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#idk man. i wish i wasn’t so desperately passionate about two very different things
good-night-space-kid · 6 months
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Every time that I think maybe I should just focus on geology I have a public history experience that makes me wish desperately that I could spend the rest of my life in a history museum
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harrysdimples · 3 years
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evermore track by track review (reaction?)
you know what time it is babieeeeeee......
willow
lovely little plucky guitar. I like the piano arrangement in the background. her vocals sound really lovely in the chorus and in the back of the second verse. i’m going to try and judge this as a separate project from folklore because it’s supposed to be just a complementary project but inevitably there will be comparisons. the 1 as an opening track is probably my preference over this I think on first listen. the bridge (?) is probably my favourite part of the song before the 90s trend line lol (just takes me out the song, kinda like the tweet line that’s in the lakes) but her vocals and how mature her voice sounds are just really light and airy and it’s nice to hear. but this is a lot more rhythmic than most of folklore which is something I appreciate and has enough dynamics so that you’re not bored, although the outro could’ve maybe been shortened a bit (but that’s a nitpicky thing lol). that’s her man!
ok I realised half way through happiness that I HAD PUT THE ALBUM ON SHUFFLE BY ACCIDENT WHICH IS BLASPHEMOUS AND SOMETHING I HATE DOING. I apologise sincerely lmao every song after this is in order with the album track list.
happiness
love a synth. ‘I can’t face reinvention’ ok bitch call me out ??? the lyrics are very lovely, as always. what’s/who’s this about ? lmao. it’s very pretty but not sure it’s going anywhere? more instrumentation could’ve maybe elevated this song just because I feel the lyrics are so flowery and beautiful that they deserve to either be in complete isolation (like from the dining table’s production) or some grandiose orchestral arrangement to properly show off how great and genuinely heartbreaking they are. I have no doubt at some point i’ll lie in the dark at some point and sob to this though loooool.
champagne problems 
ah bitch. the opening line already got me. again, the lyrics on this one are cutting me deep and I really like the production in the second half of the song, it really picks up the song when I was worried the production wasn’t going to be for me. the background vocals and harmonies are lovely. I think the lyricism of this song is so important and reminds me of what jack said in the long pond sessions about people with mental health issues never receiving proper recognition for just doing as okay as they can be because to other people, it’s either not enough or they just don’t get how difficult it is to maintain that level of ‘normalcy’. The idea of people dismissing things as ‘champagne problems’ is so poignant when you think of the fact that so many people disregard mental health issues until they’re directly affected by it in some way and treat others as outsiders/bad apples/something to only remember as a cautionary tale and to be forgotten otherwise. the numbness of trying to feel things (like going on the train) and participating in life and trying to believe that you deserve something good, a relationship, love etc but knowing that people are only waiting for you to fail so they can inevitably move on is so sad. my favourite out of the 3 tracks so far.
gold rush
good old jack antonoff production. girl how many people are wanting to get with joe ???? I really like the lyricism again, and the ‘what must it be like to grow up that beautiful’ bit kinda reminds of olivia’s instrumentation for some reason lol. I wish this hit a little harder because it’s on the precipice of greatness but doesn’t get quite there for me, kinda like the archer. loved the production, but I had anticipated it to have this big build up which it didn’t quite hit for me. I am listening to this currently at night with my blinds shut but I know that when it’s in the daytime/sun this will sound so good, so i’m excited to replay this one. update: it’s the next day and I LOVE this.
tis the damn season
hm. this one was pretty middling for me i’m ngl. I don’t think i’ve had enough love/life experience to really relate to this that much (which isn’t taylor or the song’s fault obvs) but I found it hard to ~connect to and the production didn’t really excite me enough to feel too passionate about it. very much enjoyed the “So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends, Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it” line though lol!
tolerate it
I really like this. really encapsulated the feeling of trying your hardest to meet someone’s expectations of you/your relationship and fitting yourself into parameters to suit their needs/what they want and yet you’re still considered on the outskirts of their life. Trying desperately to make that person care as much as you do for them, but in reality your actions just further the reasons why they don’t want you and why your actions are ignored/silently belittled. Feels like this is a good companion piece to a lot of the folklore tracks and could’ve fitted on that album yet is still different enough to stand out. will def be coming back to this.
no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)
ok so taylor’s having her before he cheats moment?? someone should be working on a mashup asap. you know i’m a sucker for country yeehaw bops so i’ll definitely be playing this on repeat lol, so far probably the most upbeat track along with gold rush and this is probably my favourite track so far. the storytelling through the lyricism is fabulous and I really love the little production elements like danielle saying “she was with me dude” lol, I don’t have a lot of experience/references for “real” country music so if this is a little corny idk but I like it anyway lmao
dorothea
this was a sweet song, might be completely off the mark with this interpretation, but I sort of viewed this as taylor speaking to her younger self and telling her how she can always go back to who she was after becoming too enchanted with fame and the troubles that come with it/experiencing the consequences of fame, and that inevitably it’ll be okay in the end. a nice reassuring, pleasant song. not sure how much replay value it’ll have for me personally but I appreciate it :’)
coney island feat. the national
I like this for the most part. I think it’ll be a grower but I can see this moving up in my ranks once I listen to it a bit more. the second half of the song after the bridge is definitely better than the first and I really like it, but the first half isn’t my favourite. I think within some of the lyrics there are some clunky lines and I’m not sure how well the dueting partner works (idk if that’s aaron dessner or someone else?) but I think another softer (?) male voice could’ve gone better with it, or just taylor herself. the instrumentation and production on this song is fantastic though and I really love the bridge (although the idea of joe and taylor coming together to write about all of taylor’s exes makes me lol)
ivy:
the chord progression really reminds me of like 80% of folklore and idk if this track was “necessary” even though she’s perfectly entitled to her art obvs. but in the context of the album idk if this was needed, probably the most filler-like of all of them so far (for me personally). it’s sort of like a long poem to me and the subject matter of infidelity is always interesting when taylor covers it, but idk, this didn’t do too much for me on first listen
cowboy like me
this feels like a movie or video game soundtrack song, I always appreciate a good guitar solo and the instrumentation in this song is great. I don’t know how much this goes anywhere until the bridge but I love the line “now you hang from my lips, like the gardens of babylon, with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con”. I think this has the potential to be a major grower on me though purely bc of how melodic it is and how “vibey” it is.
long story short
yeah this wasn’t really for me. I can appreciate it’s objectively a well produced song with some good lyrics, it just didn’t really click for me sadly upon first listen.
marjorie
yeah so this made me sob. as some of you may know I lost my grandma two weeks ago suddenly so...yeah, this song just really hit me. this is a beautiful track.
closure
what is going on here on this day lmao? reaaaaaaallly not a fan of the production and the synthetic (?) drums that were used on this track and I don’t think the use of repetition in the chorus’ lyricism really works that well here. idk it just feels a little unfinished to me
evermore feat. bon iver
I think this is too lyrically dense for my brain to properly intake after the long road it took to get to this track lol so I think i’ll need some time with it. I don’t think bon iver’s addition works as well as exile but I like the second half of the song which he’s in, in comparison to the first half, it does kinda feel like two songs put into one though. taylor’s vocals sound nice though. 
