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#if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning
coloursofaparadox
·
11 months
Text
im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit
#i think the problem now is that historically my sleep habits have been Really Messed Up by what can loosely be called insomnia my whole life
#its always kinda just been a given that if im in bed and i cant sleep there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help
#and thats not for lack of trying i have tried every meditation and suggested solution possible. it does not happen.
#if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning
#thats not an exaggeration it happened often before i gave up on it. so i figured out coping methods!
#namely 1) making sure my body is taken care of as well as possible to make sure its not caused by pain or hunger or anxiety
#and 2) not trying to force it and accepting itll happen when it happens. and then reading a book or watching a show on a dim screen
#until i physically cant keep my eyes open and then i can fall asleep. if i try any earlier than that no dice. my brain wakes itself up again
#these worked for years! but now thanks to adhd meds that actually make my brain quiet. uh. these same coping methods are. not working
#im physically tired and start my usual routine and wait to pass out while reading but i just. dont. ever.
#like. the physically tired feeling has never made a difference in my body cooperating with sleep. but now apparently it will????
#and ive been ignoring it??? bc im used to it not working? i tried just. closing my eyes and trying to lay still yesterday and it WORKED
#after like. 10 minutes or so. it was fucking crazy. i thought media and pop culture was lying about people doing that.
#anyways. apparently i can fall asleep like a human and not some kind of weird chronically exhausted cryptid now.
#(because of new adhd meds to be clear) but i havent been because i didnt even think to TRY it. since. yknow. cryptid status.
#shits weird.
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