#i went thorugh like five different writing styles in this

[narkinafive]

which starwars character has the biggest thot energy

there’s no possible way i can assign one thot to the entire seventy fucked up years of galactic history, so we are dividing it into pt/ot/st eras, as well as divvying it up by the varying degrees of thot; edgy, dumbass, and depressed

prequel trilogy

anakin is the dumbass thot of the prequels, of course. the man decided to have a secret marriage with an extremely high profile antiwar senator during the war in which he was a commanding general. maul is of course the edgy thot, as after his defeat and resurrection decided to become an anarchist and a crime boss, and also took out several million shares of galactic hot topic. now for depressed thot, this one is a little trickier; some would suggest obi wan, however i would say that he is more dumbass than depressed. if we are extending the prequel timeline to the swr era, then i humbly submit kanan as the prequels’ resident depressed thot, as evidenced by his post-66 alcoholic/sexual bender (but we are all grateful that he recovered from his alcoholism, yet kept the thottiness), or kallus, as an alternative

original trilogy

(surely we are all thinking of lando calrissian as some kind of thot, and he may very well be, but he is neither depressed, dumbass, or edgy; rather lando has SURPASSED such vulgar types, so we do not include him in this ranking out of respect.)

it may be controversial, but i argue that jabba the hutt is the dumbass thot of the ot (though perhaps “deranged” or “disgusting” might be better terms). for edgy thot, look no further than our dear dr. aphra, who is running around wild space with murder droids and awakening strange feelings in femme aliens around the galaxy im not up to date on dr aphra but i hope that’s what’s going on. ah but who is the depressed thot? well, dear readers, it is none other than anakin skywalker, once again, the man whose thottiness caused a 20 year totalitarian regime and a subsequent galactic civil war. his thottiness is so intense and wide ranging that he once again ranks as one of the galaxy’s biggest hoes, but this time as depressed rather than dumbass, as years of servitude to the shriveled, evil windbag of his master sort of put a damper on the whole “dark side reigning supreme” that he had been promised.

sequel trilogy

it seems that most of the thots are villains! this is true for dumbass thot armitage hux, who hated kylo ren so much that he was HONORBOUND to help the resistance solely to make kylo’s life that much worse (a noble cause, to be certain). this is also true for the edgy thot, who is that one alien gal who warned the first order that the resistance rolled up to maz kanata’s castle. but heroes, too, are more than capable of being thots. our sequel trilogy heroes are, sadly, not thots (though they are all disgustingly in love with each other (rose included)), but never fear! the st’s depressed thot, coming in with the incredible upset, is…………… griff halloran

unthinkable, you cry! unbelievable! but OHO dear readers, griff halloran is OOZING with depressed thot energies!!!! former imperial TIE, down on his luck racer in a backwater (literally) fueling station, fit silver fox???? like hello????

#i went thorugh like five different writing styles in this #bored ama #Anonymous #asks #they only fear me bc i speak the TRUTH #my posts