#i'm going to have to deal with GOD KNOWS HOW LONG of people dictating what has to happen

[bitletsanddrabbles]

I have seen exactly two posts on the new Downton Movie and I am already tired of the fan response.

Edit: Oh, and looking into it, it's still not actually official. Imelda Staunton just said it was going to happen. She could easily have been saying that because she was tired of being heckled about it.

#no i'm not excited #even a little #because even if i like it #i'm going to have to deal with GOD KNOWS HOW LONG of people dictating what has to happen #bitching about what they just know won't happen #and once it's out #i don't even want to think about it #just let me write my fanfiction and go away

[bettsfic]

How do you know when it’s time to move up from post it note, to index card, etc…? What if we can’t objectively dictate we improved or you are the kind of person who needs a lot of space from a work to even like it a little? This isn’t me trying to be extra I truly mean these questions.

And could you use the same technique of lifting small weights by writing a novel that isn’t as complex as I’d prefer

Responding to latest ask

but that's the challenge. learning how to love small, imperfect things. it's not about writing. it's about revising.

here's another analogy:

visualize yourself in a factory. this factory has a number of machines, and each one helps take a raw material and turn it into a finished product. you have to run all the machines. you know in theory how to create the product; it's a product you use so frequently that you're intimately familiar with it. and you want to make a big, intricate, beautiful version of this product, just like the kind you buy. the problem is that when you walk inside the factory, all the lights are off. you don't know how big the space is or how many machines there are.

you stumble around and find the first light switch. you approach the first machine. you have the raw material in your hand and you put it into the machine and turn the machine on. you want this thing to be enormous, so you shove a whole lot of the raw material into it. it takes forever, and the machine doesn't do a great job. like the first batch of pancakes, you have to throw it out. so you try it again and maybe this time the machine more or less does its job.

before you can find the next machine, you have to find the light switch. it takes a while, and you get tired quickly from carrying this huge amount of not-quite-raw material around, but you do and you put the material from the first machine into the second. the second machine mangles it. you have to start over. but that's not a huge deal, because you've already found the light switch. you return to the first machine, and this time you know not to use so much raw material because you don't know how the second machine is going to work. the third thing comes out even better, and when you return to the second machine--much more easily!--it does an okay job. okay enough to look around for the light switch over the third machine.

but you're so eager to make the thing that it never occurs to you to stumble around for an excessively long time finding *all* the switches. that seems like a waste of time when you're making so much progress with this machine right here, and anyway, knowing all that work you have ahead of you might freak you out, and so it's best for all that to stay in the dark until you get to it. and that's fine. god knows that's what i did.

there's one machine that just won't work. you need to fix it but you don't know how. so you leave the factory. maybe in your frustration, you burn it down. you find a new one. in this factory, you know from the previous factory to find the first three light switches before you begin, and make sure that weirdo machine from before is working fine. you also know to use a smaller amount of raw material so you can get through it faster and waste less in the long run.

do you see what i'm saying? when writers tell me they're disappointed in themselves for not finishing a novel-length project when they haven't even taken something shorter and simpler through the revision process, i just imagine them in a dark factory in front of the first machine, shoving in tons of raw material, not knowing how many machines there are or what they do or how to fix them when they break. you swear you'll take it through the whole factory on the first try by feel alone. some people think they can skip right to the final machine.

the light switches are important, because once they're on, they're on forever. that's what it feels like when you're ready to write a novel. you can see the full process lit in front of you. and even with all the lights on, it won't go perfectly, but you've worked with broken machine #4 before and you know how to fix it, or maybe you call in a repairman (editor) to take a look at it and give you some advice.

i've been writing for ten years, i have 1.5 graduate degrees in writing, i teach writing, i've been published and i've earned more accolades than i ever thought i would. and i still don't have all my lights on. i'm still taking raw material through the machines i'm familiar with, and i have enough lights on that starting all the way at machine #1 with new raw material, knowing how many machines there are and how long it takes, has become more daunting than it used to be.

i've gotten to the point where i'm happy with the product that comes out of my lit-up machines. i'm even happy giving it to others. but i'm missing that final machine that will turn it into a product that can be sold. a lot of writers think that last machine in the dark is overrated, and i'm inclined to agree. you don't need it, you know? it's more fun and satisfying taking new raw material through the process than it is to light up that last machine and put in an agonizing amount of work, when you don't even know if the product will sell. but here i am, getting closer and closer to finding the last light switch.

perfectionists know they're in a factory, but they don't know how big it is. they don't know what's ahead of them, and instead of turning on the lights and playing around with the next machine, finding out what works and what doesn't, throwing away raw material because they believe it's precious, they move into a new factory hoping that this one only has one really good machine, an intuitive one that they already know how to use, so they can turn on the light, shove in all the raw material, and the product will come out perfectly.

#writing advice #perfectionism #process #revision

[itsclydebitches]

Anyone else find it odd that we got this whole table of the dead deal when, really, just Penny would have sufficed? Putting aside the fact that Neo shouldn't know half of what happened to these characters (she's reading from the same script that let Oscar know the wording of Weiss' wish), more than half of this group means nothing to Ruby:

Lionheart she met twice, the second time when he was trying to kill her and her friends. Ruby didn't even fight him personally. He dies in another room, out of sight, and last we hear of him it's through Yang's fury that Ozpin didn't rat him out as a traitor to the whole world - an anger Ruby isn't shown to disagree with.

Roman is an enemy from six Volumes ago. Though Ruby was (understandably) shocked when he was eaten in front of her, the trauma of that has had zero impact on her and, as she points out to Neo in this very scene, she recognizes that she wasn't at fault for his death.

Ruby never had a relationship with Clover. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. They might have as team leaders, but they didn't. Ruby sat with him in a truck once, not talking to him, and then she didn't fight him at the end of the Volume because he was busy dying off in the tundra. Does Ruby know he was killed pre-Fall of Atlas? She shouldn't.

