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#i went more than a little bonkers over this story last december after watching the granada ep twice in a row
dathen · 1 year
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“I suppose that I am commuting a felony. But it is just possible that I am saving a soul. . . . Send him to jail now, and you make him a jail-bird for life.”
AND THERE IT IS
THE MOMENT THAT ATE MY BRAIN FOR A MONTH
This is no Abbey Grange, where the killer is a hero in his own right, or Study in Scarlet, where you loathe the victim enough to want to overlook the crime. The man behind the theft is cowardly and selfish and unsympathetic. But that’s what makes this choice more significant, because it shift it to being a criticism of the criminal justice system, vs weighing the worthiness of an individual.
Ryder is not a good person, but Holmes knows that jail will make him a worse person. On top of that, Horner is in the picture as an example of how society makes it MORE difficult to live an honest life after conviction than it is to return to crime. Both of these elements have to be at the heart of any meaningful challenge of the criminal justice system—it can’t work if you just insist that well the Bad People should be thrown away because they’re Bad and deserve it. You have to be willing to reform the system INCLUDING what’s done with selfish and unsympathetic people.
So there you have it! A happy ending for all, with Horner going free, the commissionaire getting a thousand pound reward, the lady getting her gem back, and no one going to prison—a charming little wintertime story with a rather radical statement at the very center. Oh, and this banger of a line:
He is not retained by the police to supply their deficiencies!!
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noctisfishing · 3 years
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The Last One Wins | 01
01 | 02 | 03 | 04
Rated: M
Summary: The Digidestined have grown into adults and are ready to embark on family life. Matt wonders if he and Sora are going to be the last ones to have a kid.
Between him and Tai, he wants to make sure that it happens that way.
Pairings: Sorato, minor Kenyako; Takari friendship shenanigans
Tags: Humor, some Romance and Fluff
Notes: The timeframe is Post-Kizuna, Pre-02 Epilogue. Born ahaha from a silly Discord conversation so please accept this silly little story.
M rating is for at least one light romance scene in later chapters. There will also be a scene with minor Kizuna spoilers along the way.
Shoutout to @leo112358 @blondeandconfused & @sakurarebin .. This conversation happened last December so sorry this took so long :3 <3
You can also find this and other updates on AO3 and FFN.
Chapter 1: The Bet
For once, all that Matt wanted was a quiet evening.
It was what he casually explained to Tai over the phone when he called to ask what Matt was up to. Sora was visiting her mother to prepare for another ikebana exhibition, so he had planned to relax on his own until she arrived home.
He didn’t expect to have to make more for dinner than for two, given that Taichi invited himself over. Once Taichi made his way over,  Matt sent a text to TK with the intention of venting, only to receive this reply.
"Kari’s been wanting to see him. We’ll stop by.”
Before Matt knew it, the seats at his dinner table were full with even Davis, Yolei, and Ken somehow tagging along from his younger brother’s invitation. Kari brought an extra dish and dessert, most likely out of sympathy, but Matt knew the situation couldn’t have been helped, and Sora wouldn’t have minded the unexpected guests regardless.
“You know you’ll miss me by the time you’re up in space,” Tai said while Matt cooked over the stove. “Are you nervous?”
“A little, to be honest,” Matt replied. After completing his master’s degree in aerospace engineering, he was selected for the JAXA astronaut training program, which had also been around the time he asked for Sora’s hand in marriage. He had never been happier the moment she said yes. They were married a year into his training, and fast forward another year to the present where he was on the verge of becoming a certified astronaut.
Excited as he was, he still had worries and doubts that he didn’t want to delve deeper to Tai, so he opened the conversation to Tai’s current job in international relations, which Tai had no problem rambling about as long as Matt continued to cook.
By the time they served dinner, the younger Digidestined took the reins of the conversation at the table. Yolei chatted happily about starting a family with Ken smiling warmly at her side.
Naturally, the conversation steered into the topic of children. Kari, Davis, and TK were also already married to their own significant others by then, and they all began an open discussion about how many children they wanted.
“Ken and I were talking about it and I’d love to have a big family,” Yolei said at one point. “I think you'd make a great dad, Ken!”
“That’s exciting!” said Kari, clapping her hands together. “I can’t wait to see mini Yolei’s and mini Ken’s running around!”
“It’ll be something, wouldn’t it?” Ken said, sharing a smile with Yolei. “Having the first child out of all of us - Well, unless…”
“It’s possible,” Matt interjected, knowing that Ken was about to refer to him and Sora. He sensed a few pairs of eyes shifting toward him. TK was about to open his mouth when Davis began to speak.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can’t take everyone out of the running so fast, Ken!” Davis said. “Your child won’t be the first - not if I have anything to say about it.”
TK laughed. “You're really going to make this a competition?”
“Butt out, TP. This is between me and Ken.”
"He goes by ‘Tee-Kay’, and you're an idiot to think you'd have the first child!"