in conclusion:
favourites: tolerate it, gold rush, champagne problems, no body, no crime, marjorie
in between/grower: cowboy like me
meh: tis the damn season, willow, doreathea, evermore
didn’t really like: ivy, long story short, closure
I feel like i’m going to be crucified for saying this but this feels like a lover-fied version of folklore ajfkhsas if that makes ANY sense to anyone but my own brain. I said when I did this same kind of post for folklore that the album did what the concept for lover tried to do (the love letter to different kinds of love) 10x better and I was happy to see this kind of direction from her. I still love folklore and I think it’s a true piece of art and it ranks high in my tiers of taylor albums, but this just kinda misses the mark for me for the most part (on first listen). It’s very lyrically dense, which is nice, but much less accessible than folklore to me in terms of melodies and the overall structure of some of the songs, which is again, fine, but not necessarily what I had anticipated going into this album and generally usually isn’t my thing. for all that i’ve said about jack’s production in some songs on previous albums of taylor’s, his presence here is missed imo. I’ve expressed that I don’t particularly enjoy long albums because eventually the flow of the album is lost, and that is true here. around the ivy/long story short stretch it kinda loses ground which is a shame because there is some beautiful lyricism in there, but it’s even more susceptible to risking being brought down by the sequencing when it’s a sister album to another project and will end up being compared to that and the tracks there. given the style of music this is in, the fact that it’s a sister album and so long, it’s got a lot against it and I don’t know if it manages to overcome those hurdles for me personally. It’s like what harry said about sequencing, the track listing is so important imo to the purpose and arc of the album that you want to tell and I feel like there could’ve been a lot more “editing” of this project to make it stand up to the highs of folklore imo, or potentially editing down folklore to combine it with some of the really strong tracks on evermore like goldrush, no body no crime etc. I don’t know if the narrative of this album is unique enough to stand against folklore and some of taylor’s other albums for me. I will be returning to these songs for sure, but the sequencing and overall structure of this album kinda lets it down. I can’t help but ponder if this album will age well in comparison to folklore, or both albums will age well with the narrative fuelling it being created in quarantine and as a product of boredom. if folklore wins AOTY at the grammys (which it seems it’s secured to at this point), it’s going to be tied to the “corona year” so it’ll be interesting to see where these projects end up and how well received they are in years to come vs taylor’s other projects and how they’ve aged. we’ll see! i’d probably give it a 7.5/10 in comparison to the 9/10 for folklore. 
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alexmanesairstream · 4 years
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Okay. Time for my ramblings. You're all free to not read a word of this but I just needed to put my thoughts out there. So. Going into s2, my only reason for watching the show was seeing Alex Manes (bc Tyler is one of my all time favourite actors and also just ALEX MANES). But after seeing the promo and fan chatter before the premier I admit getting my hopes up and becoming a little more open to the entire show as a whole again. I had hoped that s2 would be a huge improvement in terms of writing, consistency, good representation and overall storytelling. Anyways, here’s just some thoughts I’ve had after the first episode if you care to read it. I've left the Malex (and Maria) thoughts to the end bc I wanted to speak about the entire episode first. The Malex part is right at the end if anyone is reading this and only wants to read that part.
Firstly, the episode felt very disconnected. I know there was a time jump but that also left so many questions unanswered.
Kyle and Alex are well aware of the alien secret, so it made no sense that they were in the dark about Rosa being alive and Max being dead. I would've thought that both of them would've been made aware of it immediately.
This may be more of a personal preference but I've always been more interested in sci-fi aspects of the show since I always find supernatural elements on shows to become repetitive and far fetched (yes I know it's supernatural but I've always liked when there was a scientific or logical explanation behind something). Ep1 (and I know Carina said this season would explore supernatural elements and not the sci-fi aspects of it) hinted a very big supernatural storyline which I wasn't too keen on- it just gave off some big vampire diaries 'the other side' vibes. I really wish they would've explores a more unique and original storyline rather than something so repetitive with regards to Max.
Now for the science and little sci-fi parts, I know they're strained for time so there's a lot that they have to leave out but most of the science seemed far fetched or rather lacking any good grounding explanation. I get that it's a show but I would've liked for it to have made some sense rather than the random stuff Michael and Liz would say that seemingly came out of thin air. Especially when they were having their science Bro moments and interacting with substances etc- where are these substances from? What to they do? How did you get it? Idk maybe I'm being overly obsessive over this but it irks me bc I always lose interest when I can't coherently follow a storyline with logic
Rosa being back. I don't have much to say on this. The sister dynamic is kinda cute. I really don't like this weird supernatural connection thing she has with Max. Like I said, very vampire diaries like and it's just not making sense (maybe I didn't pay close enough attention idk). Also, can we get some clarity on her age. She was 19 when she died. So she should be 29 in the present day. But she mentioned something about being the hottest 31 year old when Liz told her to get a license in California. So what's up with that.
Isobel pregnancy : Yeah there's a lot I could say here. I'm assuming they're trying to do a storyline on abortion and a woman's right to her own body which I would be eager to see but at the same time, Isobel being pregnant with her dead abusive rapist's baby seems a lot like it was done for drama (sigh). It also has me wondering how since it was clear in s1 that Isobel didn't want children while Noah did- obviously she may have changed her mind after their reconciliation after she came out of the pod and also bc I accidents happen (do condoms even work with aliens???).
Now for the Malex and Maria part of it:
Since Alex was not aware of Max dying, wouldn't he have then made an effort to speak to Michael again in those two weeks since the finale. I would understand him wanting to give Michael space if he had known about Max dying but since he didn't know, did he just accept that Michael left him waiting at the trailer and leave it at that until after Noah's funeral? That just doesn't make sense to me but moving on
So Michael says that Alex told him he was going to leave the airforce to play music. Lol lots to get into here. Firstly, kinda strange that Alex would have told him that specifically that night in the trailer. Also, I was under the impression that what we were shown on screen was all that there was in that interaction. I don't see at which point Alex could've mentioned him leaving the airforce before Michael had to run out. Secondly, Alex leaving the airforce to play music? That just seems hella out of character and frankly completely unrealistic. Alex has spent the last 10 years gaining different skills, learning new things about himself, evolving and changing as a person. While he may have always had this dream about making music the fact is most people end up studying something or doing something in a different direction than their teenage self wanted. Alex is no different. While he may have wanted to leave the airforce it just doesn't seem plausible that he'd want to explore an entirely new career path as a musician. It would've made more sense for him to go into a career with cyber security and his skills in hacking, coding and programming instead. Also, unless he's got hell money from somewhere it's just completely unrealistic. He's a veteran (there are so many homeless, unemployed, uninsured, struggling veterans) who surely would need a stable income. It just feels like it's some a random storyline to have when there's been no indication of it, and it's completely out of character for Alex to decide to pursue music after 10 years in the airforce when we aren't even sure if he's done anything related to it in the last 10 years. Maybe I'm being harsh because personally I would've liked Alex to pursue something with the skills he gained in the airforce and also bc I rarely believe anyone is the same person with the same dreams and passions they had when they were a teenager. I mean, we all grow, evolve and change and that's okay. I would've really liked for Alex storyline to have been along those lines- taking what he's learned out of something he didn't necessarily want and taking control of who he is with those skills and his future (apparently in order to be a captain and also to be a code breaker Alex would've need to have gone to college while in the airforce). Idk maybe I'm bias bc I absolutely love seeing BAMF Alex Manes and how smart he is when he's working and code breaking.
Hmm Alex has a house. Like an actual house. And not a single person in the fandom knew this. In fact if Carina hadn't clarified on Twitter, we'd all be confused as hell. Literally everyone thought he lived at the cabin and rightfully so. It also makes me question why Alex had been at the cabin the day Kyle was there if he doesn't live at the cabin. But anyways small details. I'm trying not to be petty. I also really would like to know how Michael knows where Alex lives hmmm
I absolutely loved that Alex's first thought was to give Michael a guitar bc he remembers what he lost when Jesse ruined his hand. I am HERE for Alex Manes' kindness and wholesomeness.
Alex has PTSD. He would never be sitting with his back towards an entry point and music blaring loudly while he didn't have his prosthetic on. Carina responded on Twitter saying his PTSD is from childhood and not the war. I can't really understand how the war and losing a limb would not affect him and his existing PTSD at all. But again, I'll overlook this inconsistency
Michael's little confrontation speech to Alex- totally get it. It makes a lot of sense from Michael's perspective. I do however still have an issue with this thing of Alex 'leaving'. The ONLY time Alex actively left was when he enlisted. Any time after that was beyond his control. He was in the military. He had no choice. I really wish we could at some point see how all of this affected Alex instead of constantly seeing it from a one- sided Michael perspective.
And now Maria and Michael. Just a few words. What the fuck. I say all of this as someone who absolutely believes Malex shouldn't be together right now and who is fully on board with them just being friends right now:
- As someone who loved Maria in the first season and as a woman of colour, I fucking hate her storyline and what they're making her character do. It was cringe and desperate and humiliating for her to be running after Michael after one kiss. And also, SO out of character for her. Maria Deluca is her own saviour and would never run after someone who behaved the way Michael had in that ep. She would abso-fucking-lutely not chase after a man and put herself out there in such a desperate way like that.