Ozpin, technically speaking, isn't dead. Or rather, I should say Ozma isn't. I'd better understand the choice to have him here if we'd learned anything about Ozpin himself - meaning, Ozma's host pre-Oscar - but we haven't. More importantly, I likewise would have bought his presence if Ruby had maintained her wholesome student-teacher relationship with him (RIP I miss those days. Oh my god I miss them!! I might have to write some moreRWBY fic just to have that again 😭), but now Ozpin is just the lying manipulator she only speaks to for exposition.

Ironwood is, you know... the villain? The guy we were supposed to despise by Volume's end because he was a crazy dictator hell-bent on bombing a city? The scene even keeps his ~evil~ prosthetic arm, emphasizing that this is villain!Ironwood, not ally!Ironwood. Ruby lied to him the second they landed, said 'fuck you' over the call to Penny, sent her friends to jump him while she made a wish, and didn't look back as she dropped a city on top of him. Oh, and then Yang reminded her that only #bad people re-think their choices. So, why is he someone whose death she'd feel guilt over?

The ONLY people who make sense here are Penny and Pyrrha, with Penny taking center stage as the death Ruby just found out about. She alone would have been enough: a magical, semblance Penny who reams Ruby out for letting her die, again, too busy getting her ass kicked by Cinder to be of any use. We might have even done something interesting with Penny's sword. You know, the real one Ruby had for all of ten episode minutes before she let a bratty Prince throw it away? Give me Ruby wielding her dead friend's weapon - because clearly the show wasn't willing to commit to a Crescent Rose aversion. Just have it be lost all Volume. Why was this armorer introduced again? Shouldn't she have done something with a lost weapon?? - until fake!Penny horrifically calls her out on it. How dare you use that? How dare you use it against me? Give me an actual battle where Ruby is torn between defending herself against something she knows isn't real and flinching from hurting the friend she just lost, taking hits she would have been able to block if she was putting forth her all, a bloody, Maiden battle that goes on long enough that it makes sense when her semblance breaks.

Then, suddenly, Penny grows kind... it's okay, Ruby... if you just let go, drink the tea, we can be together again. Wouldn't that be nice?

The issue of this suicide metaphor aside, we could have gotten something legitimately impactful. Instead I'm scratching my head over this suddenly using Crescent Rose again, fiery "If you're looking for an apology, you've wasted your time!" still a prodigy, didn't fight in the last battle, didn't even walk very far Ruby collapsing because she fell from a chandelier. Meanwhile, the emotional kicker is that she's getting beat up by... people she hates? Who she barely knew? Who aren't even technically dead? Oh no, I've slashed Oscar, who I KNOW is back in Remnant, presumably safe in Vacuo. I know Ruby is at her breaking point, but the combination of 'Come fight me, Neo, I'm perfectly able to see that I'm not responsible for Roman's death!' and the lack of connection between her and 5/7s of the guilt crew really falls flat. Either give me a Ruby who illogically, but honestly believes that her presence makes everything worse - 'You're right, Neo... I could have saved Torchwick... done something, but I just sat there...' - or a Ruby who is still able to distinguish between reality and guilt... up until the copy of her newly dead friend drags her to emotional hell and back. Now that I've been able to think about it for a bit, what we got feels downright weird to me - an excuse to bring back characters/get them in the new engine, rather than any compelling reasons for why they're there.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas #I *do* love the screenshot I grabbed though #aesthetically this is on point #Neo's eyes in each of their faces and her creepy little smile? #love that #too bad it's attached to such a bad scene

[invisibleraven]

I killed you in the Sims, I’m a terrible friend. for Flynn?

In between getting her fashion designer degree and managing Julie and the Phantoms, Flynn doesn't find herself with a plethora of free time. But in order to not go crazy from burnout, Julie suggests she take up a hobby.

"Maybe knitting? Luke's mom could teach you how."

And while Emily Patterson might have the patience of a saint, Flynn quickly learns that knitting is not for her, and abandons it after a few hours of attempting-and failing-at the perl stitch.

She's been banned from the kitchen after Carrie caught her trying to bake cookies at 500 degrees, so the culinary arts are out. She likes drawing, but given that is a huge part of her school, she doesn't find it exactly relaxing anymore.

:"Why not just play video games?" Reggie suggests. "I bet I could find you a cute little casual one-no shooting or galaxy saving involved."

So Reggie installs The Sims onto Flynn's computer, explains how to play, and tells her it has some design elements, but if she finds it too much like school he'll loan her his Switch and get her set up with Animal Crossing.

Flynn likes the design stuff-getting to make Sim versions of her friends, creating a mega huge house for them to live in (once Reggie taught her the motherlode cheat, of course) and making sure their needs are met.

It's relaxing in it's own way, to see how the little avatars interact and differ from their real life counterparts. She laughs out loud when SimJulie and SimLuke hate each other though, especially since her friends are getting ready to tie the knot in the real world.

However, Flynn also kind of likes the power to play God in this universe; dictating what all these little people can be and do. She makes Reggie a vampire for shits and giggles, knowing full well that he's petrified of them.

Only she forgets vampire lore, and has SimReggie go out on a gorgeous sunny day to tend to the flowers. And he immediately catches fire, burning right to a crispy pile of ash.

Reggie finds her crying over her keyboard a few moments later and rushes over. "Hey hey honeybear, what's wrong?"

"I-I killed yoooou in the Simmmmms," she wailed. "I'm a terrible friend! And an even worse girlfriend!"

Reggie looks at the screen where his Sim is naught but an urn, all his little Sim friends gathered around. "Did I at least go out cool like in a kitchen explosion or eaten by a giant Audrey 2 type plant?"

"What?" Flynn looks at him and sniffles, swiping at her watery eyes.

"Wait, did you do the whole let me drown in the pool by taking away the ladders bit?" Reggie asked. "Luke used to do that one all the time because I teased him about not knowing how to swim in real life."

"Luke doesn't know how to swim?" Flynn asked with a wet giggle.

