#i'm just out here making everyone aro tbh

[adaines-furious-feast]

I know this will never be canon but Fabian? Also aro, but much more dedicated to hiding that to the point of over compensating while also not knowing how.

#which is why he's so close to Riz #because he sees someone aro being open and happy with that #and he's convinced *he's* not aro because how could he be #he's Fabian Seacaster son of Bill Seacaster #who's fucked everyone and he's going to be like his papa #and the fact he's supportive of Riz shows he doesnt have internalised hatrid for ace/aro #he can tell himself #or idk #i'm just out here making everyone aro tbh #fabian seacaster #dimension 20 #fantasy high

[camptv-era]

Ace-Aro DJ

I was starting to skim Island for headcanon proof and I didn't even have to go far for it!

"Not So Happy Campers Part 1" has this:

Duncan's remark of "She's all yours, man." Makes DJ give this face.

Yeah, the point of this scene could be 'blah, blah. Eva is undesirable' but we were just shown that Cody was trying to flirt with her too, and Duncan himself was turned off by her attitude/strength.

Then, Justin is announced! Everyone's surprised or delighted to see him. Everyone except...

Even Duncan whom I headcanon as closeted bi is surprised.

DJ is the only one who makes two faces in this scene-- confused and then frowning. (Coincidentially, I'm also an aromantic Justin truther, but he's not who this post is about.)

Now this scene!

In "X-treme Torture", the way Bridgette disproves DJ is the one who wrote that mystery haiku is... him deflecting.

...now that I'm typing this out, it feels like I can't word this well, but I hope you guys feel the same aro vibes I do in that particular interaction.

(We also need more smug DJ and DJ with bite moments tbh!)

No pictures for these next two examples of proof, since they're dialogue-based.

In "Up The Creek" DJ offers romantic advice to Geoff by comparing it to something he knows, that is, luring in a rabbit to feed.

In World Tour's Japan episode, he compares Alejandro's smooth moves being irresistible to his mom's gravy.

I think DJ is romance+sex repulsed, but he clearly has a thorough understanding of it. He was raised by two people in love!

He's emotionally mature and well rounded in physical activities too. His moms raised him well! He just feels uncomfortable when people make romantic remarks/advances toward him.

He has no qualms in affectionate touches or contact. (See also: my DJ+Lindsay Friendship post!)

Except, when there's a romantic or sexual layer added to it:

In this case (Action's "Aftermath II"), Geoff suggested off-screen that Gwen was being cozy with DJ when he just saved her life! He's clearly bothered by it, even though he was just talking pleasantly with Gwen.

In "Newf Kids on the Block" there's also that hot dog scene. (I've hit the picture limit TwT,) When Owen hits on DJ for Noah to try and get him into a alliance with Team Chris, DJ makes this face again.

Yeah, yeah there's the gay joke here, but given DJ's character we know thus far: chill, kind and soft-hearted. He wouldn't be homophobic.

(Again, even if it was accidental or fanon, he has two moms. Plus, he's been shown to accept things more easily than others, like being on good terms with Gwen in Action after the Trent ordeal. I highly doubt someone's sexuality would deter DJ from being nice, if morality or social pressure doesn't.)

Anyway, though. It serves to add to my point. He's made that face (or one similar to it) when it comes to romantically suggestive situations!

He's also one of the only campers (if not the only one, I'm not really thinking hard about the other 99 contestants.) whose storylines have never revolved or included attraction in any way.

In conclusion: aro/ace DJ. 💙

#Total Drama #DJ #Headcanons #Asexual #Aromantic #TDWT #TDA #Action #World Tour #Island #TDI

[welcometoteyvat]

waterborne poetry reactions (belated) (long post)

XINGQIU GOT FUCKING SMASHED IN THIS EVENT. BULLYING XINGQIU HOURS I LOVE TO SEE IT (affectionate)

bro got roasted for his handwriting, is Baffled by the mondstadters, then spends an entire day missing out on [whatever that was] and STILL DOESNT HAVE A CLUE WHAT HAPPENED HAHAHA im sorry i love bullying him

please never tell xingqiu whats going on it's payback <3

CHONGYUN DIONA AND MIKA. i need to hold them omg,,,, i was using freminet to wander around so in my heart they r just 4 cryo kids in a terrarium what will they do!! that combo was quite cute

CHONGYUN YANG MODE?!?!?!?!?! ON SCREEN??????? WAAAAHHHHHHHHH

he was adorable ;;;;;___;;;;; his little eye sparkles and the jumping T_T also the near-rap speed that his lines were delivered in was hilarious (thank you kinsen for ur service)

my son.... please never feed him chilis again

CHONGYUN IMPACT. that's all

now full of unfounded hope that chongyun will someday get an event about his pure yang spirit since they mentioned it a fair few times here

give him the deep lore he deserves

also XIAOYUN?!?!?!?! (only seeing what i want to see) THEY TALKED!!!! IN PERSON ON SCREEN THEY TALKED AND XIAO WASNT DISPARAGING!!!! im sorry this is what a rarepair with no food does to a mf

xiaolumi so strong (or xiaother if u prefer)

oughguhguhg the rhyming couplets part was SOOOO CUTE!! idk they did good with the pacing of the banter i think 🥺

adding onto that the camera angles and cuts this event were actually really nice and creative i think. they made it more engaging (the quick pan from chongyun to xingqiu at the end of the 3rd act, hu tao popping out from behind venti's shoulders during the couplet exchange, etc) it was REALLY good really funny. added to the experience a lot <3

Also venti zhongli are truly the most archon old friends ever

that cutscene was actually so pretty. It's drawn in the same style as Lyney's: very textured lines, slightly reminscent of linocuts, quite a few handdrawn parts, especially where there's water/liquid movement present, etc. Maybe this is a Fontaine style animated cutscene, since the oceanids and lyney are both from there? anyways. i'm intrigued—I wanna see if there are regional cutscene styles or something (that'd be very impressive)

the "close ur eyes paimon/diona" line was so fucking funny. traveler's been the third wheel a bunch of times but never this explicitly

also ! for people icked out by the morality of kid finch's crush on the oceanid: it is Fiction with a capital F

on the one hand I agree with the above sentiment, but it's also just funny to think about. first canon monsterfucker ? /JJJJJJJJJJJJJ don't kill me for that joke

Real thoughts: I think it was actually really sweet how he fell in love with a fairytale. Someone said the oceanid could've been aromantic coded to make their love story more morally palatable; I agree, it would've been cool if she was aro, but I don't think their romantic relationship is like somehow terrible and gross either

overall ending was really mid tbh, I appreciate the character growth of everyone who was on screen but literally all the other characters just disappeared. It was really unsatisfying lol especially for an event that was supposed to be hte gathering/unison of mond and liyue

would've been better if the second day's rhyming couplets ended the event I think; you'd have to tweak it to fit the mood of the oceanid/finch reveal but literally anything works, the ending was so anticlimactic

overall event: 10/10 for giving me the character interactions I wanted, and those that I never knew I needed, 5/10 because the minigames are. not the best, I get the intentions but the execution could've been better. And then 5/10 for story arc (heavily influenced by how mid the ending was LMAO)

