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jubilantwriter · 4 years

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Heart Shaped like Sea Glass

(First Part) (Previous Part) (Next)

Part 4 - Distinctions Made to be Forgotten

Summary: Daniel has to remind himself constantly where he stands in this strange relationship he’s found himself in, less he forgets who they truly are and questions the choices he’s made.

im just. really living for this au. wowzers. this is probably the most prolific i’ve been for a story. anyway i hope you enjoyed that goofy fic last time because that’s gonna be the only nice, fun treat y’all be getting for a while

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Humans are strange creatures. They experience loss, succumb to their desires, and die in various ways that may or may not feed him. They have a strange relationship with the ocean, some hating it, some loving it. Daniel isn't very envious of them - they live such short lives, after all, and they make for filling meals that can last him for days.

So of course he doesn't know much about them. After all, they're all food to him. But this human, the one he feeds every day now, is stranger than most he encounters.

The man doesn't protest much when Daniel barges into his home (to which the human tells him is called a "shack"), and he shares his meals with Daniel without a word (after Daniel takes the time to catch him the fish of the day, of course). He has never met a human more willing and more aware of the fact that he is, in fact, Daniel's next meal.

The more he provides for the human’s meals, the more he finds himself… feeling this strange tightness in his chest. It's not that it's off-putting, he thinks. No no, it must be that... it's too easy. Yes, that must be it.

It's too easy, sharing meals with this human, sharing conversation, and having the human accept his presence as though Daniel were nothing more than a-

Hm. Well, there's no fun in a meal that is too easy to hunt.

(He tells himself this over and over. It is the only reason, correct? Why he feels this unease, this unnerving feeling when the human's eyes still continue to look dull, like the broken shards he sometimes finds washed up in the sand, before the ocean carries away the debris from shipwrecks past and present.)

That's why he should be ecstatic when the human refuses to eat one day. He should be ecstatic, the human is being more impossible than usual, and that should make things exciting, right?

...Right?

"Human." He shakes the human's shoulder again, trying to rouse him out of his fake sleep. "Get up."

The human makes no sound, instead pulling the thin, worn cloth over his body some more and refusing to show his face. Daniel growls, frustrated because- well, it's because his prey is trying to starve himself! And starved prey never tastes good. Prey flavored with a proper diet taste the best, and they taste even better when they feel that rush of happiness, of pleasure, of joy, and all those positive emotions that make them taste so much like a sublime fillet of the most richest tasting salmon, or of that meaty, hearty taste of tuna. And all his efforts will be for naught if this human refuses to eat.

"You need to eat." Half a day has passed, and the human still refuses to answer Daniel. He curses himself, shaking the human more roughly as he remembers noticing the distant look in the human's eyes, how he gave Daniel more and more of his cooked fishes, how he grew more quiet, talked less, responded less, looked at Daniel less-

He doesn't know humans. He can't read the signs. But he chest squeezes and his face heats up as he realizes belatedly that he should have noticed. That probably wasn't normal human behavior, right? Oh but he doesn't know, he doesn't know! And now this human won't get up and eat, won't acknowledge him, won't speak to him-

The stench of rot almost makes him gag as he stumbles back from the human.

He's getting worse.

And Daniel doesn't know what to do.

He runs his talons through his hair, pacing around the human's abode as he thinks, and thinks, and thinks-

His song.

If. If he can't get the human to eat normally then-

Well. This is how he was always meant to hunt, right? He's a predator. Predators hunt. They kill. They lure and trap and chase after their prey and refuse to let up. Predators don't care for their prey as though they're little chicks in need of hand-holding, nor do predators feel... emotions when they see their prey struggling.

(Predators don't pace and fret and worry over their prey. Predators don't try to make them feel better. Predators find the weakest one, the sickest one, the most injured, the weakest, the youngest- and they strike without remorse. Because food. Is food.

Food. Is. Food.)

Daniel clears his throat. It's been a while since he's sung. He inhales deeply of the human's scent, ignores the rotting, and focuses on that deep-seated desire of his.

It smells like the ache of sprouts stuck under the shade of trees, unable to grow to their fullest potential. It smells a bit like bittersweet citrus, of fruits that bite at the tongue despite how desired they are. It smells like the trees on the mountains he's flown over every winter, the scent strong and overpowering and inescapable if he chooses to fly lower to the treeline.

They weave together into a song as his feathers fluff up, and an ancient power quietly fills his chest up as easily as a single breath of air.

"Cherished beloved, come lay in my arms. I swear to you, there'll be no charms. No more visions of death and harm. Come to me, and together we'll rest. From here on out, I promise the best."

