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#im available if they need help but it's not busy rn so. School!
orcelito · 2 years
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GREAT NEWS turns out there was a reset for email passwords. i went to the IT page to try to contact about not being able to log into my account & it was there, Main Page, so i managed to reset my password SO!!!!!!!! i have access to my school email again 
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regesc · 4 years
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IM USULALY reluctant to post hcs that affect other charas but im on a wild trip and i love ncot + his bros so heres some personal hcs for noct + the guys!
> b4 he came out noct had like a few years at age 16-18 where he just. stole promptos clothes. specifically his school uniforms 2 wear to school w/o having to tell ignis or anyone he was wearing ‘em which is why he always looked a hot mess or like his clothes didnt properly fit LMAO. he didnt even ask the first time he was jst over his house and was like. hmm ill take these. prompto: oh? oh okay uh. well okay
> ignis stopped driving noct home after he waited at the highschool gates for an entire hour only to get a text from noct like “im home where r u” and he realised noctis had gone to the arcade w/ friends and then walked home. noctis got a huge lecture abt telling ppl where he was going after that.
> gladio started escorting noct places at abt age 17 when he was attacked the first time. gladio was only there bcus noct called asking for a ride home (ignis was in a meeting) and gladio lords it over him constnatly that he was this  👌 this close to gettin his shit fucked up if he hadnt have called him. noct acutally offered to heal the wound magically but gladio said he wanted 2 keep a scar bcus there was nothing more imposing than a shield with scuffs 
> prompto stayed at nocts house a lot espec overnight bcus noct kinda hated being alone in that huge house AFTER LIVING IN  A GIANT CASTLE FULL OF PEOPLE AND like who could turn down a fancy apartment w/ free food and a ton of comics + Video games. though it took prompto a few weeks of staying over to actually meet ignis bcus ignis at the start of highschool for noct / his first year tended to come over when he was at school then tend to royal business / etc of a night, so prompto thought noct had a maid or smth who came in to clean up then  one day the walked in and ignis was there and prompto screamed. he kinda started cleaning up after himself a lot more after he met ignis tho lmao. 
> noct has babysat iris before / taken her home from school before to help gladio out. as clarus is in royal employ he is afforded a babysitter / childcare etc but there were times she needed to be brought straight to the castle (noct and her went 2 the same school) or she needed someplace to stay for awhile and nobody was immediately available. she loved coming to his apartment cause he let her play all his video games and anything else she wanted.
> noct worked like a ton of jobs and paid his own rent n gladio was always fuckin amazed by the fact that he chose to do that even tho he could have had it paid all for him. and like some things were paid for him so it wasnt entirely of his own ( like utilities etc were free cause the building belonged to the royal family ) but he made that RENT and he was proud of himself for it .
okay thats all ive got rn enjoy
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novitafm · 4 years
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  *  𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑒  𝒹𝒶𝓌𝓈𝑜𝓃  𝓋𝒸  *  𝖍𝖊𝖞  𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙’𝖘  𝖚𝖕  𝖚  𝖌𝖚𝖞𝖘  !  i’m  late  to  the  party  but  i  was  tryna  be  ~aesthetic~  &  get  my  tags  nice  !  which  is  kinda  . . .  lame  but  oh  well  !  i’m  ready  to  plot  up  in  this  bitch  !  i  just  love  the  concept  of  this  plot  ,  like  i’m  the  biggest  reality  tv  show  hoe  !  i’m  lit  binging  too  hot  to  handle  rn  cause  how  can  u  not  ?  anywayth  ,  this  here  is  my  baby  love  novita  aka  nova  ur  rags  to  riches  storyline  !  i  want  all  the  plots  i  can  get  &  if  u  wanna  plot  smash  that  lil  🖤 button  !  i  can  hit  u  up  on  tumblr  ims  . . .  but  in  all  honesty  tumblr  ims  suck  so  hit  ya  girl  up  on  dickcord  @  𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡  𝑏𝑒  𝖘𝖚𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘#4904  that  way  i  can  constantly  annoy  u  !
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  there’s  𝔫𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔱𝔞  𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔬  !  though  on  their  socials  they  go  by  @supernova  .  i  heard  she  is  originally  from  𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏  𝒎𝒐𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒆  𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆  𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌  ,  𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒂  ,  but  made  the  big  move  to  los  angeles  to  join  TWENTIES  .  you  haven’t  heard  about  it  ?  well  ,  apparently  their  dream  is  to  𝒂𝒄𝒕  𝒊𝒏  𝒂  𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒆  𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒃𝒚  𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏  𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒐  ,  but  they  have  no  chance  unless  they  quit  being  so  𝔢𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔠  &  𝔰𝔶𝔟𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔠  .  that  said  ,  those  behind  the  scenes  have  said  they  can  be  𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱  &  𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔫  too  .  guess  we’ll  have  to  watch  and  find  out  !  ━  &  pink  highlighted  scripts  scattered  on  the  kitchen  table  ,  lacy  lingerie  peeking  out  of  clothing  &  love  letters  tucked  away  in  a  hat  box  on  a  closet  shelf  .
