them, hoping that he can begin to understand himself by understanding others. It’s a euphoric escape to be someone else and get away from himself for once. Enjolras is pretty tired of himself.

That being said as Enjolras pours his heart and soul into bringing these characters alive, in the process he neglects himself. Sometimes he forgets he’s real.

Enjolras blends away at his stage makeup tiredly, feeling exhaustion basically seeping into his bones. The lights fade in and out of his vision, he feels heavy, and too weak, and fevered. He sniffles, and continues to pat the concealer on top his darkly coloured under-eyes, trying to hide his true state beneath all this makeup.

His throat itches, and he turns away from his mirror and coughs violently into his shirt sleeve, tearing up as his chest aches from his chesty coughs, spluttering. He blindly grabs for a glass of water, and gulps the little that remains down hungrily. He groans, looking back to see his watery, red eyes and reddened nose.

He rolls his eyes at himself as he tries to carefully dab away at the wetness of his face, as not to ruin the makeup that’s already there, and nearly messes up the whole thing as he jumps when someone suddenly bursts through the door.

"Fuck!” Enjolras croaks, his voice raspy and all sorts of husky. He cringes, and clears his throat to fix his horrendous voice.

“Didn’t know Gabe was a heavy chain smoker,” Grantaire teases, a mug of tea and strepsils in his hands.

He’s a pain in the ass, but Grantaire is one of the reasons Enjolras wants to be comfortable with himself, because in this world, Grantaire is in it. It’s the only bad thing about theatre, because despite how amazing being in a different world is, Grantaire isn’t in it. That is a world Enjolras doesn’t want to live in, a world without his sunny, shining smile is already a little bit darker.

Enjolras rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to shoot back a snide remark when his nose is suddenly twitching and he’s turning away from Grantaire and retreating into the crook of his arm to sneeze twice.

Slightly embarrassed and not wanting Grantaire to worry about him, he clears his throat and bounces back, “Sorry, I’m just allergic to your bullshit, ‘Taire.”

Grantaire searches for a comeback, but he comes empty and he sighs in defeat, “Okay, that was a good one.”

Enjolras smirks in victory as Grantaire shuffles towards him and shoves the mug of tea into his hands, and presses a sweet little kiss on to Enjolras’s nose.

“You’re losing your voice, dear,” Grantaire frowns as Enjolras slowly takes sips of the hot tea mixed with lemon and honey. He lets out a small sigh of relief as the warm liquid soothes his throat a little.

“No I’m not,” Enjolras insists, although he’s not really sure if he’s trying to convince Grantaire or himself. He knows deep down it’s for himself, but Enjolras can’t let this bring him down, and all his friends.

The Les Amis have worked to the bone for this little off-broadway show. This show that spoke so beautifully about mental illnesses, and Enjolras was honoured with the opportunity to portray a personification of mental illness and perform to the best of his ability, and beyond that. He needed to be able to convey how it was like, to connect to other people through his performance so that they can begin to understand those with mental illnesses. Then he will be closer to helping create a kinder world.

Every show counted.

Each person in that crowd meant something, and if someone was out there and was touched by it, and felt a little less alone, or came out of it a kinder person, any sickness was worth pushing through. This was much bigger than him.

“Hm,” Grantaire huffs, clearly not believing a word he was saying.

“Don’t worry–"His words come out in a strangled noise that strains and pulls at the muscles in his throat. Enjolras turns away from his boyfriend and raises his elbow up to his face where he coughs harshly, the sounds resonating from his chest.

Grantaire frowns and leans in to rub his back and coax the coughs out of him, and when Enjolras finishes he’s exhausted. He leans back against his chair and wipes away at tears, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

"That doesn’t sound too good,” Grantaire points out worriedly.

Enjolras opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out of his throat. There is only a light, raspy wheeze that escapes his mouth. His eyes widen, his blood running cold as he freezes in panic. He shakes slightly, his breathing picking up ever so slightly. He clears his throat aggressively.

Grantaire notices this, and he is just as alarmed and fearful as Enjolras but somehow he manages to keep a level head. He wraps his hands around Enjolras’s and intertwines his fingers with his, to keep Enjolras here with him and grounded. So he doesn’t float away.

“Enj, don’t panic. Have some more sips of this tea,”

Enjolras nods frantically and begins to drink more of the hot tea, and when he’s done he puts down the mug on his dresser. He clears his throat.

“Hi, is my voice back,” Enjolras croaks out, his voice is rough and husky but its there.

