#i'm rambling now i've been having this conversation with several friends over the past week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

citadelsanchez · 2 years

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Heyyy could you possibly do one where Rick loves to surprise hug the reader from behind. I love your work so much😭💝Thank you<333

Alright, couple things! Firstly, thank you for the kind words! Secondly, I've had writer's block for this past week or so, my apologies to everyone. This is a bit short as a result. And lastly, I'm not sure that I followed the request to its full extent as I still picture Rick as being unrelentingly stubborn. (But still slipping his sweetness in there.) Okay that's it, thanks for reading!! Xx

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You strummed your fingers along the dilapidated work bench and bounced your leg in annoyance. You suppressed a sigh and checked your phone mindlessly once again. You'd been waiting for Rick in this same spot for over an hour.

[Meet me in the garage at 8. No exceptions.] he'd texted earlier, making you scoff. It wasn't very often that he didn't just jump straight to the point in his endeavors. When this happens, he's clearly got something up his sleeve. And he always strings you along this way, kicking your adrenaline into overdrive and then making you stand by until he deems the right time. You can't stay upset for long though. Especially when sometimes you're so baffled at how you managed to claim a spot in his whimsical world, even if it's not a big one.

Although recently Morty and Summer have been trying to convince you that you're special to Rick, claiming that he only shows moments of vulnerability with you. You recall the conversation from a couple of days ago.

"Oh my gosh, Y/N, you're totally just ignorant if you don't see how Rick thirsts after you" Summer sassed.

"I hate to agree with that but y-y-yeah Y/N, he really seems to care for you" Morty says, nodding with his sister.

You'd blushed bright red and physically facepalmed at both of them. "He's- no, we're just good friends. Or like, allies. Really."

Summer rolled her eyes. "You're insane, he is in love with you Y/N."

"L-like come on, he checks in on you at night and kills anyone w-who hurts your feelings when we adventure. H-h-he even hugs you."

You shake your head. "He's just nosey! And that 'hug' was one time Morty! Or, twice. I can't remember how many times. And it was because he was blinded by the Galorp haze. I-it wasn't like it was him actually wanting to."

You dismissed their ramblings as teenage nonsense alongside the fact that Rick isn't emotional with anyone- why would you ever be the exception? A pang of hurt singes your chest at that thought. You can't deny the ever growing euphoric feeling of being around Rick. It started with the harsh insults that turned playful and insolent glances that are now tolerant. And now as of late, accidental grazes of your arms or waist and hugs that were "uncontrollable" and not of his own accord. True Rick fashion.

You're so far into your thoughts that you don't even hear the sound of Rick entering the garage and brushing himself off with a defeated, somber look on his face.

You're also stood with your headphones in, slightly dancing to the beat coming through, with your back to the usual portal sound. Since Rick was inconsiderate and late to his own meeting, you've been indulging in one of your favorite past times, which is snooping through his newest inventions.

You place a strange hat with several antenna back into the box. "What the fuuuck even is that?" You speak out loud, still unaware of his presence.

Rick is watching you rummage through his drawers blankly before a small smile starts appearing on his face.

You stop to change the song playing on your phone when you feel two arms envelop your frame and a head resting near the top of yours. You gasp in surprise but know who it is immediately from the slight green apple smell mixed in with alcohol.

"Rick.." You speak out softly, feeling both surprised and overwhelmed with bliss. "This can't still be the Galorp haze."

His hands rest on top of yours as his chin digs into your head some. "We're not gonna talk about it."

#rick sanchez #rick and morty #rick and morty season 6 #rick sanchez x reader #morty smith

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trixree · 11 months

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Hey i just visited your blog after binge reading several of your star wars fics and saw you've got POTS + assorted chronic medical fuckery. My spouse has the unholy trinity of POTS/EDS/MCAS (featuring guest artist Migraines) and boy do i feel for you if your combo is even a little bit similar. Crossing my fingers for you that the neurologist is a good fit! They tend to have their shit together when it comes to dysautonomia (and hopefully know a lot of the good med combos). I'll also put in a recommendation for electrolyte drinks -- i think it's not uncommon for ppl with POTS to have electrolyte/salt deficiencies, and i know it's been helpful for my spouse to chug 20-30 oz of propel or re-lyte water every day. Compression garments (esp. tights) have also been helpful for POTS, but not always great for digestion if they go over the stomach. Medical grade compression starts at 20-30 mmHg.