The human jolts in his bed before sitting upright quickly. He turns to look at Daniel with eyes clouded over, (eyes wide and hurt and broken and pained and the stench strengthens and makes him gag) and he utters a soft, "Davey?"

The name of his lost love. He has no idea how he looks to the human, but he can see the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes as his breathing staggers and he stumbles out of his nest. Daniel opens his arms in a welcoming manner as he backs out of the shack. A broken sob escapes the human as he struggles to his feet.

"No- don't, don't go! It's dangerous, please, come back, I-"

Dangerous? Daniel quickly stops his train of thought as he continues to sing. "Follow me, my sweetest heart, and together at last, we'll make a new start."

"Davey!" The human lurches forward and tries to grab Daniel, but he quickly leaps back and puts more distance between them. The sand sifts between his toes as the wind begins to pick up. Idly, he realizes that a storm is on its way. The human flinches as a gust of wind hits him, and he stares wild-eyed and desperate as he reaches for Daniel. "Davey, Davey, come back please, I'll protect you- please, come back here, I don't need anything else, I don't want anything else, so please, please-!"

Daniel keeps stepping back, and the waves crash against the back of his legs as the human freezes in place.

(He's used to the ocean's angry whispers by now. That's what he tells himself, as the waves threaten to pull back further and further until they crash over him like a tidal wave. Except- except, there's something else in the whispers now too. A bitterness that he doesn't expect. A bitterness that borders on... dismay?)

"...Don't." The whispered word leaves the human like a strangled gasp. He reaches for Daniel again as his eyes widen in a vision that Daniel can't see. "Don't go in."

In? Daniel looks behind him. The ocean is agitated, true, but it won't be for a few more minutes before the waves grow tall enough to sweep and pull him away from the beach. A wave crashes over his feet, pulling the sand out from under him as he adjusts his position to stay upright. But the movement is enough to elicit a scream from the human, and before he knows it, hands are grabbing his arm and he's being yanked forward and into something warm.

When did the human-!

They both stumble as the human falls backwards onto his ass, Daniel's face pressed flush against his chest as he braces himself with his hands on the wet sand. Daniel barely has a moment to lift his face away from the human when the brunette’s hands bury themselves in Daniel's hair and clothes. He's pressed tight and flush against the human as warm tears splash against his shoulder.

This... feels familiar.

"Don't go in," the human whimpers out, "the forest is dangerous."

Forest?

The human keeps Daniel in his protective grip, nearly folding the siren into his arms as he curls over the blonde. "Please, I can't lose you again...!"

Rain begins to pour heavily from the heavens. Daniel looks down to where his talons can easily dig into the human's back. How he can sink his fangs into the human's neck and rip out a chunk of flesh that would leave the human's voice garbled and choking.

Daniel is a predator.

He is a predator.

And predators hunt the weakest of the group.

His mouth draws closer to the human's neck as the rain makes their bodies slick with moisture. The human clings to him tighter, exposing the junction between neck and shoulder to Daniel at a laughably tempting angle.

All he has to do is bite down.

That's all it takes to end his prey's life.

(...That's all it takes to end it all.)

"I love you," the human breathes against his shoulder, "I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again." The human's arm slides up the space between Daniel's wings and presses Daniel's head closer to his shoulder. "I swear it. I'll protect you this time."

Rain continues to pour around them. It soaks them to their core, the water sliding off his wings as they continue to sit on the rain soaked beach. Neither of them move as Daniel slowly brings his hands up to the human's shoulders. He doesn't push away, nor does he pull closer. Instead, his voice keeps up the illusion, despite the loss of that melodic beat he's been clinging to for his songs.

"...Let's get inside."

"...Okay."

Slowly, they untangle, but the human keeps a firm grip on Daniel's wrist as he leads them back into the shack. Once inside, the human leads him towards the fireplace and sits him down in front of it. A fire is started as the human wanders off, only to return with a single, thick fabric. Quietly, he uses it to dry Daniel's hair before draping it over his shoulders.

The brunette doesn't get one for himself.

Neither of them speak for a moment as the human sits down next to him.

Neither of them move as the fire continues to fill the silence between with crackles and pops.

And neither of them acknowledge the lack of haze in the human's eyes.

Instead, they drown in the silence of their voices, the thought of food forgotten.

(The stench of rot fills the air, and he ignores the clenching in his chest as the human hunches forward. He looks up towards the roof of the shack. Rain drips through a sizable crack.

A leak.

He focuses on the plip of the rain dripping through the crack.