"Wanna say that again, 'maestro'?"
“You’re bonkers if you really believe that!” Yolei added.
Matt had been used to the back and forth banter between the younger Digidestined by now, but he never thought the competitive behavior would fall on a subject like this. He looked over to Tai who was just as surprised as he was.
As the conversation went on, Kari whispered to Matt that she would try to silence them with dessert. Matt watched TK follow her into the kitchen, and then return with a pie in his hands along with him and Kari giggling between each other.
The pie ended up being a good distraction, and Kari began to grill her brother on when he was going to visit home again. Matt sat and listened along with everyone else, but he could only feel relieved knowing that he didn’t have to answer the question he knew that Ken was about to ask him.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Man, they were at each other’s throats,” said Tai after Matt walked Yolei, Ken, and Davis out of his house.
“No kidding,” Matt replied. “It’s hard to believe that the younger ones are talking about kids.”
“I think Davis is going to beat Ken,” Kari added, and Tai and Matt turned to stare at her.
“You think so?” Tai asked.
“Yup. His girl can be just as fiery as he can be. They’ll have the first kid.”
“No, no.” TK shook his head. “I’m all for Ken and Yolei being the first ones.”
Kari crossed her arms. “Hmm. I can’t wait for the 5,000 yen you’ll be giving me when you lose.”
“I think I’ll be the one being 5,000 yen richer-”
Tai laughed. “You guys made a bet?”
Things began to click in Matt’s head.
“So that’s what you two were giggling about earlier.”
“Come on!” said TK. “It makes this whole thing much more fun. You guys wanna join in?”
“Nope,” he said immediately.
“No way,” added Tai.
“Aww, Onii-chan,” they whined in unison.
“Leave me out of this,” said Matt, waving his hand with a sense of finality. “Besides, I’d rather not think about kids right now. In fact, I bet I’d be the one to have a kid last.”
Silence fell, and suddenly, all eyes seemed to be on Matt.
“Are you serious, Matt?” Tai asked. “You and Sora are already married. What else is going to happen next? Don't tell me you haven't been trying for one.”
“I mean… It's not like we haven't, you know…” Matt felt his cheeks warm, feeling as though he was tricked into answering an intimate question he didn’t want to answer, especially not in front of TK. “But we're not trying. You, however!” he added quickly, hoping to push the attention towards Tai. “I wouldn't be surprised if you have one first, since you like to do it like you mean to.”
There was a long pause as Tai stared him down.
“...You're definitely going to have one before I do.”
“I definitely will not.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
Matt couldn’t believe what Tai was saying. Did Tai really think that he was going to win this argument? Was Matt going to let him?
“Seriously, Matt," Tai continued. "Sora's practically a mother already.”
“Which is exactly why she doesn't need children yet. She already has to take care of you and me. Why add to the list?”
“That doesn't mean we can't be crossed off. Hey, we've gotta grow up sometime.”
Matt was too focused on staring down Tai to notice that Kari and TK were exchanging mischievous smiles, followed by raising their hands to shake for a second bet - this time, between their own brothers.
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theseerasures · 4 years
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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019
i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon
towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?
the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.
the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.
(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)
Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.
Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.
Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.
Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.
Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me
Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.
Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick
Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want
Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things
thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album
When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good
The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs
Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me
Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.
Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.
Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.
Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure
The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated
The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”
Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana
Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”
Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me
High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year
Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes
Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof
Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also
Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever
Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.
Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.
most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.
to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell
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theredpandayt-blog · 5 years
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Why all the hype? 🤷‍♂️Bird Box Netflix Review - No Spoilers
Each year I eagerly await the Doctor Who Christmas Special. So, when I found out that this year, we weren’t going to be getting one, it’s safe to say I was more than a little bit annoyed.
So, on Christmas day, after way too much food, I took to Netflix to find a replacement to watch instead. Eventually, after endless scrolling, what I settled on not only disappointed me but annoyed me so much that I felt like this review was the only way to fully get over it.
“Bird Box” - the latest original offering from Netflix – is boring, lifeless and slow. Why you ask … well that’s what we’re going to be talking about today.
Released on the 21st of December, Birdbox tells the story of Malorie (played by Sandra Bullock) as she tries to survive in a post-apocalyptic world where millions of people suddenly decided to commit suicide after seeing some sort of entity that compelled them to do so. Trapped in a house, Malorie and some others try to piece together what actually happened and how they might be able to survive in the new world.
It’s a pretty grim premise - one which looked to be both creepy and promising, especially given all of the social media hype. And to be quite honest, the trailer was really good – so I was pretty excited to say the least, and boy was I wrong to be!
Bird Box has all the trappings of a mediocre, uninspired cash grab and yet still people couldn’t get enough of it – colour me confused for sure. watching “Bird Box”, I couldn’t help but feel like it was retracing the steps of older, more interesting, and accomplished films.