- Secondly, has she just forgotten Alex exists? This is so not the Maria we know. Chasing after a man for something when he's not giving anything back in return and not even bothering to speak to Alex or attempt any sort of communication with him before she continues pursuing Michael. It makes no sense. I only see the Maria hate escalating at this point and I don't blame anyone for it. At this point she 100% deserves it. It's so so out of character for her not to have spoken to Alex and to continue pursuing Michael before speaking to Alex.
Honestly I've said it since the start- I hate love triangles and this one in particular rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons. I honestly don't see how we can redeem Maria's character after this mess. The whole Michael and Maria thing is just messy (and not in a cool dramatic TV show way), and is for a lot of us straight up character assassination for both Michael and Maria. I'm just so put off by both of their characters. If they were adamant about this storyline, I wish they'd done it and left Alex out from the start (I said Kylex rights!).
In conclusion, it's a shitshow. The show is just all over the place and the writing doesn't seem to have improved from the inconsistencies and plot holes. There's a lot more I could say but this was all I thought about right now for that episode. I also have so many thoughts on what Carina has recently said but I'm not in the right space of mind to address that rn. She's hell problematic lmao. But anyways, going forward, I'm just here for my Tyler Blackburn and watching him kill it as Alex Manes and I'm kinda really excited to see him with his new love interest.
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sterlingun · 4 years
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Character: ― Nicholas ‘Nik’ Sterling Faceclaim: ― Theo James Age/Pronouns: ― 33 | he/him Occupation:  ― Lycan Alpha Hometown/District: ― born in Downtown, Houston / lives in Upper Springs, Houston
HEADCANONS
Though there’s no real blood relation between Nik and the old Alpha, over the years spent with the Lycans he’s grown to admire the man and regard him as a father figure he desperately lacked all these years. With the old Alpha growing weaker day after day, eaten away by the illness, Nik is terrified of the thought of losing him too, he still considers him his compass and most trusted adviser.
He still hasn’t given up on searching for his sister - even though the odds are against him, he believes he owes it to her to never stop trying, whether he finds her dead or alive. It’s the only remaining loose end from his youth, when his father was still there to wreak havoc on their lives. 
His brother used to show him card tricks when they were kids, and when he joined the Lycans - he left behind a worn deck of playing cards that Nik is still very attached to. It’s the only physical memory he has of his brother. After that, especially when he was on the run he focused a lot of his efforts on card tricks and learning to cheat his way to a win. It was a way to make money when he was on the run, and you can still see him absentmindedly playing with cards to this day, especially when he’s thinking about something, or something is bothering him. 
He wears black leather gloves a lot, and it’s very rare to see him without them - probably only closest to him have seen him without them. When he was a young boy his father would make him and Ethan hold a scorching hot iron bar to ‘test their durability’. It’s not a fond memory for Nik, and neither are the scars. Besides, he’s worn them so much they’re pretty much a part of his image these days. 
If you’re even remotely familiar with the way he walks, you’ll know he has a very specific gait. He tries to compensate for it, make it seem languid and aloof, but it’s still visible, especially on a bad day. This is the result of the first time he tried to kill his father, when the old bastard left him with torn ligaments and a broken patella. 
He’s got a thing for fast, expensive cars and has a garage by the house filled with whatever he’s passionate about currently. Do not start talking about them, because he won’t ever stop - you’ve been warned. He’s quiet usually, but oh boy this topic is a black hole. 
A bit of pyromaniac, if he can set it on fire and has a reason to - he will. And he prefers matches over lighters when it comes to lighting his cigarettes. He won’t ever admit it, but it’s got a lot to do with how he ended his father’s life. 
Watches are his thing. Majorly. You walk into his closet and there’s an entire section dedicated just to expensive, limited-edition Omegas and Patek Philippes and Piagets and god knows what. He thinks it adds to the whole look, plus to be honest - he’s a nerd about this stuff. Also another topic where you do not want to get him started. 
Likes to read a lot. Even if he had no formal education, you can strike up a conversation with him about pretty much anything from philosophy to literature to technology. I think he kind of values knowledge a lot, and it’s his biggest regret he had no chances to actually study and learn about something. 
His biggest vices are whiskey and cigarettes. You can always see him with one or the other, or both - depends on the situation. 
He has a set of two expensive silver guns that were given to him by the old Alpha and he will protect these things with his life. The story goes that Nik’s mom gave these to the old Alpha for their 10th anniversary, but the old man wanted Nik to have them and to remember that even though she made some bad choices, she did love Nik too. 
He’s got a tattoo on his back that says ‘Death before dishonor’ and on his chest a tattoo mimicking a scar from tiger’s claws hides a bullet wound he’d received fighting his father. There’s some small silvery scars on his back, he’s had them since childhood and isn’t too keen on discussing them. 
100% blames himself for losing his sister and the death of his girlfriend, he can’t be reasoned with when it comes to these topics, and even though he won’t admit it - he still has nightmares about both, as well as the death of his brother .You could probably classify him as a chronic insomniac, but try convincing him of that...  
WANTED CONNECTIONS
The Sister - She’s someone he’s lost a long time ago, and he never quite forgave himself for letting their father take her away. He’s spent the years since she’s been gone actively searching for her, either himself or through other means. I feel like he thinks of her as this pure thing from his childhood, untainted by their father because she was kept protected by their mother from young age. I think it’s a complicated relationship, because long ago he probably resented her for being their mother’s first choice while he was left behind, but there’s too much love there to truly ever allow himself to feel that. He wants to find her, but he’s terrified of what life has done to her innocence and well-being, and even more terrified that she’s died along the way because he wasn’t capable of finding her.
The Brother/Sister in Arms - Someone he connected with when he first joined the Lycans. It could either be someone who was suspicious of him at first, or someone who accepted him right away. I think it would make an interesting dynamic either way. Because it was tough for him at first, he was used to being alone and completely incapable of trusting anyone, a bit too familiar with violence given his age, had connections to the Reapers (even though he was obviously against them) etc. So he either butted heads with this person at first or he was trying to shoo them away because they attempted to reach out to him. But now he appreciates that they stuck around through thick and thin and they’re one of those rare people he’d trust with his life. Either male or female I think it could work either way I’d just be super excited to see this happen!
The Ex-brother/sister-in-law - Okay this is something I would love to see happen. Nik blames himself majorly for his late girlfriend’s death, because he pulled her into this life and refused to let go because he’d found someone he felt safe with for the first time. Now this could go either way - this person could be angry and resentful because they blame him for what happened to their sister, or they could be like 'she wouldn’t have listened even if you told her to leave’ because they know how stubborn she was and how much she cared about him, so there was nothing to be done and it was just a tragic story. Anyway this is my shit, there’s angst either way and I’m ready for it.
The Friend from Before - Someone he met and ran with for a certain period of time after he escaped Houston and before he came back and joined the Lycans. I think it opens up a lot of doors - like this person could now be back in town, or they’ve been here for a while, maybe they’re a Reaper (ooh drama), or unaffiliated, or want to join the Lycans, idk the possibilities are endless! I’m just excited about someone who knew him from before, I think that would make for an interesting dynamic to expore esp if there’s angst and someone left someone behind…
The Ex - Okay just like the one before, I’m leaving this pretty open to interpretation. It can be as casual or as angsty as we wish, we’ll just figure it out. I mean that journalist girl he fell in love with was his more serious thing, but he’s not that young I’m sure there’s been a lot of people along the way. It could be his crippling issues that got in the way, or both of them had crippling issues (entirely plausible tbh), they might have been too explosive for each other, or he wanted to protect them… It could be someone like the Friend from Before, so like during that time period (which would be super interesting actually!), or someone from Lycan he’s on bad terms with, or good terms? Honestly, sky’s the limit I just love exploring different dynamics and also heartbreak and also why people don’t end up working together.
The Mentor/Mentees - Ok the old Alpha was his mentor, but tbh I would like to see someone played who took him under his wing back then, like showing him the ropes, teaching him things, practicing with him, building him as a person etc. I just dig that okay? I dig it the other way around too though, so if anyone is willing to be his mentee and go through that stuff, I'm so there for it. Because he sees himself in a lot of the troubled people so he’s always there for it, even through it’s sometimes tough love. We can always work out the dynamics so that it fits both characters, but I would just love to see it happen. I think it brings out the protective/caring side in Nik.
