#im having fun tho and that's what matters. ive decided not to worry about it lol

[orcelito]

a solid month and a half in trigun fandom & i already have over half as many trigun followers as p5 followers from my 2+ years in That fandom lmfao

#speculation nation #i felt like i had more trigun followers than p5 followers but i looked and going by a rough estimate based on pages #it's like. 3:5 ratio. so a bit over half as many. #which. again. considering ive only been participating in this fandom for One And A Half Months. that's kinda insane #it's also crazy to me that it's ONLY been that long. but yea Sentido first chapter was posted on 4/13. #so we're coming up on 2 months but we r not there yet #and i only first got into it at the end of march. like in the 20s or so. and it grabbed me Hard. #so like 2 and a half ish months since i got into trigun. INSAAAAAAAANE that is INSAAAAAAAAANE #i feel like i speed ran fucking Everything. it took over my LIFE in such a thorough way #it feels like ive known it for forever. but it's been such a short time overall. #honestly shoutout to how many p5 ppl still follow me despite the fact that ive been posting MOSTLY trigun sdlfkjsdklfj #i know ive lost some p5 followers and im not even mad about it lmao bc like. Fair. #i do still love p5. but like. ya kno. hyperfixations and all. #i dont rly get to choose what my brain decides to focus on. shit just kinda happens lol #im having fun tho and that's what matters. ive decided not to worry about it lol

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Cemetery Mary: True End (Crowven's Route)

here i am!! time to get the true end, where i will hopefully get all of the answers to my questions (or at least most of them)

since the ending guide says that the true end is the same regardless of the route you got it on, i will be doing Crowven's and not twyla's or Reginald's because i just really like seeing Mary and Crowven have a good time together

spoilers below

since im gonna get the true ending, i've decided i wont skip anything so that i'll be going through a complete story (does that make sense??)

lol its kinda funny (not really) that Mary's parents were so worried that she'd be a victim of 'the Blackwood Butcher' im sure Reginald would find it funny since the only reason he's killing people is for Mary

i wonder why Reginald killed Mary's aunt and uncle (well i think he did) but only kidnapped her parents (unless he killed them at some point but if he did he would have let the bodies be found yk? for a funeral) maybe its just cuz it was her parents

man the tension between Mary and Crowven at the beginning,,,, at least in this route it will fade away

man,, i wonder what would have happened if Mary had told someone about the mystery number instead of like,, talking to them in secret

Vasilis looks cool i know theyre the mc of Blackout Hospital, and ive been planning to play that game after Cemetery Mary so after i get the true ending im gonna play that game afterwards lmaoo I wonder if Crowven shows up in Blackout Hospital or smth it would be interesting to see more of their relationship

"A chocolate muffin! Because sweet foods are the best!" Mary is so cute aaaaa i love her

i also wonder if we'll ever get an explanation for the animosity between twyla and Crowven like what was all that stuff in the lake about?? i need to know

im now wondering if the mystery number really is Reginald i mean who else could it be tho?? but it wasnt really confirmed in any route that its Reginald behind the mystery number and the kidnapping of Mary's parents, just that he's the killer how odd

ohhhh dude i just realized that Mary never learns that Reginald can tell when someone (when Mary?) is lying bc to get on that route you have to be honest with him, so she doesnt learn until that moment leading up to the good ending crazy

"Manslaughter on the Disorient Locomotive" lmaoo nice

I JUST REALIZED THAT TWYLA IS AN OWL OHHHH MY GOD. that makes sense

also Reginald being a pufferfish??? that explains why to get the good ending on his route you have to pick a pufferfish or a manta ray

wait a second. Mary Anta.... manta ray... OH MY FUCKING GOD

MARY ANTA IS JUST AN ANAGRAM OF MANTA RAY WHHH Ok that explains the manta ray part and why she was drawn with a manta ray cape in that one scene and why she feels connected to them and her hair-horn things oh my fucking god. holy shit. this is revolutionary

theyre so cute

also oh my god i just searched the relationship between crows and owls, and theyre enemies!! like Crowven and Twyla!! this makes me wanna search up other stuff about the animals the characters are associated with but i have a game to play so i'll do that later

"Rest-aurant In Peace" thats hilarious

i feel so bad for Mary :(( i hope she sees her parents in the true ending

so the mystery number denies being the one in the diner, which i know is Reginald cuz of the Reginald route so if the mystery number was really Reginald then why would he say that he wasnt in the diner and that he doesnt know who it was

he could be lying OR im wrong and the mystery number isnt Reginald at all but then who could it be??? well i guess i'll find out in the true end

aww this is so cute- oHMY GOD HER DAD IS A MANTA RAY

HE'S GOT THE HORNS AND A LITTLE TALE i wonder what her mom is another manta ray maybe???

man this dream makes me so sad :(( Mary thinks its another normal but fun day w her parents but turns out its just a nightmare also the text after Mary wakes up from the nightmare is so "What's the matter, Mary? I thought you liked ghosts." its so ?!?!?!??

the arcade music is such a banger fr

so Zapara and Theodore,,, what animals are they at first i thought Zapara was a cat but maybe she's a dog??? her ears look like cat ears so she's probably a cat and then Theodore is.... i have no idea my first thought was a ram but probably not?? maybe he is tho

anyways on with the game

i still think its really funny that Zapara and Theodore thought 'Cemetery Mary' was a ghost

"You just met them in the wrong environment, that's all!" lol and u thought having Mary find out that ur friends keep drugs in the cemetery was gonna make her like them more than a club????

"You'd never catch me here looking like some over-watered pansy!" oh Zapara,,,,, little do u know

i much prefer Mary's communication with ghosts over the cursed manga stuff

Sunny is so cute just adorable

"Who's the Crowven I know? Is he just a ghost too?" MAN this line is so,,,, its so,,,, rrraghhhghhhhgh yeah

they put her there in that nasty bathtub while she was asleep disgusting honestly if i were Mary i would be more mad about the fact they put me in a bath tub and not the mean noose prank that Zapara did

"I am not at all a violent person" lol. lmao. funny joke Reg

cries

"...After having lost so many people..." "...I'm just glad I haven't lost you yet." SOBBING

i love them so much,,, they are so cute,,,,

OKKK now its time for the TRUE END so excited!!

what happens if i say no oh LOL it just ends i mean that makes sense

so this mysterious narrator?? rewinded back to when Mary fell asleep at the mausoleum interesting

this sure is new Mary please dont go inside the suspicious white van (is that a white van???)

oh its the bus LOL ok get on the bus

why is he asking her to go back to sleep?? whats happening??

why are they leaving tf

who is that and wtf is happening????

CROWVEN DONT DO THAT DONT GRAB THE FUCKING WHEEL

OH SHIT THEY CRASHED

this is serious and im lowkey freaking out but this just looks cute

oh my god we're finally getting some answers lets gooooo

waitwaitwait wtf gangs??? like actually?? well ok

nO WAY ???? HE WAS THE HEAD OF CONGRESS?? so that was the war he was talking about

oh is that why Crowven and his family live in a cabin in the woods instead of actually inside the city???

aww cute

OH SO REGINALD DIDNT KILL THEM AT ALL IT WAS GANG STUFF

Crowven fucking inherited this shit??? yoo thats crazy oh is that what he was out of town for?? gang stuff??

OHHH WTF HE'S THE MYSTERY NUMBER??? ok so i was wrong okok wild i thought it was Reginald they both had that vibe

"Why were you so creepy over the phone?!?!" LMAOOO ok but true maybe its just cuz he's old/j

dont trust the old man just cuz he's old Mary

ok i guess the old man isnt too bad,,

Ovidius is nice i like him

if Crowven dies in the true end i will cry lol pls answer Mary's messages u soon u fucking idiot

NOOO WTF HER PARENTS WHERE ARE THEY WTF WTF WTF

i dont why but in my head these guys have a british accent

but theyre the only ones with the british accent so i think thats really funny it was the 'ello miss' that made me give them a british accent

anyways WTFFFFF NOOOOO i really hope her parents arent dead

why are we in a fucking movie theatre

OH SHIT CROWVEN WTF WTF IS HAPPENING

did Mary die is she a ghost wtf wtf i hope she didnt???? maybe this is just some weird nightmare??

ok it was just a nightmare but wtf

so she's in a jail cell

what.... the fuck?????

what ?? the fuck?? no explanation at all and for what?? what is he doing there? why was he not talking? where is he going? what the fuck is happening???