I saw flashes of Steven Kings “The Mist” – a totally underrated film that I recommend to everyone as essential viewing.  If you can find the Black and White Director’s Cut of the film, then watch that – it’s exceptionally better than the original theatrical release and really helps that gut punch ending make an impact.
I also saw elements of both 28 Days Later and, of course, “A Quiet Place” – which in my opinion was 2018s most captivating horror film. Although, the Bird Box novel was released in 2014, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d seen it before and that’s because I had. Although it didn’t follow A Quiet Place beat for beat, the similarities in both the concept and the journey the central characters go on were too obvious to ignore. Had Birdbox come out before A Quiet Place, I believe I’d be saying the same thing about that.
Side note, the novel is great. You should 100% have a read. SciFi now described it as “Nail-biting” – and   I believe that’s a pretty accurate description.
It’s just a pity the film can’t be given such high praise.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there must have been a lot of talented people in-front of and behind the camera - christ, Sarah Paulson is in this briefly - but I can’t help but shake the feeling of disappointment I got after the credits began to roll.
There are some (but not many) things about Bird Box, that actually impressed me that I’d be remise not to mention.  The ensemble cast they managed to pull together for this was quite impressive and I genuinely had fun trying to work out who was going to do what.
Bullock, unsurprisingly, puts on a great performance and you really believe the journey her character is going on. Malorie isn’t the most likeable character but when a change in her happens, it actually feels earned, but it’s got absolutely nothing to do with any of the rest of the film. It’s all Bullock and she deserves praise for that. In fact, I’d go so far as to say the filmmakers completely missed the point of the novel while Bullock managed to find it.
Clearly, the source material was strong. So, what the hell went wrong I hear you ask? One word – Hollywood.
As per usual, the core concept of the Bird Box novel was all that the film makers could heave onto the metaphorical big-screen. Perhaps the constraints of time made an impact, in fact that’s probably exactly what happened. But in a world where we get 8 hours films like Stranger Things 1 & 2, there really isn’t a for a half-baked upload on Netflix anymore.
Now here’s for the really confusing part…wasn’t this supposed to be one of the scariest movies of the year? That’s what everyone was saying for sure, but not one of the apparent “scares” in this so-called horror film actually made me jump. I wasn’t scared, and I wasn’t even made to feel uncomfortable – which is surely the point of a film like this? In fact, I felt no emotion at all watching this.
From what I’ve been reading, I’m not the only one to have this complaint. I’d say this was more of a study of how a character like Malorie would react in this world, than a scary film. So, to those calling it that – stop. It’s not. The only horrific thing about this film is that so many of us across the world spent our Christmas evenings watching it.
Which brings me on to my last point … How has this done so well? Really? I’m confused. Apparently, 45 Million Netflix accounts watched at least 70% of Bird Box in its first couple days which is bonkers considering its quality.
Netflix has released so many great films which I guarantee you haven’t had anywhere near that amount of people see them in their recommended section, never mind actually watch them. I’m thinking Okja, Roma and yes (even with its problems) Bright.
The success of Bird Box is undeniable, and it most likely means that we’ll have a sequel in our Netflix queues in no time – let’s just hope that whatever comes next addresses the sameness and innovates within the genre a little bit.
Now before I sign off, I just want to clarify that Bird Box is not bad in the same way that say, an Adam Sandler movie is.  It’s just quite forgettable, so much so that I had to look up Wikipedia to remind me of the plot so that I could review it.  
Bird Box brought nothing new to the table and bored the living daylight out me.
It’s a been there, done that kind of situation and believe me, it’s been done better.
Like I mentioned before, if it had come out, maybe 4 or 5 years ago I might be saying something completely different.
So, I can’t possibly recommend that you watch this and instead I recommend you watch all the films I mentioned before – those were the real innovators and deserved 100x more hype than this mess managed to get.
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Mind Over Matter
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Chapter 1: I’ll Be Seeing You Down Every Road
December 2017
Alison Whitworth was getting cold feet, which proved to be a trend with her recently. After dumping her loser of a fiancé a month ago, she has been a mess. It was sad really, that tosser completely didn’t deserve Alison, and yet somehow he had twisted her to believe it was he that was too good for her. That is absolutely bonkers considering Alison was London’s sweetheart actress. Though, here she was locking herself in her bedroom right before we were to leave for her first night out since the break up.
   "Ali don’t do this right now. We’re all ready to go,“ I said as I knocked on her door. I could hear moving about within, but no response came. Leaning my head against the door as I continued, "You agreed to this, and you cannot back out now. Everyone will be there tonight, and I’m sure everyone is looking forward to see the Alison Whitworth back in action. No one can be the life of the party like you, remember that. Yeah, you could be that again.”