More, more, more!! - I might add things on as I go, but honestly if you have an idea for a connection (does’t have to be one of the above) please feel free to reach out! We’ll work it out and tbh nothing’s set in stone.
THE STORY
He was born in Downtown, Houston - dirt poor trailer park kid who was still too young to be bitter and resentful about the cards he’d been dealt. His father was a petty criminal, hell-bent on trying to impress the Reapers, just as he was hell bent on spending what little money they had on gambling, or beating them and their mother. All in all - his childhood was a bleak series of weeks and months and years, spent alongside his older brother and a younger sister. 
Their father tried to groom Ethan and Nik for the life of crime, wanting to introduce them to the Reapers from a young age. But as soon as those two were capable of thinking for themselves, they realised most of it was just senseless violence and a promise of a life of subservience. They played along to an extent (training-wise) but generally rebelled against him even if they’d earn a beating after that. 
Eventually their mother disappeared, taking their sister along with her. As it would turn out, with Lycans on the rise she saw an opportunity and ran. Nik guesses she thought her ex-husband had already asserted too much influence over Ethan and Nik so they were left behind. There were stories that the Alpha took an interest in her, which sent their father pretty much further over the edge so next few years would be hell for the brothers. 
Nik and Ethan were each other’s stone during those formative years, but eventually their mother reached out to Ethan offering him a way out, leaving Nik behind once again. It was first of many brutal hits to come that Nik would have to learn to deal with.
Enraged by the fact she took his firstborn, Nik’s father tracked down their sister, and as retaliation, took her away from her mother and the Lycans. Nik saw her only briefly, exchanging barely a few words before she was sold off to god knows where. Seeing what his father was truly capable of doing, Nik escaped Houston, his mind set on finding and saving his sister. 
He’d spend the next few years bouncing around, erasing his traces along the way as he perfected his skills and looked for his sister - using his rage and determination as a driving force. 
Things would come to a halt though, when the news of his brother’s death reached him somehow. Apparently, their father had no problem driving a knife through his son’s heart the first chance he got. Broken and in disbelief, Nik flew back to Houston. 
He laid low for a while, before finally feeling prepared enough to strike down his father. That didn’t go down as well as he’d hoped, considering his Reaper friends got involved - but Nik was content enough with the damage he’d done. This was his first try after all. 
This was a catalyst for the Lycans’ Alpha to reach out to Nik - it seemed that out of the bunch, he was the only one left, and he was borderline insane with rage and hatred he harboured against his father and the Reapers. Which was exactly the kind of thing that was of interest for Alpha. 
He’d spend his late teenage years and early adulthood with the Lycans, being trained as one of their own, rising through the ranks, being subtly groomed by the alpha. He’d meet a girl in those years, a stubborn reporter he would fall madly in love with, and he’d probably tell you those were his ‘happy’ years. 
But his father wasn’t done yet - he eventually had Nik’s girlfriend beaten to a pulp, left do die in a dark, damp alley so that all Nik could do in the end, was say goodbye to her by the hospital bed and then go out to seek his revenge. 
It seriously messed him up, but he also seemed completely unable to rest until he tracked his father down and set fire to the house he was staying in. A cruel way to go, considering he knew of his father’s fear of fire - but Nik was long past caring. 
The rest was history. The Alpha continued to groom him to eventually become his successor but their time would be cut short by an illness that started tormenting the old man. A vote was cast, and though Nik got the majority - he didn’t get all the votes like the Alpha had hoped. Main concern among the deciding betas was Nik’s age - they were of the opinion that he was too young to take on such a responsibility. 
Though slightly reluctant, after the old Alpha abdicated about a year ago - Nik rose to the occasion and took his place as the new Alpha, and has been working out just what kind of leader he’s meant to be for the past year. 
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Survey #243
honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.
What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon?  Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.
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hardyimagines · 6 years
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The Decision — Part 2
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Can I ask for a request? Alfie had to give up the reader because hes facing a powerful and dangerous enemy but he doesnt tell the reader. She ends up dating tommy (who doesn't know about her past with alfie) and on their wedding day Alfie shows up. Idk what happens next lol but I just would love to read about tension and emotions and alfie just like being vulnerable. Thank you 💜💜💜
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Omg so your new Alfie fic is amazing! I've never requested anything before or made a suggestion but I wanted to suggest that maybe (if you want), can you include a part where the main OC does end up getting hurt and she's possibly pregnant (maybe loses it) with Alfies child and he doesnt know but then he finds out?! Whether she gets hurt bc of Tommy or Alfie it's up to you but I'd like to read that
Requested by: @fuckitsharam & @stylingco 
Word count: 6k ||| Status: completed
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Part 1     Part 3    Part 4
It had been 93 days since you had seen Alfie. 93 days since he had broken your heart. 93 days that you spent wishing things had gone different.
It was a Friday evening in late December. The snow outside was falling gradually from the starry night sky. It was so enchanting to watch the white ice coat the grey streets from the inside of your home, eyes glued to the window. Your new beau had gone out to get some wine to enjoy for the night. Christmas was a week away and regardless of the fact that the two of you had only been together for a few months, he insisted that you spend the evenings together, talking endlessly about anything and everything. You pulled the blanket around your shoulders more securely, soaking in every ounce of warmth from the brown fabric. The door opened and a burst of cold air rushed in through the gap, flooding the decorated house with the overly chilly wind. The black haired, blue eyed fellow made his way into your small home. In his hands, he held a bottle of wine, a little wrapped box and a cute ornament to hang on the tree in the corner. You straightened on the sofa at the sight of him before quickly scrambling from your position to help him with the items so that he didn’t drop anything, especially the wine. “Thomas, you’re holding too much.” You warned lightheartedly. Taking the bottle away from the man, you smiled down at the brand before setting it on the table. “I walked all the way here, didn’t I?” A smirk tugged at his lips. “My shirt looks good on you.” Tommy spoke gruffly, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of your head when he brushed past you. His fingers pressed lightly into your hip, studying your body for a few seconds. His shirt fell to your upper thighs, the front unbuttoned slightly. It fit you nicely. Alfie’s fit nicer. You opened the top drawer and drew out the wine opener. Setting the sharp top against the cork, you stuck the sharp end into the center, and twisted the handle. You wouldn’t be having any of the alcohol, but you were more than happy to pour a glass for Thomas. The red liquid flowed from the top and filled the glass up to the rim. You handed the chalice to the man with a soft smile before lowering your hand to your slightly swollen belly. Your thin form meant you were showing earlier than he had typically seen. His sister Ada, and his brother’s wife Esme, hadn’t shown until later on in their pregnancies, but you were glowing magnificently and the rounded tummy was rather visible if you looked hard enough. It resembled a bloated tummy. Tommy stood in the corner of the room. Lighting a cigarette, he took a small sip of the red wine before stepping closer to you as he inhaled the cancerous smoke. This was quite strange to you. Tommy seemed to be more than happy to help you out with the pregnancy, even though it wasn’t his baby that was growing in your belly. This child, in fact, belonged to Alfie Solomons.