For appetite stuff, since I'm not sure what the underlying cause is for you idk if this will be helpful/applicable, but when it's hard to convince your body to eat I'm generally in favor of just going for anything that sounds appetizing to you even if it means eating ice cream 3x a day :P if it's a nausea thing, though, spouse may have some better recommendations, and I'd be happy to ask or send you their way. Best wishes and take care!

Per my last post, I'm catching up on old Asks, AO3 comments, and messages received during my hiatus! (Psst, go do my Fanfic Poll) This is so so so sweet of you, thank you SO MUCH! I rambled on quite a lot below the cut about my health journey the past year re: POTS and GI stuff, in case folks are interested in how I've managed. Disclaimer that I am NOT a medical professional and this is absolutely not medical advice, these are just my experiences and things that have worked well for me.

First off, what a DELICIOUSLY FAMILIAR COMBO of things! I was told at my last immunology appointment that I "almost certainly" (his words, not mine) have EDS (my mom has it, too, and my hips are constantly popping out of place) but 1.) I can't afford to go get diagnosed (see: unemployment, medical trauma) and 2.) one of my friends has been stalled for MONTHS trying to get a clinical geneticist to confirm her EDS diagnosis because, apparently, there is a great deal of resistance to testing folks for EDS right now given the increased visbility of EDS patients on TikTok. My partner is in med school and we've had really long conversations about the so-called "TikTok Triad" (POTS, EDS, and gastroparesis - which are all conditions that are acutally linked together with the clinical data we have) and how it's impacting both how physicians practice and the care that patients receive. This reddit thread is a good example of how this plays out, if you feel like braving reddit on this fine afternoon.

My neurologist is amazing and has done a lot to help me with my migraines... unfortunately the GI stuff is still kicking my ass. All of your recommendations are things that I've started doing over the last year to manage symptoms: my compression socks are my BESTEST FRIENDS and Drip Drop is my favorite electrolyte powder - they've got the best flavors imo and isn't as PAINFULLY SWEET as Liquid IV. I've also adopted a really high-salt diet. As far as appetite goes, my management strategy has been to smoke a lot of weed (I live somewhere where recreational use is thankfully legal, so it isn't difficult or unsafe to get ahold of it) but that's unfortunately expensive and can actually make persistent nausea and appetite loss WORSE over time (see canabis hyperemesis) so I've recently gone cold-turkey off of pot to see if I can manage the daily nausea and appetite loss with pharmaceuticals alone (namely phenergan). I'm seeing my GI in the next week and I'm going to lobby my ass off for a prescription appetite stimulant. I've lost a lot of weight in the last year (and I was already pretty small to begin with, so the weight loss has made my chronic pain a lot worse unfortunately) and I am a firm believer in following one's cravings in order to eat. I order a lot of take out and cycle through the same "safe" foods (usually some kind of cereal with soy milk, an Ensure protein shake if solids are an absolute no-go, and simple rice, potateos, and chicken works). The other night, my partner tried to entice me to eat an oreo ice cream sandwich during a bout of brutal nausea and I cried because I fucking love oreo ice cream but my body HATES having things inside of it <3 I've also found that excercise can SOMETIMES (not all of the time) help my appetite. I have a stationary bike and a basic set of weights at home. Stationary bike in particular is something I'd HUGELY recommend for anybody with POTS that deals with excercise intollerance. Sitting down to get my cardio is WAY BETTER than anything else I've tried in terms of how badly my symptoms get triggered. I'm also currently medicated for my POTS (I take ivabradine and it's made a big difference for my quality of life on the whole, especially with regards to the fatigue that having a constantly elevated heartrate will generate.)

I do appear to have some sort of motility problem (most likely IBS-C) and I'm taking medication for it that has HELPED, but not nearly enough. I poop more than once every twelve days now, which is awesome, but I'm still constantly nauseous more often than not (Zofran, Dramamine, and Phenergen are my bestest friends) and my appetite is nowhere to be found. Hopefully I can get my hands on some appetite stimulant. As for the nausea, I've been informed by my electro cardiologist that many, many POTS patients report diminished appetites and chronic, debilitating nausea, but that "the mechanism relating the two is unexplored and largely unknown." So basically he said, "that sounds ROUGH buddy. Good luck though!"