LETS GOOO CROWVEN'S ALIVE LETS FUCKING GO

Crowven r u fucking serious????

NOOO WAY TWYLA???? oh my god oh ok so that sorta explains the lake stuff n why they hate each other so much bc theyre in opposing gangs

oh fuck oh no she saw Mary

oh wait wtf she's helping Mary?? fr?? ok i guess she isnt that bad but i still dont like her

oh she's insane actually

oh ok i fucking knew it there is absolutely no reason to trust her

AH FUCK OH NO OH SHIT

lets fucking go!! thanks Ovidius

LETS GOOOOOOOO

goddamnit Crowven STOP IT

Mary what r u doing this is a fucking trap i feel it in my bones no way is it that easy

LMFAOOAOA ITS TWYLA'S CAR

she just threw her phone out the window tf

ok so thats really not important compared to everything else thats happening like the fact that Crowven's in the car that was chasing them

does twyla know abt Mary's ghost communication thing or smth cuz in the route i played she didnt get a chance to learn

oh ok nvm its not even a real mausoleum

i hate twyla so much

OHHHH SHE'S IN THE GHOST WORLD

BC SHE'S UNDER THE CEMETERY,,, ALSO THATS ED THERE TOO

oh my god its death???

crazy she's talking to death and theyre a unicorn????? or narwhal??? wait that doesnt matter

ok so Mary gave up her ability to visit the afterlife unfortunately but its ok it was for her family bro that was literally a deus ex machina right???

lets fucking go!!!

wild crazy insane all those words describe twyla

twyla shut the FUCK up

WAIT WAIT WAIT WTF???

NOOOOOOOO OVIDIUS NOOO WTF WTFWTF

ok so 1) Reginald just up and left with no explanation if i went on his route and got the true end from there then how would that happen? like would we get answers for the manga and that headstone? does Mary react to the fact that she has the ability to visit the afterlife for the first time there???

also a small headstone with twyla's initials showed up??? weird

wait what the fuck what???? huh??? will there be a sequel to this game bc i need an explanation for that and everything else

wow,,, so thats really the end wow

this whole game was an absolutely wild ride but i loved it

even tho there's still some mysteries yet to be tied up... im glad Mary and Crowven and her family are safe and are living a good life now its really nice

i do wonder if there'll be a sequel tho bc i'll definitely play that (there's a prequel so im also gonna play that too)

well,,, time for me to at breakfast bc ive been playing this game since 6 am and i am hungry LOL

#cemetery mary #cemetery mary spoilers

[hegeso]

13.5.24

completely useless NONSENSE shit to talk about today! we’re in silly land. nothing is serious and everything is fun in its own way. everything is made up <3 nothing matters <3 i feel incredibly annoying and soooooo cringe rn but this is an OUTLET

redacted a shocking and absurd joke that p— made about me tho

housemate is spraying for ants in the basement, the fumes have wafted up into my room, as the basement vents directly up here. i’m lightheaded, feel sick, feel a little out of it. it smells bad.

i’ve been playing an imagination game with myself, it’s a fun way to pass the time. i imagine i’m someone else, somewhere else. when my mind starts to wander, i cut myself off and think, “i wonder if i can guess what i’ll think of next?” that’s the trick of it, you can’t do that, it blanks out your thoughts for a second, then i have to come up with something completely different. at the end of my game i have to invent a common thread that links all these people together in some sort of fantastical destiny way. it’s fun to wonder if any of these people have existed in real life.

14.5.24

basil is getting left behind, we’ve decided. i don’t know if he would survive the trip across the country. p— will be better off this way, with our cat to keep him company as he grows accustomed to this room without me in it. i’ll feel much better leaving basil with p—. one less responsibility, a huge relief. unpack all of this more later.

just completed my USPS change of address, need to update voter registration, need to change my address with the two states, etc., new license, ugh! there’s a whole lot of stuff that needs to get done, stuff i can’t do yet, stuff i can’t do without help!

am i allowed to feel sorry for myself here? be pathetic and a pain? i think i have a lot pent up.

this is my misery box where i can put things that don’t feel good. they will stay in this box until i feel safe enough to take them out—>

______

|

hiiiiiiiiiiiii my body hurts all the time and i hate it! my shoulders and neck are killing me right now!!!!! i fear that it’s not possible for me to get “better” and i will end up in so much pain and so useless that i will want to die!

every couple weeks i spend an hour or two trying to do deep internet searches looking for the man who groomed/r*ped/stalked me in 2021 because i’m terrified he’s keeping tabs on me!!!!! i worry that i have just convinced myself that he r*ped me and that it was actually consensual and that i cheated on my partner at the time and that i am a manipulative terrible evil person! i’ve never even typed that out before because im so ashamed and bothered by it!

and i am extremely worried that i’m a shallow person!!! i feel guilty that i can’t give people beautiful compliments and instead am only good at validating people!!!!!

i fear that i am deluding myself into thinking i’m special or that i’m severely mentally ill and if i trust my perception and sense and intuition and What Have You that i’m actually just trusting invented patterns that have no real meaning or value and that any connection to the Everything Else or other people or the earth or who fucking knows what is a result of crossed wires.

any time i acknowledge my abilities or talents or my creativity or the wonderful things ive made i instantly check myself and tell myself it’s a lie. it’s not about being “better” than anyone else i don’t fucking know what it is but it’s like this stupid goddamned curse because underneath that i DO fucking know that i can do things and that ive made things that are beautiful and that i am meant to make things with my hands and my heart!!!!!!!!!!!! i know it! i know it! and something about me has layered something on top of those beliefs, a filter, someone else’s voice, the protective part of myself that wants to prevent my identity from being completely shattered so instead it tries to convince me otherwise. i try to convince myself otherwise. i am such a walking nightmare of contradiction. i operate in a space where everyone thinks im confident and do what i want and have hidden talents etc. but i don’t actually do what i want and im masking this confidence. i am a liar. i am a ruiner. i have lied to everyone ive ever loved, i have tricked them into thinking im someone else. a falsified version of myself, an exoskeleton, idfk. i believe i was born to create. but i also believe i have a much greater power to destroy. i am a ruiner. i am a ruiner. it resonates so deeply within me. maybe that’s buried rage. i want to rend and rip and tear and shred and claw and scrape and scratch and peel and dig my fingers into soft hot warm and pull and pull and pull and pull and pull and pull and pull and pull and feel it running down my hands and arms and

i don’t want to eat. i don’t want to kill. my satisfaction is just in the act.

i don’t want to rage. i don’t want to be angry. i don’t want to have this inside me. i don’t think it’s evil or anything. i just don’t want it. it’s so much energy. it’s too much to keep inside.

|

______

:)

[machine-gun-casie]

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room. 

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends. 

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not. 

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you. 

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry. 

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call? 

“He was with Bob.” 

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park? 

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.” 

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together. 

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.” 

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?” 

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.” 

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpsehusband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fluff #gender neutral reader

[merakiui]

ahhh thank u so much!!!

yeah, my characters aren't built either as i am taking care of that rn and i could not get a single reward because i did not have the patience to try after multiple failures... ( ･ั﹏･ั) timaeus and ying'er were really cute tho!!

you're right, windtrace IS incredible!! so incredible i don't stop playing even after reaching the max amount of points for the day aha...

your experiences sound amazing!! i never thought about that but omg that's true why are the skrunkly man's legs so...long....

as a kaeya main should, i personally flirt with everyone! when people do respond it gets pretty funny, and ive had a few hunters actually spare me because of that (◍•ᴗ•◍) would recommend

i truly think watatsumi island is one of my favorite spots. i tend to stay there a while to enjoy the music and general (aquatic) atmosphere, but again, it sometimes gives off a lonely feeling...(๑•﹏•)

there are so many characters, and so little primos i can spend, it's so hard to decide (´-﹏-`；) i really like miko, and i also tend to pick characters based on their design, personality and voicelines, even if im not the biggest fan of their playstyle, (which is why i tried my luck on ittos banner, tho it didn't work out so well haha), and mikos pretty convincing on those aspects (i'm in loveeee with her!!), but at the same time, i want the anemo boys so much.... (˘･_･˘) especially since kazuha (+ perhaps venti?) might not be back for a while afterwards.... i guess i'll wait to see more about yae's kit before making my decision, aha

good day to you!!!!