"Well he knows now," Reggie admitted. "Me and Alex taught him because we wanted to surf and Luke refused to babysit the towel. He's still not great, but he can hold his own."

"Please tell me you have pictures," Flynn begged, gratefully taking the tissue Reggie handed her to clean her face.

"I might," he said with a sly smile. "If you tell me how I died."

"Oh, um... you got bit by a vampire and then burned up in the sun," Flynn finally admitted.

Reggie shuddered. "Well at least I didn't have to stay vampiric for long. Guess you'll just have to make a new me and add me to the household."

"Wait, you can do that?" Flynn asked.

"Sure, you can do lots of stuff," Reggie explained, showing her a few features she knew nothing about. "Or we could start from scratch and make a new family together."

"That sounds like fun," Flynn admitted.

"Just do me one favour?" he asked.

"Anything sweetpea."

"No vampires this time."

"Deal."

#filled prompts #ficlet #fleggie #julie and the phantoms

[allenvooreef]

For positive psychology ask! For Raiden: creativity, spirituality

For Alex: vitality, forgiveness

Thank you for asking! <3

CREATIVITY– How do they go about solving problems? What is something they enjoy doing so much that they can lose themselves for hours doing it? Pick an object in your space: would they know what it is, and if not how would they go about figuring it out?

Raiden has a very analytical approach to problems. He knows he's clever and relies on it eagerly. Very cued in to context clues in order to figure out unfamiliar things: what does the environment tell me, what can i gauge from people's behavior etc. I'm pretty confident he'd be able to figure out what a printer is based on the fact that it's in my work space, surrounded by paper and several misprints. Something he can lose himself in for hours is a good book - fiction or non-fiction, doesn't matter. He can also lose track of time listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about.

SPIRITUALITY– Do they connect with things greater than themselves, or do they find it daunting? Do they want to have an impact on the world around them (for better or worse)?

Valuing self-reliance as much as he does, Raiden has purposely stayed away from gods and higher powers. He knows they exist, because their influence is quite present in the world he lives in, but while he is fascinated by magic he would never want to deal with deities for it. Some creatures cannot be outwitted nor fully understood, and that makes them dangerous and best kept at a distance. As for things like fate, destiny or legacy, he has never concerned himself with those concepts much. In stories, yes, but not pertaining to his own life. He fully intended to live his life in the margins, hopping from one identity to the next, never leaving much of a trace at all. Now he finds himself on a path that might actually leave a mark on the world, and I don't think he's allowed himself any time to consider that. And as long as there is still a personal reason for him to be on that path, he conveniently won't have to.

VITALITY– Are they introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted? Are they more active or passive? What do they do to stay energetic? (NOTE: introvert does NOT mean they don’t like people, it means they need time alone to regain their energy for social situations).

Alex is an introvert; after dealing with patients all day she enjoys nothing more than retreating into her apartment with a drink and some trash tv. Now she's on a space ship where there's limited opportunities to be fully alone, but now that she's getting comfortable having her crew-mates share her space it's getting easier to share that down time.

FORGIVENESS– Do they obsess or linger on the bad things that someone did to them? Do they allow change to take place after they have been hurt, or do they fight against it? What negativities dictate or direct their decisions or life?

As someone who has been studying mental health care, Alex probably overestimates her ability to forgive. She can list all the reasons why holding on to anger doesn't serve you and how to learn to let go, and has encouraged many people to do so - especially living in a pretty bleak corporate-run, self-contained environment where there was no real chance of things changing. But now that they've left and there's this whole galaxy of possibility and change in front of her for the first time... if push comes to shove, I think Alex will be surprised to find a whole well of anger and hurt buried neatly in the pit of her stomach. And she might just find that there's some things you don't have to forgive and forget. Some things you have to shatter.

#these are great i love these questions #thank you for asking them <3 #it's nice to think about this kinda stuff #raiden #alex

[xshybutdeadlyx]

Just gonna be a big rant of word vomit.

Please note I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just kinda laying my feelings out.

I kinda wonder why I bother with Fandoms. I rarely act in any fandoms I'm hyperfixating over but for hazbin hotel I thought why not. But to the surprise of no one it is just like every other Fandom with backhanded comments always being tossed around. And most of it is centered around the character Alastor which I get but God it's giving me anxiety.

Like right now I'm seeing the a divide on the possibility of him having a kinship with the people of the hotel. Personally I think he does or more like did but he's going back to his roots of keeping everyone at an arms length and using them because of his defeat by the hands of Adam. But I personally think those feelings can resurface, but it's gonna be a battle to do so. But I am seeing a lot that people don't believe those feelings were ever there. He really is just a cold heartless bastard who has a God complex and is just mad he lost and that's it. And I feel like that is also correct. But I don't think that makes my hypothesis or how I feel I read the scene wrong? But I've seen people say "if you think this certain way then you are show illiterate and you don't know his character and IM the only one who understands him!" Like....OK? That's the beautiful thing about any piece of literature characters and scenes, anyone can interpret it in so may different ways and it doesn't make anyone wrong. So can't we all just have our own interpretation and just gush over it instead of scoffing at people who didn't see the same thing you saw?