He clears his throat again, popping a strepsil into his mouth and lets out a shaky sigh, “That’s better, I guess.”

Grantaire looks a little more at ease at that, Enjolras’s voice is better then, with a rough edge to it.

There is a small silence that begins afterwards. It is calm, but suddenly Enjolras says quietly, sounding so small and afraid.

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

Grantaire softens, cupping Enjolras’s face and then presses a loving kiss against his cheek, “You won’t, baby. You never do.”

Enjolras manages a weak smile at him, “I love you.”

A blush dusts Grantaire’s face and a smitten smile spreads across it. They use the word sparingly, not rarely, but not excessively. It’s more special this way.

“I love you too,” Grantaire says softly, and then his radio is crackling to life, Bahorel’s voice calling Grantaire over.

Grantaire chuckles and confirms that he is coming, and looks back at Enjolras, “Bossuet probably fucked something up again. I’ve gotta go save their asses now–but good luck baby, drink up. You’re going to be okay.”

With that, Grantaire leaves the door and Enjolras is left staring at the door, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

“All cast members please report to Val Jean’s dressing room for a warm up in 10 minutes, you have 10 minutes,” He hears Feuilly say over the intercom.

Enjolras nods, letting out a small sigh before he finishes up his makeup and hair.

When Enjolras walks into Val Jean’s dressing room, everyone’s eyes widen and jaws drop like they’ve seen a ghost.

He smirks, and sings softly, “I’m alive I’m alive I am so alive~”

He clears his throat and smiles at them reassuringly, “’Im fine. My point is I’m not dead, because you’re all staring at me like I am.”

Marius shakes his head, “Your voice is as angelic as ever, it’s just..”

Eponine clears her throat, “You look like shit, E.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes and laughs, “Oh well, the show must go on, as they say.”

Fantine frowns and walks up to him, and before Enjolras can even decipher what she’s doing her hand is placed gently on his forehead. He tries to squirm away, but she’s strong.

“You’ve got quite a fever, sweetheart,” She says gently. She is just as motherly to him on stage as she is off stage. Hopefully, off stage he’s a slightly better person than Gabe.

“It’ll be fine,” Enjolras says coolly, but Marius is trying to secretly text someone. He raises an eyebrow at the younger boy, slightly amused as Marius seems so sure no one is noticing him.

“Pontmercy, what are you doing?” Enjolras sighs.

“..Uh…” He says awkwardly.

Combeferre bursts through the door shortly after, and crosses his arms, clearly not very happy.

Enjolras turns white, “..uh..”

Combeferre basically slaps his hand onto Enjolras’ forehead and his frown is further deepened, and a few various pills are being shoved into his palm, as well as some more tea.

Enjolras groans, “I am drowning in tea, Ferre, I–”

The way Combeferre is glaring at him shuts him up and he’s popping the pills into his mouth and downing them with the tea.

Enjolras coughs, and he thinks it’s just a single, one off thing but the next comes spilling out of him, and the next, and the next. He’s coughing and he can’t stop, and it stabs at his chest and at his lungs. He’s expelling so much he’s not taking anything in, he can’t breathe and his body needs to. He feels faint, his vision darkening as the coughs force their way out of his chest.

He feels weak and faint, trying to reach for a wall or anything so his body doesn’t collapse in on itself, but he one powerful cough sends him toppling over, his body light as it free falls.

But thankfully Valjean is quick and there’s a strong arm around his waist, supporting him, and lifting him back to ground. When Enjolras looks up from his feverish, blearily haze there is a soft, concerned gaze looking down on him.

“Are you sure you’re up to this, kiddo? You don’t have to if you’re not feeling well,” Jean says worriedly, as he balances Enjolras back on his feet.

Enjolras rubs at his nose, stifling two sneezes before he responds, “I’m fine. Tonight is important. I can’t miss it.”

Everyone in the room looks extremely concerned, but when Combeferre sighs, not pleased but approving, they all straighten up to start working on warmups. As he turns around to leave, he suddenly leans forward and gives Enjolras a hug, rubbing his back lovingly and ruffling his golden hair.

When Combeferre pulls away his gaze is kind and caring, “You’re going to be amazing, E. You always are, please take care of yourself out there. Gabe is cool, but so are you, okay? I feel like you forget that sometimes.”

Enjolras’s eyes prick with touched tears, and he bites his lip to stop himself from crying any more. He smiles weakly at him, letting out a shaky exhale, “Fuck off, Ferre, you’re ruining my makeup.”