     It was quiet. She was probably thinking about her options, and I hoped she would listen to me. Everyone would be disappointed it I ended up showing to this party by myself. Mostly because I’m just the little sister of the famous Alison Whitworth. Though I had know most of her friends, I wouldn’t really consider them friends to me. If anything, they were friends by association. I was friendly to them and hung out with them when I attended events with my sister, but I would never hang out with any of them individually. Alison’s friends weren’t really my scene. All of London’s socialites seem to run together, and with them came publicity and social media, which don’t mesh well with the low key lifestyle I preferred.
    “Eden, I can’t,” she said so quietly. “It doesn’t feel right without him.” I knew if I didn’t stop her soon that waterworks would follow.
    “Oh that’s bullocks. You know he hated your friends, Ali. Towards the end, he basically made you stop seeing them.”
    “Still, it’s just different, and I don’t know if I can handle it.”
    I scoffed at that, “You are the strongest person I know and it’s ridiculous that you don’t think you can handle this. The Alison Whitworth I know would walk out this door and have a night to remember because she wouldn’t let some bloke who broke her heart stop her from moving on.” I stood there for a second as silence filled house. I stood there hoping my somewhat inspiring speech took effect on her.
    “Okay. Okay! Just give me five minutes,” she yelled through the door. I felt a pat on my back was deserved, but just smiled to myself as I made my way downstairs.
   I heard Alison moving about as I went downstairs. Not only was I proud that Alison got the courage to step back into the single world, I was in much need to get wasted tonight. It’s so hard to find time to go out and just have fun when Uni feels like it’s slowly killing you in coursework.
************
    The crowd was what you expect. Many of London’s socialites gathered around sharing drunken stories from across the globe.  One of which I was currently listening to. I stood with Alison, arm in arm, as we listened to Nick Grimshaw tell of his latest drunken escapades in New York City last month.
   I had already downed enough shots of vodka to where ensure that I would be hungover tomorrow, so as Nick told me a particular part of his story that very scandalous, I lost it laughing very loudly. Nick really knew how to tell a story, and on the multiple occasions I had been out with him, he always knew how to make me laugh. I turned to Alison exchanging knowing glances of how crazy Nick was.
   "I’m telling you, it was fucking mental, Alison,“ he said. "You should have been there.” For a second I was worried that Alison would snap, seeing as his stories had taken place a couple weeks ago when Alison was still in her post-Alex depression.
  She waved it off. “Yeah, I know. This past month has been a complete waste.” Her drunken state probably the reason she didn’t take it to heart.
  One of Alison’s friends, Drew, started to go on about some people I didn’t know, so I thought I’d excuse myself to get another drink. The club was pulsing with music as I made my way through the VIP section to the bar. As much as I loved to go out to the general area and get lost in the crowd, the VIP section was very more chill. I went up to the bar before taking a seat on a stool.
  “What can I get for a pretty girl like yourself,” the bar tender asked as he made his way towards me.  
   "Jack and coke, please,“ I smiled as I tapped my fingers against the counter.
   "Alright. Coming right up for you,” he smiled back as he went to go mix my drink. I sat there playing with my bracelets as I waited. Soon, I heard a multitude of loud cheers coming from behind me. I turned my head to see what all the commotion was about.
  I spotted everyone’s happy faces turned to a new person entering the section. There in all his glory was Harry Styles. He was much talked about across the country, the globe; really, it seemed like you had to be living under a rock to not know who he was. Though, he was a couple years younger than Alison and most of her friends, he had become really near and dear to them. They always spoke of him with dearest affection, but I had never met him before because he had always been away with his band and then with his movie and new solo endeavors.
  Being in the same room with him now, I found an attractiveness in him that I hadn’t seen before. Of course I had only seen various pictures and videos of him from Alison, but this was different. His smile seemed a thousand times more vibrant as he said hello back to everyone, and as he stood there in black jeans and a button up with some pattern I couldn’t see, with the buttons only half way up, I understood what all the hype was about him. His short hair beginng to slightly curl again as his younger quiff of hair seemed to be returning.
   I watched him for a little longer as he joined Alison, Nick, and the group they were conversing with. A voice snapped me out of my trance as I turned back to the bar. “Here ya go miss,” the bartender said as he put my drink out in front of me. He was swiftly thanked before I hopped off the stool and made my way to return to Ali.
  When I got back to Ali, Harry had moved onto other friends. I smiled as Ali saw me and threw an arm around my arm as I sat down next to her. “God, Eden you seem to grow up and get prettier every time I see you,” Pixie said as I sipped my drink.
  “Thank you really, but you say that every time I see you,” I smiled, as she laughed.
   "Well, you can’t expect any less from the Whitworth sisters. You genes were bound to be golden from your parents. I mean gorgeous people like that don’t make ugly children,“ Nick chimed in. Alison and I laughed as the common conversation of our parents came up.