I want to go through all the poems and their english translations because I Know somethings gonna get screwed up and I'm also just curious as to how they translated it

#oh also. chongyun diona something i never knew i needed #very disappointed that hu tao disappeared though!! like come on even how they wrote her out was so lazy #same can be said for xq and noelle though like thats foul 'oh theyre just busy' LIKE ???? WHY WERENT THEY BUSY YESTERDAY #ramblings! #liveblog insanity #waterborne poetry #4.1 spoilers #genshin spoilers #event spoilers #waterborne poetry spoilers #genshin impact #xiaoyun

[oscconfessions]

Sigh... I'm gonna add my two cents about the Balloon arospec drama(I'm AroAce BTW) and by my two cents I mean I'll mention it two times and just talk about something else related. I'll also be providing some knowledge about AroAceness and all that.

For those of you who don't know,

Aro: Aromantic - Little to no romantic attraction.

Ace: Asexual - Little to no sexual attraction.

Aro+Ace are spectrums and aren't just "every Aro person doesn't feel any kind of romantic attraction" or "every Ace person can't feel sexual attraction." I feel as tbough people forget that all the time so I wanted to remind you lot haha.

I'm noticed this kind of drama a few times, where people argue about a character on where they are on the AroAce spectrum. It's difficult for me to put what I think into words here, but if a character(either canon AroAce or not) doesn't have a canon placement on the spectrum then whatever, go wild.

To help with my previous statement, I'll use SakiK from... SaikiK. People generally agree he's AroAce, yet people argue about where he is on that spectrum(mainly the Aromantic part). Since it's not ever stated where he is on that spectrum(or even if he is AroAce but SHHHSHSHHSH 🤫🤫), everyone has their own interpretation of it.

I believe it should be the same for Balloon, unless Balloon comes on screen and says "I am *insert very specific thing here* " as he points to a picture of the Aro spectrum then its to to you. Obviously, don't make him a sex crazed fiend or constantly searching for love, you eejit, but it should be up to interpretation.

A little off-topic here, sorry, but I wanted to bring up umbrella terms in both the Aro and Ace spectrums(I'm included ace because eh why not! This is for my people who HC Balloon as Aro AND Ace 🙏🙏)

Here are some terms under both the aro and ace spectrums. I feel as though you guys and many, MANY others tend to forget that there are umberlla terms for AroAce. I'll define them below:

Ace umbrella:

Aceflux: someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum

Greysexual: only experience sexual attraction some of the time, and sometimes not at all.

Demisexual: An individual who does not experience sexual attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Aro umbrella:

Aroflux: someone whose romantic orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the aromantic spectrum

Greyromantic: Some may feel a strong emotional connection with others but do not desire romantic relationships, while others may feel a weak romantic attraction to some people but not all.

Demiromantic: An individual who does not experience romantic attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Now, there are MANY more, feel free to add in the replies or the reblogs (o: !

Also, my apologies that this post was very long! Also also, my personal opinion on Balloons arospec thing? Idfk, lmao. TBH, this was kinda an excuse to just talk about stuff I like and am interested in so... 👍I've seen the tweet where one of the people who worked on II said yes, Balloon is meant to be Aro, but I couldn't tell you if they went into specifics about it. Sorry for constantly saying AroAce instead of just aro for Balloon, I felt like it was still important to include all my asexuals out there and educate others about it.

(BTW! Any inaccurate info, PLEASE, PLEASE correct in the replies)

Anyway!

TL;DR:

If a character who is just stated to be AroAce(not demi, grey, flux ETC) and never has their place on the spectrum explained whatsoever, it's okay to have a little fun experimenting with it IYKWIM. As I've stated, we all have our own interpretation of the AroAce character and there's no point arguing about it and getting mad because that's fucking stupid, unless they start actively getting rid of the AroAce rep then burn them to the stakes! /j

I know how wild you mother fuckers can be, so don't shank me please. If you disagree, take a deep breath and remain calm because getting all pissy about this isn't gonna do shit. Try to go about it calmly and reasonably. <3

I'd love to see others' opinions on this, remember to be respectful! 🩵

.

#confession #/ii #/ii/balloon

[asexual-society]

I needed another ace's opinion on this or I was gonna go crazy. I feel so alone.

My best friend is allo and recently started to go to therapy. His therapist told him something to incinuate that my advice about romantic relationships was less valuable/productive because "our brains work differently" because I'm ace and he isn't.

He's upset that I'm upset about it when I believe this is just benevolent aphobia. I see it the same way as someone telling a straight person not to take advice from a gay person. Am I just making a big deal out of nothing? Why is my opinion less important/applicable because I don't have the same experience as someone else?

I personally don't think an aro or ace person's advice on relationships is less valuable just because our brains work differently or our experiences are different, I mean, for most other topics, asking someone impartial for advice is completely normal, even if you take that person's advice with a pinch of salt because they don't have firsthand knowledge of the situation. I've had my opinions and advice belittled countless times and I know how hurtful it can be, and there are times when someone's opinion on a subject is totally useless because they're not informed about it, but this isn't like asking your friend who can't drive for advice how to parallel park or your American friend about British politics,, culturally and socially we are fed a LOT about relationships all the time for our whole lives, even without firsthand experience, we absorb a lot of information, and that's not even accounting for the things we have actively sought out, or the experiences of aspec people who have been in relationships.

I understand that we might not fully understand how it feels to be allo and want relationships of whatever kind in the same way, but a lot of (not all, I'll grant you) ace and aro people know as much or more about aspects of sex and romance than your average allo purely on the basis of having had to learn about it ourselves, and I think we have incredibly valuable insights into relationships that are generally overlooked by people who take for granted that everyone feels the same way about sex and romance. Maybe my confidence is unearned, but I'm still here giving advice to strangers on the internet, and people keep asking for it, so someone must think my opinion is worthwhile, and if I can't give someone the advice or help a person needs, I'll just say that. The number of allo people who have terrible relationships and then give out terrible advice because of it is crazy, like. genuinely there's some actively dangerous advice being pedaled by allos, I think on average an ace or aro person acting in good faith can give advice of a similar quality to your average allo person's.

By the therapist's same logic you can't trust them with advice about how aspec people are, in fact you can't trust them to give advice about any mental or physical illness or disability they don't experience, which is obviously not how therapy works. Tbh, I'd argue that unless a therapist is aspec themselves or has been given decent training about aspec people, which generally speaking, they aren't (although there are some good ones), anything they have to say with regards to us is even less "valuable or productive" than what an aspec person thinks about relationships.