TW  :  drugs  
* ・. ∘  𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔  .  ◞
𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢  ›  novita  grace  serrano 𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢  ›  nova  ,  novs  &  serrano 𝔞𝔤𝔢  ›  twenty  one  years  old 𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢  𝔬𝔣  𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥  ›  february  29th  ,  1999 𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠  𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫  ›  aquarius  sun  ,  moon  &  rising 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱  𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢  ›  los angeles  ,  california 𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫  ›  plantation  mobile  home  park  ,  florida 𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶  ›  american 𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫  ›  actress  &  model 𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤  𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪  ›  zoey  deutch 𝔪𝔬𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤  𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪  ›  kaia  gerber 𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯  &  𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔰  ›  cisfemale  &  she  /  her 𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫  ›  pansexual  &  panromantic 𝔩𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔰  ›  the  coquette  ,  the  babydoll  &  the  sybarite
* ・. ∘  𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔  .  ◞
pink  highlighted  scripts  scattered  on  the  kitchen  table  ,  an  intense  coffee  addiction  ,  lacy  lingerie  peeking  out  of  clothing  ,  strappy  high  heels  ,  floral  perfumes  with  sweet  notes  ,  love  letters  tucked  away  in  a  hat  box  tucked  on  a  closet  shelf  ,  black  lingerie  for  special  occasions  ,  glossy  lips  constantly  ,  pink  champagne  ,  sweet  breakfast  foods  ,  freshly  manicured  nails  
* ・. ∘  𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅  .  ◞
valentina  &  matteo  met  at  a  typical  high  school  party  ,  valentina  the  girl  from  a  strict  &  religious  household  ,  matteo  the  dirtbag  left  to  his  own  devices  
the  two  had  a  whirlwind  romance  ,  getting  high  off  each  other  &  off  of  crack  ,  the  drug  of  choice  that  matteo  introduced  valentina  to
after  only  six  months  ,  valentina  &  matteo  were  addicted  ,  not  only  to  their  toxic  relationship  but  to  the  crack  ,  all   at  the  mere  age  of  15  &  18
their  highs  &  carelessness  led  to  valentina  getting  pregnant  ,  when  the  two  found  out  that  she  was  pregnant  they  ran  away  
they  both  came  from  very  strict  households  &  this  was  their  way  out  ,  something  they  always  talked  about  in  bed  
they  only  went  about  four  hours  away  from  home  ,  landing  in  plantation  mobile  home  park  florida  
soon  after  getting  the  cheapest  &  most  run  down  trailer  matteo  fled 
he  left  to  find  the  next  needle  to  stick  in  his  arm  without  the  financial  &  emotional  burden  of  being  a  father
thus  ,  novita  was  born  to  an  addict  teenaged  single  mom  in   a  trailer  park
so  valentina  was  left  without  her  family  ,  alone  to  raise  a  baby  at  the  age  of  sixteen  all  the  while  trying  to  stay  sober  for  the  baby  that  changed  her  life  ,  thankfully  she  was  able  to  get  a  job  but  there  were  a  few  times  where  she  almost  lost  it  because  she  slipped  
her  mother  ,  valentina  ,  was  a  waitress  at  a  diner  making  minimum  wage
since  valentina  was  a  single  parent  that  would  work  as  much  as  she  could  nova  had  to  be  taken  care  of  by  someone  else  ,  she  was  watched  by  a  older  woman  who  she  called  kitty  who  had  lived  in  the  trailer  park  since  she  was  born
when  she  did  slip  kitty  watched  nova  ,  she  actually  had  a  small room  just  for  the  girl  when  valentina  was  either  working  late  or  disappeared  for  a  little  bit
because  of  her  mother’s  job  &  her  craving  for  a  high  there  wasn’t  a  whole  lot  of  money  for  the  two  of  them
nova  grew  up  fairly  poor  life  &  she  always  fantasized  about  her  mother  getting  swept  off  her  feet  by  a  rich  ,  handsome  doctor  or  lawyer  ,  a  fantasy  that  valentina  shared  but never voiced
when  nova  was  seven  she  was  at  the  mall  with  kitty  ,  while  her  mom  was  at  work  ,  they  were  approached  by  a  talent  company  who  thought  nova  would  make  a  great  child  actress  or  model  
kitty  knowing  that  valentina  &  nova  needed  the  money  ,  signed nova  up
at  first  valentina  was  less  than  happy  about  her  child  being  an  actress  or  model  because  of  how  it  would  interfere  with  her  job  &  nova’s  schooling
but  when  she  heard  how  much  nova  could  make  in  just  one  day  &  with  kitty  offering  to  help  by  taking  her  to  auditions  &  jobs  she allowed  nova  to  start  her  career
nova’s  first  job  was  a  commercial  for  barbies  ,  something  that  nova  will  always  remember
the  beginning  of  her  career  was  a  slow  start  ,  making  valentina reconsider  having  nova  being  in  the  business  a  handful  of  times  ,  but  each  time  valentina  had  doubts  ,  kitty  helped  reassure  her
when  nova  turned  twelve  she  got  her  biggest  role ,  a  reoccurring  role  in  a  soap  opera  as  a  daughter  of  a  main  character
she  continued  that  role  up  until  she  was  fifteen  ,  by  the  time  she  hit  fifteen  school  was  really  put  on  the  back  burner  in  nova’s  eyes
instead  of  being  concerned  with  pep  rallies  &  dances  ,  she  was  more   bothered  with  finding  what  her  next  role  or  photoshoot  would  be
finally  at  sixteen  ,  after  a  lot  of  pestering  on  nova’s  part  ,  valentina  let  nova  quit  school  & instead  get  her  ged
once  she  had  her  ged  &  didn’t  need  to  attend  school  she  had  a  lot  more  time  on  her  hands  ,  giving  her  more  opportunities  to  work  jobs
this  is  when  her  career  really  started  taking  off  ,  she  was  booking  more  modeling  gigs  , which  had  her  traveling  &  living  the  model  lifestyle