(Hence me sharing my strategies cause I know, colloquially, that lots of us are dealing with this.)

#trixree speaks #health stuff #POTS #EDS #chronic health conditions #disability tag #asked & answered

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khorren · 2 years

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Hi, I have Serenity on the brain for the past few days. Two things in particular, Serenity piecing together Ruby's manipulation. And Serentity learning about her connection to Ridley+Aurene. I don't know why I've made Ruby the "bad guy" all of sudden. She means well, she's just…. doing it horribly wrong. Yay flaws. Ruby's still one of my best gals <3. Not really a story, just me rambling.

🌞

It's not been that long since Serenity and Sienna left together. They've stopped in a few villages and outposts here and there, but not really settled anywhere for any length of time. Serenity is just beginning to piece together things from her childhood til now, but there's still a lot to unpack. Sienna's been engaging her in small conversations, nothing deep, just chattering about the journey, not asking anything heavy. One morning though Ren wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and she flips out over a basic question about breakfast. She grills Sienna about why she's here, why she was with the Whispers and why the two got paired up after losing Tybalt. Sienna was just another pawn in Ruby's plans though. Just a kid wrapped up in other people's problems.

Natalia (Sienna's older sister) was on Ruby's radar just as much as Serenity was and when Nat killed a minister Ruby saw her plan crumble away. Could Sienna save the line? Maybe? She's so young. Get Nat somewhere safe and out of the way, shove her in the Priory, yeah they owe Ruby a favour or four, as do the Whispers. "Here, have this 15 year old kid, I'm sure you can make use of her, but I can't right now. Bye" Thanks, Ruby.

But no. Ren gets past this, apologises and realises she's got a good friend, cousin of sorts, who can relate to the problem. Sienna's been pretty happy go lucky in her situation, not really thinking about it too much. Sure, it's a little unconventional of an upbringing, but she's happy and safe and she's got it better than a lot of other people. Maybe it's just youth and naiveity.

Ren thinks about all the time Ruby has played a part in her life, and of course her imagination runs off with other things too. When Ren's parents were killed, Ruby made sure the child went with the mother's brother and his wife. The uncle wasn't part of the Fae lineage, no-one would be coming after him. Neither were particularly magical so during Ren's youth she wouldn't be distracted with magic, she could learn that better when she was introduced to the Whispers. Speaking of. When Ren was a teenager and sneaking out, she'd follow members of the Whispers around Lion's Arch. She thought she was being sneaky but they were allowing themselves to be seen at Ruby's request. She'd sneak up to the Crow's Nest and watch them do shady dealings, so she thought, but it was just a ruse put there by Ruby. Ruby had been with the Whispers for a long, long time, going back to when Jurah was the Master.

Ruby arranged the trip to Divinity's Reach that co-incided with the centaur attack on Shaemoor. Ren starts thinking if Ruby's to blame for that too. Would she work with centaurs? Feed them intel? Gods, no, of course not, but she does linger on that thought for a bit too long. It burrows and twists its way through her mind for several days. No, no. Ruby's capable of a lot of things in the name of family, but not that.

After Claw Island Ruby got Ren, Ridley, and Aoife together. Hey you three should hang out a bit. Get to know each other. "Ridley? How is Ridley involved?" the thought loops in Ren's mind for days, weeks. She took on the role of looking after Aurene when Serenity couldn't. Just being around Aurene, even when she was growing inside her little egg it made Ren queasy, dizzy, and it was mentally and physically draining her. If Ruby had orchastrated Ren's life to this point why was she ok with Ridley taking over this major role. Ridley… What's her role in this. "Are we connected?" She'd often ask herself as her mind ran through dozens of theories. "What I am not getting.... What's Ridley got to do with me?"

Oh, Ren. Your world is about to get even more bizarre...