Combeferre can only laugh at that and ruffle his hair, before turning to leave through the door. He can’t help but spare a glance at Enjolras worriedly, wishing and praying that he would be okay, and he leaves through the door.

“Are we all ready?” Javert asks.

Everyone nods in agreement, and Marius starts to play the piano as they all harmonise and warm up their voices.

Grantaire finishes his double checks on all of the sound tech, and he sighs in relief. He’s done all he could possibly do. All he can do now, is relax and hope to whatever higher being out there that everything goes well.

He keeps his headphones in his ears and picks up a small cup of tea and makes his way to the left wing, where Enjolras is waiting at his five minute call to start the show. Fantine is already on stage in the dark, curtains still close. Grantaire is not an actor, but he is still always so fascinated with how when an actor steps onto stage, they are immediately a different person.

Grantaire carefully makes his way past and finds himself in the wings, and he finds Enjolras standing in the wings. He looks tired, sick, worried.

He approaches him slowly, gently tapping him on the shoulder, “Hey baby.”

Enjolras whips around and smiled at him, but a chesty little cough escapes him. He clears his throat, and he’s shaking ever so slightly and Grantaire doesn’t know if he’s nervous or just feverish.

“Hi,” Enjolras croaks out quietly, he looks down at Grantaire’s hands and takes the small cup of tea from Grantaire and sips at it slowly. He looks a little more relieved.

“Better?” Grantaire says softly.

Enjolras nods lightly, and tiptoes to kiss Grantaire’s cheek. Grantaire thinks this is the cutest thing.

“I’m scared,” Enjolras admits, his voice low and shaky. He’s trembling slightly, his voice cracking with vulnerability. He looks a lot younger like this. It breaks Grantaire’s heart. Enjolras is rarely ever this vulnerable.

“I can’t mess this up, you know that there are–”

“Yeah, there are important people here tonight but you are going to kill it. I know you will, baby.”

Enjolras can only manage a weak smile.

“Mics are turning on,” He hears Bossuet through his headphones.

Grantaire nods, and whispers softly, “Mic is on, E.”

Silence.

“Curtains are opening. You are going to be amazing, E. Remember that. Good luck, baby. And you are on stage in 1..2..”

Enjolras closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he opens his eyes the light in them is different, shifting. He steps onto stage and when the light hits his face he’s a new person.

Any trace of Enjolras is gone, he has somebody else’s skin on and everything is fine.

Grantaire never doubted that for one second.

Every hair on Grantaire’s body stands with excitement and adrenaline, a exhilarating buzz boiling in his blood as Enjolras’s powerful voice booms across the theatre. His belt is as strong as ever, his voice so wonderful and satisfying, like the cold side of your pillow that feels amazing in the dead of night.

Enjolras is Gabe. He is perfectly portraying this complex character, the perfect embodiment. He has become this character, the way he looks at things is completely different. There is so much detail and depth behind every step he takes. He plays this character with this fresh nuance, played so lovingly and obviously painstakingly crafted. There is so much depth he embodies, a chilling performance that leaves Grantaire moved. Grantaire is unbelievably proud, it swells in his heart.

The act is coming to a close, and Enjolras sings. He’s so angelic and lovely, the light shining and framing him perfectly. But it is so chilling and eerie, his gaze is intense and bone chilling. His voice is this beautiful lyrical tenor and his vibrato is clear and satisfying, his voice steady and melodic in this incredibly angelic way.

Then the act closes, the curtains falling and the audience roars with claps and screams, whistling. Grantaire can’t help but try and peek through to see, and he can see people standing up as they cheer.

Grantaire awaits his star by the wings, and the moment the curtain falls he’s transported back into this world. He’s Enjolras, and he’s so weak. So sick.

He staggers weakly offstage, looking so weary and unwell that the moment Grantaire is in reach he collapses into his arms with exhaustion.

“Enjolras!” He exclaims as his boyfriend falls into his arms. Grantaire steadies him with some strength and pulls him into his arms. The younger boy weakly buries his face into Grantaire’s chest. He coughs harshly and sharply, his face scrunched in pain as he coughs.

Frantically, he feels his forehead and gasps at the intense heat radiating off of it.

“Fuck, E!” Grantaire hisses worriedly.

“Courf! Over here!” Grantaire calls over, and once Courfeyrac can see them his eyes widen and he’s running towards them. With his help, they manage to get Enjolras back to his dressing room.