-still the yanven anon (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Hello again, yanven anon!! ( ◠‿◠ ) Would you perhaps like to choose an anon name for yourself or would you like to be known as yanven anon? Oh! But don’t feel obligated to name yourself if you don’t want to. ;;; I would just like to know what to call you in case you drop by the inbox again!

I think any type of event that involves fighting or reaching a certain score/time while fighting is difficult for me. I can only go for the bare minimum of rewards, but it’s okay because I’m content with getting what I can get. But those type of events motivate me when it comes to building characters! I’ve been slacking on gathering the materials needed to crown Aether. orz One of these days he will take three of my thirteen crowns…

Windtrace is fun because sometimes I feel very big brain with my strategies and hiding spots and other times I feel very foolish when I’m the first one caught. Although it is very enjoyable to talk to other players! Having a conversation about Childe’s legs was unexpected but not unwelcome. It was funny discussing his legs while the hunter struggled to find us.

Omg you’re a Kaeya main!! If we ever cross paths in Windtrace, I’ll make sure to return your flirting no matter what! And you’re so right about how some areas of Watatsumi feel lonely and quiet. I’m always so caught up in how pretty it is, so I never notice that it can actually feel desolate at times.

I can understand the struggle of wanting so many characters. That was how I felt with how much wishing I did. It felt like one character after another without any breaks. I was so worried I’d run out of wishes lol. I also choose characters based on design and personality or if they have captured my heart over time. It took three banners for me to finally give into Childe…

I would recommend Kazuha!! He’s very fun and I love his design so much. Autumn is a pretty season, so as soon as I saw it was part of his design and skill… I had to wish. He’s also very sweet. I like listening to his voice lines! But Yae also has a beautiful design, so I’m sure she’ll be very good as a playable character! I hope you won’t struggle with your decision too much.

Aside from that, please also have a wonderful day!!!

#chit chat #aaa you should get venti too #he seems fun to play from what i’ve seen #so many characters :( not enough primogems #good luck with deciding who to pull for when that time comes #yanven anon

[sansang]

HELLO MY LOVE OMG OMG IM SO SORRY FOR THIS LATE REPLY i saw your message about you being tired and all before and i really wanted to send a cheer up message but i had all my important exams this week ive been so busy TT but omg are you okay now? still feeling tired?

i hope you dont mind me calling you love since idk you feel younger than me hehehehehe

hmmm est time huh i used to live in Seattle too before for two years but oohhh its soo cool that even you are desi!!!

and yes yes yes you right!! they have like their own genre and touch it all their songs no matter what genres they are! tbh even their sad songs puts a smile on my face for me!

ooh yeah i used to learn traditional dance too since you are desi you might know i used to learn Bharatanatyam. originally i used to learn hip hop when i was around 4 or 5 but my mom made me switch to classical and i ended up hating dance -_- in the end i quite by the age of 9.

man they must practice for houuuuuuuuuuuuuurs for so many people to fall into such a crazy sync. i remember in road to kingdom how veri very specifically chose svt over nct so that they could show their strength in dancing and synchronization!

ooh i'll def listen to these recs after my maths exam since lmao im actually not uspposed to be using the laptop rn cus welp maths doesnt need any studying from devices

asdghjkl thats a cool fic idea tbh then ill try writing something around that instead so that you like it!!!

oooh ateez i dont stan them but i love the dudes they are so hilarious and i love love love wonderland!!! its sooooo goood!!!!! tbh they deserved to win kingdom along with the boyz tho i stan skz too TT

im sorry if this ask is very short exams have taken up so much of my time TT

HIIII IM ALSO SOSOSO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY ;; how are you anon :o ? ive also been extremely busy with school work and have not slept bc of it 😵‍💫 I hope your exams went well !!

I’m fine with you calling me that !! i probably am younger than you tbh- im on the vvv younger side for caratblr I think :,) and omg how did you like seattle ?? desi carats B) I ALSO USED TO LEARN BHARATANATYAM WOWOWOWOW- im sorry to hear that you ended up hating it 😔 i quit bc i decided to prioritize competitive swim over dance and honestly just did not enjoy it at all as well. i do wanna learn hip hop tho ;;;;

woaaah i did not know that :o thats so cool that veri very chose svt for that reason !! glad to see them be continuously recognized for their amazing performance skills :] onnn the topic of svt, ive literally been using their and ateez’: songs to keep me sane when completing my schoolwork it’s so bad 😭 i think I would have gone mad if I didn’t have it to ease my mind tbh. listening to vocal unit songs while studying is >>>> also also also i hope you enjoyed those recs hehehe (if u got to them yet !! if not, no worries :>)

ateez is known for their humor atp- literally so unpredictable but predictable it’s funny 😋 wonderland is a god tier song very excellent choice I must say 😼 I THO. DO RECOMMEND WONDERLAND SYMPHONY NO.9 !! it’s an elevated version of wonderland and I literally can’t go back to just listening to reg wonderland bc I love the elevated ver sosososososo much- it rlly pretty but also powerful and the performance is so well done too ;;;;

I’m excited to read my gift <33333 AND KNOW YOU TOO !! it’s been so fun to talk to you and I hope we continue this :D and don’t be sorry about the length of the asks, i completely understand !! whether short or long, i love and cherish them either way since they came from you :] <33

#anon.txt #sansang asks #carat admirer 💎 #EXCITED TO KNOW WHO U ARE ANON <333

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

#lord boros #geryuganshoop #groribas #melzalgald #dark matter thieves #opm #i put way too much thought into this after not thinking abt them in a long while #it was fun tho #Anonymous

[sapphic-sex-ed]

(Relationship anon) Ok so this is probably gonna be super long but ive never been more lost in my entire life so: basically i met my first ever gf in May but we’ve been officially dating since July. Everything was absolutely perfect like it was movie-like passion and at first she was unsure and sent me lots of mixed messages but then i told her about my feelings and she agreed to date. Cue a beautiful summer of amazing sex and sweet romantic moments hell we even met each other’s parents (1/?)

(2/?) Then two weeks ago we went on holidays together like our first 48h or so together. And we had a GREAT time at least the first day. Then the second she acted all... off. Assured me it was nothing and not my fault. I stopped asking. Cue to me receiving a text 3 days later telling me ‘hey in fact i didn’t like two things you said. Sorry I couldn’t tell you irl I can never talk about my feelings’. I got... really worried and mad and confused bc the things in questions were no big deals but

(3/?) I still apologized and she recognized they were tuny things and that she doesn’t understand why she reacted that badly. Cue to us trying to resolve this thru texts back and forth for days with no results. I propose we meet irl bc i hate talking thru texts especially about serious matters. On Monday I go there we finally talk she repeats the same things assures me she is not mad at me and that it’s not the first time shes reacted that way in a relationship and that she doesn’t feel

The same as before. I ask about what? She replies everything I say me included? She kinda agrees but « she still wants me close » but she’s not sure about dating. I react... badly bc i am still very much in love with her and she told me was too so how did Two awkward remarks ruin the love she had for me? She relies she doesn’t know that she hates herself. After a painfully apathetic discussion we come to the conclusion we take « a break ». I then leave her home in a hurry bc i don’t wanna (4/?)

(5/?) cry in front of her. She says her biggest fear is hurting me I reply congrats you did bc i am so fucking hurt. we agree she would tell me on Sunday if she wants to ‘try again’ or not. And ive just been so fucking lost since bc she told me aaalll summer ‘i love you sm im afraid you’re gonna leave any minute ive never been happier than with you’ etc and it took one (1) minor argument for her to bail... her friends tell her she can’t have a serious relationship. And i know she’s dated

I waited with replying to this because I thought there were more parts coming, but there’s nothing in our inbox. Tumblr might have eaten it. I’ll respond to this tho.

First of anon, I’m sorry you’re in this situation, it dousn’t seem fun at all. 

Secondly, none of this lies with you. 

She was the one telling you she loved you all summer. She was the one not communicating properly when something bothered her. She was the one who either stopped loving you the same because of two remarks, or is lying to you about that. She is the one with a history of not doing well in relationships.

I don’t know your ages. If she’s young it can have to do with immaturity. But it can also be, regardless of age, that she has an insecure attachment style or even some issues with mental health. Neither of those make her a bad person, by the way. But it can be reassuring to know that you are not to blame here. If she’s just immature she’ll hopefully grow out of it. If it’s the attachment or mental health she can seek counseling and work on herself. 