And ignores the plip of the salty tears dripping loudly onto the floor.

It's the least he can do after what he's managed to do.

...It's the least he can do after what he's failed to do.)

#camp camp #cc daniel #cc jasper #siren au #drabble #mood whiplash is what im good at #daniel is constantly lying to himself its amazing #he doesn't know how to tell himself the truth #what a guy #jasper to daniel #what even are we #daniel to jasper #gestures expressively but in a meaningless way

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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Cause im a slut for aus, in an Anastasia au do you think Saeyoung and Vanderwood would be the con artists, or do you think Saeyoung and Saeran would be in Anastasias place? Or somewhere else? Or Saeyoung and Judas could be the con artists and Minji could be Anastasia, but then I don't know where Saeran and Lila would fit in. Though maybe Saeyoung could be Dimitri AND "the" lost child, and he only starts to remember while teaching the fake. And then remembers his twin? What are your thoughts?

Actually, I’m a slut for this too so I had all night to think about this because I saw it right before I went to bed and I think that I managed to put together something that I think will be unique but still consistent to the original story just in a way to fit in all of these dumb kids. I did like your initial takes on it and it would be kind of hilarious to think that Saeyoung is helping someone and then he gets hit with a “Wait, no, it can’t be me!”

I thought it would be interesting to change things up a bit from my usual form of thinking when it comes to transitioning AUs over. I’m thinkin' that Saeyoung and Saeran would be the ones to take Anastasia’s place because the theme of those boys always being separated just comes fast and hard no matter what you do for it. Alright, the boys come from the royal family and all was well as they began to grow up bit by bit.

That was, until, the family’s healer and advisor, Rika, was not given something she wanted and they turned against her, casting her aside. She was only around as they assumed she had healed the sickly Saeran but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. So, in her fit of revenge, she comes back to destroy all of them for what they had done to herself. The castle is under siege and everyone is in harm's way.

Saeran, having been mostly sickly as a child and unable to go out often, realized as he and his brother were trying to escape that he had forgotten a gift that he had received, the music box, of course. There’s no time but Saeyoung can’t tell him no, so they go back. The castle is quickly made worse and worse by the second and by the time they recover the item, there’s worse things than Rika to worry about, angry civilians too.

The boys are fortunate when a servant girl steps in and shows them one of the hidden passageways. The two manage to get out of that place thanks to her but they are ultimately separated during the chaos and Saeyoung is on the way to safety while Saeran is left lying in the dirt, cursed with amnesia from the blow to the head.

That’s right, this AU means that Lila is Dimitri and Judas is Vlad, it seems rather fitting, wouldn’t you say? Vlad was, after all, a nobleman turned con-artist and an AU where he and Lila are partners in making chaos just needs to happen for me, okay?

Now, Ray is left alone for years trying to move on from the past that he did not know and where the hell he came from. He can’t remember a thing, all he knows is the message on the necklace that he was found with. He finds himself taking the wrong path after a dog seemingly tells him that he needs to go another way instead of to the job given to him. So, he does, and he finds himself in the big city wandering the streets with no way to travel to where he needs to go except for a hint from a shady dealer about two partners who can give him a pass.

He finds himself wandering the castle and weird memories springing up in the back of his head. He doesn’t understand them but he knows that they feel kind of important. When Ray thinks that he may know what they are, he’s interrupted by Lila, dejected by the failed auditions that they were going to use to get rich quick. She and Ray have a bit of a back and forth, but she’s smooth and sweet in a way that feels acquired after years of putting up a front. She easily overwhelms him and his face feels hot as she inspects him closely.

Judas appears, and the two of them comment on how Ray looks a lot like the lost prince, Saeran. “Same facial structure, same lips!” Judas comments with a warm tone. So, with a lot of reluctance, Saeran decides to go with them because it feels like he should. He learns fast that Lila knows a lot more than she’s letting on and Judas does too. As they head for Paris, he’s put through the ropes to learn about the royal family and about Saeran.

He gets to hear story after story from Judas about how he has had flings with the prince looking for his brother, Saeyoung, often. He insists that Ray has to be the lost prince, as he’s known that face anywhere! He’s a little too touchy-feely for Ray’s taste. Lila tends to stop him if he paws at Ray too much. But, her attitude is just as strange. She’s kind to everyone they come into contact to but a lot of that has to be a con-artist front, right?

They keep having these chance moments when they're talking to each other where it feels like there’s some kind of connection there he can’t quite put his fingers on. She’s prone to teasing him and making him work hard to learn the person he’s supposed to be. This little traveling mission is going to take some time so there’s a lot of this going on.