Our mother was the famous model, Jamie Strolin, who married the legendary singer, James Whitworth. The eighties were really crazy times. Surprising through all the years of partying and definite hard core drug use, my parents remained together, but not without a few major bumps along the way. God knows I’ll never forget when Mum and I, not even eight years old, were shopping at Waitrose, and I spotted the newly printed tabloids with headlines of my father’s alleged affairs with ‘exclusive’ pictures entailed. My mom was horrified, shielded me away from them and tried to explain that people made lies about famous people just for fun.
I almost believed her, but it was too late. Through friends and other magazines I saw the story and I saw the pictures. Albeit being blurry, I knew that they were true. My parent always vehemently denied the allegations, seeing as that wasn’t the only time either of my parents were accused. I tried to believe them, always, but deep down, I could never forget that first time I read my parents’ dark secrets splashed against front pages.
   "Yeah, I sure thank my lucky stars for that. This face is the reason for my career, and god knows where I’d be if I didn’t have it. Couldn’t possibly imagine myself in some career having to do with smarts. Everyone knows I don’t have those,” Alison said. I rolled my eyes as she doesn’t give herself as much credit she deserves with how smart she is.
   "Oh shut it Alison. We all know you are brilliant.“ I spoke out as everyone nodded along. Name a person that could memorize a script and nail it perfectly quicker than Ali. You couldn’t.
    "Eden, you’re studying fucking economics of all things. That needs brilliance, not being an actor,” Alison bit back.
    “You’re the one with all the talent though.”
    “Oh don’t sell yourself short, Little Eddie. I’m sure you got some hidden talents somewhere,” Nick winked at me when he spoke the last part. A smile made its way on my lips as I rolled my eyes. “Maybe it’s that eye roll, seems pretty perfected to me.”
     Alison and I seemed like the classic one with the brains and one with the talent. On a couple levels that could seem true, but I think we are each more than that. Alison always finished as one of the top students in her class at every performing arts school she attended. She understood how to get by with good grades. I had just been determined to work hard my whole life. I had no other interests like acting that distracted me from my studying.
   My eyes roamed around the space. It was dark but flashing lights made it possible to see everyone. I found him easily from the floral sheer shirt he was wearing, bunched up on his forearms and exposing his upper chest.. He was in a conversation with some people who I hadn’t known the names of. I focused on him a little more and his facial features became more defined. I had seen pictures of him in papers, but even in the dark setting we were in now I could tell that they didn’t do him justice.
     He must have sensed someone watching as his eyes lifted to mine. Ah damnit, I hate when this happens. My breathe caught in my throat as I realized I was caught. I turned back towards Alison still talking about whatever project she was about to start working on.
    “And guess who they is starring as the lead male,” she started. “Bloody Bradley Cooper. Can you believe it.” This wasn’t the first time I had heard of this, but every time I was reminded of it my heart hurt a little. Bradley Cooper is a major love of mine. I usually don’t get star struck when meeting people seeing as I grew up with celebrities, but if I ever met Bradley, I would lose my mind. So, you can see my growing anxiety and hope that a crossing between us soon.
Yes, yes. Of course, I know he is with one of the most beautiful women in the world. Honestly, I have just as big a girl crush on Irina than I do on Bradley. Also, you could forget the genetically perfect baby they had about a year ago.
    After a few seconds lately, I spared another glance in his direction. Lift my eyes slowly to him, much to my surprise, his eyes were still on mine as those around him continued to talk. I think the slightest of smirks graced his lips as we looked to each other for a couple more seconds.
   "Eden, what do you think?“ Nick said loudly.
   My head turned back to the group as I saw all eyes on me. "What,” I said completely confused.
   Nick sensed something was off and looked in the direction I just was. A moment of realization hit his face as he figured out I was doing. “You were watching Harry!” He exclaimed.
   I could feel heat rise to my cheeks, and I struggle for an excuse. “I was not!” Brilliant, probably the worse excuse I could use. I hoping that I didn’t just sound like a six year old in front of Alison’s friends, denying the obvious truth when caught with the hand in the cookie jar.
   "You were too,“ Nick smirked and I rolled my eyes but struggled to stop a smile from enveloping my face from embarrassment. "Don’t worry love. Many find themselves star struck with the beauty that is Harry Styles.”
    The smile couldn’t be stopped as everyone laughed. At this point in the night, I thought it would be better to just let it go. So I laughed along with everyone.
     "What does little Eden have some interest in little Harry?“ Alison snickered as she elbowed me in the ribs.
      "Please. Like I would ever want to get involved with someone like Harry Styles,” I replied. “Don’t you know me better than that.” I sneered back. A smirk graced my lips as I tilted my head to one side.
      It was a principle of mine which I have stuck to very well. Don’t get involved with celebrities. For one, I don’t have time for a relationship in general, so when you add in the pressured life of a celebrity, I don’t think I would be able to handle it. I’ve seen the pressure that Alison had to endure with all her past relationships. It was a side effect to her dream, and I was determined to steer away from that situation.
