#idk man I just tend to feel like I don't fit into fandoms and enjoy things differently from everyone else

[mendely]

Not to be a downer on main but I gotta get things off my chest. This post is going to be long and rambly and clumsily written to the nth degree, so please bear with me just a moment.

For one, I really don't feel like I fit in with the Snape fan crowd. I'm not interested in discussing the book meta (HP series' writing decisions leave me dissatisfied), I'm not a fan of the Snape design in the books, I fuck right off as soon as I get a remote whiff of Snape vs Marauders discourse (seriously, please stop arguing about this. Touch some grass). I don't even find him that sexy either; Alan Rickman radiates charm and charisma, but to me it instead makes Snape appealing in an aesthetic manner. It goes without saying I'm also very much anti-JK Rowling, both politically and artistically. We all know she's a virulent, egotistical bigot. I genuinely don't enjoy what she's done with the character, and personally, Alan Rickman did a lot of heavy lifting to make Snape endearing.

In short my interest in the character lies solely in the actor and the character design from the films. I prefer to draw him differently from most fanart, rounder and softer and heavier to match the actor's physique, rather than being lanky and pointy like a Disney villain as he was depicted in the books. I'm not immune to cool goth uncle Alan Rickman with the tousled hair and swishy robes, so I lifted that entire look for one of my character designs. Plus it gives me the chance to draw something I like without having to invoke the name of the TERF or her bloated wizard franchise. Snape fandom hasn't noticed, but it's not like most of them will enjoy what they'd see anyway, since the character's resemblance to Snape is limited to being Alan Rickman with long hair and black robes and none of the traits that most Snape fandom loves him for.

I really don't know where this rant is going. I guess these are all the reasons why I feel hesitant about posting more Snape content or interacting much with fandom really. He is wildly out of character in most of my doodles of him and at this rate I might as well just stop calling him Snape and start calling him my OC (a step I've already gotten to).

Sorry if this was incoherent

#do I tag this #? #snape fandom #idk man I just tend to feel like I don't fit into fandoms and enjoy things differently from everyone else #and i have so many unpopular opinions about severus snape that i am sure i will get yelled at for #agghhh

[olderthannetfic]

I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

--

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

[cursedvibes]

For the headcanon thing: Higuruma. And in case someone else has already asked about him, then Megumi.

Had fun reading your thoughts on the others! Always cracks me up how wildly different our shipping tastes are 😂

Yeah, we agree on the love for Yuuji and Kenjaku, but as far as ships are concerned, it's polar opposites xD Haven't done either yet, so here we go, hope this will be as entertaining as the rest!

Higuruma

Sexuality Headcanon:

Ace and/or gay I would say. He's in his mid-30s, has a well-paying job, but isn't in a relationship much less married or with kids. Not what's expected of men his age, which makes me think he's definitely not straight. Kinda like Takaba, except he doesn't even have the excuse of not being able to support a family (not that that's necessary of course, but it's what society expects of him). Contrary to Takaba, I don't think he's that involved with the queer community though. Maybe has a couple of queer friends like his assistant and that's it.

Gender Headcanon:

Probably cis man, but I'm not super set on it (maybe he isn't either, who knows).

A ship I have with said character:

Hm, I do like some of the Higuruma/Kusakabe fanart, but there's not really that much there for me to get invested. Kusakabe said one heroic sentence that became pointless 10 minutes later. And he was down about it, but compared to Yaga for example, Kusakabe got over it pretty quickly. People also ship them because of the dark hair and similar age, but I don't really care about that. Honestly, the only one who we have seen Higuruma have deep connection with is Yuuji, he otherwise keeps to himself.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Yuuji. I really like the talk after their fight and when they meet to discuss the Sukuna fight. Especially the second one is really nice. Seems very intimate and fragile. Both want to sacrifice themselves to safe the other, both see their own life as worthless, but they encourage each other while not judging them for being suicidal. (being suicidal together makes everything better :D) I like how they are just kind of silently there for each other without any big gestures. Higuruma doesn't want to look Yuuji in the eyes, but he still likes having him around and enjoys his company despite the guilt that comes with it.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Haven't really seen a Higuruma ship I didn't like at all.

A random headcanon:

Another reason for why he couldn't hit Sukuna with the executioner sword (besides Yuuji having to be the one to execute his death sentence and right his own) is that he's not actually a good judge or maybe it's not a profession he would be really happy with. It gives him an opportunity to take the law into his own hand and interpret it as he sees right, but he's actually much better as a lawyer put in to defend people. He doesn't always succeed, but it's what fits him most. not really a hc I guess, more text, but whatever

General Opinion over said character:

I like him, he's a good character. I feel like there could've been done more with his death, but it was nice for what it was.