Rika is after them, though. She promised to end the family and the boys are still in her way. So, there’s that to deal with as well. There are numerous close calls along the way but they manage to make it to Paris after a few weeks where they find themselves with someone close to Saeyoung, as Judas knows the prince’s partner. Much to Lila and Ray’s surprise, of course.

It seems he’s been having a fling with more than just Saeyoung... Nobody comments on that, but there’s no denying that there’s something going on with them. It seems like, through Minji and Judas, they may be able to pull this off yet for sure. Saeyoung, however, has dealt with many fakes in the past and finds himself closed off to another chance. Minji really thinks Ray is the one so she decides that she’ll help them in spite of how closed off Saeyoung has become to this.

Lila realizes that Ray answered question after question about things that she and Judas had never prompted. She understands that Ray really is the prince and the boy that she hopelessly had a crush on as a child... who she knew she would never have a chance with as the spoiled and kept away royal that he was compared to the others in the family. She doesn’t say anything more but it is clear that she had to really see this through now.

For Ray.

So, they try. Minji and Judas take Ray out to get him ready. It seems like things might work out for the best. Lila can’t deny that Ray doesn’t look the part after Judas is done with him. The two of them have gotten very close throughout this process and there’s obvious... tension until the last moment. Lila stops before they kiss when she spots Saeyoung. She tells Ray to wait there and goes to see him first.

Lila tries to slip in to have a word with Saeyoung. Saeyoung knows who she is and what she has been doing in their home country, how she’s been training fakes for cash to get money quick. Lila knows she’s in the wrong for that, but when you’ve been a servant and a beggar, you do what you have to do. She insists up and down that he has to believe her but Saeyoung pointedly refuses. His brother is... gone, and he wants to move on.

It would have been okay but Ray overheard everything and is upset about what Lila did. She never mentioned money. It hurts him a lot. He thought that she and he were... he stops at that thought and abruptly leaves after telling Lila that he can’t do this anymore. Lila is dejected but knows very well what she did and that she deserved that.

Well, after a quick pep talk from Judas, she decides that she can’t just let Ray leave without seeing Saeyoung. She and Judas manage to subdue him and bring him to Ray. Judas manages to calm the situation since, to Lila’s surprise, they were having a fling. Lila is firm about this and Judas agrees, leaving Saeyoung no choice but to agree with this. They arrive at Minji’s place and she lets them know that Ray is there.

Saeyoung goes in and he and his brother finally reunite. There is no denying their connection after al of that. Their family is finally back together and nothing is going to do that ever again. Lila quietly slips out after that as the boys are happy again and taken care of with Judas and Minji, and Ray and Saeyoung get ready to reveal that he’s been located.

Well, it seems like everything should be well but it isn’t. Ray just doesn’t feel right without Lila around. He missed his brother and he didn’t want to lose him but at the same time, he couldn’t lose her, either. She’s very well on her way out of that place at this point, already having refused the money from Minji and the prince, despite the fact that they both realized who she was. The servant girl that had helped both of the boys escape that night.

Saeyoung realizes Ray’s feelings when he is pacing back and forth at the gala, nervous energy ablaze. The two of them talk about it and Ray is surprised to learn what she did, and it’s that point that he and Saeyoung share a look and his brother steps aside, “Go, go and get her, okay?”

Ray rushes off to go and find Lila, but he finds himself lost in the gardens with Rika’s voice haunting him. She confronts him and you know how this goes, it is a struggle for life and death until the last minute. Ray trying to protect himself but ultimately inching closer and closer to danger. He thinks that he’s going to die after the bridge he’s on starts to collapse but low and behold, he’s saved at the last second by Lila.

Rika made quick work of her, leaving the girl unconscious and unable to do anything. Ray decides enough is enough, and he manages to get his hands on the item that is keeping Rika alive, destroying it for good and leaving her to rot and turn to dust. Lila was only knocked out, not dead, much to his relief and they have a great reunion and express their feelings. It finally seems like their story has come full circle.

It’s likely that they spend some time together away from the poly trio that’s been put back together, but ultimately, they will return back to Paris after a short time for just the both of them.

#anastasia au #ask #anon #mystic messenger #oc #mystic messenger cmc #mysme cmc #cmc #saeran x lila #poly trio #judas mc2 #minji cho oc #lila lancelot oc #saeran choi #saeyoung choi

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madam-legba · 5 years

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{bispeccare in bello non licet - WIP}

(Im posting this here as a follow up to my help request; if you’re interested do reach out! I’m looking for someone who can help me edit/correct my English as it is most definitely NOT my native language)

PROLOGUE

I. The escape

Another flash of light broke the darkness of the stormy night, another wave hit with utter force the rocks where the damp building sat. Tiny drops of salty water spread in the air.