As for shipping, that's a whole monster within its own. I personally don't think anyone is entitled to dictate what someone can and can't do with pixilated characters. I honestly very much understand that Alastor is a big deal considering he's aroace, and that doesn't get enough media representation. And I respect the hell out of it. But I'll also in the same breath say I'm a shipper. I love staticradio because I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers trope. In canon, I want Alastor to keep being the beautiful dick head he is that just has gossip tea parties with Rosie and just doesn't have those romantic or sexual urges. In fanon, though, anyone can really do what they want. I think as long as there aren't death threats or literal force being used to make the creator of the show force Alastor into a relationship I don't think theirs anything in fanon that should be taken seriously when canon is right there glaring everyone in the face. If people wanna keep the "relationship" one-sided? Awesome. If they want Alastor to smooch someone? Cool. They want him to rawdog or get raw dogged by someone. Hey, power to ya, just put it in the tags so people can steer clear of it if they don't wanna see that. I see many people saying it's erasure, but I just don't see how it's erasure when it's still there in canon. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can erase Alastor, who is a sassy aroace king. I can't say I don't understand the mentality, though. As a bisexual woman myself, I see fanfics where bi characters are labeled straight or lesbian/gay completely, ignoring that who they date doesn't make them, neither straight nor gay. It does sting and leave a bad taste but again they can say that, they can write all they want and if it's cathartic for them then ok more power to em because at the end of the day that character is still bisexual they didn't erase it. Usually, people are good at tagging, so if they do make them one way or the other, i dont read or look at the art. It's very easy to scroll down. Sometimes i see it repedidly, but that's what blacklisting is for too. There are many countermeasures. Plus, a lot of things are all in good fun or just canon divergence. People can be creative and play with different ideas. "What if a character was like that!?" "What if they do this!?" "What if this happened instead, and it changed their whole character!?" That's what's supposed to be fun about being in fandoms. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. You're allowed to not like something. But I don't think you're allowed to make other people feel like shit because they go against canon, or more precisely, against your views. I genuinely don't think anyone ever means disrespect. All they want to do is have fun and create along with like-minded individuals. You're allowed to not like something. Hell, I don't like Vox and Val together, and that shits canon, but that just means I ain't gonna actively seek it out. (I personally ship Valentino with a bug zapper.)

All in all I just want everyone to feel safe and just have fun because I've just seen so many people to scared, me included, to do anything in the Fandom in fear of getting attacked and that's mostly what's been really eating away at me. But at the end of the day, this IS the internet, and discourse is basically its bread and butter.

Like I said though this is mostly just a vent post but I wouldn't mind to hear others thoughts if you're willing. I know I just probably talked out of my ass for forever. At the end of the day we are just all apart of this silly little Fandom of silly little demon people and we should all just be having fun look at what we like, write/draw what we want. It's exhausting spending energy like anger and malice, we should just focus on the things that matter to us and the things we like and just enjoy it for however long the hyperfixation lasts. Nobody is wrong. Nobody is right. we are just creators or people on here to just escape for a little bit and connect with a show or characters that resonate with us.

Ok for reals this time peace ✌️ if you made it this far and actually read everything I had to say thank you, you're a trooper. I hope I didn't offend anyone since that was not my intent. I just had a lot of feelings and I'd rather we all get along then tear each other apart.

#hazbin hotel #rant #discourse #fandom #shipping #chatacter analysis #thought about just keeping this like a journal and not post it but fuck it

[citadelofmythoughts]

Not the other anon, but I figured that the whole point of the quest was to face the reality that Ozma's mission of uniting the world was basically total horseshit by his manipulative god, that ultimately it can't ever be achieved without being willing to deal with all of the systemic issues that existed before then (and arguably was also accidentally CAUSED by Ozma's creation of the present world order, which superficially preaches unity but promotes only the image of unity while ignoring and overlooking the problems that ensure division). This isn't to say that he's an evil villain all along, but it's plainly clear that he is proof that no single person/Chosen One should EVER be the one to dictate how to run the world, because his biases and flaws ensured that it'd be impossible to work out without serious gaps in the system showing up.

Salem at the end of the day might be one of the major provokers of the current problems, but she certainly isn't the cause of all of the issues. A big chunk of the problem lies squarely at the Gods' feet and the destructive aftermath of their egotistical temper tantrum, and as long as Ozma keeps on trying to accomplish his mission, his tunnel vision mixed with the flaws of everyone involved in the Ozma/Salem conflict ensures that the problem cannot be solved.

It's plainly clear that in order to really begin to fix anything will have to start from:

A) Getting Ozpin to recognize that his mission is impossible, and deliberately set forth by the gods to torment him and Salem (especially the latter) for daring to stand against them.

B) Getting Salem to stop fighting against the heroes by addressing the core of whatever her problems really are because I'm not convinced that she wants to really kill the world like Ozma thinks. That's just another person projecting their own feelings onto HER; I want it from HER mouth in her own words as to what it is she actually WANTS out of all of this, why is she going so far out of her way to stall Ozma at every opportunity. Not from Jinn, not from Ozma, not from Hazel, etc. HER. WORDS.

We are TOLD Salem is this or that by other people, but many little details of her actions don't really add up to the image of a tantrum throwing mass murdering wicked witch sorceress...

So ultimately I think the resolution to her will be to find out what the hell she actually wants, either by Team Remnant realizing stuff doesn't add up, or Cinder somehow provoking her into revealing her true goals.

C) Confront the Gods and put an end to the curses placed upon both Salem and Ozpin.

D) Make the effort to start truly addressing society's problems. This is admittedly something that sorta flits between B and D, because I think the heroes will have to face the fact that many of the problems they have fighting against evil ultimately comes from society's problems, and that neglect will play a big part in the upcoming arcs plot (because let's face it; Vacuo is pretty much where everything about the current world order's problems started, and it's now got Atlesian refugees, Vacuans on the verge of civil war due to the machinations of the Crown and Vacuo's deeply eugenicist social darwinist bullshit, and whatever Tyrian and Mercury are gonna do) but that they can't really begin to resolve the matter so long as Salem and Ozma are fighting each other.

Sorry if this is a bit of a mess, but I'm trying to keep it concise and also highlight the complexity of the situation at the same time.

I don't have anything useful to add to this. Still, interesting reading.

TBH I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it all so I'm just going to quote Ms. Belladonna. "I don't know how to make hate go away."

[kyemeruth]

Too little, too late?

It has been some months since I last posted here. A lot of things happened. Went back home to teach after studying for a year, organized a month-long training, volunteered for campaigns until the final days before our elections yesterday.

Last night I cannot sleep. I'm trying to sing Rosas in my mind, praying for a miracle. I've always prayed for a victory against the son of the dictator, even with the littlest of margins. However, we may be confirming what surveys have been telling us all along. My heart is pounding while I try to sleep. I've been fidgeting, feeling hungry and woozy at the same time. I tried reading but Marie Lu's Legend also deals with a plague and a torturous Republic. So I closed my eyes but here I am wide awake, typing words that seeks refuge and meaning.