“I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid,” Enjolras hisses to himself in self loathing, tears pricking at his eyes.

“No you’re not, E,” Courfeyrac reassures softly, trying to mask the worry in his voice.

Combeferre arrived shortly after with a damp towel and drapes it over his forehead. He is clearly shaken, very nervous and frantic.

“I failed you all,” Enjolras whimpers.

“What?! No you didn’t!” Courfeyrac insists.

“I can still perform, I promise. Just one more hour. I can do this. I promise, please,” Enjolras begs tearfully, stopping as Grantaire helps him drink more tea. He pushes Grantaire away shortly, to hack and cough powerfully, tearing up. He clearly looks like he is in a lot pain, and the sound of his coughing is awfully chesty and congested. It sounds horrible.

No one wants Enjolras to do this, but they all know Enjolras would never forgive himself if he couldn’t. They don’t want to see him in such a state. Courfeyrac and Grantaire look over at Combeferre for answers.

Combeferre looks conflicted, staring at Enjolras for a long time and sighs exhaustedly, “He can do it. But Grantaire, once you two get home you have to extensively take care of him.”

Grantaire nods determinedly, “Of course.”

The bright smile Enjolras gives them is undeniably precious.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac leave them alone, to which Grantaire sighs fondly and helps Enjolras drink more tea.

“You are a mess.”

Enjolras grins feverishly, “Your mess, though.”

Grantaire chuckles, and kisses his forehead, “Unfortunately. You are going to give me an ulcer, one day, you know?”

Grantaire doesn’t understand it–he believes it’s some type of magic or sorcery or witchcraft, the like–but when Enjolras is back on stage his symptoms disappear completely. He is energised and alive again.

Enjolras is so good that Grantaire forgets that just a short while ago Enjolras was breaking down backstage, sick as a dog. On stage Enjolras is at the best state he’s ever been. The audience could never have guessed he was running a borderline dangerous fever and what surely could become a chest infection.

The show comes to a close, and one of the last songs is this extremely powerful and moving exchange between Val Jean and Enjolras. They are both  talents, revelations, incredibly passionate. They are delivering a performance of a lifetime, pouring their hearts out to many. Grantaire can faintly hear soft sobbing from the audience. When they finish, the audience explodes into a series of claps, so touched and moved.

When the show closes, the entire theatre stands up and claps loudly. The theatre is exploding with cheering and whistling and clapping. Grantaire can’t hear anything but cheers. They can’t even start bowing because the cheering is lasting so long.

The small cast begins to bow, and Grantaire can’t help but start cheering too when Enjolras steps to the centre for his bows. He starts to tear up as the crowd goes wild for him.

When the curtains fall and the cast come out, they are bombarded by hugs by everyone backstage.

“You were amazing, 'Jolras! You’ve brought our show to life,” Courfeyrac cries, tears steaming down his face as he hugs Enjolras.

“You killed it!” Combeferre says proudly as he joins in the hugs.

But when Enjolras starts coughing again, bent over by the waist. His powerful coughs take what is left of his energy and he starts to tip slightly, and he’s leaning forwards too much and Courfeyrac is swooping in to catch him. That is when when everyone remembers that Enjolras is sick and needs to go home.

“We should go home,” Grantaire steps in, approaching his boyfriend and taking him from Courfeyrac.

“You’re right. You’ll inform us on how he’s doing, right?” Combeferre asks anxiously.

“Of course.”

“But Stage Door,” Enjolras says weakly.

“Oh my god, Enjolras. You are not in the state, everyone will understand. You need to go home,” Grantaire insists.

Enjolras becomes quiet and looks so miserable. Grantaire sighs and feels a bit guilty, helping him back to the car.

Enjolras sleeps the whole way back to their apartment. Grantaire’s glad, because Enjolras needs to recharge. Once he parks, he picks Enjolras up and starts to carry him up to the elevator. He finally makes it to their apartment, and immediately puts Enjolras down on their bed.

He is about to leave to get some supplies when Enjolras stirs and grabs for Grantaire’s arm.

“Grantaire,” Enjolras whimpers, his voice teary and obviously upset.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” Grantaire coos as he sits at the edge of the bed to speak to him.

“I failed everyone, I did so badly, we’re going to get bad reviews and close early,” Enjolras chokes, a few tears beginning to spill from his eyes.

“What?! No! You were absolutely brilliant, baby. People were crying. Did you not see the standing fucking ovation at the end of the show? Fuck, there was one during your act closer! People loved it, Enjolras. Our message is getting out there thanks to you. So don’t you dare fucking tell me that you failed us. You’ve made us.”