But you aren’t to blame for her actions or emotions. You just had bad luck. 

If she decides she wants to try again, there are some things you should keep in mind. 1) Do you wan’t to go through this again? She’s said herself this is a pattern for her, it’s likely it’ll happen again. 2) Do you feel you could be comfortable in a relationship with her after this? 3) If you take her back and this happens again, will you be able to leave? 

I wish you the best of luck, anon

-mod liz

#mod liz #relationship advice #cw negative self talk #Anonymous

[wildgeese2017]

You: what makes you happy?

Stranger: His smile

You: thats so nie

You: nice

Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while

You: :(

Stranger: What makes you happy?

You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself

You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts

You: like his smile

You: i dont know how to make sense of it all

Stranger: I feel you

Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts

You: it scares me

Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time

Stranger: You always think you will have more

Stranger: Until you don’t

You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me

You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud

You: like i dont know what gods means to me

You: what does it mean to you?

Stranger: I try to trust in him

Stranger: But the faith is being tested

Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god

You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false

You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness

You: do you have anything you wanted to say

You: like why you are on this platform

Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on

Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum

You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused

Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it

You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified

Stranger: For everyone

You: yeh i think so too

You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you

Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal

You: im 20

Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄

You: thx

Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s

Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out

You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho

You: i think being confused is the whole point

Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose

Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts

Stranger: Love*

You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth

You: yes i think so too

You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss

Stranger: You should write a book about it

Stranger: Or poems

You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited

You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft

Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)

You: how do u express urself?

You: :)

Stranger: I dance

You: <3

Stranger: I’m a dancer

You: thats so wonderful

Stranger: Not good with words

You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off

Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside

You: that sounds nice

You: what kind of music do u like?

Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart

You: :(

Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after

You: in a good or bad way?

Stranger: Glues*

You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people

Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again

You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable

Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks

Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces

You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other

Stranger: Same

You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love

Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back

You: are you in love with him?

Stranger: I am

You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?

Stranger: I’ve been in love once before

Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone

Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy

Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew

You: that must hav been terrifying

Stranger: Took me 5years tho

Stranger: To fall like this again

Stranger: It was

Stranger: In it’s ironic way

Stranger: And it still is

You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts

Stranger: You know what?

Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!

You: huh i never thought of it that way

You: maybe it was god

Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date

Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of

Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄

Stranger: And when he did time stopped

Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling

You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?

Stranger: It’s …

Stranger: How can I say this

Stranger: He was a surprise

Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good

You: did you feel like you had met before?

Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy

You: so he suprised you

Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha

You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing

You: is he kind?

Stranger: He was

You: is he not anymore?

Stranger: Sadly no

You: :(

Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me

You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)

You: oh

Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship

You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again

Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago

Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore

You: did you know him long before ?

Stranger: Three months

Stranger: Not that long

Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him

Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity

You: that sound so difficult

Stranger: I miss him terribly:)

You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new

Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once

Stranger: Be protective of your energy

Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!

Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it

Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it

You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be

Stranger: Yea and no

Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am

Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first

Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you

You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you

Stranger: Exactly!

Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had

You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth

Stranger: Thank you

You: thank you too

You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud

You: *scary

Stranger: True

Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier

You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same

You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself

Stranger: I know exactly what you mean

Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)

Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough

Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough

You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me

You: yeh :(

You: why cant we all help each other more

Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest

You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time

You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone

Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains

Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person

Stranger: You deserve happiness

You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too

You: you too

You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me

Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately

Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz

You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?

Stranger: Expensive *

You: where do they go?

Stranger: ALWAYS !

You: what do they feel?

Stranger: That’s none of your business

Stranger: Let them find their own way

You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity

Stranger: You don’t have to guide them

You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other

You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish

Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy

Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way

Stranger: Be brave

Stranger: Can’t stress that enough

You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people

Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?

You: since they arent in my control

You: no but all my friends love it

You: its on my list loll

Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :

Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive

Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday

Stranger: Once you get a taste of love

Stranger: It’s like a drug

Stranger: Love*

You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me

You: love is so scary

You: its too much

Stranger: Me and him …

Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet

Stranger: :)

Stranger: And that calms me

You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love

You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever

You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore

Stranger: Don’t worry too much

Stranger: Just truly be yourself

You: thanks i will try too

You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy

Stranger: Damn

You: like im so happy but its never enough

You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit

Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question

You: loll

Stranger: What makes you happy

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: You know what I just realized

You: wot :0

Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways

Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else

Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior

You: thats so real

You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others

Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands

Stranger: So controversial

Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol

You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way

You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together

Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too

Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too

You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be

Stranger: You will learn to

You: i hope so

You: i think thats the point

Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself

You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson

You: but it seems like its always repeating

You: like why haven't we learned it yet

You: like we're all one soul

You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting

You: idk i know we only hav the present

You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it

You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture

Stranger: Relax 😄

Stranger: It’s not all that serious

Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way

Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!

Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally

You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again

Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it

You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust

Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself

You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.

Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol

You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£

You: <3

Stranger: That’s what I wish you too

Stranger: From the bottom of my heart

You: :-)

Stranger: Take care strangee

You: u 2 :-)

Stranger: Stranger*

[dbssh]

*PLEASE* tell me more about Daniel...

OH MAN i dont know a lot about what to say im just!!!! thinking about him so much. i said that i wouldnt go too in-depth with him because hes supposed to be just for funsies but im stupid so! ive been sketching out something of a plot for him & fifteen nd them Bonding and Escaping The Evil Laboratory Together and ive just been thinking about them like. living together after its all over n trying to live a normal life even when theyre all like. fucked up. idk but!!! because im rambling im gonna go into a list of random facts so i can try to stay a lil organized.

for a bit, Daniel just has the big mouth on his face and he can't really speak with it for a lot of reasons, so Fifteen teaches him sign! at first he just learns fingerspelling and spells out every word, and thats fine for a bit! but once theyre out daniel prefers to use sign in public because he tries to cover his face and neck as much as possible, and speech just doesnt... feel all that natural or comfortable with the second mouth anyways, so they both end up learning a lot more!

after they get out, daniel very impulsively rips off his number, which is a peice of cloth (or something? idk) the doctor actually like, sewed onto his skin, so that was probably not a smart move on his part. but later he gets a tattoo around the scar. i havent decided what of yet, but yeah.

fifteen actually leaves hers on! shes okay with her name being a number because like, shes never had any other name and she doesnt really like. give a shit what people call her. so for her its just a fun little name tag!

before everything happened, Daniel used to play guitar! he gets back into it after they get out as a sort of stress relief/distraction. he's not great but thats not really what matters.

he gets back into fishing, too! he doesnt hunt anymore, and he never keeps the fish he catches, he just finds it calming. sometimes he just doesnt put any bait on the hook and he'll just sit there for like. hours. just chillin. being by the water is nice, too.

they tried living in an apartment in the city for a bit but the noise and all the people around was just. so overwhelming for daniel. he spent most of his time inside and didnt ever go anywhere or do anything unless he absolutely had to. so as soon as they had the money to they got a place further into the countryside, near a smaller town. i still havent really decided like, where the fuck they are but dont worry about it. maybe like the midwest or the south or something. idk

fifteen gets into puzzles and video games! she finds an old console and absolutely slams through all the games she can get her hands on. she loves turn-based strategy games and also minecraft :D. she also eventually learns about online shooter games like overwatch and tf2 and. she is so fucking good at them. gamer gf.

fifteen is also super hyped to learn about fashion!!! she didnt wear clothes in the facility because she didnt have any and didnt see the need for any because she doesnt have like, boobs or anything. but when she learns that clothes can just be worn because theyre colourful and fun? she goes ham. she loves big long skirts and colourful t-shirts and anything brightly coloured. never shoes tho, she doesnt like them.

that said her fashion isnt like. good persay. yknow that post about how femmes all dress like miss frizzle? she does that but with slightly less coordination.

daniel doesnt have good fashion sense either sjdbdhdh hes a redneck butch at heart. genuinely owns at least one pair of camo cowboy boots, 90% of his wardrobe is denim.

their house is very sparsely decorated but at the same time very odd. like the few things they have are all things that they really, really liked and since neither of them have Normal or Good taste, they have some very uh. questionable decorations. basically just scroll thru shiftythrifting for a while and u will understand the vibe.

neither of them have cell phones. not for any real reason just. they dont have anyone to call. they dont need or want social media. if they really need something they can use the computer or the landline.