Megumi

Sexuality Headcanon:

Pretty confidently ace, but probably bi- or homoromantic

Gender Headcanon:

He often gets interpreted as trans masc because of his name and how he doesn't really like it and I think that makes sense. Could see it. Might even be subtext and not just a headcanon. I don't like how the fandom tends to fetishize him because of that though. Tells me a lot about how they see trans men/trans masc people...

A ship I have with said character:

None really. ItaFushi is okay I guess, but I'm not that invested in them.

A BROTP I have with said character:

With Yuuji. They have a nice bond. Very self-sacrificial and dramatic. Actually quite a lot of similar themes to Yuuji & Higuruma now that I think about it, but I like them more than ItaFushi.

A NOTP I have with said character:

idk, the dude gets shipped with everyone, especially if they have a dick, so there's plenty to choose from. The one who annoys me most is Toji/Megumi probably.

A random headcanon:

He wasn't that close physically or emotionally with Tsumiki and kind of took her for granted until she fell into a coma. Of course they care about each other, but he just didn't allow himself to show that most of the time. And honestly, he hasn't gotten any better at it over the course of the coma. Yorozu should've punched him.

General Opinion over said character:

His fine. Not a huge fan of him, but he doesn't bother me either. Honestly, I often forget he's technically still in this story beyond the vague knowledge that Yuuji fights to safe him. I think his submersion by Sukuna and trauma through seeing Tsumiki's body die wasn't handled very well. There could've been done way more with it. It was almost handled like a footnote to Sukuna throwing his power around.

#asks #higuruma hiromi

[monstersinthecosmos]

Isn't it implied that Armand was sexually abused even before Marius when he was basically a child sex trafficking victim? Kind of don't even want RJ to touch that backstory at all at this point tbh

Oh yes, I would say it's not even "implied" as much as very clearly part of his backstory. He's kidnapped and trafficked and winds up with Marius because Marius purchases him.

I will say when I talked about this yesterday I said "Especially because Armand's experience of it doesn't fit neatly into RJ's whole 'rape makes you tougher' trope since Armand doesn't ask the reader to think of it as rape." which!!!!!! I will fine tune here and say I meant his experiences with Marius are the rape he doesn't try to sell us as rape. Please don't get me started on TVA meta and Armand's reliability as a narrator since we are in AMC land today on this post. He's clear about what happens to him when he's trafficked, and when Marius first "rescues" him he's so traumatized that he's nonverbal.

So it absolutely does not make him tougher; it makes him traumatized and vulnerable. I think even his respite of living with Marius is undone when he gets to the cult and re-embraces his fervent religious beliefs. It makes me wonder if he's overcorrecting and seeing his time with Marius as sin. He doesn't recover from this for like 300 years!

But that kinda leans into like a lot of the casual readers' ambiguity about who & what Marius is, also about Anne's intentions writing it/the branding contamination of her erotica career. I would even argue that a lot of casual readers don't even make it this far into the series, anyway. This is probably the most divisive book in the series because some people read it as fun vampire erotica that's just packed to the rafters with sexy & extremely common kink tropes, other people go WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? lol.

I'm not completely buying that the team on this show actually read the whole series, or at least not as deeply as fandom nerds have 😂, and like I think everyone has to remember that Tumblr & fandoming are echochambers and people outside in the regular world tend not to be this sensitive to these topics. Especially when it comes to topics that are more familiar in queer spaces. So it wouldn't surprise me if the Venice era was read uncritically. I almost wanna say maybe even read as Anne intended but what the fuck has this show told us about what Anne intended? LOL.

But there's a lot of ambiguity in TVA with Marius's intentions again don't let me waste Marius meta on an AMC post and the thing people often romanticize about him is that he rescued Armand. And like I just wonder if the show, seeing how they're handling Claudia, would lean into the like Ricean precocious child trope and try to play it off that Armand is asking for it or enjoying it.

And much like the way they're portraying Lestat, I think it's worth noting that Marius's actons often come from grounded places, and the harm he does is not always intentional. Personally I don't think the show has framed Lestat as particularly sympathetic, although they've given us some clues about why he's like this. I think fandom is really extrapolating on that stuff and woobifying him LOL so just. WHEW WOULD THEY DO THAT TO MARIUS? HAHA. fucken yiiikes.