There will always be aspec people who give terrible advice, and trust me, I have heard some terminally online or just downright ignorant takes, but I've heard just as bad, if not worse from allo people, and acting like we're the problem sucks.

~ mod key

#asks #anon #just my little rant of the day #sorry folks #asexual #mod key

[charlesinferno]

Everyone thinks will is Trans but let's be honest here; Frankie I'd trand while will's genderfluid. I don't make the rules

OIGHHGE you just reminded me to post my Queer HCs i fucking forgor

Creeps HCs (Queer edition oooo)

Laughing Jack

I honestly can see him being aroace and non binary. The idea of gender is one that isn't like deeply pushed upon his kind, he's a children's toy and that's what he sees himself as. Boy? Sure, Isaac's a boy, he can call himself that too

Girl? Why not

he sees himself as a toy, a children's toy. Made for entertainment, and friendship.

William Grossman

The reason i see him as a trans guy is cause 1) i am trans myself, 2) i can see him wearing clothes like Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad or Marshall Lee, he got the top surgery and his scars look pretty sick 🔥

TbH this headcanons is also heavily tied with Isaac because i like making SO many connections between those two. He's very proud of his gender and how he looks like, and he loves how he has Jack to make him company! Jack helps him get shots lol

Oh and he's also a bisexual disaster but doesn't get many bitches

Isaac: get a girlfriend Will!

Laughing Jack: or a boyfriend, he's bi!

Isaac: Damn nobody want u fr 😭

Laughing Jack: That's what i'm saying like 😭😭😭

Will: ;-;

Frankie The Undead

Ok it first started as a silly headcanon inspired by other people's but now i can actually see it

I see this man as a trans man, and a gay man. This man has been kissing dudes since the 40s. He used to have this lover back in the 40s he always wrote letters to, they've all been burned but he sometimes remembers those times. (Also this is the willfrank shipper in me talking but his past lover looked awfully similar to William)

He's also trans because i love transmasc characters that are old i love it. He doesn't bind because he doesn't feel like it, being fat also helps lmao. He loves his body, he just fucking hates the stitches <33

Isaac Grossman

I can't decide if this guy is aro, gay, or bisexual, he's too queer for me. YES, the guy people see as queerphobic is ironically the most queer in my eyes. Imagine the repression he went through from his teenage years to adulthood, the loneliness. He only had one person that could understand him, and it was Jack. With time he forgot he was ever accepted, as he forgot Jack.

He never found any "true love", but there was a man that sticked with him even after death.

Also, yeah, i think the biggest change i gave to his original story is that he's AFAB. How does Will exist? Well, only children weren't exactly common for poor families in the 1800s England. The isolation he felt most of his life, the constant struggle of thinking, knowing, that out of everyone around you, you're alone on this one.

Jack, again, was the only place he could've feel safe, if they just didn't kill that cat. What could've been.

This man is TRAUMATIZED and my angsty teen ass is the culprit

#★. postz #isaac lee grossman #isaac grossman #william grossman #will grossman #frankie the undead #frankie creeps #laughing jack #creeps comic #lgbt headcanons

[impishtubist]

Just popping by to say 1) thank you for all your Sirius Black content, so good to see canon accurate Sirius who loves his godson and is a fantastic godfather. 2) Do you have any thoughts for how it would have gone if Wormtail hadn't escaped and it proved Sirius innocent? I just think you'd have a really good take on that and I didn't see anything looking through your blog. 3) Aromantic Sirius as a platonic life partner with Jilly (or just James, tbh, really but Lily is there, chilling) Thoughts?

Thank you so much! I'm always happy to talk about canon Sirius and how much he canonically loves his godson! I know everyone is here for the Wolfstar, but like I've said before, Sirius didn't break out of prison for Remus (and never would have). It's also stated canonically that Harry is the person Sirius cares about the most, not Remus. Yeah, yeah, I know, fuck canon and all that, but you have to have some canon as a foundation when you're writing fanfic. Otherwise you're just writing original stories with the names Sirius and Remus slapped on them. Anyway, Sirius loves Harry the most <3

I do have many thoughts about this! Unfortunately, most of those thoughts are contained in a 30K Raising Harry fic that I've since removed from AO3. But if Wormtail hadn't escaped that night, Sirius would have gotten his freedom and immediately petitioned for custody of Harry. He would have fought tooth and nail for it, fuck what Dumbledore thinks is best. He would have gotten it, too, and he would have figured out a loophole to keep Harry out of the tournament, and he also would have solved the whole Horcrux thing, rendering the last two books pointless. Honestly, JKR had to keep him from getting his freedom and then kill him off because he was too damn smart and would have ended the series after book 4.

I'm always intrigued by aro and/or ace Sirius! I also don't think Sirius was all that close to Lily or cared about her that much. Yeah, she wrote a letter to him once, but also he was her husband's other half and her son's godfather, she couldn't exactly ignore his existence. He was ALWAYS going to be part of their lives, so she might as well make peace with it. I am totally on board with a situation where James is with Sirius (whatever that means to you - romantically, sexually, queerplatonically, etc) as well as Lily (but Lily and Sirius are not involved with each other.) Even better, I'm here for a situation where James is cheating on Lily with Sirius ;) If it was anyone else, I don't think Sirius would put up with being someone little secret, but when it's James, I think he likes it just fine. Or it might not even be that much of a secret - he's sleeping with her husband and doesn't care if she knows or not. I'd actually kind of like him to flaunt it, now that I think about it.

Sorry, that last one ran off the rails right into toxic territory, but if anyone has a fic rec like that, give it to me immediately.

#imp speaks #prongsfoot #good godfather sirius black

[fandomgamersimp]

Okay, so many of you fuckers don't even know what aromantic means. So hello, I am an aromantic person and I am going to talk about my aromanticism. Btw, I may not be nice on this post, but I don't care tbh, I am so tired of you acephobes. Also, note that I may also be romance-repulsed (still kinda discovering myself), hence some comments.

Disclaimer too- this is my personal story, I do not speak for other aros and how they define themselves. Unlike some of you, I don't have main character syndrome.

So:

I don't get romantic love. That type of love apparently reserved for partners, lovers etc. - I don't understand what's special about it. I even asked my friends to explain it to me. And I see no difference between this and close friendship, for example, or friends with benefits.

There is none of it in me. I had some, let's say, quick relationships, one night stands, whatever you wanna call them, sure. It was nice. We had a good time.

The thought of someone staying, sharing their space with me, having THIS type of relationship though? It makes my skeleton wanting to crawl out of me.

Also, some people have told me about loneliness too. Missing having someone. There is nothing of the sorts in my life. They tell me about sadness and wishing they'd have a partner. I have none of it. The thought of getting into a relationship is gross to me. I don't feel lonely, I don't feel sad. I don't feel, in any form of fashion, the need to be with someone and have someone to be satisfied and, let's say, "fulfilled". This feeling that you have, romantic attraction, it doesn't exist in my life. And I don't need it to.