the  traveling  made  her  long  for  a  better  life  ,  seeing  where  elite  models  &  talented  actresses  could  go  if  they  worked  hard  enough
this  is  what  drove  nova  ,  she  saved  &  saved  &  saved  ,  instead  of  telling  valentina  she  was  making  more  money  she  tucked  away  the  difference  so  that  she  would  be  able  to  make  her  way  to  la  when  she  turned  eighteen
the  summer  that  her  high  school  friends  graduated  &  nova  was  about  to  turn  eighteen  ,  she  moved  across  the  country  to  la  with  a  high school  friend  (  wanted  connection  mayhaps  )  they  got  a  run  down  apartment  with  all  of  the  money  they  both  had  saved  up
thanks  to  nova  moving  to  la  she  was  able  to  get  better  roles  &  more  impressive  gigs
i’m  using  zoey  deutch  as  her  acting  claim  so  i’m  gonna  say  that  her  first  big  role  was  as  shadia  in  dirty  grandpa  when  she  was  eighteen
then  she  slowly  began  getting  more  movie  roles  like  everybody  wants  some  !!  , good  kids  , why  him  ,  &  before  i  fall
she’s  still  not  nearly  where  she  would  like  to  be  career  wise  ,  but  she’s  making  her  way  towards  stardom
when  her  agent  told  her  about  the  casting  call  for  twenties  ,  nova  was  apprehensive  ,  she  didn’t  want  to  be  seen  as  a  reality  tv  star  like  paris  hilton  or  lauren  conrad  ,  she  wanted  to  make  a  name  for  herself  as  an  actress
but  nova’s  agent  convinced  her  that  twenties  would  get  her  more  recognition  &  show  how  hard  she’s  working  on  her  craft  &  that  was  all  it  took  for  nova  to  say  yes  to  the  audition
she  didn’t  have  high  hopes  for  the  show  &  didn’t  even  plan  on  being  cast  ,  but  when  she  got  the  call  she  realized  how  eager  she  actually  was  to  be  apart  of  twenties  
* ・. ∘  𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  .  ◞
𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢  ›  fervent  ,  driven  ,  confident  ,  charismatic  &  independent 𝔲𝔫𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢  ›  egotistic  ,  sybaritic  ,  guileful  ,  critical  &  histrionic 𝔪𝔲𝔰𝔢  𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔭𝔬  ›  buffy  summers  ,  jennifer  check  ,  lorelai  gilmore  ,  robin scherbatsky  ,  lucille  bluth  , margaery  tyrell  ,  jackie  burkhart  &  kathryn merteuil
given  her  history  ,  nova  has  grown  up  to  be  a  very  driven  &  motivated  girl  
she  takes  her  work  very  seriously  because  she  never  wants  to  end  up  like  her  mother  or  back  in  a  trailer  park
nova  learned  from  a  young  age  that  being  charismatic  &  flirtatious  made  you  stand  out  in  a  crowd  of  girls  the  look  the  same  as  you  &  want  the  same  things  as  you
she  uses  her  sexuality  to  her  advantage  &  she’s  a  huge  feminist  that  promotes  women  making  choices  about  their  bodies  for  themselves
novs  is  all  about  the  girl  friendships  &  is  loyal  to  a  fault  ,  if  her  best  friend  told  her  that  her  boyfriend  broke  up  with  her  nova  would  be  on  his  ass  in  an  instant
despite  her  loyalty  i  don’t  really  see  nova  making  lots  of  close  friends  easily  ,  once  they  are  close  she’s  extremely  open  but  opening  up  is  hard  for  her  to  do
she  also  likes  to  party  she’s  very  much  into  the  lavish  lifestyle  ,  wanting  to  milk  it  for  all  it’s  work  while  it’s  still  available  to  her
she’s  incredibly  independent  ,  very  confident  &  extremely  adventurous
though  nova  can  be  quite  self  absorbed  &  self  obsessed  in  the  sense  that  her  career  &  herself  are  the  only  priorities  in  her  life
* ・. ∘  𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅  .  ◞
ride  or  die  ,  girl  squad  ,  best  guy  friend  ,  brother  like  relationship  ,  good  influence  ,  party  friends  , drinking  buddies  ,  shopping  friends  ,  gossip  squad  ,  only  like  each  other  when  they’re  both  drunk  , on  &  off  hookups  ,  friends  with  benefits  , one  night  stand  ,  ex  boyfriend  ,  ex  girlfriend  ,  will   they  / won’t  they  ,  costar  ,  producer  ,  fellow  model  on  a  job  ,  enemies  ,  rivals  ,  annoyance  ,  angel  on  her  shoulder  ,  tagalong  &  so  many  more  !!  
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madeupofillness · 2 years
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I need advice
I live with my mom and my dad, my dad works all day and has business trips so he isn't always home but he's here more than he used to be. My mom is manipulative and abusive and used to be even more abusive and neglectful when I was younger and my dad wasn't around as much. my mom is disabled and stay home most of the day every day. We've tried therapy and I've tried talking to her and working through it and I'm in individual therapy as well and come to the conclusion it might just be best to leave it then trying to mend the relationship. This is okay with me, truly, I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else is mostly cutting off someone they live with? I'm in school and can't move out quite yet, I should be able to within the next year as long as everything goes according to plan, I also have to be careful because I have pets which is a main argument point (she tires to "take care of them" without permission and has threatened to take them away multiple times) I also can't drive and need a ride which usually only my mom is available for, idk what to do anymore and im so fucking tired i cant do this anymore i need help and i have no way of getting it
im tired, desperate and out of ideas, any advice or even comfort is appreciated especially if you can relate and are available to talk or be friends or even if you can't but can still talk.. idk i dont have a lot of friends and i feel really alone rn
12-30-21
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sunnysidewrites · 7 years
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Assassin!Seungcheol Pt 1
Requested by anon: Can please request a seungcheol mafia au with angst and fluff 💘 
hi lil anon i was actually already planning on writing this au right before you requested! I hope this was something along the lines of what you were looking for!! happy bday to papa cheols he is sUCH A BIAS WRECKER!! AND IM SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! THIS ALMOST SURPASSED WOLF!WONWOO’S LENGTH JLSDJFDLS I WILL DO A PART 2 IF PEOPLE WANT IT!!!