fifteen is very monotone with a pretty non-expressive face and she mostly just looks kinda o_o all the time.

daniel on the other hand is expressive to the point where he's embarrased about it, even when its harder to tell with his weird face. he's usually just like. in a state of mild crankiness but when its just him and fives he actually like. idk shes very calming for him in a way that is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

their home is usually very quiet! daniel doesnt speak a ton and fifteen is okay with that, and neither of them are really that big on music, preferring just to let it be quiet. its especially nice once they live near the river.

daniel has a lot of issues with chronic pain from his teeth, which just kind of. keep growing, all the time. once they get to the point where its like, he cant close his mouth anymore, then it becomes a problem that they actually have to like, Do Something about. (the doctors solution was to just rip out all his teeth every few years. obviously he's not too keen on that.) they end up just filing them down which still sucks and is difficult and annoying but. u gotta do what u gotta do yknow

i still dont know how but they do figure out a way to kiss that is good and comfortable for both of them. theyre not like, super outwardly fluffy and affectionate all the time but. they do still have their moments of softness

#ramble romble #OH NOOOO THIS WAS SO LOOONG I JUST #their life together... i am thinking abt it #asks #oc: daniel #oc: fifteen #aprilcruelsday #TY TRUCK!!!!

[olaf-likeswarmhugs]

A Word For Us || Soft

Summary: June 21-22: Olaf comes out to Sindri! And then Sindri starts to learn more about himself too! Good golly gosh, we love kids figuring it out. 

@huldufolk-hjarn

June 21, 2020

Olaf [deleted]: hi sindri u can ignore this since ur working but um hi!!

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri do you have some time to talk about someth

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri so i was googling

Olaf:  👋 ☃️ 🤗

Sindri: olaffffff

Sindri: hi

Olaf: hi!

Olaf [deleted]: wow ive forgotten how to talk to u like a normal person loooosflkj

Olaf: how's pixie's! is your shift going well? :)

Sindri: it's kinda slow right now

Sindri: im sitting here on a stool drying glasses lol

Sindri: so fun

Sindri: how's your day

Olaf: ah i know you're kidding but i love drying glasses

Olaf: i like the sound the glasses make, the little rubby sound? from the towel

Olaf: squeaky clean!

Sindri: like the squeak

Olaf: yes exactly

Olaf: and then arranging them in rows

Sindri: i had one that wasn't squeaky i should wash it again

Olaf: you should, customers deserve squeaky clean glasses

Sindri: yeah they do

Sindri: i was thinking about making myself one of those sodas we discovered last time

Sindri: like the regular soda water with the grenadine?

Olaf: ooooh

Olaf: yeah thats delicious

Sindri: i think peri might be starting to wonder where all her grenadine is going haha

Olaf: oh well dont have too much now

Sindri: i've had like three

Olaf: hmm that seems like enough

Olaf: though maybe we should get a soda water maker

Olaf: then we could make our own, they sell those you know

Olaf: we can order it online

Olaf: we can soda-fy any drink then, i think it'd be great for parties

Sindri: really?

Sindri: i thought it was a thing only bars had and like also places that make soda obviously

Olaf: no, you can get one for your home! and an espresso machine

Olaf: we should get an espresso machine too

Sindri: we should because then we wouldn't have to spend so much money on coffee

Olaf: well we would still have to buy the coffee for the machine but probably cheaper in the long run!

Olaf: really there are a lot of fun kitchen appliances we could get

Olaf: a waffle maker for example

Olaf: oh i saw a donut pan that was very cool

Olaf: there's a handheld smoothie maker but i think its better to just use the blender so you can make more smoothie

Sindri: i watched a video that showed how many soups you can make when you have a food processor which i think is just a bigger fancier blender but i like soups

Olaf: i saw a special kind of cutting device that slices an apple though into six equal pieces!

Sindri: i think my favorite food is soup

Olaf: soup is very good

Olaf: soups and stews

Sindri: yeah they remind me of home

Sindri: but waffles are good too

Sindri: if we made waffles we could decorate them

Olaf: yes! i love waffles because each hole can have something different

Olaf: like a little presennt

Olaf: likea  jellybean, or a peanut

Sindri: you want to put jellybeans on your waffles?

Olaf: well that was just an example but im sure it would taste good

Olaf: i like jellybeans and i like waffles

Sindri: jellybeans get stuck in my teeth

Olaf: sindri i also like you as a friend

Olaf: my best friend

Sindri: i like you as a friend too

Sindri: yeah you're my best friend

Sindri: are you okay?

Olaf: yes

Olaf: i was just doing some googling

Olaf: Google as you know is very useful. It answers almost every single question ive ever had since moving here

Sindri: yeah i love google

Olaf: yeah

Olaf [deleted]: i don't know if ive ever really told you but i think i worry about a lot of things. i dont like talking about it because i dont want everyone to worry about /me/ because then id just worry more about how im worrying everyone else but wow this is nonsense ANYWAY i have been really worried about...myself and feeling like something is wrong with me because

Olaf: i dont know if i ever told you this but for a long time, ive sort of felt something was wrong with me. it started when we began to date, but not because of anything you did, i think that was just the first time i realized i really wasn't like everyone else. at least i didnt feel the way everyone wanted me to feel or expected me to feel. and it was really awful, i just thought i was a big fake the whole time, like a liar almost, and then of course we broke up because i was so bad at it and everything but i still felt that awful feeling anyway.  and i just didnt know why and its never gone away  so i googled it today and googled and googled and i think i found the thing that explains me better than anything else and i think its important that i tell you what that is and im really nervous!!!!!!! look an emoji  🎈

Sindri [deleted]: we didn't break up because you were bad at anything

Sindri: there are a lot of things i want to say but im going to wait until you say your thing

Sindri: also i love emojis :)

Sindri: 🦆

Olaf: right, they're very comforting 🐭

Sindri: oh and please don't be nervous

Sindri: you can tell me anything

Olaf: im very nervous

Olaf: im even texting u and i know thsi should be an in person conversation ahha

Sindri: i think sometimes texting can make things easier to say

Sindri: it isn't like you're avoiding an in person conversation either because we live together lol

Sindri: im sure we will also talk about whatever it is in person

Olaf: right yes probably

Olaf: okay!

Olaf: so um yeah! humans have a lot of words for things and i think the word that fits me best is aromantic....ta-da!!  🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

Olaf: it means i dont experience romantic attraction. because i never have, never, i dont' know why and i dont like dating like, i dont want to be anyone's boyfriend it makes me feel gross

Olaf: but i do want to be your best friend

Olaf: i was talking to finn and i said something that felt true but also kind of like i was contradicting myself? i dont know, feelings are very confusing but basically i said that you're my right person

Olaf: and i think thats still true even tho i dont want to date you and i dont mean that like i am in love with you or anything because im not and egjaldkf that feels mean to say but im trying to say that i really love you sindri and i never want to date you but you are more special to me than my other friends

Olaf: see it sounds like im contradicting myself

Olaf: also like im rejecting u when u didnt even ask me out so!!! sorry oh frosty

Sindri: i love you too olaf

Sindri: you'll always be my best friend

Sindri: always no matter what

Sindri: you're my right person too and i think i kind of get it

Sindri: not completely but i want to learn and i will look up that word but i don't think you're mean or fake or anything like that

Olaf: are you sure because i just read over those texts and it felt mean

Sindri: i don't feel insulted or rejected really

Olaf: I just want you to know it isnt you

Olaf: i used to think i was just rejecting you or something but the idea of dating anyone really is gross for me. like i dont want to ever stop being your roommate though iknow we probably will stop eventually

Sindri: im kind of sad you felt like a fake and a liar though

Sindri: why would we stop

Sindri: i don't want to stop being your roommate ever either

Olaf: well if you ever enter into a promise with someone

Olaf: you know, if you fall in love

Olaf: i probably wont be yoru roommate then. which is okay!