I know what love is. I love my parents, I love my brother, I love my friends. I'd do anything if it meant their happiness. So surprise, aros ARE capable of love (despite what some of you think). Just not that one. Because I just don't need it. I don't want it. I don't miss it.

And because aromatics don't follow what society deems "normal" (read: cis and straight, both romantically and sexually), they are, therefore, LGBTQIA. To bigots, there is no difference. Bigots don't separate flags. All of us are fags and queers to them.

We face our own, personal shit too. We are forced into romance, as if otherwise we're some freaks of nature and apparently "everyone's worried that we might die of loneliness". We are fed hormones to fix us (because oh, it's just your libido or smth, which is wrong on so many levels). And, apparently STILL, we are shit on by our own community.

But we exist. We belong. We, the letter "A" (shocker, it is not for allies) are going to remain here - we, those people in history who didn't settle/marry for "mysterious reasons".

Also, this is mostly due to some stupid fucking poll going around along with acephobes in the comments and reblogs, and I'm gonna say - the way some of you treat queer men is absolutely fucking disgusting. Ace men exist. Aro men exist. All of them are queer and valid. Idk, maybe, just maybe, so many of them don't even realise they are ace because society pushes into their heads that the "normal man" is supposed to be a sex-crazed freak and just look for a partner like it's their sole purpose of existence? Maybe it's society's fault for saying that romantic love is the only way for fulfillment and happiness, as if people are meant to be exact, mindless copies of each other? Just maybe 🤷

Not to mention the misandrists in the comments too. Spiriling hate out of hate to battle hate- wow, so courageous, so heroic, your peanut brain must really hurt after coming up with such a master plan. You don't even realise that the patriarchy played you like a fiddle and gave you a twisted view of masculinity, which you're upholding with shitty views. And the actual enemy, the rich and powerful who love to make every single toxic stereotype stay as long as it brings profits and manipulated mass to follow them- they are looking at you blaming random guys (also affected by the patriarchy - 😱😱😱) and they're fucking cackling at how big of a fucking moron you are. I'm just gonna remind you that all of those problems you have with men go up to the top. The regular ones - the are conditioned, manipulated and twisted. Cutting off a branch won't get rid of the tree. You can bring then to justice and make them face consequences for shitty actions while also realising that your neighbour John isn't what upholds the system because he has a dick and identifies with what we see as masc. Idk how stupid you have to be to actually believe that. What, my older brother who supported me and helped me deal with my mental illness, who was my friend, who helped me with my passion for games and anime, he is a bad person because he's a man? My father who worked his ass off to support the family and now has health issues because of it, who does his best to be supportive of his queer kid is a bad person? Oh, I guess he's the devil himself bc he's cis and straight. Literally shut the fuck up.

And oh, leave queer men alone. Because hating on someone based solely on their sex is sexist. If your argument is "because men 🤢", fucking grow a brain instead of your fucking cranium.

Sorry for the rant, but I am so fucking tired of all of you, fr. So, to summarise my word river-

Ace men exist and are valid. There is no discourse to have about that. Leave them alone, you creep.

Aromantic and asexual people belong in the lgbtqia community. We are queer, we face queer phobia. Stop acting like a twat, we're not gonna disappear anyway.

Misandrists can suck my non-existent ding dong. Y'all are the cancer in every fucking space that you invade. Unlike ace men, you are not valid. You need therapy. Also you're sexist, so you have that going on I guess.

Again, I know I am not nice. But honestly, after wasting years of life trying to fix myself, because people can't deal with how I identify myself, I am not gonna be.

I am not obligated to act nice to bigots. You don't deserve it. If you cannot take it, leave the fucking internet. You'd be doing lots of people a favour.

EDIT: Besides adding some points I forgot about due to dealing with this stuff, I also remembered someone saying "sexual attraction without romantic attraction" and said "oh, so rape". There is so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin, so I'm gonna say this - as an aromantic person who was sexually assaulted on multiple occasions, I hope you fucking rot in hell.

That's it, that's all.

#rant post #personal rant #aromantic #aro #also i am both aro and bi what're you gonna do abt it bitch boy 🤭 #misandry #misadrist #tw acephobia #tw sa

[redysetdare]

https://www.tumblr.com/kiwipopping/719602017244528641/im-sorry-but-its-wild-to-me-that-repulsed-ppl?source=share

someone finally said it! there'll be post after post on how all sex-repulsed aces are just sex-negative homophobic puritans who think allosexual gays are dirty for their sexual attraction, and how all romance repulsed aros are also homophobic because we apparently hate gay romance specifically. and these posts will literally be from other aros and aces. these people never get called out for spreading aphobic lies and misinformation, but the moment a repulsed aro/ace talks about their experiences they suddenly get labeled as a community traitor joining the side of homophobes. i'm tired -_-

tbh I have seen more people pushing against this aphobic rhetoric now-a-days as I often seen posts talking about how we shouldn't conflate Sex negative (a political position) with Sex repulsed (a personal position). But yeah, for a long while now there's been an issue with the sex positivity movement not REALLY being sex positive because so many allos can't wrap their head around people having personal issues with sex but not actually having issues with other people having sex. People conflated the idea of "someone not liking sex" to being "person is against sex for everyone and is thus a threat to sex positivity" which unfortunately is bound to happen in any movement of this size. The demonetization of repulsed people is nothing new in the community, as someone who's been IDing as Aro and ace for nearly 10+ years now. A lot of this rhetoric has been here for years, such as the "homophobic" argument which has been thrown at Aces and Aros in general by Allos because they see aro and ace identities as not being queer enough, which comes form the amatonormative idea that everyone should want romance and sex and queer rep HAS to include romance or sex less it be "censoring" it for "the straight" (this rhetoric constantly used against queer rep for younger people as well just because it doesn't include sex.) This rhetoric also takes the form of calling repulsed people "puritans" which is actually a christian fundamentalist religious ideology that people have taken and kind of watered down the meaning of to mean "anyone who might not like sex in the same way as me" which is it's own issue (Funnily enough it's also used against kids in the term "puriteen" because adults got mad that teens were upset at NSFW in spaces meant to be for kids, such as cartoon show tags and the like.)

It's kind of disheartening to say the least that in recent years so much animosity towards Repulsed folk has come from infighting within our own community. But I think it's important to not solely blame our community for it. a lot of people who get up and arms against repulsed folk have their reasons to, I mean gatekeeping unfortunately happens in parts of our community, usually by repulsed folks who try and say Demi, grey, favorable, etc. all don't count as Ace or Aro because they still feel/want sexual or romantic relationships. I for one have had someone come into my own posts trying to tell me that the "asexual community has been infiltrated by allo people" in reference to demi and grey folk, which i blocked immediately. But this kind of rhetoric causes people to become very very defensive at anyone that could possibly be invalidating them, which means when Repulsed people make a post talking about their experience in the community that seemingly contradicts the experience a favorable person has had, it is a common emotion to feel angry because to them "that's not true" for them it's been the other way around where THEY feel as if they don't belong because they've been targetted by gatekeepers. So to them, a lot of repulsed people complaining seems like "not a big deal" because they believe that we have spaces for us and are catered to within the community. forgetting that society at large hates repulsed folks on mass because we don't partake in sex or romance.