Enjolras sniffled, inhaling sharply to sneeze harshly, then rubbing at his eye weakly, "I don’t believe you.”

Grantaire opens his mouth to bless him and to reassure him but his phone is beeping. Then again. And his phone is going crazy.

He pulls his phone out and quickly scans through the gibberish that is Courfeyrac’s recent texts, and when he scrolls to the original text his heart drops. Then it swells.

“Enjolras, do you want proof that you did not disappoint tonight?”

Enjolras only huffs.

“Enj, we’re going on Broadway.”

Enjolras eyes widen, and he starts crying again. He’s crying even more–but this time he’s happy. Enjolras forces himself up and throws himself over Grantaire and holds him close, hugging him tightly and continuing to cry. Grantaire presses a kiss onto the top of his head.

“We’re going on Broadway thanks to you, Enjolras. And I mean you. Not just the character you play. You. You made this all happen, and I know you aren’t always very happy with yourself and I hope this can help you start to see what I see in. I am so proud of you, and I love you so much.”

“It takes two, I thought one was enough, It’s not true, It takes two of us, You came through, when the journey was rough it took you..” Enjolras sings softly. 

“It took two of us. It takes care. It takes patience and fear and despair. To change.” Grantaire sings back. He’s a bit awkward, a little offkey, but to Enjolras it couldn’t have been more perfect.

#enjolras #grantaire #les mis #enjoltaire #exr #les miserables #theater au #Combeferre #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #eponine thernadier #jean val jean #fantine #sickfic #fever #prompts #y'all i loved this prompt so much the fuck

[celestialallstars]

Episode #5: “Every party is a pitbull party when I'm around” - Chloe

Honestly? I hope Sharky understands that all of it clearly was gamewise. I didn't care about his level of activity, but I cared about my game and unfortunately he was not apart of it. Having that out of the way, I want to use this next immunity to have a little bit more control for my game!

omg sharky left im sad 2 pots back to back although my pots is always gonna be brian <3 but yaa this so sad i wanted him to stay but votes werent there hes prob pressed but also like not my fault he was not as active i mean mitch isnt either but if sharky talked more hed be here know that

Zzzzz classic celestial double tribal. I bet we swap again at 15 and keep 3 tribes. AM I WRONG ANNA? AM I???? I’m just praying we win bc I, again, really don’t want to have to choose between Michael and drew. It’s just not FAIR to send either of them home rn but even though I know I’m safe with this majority I still want to be immune, and just pray I don’t get fucked by a swap here. If I can hit merge, I’ll be in good shape I think. Just gotta get there

DONT STOP THE PARTY. Every party is a pitbull party when I'm around

Chris seems very loyal to me So to have Bryce and Chris not willing to turn against me is going to bode really well for my long-term game I don't mind booting Stephen if we lose but I think I might be able to keep him If it will be good for me to have the thing with Mitch and Stephen at merge But the thing is, Tuatha would have to win immunity for it to be worth it to keep Stephen Because if they lose then Mitch is going to go, and what use is Stephen without Mitch?

WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON PLAYING LIKE THEY CANT CLEAN AFTER THEMSELVES? Kori slips his alliances, Stephen leaks his alliances, Rhys and Jared want Stephen out while Stephen wants Mitch to be used to go for Bryce and Kori despite all of these people being in an alliance together, Michael is asking for my hand in marriage, Chloe feels hopeless like me, Zach himself is a mess, Loris an even bigger mess yet I like them, Drew probably is ready to puzzle me and Loris out the door, Jack and Alyssa are problematically beautiful, Bodhi is just here, and Mo is going to kill us all with kindness.

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So now I'm gonna see if I can save Stephen since him going can hurt me a little. It's becoming clear to me that Loris talks to Rhys or Jared or maybe even Stephen but honestly? If Stephen is only saying Bryce and Kori's name then why not keep him and make him THINK that everyone is not onto him and them save him for later? Honestly even use him to take a shot at Bryce and Kori if all of them wanna but to take him out now even despite his problematic ways seems short shortsighted...at least I'm gonna try to get them to feel that way! Itll start by convincing Jared to convince  Rhys they should wait

So let's see it's about half an hour before the challenge is due. Sharky went home as was according to plan. 5-1 no surprises or anything. Immediately Anna slaps us in the face with her dick and we're face to face with a Double Tribal Challenge.