also I was in the middle of writing this when all of a sudden i got a notification that @cheollies posted one and i was like oMG ARE U SERIOUS HERS IS SO MUCH BETTER!! go check hers out IM SO IN LOVE WITH HER WRITING OMG SHE GIVES ME INSPIRATION!!! my au takes a different direction bUT I FIND IT FUNNY HOW WE BOTH DID IT LMAO
warnings: fluff and a whole lotta angst, mention of some violence
Part 1 | Part 2 (Finale)
Yes another one
I apparently really like assassin and vigilante aus bc,,,, just look at wonwoo’s
I just kiNDA LIVE FOR THIS TROPE LEAVE ME A LO N E
anyways birthday boi papa cheols can run me over with this au bye
Seungcheol had always been involved in the shady realm of business
His father was a politician and,,,, well he wasn’t bad but he wasn’t good either
Seungcheol, however, thought his father did some questionable things
His suspicions were confirmed one day
“You’re gonna need to protect me”
And lil cheollie was like ???? what do you mean dad????
“Son, I have a lot of enemies, and that’s inevitable when you have this type of job. I don’t trust anyone else to do this job,,, so,,,,,,”
Poor smol cheols is still really confused like dad im still not understanding
“I need you to,,,,, take care,,,,,, of some people for me”
“Take care?? Like help them when they’re sick???”
“Sure…. Sick…. Let’s go with that”
And from then on, seungcheol started this dirty job his father brainwashed him into doing
He was only in middle school when he had to do his first “mission”
Since his dad didn’t want him to do anything big just yet, he only had cheols start off by dropping in poison discreetly in drinks
His missions slowly started to grow larger and next thing you know Seungcheol is taking up self defense classes
He’s now in his early 20’s and,,,,
His heart has completely hardened
I’m sad now
All he thinks about is how his father will be proud for completing whatever current mission he needs to do
The reassuring words of “i’m proud” always made him feel overjoyed,,,, his father had never once said that to him even when Seungcheol had good grades or brought his team to first place in the football championships,,,,
No. His father only congratulated him every time he took care of an “inconvenience.”
“If this is what I have to do to get him to notice me,,,,, then I’ll do it.”
His father is in the middle of negotiating with another distinguished political figure,,, but things aren’t going very well
Being the manipulative person he is, cheol’s father is blackmailing the man to give in
“You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your daughter,,,,, do you?”
“,,,,,You wouldn’t. Leave her out of this and settle this like a real man.”
“Oh, but I most certainly would, Park. Do not test me.”
The man mulls it over in thought before caving in
Ofc,,, seungcheol doesn't know about the dirty work his father does himself
He only thinks there's a reason for why his father has a need to get rid of bad men, and he just goes along with it
At this point he’s completely void of warmth and nurture
Whatever his father orders him to do, he does it without hesitation whatsoever
Until,,,, he meets,,,,
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you apologize for running into someone
He doesn’t have time to deal with this since he’s on his way to meet his father but he takes one look at your face and he is star!! struck!!
“A-ah,,,, it’s alright; I wasn’t looking either,” he says with a dazed look
And you’re like oh good sorry about that again!! And you rush off to wherever you’re going
He watches you leave but then he’s like o right i gotta meet dad
The rest of the day he just has thoughts on the stranger he bumped into
His next mission is to get rid of the man’s daughter, but he can’t immediately kill her just quite yet
His father tells him to wait it out if the man pulls any tricks on him
But as for now, the father is holding off any missions for cheols bc the other politician is his main concern rn, and there doesn’t seem to be anything shady just yet
Cheols is like welp ok guess i’ll just,,,,,,chill or smth,,,,,,
And cheols hasn’t had free time in a loooong time so he’s kinda unsure what to exactly do
He decides to just go to the gym and hang out around a mall or smth like he literally does not know what to do
He’s at a nearby mall one day just chilling on a bench and sipping his smoothie he bought from the food court when he suddenly sits upright
A few shops down is the same person he bumped into!!!
You’re on a lonely shopping spree that consists of just window shopping and going around to stores that seem to have cute clothes
And he’s just like ,,,,,,,,what are the chances of meeting her again,,,,,,,,
He casually walks over at a reasonable distance where he’s far enough to not seem like a stalker but close enough to have you in sight
When he sees you heading out of the store he just casually bumps into you
“Oh sorry -- omg it’s you!” you say pointing your finger at him
And he’s like lmao :) yes :) it is me :) totally coincidental :)
“It’s alright,,, i’m already used to it ;)”
And you’re like l m a o,,, k then
“Are you by yourself?”
“Well,,, just having some me time” you raise your hands to gesture to the bags in your hand
“You look like you can use some company ;)” cheols pls
And you’re like ahhaahaha,,,,,, well not realllllly LOL but,,,,, you can join if you’d like,,,,,,, or smth,,,,,
And that’s how you got Seungcheol to spontaneously join you in what you originally intended to be your me time
When you had to get going, he was like you wanna,, exchange numbers so we can do this again??