       "You really ought to rethink your morals, Eden. Harry Styles could show you a good time,“ Nick chimed in. My mouth dropped open in mock shock at his blatant comment, and a roll of the eyes was enough of a response from me. “Ahh, yes that eye roll is you hidden talent.” At that, I flipped him off
*****
    I was surprised. I wasn’t easily surprised, but when I found Alison sneaking her way into the bathroom with a fairly attractive guy, I was surprised. She was most definitely piss drunk, but I thought this could be good for her. The only way to get over somebody is to get under someone else.    I stood by myself, leaning against the wall, off in some corner of the VIP section. After Alison first made acquaintance with whom she was currently shagging, I decided I needed a little break. The alcohol really starting to take affect on me as everything was kind of hazy. Tonight’s event will prove to disastrous tomorrow when I have to try to get up and do school work. My brain hurt just thinking about it.   "You know staring isn’t polite,” a deep voice spoke out. I rolled my head to the side to see who had come to talk to me.    Harry Styles was standing in front of me. Normally I think I would be a little nervous. Who wouldn’t be nervous, but right now I was really relaxed and decided I could roll with the banter he was making.    "Who’s to say I was staring,“ I answered as I looked over his face. Even in the dark surroundings, I could make out somewhat of his green eyes. Not often do you see someone with green eyes like his.   His posture was relaxed. His hands tucked into his extremely tight jeans, while I could finally make out the floral pattern on his shirt. Pink and red flowers spread out the expanse of his shirt, contrasting the dark black of the sheer material. Surely if anyone else in this room tried to wear it, I doubt they would be able pull it off like he did.    "I think you were intently staring at me,” he said as he laughed. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.     “That didn’t stop you from staring back did it?” I raised a brow at him.    "I suppose you’re right,“ he smirked. "So are you a new friend of Grimmy’s? I haven’t seen you around at parties before.”    "No, not really friends with anyone. Decided I would crash a party tonight,“ I said seriously. He laughed as he crossed his arms, leaning against the wall to the right of me.    "Security must be getting really loose these days.” He said, with a raise of an eyebrow, clearly not buying my act but playing along.     It was my turn to laugh and shake my head. “I’m Eden.”     His mouth made an ‘o’ as the connection formed in his mind. I was trying hard to stop thoughts of how attractive his pink lips were, as confusion spread over his face. "You’re Little Eden? I definitely did not even recognize you. Alison makes you out to be like young teenager or something, and I hadn’t seen pictures of you two in a while. I always just assumed you were much younger.”     I turned towards Harry so we were facing each other straight on, though both leaning against the wall. "Of course she does. I think she still sees me from my young teenage years, which is not the kind of stories I would like her tell seeing as how I was very embarrassing that young.” He smiled as he listened. His smile was captivating to say the least.    "Well she definitely paints a misconception.“ I nodded before pushing off the wall.    "She’s mental,” I said. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it happened, but I could have sworn Harry’s eyes trailed down my body as I took a step away from him. It made me thank my lucky stars that I wore my little brown suede dress that shamelessly stopped high on my thigh just below my bottom with my favorite black heels that I felt made my legs look really long.    "That’s very true. I know she has been growing through a hard time, and it was nice to see her somewhat back into her element tonight.“ He pushed off the wall and came to stand in front of me. Only because of my  heels did we appear to be eye level with each other.    "Yeah, it is. I took this night to come and support her and somewhat to get away from my coursework, but that’s besides the point. She had a great time tonight,” my eyes fell from his face to the floor as I smiled, provided of the first step my sister achieved. “She looked beautiful tonight.”     “She always does though.” He commented.     “You got a thing for my sister, Harry?” I joked.     His head tilted backwards after he let out a loud laugh, causing myself to join in laughter. The conversation came easily. He truly seemed like an easy going guy that everyone made him out to be. It’s seemingly why he was part of my sister’s friend group seeing as he had that star quality, to be able to walk into a room and completely takeover. Not in a bad way. It’s just like everyone knew he was the guy to pay attention to.       “No, I love your sister, but we are just friends.”     “Good. Because then I’d have to find out your intentions and all that shit.”     “Do I look like the kind of guy that could ever have bad intentions?” He scoffed.     “According to every tabloid in London, you do.” I raised an eyebrow.     “Oh please. You know from your sister that those are all shit. None of it’s true.” He shook his head. His lips went into a tight line.     I couldn’t hold it in as I let out a laugh. Having gotten a little worked up from this conversation, it appeared he was taking me seriously. “I’m just kidding. God, with what Ali and all her friends say about you, it’s like you have never done wrong in your entire life.”     “Yeah right. They probably all gather together just to talk about my life and what I’m fucking up now.” A small spread across his face. I couldn’t help but reciprocate it.     “I have to admit I’ve attended a few of those gatherings,” I smirked.      My eyes found his, which were already on mine. We both broke out in laughter, as I kept my eyes on his face. His head tilted back and his eyes crinkled because his laughter just overcame his face.      "Yeah well I guess distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?