I think it just comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of each others experiences in the end. To some favorable people, repulsed people are a majority in the community and constantly being catered to + the fact that there are some aspecs and allos who question their identity and so they feel the need to defend it by adding "not all aspecs!" and "Aspecs can X Y and Z" without realizing that such language isn't as inclusive as they may think. People seem to forget that there are no spaces that are made for repulsed people. We are constantly bombarded with romance and sex in everything in life from music, to ads, to tv shows and movies, books, and online spaces. there is really nothing made FOR US. Most places that are sex free are made for KIDS which is alienating for sex repulsed ADULTS. and spaces without romance are usually for PRESCHOOLERS... which again, alienating for romance repulsed ADULTS.

I think the internet has definitely made it harder for people to realize that not everything includes them. Like, a sex repulsed person talking about their experience should not be followed up by "but some of us like sex. stop being sex negative!" Repulsed people should not have to be like "btw sex favorable ppl aren't bad this isn't about them"

people have been taking personal feelings about a subject as a personal attack on their identity, which it just doesn't need to be. People need to learn that some posts aren't geared towards them. Repulsed people NEED a space to express themselves without being told to shut up. Repulsed people NEED posts about them that don't get derailed to be about favorable people all because some ppl are worried that they are being excluded in a post not about them. Repulsed people NEED the ability to express repulsion without it being taken as a personal attack against favorable people.

Sorry for the wall of text, this ask just left open for a bit more conversation. I'm glad I am not the only one frustrated by this but also I didn't feel comfortable just posting a agreement response because I do not want to come off as being dismissive of the nuance that is really causing this to happen within the community. (or to be demonizing one part of our community like some do to us. i guess I am just willing to give benefit of the doubt to some people who may not be so nice to me.)

Either way I'm glad my post has resonated with you and maybe with more of us speaking out on this treatment we can actually start to create a space where repulsed and favorable people can coexist and both feel safe in, instead of constantly fighting each other. We are a community, after all. We should be supporting each other. not pushing each other away.

#asks #aspec #ace #aro #aroace #aromantic #asexual #sex repulsed #romance repulsed #infighting #sex positivity #im hoping this makes sense #long post #sorry for the wall of text haha #i have a lot of thoughts on this as a repulsed person who's been in the community for a while

[sword-and-lance]

so I DID say I was gonna make my own post and here goes, rambling stream-of-consciousness nonsense below

for real though so many people just never grow out of being a hateful dipshit and it shows and ffs I am so Very Tired Of It

like us furries are just off doing our own shit for funsies but noooooo that's Not Acceptable ya know, because it's weird because Well I Don't Get It And That's The Only Metric That Matters Right, and you don't want to be WEIRD do you

never mind that this is exactly the line of thinking that got wielded against my autistic ass on the regular to the point I still have multiple neuroses on it thank you VERY fucking much but 'oh no I don't actively hate autistic people so I can't possibly be bigoted right'

never mind that this is exactly the like of thinking that STILL GETS wielded against my aromantic ass on the regular to the point I have very much had to become viciously defensive of it at the drop of a hat almost more than I'm actually allowed to love being it

hell it gets wielded against my bisexual ass too for that matter lmao that's just not as large a chunk of my identity as the aro stuff

like y'all KNOW this "they are Weird and therefore Bad and Wrong" impulse is exactly where bigot shit of all stripes comes from right

RIGHT?

y'all have got to let go of the "I don't understand it therefore it is Wrong and Laughingstock and No One Should Do It" impulse you gotta or you're gonna fall down a hole that's real goddamn hard to climb back out of

speaking from experience as someone who has had to and tbh probably still is climbing out of many fucking holes

and yes that above paragraph for absolute certainty isn't just covering furry shit! it also includes stuff like kink including whatever one(s) YOU don't like, people get crankin' to the weirdest shit and forks are found in the kitchen come ON NOW if everyone involved is a consenting adult then get the fuck over yourself and just don't look and go looking for shit you don't like

you don't have to "get" something to at least give it and the people involved in it some fucking basic respect

it ain't none of your business

so fucking mind your own

"but Dae you're one of The Good Furries who works in STEM and tech and--" and I will still fucking bite you for going after the Weird ""Degenerate"" (eurgh) Ones because you're being a bigot-ass to them and no one should have to EARN the right to not be bigot-ed at you asshole

and I ain't even gonna get into how y'all treat otherkin and therians and etc or I'm gonna start biting

and I am especially ain't even gonna get into how y'all treat disabled and chronically-ill people or I'm gonna start spraying blood like the world's angriest hornytoad lizard I know a terrifying number of people actually want me and like 70% of my social circle dead, I get to see this shit every single day, thanks!

#; mun ranting #ableism tw

[aroaceconfessions]

okay my friend just called me "my love" and I'm,,, ?? asjdhsgsfsk?? that was so random and I'm not sure what to make of it. 😅 I know she's straight so thankfully she definitely didn't mean it in a romantic way. BTW I only say "thankfully" bc I'm an aro who gets super uncomfy and nervous when ppl get crushes on me. I mean we were texting but she never speaks like that irl (at least not to me). I assume she added it onto the end of her sentence in like a fancy way (think: those fancy ppl who always address everyone as 'darling' and 'my love'). I think it kinda just slipped and she didn't really realise. anyway I know she didn't mean it genuinely/seriously.

So I acted normal about it in the moment but tbh I'm still trying to process it rn (it's only been a few mins). I'm not taking it too seriously but it's definitely kinda surprising. First time anyone's ever called me that. it just feels unusual to be addressed like that, yk? I kinda feel weird inside and I'm still trying to process it. I'm a getting a sorta uncomfortable tingly feeling. I mean I know the tingling isn't a crush feeling, because I'm arospec romance-averse. So I've already gotten crushes before and it's really easy for me to tell the difference between romantic/platonic attraction. This isn't a romantic reaction I'm feeling, it's more like an appreciative but kinda flustered one. 😅 I think this tingly feeling is similar to the one I get when I'm uncomfortable about someone having a crush on me but because I already know she's straight and doesn't, the tingling is only a little bit there. I think it's sweet but also even though I sometimes tell my friends how much I love them, this intimate language feels a little too intimate for me hgjdksf. so hey, at least today I've found out a little more about what I'd like my own boundaries to be! anyway! I'm sure she won't say it again but if I feel like I need to tell her it makes me uncomfy I'll be sure to communicate it somehow. so yeah I just wanted to share this with someone and I know the people here won't assume that this is a romantic situation (and will believe me if I tell them it's not) so I feel most comfortable confessing it on this blog 💚

#aro #aromantic #aspec #arospec #romance averse #friends #friendship

[editrevue]

and tamao or yukina or both ! - 🦋

Hi 🦋!! [ask] ohhhh yay! okay! since I'm still new to Bandori I'll put the Yukina one under a cut !!