And you’re like ,,,,,,,,sure
Smooth cheol not really bye
You guys keep this up for the next few weeks, either you hitting him up to “have someone accompany you,” or him seeing what you’re up to and joining you regardless bc “you need someone to protect you”
I mean you lowkey do tho
You grow closer to Seungcheol but you’re utterly oblivious to what he does behind the scenes
And quite frankly, he wants it to stay that way
For once, he was not shunned bc of his work and he wants to keep it that way
He’s finally met someone who’s overlooked everything he’s ever wanted to hide and he doesn’t ever want that to be taken away from him
You and seungcheol have grown so close that you guys don’t even bother to use an excuse to see each other like how you did the first week or so of meeting each other
“Hey let’s go down to the new cafe down the street”
“Be there in 10”
Seungcheol didn’t realize how deep he fell until he saw you with another guy
Once the person leaves, he sidles up next to you and starts badgering you
“Who was that guy”
“What did he want”
“I think he was standing a little too close to you”
“He didn’t try anything funny, did he?”
“fOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHEOL THAT WAS MY COUSIN”
“....still”
And he’s like i don’t like it when guys get too close to you
And you’re like why do you even care so much?????
“Bc,,,,,,,,,,i like you you don’t know self-defense”
And you’re like uM IM NOT WEAK
“Try throwing me over”
“You’re like twice my size wtf”
“dO IT”
And you’re like ,,,,,,,,ok fine i’m weak
And the way you’re pouting and playfully hitting his arm
It’s all it takes for him to laugh with a twinkle in his eyes and he realizes
He’s in love
The curve of your lips, the crinkle of your eyes,,,, it’s enough to set him off
He only stands there staring at you and you’re like ????
“Earth to cheols???” you wave your hand in front of his face thinking he spaced out
You have a very perplexed look on your face and he’s like okAY I CAN’T TAKE THIS
He grabs your face and you’re like uH????????????
“You need to stop”
“Stop,,,, what? What do i need to stop????”
“Being so vulnerable. You only make yourself more irresistible”
And before you can even ask him what he means by that, he juST PULLS YOU IN AND KISSES YOU
And you’re like o H MY GO D WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT
But the warmth emitting from his body and the softness of his lips make you wanna dIE and you both soon engage in a passionate kiss
You hadn’t realized you liked him until that moment
You,,,, love him
You both break away, completely breathless
“You’re too irresistible, I couldn’t handle it”
“Shut up and kiss me again”
Soon enough you have to part ways and call it a day and both of you are essentially floating back home on cloud 9
You close your door and lean against it, bringing your hand up to your lips
You,,, had your first kiss,,,,,,
Meanwhile back at home, Seungcheol is trying to keep his heart and thoughts from racing
He can still feel your body under his and just merely thinking about it makes him break out into a gigantic foolish grin
The next day, you text him to see if he wants to go check out the ice cream parlor
But,,,,,, you never get a response
You’re thinking he’s probably busy doing something but,,, he doesn’t respond the entire day
Nor does he respond the entire week after that
And you’re just,,,,,,, really hurt and confused
“Where,,, did i go wrong???”
You thought the feelings were mutual that night,,,, now suddenly he got cold feet and left you like this????
Two weeks pass and you still hadn’t heard of anything from him
You text and call him but to no avail
You’re just about to give up contacting him after calling him for the fifth time but you suddenly hear a voice that you’ve been waiting for
“Hello?”
“Cheol what happened to you! I thought,,,, i thought,,,, you didn’t wanna see me anymore,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
And there’s silence on the other end
“Cheol, are you still there?”
“Look,,,,,,, y/n,,,,,, we can’t do this”
Your heart sinks
“W-what can’t we do?”
“This was never gonna work out,,, we should just end it here”
“Cheol, i don’t understand, let’s just meet up and talk--”
“No! Y/N, forget it! Forget everything we did. Forget about us. Forget,,, forget about me.”
“Cheol, stop talking nonsense--”
And the line cuts.
Your arm limply falls and drops the phone
You can’t eat or sleep for the next few days
A week later you return to the same cafe you bumped him at and a small inkling of you wants to meet him but at the same time you don’t know what would happen if you did
You end up going to the cafe every day because of that stupid little small spark of hope inside of you,,,, you keep telling yourself you’ll never see him again but,,,, your feet keep taking you there
Just around the corner of a building across the street, Seungcheol sees you desperately trying to find any signs of him
He grips his gun
“I’m sorry dad,,,, i can’t do it this time”
Might make part 2 if there’s a good response!!!!
349 notes · View notes
This COVID
Unfortunately, the nurses and doctors are the ultimate victims and the worst part of the disease is their PTSD.
They, like most military, police, firefighters and EMT, sign up to risk their lives to HELP and SAVE others.
And they can't. This disease isn't intended to but is a by-product or side effect to cause them their own destruction of self, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
We have a website set up for them for their mental health -- it wasn't active.. Tree just activated it for y'all.
I apologize for that. So many people are calling them heroes and trying to lift their spirits and it is hard for them.
Like y'all...
Picture this...
Standing in a mass grave, trying to find a body still alive you can save... Help.. A mass grave... So I'm talking hundreds of dead bodies and then y'all be all parade and smile and have fun.
They're too busy trying to find a way to help. Trying to find that one breath from a body in that mass of bodies piled knee high.
They look up "oh them jets..." Same time that happens more bodies are being thrown down in that mass grave So they waist high...
By then them Jets have left just a cloud of memory
It doesn't help... Then they chest high with dead bodies... And they're getting buried alive trying to find a way to help.