You sat down at the table, picking a grape off of the stems in the bowl. Pushing it past your lips, you slumped back against the seat and smiled slowly at the gentleman as he offered to make you some soup. “It’s alright, tommy. I’m not that hungry. Everything I eat, it comes right back up anyway.” The man nodded in understanding before taking another drag of his cigarette and exhaling slowly. He took a seat beside you, fingertips tapping the top of the table lazily. “You still haven’t told me who the father is.” He pointed out, using his pinky to usher to your stomach. You licked your lips, heavy eyes moving to his. “It doesn’t matter who’s it is. You’ll be more of a father to the baby than the actual dad. He doesn’t care.” You shrugged your shoulders lightly. Alfie probably would care, but you didn’t have the guts to go and face him. You’d gone by the distillery 5 times in the last week in hopes to find some sort of courage to tell Alfie the truth, but it never came. “I want to tell him first, Thomas, and then you can know, okay?” The man was still, studying you. “Do you still.. love this other man?” He asked. He wasn’t afraid of your answer. If you said yes than that was okay. If you said no, even better. “I think a part of me will always love him.” You muttered hurtfully. “But a larger part of me hates him.” Your back pressed even firmer into the back of the seat, effectively popping it. You’d never told so many lies in one day. “I have to go to Camden Town tomorrow, my mother needs my help, but I’ll be back in right after that.” Your hand outstretched toward the man, fingers delicately gliding along his smooth cheek. “So you’d better make the most of tonight, Mr. Shelby.” Tommy leaned in to you almost instantly. He’d never felt so weak to a woman before. You hated that you subconsciously compared him and every single one of his actions to Alfie. For example, when he would kiss you, he tasted like smoke and alcohol, whereas Alfie always tasted like a holiday and home. He tasted sweet, like a dessert and he was so addicting. Alfie would’ve lifted you up and off of the chair by now so he could hold you on his sturdy hips. Tommy leaned over you, hand gripping the back of the chair, whilst his other rested on your cheek. Tommy kissed you slowly, passion-filled, yes, but so very slowly. His tongue was rather coy in comparison to Alfie’s feverish one. You weren’t sure which kiss you preferred. A slow and considerably modest kiss or a desperate, needy, love coated kiss. Probably the latter. Anything Alfie related.. you’d always prefer. Tommy finally drew you out of your thoughts when he moved his hand to your waist and pulled you gently up from the seat. He guided you blindly toward the bedroom and suddenly your mind went blank. You couldn’t think of Alfie. Sex was no comparison. It felt good with Tommy, but it was incredible with the bearded man in Camden Town. Perhaps he’d refresh your memory when you went by to tell him you were pregnant tomorrow. Courage or no courage, he deserved to know.
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Alfie was sat in his living room. His blue eyes were as ignited as the flames that roared to life in the fireplace. Alfie slumped back against the sofa and let his head roll back. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. If he focused hard enough, he could slip away from reality and picture you here with him.
“Get off your ass.” Your sharp giggle filled the room. “I know you’ve been at work all day, but can’t you find the energy to come and give me a kiss before you settle down?” Your shoulder pressed against the doorway, eyes latched on to Alfie. Course, you weren’t really there. Alfie’s head rolled to the side and he could vividly see your curls hanging down by your shoulders, arms crossed over your chest as you eyed him seriously. “I’m waiting, Mr. Solomons.” It didn’t take Alfie long before he was on his feet and striding across the carpet toward you. You, a figment of his imagination, felt so real in his brawny arms. He pressed his soft lips to yours happily, eager to feel your mouth move against his own. It had been so long. You lifted your small hands and fisted them in his hair, holding him flush against your frail form, ensuring he couldn’t get away from you, not that he would even attempt to. Alfie Solomons would just have to suffocate, unless you did first, because you weren’t breaking the kiss until one of you were unconscious from the liplock. Alfie hadn’t got a word in. His apology was unheard. His explanation existed only in his mind.
Cyril’s rough bark filled the room, drawing Alfie out of his thoughts. The colossal man stood in the center of the living room now, hands hovering in mid-air where imaginary you had just been standing. “Cyril!” Alfie shouted loudly, instantly silencing the animal who was no doubt riled up because of a bird hovering outside the window. “Lay down.” He ordered the mutt, who instantly obeyed. Cyril let out a soft whine, head resting on his paws as he stared at the door. Alfie, paying no mind to the dog, rubbed down his face and began to pace his living room. The daydream was gone. He was left to ponder reality. To his knowledge, you hadn’t once come to visit him. He didn’t blame you. He knew he should be happy that his plan of hurting you had worked, but he was just filled with guilt. The only woman he had ever loved was— Alfie was pulled from his thoughts again. Assuming it was the dog, he turned sharply on his heel to throw an insult toward the innocent animal before he froze. A loud knock filled the living room again and Alfie’s features hardened. Looking to the ticking clock in the corner, his heavy brows pulled together into a hard stare. Who the hell was coming to his house this late at night? You shivered on the porch, breathing heavily into your palms to warm yourself up. You could hear the bottoms of Alfie’s feet hit the floorboards powerfully with every step he took. The door opened wide and you both stood there in shock. You, surprised and embrassed. He was so handsome, towering over you with a look of surprise. Alfie was wide-eyed and beyond dumbfounded. He eyed you intently, taking in every little detail of your unforgettable face. “Y/N.” He whispered softly. You stood on the porch, staring up at him with unashamed emotion. You let it visibly show how strong your feelings for him still were, but you didn’t act on them. “Could I.. come inside?” You asked the man quietly. There was a quiver in your voice and you weren’t sure if it was caused by the nerves in your belly or the cold that bit angrily at your skin. You were sure it was from both. Alfie’s cheeks turned a dark shade of pink, instantly stepping out of the way so that you could come inside. “Cyril.” He warned as the dog jumped up excitedly. “Alfie.” You warned right back. “Let him say hello.” Frowning at the change in the man, you moved toward the large dog. Leaning over, your small hands traced his brown fur, ruffling it. “Hey, big guy.” You cooed, smiling when he licked at your arms. “Yes, yes, I know, I missed you too.” You giggled softly before kissing his ear and straightening. “Did you come around to see Cyril or was there something else you needed to say?” You gently brushed Cyril off of you before turning to face Alfie with a look of confusion. “What the hell has gotten into you, Alfie? You’ve turned into such an ass.” Staring at the man with pain now dancing around with the love in your gaze, you pulled your coat off of your body.
He didn’t notice your belly. “I’m just curious to know why you’re here.” He grunted before moving past you so he could sit down at the table. You stepped smoothly in front of him, chest skimming his lightly as you looked up at the much taller bloke. “To talk.” You told him softly, small hand pressing lightly to his chest to urge him to stay in place. “What the hell are you doing out so late?” He hissed. “I had errands to run and thought this was the best time to come by and see you. When you’re at work, the guards and Ollie won’t let me through.” Alfie frowned at that. The man looked briefly to your lips and caught sight of a purple bruise on the upper side of your neck. “Well.” He smiled forcefully. “Why come visit me? It looks to me as if you’ve already fucking found someone else, yeah, to spend your time fucking, right?” He pointed to the hickey. “You moved on fast, didn’t you?” He growled, turning away from you again, but you gripped his arm and pulled him back. He could shove you off in an instant. He was so much stronger, but he didn’t budge. He let you tug and pull and set him wherever the hell you wanted to. “Why the hell do you care? I’m not here to discuss my relationships with you, Alfie, I need to tell you something important.” The man looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and if you knew anything about Alfie Solomons, it was that he couldn’t sleep alone. Not without you. “Well fucking spit it out then, pet, I don’t have all fucking night long to stand here. I’ve got things I need to get done, right, because nobody else is going to fucking do them.” You moved your small hand to his arm and squeezed it softly. “Would you just relax?” You sighed heavily. “I haven’t seen you this tense since the day I met you.” Alfie grunted under his breath. “Yeah, well, when you fucking lose someone, you fucking lose yourself sometimes, pet, yeah?” You swallowed quietly. “Look at me, Alfie.” He did. “Why did you end things between us?”
Alfie shook his head slowly before turning away from you and moving toward the sofa. You followed along behind him, fingers burning to touch him. “I deserve to know. You wasted 9 months of my life.” Alfie scoffed as he took a seat. “Wasted is a peculiar fucking word to use, don’t you think, pet. Right, the way I see it, you spent those 9 months—“ you shook your head. “I don’t want a lengthy, confusing explanation, Alfie. I want a straight forward answer. Why did you end things with me? Did you really just use me for sex?” The baker sat back against the cushion and rubbed down his face, exasperated. “You know, better than anyone, that I didnt mean what I said that day.” He whispered. “You were a good fuck, right, but all that messing around in the beginning led to a whole fucking lot more and there’s things you don’t understand. There’s people, bad people, bad fucking people that will use you to get to me.” You weren’t listening that intently. Your ears were ringing as you realized what exactly you’d come here to tell Alfie. “Yeah, well, all that ‘good fucking’ led to today.” You whispered. “I’m pregnant.” Saying the words aloud made them more real and you were overcome with another emotion. You wanted to be excited and happy, relieved to have told the man, but you were scared. Alfie’s beard twitched along with his upper lip and the man slowly directed his gaze to your stomach. “You’re pregnant?” He whispered. You nodded. “And.. it’s my babe?” You nodded again. “I’m three months along.” You whispered before leaning back against the couch. “I didn’t come here to tell you that you need to take responsibility. The guy I’m seeing, he’s treating me real good, says he’ll raise our son— oh, it’s a boy, he says he’ll raise the babe just like it’s his own.”