Sexuality Headcanon: undoubtably an aromantic lesbian! it's canonical that tamao is very oblivious to people flirting with her, and that translates to "aro" in my mind <3

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary, she/they. just like in being aromantic I think there'd be some agender feelings to accompany it!

A ship I have with said character: I have several! Tamao x Rui (TamaRui) is my primary and my favorite because that was my canon, but I also have such soft spots for Tamao x Fumi (TamaFumi), Tamao x Kaoruko (TamaKao) and Tamao/Ichie/Fumi.

A BROTP I have with said character: In the instance where they're not shipped, I really love my best friendship with Fumi and Ichie. As goes with Kaoruko and Futaba, too! another one I can't wait to see more of is Tamao and Mahiru because of the illustration poll for the anniversary!

It's not necessarily a "brotp" but a funny thing is Tamao's indifference to Shiori and Shiori is out here being an absolute hater like "I'm so happy for you and your ugly fucking girlfriend I'm so serious" @ Fumi AKSHDKHASD

A NOTP I have with said character: like in the previous ask, Tamao/Futaba, but I still think it'd be funny to see! Tamao/Shiori is just. very uncomfortable. I also don't prefer Tamao/Yuyuko, but don't get me wrong I love Yukko very much! tbh I don't really see Tamao shipped with anyone else to really think about it too much, Tamao/Akira would just be plain silly.

A random headcanon: Tamao has planted flowers in specific patterns of specific colors in certain patches of the school garden to symbolize the 5 of them. Tamao's favorite role of Rui's besides Onikage was Hades, and when asked why, she never gives an answer. because Sun draws me this way, Tamao's hair soemtimes curls into soft "horns" when left unkept because oooohhhh metaphors and motifs ...

General Opinion over said character: oof. what does it say about me that tamao is my strongest kin from revue starlight . outside of me though tamao is such a fantastic character, every new thing that comes out about her adds to it, and I alluded to it in the arcana ask but I could go on for hours about their character development and the way their story makes me feel in the ways I relate to it! me and mod sun have our fingers crossed, we're really hoping that if junna or akira do not get belle/beast encores for their birthdays that either rui or tamao get something b&tb related for their new birthday cards please i'm beggign,, but! i'm glad rinmeikan is a part of the 2nd bandori collab because i was hoping to get more content of them as a whole! i hope frontier gets something big next though :sob:

I'm not super confident with these because I haven't sorted out all my feelings yet but um!! I hope it's still enjoyed nonetheless.

Sexuality Headcanon: purrsonally I say lesbian because I am! but sapphic definitely.

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary, secretly xenogender/catgender and only like Ako and Lisa know (Ako relates and could just tell from a mile away by guessing, Lisa knows because she just knows everything khsdajsldjasd) they/she or she/they.

A ship I have with said character: Yukina x Lisa! I don't know if I have any others I mega like yet, but I think even if I did YukiLisa would still be #1 <3

A BROTP I have with said character: everyone from Roselia! + Ran, Moca, Tomoe-- all of afterglow really but especially those three. I don't know enough of the in-game interactions yet to know for sure awawawaaa but I will know one day .

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't think I have any yet that give me an ick? Well besides maybe Yukina x Chiyu, Yukina x Ako and other young underclassmen obviously :sob: but um! hm! I don't think I enjoy seeing Yukina shipped with my other kins, especially the bigger ones like Kaoru and Himari if that's even anything. shrug!

A random headcanon: just to be cute I asked Sun to give me random yukina headcanons from her perspective and I really like some of the ones she wrote so I'll put them here! "you hum to yourself to help concentrate and when you're happy. A small hum from yuki means you're smiling, even if you’re not actually!" // "a kitty related one, I feel like you can, similar to how you can name a song based on a single note, accurately name any cat breed you see, or any cat colors or coat patterns" // "You’re secretly really good at video games, and no one knows why, since you dedicate so much time to music" which is a really silly one in retrospect, and another one she wrote i love the most is she said yukina and lisa would often bake together ! i agree with that one 🥺

General Opinion over said character: maybe there's a liiiiiitle bit of a bias going on because we both kin her hehe, but of course I love Yukina! We've talked about it before but I loved learning that she shares the same va as Claudine! It's so funny listening to bandori songs next to revstar songs because I have a hard time separating Aina's voice from Claudine still hdaksahsskdsd I relate very much to her passion for cats and her dedication to her friends and band. I can't wait to learn more!

#✧. ┊ moon intermission #✦. ┊ star performance #🦋 anon

[match-your-steps]

Explaining the reasoning behind every song in my pride month playlist because I'm pretty sure no one cares but you know what I can do what I want:

"Catanella" by Orange Caramel - idk there's no real reason I just like this song and think it fits the vibe of the playlist. if I search for a reason I guess their outfits in the music video kind of remind me of drag and you could probably make some elaborate metaphor about the music video as well if you wnated

"Horns to Toes" by Adam Byrant and Michael Ford - it's about appreciating yourself? loving all parts of you. kind of pride vibes.

"Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants - idk I can't explain it but it's pride vibes

"plastic smile" by Perfume - you might be able to to guess from the title. it's a song about acting like you have everything you want even though you actually want more. this describes a lot of the queer experience with marginalization.

"Never Been In Love" by Will Jay - aha! the first obviously openly queer song. it's about being aro and maybe also ace

"Everyone Says You're so Fragile" by Idlewild - I do not know, exactly. firstly, gotta have some chaos vibes here, so takes care of that. second, there's probably something here that made me choose this particular song for some deeper reason about palatable queerness

"Colored" by ASTRO - tbh I don't think this has really anything to do with pride (it's really just a normal pure love song situation that I wanted for the musical vibes) but we can stretch it and say something something colors rainbow🌈

"Love Too Much" by Keane - something about the queer agenda of experiencing love to the fullest we possibly can

"Dragostea Din Tei" by O-Zone - if you haven't, go watch the music video. then look me in the eyes and tell me that wasn't gay (I guess this is why gay or european tbh)

"Man or Muppet" by Jason Segel and Walter - trans people

"Heart to Break" by Kim Petras - are you telling me you don't know /lh. Kim Petras trans,, also the music video is very queer which I'm sure is on purpose

"Miracle Worker" by Perfume - I'm gonna be honest I have no idea what this song is about I just really like it

"El Capitan" by Idlewild - it's not about being queer, at least not that I know of, but I kind of feel like it encapsulates some of the queer experience. like, let me do this monumental thing so you'll take me seriously and you'll still treat it like a casual publicity stunt. like I'm only doing it to make a scene. makes sense?