Do you see what I'm saying? Can you feel that?!
Then they like man I gotta get outta here before I die myself, being buried alive....
Then who can help them? Is there someone strong enough to pull them out, to SEE THEM before the bodies are piled over their heads??
Doctors and nurses have committed suicide. Because they can't handle it.
Because what has happened... Is this is like a reverse WWII... Hospitals are now Nazi Concentration Camps. And the nurses and doctors are the Nazi just watching every one die.
(Note this is an EXAMPLE for the mind to grasp understanding -- i am not stating the doctor nor nurse ARE Nazi. I am merely making a reference to WWII and gas chambers and so on so people can get the visual understanding of the power of COVID and the pain of people that are opposed to Nazi. When she said "This is Real" it is where my mind went -- to the Holocaust which i know a lot about. I studied it on my own many times in my life. To understand how one person could take over the world. I did. In high school, my Oklahoma History teacher even took away my books because i would ask way too many questions about killing of Native Americans and i would say "but how--" and she said that i had a problem with focusing on the wrong thing and i said "but its happening in our world today!! Politicians and Governments!!" She took away the stack of books i had checked out on WWII and took them to the library and i followed her like pulling her jacket and shirt to stop her. She told the librarian I wasn't allowed to check out anymore books like that because I was a teenager and had unhealthy worries in the world. I burst into tears. "Obviously i have to save the world Because of people like you who won't take it seriously!! You're a Hitler yourself!! And you! I'll talk to you tomorrow!!" I spat to the teacher then librarian. And took off to my last class of the day. The Librarian know who i was and how i had spent hours in the library everyday during lunch and had told her how i said i wanted to compare WWII to the way Native American were treated in Oklahoma. And she printed a list of all the different kinds of books i checked out. Including kindergarten picture books for my own enjoyment. And the teacher apologized. She asked if i wanted to apologize to her for calling her Hitler. I said "not yet" eventually I did. In front of the entire class with an entire one and one eighth of a page of written materials comparing and contrasting her to Hitler and people we read about. I said "in conclusion, she may been an Army woman helping people make long disateraous of what they call walks. Of what i call pilgrimages, across many of what we now know are states, but not to be in charge but to be a comforting vessel during maritime war. A war that was unnecessary on water as it was on land and that is my meaning of using water words instead of land Because indeed i think she is a person we can trust but she may also be one of those people to set off a cannon to a far away ship until she finds out the truth of who is in it. But she certainly isn't a Hitler or someone that would order Native Americans to do the undeeded... She would be one of those to walk aside all Native Americans, help pass out blankets and medication. And so as she has apologized to me for firing up that cannon while I was away at sea to do ky research of course, i shall apologize to her for being upset she did and calling her the worst name possible. Which wasn't bitch. Nor ass hole." 10th grade, y'all.)
It is the worst possible place for a nurse or Doctor that signed up to be a comfort and to SAVE lives to be. The worst possible place.
And i can't help them... There is on the now activated website -- there is a place where they can request military services to come in and relief our nurses and others on the front lines, including police.
You just merely request how many and of what capabilities you need. So if you need just CNA (our hugest amount) or RN or PA or DR or so on and so forth.
They have their own pay scale thus allowing the people being substituted for to receive a special type of paid leave. The military can stay in one place at one time up to 9 weeks.
So also a rotation of 9 weeks on. 9 weeks off.
I apologize i thought it was already set up and available for all. But apparently things wanted to be done differently to try it and see how it works.
Now first is HOSPITALS. Basically if your name has the word Hospital in it. Then you're available. BUT you must have an EMERGENCY ROOM (ER) to qualify.
Now systems... Like Lovelace in Albuquerque has like 4 or 5 ER departments. So they go to the MAIN hospital first Then two weeks after rotate in at say the Heart Hospital then after two weeks the Woman's Hospital then a smaller so on and so forth.
Presbyterian, would begin at MAIN then go to Kirkland then so on and so forth.
This way if someone doesn't want to be treated by military. They have options of seeing regular doctors at the main stem branches.
Also it doesn't have to be a 100% but it can be a 25% so 25% of people take off for 9 weeks. Then another 25% take off for 9 weeks. And so on... So you'd have use of the military for 36 weeks.
It is a charity service.
I recommend that y'all cut hours. So a 40 hour nurse goes go 20 hours -- but stays at full time pay and benefits.
As part of our program, the healthcare and other workers MUST remain fully paid while taking time off. Otherwise we cannot assist.
It is for their hearts, their souls and their tears that we supply such a charity. Thus we cannot create more tears, more heartache nor more stress for these people.
So when making plans, hospital executives, please do keep that in mind.
Also for hospitals that refuse to relieve their workers, we have a system set up so that a nurse/doctor/etc can find a suitable replacement of higher quality according to paper. Similar but more advanced to the system that is used to place substitute teachers to teach hundreds school children per one jr high or high school day. And if the hospital rejects the substitute, then we have a system set up to sue the hospital on behalf of the staff. This system is only provided when a main hotspot refuses help.
Such as NYC. However NY has accepted thousands of National Guard already and Idk what exactly is occurring there but we have many side hospitals set up there.
So this is Never Before Seen shit since the Native American's Massacres (that's why i kept getting in trouble in Oklahoma History... The word Massacre.. Dude... I wasn't gonna pretend it didn't happen, Land O´ Lakes, where's our Indian Lady? The farmers didn't kill her, you did. -.-) and definitely not seen while we had this great amount of technology available to all.
So never before seen shit is gonna occur. I'm like yeah this is what will work professionally. And if they can't come up with something better and reject me, then I'll sue and ill win because they don't care and we got documented workers all over social media crying their eyes out.