Alfie squinted at your words. “He’s my kid. I’m the father.” He pointed out matter of factly. “No other man is fucking needed, pet, you’ll move in here and we’ll raise the baby together.” You stared at the man in shock, staring at him as if he had two heads. “Alfie, I didn’t come here to say I want to be together again. I’m happy with the way things are currently. You ended things with me. You hurt me more than I ever thought possible. I don’t want you.” The words spewed from your lips like word vomit. The room grew hotter and your pretty colored orbs filled with tears. Alfie knew you didn’t mean what you said. He could see it so obviously. “You want the other man?” You stared up at him with a broken look. Your head nodded firmly, but your lower lip trembled. Alfie had always been able to read you like a book. “Then why the hell are you here? You could’ve fucking called. You could’ve wrote a fucking note, yeah? You could’ve told Ollie to tell me, right, but you fucking chose to come here, late at night, to my fucking home.” He was moving closer to you and you could feel your ribs tightening, constricting so tightly, it restricted you from getting full gulps of air to your lungs. “Alfie..” You whispered exhaustedly. “You ended things with me. You’re the one that shouldn’t feel anything. I, on the other hand, can feel as passionately as i want to. I can and will act on these feelings if I want to. Seeing you is the most I could do, so here I fucking am. Plus.. did you really want to hear about the existence of your child through a letter? I still love you, that won’t change, but I just came to tell you about the baby.” Your chest was rising and falling visibly with your heavy breaths and Alfie instantly regretted letting you into his home. 96 days apart was all about to come crashing down. Darby Sabini would know who owned Alfie Solomons’ heart. All because he had let you in. He should’ve slammed the door and told you to come to the distillery in the morning. At least people would be around and Alfie wouldn’t be so alone with his thoughts. He could feel your hot breaths harshly hitting his lips and it took every ounce of control the man had not to pin you to the sofa and bury himself inside you like he desperately wanted to do. He wanted to mold your bodies together and become one. Nothing outside of this house mattered. There was only You, Alfie, Cyril, and the baby growing in your stomach.
You were taken aback when the man pressed his cool lips to your hot ones. Every muscle in your body went limp and every bone in your body felt as if it had turned to jello. Your entire form fell forward and into him, unable to form a coherent thought. This is wrong. Your mind tried to scream over the frantic beating of your heart. You’re with Tommy. Alfie hurt you! Why are you letting him do this? He wasn’t hurting you now. You drew your knee up cautiously, on to the sofa, before you slowly wrapped your strong thigh around his hip and crawled into his lap. His large hands were eager as they slid along your body, pinching, tugging, and desperately trying to move your dress out of the way. You halted his shaky movements, savoring, instead, the way his mouth felt against your own. Your lips slanted together perfectly and your body felt as if it was drained of all its energy. The kiss left you as breathless as you would’ve been if he screwed you a hundred times in a row. You didn’t kiss him long, for the honest part of you pulled you made you pull back. “Alfie, I can’t.” You whispered softly to the man. You didn’t move from your position, but you knew this was wrong. This would hurt Thomas and although your heart belonged to Alfie, you couldn’t do that to him. You moved to stand, but found yourself trapped by the arms that wound around you. A shaky exhale escaped your lips, knowing you weren’t going anywhere until Alfie had gone to sleep. “Relax, pet. You’re already fucking here, right, we might as well make the most of it.” The room was silent after he spoke, you pondering his words. “If that was an invite to have sex with you, Alfie, I should punch your smug face.” You began to squirm once more, this time harder than your previous attempt. Alfie’s brows drew together. “No- dammit, be still! I’m just trying to fucking hold you, pet!” You ceased your movements, allowing your pained eyes to meet his. “Why?” Alfie was confused. Why were you hounding him so much. “Do you want me to say it’s because I love you?”
Alfie groaned lightly in slight irritation. This wasn’t the way he wanted to tell you. You folded your arms over your chest. “If you don’t tell me now, I don’t think you’ll get another chance.” You told him truthfully, prying yourself out of his arms so you instead stood between his knees. Cyril was hovering in the doorway, big brown eyes glued to the two of you. One of the red pillows had fallen to the carpet and you had to step over it in order to find your position back on the sofa, beside Alfie. “You know I love you.” He uttered. “But I want you to tell me.” You explained. “What’s the fucking point in doing so? It’s bloody pointless, innit. You’re with someone else now, right, so admitting my feelings to you, yeah, is only going to hurt the fucking both of us.” You sighed gently before slowly moving your small hand to the side of his neck. Your thumb pressed into his jaw, turning his face toward your own as you spoke. “Alfie, the last time I saw you, you told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore because I was complicated, I talk too much, and all I’m good for is sex. Anything you say to me right now is better than that.” You hated how forgiving you were, but this was Alfie. Your Alfie. He had a reason for everything he did. He took in a lengthy gulp of air before letting it out in a heavy sigh. “I said those things to get you away from me, right, it’s too fucking dangerous having you on my arm, pet. I do love you, alright, that’s a bit obvious, innit, right, yeah it is, because I fucking may have hurt you verbally, but that, in its own way, right, was for your own good.” You shifted slowly before moving closer to the man. “Why couldn’t you have just told me then? Do you know how complicated things will be now.” You pressed your small hand to his thigh and rested it there. “The solution is simple.” He whispered softly. “We can’t be together.” Right now. He added as an afterthought. Once Sabini was taken care of, he would have you on his arm. He would have the means to protect you and he wouldn’t let anybody take you away from him. You were having his baby. You swallowed tightly at his words before standing from the sofa. “Right, well, I’d better go.” Alfie gave you a look of confusion. “No, pet, it’d be wise if you stayed.” He stood from the sofa and moved to the window, peering out at the streets. Alfie cut on the porch light to illuminate the air. Snow once again fell from the sky, layering the streets like a blanket. You sighed heavily before slowly sitting back down. Hopefully this cleared up by morning.
Alfie turned the light off outside before moving toward you. “You can sleep in my bed if you want, I don’t mind having the sofa.” He rubbed his ringed fingers together before letting out a slow yawn. He was still wearing his work clothes. “I’m not taking your bed, Alfie. Your back and leg will kill you all day tomorrow if you sleep out here.” Alfie squinted slowly. “Well you’re not sleeping out here, either. I know how you get when the nightmares come around. I was gonna let Cyril sleep with you.” He tempted. You stood. “You’ll do just fine.” Turning on your heel, you set off in the direction of his bedroom. Your heels clicked audibly against the old, wooden steps, fingers trailing along the rail. Alfie was surprised by your words, but didn’t resist the offer. He followed along behind you, boots hitting the floorboards louder than your heels did. He was lost in his thoughts and you were lost in the home. Everything was so similar and yet so different. Making your way down the hallway and toward his bedroom, you turned the silver knob before pushing the creaky door open. His bed was made, pillows fluffed, and floor clean. It looked as if Alfie hadn’t been in here since you’d left. “Why the hell is it so clean in here?”