“      "Oh you could definitely say that. I think they have been counting down the days until you came back to London, especially after doing the Victoria Secret show. All they could talk about was how ‘you fucking smashed it,’” I used my hands for air quotes on the last four words. He smiled as his hand raised to rub against his jaw. I had to tell my self not to watch his hand against his jaw, which I was becoming increasingly aware of how defined it was. “What did you think about it,” he stately comely. A look of amusement in his eyes as to how I would answer. “Well, I opted not to stay up until four in the morning to watch due to the fact I had breakfast with my parents at nine the next morning.” I paused. “That didn’t stop Ali, though. She’s obsessed with the yearly show.” Harry let out a small laugh. “But, from what I saw on youtube the next morning. It was really great.” Harry had a wide smile grace across, obviously still not use to hearing praises of his recent endeavors. “I cannot imagine though its too hard to sing around the most beautiful women in the world.” “It is actually so much pressure. What if I mess up? It would be in front of, like you said, the most beautiful women in the world.” “Oh no trust me, you crushed it and I bet you had all those women fawning at your feet.”     There was a couple beats of silence — Harry held a look of content after hearing positive intake of his past performance. His silence also seemed to assure me in my assumption that the women were happily all over him. I looked at him a few seconds longer, as he looked at his shoes, and I realized I was actually in fact very tired.      “I’m sadly sobering up and becoming very sleepy, so I think it’s about time I make my exit with my sister. It was nice meeting you Harry.” I put my hand on his chest as I said the last sentence. His muscles were felt under my touch.    "Bye Eden,“ he breathed quietly as I looked backed to his eyes. There was a kindness in them that I found comfort in. Maybe it was why so many had considered them to be good friends with Harry. His whole personality was inviting.    I nodded as I turned to walk away. After a few steps and against my better judgement, I turned around. He was watching me, as his eyes rose from my legs to my face, "Staring isn’t polite, but you looked really good tonight as well.”    He smirked as I turned around for the final time to find Alison, hopefully not planning on bringing home the boy she shagged in the bathroom. That would be quite the awkward ride home. Alison Whitworth Returns to the Night Life Scene   The paps almost didn’t believe their eyes or cameras when Alison Whitworth appeared at 27 Lux nightclub late Tuesday night. Of course, Whitworth was joined by her date for the evening, her little sister Eden. Eden appeared to turn away from pictures or questions, seeing as she is a student at UCL. Sources told us that Eden pushed Alison to make her first appearance back out after a full month since her breakup with movie star, Alex Smith.    A source tells us, “You would think that since she dumped him, she would be over him by now, but Alison is still so cut up over him. Seeing his face plastered all over news articles with his new fling have got her questioning everything and how it went wrong.” Alex seemed to move on quickly, being spotted with his new British model, Daisy Watkins, only four days after news broke that Alison had ended their engagement.     So, we can’t be more elated to see Alison back to her spot as reigning British socialite. We were also told the night was filled with fun and laughs (and loads of alcohol, of course). Alison and her sisters were joined by Nicholas Grimshaw and his squad whose squad goals rival Taylor Swift’s we must say. Not only to be completed by the Harry Styles who appeared later in the night but definitely brought much life to the party that rockstar he is.    Harry too seemed to have a good night, we are told he spent part of the night away from the crowd spending time with a mysterious brunette from the club. These insides seemingly confirm the long speculated split between Camille Rowe and Mr. Styles himself. The two were linked a few months back after being spotted together going out and dining together. Maybe now, Harry has a new girl to take out.
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carmineri · 6 years
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A SATURDAY SIX Look At Christmas Through The Magic of Movies!
By Derek Burgan
This week’s SATURDAY SIX takes a look at Christmas through the Magic of Movies! The SATURDAY SIX and movies go together like pepperoni and pizza, chocolate and peanut butter, and insects and lollipops (well, maybe not the last one.) We’ve done articles on Avatar, Star Wars, and even the Disney animated film library. This week we’re going to look at our favorite genre of Hollywood, Christmas movies. Every Thanksgiving we pull all of our Christmas stuff out of the garage, and among that junk those annual traditions is our treasured box of Christmas DVDs. Pretty much every night until Christmas itself you’ll find us watching timeless classics such as Muppet’s Christmas Carol, Elf, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, or Miracle on 34th Street. Today we’re going to take a look at some of our favorite Christmas films, several of which have tie-ins to the theme park world we know. Let’s kickoff the countdown with…
# 6 – Now That Disney Owns DIE HARD, A Few Changes May Need To Be Made To The Christmas Classic…
The Die Hard franchise is famously known for television stations working overtime on “creative” ways to coverup the movie’s curse words. With Disney now in charge of the brand, there’s a chance something else needs to be made more family friendly: the film’s liberal use of guns. Readers may remember it was just two years ago this very month when Disney began to remove all guns from property. This new mandate included bubble guns sold at the outdoor kiosks. So while we still may have the Frontierland Shootin’ Arcade and the cold steel wielded by Jungle Cruise skippers, you won’t find any guns at the gift shops (they all went to the Outlets, and we mean all of them.)