She is the first African American I've posted but I've posted at least 4. Crying nurses. And i skip over a lot. I keep scrolling past a lot. I scroll past more than Y'all know that i Don't mention.
But her... She made me want to cry just like all the others. And Just like the others, i had dry eyes. Because we worked and worked and worked till we were all bawling our eyes out, taking heart medicine, whether like mine or just for heart burn. Even the little kids. I can't cry anymore. We made the solution for what and when the emergency pandemic would occur.
Hospitals have lost people due to suicide.
It is now time for me to step in. Or we will not have a doctor or nurse that is both alive and recognizable, they will be destroyed -- inside out -- starting with their hearts of mind.
I have had PTSD due to death of a stranger. I was only 18. And i hated myself for over 10 years.
So im gonna break out one day and call you all stupid for attempting to heal evil.
Because that was what I needed. And no one ever told me. And i got back lash. And i know that every single nurse and doctor that was working as hard as they could -- they needed to vent and hate. And i could be that person.
I smiled. I checked in. "Do they still hate me?" Yes "Good"
I know it helps a heart be healthy to have a place to throw hate. And i knew i would be safe from harm. While hate was thrown at me.
Then i took away me as that object of hate. And still healthcare workers are suffering and they're killing themselves. (They'll get to heaven if they deserve. A nice little break for them. Then they will come back when our other dead does. If they are deserving, if Earth is where they Belong. Otherwise they went directly where they Belong for Eternity)
So a quick fix band aid isn't it. It is as far as we predicted - a reverse WWII.
the sick going in... And causing innocent pain.
Instead of the innocent going in and dying by the professional purposely killing them.
This is the complete opposite.
Jack told me "quit hating on these nurses and doctors!"
Because i would scroll past and say "these fucking nurses. Dam it"
I'm not hating them. I'm hating their situation. I'm hating their inability to cope. Their inability to cope is because their inability to cope is due to their deep humanity... It is a character flaw. It is a curse and a blessing. It is the deepest and most difficult of work to breech that muddy waters, dig deep and find a bridge to drag up and build, there is one there in their souls.. But it is buried deep under much chocolate and flowers and all things good...
Unfortunately while being buried under dead bodies its nearly impossible to fix that bridge. Find that way to overcome the desperation, the HORROR their job has become
Even taking a break can sometimes not help... Sometimes it doesn't. But we include self care and encouraging messages from our military teams that substitute while the people take their time off.
Military are far more apt to be able to deal with dead. Military teams sign up knowing they must kill at certain times. They have a different view of death. They accept it and understand it.
A nurse or Doctor they fight it, that is their job. That is their souls and every hope they have in the world is to save lives.
Military, their job, is to make the world better.
Right now, military is just a better fit.
It's different types of brains. It is just different.
And I am sorry. And unfortunately I do know. I have killed a lot of people by hand, kidnappers caught in the act. I killed Pablo Escobar. Then I got amnesia. And I loaned my friend $500 to bail her boyfriend out of jail. It ended up in a suicide of someone he ratted on. I never got over that. It took a very long time. He was a criminal, yes. But I just never got over that loss of life. If I had never bailed him out... That one guy would still be alive.
So I am very sensitive and very understanding of these healthcare crying and not handling their jobs and killing themselves.
I fully understand it. So yes I will sue on behalf of staff that cannot get relief. I will fight and punch until those hospital executives come up black and blue saying "ok im sorry im sorry we can have substitutes and pay full prices for our staff to stay home and rest"
I may have forgot myself... Prior to age 15... But I remember since then. I know how I have suffered and why.
So I am extremely complex to know and understand.
It doesn't matter if you understand or trust me.
You must care and take a leap of FAITH and not one of suicidal consequences, hospital executives.
Because I understand being buried under dead bodies that I feel responsible for. Hating myself. For something that was never my fault and something I did to be nice. Naïve. I fully understand.
And its revolting, now looking back all I put myself through.
And I swore one day... I swore and I swore. I promised myself. One day im gonna use this all for good. That I can forgive myself.
I already did. I realized I'm not the one that needed to be forgiven. And I'm okay. I'm doing great.
But I remember and I will never forget those sleepless nights... The intense fear I had of myself and of doing anything for any reason. I was terrified. What if I go to the store and I effect someone?
What if I get in a car wreck and hurt some one?
I was terrified. Had I not healed thanks to JJFU. Some one I knew and trusted making guns and I said to him everyday for weeks "how can you make guns knowing someone could be hurt? Don't you think you will feel responsible if someone wrote to you and said a kid was killed with one of your guns? An innocent child playing by accident?"
He said "let me get back to you"
And one day he simply said "i can't control what other people do. If they don't lock up their guns or weapons and ammunition seperate. I can't control what a kid does. I hope no one ever gets hurt wrongly and unjustifiable with a gun i produce and make by hand. But, Sabrina, i can not control what other people do. And it isn't my fault what happens after the guns leave my hands and enter another's"
And this air i had been holding in since I was 18 years old just went out of my chest. And i started crying. And crying and i cried for days.
And he said "why are you keep crying? Who are you crying for?"
And I said "i am crying for ME"
"But why?! What did you do to someone so bad?!"
"Cause I hated myself for something I couldn't control.I hated ME. I refused to Love Me. I refused to Trust ME. And now I can cry for me because of what I Lost because I was an ignorant fool, to care too much beyond my control."
3 years later my friend was murdered. I could had prevented that, too. But I didn't get PTSD. Instead i chose to love him and be proud of him. And love us both for doing what was best for us.