I am *eating popcorn gif* waiting to see if the completely rampant Lestat apologism will extend to Marius bc it's hilarious to me that he has been demonized by fandom along with his fans but yet Domestic Abuser Lestat is just sad about his ex uwu louis is so mean 2 him

So anyway yeah idk man. I'm not thrilled with what the show is saying about teenagers and sexual assault so I definitely have some concerns about Armand. But I also feel like it would be such a cop out to age him up, because him being turned at 17 and looking like that is so important to his character. All of this stuff is important to his character. Like idk I don't want them to shy away from these topics but I just hope like, if there's meaningful feedback from Season 1 maybe they write it more sensitively and with more nuance going forward.

I hate to say it but we can only hope that the show continues on its path of making it the fuck up and maybe none of this will make it to the screen anyway. hopes & prayers. please leave my son out of this adshjgkadg

#vampire pajama party on amc

[marquisguyun]

Oooh a new svsss ask game!

Yes, i'd like to ask:

1, 10, 5, and 24 🤔🥺

Hi, tysm for the ask!

If you were to be one of Binghe's wives- what would you want to be known for by the PIDW fandom?

Honestly I have a really hard time imagining myself in that situation, it's so foreign to my personal experience... I would probably fade into the background. Maybe I could get into sewing and embroider really nice clothes? That would be cool

5. Who do you ship? Is this your usual favorite ship dynamic?

Oh this is a fun question!! I have so many ships! Here are a few that I really enjoy:

Bingqiu

Qijiu

Bingjiu

Shencest

Bingyuan

Jiuplane

Bingqijiu

Qijiuplane

I also have huge respect for Moshang as a canon ship, I just don't tend to seek out fanworks of it. Unfortunately I do not control what I get brain worms about. Other ships I have read and enjoyed but didn't feel made the list: Cumplane, Bingliushen, Liushen (highly dependent on how binghe is handled unless it is a major au), LiuJiu, LiuQiJiu (which I've actually written for) As for how my SV ships compare to my usual types? Idk man, there are a lot of different vibes here, so I'm not sure what my "usual favorite ship dynamic" is... I'm sure there are trends in my favorite ships, but also I'm just a huge multishipper who likes to experiment with different pairings and sometimes gets attached

10. How do you feel about Shen Jiu?

lmao

He's exactly the kind of character I tend to latch on to. I'm a sucker for an interesting tragic backstory. I'm not going to pretend I'm not biased or that I'm not guilty of woobifying him on occasion (I have a bad habit of glossing over the cultivation manual incident.) I do try to ground my characterization in canon. But overall my feelings are very positive!

24. If you had to be a disciple, which sect would you wish to join?

I'm going to be biased and say CQMS. The digging holes entrance test would probably stress me out tho because I wouldn't know if I was doing it right. I'm not sure which peak I'd want tho. Younger me would definitely fit in on Qing Jing with its emphasis on scholarship/art, but I'm pretty burnt out at this point.

#svsss #this is from forever ago but i'm trying to clear out my drafts and i didn't want to delete it #it was mostly done anyway #all of the questions were at least partially answered

[wooahaes]

i get you 💕 oh that's such a nice one for your first! my first tattoo was a cat, i need to get it redone though as the original tattooist kinda ruined it :( a sunflower would be so beautiful, i love sunflowers 🌻

i was watching one of their mafia games and it's the one where mingyu, vernon & dino are the mafias and hoshi is basically A GENIUS at figuring out who's who i love him !!

ALSO HOSHI IS IN MY BIAS LIST. I WAS UNSURE BC I WAS SWITCHING BETWEEN HOSHI AND VERNON BUT HOSHI IS IN THE LIIIIIIST 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

woozi is so funny, his laugh makes me laugh, it just has me in absolute fits of laughter 😭😅 svt are really so supportive to other groups and i love that. they're so positive and so sweet and they're like a big family. honestly the carat fandom and the teume fandom are just so so nice 💙 i feel like they have less drama than other fandoms and the way svt and carats clown 🤡 each other is just SO funny 😭 a treasure-svt interaction will be utter chaos 😭

i honestly feel like i could have the deepest conversations with vernon </3 but i would probably talk to hoshi the most bc i don't think you could shut either of us up cause i talk far too much 😭