With a little Disney Magic, we can make one scene in particular more “family friendly.”
Die Hard. (art by Matt Cleary)
Die Hard. (art by Matt Cleary)
  # 5 – Meanwhile, Universal Prepares To Deliver A New Gift For Its Fans
Like Ralphie Parker in A Christmas Story, each of us had that One Special Gift we always wanted growing up. For me, it was a Han Solo blaster.
For theme park fans, our precious theme park rides of years past have been pushed aside for 3-4 minute “experiences” that must be based around an intellectual property. On Christmas Eve, our silent wish will be for the rides we used to get.
FAST & FURIOUS: SUPERCHARGED OPENING SOON!
# 4  – The 2018 Ad Campaign For Disney’s Hollywood Studios
What about using an iconic moment from Home Alone to try and get across what it’s like walking through a theme park that costs as much per day as Epcot?
State of Disney’s Hollywood Studios, December 22, 2017. (photo by @bioreconstruct)
# 3 – Cinnamon Bun Cheeseburgers. Pop Tart Sandwiches. Poop Snacks. We finally get a look inside the Disney “Test Kitchen”
Over the years we have seen some next level bonkers food items at Walt Disney World. Who can forget the Pop Tart Sandwich, which had bacon and an egg-like substance in-between two Pop Tarts? Have you been to the All-Star resorts and tried the Cinnamon Bun Cheeseburger from the (thankfully) secret menu? Let’s be honest, we’re talking about a company which put out a line of baked goods in the form of animal feces. How do these foods get made? Well, thanks to the movie Elf, we now have an idea…
  –
# 2 – It’s A Wonderful Life Looks At Current Events
Christmas movies are often used as allegories for situations we deal with in every day life. What better film than It’s a Wonderful Life to explain the complexities of the recent Disney purchase of Fox?
“Now wait…now listen…now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. If we let Iger do this, there will never be another original movie built in this town. He’s already got charge of Star Wars. He’s got Marvel. He’s got Pixar. And now he’s after Fox. Why? It’s very simple. Have you forgotten when they tried to ban the LA Times because of unfavorable coverage? That blew up in their face, but don’t you think they’ll try again now that they’re more powerful and have more carrots to dangle in front of the press? With this merger, 5,000 -10,000 people are probably going to lose their jobs. 21st Century Fox will now have more shares of Disney stock than anyone else. These are the people who run Fox News. Can’t you understand what’s happening here? We’ve got to stick together, though. We’ve got to have faith in each other.
# 1 – If anyone wants to know what we think of a Marvel themed roller coaster replacing the opening day Universe of Energy dark ride…
To paraphrase Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation…
So there you have it: The SATURDAY SIX Looks At Christmas Through The Magic Of Movies! See you next weekend for the latest installment of the SATURDAY SIX, where we’ll look at something fun from the world of Disney and Universal. If you enjoyed yourself, be sure to check out The Magic, The Memories, and Merch! articles, or, for your listening pleasure, check out the E-Ticket Report podcast. You can also follow Your Humble Author on Twitter (@derekburgan).
The gift you didn’t want, but the gift you need.
If you enjoyed this article, you will surely like the following:
6 Pieces of Disney Merchandise That Don’t Exists (But Totally Should)
6 Times The Simpsons Nailed Being A Theme Park Fan
Walt Disney World Locations Used in Hulk Hogan’s THUNDER IN PARADISE
SATURDAY SIX Looks At Ways Disney Can Introduce MARVEL Into The Parks
The SATURDAY SIX Uses Disney Villains To Explain Theme Park Blogging
6 Times Our Favorite TV Shows Went To Walt Disney World
Special Thanks to crack staff photographer Brandon Glover,  the bio-est of all reconstructs @Bioreconstruct, master photo manipulator Matt Cleary, and blogger to the stars Megan Stump for their invaluable assistance with this article. Be sure to also check out Brandon on The Park Blogger podcast with goofballs co-hosts Aengus Mackenzie and LitemAndHyde , while fellow Potterheads may enjoy Meg’s work on the Central Florida Slug Club.
FINAL PLUG! Did you know The 2018 Unofficial Guide to Universal Orlando has a special edition of the SATURDAY SIX in it? Finally, someone came up with an actual reason to read a book. ORDER this baby now!
A SATURDAY SIX Look At Christmas Through The Magic of Movies! is a post from the TouringPlans.com Blog. Signup for a premium subscription today! Or get news via Email, Twitter, & Facebook.
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