Sindri: but you're my right person

Sindri: when we were apart i was really sad a lot because i missed you

Sindri: and now that you're here im happy a lot of the time

Sindri: i don't want to be somewhere you aren't that sounds stupid to me

Olaf: i dont either. though we wouldnt be far or anything i mean if we stay here in swynlake we'd probably still be in the same town. i just dont want you to... um...not move on? I dont know if thats what you're doing idk sorry i feel like im making a lot of assumptions right now

Olaf: i dont want to hold you back if you fall in love with someone else

Olaf: thats all

Sindri: can i ask u a question

Olaf: yes

Sindri: is it okay if im a little bit in love with you? i mean..i'm not saying i want to date you or be your boyfriend because i don't want to do anything you don't want to do and i want us to be us and honestly im not even sure what being in lvoe is i guess except that i like you most and i like everything we do and that's the way i know how to say that

Sindri: i just say that with like

Sindri: zero expectations from it except you just being my friend for as long as you want to be

Sindri: sorry

Sindri: i probably shouldn't have said that

Sindri: i hope it didn't make you feel gross

Olaf: it only makes me upset if i think about somehow letting you down which i think is sort of my problem not your problem, which i realized recently too

Olaf: i just worry about a lot of things sindri

Olaf: i worry more than you might think i worry haha, i just worry that one day you'll decide that being my best friend isnt enough for you

Sindri: i will never decide that

Sindri: i love you as a person way more than i am "in love" with you which the more i think about it is a stupid concept anyway like what does it even mean

Sindri: when i say it it just means you are my favorite person

Olaf: i mean i mean that too but im not in love with you

Olaf: i dont know bc i dont feel it

Olaf: so maybe what you feel is or isnt love...i dunno sometimes i think romance is a game people play ahha i dunno

Sindri: i don't know how people date people they don't really know

Olaf: well i dont get what makes it a date

Sindri: ....wow

Sindri: me either

Olaf: because i could go out with lots of strangers and get to know them but i wouldnt call it dates id just call it...uh...getting to know a new friend haha

Olaf: like you went on dates with nemo when you moved here if u think about it

Olaf: except you didnt

Olaf: i dont know

Sindri: yeah

Olaf: i guess if people want to kiss at the end

Sindri: yeah maybe

Olaf: i just dont want you to lie to me

Olaf: like i did sort of lie to you for a little sindri and i am so sorry i did but i dont want to lie anymore so if you say that you're in love thats okay it is

Sindri: yeah i think maybe being honest about feelings is a really good idea for us

Sindri: because i don't want you to feel uncomfortable ever

Olaf: and i really dont want to hurt you

Sindri: i don't think you will but i will let you know if it ever happens

Sindri: im being really honest when i tell you that i only want what you want i will never feel like i'm missing out as long as you are my best friend okay

Sindri: i don't want dates and a boyfriend i don't feel like im missing out on that stuff

Sindri: i mean i guess i could theoretically want it but i don't miss it

Sindri: i feel complete without it

Olaf: okay. im gonna work really hard to believe that

Olaf: it might take me some time but thats because i think i still dont feel uh... enough i guess

Olaf: but we promised we wouldnt lie to each other so if you tell me thast what you want i believe you

Sindri: also i know it's not my place to say but you are enough i promise you are so great and anyone who knows you is lucky to have you in their lives. i'm so lucky you are my best friend olaf.

Olaf: well i dunno why you wouldnt think its your place to say as my best friend you should compliment me thank you  x3

Olaf: but i know you mean that

Olaf: and im lucky too

Sindri: thank you for telling me all this stuff

Olaf: thank you for listening

Olaf: and not hating me haha

Sindri: lol peri might hate me because i took a long break oops

Sindri: but i'll see you in a couple hours okay?

Sindri: i'm going to give you the best hug ever!

Sindri: it'll be almost like an olaf hug

Sindri: maybe

Olaf: oh oops

Sindri: idk i'll try

Olaf: haha im sure it will be even better than an olaf hug

Olaf: it will be a sindri hug ^.^

Sindri: :)

Olaf: we can maybe talk more when you come home too, if you want

Sindri: okay

Sindri: i think i'm going to look stuff up too when i'm drying glasses

Sindri: just so im prepared

Olaf: yeah! you can ask me questions

Olaf: though im still learning too haha

 June 22, 2020 

Olaf: hi sindri, i found more words!

Sindri: haha yeah?

Olaf: yeah xPPP

Olaf: there are lots of fun ones humans have a great sense of humour

Olaf: like wtfromantic ahha that made me laugh

Sindri: what does that mean

Olaf: WELL

Olaf: "a romantic orientation in the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate platonic from romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore aren't sure if they experience it"

Olaf: im glad there's a word for it and that word isnt stupid haha

Sindri: oh hey i like that one

Sindri: i think that one makes a lot of sense

Sindri: i've been thinking about like

Sindri: the line or whatever and it feels really arbitrary to me

Sindri: like what makes something a date? or not a date? you know

Olaf: exactly!!!!

Olaf: tho ive never felt any um, i dunno anything different for anyone so

Sindri: oh like where you want to "date" them

Olaf: right or like

Olaf: butterflies

Olaf: people talk about butterflies and i never get them for other people. i get flutters for other things

Olaf: like when im excited for an event you know?

Sindri: yeah

Sindri: i've been looking at stuff too

Olaf: oh have u also found words i have a list of words here but you can go next if you want

Sindri: no i want to know what your words are first

Olaf: well this next one is fun, it's squish

Olaf: guess what that means

Sindri: is it like a crush

Sindri: it sounds nicer than a crush lol

Olaf: yeah!

Olaf: its wanting to be friends with someone i guess, like, really badly

Olaf: i actually dont think ive had squishes either haha

Olaf: i mean! i want to be lots of people's friends but

Sindri: oh that's cool

Sindri: wow i love my new words so far

Sindri: squish is just a really cute one

Olaf: yeah i think its a very cute word x3

Olaf: There's also aesthetic attraction! which just means liking how someone looks, which is different than romantic or sexual attraction

Sindri: i found that one too

Sindri: i've been trying to figure myself out actually

Sindri: and that one was something i think i relate to a lot

Olaf: oooh wow im glad these words are helping you too

Olaf: yes i think i definitely understand aesthetic attraction.

Olaf: i actually think i might be asexual too? which is pretty crazy because i like sex but apparently thats not mutually exclusive!

Olaf: people shoudl really teach a class on this stuff

Sindri: it was also weird because it made me realize that when people say they are attracted to other people it means they actually want to have sex with them

Sindri: a lot of the time

Olaf: i KNOW

Sindri: that's CRAZY

Olaf: i dont not want to have sex with people? i dont know, i just dont think about it

Olaf: but if i think someone is pretty my first thought isnt oh lets have sex

Sindri: i never mean that when i say someone is attractive like i never look at a person and like want them to YES

Sindri: wow

Olaf: wow frosty!

Olaf: we have that in common haha

Sindri: i'll tell you one of my words

Olaf: yes! 

Sindri: demisexual

Olaf: oh i saw that one!

Sindri: it's where you only feel sexual attraction to someone you have an emotional connection to already

Sindri: i think that's me

Olaf: ah that sounds like you

Olaf: what a beautiful sindri word

Sindri: thank you

Olaf: i think i read another word for us

Olaf: did you come across queerplatonic?

Sindri: no

Olaf: oh!

Olaf: its a good one haha

Olaf: i mean i think so

Olaf: its kind of hard to describe exactly im still reading about it but uhhhh okay maybe i'll just link you

Olaf: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_Relationship

Olaf:it kind of sounds like some promises, you know? though most promises are romantic

Sindri: oh hey

Sindri: wow this really does seem like an us word

Olaf: yeah doesnt it!

Olaf: like how everyone thought we had to be more than friends

Sindri: yeah which is dumb

Sindri: i really like this one

Sindri: this one makes me feel like

Sindri: idk if feels right

Olaf: yeah i dont feel as stupid anymore haha

Olaf: if other people are like us, i mean

Olaf: maybe not exactly like us

Sindri: well it even says there are lots of ways they can be

Sindri: which is cool

Sindri: like if it makes sense to the people in the relationship that's how it is it's about being open and being comfortable

Olaf: yeah each one has different rules apparently

Sindri: i also think it's kind of silly that like friendships are apparently "not as intense" as romantic relationships which i guess is why this exists right

Olaf: yeah i think so

Olaf: though its confusing still because some articles say its asexual and other ones say that there can be sex

Olaf: but that goes back to teh different rules thing

Olaf: i think each one must be like a snowflake

Sindri: yeah i think it is about what the people in them want

Sindri: are we

Sindri: or like

Sindri: i don't know i think maybe if i wanted to define our relationship i might want to use that word

Sindri: which is something we would totally have to talk about

Olaf: i think id like that

Olaf: i just have always wanted to be your best friend forever which sounds so silly and childish but i dunno

Olaf: maybe we dont need all the words for it but maybe we do?