OMG YES MEN WHO LOVE CATS, just melts my heart honestly <///3 wonwoo is very much a bias wrecker for me. whoever i don't bias in svt, they bias wreck me instead. but i do absolutely love all of them ♥️

aw :( i hope you get it redone soon then!! but aaa ty!! idk if i'd go with a sunflower specifically (i'd also consider forget-me-nots because they're my fave flower <3) but i just want something small n pretty <3

i really need to go back and watch all of gose tbh... hoshi's either incredibly funny as the mafia or he's usually pretty good at figuring out who the mafia is imo :0

also yay!! i love my horanghae man hehe <3

literally i think i'm the kind of person who tends to laugh when other ppl laugh and woozi's laugh just. clears my skin. all of their laughs do tho <3

omg literally... trsr-svt interaction will end me personally but i want it SO bad. i think they'd have fun <3 i'd jokingly say "there rly should be a leader swap series somewhere for groups that aren't actively promoting" or something (maybe just some sort of game situation? who knows) but god... the chaos potential there....

also YESS i've said it SO many times before to friends that i'd love to sit down and just have conversations with vernon. just talk abt life or what movies he's been enjoying n stuff. also i want to share dumb memes w him. hoshi i would subject to the entire hsm trilogy. he needs to see it <3 also tbh i'd subject vernon to the hsm trilogy. all of svt needs to watch hsm right now and i need to be there to document reactions.

men who loves cats and men who are good w kids/babies... i am describing skz lee know rn ... there's just someting so attractive n sweet abt men who are good with both <3 but i felt tht entirely!! svt is my main three main biases (one of which tends to cycle between wonwoo and vernon) and then the rest are bias wreckers. they're all so good <3

#wooahaes.ask #heather ☁️

[anjumstar]

Ok I read your post. Literally sat down with my cup of morning coffee first thing in the morning and read it start to finish. I was busy traveling which is why I'm just getting back to you now though, by ask because my followers probably aren't expecting a reblogged discussion of top/bottom dynamics on my otherwise sfw blog.

So let me know if I'm getting this right:

Like, Bakugo wanting to give something to Izuku he would never give anyone else (the vulnerability, I mean!!! not, y'know, access to his... god, just forget it). And their relationship has shifted so fundamentally since when they were kids, multiple times, and opening up (figuratively!!) in such a way to Izuku is just another way for him to shift from whatever toxic shit they had going on earlier to the mutual love and understanding and willingness to be vulnerable with each other they have now. I don't even know if that makes sense. The point is, I totally hc them as vers now.

Also Izuku taking charge. It really is such a huge part of his character, becoming stronger and a leader and more confident and it's so easy to set that aside and focus on his cute, bubbly side but my man's got both! Honestly it's why I tend to avoid fics in general, and fandom too (tho I'm weak and couldn't stay away from mha/bkdk tumblr). I'm always afraid that the versions of characters in my head will be fanonized. I hope I didn't do that to Izuku and Kacchan, ykwim? :| (If you ever wanna like, idk, 👉👈 check out one of my fics and tell me if you think I got them right, that would be cool but no worries if not.)

Also I get what you mean about the feminized Izuku, no shade to anyone who likes that (I mean, he did wear a maid costume in MHA Smash and he does look cute with puppy dog eyes and bunny ears) but omega/bunny/thicc/size-difference Izuku isn't really my thing because... Well, I prefer canonverse too and I've rewatched dvk2 like four times and for me it really hammers home that their power dynamic has evened out so any dom/sub-type dynamic doesn't feel like it fits.

[also re: soyboy. If you check my blog on mobile, it has the urban dictionary definition of soyboy as the header. Plus the first syllable of my irl name sounds like "soy" so that's why I picked it haha :) ]

I'm so flattered that you bothered to read all that word vom! I hope that you're traveling for something fun, or at least that the travels go well. And yeah, please, keep your blog sfw if that's what it is, lol. I'm such a mess in that respect.

But yes, I'd say you've distilled my opinion! Thank you, haha. Squeezed some good puns in there as well. I'm glad you've been pulled over to vers, tho 😈 I know I said that I wasn't trying to convert you, but let's face it, I'm always lowkey trying to convert people, hahahaha. I wish I weren't but I just want people to like what I like, lol.

The way you broke my heart when you said you avoid fics 💀 Let me send you recs! I think I've got an idea of your taste and I can PROMISE quality! However, avoiding fandom is a good choice, haha. Like, I'm happy about all the friends I'm making, and I have a very visceral need to have many many bkdkbks to scream about our boys with, but at the same time, there are a lot of ways in which I was happier in past fandoms where I wasn't involved in the fandom beyond reading and writing fanfic. I could engage with only the content I enjoyed much easier. So, you know, some of this, some of that.

I'd totally read your stuff! Message me or otherwise lmk what one you want me to try and I'll word vom at you again!

#omg i had no clue that's what soyboy meant 💀 #how embarrassing #i feel so old #actualsoyboy #anjum answers #not/sfw