"Voice - English Ver." by Tacitly - queers often have the problem of people in their lives, especially parents/parent figures, not being able to accept that they have discovered new parts of their identities. the lines "whatever you think of me, leave it alone/I don't want to live in the shade of her throne" and "when you look at me, who do you remember?" mmm that's the stuff

"Spread My Wings" by Stray Kids - this is actually a song that starts out with them trying to act older and more sophisticated and grow up faster and then at the end they decide to live their age and take advantage of their youth and abilities to be immature while they can. growing up too quickly isn't a queer-exclusive thing, but I hear about it a lot in queer circles I frequent, so I thought about it for this

"Things Can Only Get Better" by Howard Jones - read the title we are taking a positive stance here

"Telephone" by Lady Gaga and Beyoncé - I didn't want to put born this way in there just to be gay (although I do like that song) but now we have a Lady Gaga and also this song is a supporter of platonic love. something something Beyoncé when she says she won't leave her girls no faster

"Marionette" by KIRA - break free of the bonds of society. do what makes you happy, not what the world says will

"Left & Right" by SEVENTEEN - another song about youth. this time it's more about you can't run faster than your legs can carry you. you're doing okay. you're gonna be successful, so enjoy life. queer values in there.

"SLUMP - English Version" by Stray Kids - song about feeling like you're falling behind and everything feels hopeless. life is hard and there are so many things to keep up with. being queer definitely does not make your life am exception to this.

"Zombies on Your Lawn" by Laura Shigihara - neurodivergent people are both more likely to have special interests like PvZ and be queer (me moment, I'm describing me)

"El Mismo Sol" by Alvaro Soler - if you listen to the version with Shakira you'll be mislead into thinking this is a song about sexy, but actually it's about everyone living together in harmony "under the same sun" (well, technically "bajo el mismo sol," since it's in Spanish). sounds like queer ideology to me

"I Am Not Alone" by Sori and Folded Dragons - even if you break me down you can't destroy me. queer values. also the music video and choreography kinda gay tbh,,,,..... definitely looks sapphic to me

"Glorious" by David Archuleta - everyone is different and has a different role to play and when we come together we make something wonderful and beautiful. sort of same vibes as el mismo sol. also appeasing my personal christianity plus David Archuleta gay /srs

"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield - do things that make you happy. don't let others dictate your happiness. your life is your own story to write. queer agenda once again.

"Singing in the Shower" by Christopher Kale Jones - freedom to have fun and be silly also I just really like this song

"Single 4 Life" by Camron Crowe - what can I say I'm aroace (this song is definitely more of a relationships are too much trouble vibe but that's irrelevant)

"No hay Semilla - Electronilboy Remix" by Quiero Club and Electronikboy - uhh I translated this once and I don't remember exactly what it's about but it's pretty edgy and I think it has like millennial anger vibes so I'll take it for the gays

"Can Be Better" by HIGHLIGHT - things suck but oh well they'll be better tomorrow. once again we are taking the positive outlook

"我怎能留下你" by Ezu - from the HIStory 3 - Trapped soundtrack. that is a show about gay men. also I don't remember what the song is about exactly but I think it was kinda gay too. that might've just been the influence of the gay men on me though

"The Way I Feel" by Keane - "there's something wrong about the way I feel" tell me you're othered by society without telling me you're othered by society

"Ghosting" by Mother Mother - feeling invisible is so. also don't the gays love Mother Mother isn't that a thing

"Hands" by Jewel - my power is my own power. take action into your own hands. I'm not broken. feels queer to me

"Funkytown" by Lipps Inc. - come on don't tell me you can't figure this one out. it's just like. vibes. gotta make a move to a town that's right for me. funkytown

"Hug a Pug" by Webkinz ft. Michelle Junkin and Leonidas Kouvaris - be kind hug a pug and while you're at it have a little dance party. also don't judge a book by its cover that's in there too

"Crystal Ball" by Keane - it seems hopeless but there is hope. "tell me life is beautiful." easy to relate to in a world that seems to hate us

"Mister Cellophane" by John C. Reilly - from the soundtrack of the musical Chicago. about feeling like no one sees you. this one is pretty relatable if you equate it to queerness, but this one especially goes out to the gncs, the genderfluids, and the aroaces. also other identities that people have a hard time even accepting exist so they don't even usually get to the point of purposeful discrimination cuz it just doesn't feel like a real thing to them

"UNBREAKABLE - Remix" by KIRA and Ruby - sticks and stones can break my bones and words can hurt me but you can't break me. I'll always get back up. we need a little of that.

"Blue Moo '62" by The Sparklets - literally could not give you a reason except vibes

"Velociraptor" by Storybots - this one's there representative of the feral dinosaur queers. you know what I mean.

#pride #pride month #music #pride playlist #long post #Spotify

[alittlebirb]

How to Be Romantic

Be thoughtful. ...

Express yourself. ...

Give gifts. ...

Know your partner's love language. ...

Listen attentively. ...

Make time for your partner. ...

Show physical affection. ...

BIRB HELP I GOOGLED WHAT ROMANCE IS AND IM EVEN MORE CONFUSED. tryna figure out if im aromantic or not AND THIS CLEARLY DOES NOT HELP. So can you explain what aromantic really means cause i know its not having romantic attraction, but like. what is romance?? google isnt very helpful right now

-A very confused mystery anon that is desperate for explanation and also confused as hecc

SGHDEGHCFH MYSTERY MY BELOVED YOU ARE SO DEAR

Ikr romance is sooooo confusing!! The way people talk about it, the fantasy and the soulmate and the butterflies etc etc etc have never made sense to me. I feel like it really obscures the true nature of this feeling and muddles the understanding of our emotions.

I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll do my best! I think a lot of my early aromanticism really was this sense of questioning: what even is romance? What makes it different from friendship? I've always felt a bit of disconnect from the concept, and whenever I did associate it with me, I would literally push it to future as something that I would confront when I was "mature" enough. Turns out, most people don't experience romance as the ultimate marker of maturity! They get crushes as kids, they feel puppy love, they entangle themselves into all kinds of drama because of a wayward heart (allegedly)! For lots of people, the emotion of romance isn't an option they can choose or unchoose, it just happens to them. If that's not something you relate to, you might be aromantic.

It's all very very confusing though, and you don't need to have a straight (hah) answer...ever! Tbh, sometimes I still struggle with the idea of romance, although nowadays I realize a lot of it stems from my fear of isolation and the shapeless desire to be treated as an important fixture of someone's life. And that's not inherently romantic. Relationships are so beautiful and complex, and every one you form will be entirely unique. So if you can't pin yourself down, don't fret! Just do what feels best and most fulfilling to you, communicate and connect with people as you wish, and explore the many ways joy can be shared! You've got so much life and potential, and in the grand beauty of your existence, this confusion may eventually become a drop in the pond.