Would've probably done better if it was Sunday instead of Monday but unfortunately work got in the way and there really just isn't much I could do bout that. I'm HOPING we somehow pulled out a win. There's several elements where I'm thinking we probably got last but we also might've lucked out. To be quite honest, I'm not optimistic in the least. But I want to hold out hope that our luck will somehow turn out.

Everyone in this game is so good at challenges so it really takes some crazy stuff to pull things out. I also feel like I might be playing just slightly too relaxed on the social-strategic front, but there also hasn't been much to do other than try to maybe build bonds with people and try to be nice/likable. Most of the time when I'm at tribal the thing I want has tended to be the simplest and easiest thing to do for me.

Anyway, time to start my prayer to hopefully win this challenge and not get dicked by AnnaJane.

I'm kinda having this subtle realization that I'm in this alone. Which sounds obvious but like I don't know. As soon as I found out we lost I had this mindset of "Well just gotta hope the others choose to spare me." but bitch that's my fate I wanna choose what happens to it. So that's what I'm gonna try to do.

WE ARENT GOING TO THE DOUBLE TRIBAL BABY AND FOR THAT IM GRATEFUL. When I initially saw that the challenge was all flash games i was freaking. Im usually not the best at flash games, but i really stepped it up and won my portion of the challenge. I hope and think Jared and Stephen will be fine, so I am hoping we swap after this. If we dont, then it might be crazy if we go back to tribal. Loris wants to blindside Kori but idk if that is the best move for me.

So since we're one of the two tribes going to tribal we're currently in that phase of "fuck what do we do." and I'm gonna be honest its only a matter of who grabs the reins first and usually to see who is okay with said person driving. So I took it upon myself to grab those reins because if everyone's just sitting waiting I feel like my name has a chance of coming up. So instead of sitting and waiting for something that may not even happen, why not try to make something happen. So I threw out Stephen's name to Zach knowing that they have a "history" with the whole idol situation. Zach said he'd be fine with that, then I'm like going to Rhys like "Ok so it wasn't technically a name drop but I have heard Stephen's name" and Rhys was like "oh yeah I get that because he doesn't talk often." so I'm like yeah I'm thinking that too. This has such a high chance of turning around against me but if this does work I'm not gonna be able to do shit for a while without looking like a threat. Also if this does work I'm gonna feel like such a suave bitch, like oooh. Goat? Idk her... I'm gonna be eliminated.

God this fucking sucks. Real Sophie’s Choice moment here picking between Drew and Michael I don’t want to vote either of them out but also I’m not turning on Matt/Alyssa/Bodhi. Drew messaged me last night saying he didn’t want to go like this and it just killed me. I really don’t know what to do

Since we lost the challenge, campaign season has begun on Orfeo. The first 2 people I talked to were Jared and Zach. I suggested Mo as the easy vote since he's isolated original-tribewise and didn't perform well in the challenge, and Jared agreed immediately.

Zach was, in his own words, wishy-washy. I really don't like wishy-washy players at this stage of the game. It makes a bit more sense at merge or at the very beginning but if I'm gonna flip on Jared or Rhys at some point I want somewhere solid to land, Zach, Mo, and Chloe don't appear to be the players I'd want to make that jump with. They don't talk openly about game which makes it difficult to trust them.

Rhys also seemed okay with this plan but he was drunk last night so who knows LMAO. My conversations with Mo and Chloe were essentially meaningless. All I got from them was this deal that they'd tell me if I heard their name and likewise for them. Maybe they have an alternative and don't think they have to talk game with me. I do think I'm gonna try and play it safe for this vote and just push for voting Mo with Jared and Rhys. Hopefully the trust between us stays strong.

♪ I’m almost confident this will backfire and I will be eliminated~ ♪

So we lost this double tribal. Which low-key is probably good. Because were not gonna be on these tribes forever. So its good to cement some form of alliance from it.

It seems like its either Mo or Stepehen going tonight so that's good. There is pros and cons to both. Mo is from a different tribe and is more social to me. I feel like Mo wont be dis loyal so he would be a great ally. It would also show that I'm willing to work with other people moving forward, opening more doors. However in doing so, I may be closing a door on my old alliance of 5. So yes I am scared.

Right now I’m a bottom on the bottom so I’m gonna have to push it push it real good to flip some votes onto bodhi, I have a pretty good relationship with Alyssa and me and Matt have been in cahoots all game, but this is all stars and if I have to turn on Drew I’m not holding back I am not going home tonight, tomorrow or ever. I just can’t go!