#character babbles #gw2 #guild wars 2 #serenity

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lesbianfreyja · 5 years

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Did you ever identified as bi? If so, how did you get to the conclusion that you were a lesbian? i've been questioning for a while and I'm not sure what I am. I also have a hard time differenciating between I have a crush/I want to be like her/I want to be friends with her. help a confused person pls

i’m not sure i’m the best person to help you due to my personal story but i’ll tell you and then offer some advice that may 100% conflict with your situation

i wouldn’t say that i “identified” as bi so much as i was bi for nearly 2 decades of my life. granted i didn’t know i liked women until pretty late on and there were instances of comp het as a kid but there were genuine times when i liked men and in fact i was in love with one when i was 19 although the circumstances surrounding him are extremely murky and complicated and difficult to explain so i’m skipping past it, but it’s not rlly relevant

sexuality is fluid which is TRUE but you only really ever hear it when men are trying to “turn” lesbians. and i don’t often say this online because i know it would get misconstrued and i get why, but it’s true anyway: i used to be attracted to men, but i’m not anymore. i used to be bi, but i’m not anymore

anyway i also recently came to the conclusion that i have an unhealthy relationship with sex, so thats where this story is going. in college a lot of the times i slept with someone it was less because sex was fun and more that being a partygirl and a slut was fun, which is still true. so anyway, there came a time around age 19/20 when i started to question if i still liked men. to help decide this, the most obvious solution (to me) was to sleep with men and women and compare the two. so, tinder.

anyway it took me nearly a year of experimenting to come to the conclusion, and i remember the moment exceptionally clearly when i looked up and thought “i’m a lesbian” and the experiment was over. also it was the middle of the night and i wasn’t going back to college until three days later, so i kicked this couple out of my room and stewed in this realization for several days. my family was working, and i wasn’t, so i spent those three days chanting “i’m a lesbian” to myself in the mirror trying to get it to stop feeling so horrible in my mouth. i knew other lesbians, and that was totally cool for them, but i didn’t realize how much internalized lesbophobia i still had until those 3 days, and the following three weeks after when just thinking about it gave me panic attacks. this felt dumb since i already knew i liked women, so i really wasn’t prepared for how scary not liking men was. i was also going thru some trauma the summer before and this brought back some dissociative episodes that hadn’t happened since i’d started therapy that fall! so that was fun

so i’m DEFINITELY not endorsing any of this for you, ‘cause like i said, this isn’t a super healthy relationship with sex. it was fine for me but it’s probably not fine for a lot of people. so what i’m going to say to you is something that didn’t really click for a long time, but makes sense now: if the question’s come up, it’s probably true. straight kids don’t sit around questioning their sexuality, and neither do cis kids with their gender. they should but they just don’t wonder about it. they just don’t. also, this post rang very true for me.

now, i know that bi people also often are subjected to so much bi erasure that they forget it themselves, and find themselves oscillating bt feeling straight & gay depending on the day and who they’re looking at, etc. so that could be what’s happening! or, you could be experiencing the fact that being a lesbian is so much fucking scarier than you ever thought it would be, because you were fine with it until it was applied to you.

i’ve actually had this conversation with a couple of friends and ended up helping them realize that they were in fact lesbians experiencing this very thing! i happened to only have gay guy friends and wasn’t out to my parents and my siblings lived far away, so i had no one to talk to about this. so that’s part of why i like being there for other people going through the same things! so feel free to DM me and we can talk if you want, sorry this is so rambly but i can help you more if i know more about you/your experiences. and theres nothing wrong with being a lesbian, and you’re allowed if you want to! i know this is a scary time, so i’m sending love too.😊🏳️‍🌈 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#les tag #anon #ask

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honeyrose-tea · 3 years

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hey, sorry I've been absent, I'm having some problems with my computer so I've spent the past week trying to deal with that. I did actually listen to the song you posted. it sounded amazing! how have you been? hows school? tell me about this dream that you had. -🌙

I'm sorry your computer has been giving you a hard time, that must be awful. I hope that you get it all worked out and that it doesn't end up costing too much or inconveniencing you terribly in the meantime. these days computers are our whole lives, so I'm sure it's difficult dealing with a faulty one. I'm happy to hear from you, and I hope you're doing well.

I'm really glad you liked my song. which one did you listen to? I posted two at the same time, one is called Washington and the other is called Memories You May Have Forgotten. I'm interested to hear your thoughts about what you listened to.

on the subject of songs, I covered a song that a small semi-local band that I found through a friend-of-a-friend wrote. I talked to one of the members (who I followed on twitter before I knew he was part of the band) and mentioned I was thinking of covering the song and he seemed really excited that someone liked their song enough to cover it. and his excitement made me really want to record it, so I did. I'm figuring out that having an audience is an important part of my motivation to create. I sent him the song privately and he said he really liked it, but I don't want to post it. although he was nothing but nice in our conversation I got a weird vibe off him and I don't think he likes me that much, as a person or a musician. maybe I'm reading too far into things.