Here are some thoughts you could consider that might clarify some of your emotions though:

Have you ever had a crush? This might seem like a simple question, but oftentimes aros/aspecs confuse the desire for close relationships/the amatanormative pressure to HAVE crushes with crushes themselves.

Imagine being in a romantic relationship with someone. How would you feel if other people looked at you two and interpreted you as dating? How would you feel if your partner themselves saw your relationship as a romantic couple?

Do you like or relate to romances in media, particularly with well-written romances? Even when a romance has lots of enjoyable chemistry and the partnership makes sense, I still feel a sense of disconnect from the story when romance occurs. The experiences these plotlines represent are not ones I relate to.

Lastly, and this one might be very very me-specific, but how do you feel about dating sims? Personally, I really enjoy dating sims, but I get very annoyed when the protagonists start getting romantic, even though it's literally what I signed up for! It's the aromantic in me shining through lol. I just want everyone to be friends.

I hope I was able to assist, even in some small way in your journey beloved Mystery! Know that I'm always willing to talk, even if my capacity to help may be limited (⌒_⌒;). Have a lovely night, and rest well!!! (≧◡≦) ♡

#birb answers! #aromantic #long post

[winter-spark]

Someone I follow was just talking about her struggle in knowing if she's actually aro or just her priorities just differ from the general expectations of society and she's just questioning.

And I feel so seen tbh.

Like it's hard. It's so hard sometimes. Like don't get me wrong I'm a fan of shipping too but like watchimg media sometimes the added in romance sours the story because it feels like they think it more important than friends. They act like friendship and romance are separate and romance ranks above it and it tends to be something that feels to be the case irl too but to me that's just not the case. The person I follow said that for her friendship is more important and she doesn't get why people crave to be in romantic relationships when they have friends and that's exactly it right? Like for me friendship is first and foremost but also for me romance is soooo close to friendship anyway.

Like literally to me the only difference is really the intent/motivation and mood behind it. Like like in the simplest terms you can go to the movies with a friend that's normal. So is going to the movies with a date. What's the difference? Like you're going to spend time with them and enjoy something together either way. Both are your person. There's just a slightly different mood when you set something up as a date. But that doesn't mean it's more important that a friend hang out.

But then it's like. Am I the only one who sees things that way? I at times fantasize about a happy love story but I wouldn't say I crave romance. As a matter of fact sometimes it sounds very off putting to me. When I "fantasize" about it it's honestly more like "what if this thing led to me meeting the love of my life tee hee" kinda way. Like I'm definitely a hopeless romantic most likely. But also sometimes it's like what if that person had a crush on you and I'm like please don't. That's my thought sometimes. Even up until 8th grade I was so sure I wasn't even gonna look for a relationship until I had a successful career. (That only sorta ended because I told one of my friends that and she was like "but everyone will be gone by then" and all that did was shake my world and I've never had a solid future plan again.)

And of course that doesn't mean I'm on the aro spectrum nor the ace spectrum. Heck I've had two full crushes and 2 half crushes. But the thing is I've never just found people attractive(I can tell when people are pretty but I still don't find them attractive lol) or even really wanted to date them. The two full crushes I moreso did but even then I didn't. I didn't even think they were "sorta cute" until I liked them. And my goal in telling them I liked them was to be rejected so I could move on. I had a whole friendship courtship first. They were people I was friends with first.

Actually part of the reason I think I've question being demi is because of that and I saw someone say that being demi for them they get squishes (friend crushes, people you really want to be friends with) and that of their few crushes all of them were squishes first (not that all their squishes became crushes but all their crushes were squishes first) and that more inlined with myself. They get a lot of squishes I get a lot of squishes. They were friends with their crushes first. Same but.

But like. I don't know that I am demi. I've had a celebrity crush and of the info I've gather people who are demi don't tend to? Mine was a strange case and I got over it rather quickly. But does that make me demi? Does falling for Kurt Cobain after reading abunch of his quotes and his wikipedia biography to the extent that you wished you'd gotten to meet him, that more people were like him, that you do the math to figure out how old he'd be make one demi? Not neccessarily.

So ye.

Uhm. This is going on longer than I entended I don't know where I was going but I haven't eaten breakfast and I feel my brain shutting down so I'm just gonna end it here. Thanks for reading this if you did. There's no conclusion.

I mean... The person I follow found comfort in knowing certain things to be true about herself even if she doesn't quite know if she falls under any label. I guess I find comfort knowing well seeing that there are people questioning the same things I have. Now to find people with other similar hesitations to me on other sorts of labels

#Messages from the swamp #I guess #long post #personal thoughts #Questioning

[asexual-society]

hi!! so recently ive been questioning if im aspec but am also v confused. im 13-15 yrs old and have never had a crush on anyone irl, celebrities, etc. im not sure if thats normal or not but i am unlabelled so already being part of the lgbtq community has made me wonder if the fact that ive never had a crush is also related to something lgbtq (aspec). not sure if im aromantic or not but i really dont know how to figure it out. also whenever my friends mention s*x i feel kinda gross but idk.. help

Hey, sorry it took so long to get to this, I wanted to make sure I did a decent job answering it.

So you've not had any crushes! By 13, most (allo) people tend to have had some crushes, both on celebrities and normal people. If you haven't that could be because you're ace, or aro, and you could just be a late bloomer, but if you're 15 and it hasn't happened yet then. maybe it's not going to?

It's totally chill to stay unlabelled or questioning, you don't need to figure everything out right now, you're still super young (and it's fine if you stay unlabelled forever too, just to be clear). I can't tell you if you're ace or aro or otherwise aspec, it sounds to me like you could be so it's totally fine for you to try out those labels, you don't have to keep them, or even tell anyone about them if you don't want, just see how they fit for a while if you want, but it's important to remember that you're trying on a label, not putting yourself in a box.

I don't want it to sound like I'm discouraging you from ID'ing as aspec at all, but it doesn't hurt to keep an open mind. At 13 I ID'd vaguely and secretly as bi on and off for 3 years, I barely even knew asexuality or aromanticism existed, so I'm really glad you have those options to explore. Also, don't worry about the sex repulsion thing, loads of acespec people are sex repulsed, and tbh, so are a lot of people your age, truly you are not the only one, and it might even go away, or get weaker over time. I mean even I'm less sex repulsed now than I was a year ago and I'm in my 20s. It doesn't for everyone, some people's gets worse, but these things are fluid, just like anything.

There are loads of resources you can find online about both (I am currently riddled with executive dysfunction otherwise I'd link them here, but there are a ton already on this and other blogs, as well as AVEN and AUREA), don't knock the efficacy of Am I Ace quizzes if you want a more fun and easy way to get your thoughts in order.

I hope this helps, and if anyone has any resources that might be useful, please share them. <3

- mod key

#ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #asks #mod key #zoeisnotahuman