I outlined the lessons I'd be recording and teaching for the next few weeks. Hoping I'd find yet another resolve to speak and resist; but also knowing that our state universities as bastions of academic freedom and expression are on the verge of losing it to a possible resurgence of the dictator's son. It is scary.

I wanted to cry, to let the tears flow; but even then, it won't. I'm holding onto the hope that our people's movement would translate into resistance, even at the slimmest numbers. I have not checked Twitter and closed messaging apps with my friends since 11pm last night. There remains a quiet hum in the streets, telling us that the days would continue.

Have our efforts been too little, too late? We did our best, to my mind. But maybe, the very disinformation I am studying has found fertile ground among many Pinoys. They remained disenfranchised and unheard, and so maybe, that message of unity have resonated, that promise of gold or even the aspiration of living a bit better took hold.

Time and again, we cannot blame such fervor. There's never that "bobo" vote. Our choices reflect our values and aspirations. The majority vote may be different from ours, but still this is the beauty and damnation of democracy: that we speak from the overflow of our hearts. Indeed, we cannot discount the fact that fraudulent activities and further disenfranchisement of voter rights have occurred. We must make every effort to demand accountability from these kinds of actions.

May be rambling here. Sleep evades me still. Later on, we must carry on; with greater resistance and charge even with fear beckoning us from behind. We must continue to teach in the face of historical revisionism; to deliberate and demand for critical debates instead of relying on propaganda speeches and evasive statements.

There are many stories that I've held onto amid these trying times. Frodo was ready to give up towards the end of The Two Towers, but Sam beckon us towards hope:

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness, and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something... That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for."

More recently, in my daily devotions, the Word of God asks us to hold on. The people of Israel found an honest and virtuous judge with Deborah. And last night, I found some grounding from Jesus' unfailing promise: that He delivers. Fear can be overwhelming, even the mighty David trembled; but God tells us to trust his power and deliverance. In the same thread, we must always thank God for leaders who deliver. He has overcome the world for His, and I trust His sovereignty in all these trying times.

#elections 2022 #philippines

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, March 4th, 2024!

6:18pm: A VERY successful day of doing fuck all nothing *guilt-freeeeeee* YASSSSSS I fucking love spring break without a dumbass man trying to dictate wtf I'm doing 🤣 I did NOTHING all day it has been absolutely glorious.

Meanwhile, lil man over there having a meltdown cryfest about "having to stop talking to me because it's causing fights with his gf" ahahahahahahh I'm sorry but like I just called him when he started texting me like ok say this shit over the phone and he was just crying blubbering clearly not doing well, saying how difficult this is for him blah blah blah.... And like I just didn't really feel bad or whatever for him, I wasn't really upset, I'm so over him and that part feels amazing. He is free to do whatever he wants and I'm free to do whatever I want. All I know is that 1) I'm positive that hello this isn't the last time we'll ever speak, god willing and such. 2) forcing someone to cut someone out of their life like that just breeds resentment and also it's like I'm the thing he can't have now so great lol. Such a healthy, non-toxic relationship amiright?? Go off y'all, bc I definitely want my partner micromanaging my life and making me feel upset like she is making him upset. Wow so glad I didn't have to deal with that emotional MESS jfc. It's so performative, it just feels like an act and none of it feels genuine like it's crazyyy. But whatever time goes on and time will tell ig. Those ppl that stay in an unhealthy relationship way too long or bc "they can't handle being alone with their own thoughts"..... Couldn't be me.... But it's a lot of people 👀

Also, couldn't be me having to worry about the "oh yeah I haven't taken my psych medication in like two weeks but I took it this morning and I'm really feeling it"..... Ok I'm literally a pharmacist and that's not how it works but, once again, go off King 😬 literally giving yourself emotional whiplash for why for what. **** Always requiring that you are the victim in a situation that YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO !! NOBODY GIVES AF WE HAVE ALL TRIED TO HELP YOU AND IT GETS OLD !! It's not cute to never fucking hold yourself responsible for the shitty things you do or have done to people, and people get tired of dealing with your abuse, even friends, it doesn't have to be a partner. You're exhausting to be around. It's a shame. He said he feels bad for all the shitty things he did to me, ok that's cool *I forgive you* (which I said again) but you still fucked me over time and time again so the sympathy is gone, empathy doesn't exist because I wouldn't do the shit you've done to me, so how can I even relate to your shitty behavior. All I can do for myself is forgive and move on bc you're unable to be helped now.

[negrowhat]

i have a question that may sound weird lol. i follow youre account and its clear that youre a big lgbt supporter. (idk if youre also lgbt sorry) i recently watched xoxo kitty. its a western k drama which has lgbt in it. there are 3 love interessts, and i always see myself rotting for the lgbt opinion. ( im one of the few) and i always ship the lgbt couples. i always just crushes on guys, but im never really interested in anything sexual , but when i thought about it, i would probably choose to be intimate with a girl this way (and not with a boy) maybe im bi? anyway the problem is that i always see a lot of homophobic comments. a and a lot are from religion people who are like "If youre gay you go to hell" "youre gonna burn in hell with the devil" and dumb stuff like that. tbh i dont believe in god or hell or anything like that, so it always is really delusional and dumb when i see such saying. also i doubt that beeing lgbt is something so bad that that would happen. like its not bad and not that big of a deal imo. also if you compare with how many psychos and criminals in this world. (i think in the show love victor, this was a thema before) but idk it still kinda affects me and sometimes i think about it. (im generell scared with the dead and everything) like i know there is generella lot of homophobia in this world. and im used to it, thought it hurts and makes me angry, but this hell thing is really affecting me a little to enjoy lgbt content and to go there with another girl (even thought i dont believe in stuff like that) i know this is long and a little silly, but do you have advise?