Olaf: or not!

Olaf: haha

Sindri: i want to be your best friend forever too olaf

Sindri: like i mean it

Sindri: i don't ever want to stop being friends with you and when i think about what i want my life to be like you are always in it

Sindri: and maybe having a word would make that easier because we wouldn't feel like we are doing things wrong?

Sindri: even though there isn't a right way

Sindri: but just in terms of other people and maybe feeling pressured to be different? i dont' know

Olaf: i think it would make me feel better about not leading you on or disappointing you and i know you say i dont do those things but it makes me nervous

Sindri: yeah and i would feel better about feeling like i'm accidentally pressuring you

Olaf: yeah

Olaf: we should definitely talk about it

Olaf: there are actually checklists and sheets and stuff hehe its kind of cute

Sindri: aww really?

Olaf: yeah :3

Sindri: when do you want to talk about it

Sindri: do you want to like plan a time

Olaf: oh i was just going to do it whenever you wanted to?

Olaf: if you want we can plan a time

Sindri: i think i would like to talk about it when i see you next so probably tonight haha

Sindri: it feels really good to maybe have a word

Olaf: oh okay! I can print out these worksheets if you want

Olaf: i'll make snacks hehe

Sindri: okay lol i can bring home some of that soup from remys too because we can't just eat SNACKS

Olaf: i do like that soup!

Sindri: good we have a plan then!

#soft #text #soft text #yes i am still posting things a month late #:) would u expect anything less from me

[conchstellations]

watching the 1963 LOTF movie for the first time: my reactions

lets go me!! i wanna watch but i cannot focus on JUST watching a movie and the minecraft server i usually play on is down, so i decided to write my reactions bc ive seen people do it for other movies and why not. also i wanna look back in the furture when i watch again bc why not. pls dont judge me. lets go team

-yo wtf is the choir so creepy when they sing like okay

- piggy is adorable and i’d kill for him

- music when they first arrive on shore: creepy, but that could just be cause i know its boutta go from 0-100 real quick

- we got our first suCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR

- PIGGY’S LAUGH IS SO CUTE IM LEGIT GONNA SOB WHEN HE DIES WTF

- Percival? so cute

- did jack fuckin make em sing as they approached? legend. icon. love the flex.

- i love how sad the choir kids all look. theyre all so fuckin done.

- god pls forgive me for laughing when Simon just fuckin collpased

- god simon is adorable

- imma cRY stop making fun of piggy

- jack just fuckng casually scratching his nose with his knife like okay flex again

- holY SHIT MAN HOW MEAN CAN U BE SIMON WAS LOOKING AT THAT

- stop attacking pigman i stg

- i, myself, as a hermit crab owner, am kinda sad :( leave them alone they are trying to be in sand 

- im gonna cry simon is so cute with his lizard friend i love him sm

- could the plane not see the kids running on the island? maybe im wrong. idk

- i rly wanna hug ralph :( hes so upset about the fire

- yo the whole cult pig chant thing was creepy but when u hear actual kids say it? terrifying. no thanks.

- a+ acting piggy but alos i fuckin love u so its ok

- k fuck u jack. fuck u. also, simon’s voice is so sweet when hes like “here have ur specs” and he hands them over so nicely like God simon ur the best ur so valid sweetie

- jack that was a fake ass apology.

- u better bring em back ralph. he makes his tone a lot nicer with piggy than he does with jack which i appreciate

- ur slurping is fckin nasty. poor piggy. also thank god for simon which i have saud before many times, and will say again many times.

- get em ralph. call that assembly. they suck.

- god, percival is bby. imma pretend that hunter is maurice like in the book and thank the lord for him as well. finally, a hunter does something valid. way to go.

- is that my dumbass squid boy? i love him

- jack shut tf up and stop being mean to piggy challenge

- simon is so precious and whomever said “no” like that does it again imma beat ur ass wtf hes telling the truth. insert that jesus meme here, which applies in many ways.

- jack and ralph argue. again. wow whom the fuck knew. thats all they do jesus they just bicker forever. also, have i said fuck jack rights? because fuck jack rights. piggy has the funmkckin conch

- wow ralph sim n piggy are so valid. love em. cherish em.

- love samneric too, theyre adorable

- ralph is putting jack in his place again and again, whcih is very appreicated and thsank u ralph.

- simon i love u.

- ralph’s smile is orecious af

- no clue why they put the camberly thing in but glad they did bc more piggy content

- oh simon, i love u sm but honey u got a big storm comin

- cue more jack and ralph bickering. also, if i was ralph i would not fumckin climb a mountain with the verified psychopaths but i mean maybe thats just me

- ahhhh.... the corpse

- “boys armed with sticks” THERE WE GO RALPH THATS MY BOI

- i like how dramatic the scene is where jack dips

- siMON

- okay ummmmm lotf is creepy as shit thanks

- choir trying to be tight and kill pigs n shit then go back to singing practice? yeah right losers ur fuckin nerds

- simon pls just go back to ur lizard and ignore the pig pls

- i am not ready 

- love how theres like a grand total of 6 people in ralphs tribe lmao

- go ralph!!! ur so valid sweetie

- ralph i stg... go home... ur vibes are rancid rn

- SIMON FUCJDJIN RUN NOW

- his screaming is so awful... it hurts my heart

- simons body drfiting out while the creepy choir song plays is so sad wtf especially with the glimmer or the creatures or whatever like its just sad

- piggy i love u but we BOTH know that was murder.

- as much as raph sucked for killing simon i wanna give hm a big hug

- mkkay accident? maybe, MAYBE i can get behind. but he was FUCKIN INNOCENT PIGGy

- okay fuck jack rights

- awe pigGY 

- SIMON BUILT THAT SHELTER

- oh wow rock throwing 

- lemme just say: respect ralph rights. hate him for killing simon but u can tell he respects piggy cause when hes yellin at the choir hes all mean but he is nice and tells piggy to wait cause he knows hes worried

- he even gives him the conch to make him feel better!

- FIUCK GET EM RALPH GOD I LOVE U UR SO VALID HUN

- DAMN RIGHT HE IS U TELL EM RALLPH

- u tell em piggy

- okay that was so uncool. who the fuck said that was ok

- OKAY THAT SHOT OF THE BODY BEING TAKEN AWAY WHILE RALPH WATCHES IS SO RUDE

- im sorry for laughing but ralph just seeing what happened and just dipping is so fucjncj funny

- sam and eric are such real ones and i appreciate them as well

- mmkay that cutfrom the coast guard to the island in flames is so funny

- poor percival

- ralph looks so upset. imma cry. like hes legit shking. not ok

aleight i did it. it wa sso sad. i think imma watch the 1990 movie another night cause ibe heard its funny af

ummmm tl;dr, i love simon, i love piggy except for after simons death, jacks a bitch and so i roger, and ralph is valid af. i didnt really see the characters that way in the book, like i imagined ralph was blonde and simon was nothing like that kid, no matter how cute he was. good movie tho!!!!

thats about it. if u read this idk why u did but thank u. if u wanna know where i watched just look up google drive lord of the flies and its there for free! ;000 

#lotf #lord of the flies #wow good movie i liked it #pointless comments i make here u go

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

#lucy plays skyrim

[solarsystem69]

Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)

(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really) 

we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely  " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her  but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.

Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"

Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf. 

(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)

Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik)  we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants,  getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.

im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu. 

Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :) 

[apathetic-revenant]

(1/8) hey, this isn't a hate message, i promise. i'm one of the people who is mad about GO and i want to assure you that it's not because i don't want ace representation. if you write a book about ace characters, that's awesome. i hope you do. i hope more people do.

(2/8) i'm frustrated with neil because i feel like he's just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks at this point re: any possible label that isn't Gay, and i feel like he's dehumanizing aroace (and agender) ppl in the process with his reasoning of "they're not humans! they don't have sex, or genders!"

(3/8) obviously that's a matter of opinion. im personally uncomfortable with ppl using "they're [identity] Because they're not human" logic about identities that aren't their own. but i'm not going to tell you how You should feel about that, just telling you where at least one other person is coming from re: not being happy about that tweet.  

(4/8) if he really wanted to write them as aroace, frankly i think he should have come forward from the start and said "ive realized This is the label that fits these characters and this is how the show is going to go!" and also not had moments like characters mockingly suggesting that they're dating.     

