#if i do survive i feel like itll just be soulless and empty and ill have maybe one person to really depend on

[mourn2]

feeling sooo so so so sooooo NORMAL today

#life is passing me by im rotting and making choices that will only harm me in the future etc etc #soon secondary school will be over and then every new experience i have will be felt almost completely alone #whats the point? what ambitions do i have that keep me going? i keep thinking about what itll be like when im 30 or 40 but i cant even #imagine myself growing that old #if i do survive i feel like itll just be soulless and empty and ill have maybe one person to really depend on #its just me coming home every day from lidl or mcdonalds or whatever and taking out my microwave ready meal and silently eating it while #i watch a show i have no investment in #id relish the peace and lack of unhinged screaming but itd be so fucking lonely #and like yeah its pathetic that im planning (if that) for a life of isolation because life is about the connections you make with others #but im deeply sad and i dont owe anybody anything so fuck you........