Hey Friend! I am a HUGE supporter of anything LGBTQ and I also consider myself drifting somewhere along the Bisexual spectrum. I'm not an overly religious person, but I'm not an atheist. I believe there's a higher power, but I'm not entirely sure what that is and I'm not too much worried about it tbh.

What I can say is that American Christians (I won't speak on any other religion because other religions are tied to culture) love to pick and choose what they deem sinful to justify their hate. Always screaming about people going to hell for being gay when they murder and commit infidelities like they're competing in the Olympics. Those are the fake Christians. And I personally believe Christianity is rooted in Anti-blackness but that's a whole other thing.

Real devout people don't push their religions or beliefs on to non-believers and non-conformers. Religion is supposed to be a personal thing because when people die they don't typically arrive on the other side with other people do they?

Also there's nothing inherently heterosexual about society and there never was. Non-hetero activity has ALWAYS been around, before some religions.

My best advice to you Friend, is if you don't believe in it then don't waste your time being worried about it. People can believe in Heaven and Hell all they want but no one knows what happens when the lights go out. And even if there was and your soul goes there, who is to say you actually get to experience it? That a person has cognition beyond death to witness such places as Heaven or Hell? People don't know anything but what their beliefs dictate.

If think you may want to be with a woman then that is no one's business but yours. If you want to date women (depending on where you're from) it's okay to explore it or not to explore it. That's completely up to you.

I have learned that sexuality is spectrum and realization doesn't always result in manifestation. You can be a bisexual person who has never dated the same sex or vice versa. It's a truth for you and you alone. You could be on the Ace spectrum or be Pansexual. There's fluidity in sexuality and it is free for you to get acquainted with whenever you are ready to.

Unfortunately there's going to be hate in this world. It's always going to be there. People tend to hate things they don't understand and are too afraid to try to understand. The only thing you can control is how you feel about it and how you react to it.

Also you can watch queer content for the sole purpose of enjoyment. It's ok. You don't have to have a reason to enjoy it but I think the enjoyment is better when you personally relate to the content. You don't need to justify it to anyone.

I hope this was helpful.

#sorry this got long #but i understand your hangups friend

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 5*

I feel like because this was dictated all the language seems off, but I don't know how to fix it! Please let me know if it doesn't sound like my..."voice", if that makes any sense?

Also YUP we might get through this whole thing tonight. Shut up if these are short chapters you're getting them all at once!

Tag List

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

Part 6

----

A few days later, you sent texts to everybody in the squad including Rafael to meet you for dinner at Forlini’s for a “special announcement”.

When everyone showed up they found you with Nathan. The both of you were hanging on to each other pretty heavily, making the squad confused, looking from you to Nathan to Rafael to back to him.

“Guys.. this is my boyfriend Nathan,” You grinned.

“Hello all, it’s so great to meet you!” Nathan gave a casual wave to the squad. “Y/N has told me so much about you all,”

“Really?” Fin raised an eyebrow. “Because she hasn't mentioned you at all,” He gave you a look.

“Well.. I wanted it to be a surprise, Daddy,” You nervously smiled.

“Was it that or did you not want some of us to know?” Fin asked, looking between you and Rafael, who looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable

“No I just didn't know how you'd react…” You said through gritted teeth of a fake smile.

“Oh my God,” Nathan whispered finally realizing who Rafael was.

“Baby.. you never mentioned that you were friends with the ADA!” He exclaimed, making the entire group stare in shock.

“He's a lawyer…” you nervously added. Rafael looked like he was going to be sick.

“It's such an honor to meet you sir really, you have been kind of an idol to me for a long time,” He stared goo goo eyed at Rafael, completely unaware that if he could legally kill him in front of all these people, he would.

“Oh my God,” you muttered. This was going worse than you thought.

“You know I would love to pick your brain sometime if you'd let me sir,” Nathan asked while trying to shake Rafael's hand.

Rafael looked from you to Nathan, to you to Nathan in a bit of a shock but he tried to hide it with an awkward smile.

“You know I really don't think that's a good idea,” you interjected, stepping in between the two.

“Actually you know I think that's a great idea. What was your name again-- Nate?” Rafael suddenly had his charm turned up 90, genuinely shaking Nathan’s hand.

“No I really don't think that's necessary,” You said your gritted teeth while giving him a look.

“Baby don't ruin this for me. He could really help my career,” Nathan whispered to you.

“I don't think you know what you're getting into Nate,” You whispered back while glancing at Rafael, who had an evil smile.

"Why don't you call my office and we’ll set up a meeting? Rafael pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to Nate, smirking at you.

“Sounds awesome!” Nathan beamed.

“Well enough of that let's eat,” Fin jumped in, trying to break the tension.

“Sounds good,” Olivia added as you all had dinner uneventful for the rest of the night.

-----

The next day you stormed into Rafael's office.

“What do you think you're doing?” You asked him.

“What do you mean?” He asked, acting oblivious.

“You know what I mean,” you narrowed your eyes. “What's your game here?”

“What game?” Rafael asked. Just because I want to help your “boyfriend” help his career suddenly I have a problem?” He asked.

“I think we both know that's not what's going on here,” you huffed.

“Why would it be anything other than that?” He kept his cool.

“I thought we've been through this, Y/N. We said we were friends, and I just want to do something nice for my friend,"

The word friend pierced your heart like a knife every time he said it you felt your heart breaking more. But that was stupid, because you had already moved on. You love Nathan, right? And Rafael was just trying to be friendly.

“All right fine,” you rolled your eyes. “Fine, help him. It'll be better for us anyway,”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Rafael asked suspiciously.

“Nothing that concerns you friend,” you enunciated, turning on your heels and walking out of the office.

----

The next few weeks Nathan worked under Rafael as an intern, and he was surprisingly loving every minute of it. Every day when he would come home you'd ask him if Rafael had been hard on him, and Every day he would assure you that it was just because he was trying to make him a better lawyer. But you knew better. You just really hope it wouldn't break him, or you.