The halls of each story of the building resounded with howls of desperation and madness; some cries were distinctly aimed to relatives — usually a mother, asking her how could she ever let something like that happen to her own flesh and blood, many others were mere begs for mercy.

Merlin’s name was a recurrent plea, too, but nor him nor the Dementors had ears to listen to those delusional cries.

The overall noise of the voices, mixed with the rumbles of thunders and the constant lapping of the North Sea, sounded like the worst cacophonous orchestra that ever played on Earth.

That never ending lento, that never stopped at all, forced the prisoners mind to slow dance to their madness; each mind danced alone, yet dreading for someone to save them.

Therefore, sleeping wasn’t a possibility.

With all the chaos that inhabited Azkaban, only a deaf witch or wizard would have ever been capable of a good night of sleep.

Restless were the cries, restless were the guards, restless were the prisoners.

Sleep deprivation added up to the list of reasons why whoever stepped into that living hell of a prison would soon lose their minds.

Furthermore, each cell was built so that only a weak strand of light could pass through the cramped rectangular window where, rarely, a bird would sit. The lack of an understandable difference between daytime and nighttime made it so easy to lose track of time.

A day felt like a year, a month felt like an hour; the constant darkness made it hard to eat, as the prisoners’ body were tricked into believing it was always nighttime. Yet, an enchantment prevented the prisoners from dying of starvation.

Torture was most definitely not legal nor tolerated, especially if it was by the hands of the Minister of Magic, but it could easily be masked as aid.

An excuse at saving prisoners from certain death was nothing but another way of punishing the inhabitants of Azkaban.

If it wasn’t for some kind jailer, no wizard could have said exactly for how long they’ve been chained to that miserable, rotting spot of a penitentiary. Not that it really mattered, as most of those who were imprisoned would never again get to see the light of the day as free citizens.

They were bound to rot in that hell of a place, abandoned by their families, beliefs and minds. Abandoned by a community that was supposed to educate them.

Alone.

The flashes of light - lightning of a never-ending storm - were the only quivering lamps of each cell.

At the highest floor of that boundless slimy hell that Azkaban was, a witch sat huddled up in a corner of her room.

Her hair was a messy curly ball around her head, some wild locks were hanging free from the main skein that was now harsher than ever, due to the salty drops of water that clogged the air.

Her face was so gaunt, her black tired eyes were popping out of their orbits, seemingly bigger and rounder than what they truly were. Her pale, white skin was opaque as if blood didn’t run at all below the level of that pearl-like white skin.

Her prisoner attire, that once fit her so well was now redundant on her small frame.

She was gazing at her left arm with a clinical attention, a vein pulsed in the middle of her forehead as a clear sign of her concentration.

The mark on her arm had considerably faded since the day her Lord had somehow been harmed and debilitated by the facts of Godric’s Hollow but, nevertheless, it was there.

She knew it meant he was still alive, he had explained to her –– only her, of course, her most faithful follower and pupil –– exactly how that kind of magic worked: as long as the wizard who casted the spell was alive, so was the mark. Whereas, if the warlock who casted the spell died, the mark would have been imprinted on the markeds’ skin as a scar.

The witch studied her mark with utter care, incredulously eying every detail, every turn of the snake, every shadow. It looked like that mark was the only thing able to keep her madness at bay given how silently and composedly she gazed at the magic tattoo.

Then, with a barely audible whisper, filled with hope and madness, she broke her unusual silence.

“He’s back.”

Her round eyes studied the pale drawing on her arm with deranged meticulousness for the nth time, looking for confirmation. The change in its colour was barely noticeable and to anybody else, it would have been unrecognizable.

Not to her, though, her who passed her days checking for an update on her arm, her who had patiently waiting in that hell of a prison for His return.

Not to her.

She was sure her dark mark was a grade darker than what it had been just a few seconds before.

“He’s back, he truly is.” She repeated, louder than before but, still, her tone was just above a whisper.

It was enough.

An annoyed intense grunt came from the wall to her right, she easily ignored it, engrossed as she was in the epiphany that had just struck her.

The witch leaned down on her forearm to kiss the mark with renewed spirit, a long detailed trail of kisses covered each spot of her strange tattoo.

“He’s back! He’s back, He’s back, He’s—” She quickly covered her mouth with the palm of her dirty, dry hand and wearily looked around to check her surroundings. How ungrateful of her, to speak so poorly of her Lord.