I have both the obituary of David Galloway and Justin hanging in my kitchen. One gave me PTSD. One could have. I look at them both. And I say "I love me. But I can love you two and you can love me because I never wanted either one of you to be hurt"
Or I'll walk by "I can imagine you two are fine where you are today. Sorry I'm busy. But I hope you're happy and okay"
One is Zulululu and one is Human. The Zulululu, I got PTSD. He was a selfish drug addict that killed himself leaving behind two kids and a wife just because he didn't want to go to jail. The other was murdered and the last time I saw him, he asked to live with me. The latter should caused my PTSD. HE DESERVED MY PTSD.
But I didn't.
So military is better equipped to handle what is occurring in hospitals. Nurses do need time off even if the military does just set up new temporary hospital
Healthcare workers NEED treatment for what they have seen and gone through.
And I will fight for every single one to get the help they deserve and the time off they need.
Because I know they deserve it. I know they need It. I know how dangerous it is to overlook a simple day in the life of what they have had in the last few weeks.
Throwing them parties. Its kind, and it's sweet.
But it doesn't help anything, it doesn't help anything when the anguish and the PTSD has already set in. Sometimes it makes it worse..
So yeah I get pissed off they're not being helped and it comes out wrong.
So now its time to do it right.
This nurse asks y'all to stay home.
So y'all tell her you will if you will, tell her you can't because you got to go to work and you tell her where (like Gas Station, not the whole address) and y'all be responsible for you and your actions..
We can't control the world. But we can work together to make it better.... Right...?
I think so.
Or we're all gonna die trying.
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wxkryarb-blog · 5 years
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beanytheredonethat · 6 years
Text
Learning the Basics
I know that a lot of my friends and family back home have been anxiously awaiting to hear all about my new life here in South Carolina. I've been asked a few times how married life is going, what it's like to live here, what its like to be married to the military, and various questions about my goals and ideas. Im sure my silence may have been deafening to some, but I've taken my first month to set up shop, convert this lovely little house into a cozy home, get into a nice routine with my husband, explore a little bit, meet new people and start mapping out goals. 
 The overall answer is that I have never been happier in my life. I married my best friend, who every single day amazes me in his ability to be an amazing leader among his peers while excelling in one of the Navy's most stressful and challenging programs. With all of his commitments, he still comes home everyday and is an exceptional husband. I couldn't be more grateful.Our home is beautiful, safe and cozy. I love it here.
 The weather is flip flops and Popsicles, the neighborhood is BBQ and beaches. Everything about my new life burns with the passion and excitement of any coming summer. Everyday I am learning new things about the military and the way that it works. I am finding new ways to support my partner and learning to be the best wife I can be. Living on base is so safe, so secure and so convenient.
 The navy I feel is best described as one big family. I can walk to just about anywhere I need to go. There are so many resources available to us at any given time. I've become quite friendly with the staff at the gym, the library and fleet and family. It's a community that I truly enjoy being apart of. This past month I've had so much time to reflect and to grow. Though admittedly, change can sometimes be difficult: I found my transition here almost flawless. The hardest part of all of this for me was not being Insanely-crazy-busy and not having a job (you know, or six) my first weeks here. 
Having down time made me fear I didn't have direction. I need to be constantly "moving forward" and chasing the next dream. I can't remember ever not having a job, and with my husband gone to work all day, one might say I was a little bit restless.Though, I'm grateful for this time. 
In my newfound security of my brand new life I've had time to really think about how blessed I am. I've had a loving supportive husband to encourage me to take time to find my passion and go after it. I've had time to really figure out what that is. And I've had countless people help me along the way. 
I've taken a step that I was too scared to take before and I applied to a very competitive nursing school. I got my acceptance letter in the mail today and I will be starting as early as May. 
While I am still very nervous, I am thrilled to be given such an amazing opportunity to combine my passion for helping people while satisfying my craving for knowledge and understanding. Though I know school will be challenging, I am lucky to have such an amazing support system. I am excited for the many challenges and dreams Jake and I will take on in this new life we have created together.
 Excited to run a home, excited to hear people call me "Mrs Mercure", excited to be one step closer to getting my RN, and knowing that's just a starting point.I've still got a lot to learn,  
But right now, in this moment, I couldn't be anymore in love with the basics. 
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madisonmakes · 7 years
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If you can't tell my life feels like a total mess rn. My school put me and the counselor in charge of our yearly carnival... we are both new and I am a first year teacher so I have no fucking idea about anything. Then Saturday is large ensemble and solo/ensemble contest and my kids are nowhere near ready AND IT IS FINE because I have worked my ass off to help get them ready and they just AREN'T DOING SHIT. And it looks shitty on me for canceling their solos but in reality these kids won't take any responsibility until the last minute. I have them their music. I gave them recording to practice with. I have them audio of me pronouncing their foreign language piece. I repeatedly reminded them that I was a available to practice before or after school and they just needed to let me know. For a month and a half. And the first time a student worked with me outside of school was last Thursday. And then this morning. And then I am working on the Kindergarten musical and the spring concert and auditioning kids and trying not to panic because I won't have any freshman in my HS choir next year because of scheduling a number of current kids are moving away and I just have so much on my plate and people are like "yeah teachers are busy" or "you just get to sing all day. What's hard about that?" Like stop. And then I thought I had been making my loan payments but I got a note saying my payment is 35 days late and it turns out that my Bank CANCELED my payments WITH NO WARNING and the loan website didn't tell me either! And I know I should be checking my bank account but IM BUSY and it is just infuriating.
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