Meanwhile, a representative from SMG records had been in the audience one night and asked you to come record a demo. You didn't want to say anything to the squad just yet because you didn't want to jinx it. But as you were in the studio recording your demo song, you couldn't help but wish they were there. Especially because you were singing “Caught In The Storm,” as your demo track.

As you sang the words you closed your eyes and drifted back to that night when all of this started. The emotions you felt, the excitement, the rush of emotions, and the way you looked at Rafael and it all came crashing down.

That moment changed your life. And you were pretty sure that it changed him too. But he wouldn't admit it, and you would accept that, and you were happy with Nathan now. You were in a very good place in your relationship, and you were beginning to fall in love with him.

And that was a good thing, right?

----

One day you were headed home from work when your phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N this is Katie from SMG records.”

“Oh yes, how are you?”

“Great. I just wanted to let you know that we loved the demo, and we would like to record a few more songs with you before I send it up to my higher-ups to see if they want to make a full album,”

“Are you serious? That's amazing!”

“It sure is, kid. I'll call you back later with the details,”

This time you picked up the phone and dialed Fin's number immediately.

“Daddy they want to potentially record an album!” You squealed.

“No way baby girl!” Finn cried that's amazing.

After you talked for a few minutes you hung up. You started to dial Rafael's number to tell him the good news, but stopped before hitting SEND.

Why was he the second person you wanted to tell? You should be calling Nathan. You dialed Nathan's number instead.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby I'm sorry to disturb you at work”

“It's fine sweetie, I'm just here with Mr. Barba filling out paperwork,”

Your heart began to speed up.

“Oh…, then I'll be quick. The record company called me and said that they want to record a few more songs, and potentially make an album!”

“Oh my God baby that’s amazing!!! I'm so happy for you!!” Nathan exclaimed. You could hear him tell Rafael the good news in a muffled voice.

You wished you could see the expression on Rafael's face in that moment.

Was he happy?

Was he happy for you?

Surely he was. You hadn't really spoken to him since Nathan started his internship because you didn't want to make it worse for Nathan.

But all you wanted to do at that moment was see Rafael's face and hug him and have him tell you he was so proud of you. It made you want to start crying.

“Well okay I'll let you go,” You said with tears starting to choke your throat.

“Are you crying, baby?” Nathan asked.

“Oh yeah, but just because I'm just so stoked!” you lied, wondering if Rafael knew you were lying if he heard you. you wondered if Nathan knew you were lying. Rafael would know you were lying, he always did

After you hung up, Rafael smiled at Nathan. “So she got her record deal?” He asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah I guess she did, Nathan smiled back like an idiot. “I'm so happy for her! Things are really starting to look our way,”

“Yeah.. that's great. I'm really happy for you both,” He lied, feeling his heart break more every second.

#rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu fanfiction #caught in the storm

[donnyclaws]

So in ritual abuse regarding cults there's such a thing as programming where they make the person act in certain ways via mental manipulation n such that they cannot control (idk if I'm explaining it well) did Aran go thru programming? Do they still deal with it to this day?

definitely! i only have more general ones atm but there'd be a lot of smaller daily life changes for control reasons like that too.

bigger ones are that kids raised in the cult fully believe the outside world is a dead void, and adults who came in and HAVE seen the outside also fully subscribe to that. the cult runs off the idea that since demons don't have a core god they're not meant to be in the world at all. they prey off people's feelings of isolation and struggle. they have their own rewritten history, they keep knowledge of the outside very limited and in the hands of authority figures/those in charge of supplies.

the manifests and the physical issues they cause upon viewing are also used to keep people in this position. especially since those symptoms are passed down to the next generations. it can show up in anything from physical health issues/seizures/a permanent sense of confusion ect ect. recent kids are running on layers of this at this point.

they're very strict about marriage roles being between a woman and a man and having someone clearly acting as the wife and someone acting as the husband ect ect. there are exceptions tho! aran's other father, Tobias, was slot into a wife role for deacon due to lack of unmarried women in the cult. they are fairly homophobic but their need to maintain their Roles tends to outweigh context, as long as there is a wife and husband they can ignore everything else ect. gender presentation tends to be less strict outside of marriage, there's plenty of people like Tobias who are obviously gnc in their presentation.

they have a style for their uniforms that dictates their role in the cult but that tends to be colour based and outside of that u can style them how you like. they only get one each, the further u move up the more u can move onto a more personalized outfit, often more dramatic. authority figures wear more white/have more buttons. as a rule the more authority you have the more you can break these rules, expressiveness in clothing is almost reserved for them only. Aaron, who's very high up in the cult, wears a variant of the base outfit with no white to make himself seem more humble/down to earth ect ect.

THIS IS GETTING SO LONG HELP

basically the cult controls physical and mental health via the manifests symptoms, destroys the idea of escape entirely, makes it so only those in positions of power can fully express their personalities and strictly controls how one behaves in a marriage. they're taught to worship the manifests and often know their faces via the genetic symptoms from their parents, but are kept at a distance from them to maintain fear and mystery.

ALL THAT TO SAY YEAH ARAN GOT PRETTY MESSED UP BY IT. he's the prodigy kid of the cult's leader so he was victim to far more of that programming than most. he struggled raising his kids because he had no sense of what a regular childhood was, only really running off what he Knew to be bad and upsetting and what he knew to be love from tobias. misses out a lot of behavior in between that's neutral and not entirely normal.

#long post

[partytilfajr]

Salaam! My question is that since I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm starting my marriage search soon (I'm a woman) I want to know if i can ask the person I'm getting to know about their previous relationships? If they're a virgin? All of that stuff basically. I read that if they've repented for their sins they don't have to answer these questions or they can just lie and say no since they've repented, but as a potential/future spouse isn't it my right to know?

Wa alykum as-salaam!

So, Dar Al-Ifta Al-Missriyyah has written about this question, extensively, though it must said that the question they are answering is about a man asking about a woman about her status. You can read that answer here.