So after I talked to Jared last night I proposed the big alliance idea to Zach without asserting I wanted it. Leaving it up in the air could make him less likely to think I'm pushing it. SO while that is going on, Jared filled me in on Rhys' anti-Steph brigade but it sounds like they may cave to voting Mo. ON TOP OF IT ALL, Kori and Bryce literally were saying they'd like a Tuatha-Orfeo alliance which coincidentally coincides with the big alliance? Huh. But if they're genuine then this has A LOT of potential.

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I do feel like I'm playing messy but I told myself I'd play a little different if it meant increasing my odds. I wont try getting too hopeful just yet. Now I've told Steph that BK wama have our tribes work together and this left Steph reiterating how it sets us up nicely that nobody suspects us. I truly feel people will suspect Loris/Steph before me/Steph but still I know me and him are close so if we can last long enough to play legit together, it will be amazing. Woooo go friends

so we r at tribal again, love that for us! 3rd one of the season, thus making all OG Cyrena having been to the most tribal councils. I did pretty poorly on the challenge, but as did multiple others its no big deal. I'm pretty shit at winning immunity anyway so its ok.

I feel like i am in a similar position as with last time i played. I'm clearly very weak socially (and admit it, ive been MUCH busier than i thought i was going to be since university has started) and have a tight 3 who all are like pretty close together, and have multiple advantages. So im being very loyal atm. just quieter than i would like. I find some of these ppl v.boring tho and you can tell some are just doing the rounds to keep face so they can't be accused of a bad social game LOL. Sharky also left last round which makes me SO sad UGH. MY ONE TRUE LOVE, KILLED TRAGICALLY BEFORE WE COULD BE REUNITED. Its like romeo and juliet, only with a gay and a straight and the gay got stoned to death by evil people. fucking RUDE.

This vote tho... its.... interesting. Maybe i WILL shove my head in the sand, get wildly drunk and just ignore everything that is going on. sounds much better tbh. I feel like a warrior ant, just being told what to do, no matter what is going on. Alyssa is genuinely looking out for me however, and wants bodhi gone as we still have 2 big shields due to the lovely meta game as both are known to be big players. Both will go along with it as well, as it saves their skin (drew and michael). Not sure how Jack is going to take it because i can't tell their connection together, mainly cause bodhi and I barely have one. and i think that is the issue. I don't know him well enough so i don't really care about him being voted off (its better tho tbh cause i genuinely like and care about michael and drew, lets be real matthew.) not sure if its a timezone thing or just my sheer laziness and lack of social game, i am unsure.

omfg im immune at double tribal. im coming 15th again tho. i hope not. idk. like. i think ill be fine even if we swap..... like. i think im good with quite a few people? despite the fact ive disappeared this week ok yeah that's true i think i'm wrong. we'll see :sob:

Do I want to keep Drew and Michael? Absolutely. Does that mean I'm okay with Bodhi going? Fuck no. Bodhi is loyal to me, Bodhi will not turn on me, Bodhi is not a threat to me. But Bodhi is threatening to Alyssa and Matt and they're my closest allies and they want to keep Drew and Michael and now we're blindsiding Bodhi because tribal lines DON'T FUCKING MATTER. I mean don't get me wrong, fuck tribal lines I'm so game to throw that shit in the fire but like, it's not the best move for me. Hopefully this bodes (bodhis haha punny) for me.

Ok now that I think about it going into a merge with less original numbers is actually good for us so maybe this isn't the worst. Idk I just feel bad I really wanted to work with Bodhi and now I basically have to cut him because it's majority on him either way and my allies don't trust him. Sucks man but it's allstars.

It's really next level that I am was able to

1. Keep the vote on Mo (Rhys campaigned against Stephen, and Bryce confirmed to me that Rhys wanted Stephen out) 2. Make Chris feel like he convinced me, and that I'm doing it for him and I, when mostly it's for me and partially for Bryce 3. Secure Zach's loyalty this round (calling with him and talking about game and non-game related things to re-establish our great rapport) 4. Keep Stephen in the dark about Rhys targeting him so that I can use that information for later

And this was all without much time on my hands.