You cocked a brow before approaching the bed. Lowering yourself down on the loud thing, the springs bent beneath you and you sighed softly. It was such a comfy bed. “I haven’t fucking slept much.” He muttered, moving to the closet. “Alfie.” You rubbed your teeth together. “I’m not meant to feel bad for you, you know, you caused this. You didn’t have to break things off with me.” You reminded him before laying on your side and dragging your knees into your chest. The man’s back was to you, but as he unbuttoned his shirt and rolled the material off of his form, you could see his back muscles, tight and tense. No doubt from what you’d side. He tossed the shirt to you, ignoring what you said, but you gratefully took the material. Bending your arm behind your back, you pulled firmly at the zipper so that the fabric fell open and you could wiggle out of it. It was best to undress simultaneously so that you finished at the same time and neither of you had too much time to ogle the other. Kicking your clothing to the corner, you pulled his shirt over your body and closed the material. Shielding your breasts from him, you slid beneath the duvet and moaned softly at the unfamiliar, yet so familiar, feeling of the comfortable bed. Alfie pulled on a pair of sweats before he climbed in beside you. “Am I meant to hold you or keep my fucking distance?” He whispered softly, reaching his arm up and behind him so he could shut off the light. The room wasn’t completely dark, you could see the outline of the man at your side, so you studied him for a moment. Alfie’s scent was overpoweringly comforting and when he asked again if your silence meant holding you was alright, you rolled toward him. Your much smaller body maneuvered on to the top of his own and he couldn’t find it in himself to keep you tame. Yes, he couldn’t be with you, but enjoying one night of whatever you wanted wouldn’t hurt, would it? You slid one of your arms beneath his neck, fingers tracing his scratchy facial hair as you hovered above him. “I love you too.” You whispered breathily, brushing your lips against his own. The baker spread his knees lightly before moving his hand to your lower back so he could hold you in place on top of him. “I hurt you to keep you away from me, to protect you, Y/N.” He whispered. “Not because I don’t want you.” The mattress moaned as you shifted, bony knees sinking firmly into the bedding. “To protect me, Alfie, I got it, but you should’ve just told me the truth. I could’ve gone away for a while, you didn’t have to hurt my feelings. I still came back. Your plan wasn’t that great.” You pointed out, ushering to your current position.
“I don’t want to talk anymore, okay? I came to tell you about the baby, I’ve told you, so now.. we can just sleep?” It hurt you entirely too much to talk about the fact that you and Alfie couldn’t be together. Alfie folded his arm beneath his head, looking up at you under a watchful eye. He flipped you over in seconds, pinning you firmly beneath his much much bigger form. “Just let me look at you for a little while longer.” You squirmed lightly beneath him to get comfy before you wrapped one of your arms around his back, fingers tracing his spine. You should’ve felt ashamed for being with this man while another was at his home, no doubt thinking of you. Waiting for you. You couldn’t ignore your feeling though, Alfie was who you wanted. But even though he reciprocated those feelings, it wouldn’t work. Tonight was a night to remember. A night to reminisce on old times by jogging your memory. “Just kiss me, Alfie, otherwise I know you’ll hover there for an hour, contemplating it.” You whispered firmly, already guiding his lips to your own. You pushed your legs apart shyly, just to give him a place to rest his weight. He lowered himself gratefully, mouth moving against yours in a familiar dance. Your tongue brushed over his own and his curled around yours, little moans falling from the bear on top of you. Your heart melted at the sounds, ears burning to hear more and more of them. When morning came, Alfie would no longer be yours. You’d get on the boat and head back to Birmingham, but for tonight, you could pretend. Pretending seemed to be all you were good at anymore.
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“Alfie Solomons?” Thomas whispered, legs propped up on his desk. His ankles were folded together on the top of the surface, cigarette dangling dangerously from his pink lips. “That’s her previous ‘beau’?” Polly nodded lightly, more invested in looking at her fingernails rather than directing her gaze to Tommy. “I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. What do you think she really went to Camden Town for, Thomas, to visit her mother or to see the father of her child?” Polly leaned forward, hands pressing firmly into the wood as she stood up. The swivel chair that she had been perched on rotated slightly with her movement. The sound of her heels clicking filled the room, fading as she left. Thomas let his head fall back, inhaling deeply. The smoke that filled his lungs escaped through his nostrils in a cloud, drifting away into the cool air before vanishing. He didn’t really care if you had gone to see Alfie. Alfie seemed incapable of any sort of love. He was entirely too flippant for his own good. No woman would appreciate that, surely. Then again, Tommy had never seen the man around a woman, let alone a woman that he’d knocked up. Discarding his cigarette into the bin, he pulled on his coat and laid his glasses down on the table. Making his way out of the room, he fingered the chain on his chest, completely calm. He had no worries. Yes, he cared for you. Yes, he was sure he would grow to love you. He wasn’t the type to get angry and throttle a man though, especially not Alfie. He’d just wait until you returned home and see what you had to say about the whole situation. He’d find out where your feelings lied.
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You felt a little guilt that night when you laid in Alfie’s arms, your naked body pressed against his. You hadn’t regretted the sex, but you hadn’t gone to see him for it either. You weren’t sure why you’d even initiated it. One minute, you’re standing in Alfie’s living room, telling him that he can’t just use you for your body— even though he never would, then the next, you’re dragging him on top of you and begging him to make love to you. You weren’t sure why you did it, aside from the fact that the man owned your heart. You liked tommy, a lot, but the love you felt for Alfie wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. The deliciously dull ache between your legs was a firm reminder of what had happened a few nights ago. It would’ve faded by now if Alfie would’ve been his usual gentle self with you, but you’d been begging entirely too much for the man to be anything but easy with you. You could still feel his hot skin as it rubbed against your own, his harsh grunts filling your ear with every buck of his hips. You were sure you’d left indents in his skin from how tightly you were gripping on to his back. “Oh, Alfie.. please.” You’d whispered for the third time. His breaths were hot and heavy, hard pants as he groaned out in response. “Please what, pet? I’m not a fucking mind reader.” You could hear the amusement dancing in his words as he continued to rock on top of you. You placed your hands on his cheeks and stared up at him with a giggle that faded into a moan. “Harder, I want you to move harder.” Your nails sunk more firmly into the skin of his back, but you forced your hand flat against him when you saw him wince lightly. “I don’t want to fucking hurt you, right, you silly girl.” You wanted to relish in the feeling of having him inside you and when you were back in Birmingham, you wanted to remember exactly how this felt. “I want to remember this.. Alfie, please, I’ll be alright.” Your dainty fingers lifted to the side of his head, stroking his hair back and behind his ear. “What about the baby, yeah?” He whispered under his breath. “It won’t fucking hurt him, will it?” Your stomach flipped, heart warming instantly at his words. “Honey, he’ll be okay. He’s protected.” You assured him, pressing a soft kiss to his warm lips. Alfie was slightly reluctant, but the man finally obliged, after your reassurance settled within him. Dragging his hips back before he firmly pushed himself into you, his movements sent your eyes on an uncontrollable roll, lips re-locking with his own.
Climbing the steps to your home, you pushed the door open and hung your bag by the door, coat following. A breathy sigh escaped your lips before you looked around the room. All alone, again. You dropped down on the sofa and exhaled shakily. You would tell Tommy the truth. Eventually. For now, you wanted to think over the events from the last few days. You and Alfie had established only one thing; you were having a child. You didn’t know where you stood with him, still. According to him, things were too complicated and dangerous for you to be around him, so that morning when you left, you’d told him goodbye and had left without so much as hugging him. It would only make it harder. This was the parting you needed. You didn’t want him to hurt your feelings and beat you down. You wanted him to be honest with you. Tell you that he loved you and maybe one day you’d find your way back to each other. You shut your eyes and rubbed down your face. You needed to let him go. His life would always be dangerous, there was no room for you, and especially no room for a baby. Thomas would be your new focus. You would give your heart to him.
Part 1      Part 3     Part 4
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Tagged: @thatsamegirl @peakyhoegh @ihclipse @callisen @hardygal69 @centerhabit @favouritereadings @goodiesintheclosetlove @buckypetal15
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So I decided I’m gonna keep the baby in this I think? I haven’t done Dad Alfie yet and I want to mess around with it so I can see if ( eventually ) Alfie should be a Dad in ‘The Baker’. I know I haven’t updated that in a while!!! ( what’s wrong with me ahaha ) I’ll get on it ASAP!❤️ I’m in such a writing mood.
COMPLETED
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sweetnestor · 6 years
Text
12 Days | Chapter 8.2
Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.
***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience
lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa
previous
“I want to ask what the origin story behind this is, but I think I’m better off not knowing,” Tom typed. He attached a “selfie” wearing a bright blue shirt with the word “Wowie” printed on it in a strange fashion. Then, he sent the whole thing to Ethan.