They write something that is important to note, as I want to underline that many times we fuse the rationale of larger society with the opinion of our Muslim leaders. In the opinion, they write this to conclude:

As for the claim of some men that they have to know if their future wife has fell into a sin or not is a corrupted opinion as it promotes declaring sins, revealing what God concealed, pursuing people’s pitfalls, and thinking ill of people which are all prohibited in Islamic law. As a matter of fact, there is no relationship between the loss of virginity and between adultery as this relationship only existed due to some cultures which do not see any problem when the man commits adultery whereas when the woman commits the same crime she is stained with shame and disgrace.

I just wanted to highlight that this double-standard that exists for women underlines to problems of our societies, and that Islam does not seek to enforce or encourage the hypocrisies that pervade society.

So, in short, yes, you should not be asking people about their status. The only time that people should be disclosing those sorts of things is if it impacts you. So, if someone has an STI, that will impact their partner, and so it should be disclosed.

I am quite aware that the standards for men and women are different, to put it kindly.

Boys expect their future wives to be virgins, while girls hope that their future husbands don’t have something. This is the double standard within our communities (Muslim or not) and it’s exhausting and annoying. I get it.

So Dar Al-Ifta, again, gives you the legal rationale, and again, they are writing about protecting the reputation and the value of a woman, since cultures have used sexism and misogyny to control women’s bodies and to stigmatize women for mistakes that they turn around and applaud men for.

My sense is that we have used this ruling as a way to protect sisters, but that we do not expect to use these same rulings for our brothers. I get why we do that, it’s an Islamic ruling that retorts and slaps away the sexist-fueled obsession with women’s bodies and the double-standards imposed upon women.

If I’m honest, I think most men tend to disclose these sorts of things, and many of them are not aware of this ruling--not anywhere close to the awareness of our sisters. I understand why sisters expect virginity, they’re like “hey, I waited, so should you.” I’d like to underline that there are more brothers that have waited, I’m not going to lie to you, I did not think it would be that high. Which is kinda sad, but I think you get what I’m trying to say.

Now, again, I think most people tend to disclose their pasts, both men and women, and I think they do this out of trust and love for the person they are talking to. I would counsel Muslims to not only take this sort of disclosure as a trust that they should keep to themselves and understand that whatever happens between you two, that you keep that information to yourself. I also think that both men and women tend to write people off for making mistakes.

First of all, we all make mistakes. The issue here is that we only have sympathy for people who sin the way we do. To be a “good Muslim” among Muslims, you don’t drink, don’t smoke, and don’t have a (public) girlfriend/boyfriend, and you’re a good Muslim. Our concern is centralized on discovery, so as long as people don’t know we do these things, we are fine.

We all make mistakes, the thing is, we are not defined by our mistakes, but what we do once we make them. Do we seek to rectify them? Or do we allow them to fester, do we seek help, do we try to fix what we’ve done?

The problem is that we fixate on sins that deal with our concerns vis-a-vis our place in society. The Prophet is reported to have said:

O those who embraced Islam with your tongue and its flow did not reach your heart yet. Don’t inflict harm on Muslims, don’t belittle them and don’t pursue and dig for their pitfalls as whoever digs for the pitfalls of others, God will dig for his own pitfalls and declare it before people… [Tirmidhi]

Now, I know you feel it is your right to ask this question. The ruling I’ve linked above. Just to speak plainly, I tend to believe people disclose this fact, regardless of the ruling--that’s just my sense in dealing with this concern quite often. I’d underline that you treat a brother as a human being here. Our world is filled with prejudices, sexism, misogyny, and all sorts of inequities too innumerable to list here. Of that, there is no doubt. When you are sitting across from another person, they are a human being--and yes different people benefit from these inequities and have various privileges--but I suggest that you treat the person across from you as that: a person.

We cannot abstract human beings. Our boys benefit from double standards--in that they are able to get away with things socially--but those double standards condemn them to facing the reality of their sins. Brothers cry to me about their mistake, it’s not just sisters, and yes, the brothers (if discovered) will face far less than if a sister was discovered, I am not questioning that, nor am I even debating it, I’m saying, just treat the person across from you as a human being.

People are going to ask and people are going to answer, but I ask you to show compassion for someone who is offering you a window of their vulnerability. We often look at potential spouses as products, with check-lists, like we are comparison shopping for a car. They are human beings. I’ve seen the dumb stuff boys write on Twitter, with their dumb jokes, talking about trust issues over a girl wearing makeup or whatever, and yes, they are cringe. I will try and petition Al-Azhar to make corny bro jokes haram, or at least makruh.

You are going to ask regardless of what I write here, and people are going to answer regardless of what they read, because they want to be honest, and it breaks my heart. People just want to be loved. That’s why they are reaching out. It’s why they laugh at dumb jokes. It’s why you stalk people on social media, because you want to reach out to someone else, to have someone love you and accept you, for, well you.

So I get why people respond and answer these questions, I know why people ask them, and I think the Islamic answer is there, and while the central framing of the Islamic answer is to protect women, their honor, and their place in societies that do not treat them with the respect and understanding that they should get for simply being a human, and that disconnect is violently enforced through sexism and misogyny--and Islam seeks to protect women from that human-made reality that contravenes the dictates of Islam. It is a failure of the test by God, on our collective society, that we create these inequities--for God demands justice, and our social norms are reflections of whether we truly believe in God or not, and when women face these barriers and prejudices, it means that our society has failed that test.

After writing this much, I asked myself: ‘why are you writing this much, Osama?’ I think because I have seen such a lack of compassion in our community, and I feel like we have taken religion and twisted it, but we are only aware of our rights and not our obligations, and that creates a very twisted way in dealing with religion and God--and then I thought about how consumerism fuels that self-centered understanding of God, so that religion really only has value as it pertains to our personal desires, rather than in improving our actions, softening our hearts, and in introspection so that we may work to improve society, starting with ourselves.

Anyway. My point is this: regardless of the rulings, you’re probably going to ask, they’re probably going to answer. If you can’t forgive someone because they made a mistake, then ask yourself why.