Tribe Trust List 1. Chloe 2. Zach 3. Rhys 4. Stephen 5. Mo

Master Trust List 1. Bryce 2. Chris 3. Chloe 4. Mitch 5. Zach 6. Rhys 7. Stephen 8. Loris 9. Kori 10. Mo 11. Alyssa 12. Michael 13. Bodhi 14. Drew 15. Matt 16. Jack

god i hate this like no one ever wants to do what i want to do why do i have to be a brat every game. like its not like i want to its just ppl refuse to listen to what i want so yes ofc im gonna act out??? UGH

I guess I am about to find out if possible change is needed for my game or not moving forward. I can hope for a million things but all it takes is one to make it all hopeless

So some new information has come to me today. Chris has been approached by Kori with the idea of forming some kind of Tuatha/Orfeo Alliance. This is sort of what I wanted to do already but the fact that other people are proposing it is just great for me.

This just adds another reason to vote Mo out. He's original Cyrena and could become a part of a resistance to this group once merge hits. I'm personally pulling for this alliance to be made. It just brings me one step closer to the end and unites my major allies (Chris, Mitch, Jared, Kori) under a single flag.

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ANNNNNND There's been some drama on the old Orfeo tribe! Mo admitted to me that he's tried to vote me out, but due to the fact that people aren't talking to him, he now thinks the vote has switched to him, which is, hopefully, correct. If Mo had made a proposal like this to me right after we lost the challenge or before, I would've had to think about it, but as it stands, he's one person who has seriously thrown my name out there. I can't let that slide.

So, I devised a plan.

Step 1: Lie

How DARE Mo throw my name out there? I would never do something like that to him! Except I did, to everyone on the tribe, whoops. It's okay though, I lied and said Rhys did it, and I think he believed me.

Step 2: Join the resistance

Mo wants to get Rhys out, great. I'm happy it's not me. But that's a bad and unrealistic idea. SO I told him that in order to get a 3rd person willing to tie with us, we should target Chloe instead, and aim to recruit Jared.

Step 3: Recruitment

Now me and Mo are trying to recruit Jared one hour before tribal council. Except, not really. It's just Mo. I've told Jared about my plan to get Mo's vote off of me and he's in on it. Now, Jared can tell Mo the truth, or lie, and it doesn't really matter. Mo seems to feel too guilty to vote for me at this point. So mission accomplished.

Villains DO have more fun, don't they?

(I'm gonna look like such a dumb jackass if this plan doesn't work whoop, but oh well, I managed to fit one contrived plan into my time on All-Stars, so it's worth it!)

So right now I’m very nervous about this vote because even though people have said I’m safe I know bodhi is voting for me and he might just have an idol so like that’s my worry of getting idolled out lollll but uh I’m pretty worried about tonight so worried I might just throw my vote onto Drew and really protect myself and give me at least a little chance of staying due to an idol but who knows!

I think this is my last day which makes me incredibly sad. I feel like a failure if I’m being honest. There’s a slim chance I’ll stay. I had such a fun time playing.

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I was destined to be an early boot

Update:

So I can't use Rhys campaigning against Stephen this round as effectively.

Stephen knows his name was thrown out by Mo, because Mo TOLD him. Then Mo made a pitch to Stephen to work together, and Stephen told Mo that I might vote Chloe.

Long-story-short, it was just a ploy by Stephen to get Mo's vote off of him. I did a lil magic to make Stephen feel secure that I had his best intentions at heart, and I let Mo down easily that he is going home.

Mo was a fighter in this game and I give him all due respect. Now watch him idol me out ugh 16th looks cute on me

YAAASSSSS we woooooooonnn! I'm so happy to be avoiding this double tribal. If I can make merge at least that'd be a dream.

I had a conversation with Bryce and Chris and they don't seem opposed to doing a sort of pagonging of the Cyrenas because we talk with them the least. I'm not sure if that'll actually be an option come merge but if it is that'd definitely help me make it deeper in this game as a majority of my connections are my OG tribe barring Clohie, Chris, Loris, Drew, and Bodhi. Honestly if more OG Cyrena's like Matt, Alyssa, Jack, and Michael found themselves going this premerge I wouldn't complain.

I'm getting real tired of missing this idol system time window like a dolt though, I've no doubt I'm gonna pay for it later. But I also did win my game without idols so it's not like I HAVE to have them. It'd just be nice to shake things up since I did wanna play differently this time.

Anywho back to celebrating! Woooooooo~

WHY DOES MY TRIBE SUCK AT EVERYTHING....At least they're not voting me out this round. Matt tried to give me an "option" after an hour negotiation that Alyssa already said he was down for, but he wanted me to think it was coming from him. Isn't that adorable.

RIP Bodhi

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Bodhi and Mo are voted out in a double elimination.