What a poor choice of words. ‘He’s back’, He’s never been gone at all. He was just waiting for the right time to come back, He must have spent some time regaining his strength.

She shook her head, ashamed of her own behaviour, her pompous mass of hair followed her movements. There was a jiff of hesitation, then she proceeded to correct her previous choice of words. “— he’s never been gone at all. My master...I knew it! I knew this day would come, I’ve never lost faith, my Lord, not even once, not even for a single teeny tiny fraction of a second. I’ve waited, faithfully, and now we’ll be tog––”

Again, an interruption.

The wall to her right spoke, not bothering to hide its disdain for the witch. “You’re delusional.” There was a shade of tiredness in his tone.

How dare he speak to her?

In the fury of the moment, the witch had tried to get up to get closer to the wall and break it down with her bare hands. Sadly, she forgot she had been handcuffed with heavy sharp metal strings and she almost tumbled face first on the floor. Almost.

“Shut up, shut up! HE’S ALIVE AND WELL!” Came the reply of the woman, she wanted everybody on that god-awful ground to know the truth.

Their loyalty was going to be rewarded, they didn’t face Azkaban for anything. She could feel her heartbeat increase as time went by, she knew they would have joined soon for a meal. “Rod, are you there?” This time, her voice was more trembling, giving away her excitement.

She didn’t know exactly where her husband had been accommodated, but she was well aware he had been restricted on her same ground.

She liked to believe only a few cells separated them, which had to be true since they had spoken – better yet, shouted to each other – on several occasions since day one of their confinement for life.

She was about to get to her feet again when a shiver of cold ran through her spine.

She brought a hand to her chest, grasping the tissue of her uniform to cover and warm the exposed skin. The temperature had dropped in just a speck of time, and it wasn’t due to the howling icy wind that blew outside.

Immediately, she looked down: the damp floor was turning quickly and way too easily into ice. That could only mean one thing.

Her first instinct was to seek shelter, but her four corners room provided none, no shield to use, her body was her only defence.

Even though her legs were telling her to move away and her throat was aching for a scream that she just couldn’t afford to let loose – she did have a reputation, for Merlin’s beard! – she stood still.

The layer of ice on the floor was getting thicker, the creature was coming for her.

Gritting her teeth, she cursed her ass for having been so naive. How could she ever forget where she was? She had let her excitement win and now she’d be punished for her misjudgement. That thing was coming to steal her only happy thought, then it would have killed her.

I’m not going quietly, she thought to herself as she collected all her strength and courage.

She had only managed to grab in each hand the chains of her handcuffs when the creature poked through the bars of the entering wall of her cell.

It looked like a giant black ghost, floating over the ground in all its sick glory. Its bony, dark fingers caressed the bars separating the two figures from physical contact.

Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. Bellatrix opened her mouth to suck frozen air in her lungs, but the air felt thicker, it just could not pass.

She tried to make a fuss out of her chains, she wanted to shake them, slam them into the walls, make any kind of noise to get that thing to move, to make it scared of her and not the other way around. However, she knew it didn’t work that way with dementors, but logic wasn’t something she could count on at that moment.

The thing lingered longer, it felt like it was staring right at her soul.

She had never felt so hopeless in her whole life, she wanted to disappear and to rot in a corner of the cell, she felt like she truly deserved to disappear.

She closed her eyes and waited for the dementor to unlock her door and take away her soul. Her ears were resounding with the erratic sound of her beating heart.

The witch peaked through her eyes, curious to know why it was taking so long and –– it was gone.

Only then she let go of a shaky breath she had been holding. She collapsed on the frozen floor, only to then crawl near the bars.

The dementor had passed over, she’d never been its prey, to begin with. A few feet away, a young wizard was screaming his lungs out as the dark ghost deprived him of his joys.

She couldn’t know for how long she had watched that disgusting show, nor how long she stayed there contemplating the renewed emptiness of her thoughts.

It must have been hours.

Only when she took her right hand over her left wrist to move the handcuff to a strip of skin that wasn’t already cut open she remembered what had happened.

She gazed at her mark in shock, then she sang her chant from the top.

“He’s… alive. I… see it. Do you, Rod?, I see it, clear as day, can you see it too? He’s alive, he’s there, he’s coming again!”

“Will you choke on your tongue already, he’s gone!”

She turned her head to her right, looking at the wall as if it was to be held responsible for such an attack on her person.

How. Dare. He. Her jaw locked, a molar tooth was cracking under the pressure of the muscle.