as for me, I am well. I've been attending my classes online and that's going good. I do basically nothing else. all my friends are away at school too, and even if they were in town I couldn't see them. I text a bit with them, but I'm not close enough with anyone to call them. so most of my thoughts and musings stay between me, you, my journal, and occasionally my parents. it is boring but I am staying safe and getting in tune with myself again after a rough 6 months, and as I have mentioned previously I have a feeling that this time of introspection will serve me well in the months to come. thank you for asking:)

now on to the subject of the dream. it was, of course, about Eli. the backstory for this is that I'm a very cuddly person, physical touch is one of my top love languages and it's also how I give love most often. not only is it super instinctual for me to give, it's also something I crave receiving because I don't get it in many of my other relationships. the reason of course being that society has made associations between any physical touch (even strictly non-sexual) and sex/romance, so most friends and family members won't do it. there is also now the added component of covid.

the dream was set in a coffee shop that had beds instead of booths, and in my mind this was not odd at all. apparently they were trying to promote a really cozy homey vibe. there was some big event taking place and Eli and I ended up in a bed together because all the others were taken. it wasn't at all sexual/romantic, it was honestly quite awkward and we weren't touching at all. it was a big bed. everyone left but neither of us got up. it was quiet and a little tense, as I'm sure it would be in real life if this were to happen. he was playing on his phone. I said softly that I was sorry if I was in the way, that if he needed to get out he could ask (since his side was against the wall). and then the most wonderful thing happened. he turned to me, looked me deep in my eyes the way only a few people ever have, and told me that I wasn't in the way at all, and then he said something to me about “not even knowing you were there” which we both knew was not referring to the bed, but to his heart. I don't know how, it was just something in his tone. I know that's incredibly corny and my conscious brain finds that repulsive, but my subconscious is apparently cheesy as hell.

as he spoke he took my hands in his and it was real, I could feel it. I miss his hands so much. I know it's a stupid thing to miss. I miss a lot more about him than his body. and even how I feel about his body is all tied up in the way I feel about his personality and the way he treated me. it wasn't just his hands but it was how they touched me, how he used them, how comforted and safe his touch made me feel because it was a material reminder he was right there next to me, that whatever was happening we would get through it together. anyway. later in the dream I got up to do something and when I laid back down he draped his arm over me and we spooned a little. there was a quilt over top of us that hadn't previously been there, it looked a lot like the one my mom and dad have on their bed. though they have plenty of faults, my mom and dad have always been a near-flawless example of marriage. they represent love to me more than anything. I think that's part of the symbolism of the quilt, I think of my parents' relationship as the ideal love and anything that mirrors it is a success to me. I'm rambling again. that's all I can remember of it.

I cried several times the other day thinking about the dream, and I'm fully aware of how stupid and childish that sounds. it was so awful and yet so perfect, for a split second I was back in his arms secure and loved and *home*, in a way that I have not been before him and have not been since. it was so real and it made me love him all over again, but that made the loss I felt upon waking up that much worse. the dream has faded almost completely from memory now, and I can't feel his touch anymore. but for the whole day I could feel it, I could feel his hands holding mine and his arms around me. this all sounds so stupid and I hate myself for writing it. I hate that I'm this person who can't give up on anything and loves people so much that I let them destroy me I hate it. I know you think I'm young and naive and foolish. in my heart I know you're right, but I don't know what else I can be. to harden myself off feels like an injustice to who I am and to the world. I firmly believe that love is the only thing that matters in this world, and who am I if I stop loving with all of my being? I think I am the way I am for a reason, and someday it will pay off if I don't give up. someday I will find someone who will appreciate me and I will find friends who want to spend time with me and I'll build a community with all these people that I love and who appreciate me for who I am. I'm all for improving my flaws but I don't think that loving wholeheartedly is a flaw, even though doing so has hurt me countless times. even as I say all these things I know how stupid and immature they sound. this all sounds like fairytale nonsense. but I don't know how to stop hoping for the best and believing that life will turn out well. I don't know if I would if I could. I think that would destroy my will to live.

this has all been one big digression as usual, but thank you for listening to me. I'm sorry this took me a while to post, I had to do some agonizing over it all before I was satisfied as I'm sure you can tell. I hope you're well and that things with your computer improve. xxx

#pen pal #eli

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