#if you genuinely believe your faith is correct learning about other peoples shouldnt be a threat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wnrss · 5 years

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2 penguins 2 u

You found me. Now, I understand that for both of us we probably didn’t think we needed, or wanted a relationship. I know I couldn’t tell if I was ready. I honestly think you still debate this. I know i am a lot too handle. I know you think I am not over this said ex. But its not him I spend my days thinking about. I know i talk a lot about people from my past, but its something i have always done. I am not good and realizing once people are gone they are gone. But also every relationship big or small, friendship or romantic have great stories to tell. To show. THAT is the only reason I talk about people, i once cared about. It is because i feel that the world shouldnt see them as bad people even if they've done bad things. i have done bad things. I never did them on purpose as some others do. But I learned from my mistakes. I continue to learn everyday. You came around, 8 months later, after 8 months of waiting, wishing, hoping that I would see this person, and just know that in one way or another they were meant to be something. I think that honestly, yeah we took it faster than any relationship I have ever had. I think that I also have never been so comfortable with someone. that certain moments i forget what the world makes me so scared of. I'm scared of losing you even though its going to happen at some point. I understand that if you truly do not love me, that, that is okay with me. that if they doesn’t seem to be something you want, i never want you afraid to leave. Yes, this seems so fucking negative. I know you think a lot of this is going to have attitude. This is me, gracefully saying, that I love you, and it is okay if you do not love me. But I'm not ruling it out that you do. See we don't talk much about our feelings... and normally I can write such graceful words... but when I go to write about you... I cant focus on one said thing I like or cherish about you. I get distracted by all that you are. I need you to understand, I talk about past things simply because, I am scared. I don’t know if you have ever been cheated on. I have been cheated on by the three most “impacting” relationships I've I have learned from each, but it makes trust issues. With that said. My trust issues are not with YOU. I trust you. I do not trust the universe. I have been dealt with too many shit people in my life, to 100% think i can trust this universe. I've seen the unhappiness and the unfair it's given you. I think you deserve the world. I wish I could give it to you. However they did give me you. I need you to realize, that when you don’t tell me what I did wrong, I panic. You should be able to tell me, without getting into an argument, I understand you were “raised this way: however at this point in your life, you need to open yourself to the possibility that someone will be your best friend, you will love and fall for certain people, you will be disappointed. You have those rights, you should be feeling these things. I also know that you do feel theses things. I know that you feel insecure, for why I understand I don’t know. You light up every room you walk into, whether it is your worst or best days. You care, and I know you hate to admit it. I know you're terrified of losing your family, even though you say that they irritate you. I know they cause you more stress than any other thing or person. But it's family and as much as you want to escape I think you're fearful of losing them. I know you and your brother are two very different people but I know he means well and so do you. I know you love them all , and you stress for and with them, and in the end it will be okay.I need you to know i am so proud of you. I am so proud you are in my life, whether its for a long time or a short time.

The only person i want is you. now i guarantee that i will piss you off more than anything sometimes. that you'll ask why you try or put in the effort when i am negative . i also will guarantee my loyalty, my faith in you as a good person. You think about yourself in such a negative way. If you were that person, i wouldn’t love or care the way I do. I wouldn’t try and reach out and be there. I wouldn’t think of you throughout the day. I wouldn’t try and figure out whats wrong. you either need to please start believing that yes i am a lot right now, but i still try to support and give you love as much as possible. but i get better throughout time, I am growing, and as i do that you do too, whether we fall apart or fall together... that my love is your decision. i hope that we make it, i hope we grow together, but i do ask you stop closing yourself off so much, stop shutting down. I am here for you. I care about you. If you need to yell, love, laugh, smile, cry, talk. Whether we are together or not. I am here. please let me be there for you.

I understand a lot of this seems like I'm being mean and ranting more about what's wrong but it's not. It's a reasoning to my madness.

There is a reason that I appreciate the way you care and love for people. Even though you don't admit it.

There is this hope I know you have, and I know you say you have no effort but I think it's because you feel stuck.

You aren't stuck.

I think that you can accomplish so much, and I've seen you. You're smart. You're wise and you have an old soul.

I see the way you look at him and love him so much.

I love the way you enjoy the "stupid" comedies and now I enjoy them too.

I love that you...

Have the nicest eyes... you wouldn't think someone who has cool eyes... would be warm like a blanket.

I always hated anything other than brown and and now I love yours.

I enjoy the way you laugh, and are goofy.

How you sing in the car.

I love that on my worst days... you make me smile.

I love the way when we sleep next to each other until the morning comes you hold me in your arms.

I love the way you snore.

It's not loud but soft but cute.

I enjoy every moment we spend together.

I love the you are so sweet around my family, like you genuinely enjoy being there.

I like that you support my stupidness but correct me when I'm wrong.

I think you're adorable and your smile makes me warm and gives me butterflies.

I like that I can think about a future but not to far in advanced.

You keep me grounded and safe.

You make me feel at home and peaceful.

Here is no way to describe how I feel about you. But I care about you.

I honestly can't write much about you because I don't know heo to put it in words.

But I care and I cherish you and I really wish you could see or understand that. I know we don't talk about it. But I know maybe one day we will.

I want to make you happy and I don't know how.

But I'll try my best to help you succeed.

-all I really have for now.

I want to make the world easier for you the way you have for me.

I want to show you all you can do and how much you are capable of loving someone.

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