“SHUT UP!” Fist clenched, ready to physically fight that brat of a cousin. “Filthy blood traitor, good to nothing! What would you know?!” Crawling to the wall on all four, she hardly slammed her fists on the hard, cold bricks, the metallic chains clashed at each hit. “What would your little muggle-shagging-flea-ridden brain KNOW!”

She slammed her fists once again on the rock bricks to nail her point as a picture to the wall. “My poor lord, all alone, they all turned their backs on you. They don’t deserve you, they’re not worthy of your attention.” Her voice, previously gruff and resentful, had turned in an affectionate, pitiful whisper aimed to the mark on her left forearm.

“Guards?” The voice called jokingly, laughing to himself. They both knew nobody was going to show up, they never would. The prisoners were abandoned to themselves, abandoned to die alone. “Medical attention is needed! My dear cousin has definitely lost her fragile and already compromised sanity.”

“But I am, my faith never waved. I’ve patiently waited,, I’ve stood by your side ––”

“Ha, and look where that got you.” He spat lightly, failing to stop that nauseating litany.

“–– I’ll always stand by your side.” Bellatrix kept on as if she hadn’t even heard Sirius’s snarky comment.

“Confirmation enough for them to keep you locked up in here until a dementor will finally take pity on you and free you with a goodbye kiss.”

A corner of his lips lifted up to his cheek as “silence” had finally been restored. Cries of desperation and madness could still be heard from other cells, but at least the death eater had ceased her ridiculous chant.

“Sirius, dearie?” Bellatrix sounded quizzical, but he knew better than to keep going along her insanity. “Don’t you DARE INTERRUPT ME when I’m talking to HIM!” Her last word echoed in the aisle of the prison.

In the cell next to hers, Sirius shook his head. He was so used to her shouts and rants that he didn’t even flinch at her outburst. “Let me knock some good sense into that rotten head of yours.” His voice calm and controlled perfectly masked the angry bark that followed. “He’s DEAD!”

The wizard was expecting a shout or the muffled sound of her cousin’s hands on their common wall, but Bellatrix had other plans.

At first, there were light puffs of air, but it soon became a loud hysteric cackle. “Dead?” She repeated, almost unsure she heard correctly. “Oh, no, no-no-no. The only dead people I know are the Potters, you silly puppy, and that’s on you.”

“I’ll kill you!”

If the clinks of chains were any indication, Sirius must have raised to his feet to come after Bellatrix. “You coming to get me, Sir?”

Further laughter came from the witch, but it wasn’t loud enough to cover the repeated “I will kill you” coming from her neighbour.

“You wouldn’t even get to hex my pinky before I’ve got you laying on your back, crying for mercy.” Spat the woman, aroused by the thought alone.

“I will KILL YOU Bellatrix!” He was rabid, the only mention of his best friend was enough motivation for him to actually earn a reason to deserve that place.

“Is that a promise, pup?” She teased him, gleefully. “I’m afraid it’ll have to wait.”

She ignored the profanities from the cell on her right, ready to commit to her destiny. She glanced at the tiny rectangular window, then she checked the hallway of the ground.

A sly smirk crawled up her face, the time had come.

Bellatrix was done waiting.

She had mustered through all that time in Azkaban only because she hadn’t had proof of a real return of her Lord, but she was resolute in her revelation, now.

He was out there, somewhere, and he needed help – her help.

She closed her eyes and she collected the concentration needed for that spell. It took her a little longer than what it used to take, but eventually, she managed to turn.

The metallic chains fell heavily to the ground, she was free. With a flop of her dark wings, she hopped on the window of the cell.

She looked down and she studied the area surrounding the prison.

The land was nowhere to be seen.

She wasn’t sure she could survive the journey, food deprived as she was, but she had to try.

Curiosity had the best over her, so instead of departing immediately, she flew to the window of Sirius cell. He had never seen her animagus form and he sure couldn’t recognize her, clueless as he was, so she lingered on the windowsill.

A single screech, just to catch his attention. Their eyes met, then the blackbird was gone.

#bellamione #bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #sirius black #azkaban #fanfic #fic #wip #bellatrix black x hermione granger #bellatrix x hermione #help #edit #beta #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fandom #bellamione fic #bellamione fics

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theguywiththesixthsense-blog · 7 years

Text

So around two weeks ago I was in a really bad state. On top of everything that was going on with me in life, there was also that part present. The part where I still didn’t apologize to her parents, I still didn’t let them know i’m sorry, and i still didn’t let them know that i don’t talk to their daughter anymore because I respect them. So I typed this and planned to send it to her brother but the combination of not knowing where to send it to, and the lack of confidence and strength, I didn’t end up sending it. Now it just lays there on one corner of my desktop.

