#id conjur up in my mind and then thatd make me wanna die even more bc the only way to avoid a tragedy like that in my mind was to not be

[pcktknife]

i am always filled with so much dread

#kae.txt #when i was 13 i used to lie awake in bed thinking about climate change and disastrous weather phenoma and i would just lie there in silence #and fear and uncertainty and any night it was hotter than like a cool 65-70F id just get even worse cause it felt like everything would be #immediate and there was nothing i could do about it and i was suicidal then too but i didnt wanna die in whatever climate based death #id conjur up in my mind and then thatd make me wanna die even more bc the only way to avoid a tragedy like that in my mind was to not be #there for the tragedy when it happened #anyways im full of dread #a different thing im not worried about the weather right now i havent been scared like that in a while #it feels silly to share but i want it off my chest and out of my head and its too late to talk to anyone