He did see the other texts from the boy that he received the evening before, but Tom was dying to show this to him now. He finally had a look at what Ethan’s “merch” was like. To say he was not expecting “wowie” on a t-shirt was an understatement. Why “wowie”?
Halfway through editing this video, Tom kind of despised Ethan… and he definitely hated the word “Wowie” with a burning passion. It wasn’t all bad, though. Tom had spent the day with a funny pair of people: Parker and Andrew. He didn’t have to consciously act like Ethan to get along with the pair. They were so graciously weird that seeing their friend act out of character was considered normal for them… if that made any sense. The three of them, along with Amy, made a video together that was about this awful blue t-shirt. A promotional video, and instead of having a whole filming crew complete with camera men and editors, it was all self made. It was impressive, don’t get him wrong, but Tom only thrived when he was on camera, not behind the scenes.
It was a minute and a half long video, yet it was taking ages for him to put it all together. Not to mention, Tom was awaiting an update from Ethan about Zendaya. Earlier, he had said that she wanted to talk, and god knows what that was supposed to mean. On top of that, Bella was getting a little harder to handle.
Tom had invited her to come along to shoot the video, but she had gotten immensely sheepish and timid when she heard about the people who would be joining them. She made an excuse about having emails to answer and business Skype meetings to have. She only returned to his apartment after hearing that Parker, Andrew, and Amy had left for the day, and even then she just stayed in the living room while Tom finished the video. Weird, but whatever.
A few hours later, Tom could say he was proud of what he had created. The video was very sarcastic, and kind of funny, but it got the message across: “Buy this ugly ass shirt.” Really, he didn’t see the appeal, but Ethan’s fans sure did. The shirt had been on sale on Ethan’s merch store all month, and as of today, there were only ten days left to buy it. Tom learned all of this through Parker, who had a hand in running the store. Thank god he wasn’t left in completely in the dark.
Thing is, Tom easily learned about different aspects of this kid’s life. He knew the girlfriend, a good amount of the friends, and just enough about his personality to get by. The hard part was the YouTube stuff, because everyone around him assumed that he knew what he was doing. They all assumed he was Ethan. How bizarre would it be if Ethan just suddenly asked for help on the basics of editing a simple video? How long would it be for someone to figure that this wasn’t Ethan, that it was somebody else? What would they do, besides throw him in an asylum?
A knock on the bedroom door snapped Tom out of his thoughts. He pulled off his headphones and granted access.
Bella came in, an unreadable expression on her face. “Hey…”
“Hi, love,” Tom greeted, turning in his chair to face her.
She stepped in, looking around the room as she tangled her fingers together. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, I’m just…” She sighed. “This is really stupid, like really stupid…”
“Oh, how bad could it be?” he asked, putting on a kind smile, despite how nervous the sudden tension made him.
Bella picked at her nails to fill the silence. But she finally asked in a soft voice, “why didn’t you ask me to be in your video?”
Honestly, Tom had been hoping she had that conversation with her real boyfriend. Even he found it weird that the “talking to women” bit from the video starred Amy. Why not Bella? It probably wasn’t something to fuss about, but the girl’s nerves radiated for miles, it made Tom himself feel like he had done something wrong. He didn’t even know how to respond.
“I mean, you and Parker came up with the video idea like what? Two weeks ago,” she rambled, “and you guys came up with the ‘talking to girls’ thing and your first thought was Amy? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I-I mean she did come up with the shirt design…”
Ah, so that was the culprit.
“I-It’s not that I wanted to slap you - uh, fake slap you for a video,” Bella went on, her voice getting shaky, “i-it’s just you didn’t think to ask me, I don’t know. Am I freaking out over nothing?”
“You freak out over everything,” Tom said without thinking. There was a small pause before he turned back to the computer.
“I know, it’s what I do,” Bella said, not seeming offended by that statement. “It probably wasn’t a big deal. I shouldn’t have bothered you, sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Any other thoughts, concerns?” It was half sarcastic, but she took the bait.
“I’ve been… having dreams…”
Ethan was supposed to know that tone, what that particular phrase meant. Tom, on the other hand, was clueless.
“Naughty dreams?”
“No.” Bella’s tone was serious now. She paced around the small recording space, still picking at her nails. “Bad dreams. I’ve had dreams like this before… Ethan, please don’t make me say it.”
It had been five days since the switch, five days of being this girl’s boyfriend, and Tom was getting more and more impatient.
“Don’t talk about it then,” he said with a shrug. “If it’s really that scary, or disturbing, or whatever it is... then you don’t need to speak of it.”
Again, it was silent. Tom definitely said the wrong thing, but he didn’t know how to handle a girl with anxiety. He could barely handle Zendaya, even though he hoped to fix things with her.
“You’re probably right,” Bella spoke at last. She turned on her heel towards the door. “No one wants to remember that time, especially me.” She stopped at the doorway and looked back at him. “Oh, and I just figured out why I was freaking out over Amy. It’s been almost a year since Mark left me for her.”
Whoa. What would Ethan say to that? What would Ethan think about his girlfriend mentioning her ex?
Speaking of the ex, Tom’s phone dinged on his desk. Mark had texted him. Admittedly, Tom wasn’t really texting anyone consistently apart from Ethan. He had also ignored Mark’s texts from the other day, so there was a chance he wasn’t on good terms with the boss.
“Hey look man, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but I need an answer. Are you going to be returning to work anytime soon? Or do we need to make a public statement that you don’t work for me anymore? I’m not trying to put pressure on you, or anything with malice. I just need to know what’s going on business wise.”
Public statement? So the fans knew Mark had editors? And there had to be something said publicly when something changed behind the scenes? Is that how YouTube works?
“I think my girlfriend is hung up on you, you’re the last person I need to see right now,” Tom typed for literally no other reason except to see if it sounded like something his other half would say. He chuckled to himself after deeming that it was too ridiculous and out of line and went to delete it…
You know when you mean to do one thing but instead do another? Yeah, Tom somehow mixed up the ‘send’ key and the ‘backspace’ key, and well…
“Fuck!” he snapped, sitting up in his chair, watching as the angry text sent. “No, no, no, no! Shit!”
Oh god, Ethan was so fired.
~
Tom didn’t have the heart to tell Ethan about the wonderful conversation he had with Mark following that text. He read through the messages he received while he was editing over and over again just to avoid telling him what went down. Ethan seemed excited to be in Montreal.
“So guess I have a workout tomorrow morning? Wish me luck bc I’ll actually die.” That’ll be fun to hear about, but it didn’t settle the knot in Tom’s stomach.
“I’m almost ok with the switch if it means getting to stay in this house dude it’s so nice?? I’m never leaving.” Tom was not okay with the switch. He wanted to be in that house right now, leave Ethan with the mess that he made.
“I finished the wowie video. I hate the word wowie. Please never say it again,” he typed and sent before reading the rest of the texts. He noticed that Ethan will either be completely silent, or send multiple texts at once. No in between.
“Also,,,,, fuck kinda friendship you got with Harrison? You give each other lap dances???” Ethan asked. Oh no. Oh god. “Not judging, just wish I’d known you were rejecting zendaya for ur best m8 lolol.”
Tom literally groaned out loud and palmed his forehead. Then, he frantically sent, “IT WASNOTHING WE DONT SPEAK OF IT SHUT UP.” No way he was getting into that with this guy. He wouldn’t understand.
The next message didn’t help very much. “Speaking of Daya, we talked today. She asked abot how you feel and what you thought you 2 had going on. Made it clear it was her choice what happened, but that you’re just friends? Idk man how DO you feel?”
“Anyway, the videos were good. Much better than Tyler’s first edits for sure. Good job, I’m impressed.”
“Shooting starts tomorrow so I’m off to learn everything there is to know about acting…….. By watching some movie wiht the guys, gn.”
Tom sat there for a few minutes, trying to word any of the thoughts in his head. Why couldn’t have Ethan made the Zendaya decision for him? He seems like a nice guy, he’s had a girlfriend for six months, and she didn’t seem tired of him!
“I’ll deal with her when we switch back… by the way when are we gonna switch back??? Anyway, have a good night mate, have a pint for me!”
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tag list: @beardedsteveslut @marie-is-in-the-dark @ohsnapitzmoony
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