“Hey, x .... umm ok so where do i start.. right .. you probably won't read this whole thing, hell if i were you i wouldn't even open the message after all that happened, but if you find it in your heart to at least read it, then May Allah shower his blessings on you for being so kind and patient.

Before saying anything i really want you to know that i'm doing this as a last resort. I really have no other choice because if i don't do this it's slowly and painfully destroying whatever i have left within me. So what is this all about ? An apology, the apology that i have been trying to get to your parents and your family ever since what happened in 2014 but i just couldn't. The thought of which kept me awake countless nights, which made waves of anxiety and depressive episodes sweep through me for which seemed at the time, forever and never ending, which completely devastated me and left me in to an eternity of darkness and abyss. Thoughts like how would i ever get the strength to confront your parents after everything i did, and even if i find it within me how will ever i get the chance to face them and talk to them and apologize to them. Days passed, weeks passed years passed and i still couldn't do it. I couldn't just let it go i am not that kind of a person and this fact kept tearing me apart piece by piece as days passed and then finally i decided to go to your house and just talk to them and tell them im sorry that's all. But then i couldn't do it fast enough, the time for you to leave came and that devastated your parents and me going to them and bringing back old memories would just be mere selfish of me so i couldn't do it. So here i am writing to you because i don't know what else to do at this point.

I am sorry .... i know no amount of words or emotions will be able to make up for what my actions made you and your family go through. i know that nothing will ever make up for the countless tears i made your parents cry... the immeasurable pain i have caused them ... the heap of untold happiness i have deprived you z y and everyone in your family of... i know nothing i do will ever make it up but i just wanted to let everyone of you know that i am truly sorry ... from the depths of my heart i am and will be forever guilty for my carelessness that costed you and your family so much and caused so much emotional pain and torture. i just wanted to let you know that my entire life i never have intended to cause harm to anyone not even my worst enemies. I have never purposely done something with the intention to cause harm or to hurt someones feelings. But my actions somehow leads to people getting hurt ... and that is just one of the many grief-stricken part of my life. I know none of this justifies whatever i did and how things turned out but if you and your family ever find it in your heart to forgive me for my carelessness ... May Allah reward you and your family with countless blessings and invoke your lives with endless happiness in this life and the hearafter for being kind and merciful.

I know i am a really dull person. I have no special talents like everyone else. I am not good at communicating with people. Being misunderstood has become a nature in my life. I know im not good looking either. So impressing anyone in my life is next to impossible because of how simple down to earth straight forward i am. After the events that folded in 2014 every little thing in my life crumbled away in front of my eyes. The foundations on which my life stood that i have built up from 1st grade slowly started fading away. I had nothing to stand on, my life became just a big ball of numbness. Depression and anxiety attacks started to become a regular routine. I was destroyed and left with emptiness and debris of wars i fight with myself every day. I grew up in a an environment where the only means of communication i learned was in English and no one in my family knew English so i had no one to communicate with. I don't know how you will take that but just try to picture a life where you cant ... communicate with anyone.... The only person in my life ever since childhood who i could communicate with was y. The reason why i am telling you all this is to let you know that even that little part of my life that was the only thing i lived for is not there now. I stopped talking to y march 8th this year, and it was a mutual decision. I realized that my love for Allah has to be more than anything in life and if i am upsetting Allah then how will i ever expect Him to give me what i want from life, and i also realized how disrespectful it is towards you and your parents to be going behind your back and talking with her. So i decided to stop everything every kind of communication i had with her, and it wasn't easy at all after the fact that just me growing up as a person revolved around her, but i had to do it because my respect for your parents and my religion comes before my needs in life. So i will not try to or even attempt to communicate with her anymore until your parents give me permission to. But at the same time I want you to know that y will always be the one and only girl in my life that i open up to and nothing no matter where life leads us will change that fact ever. She will always come before anyone else in my life which includes myself too.

I don't know if you read the whole thing, if you did you have no idea how grateful i will be x.... and im sorry for making it so long i didn't mean to, it happens now because the only way i can express myself is by blogging these days since i have no one to communicate with. You can just copy paste this whole thing and send it to your parents if you want but please try to at least let them know that i am sorry.... May Allah help you with everything in your life and May Allah help bless your parents with countless mercy and love.”

I don’t know if i was wrong in deciding to send it to her brother, whether he is mature enough to receive it in a way i thought he would. Nor do i know if i was wrong in not sending it to him and letting it rot on my desktop.

I guess only time will tell ....

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