(5/8) it also doesn't help that the book itself is full of "mildly" homophobic digs at crowley and aziraphale's expense. i think you're right that the 30 years of fan interpretation has played a big part in this, but i also think it was irresponsible of neil not to address that head-on.                                            

(6/8) tldr i for one would never be upset by ace characters in a story that is clearly marketed as an Ace Story, or at least one that isn't marketed as a Gay Story (unless of course it's both). not that Good Omens was necessarily marketed as gay (tho thats a gray area i think) but i'm trying to more specifically address what you're worried about re: your own work.                

(7/8) I promise this isn't new, and I promise people successfully navigate it, and you can too. Representation is always going to be tricky, because there's a lot of us jostling for what feels like limited space. I'm a creator myself and I worry about things like this all the time.            

(8/8) At the end of the day all any of us can do is tell our stories, and try to be responsible about the way we present them, and the way we respond to fans who interpret them a little differently than we intended. There is space out there for all of us, it's just hard to really Feel that when we're the ones who have to carve it out          

well dude, you can feel however you feel about it. I don’t much feel up to the task of trying to convince anyone otherwise this morning. I’ve already expressed my feelings about why I agree with the stance he took on this and there’s no sense repeating myself.

although, I will say, Neil didn’t say “they’re aroace because they’re not human.” he didn’t say they were aroace at all. he said he didn’t want to explicitly define their relationship in human terms because they’re not human, but that he wanted to allow them to be read as having that kind of relationship by people who felt that way about them. also, I remember a couple things in the book that didn’t age well, sure--that Neil apologized for and said he wasn’t including in the show because of that--but “full of mildly homophobic slurs” seems a bit of a reach.

but I gotta tell you, it doesn’t make me feel a lot better to know that it’s okay to write ace characters as long as they’re in clearly labelled Ace Stories. because ace stories are great, but mostly what I want to write, and to read and to watch, are stories that happen to have ace characters in them. and I want to write, and read and watch, stories where characters can have strong and important relationships that aren’t romantic, and aren’t treated as being less important because of that.

how clearly do I have to label my stories as Ace Stories to make them okay? what if I write a story set in a setting where that label doesn’t exist as we know it? do I put a disclaimer at the front? a sticker on the cover? if you don’t find out the character is ace until late in the story because it wasn’t marketed to you as an ace story, is that a betrayal?

what if I write characters who are not ace but who have strong platonic relationships with each other? when does that become a problem? how do I portray that without ever, possibly, hinting to anyone that they’re in love? do I make them stay six feet away at all times and never say anything nice to each other? do I have to stop in the middle of the plot and have them have a conversation where they affirm that they are not attracted to each other? because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being on tumblr, it’s that what I think comes off as romantic and what other people think is romantic very often have little overlap.

I’m concerned about writing characters who are ace, but someone doesn’t like that and thinks they shouldn’t have been ace because they don’t think the character acts like an ace person should, or has chemistry with another character, or is too much fun to write sexy fanfic about, or they just don’t believe ace people exist at all. I’m concerned about writing characters who were meant to be ace, but someone decides I didn’t define that in clear enough terms for them, or that I led them on by not making it clear enough from the outset even if there was no reason for it to come up in the story until it did. I’m concerned about writing characters who are not ace, but who I did not intend to be in a relationship, and then being told that uh, actually they clearly are in a relationship and I didn’t make it canon because at best I was too clueless to see it and at worst because I’m a queerbaiting coward.

I’m not going to let that stop me, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

but thank you for being polite about it.

#asks #please don't send me more asks telling me why Neil Gaiman did things wrong #I'd like to go think about something else for a while #Anonymous

[frankensteindotpdf]

69-💯 ask meme GO

oh god here we go. under the cut

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

ambivert tbh...i usually spend a lot of time being alone or being with people and after too long i crave the opposite.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nope. almost once but my mom said it was too expensive

71. What makes you nervous?

every single thing ever. legit just...everything. Being in a car. Talking to people. Not hearing from people. Eating. Not eating. Watching my nephews. Letting their parents watch them instead. Wearing clothes that make me look good. Wearing clothes that make me feel comfortable. Ghosts. The concept of just stopping existing instead. Like...name a thing that exists or doesnt and im nervous about it.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

yeah, sometimes. depends on my mood. Outside? All the time if im alone. Inside? a lot of he time if im alone lmao ok so usually yeah but not if im with someone else

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the mistake and the person? but most of the time i do, yeah

74. Are you ticklish?

yes extremely so but if anyone tries it ill fuckin kill you

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

not that i know of. i try to stay out of drama. It’s exhausting.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

just like...babysitting. Or I guess cadets (like military club for kids in Canada) counts but im terrible at it. I cant give orders

77. Have you ever drank underage?

hehe yeah

78. Have you ever done drugs?

not yet ;) nah real talk i wanna try edibles or smth but i also am worried about psychosis so im gonna wait till my brains a lil more developed (even tho weed is legal now yee yee)

79. Who was your first real crush?

oh god probably this kid in my class in SK...i had a crush on him for like 10 years it was nuts (unless you count fictional characters because lbr probably madeline or hermione)

80. How many piercings do you have?

just the classic earlobes, but im seriously considering getting a helix

81. Can you roll your Rs?

yep and my brother cant so i mock him all the time hehe

82. How fast can you type?

average for a person who has to look at the keys i suppose

83. How fast can you run?

not very fast at all. ive always hated running. im more of an endurance type of guy. ill walk for hours but i can only run for like...30 seconds

84. What color is your hair?

Supposed to be teal, faded to a minty green. (naturally brown)

85. What color is your eyes?

Hazel, leaning more towards green (though my mom would beg to differ) but my three year old nephew says they’re green and he’s v confident in his knowledge of colours so duh mom clearly they are green

86. What are you allergic to?

GOD i have seasonal allergies and on top of that im allergic to cats, apples, cherries, some scents and detergents, peanuts and tree nuts, maybe carrots?? and maybe this one brand of toothpaste??? i need to get tested again (THIRD time) i hate it. I still eat everything im not supposed to eat tho (aside from the raw fruits..those ones make my mouth hella itchy)

87. Do you keep a journal?

always wanted to, never had the commitment necessary

88. What do your parents do?

Mom’s a nurse, dad’s a business clerk at a hospital

89. Do you like your age?

yes. Im having a Great Time. I wanted to diiiieeee in high school but university is such a good time (im like a week away from my bday so like...not yet but in a week ill be having a Good Time cuz ill be able to buy alcohollll)

90. What makes you angry?

People judging other people, especially when you dont know em and also stubborn people??? like GOD nothing makes me more angry than a person who just refuses to do or try smth for no reason i dont know why other than that i dont really get angry too often (mostly just frustrated lmao)

91. Do you like your own name?

I DONT KNOW im having such a problem with it i just dont know its pretty femme and spelled weird and i cant decide if i like having a femme name or not cuz i dont like being percieved as feminine most of the time but i dont hate hate hate my name???? for now ill just say i dont like the spelling and idk if i like the name

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Nope. Im not carrying kids so i dont need to unless i end up with a partner that wants to (and the like....science and money to do so). I also like the idea of adopting, so if i do have kids they’ll already come with names lmao

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

gender....is not important*

*obvs except when dysphoria is involved but like...it dont matter to me a kid’s a kid (also who says they wont be nb) (yes most sjw answer ik but i seriously could not give less fucks)

94. What are you strengths?

im pretty nice and good at art (in different forms)

95. What are your weaknesses?

im bad at admitting my strengths lmao and im a big ole hypocrite and i could keep making this list forever

96. How did you get your name?

My parents wanted to name me after my grandmas but their first names were a lil odd so they went with middle names, but then they didnt want alliteration so they changed a c to a k and then they also didnt like the way one name was pronounced so they tweaked it and now i have a name that seems obvious but is apparently both very difficult and very difficult to spell and say, considering no one ever gets it first try (Karaline, pronounced “Kara-line”)

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that im aware of

98. Do you have any scars?

yeah, just little ones from scratching mosquito bites too much or random childhood injuries nothing too interesting Except for one/two on my arm from a staple sticking out of a chair it hurt so bad lmao and now ive got a scar that (tw) looks like self harm and i was so mad cuz like...i never did and now im stuck with this mark that looks like i did and PEOPLE HAVE COMMENTED ON IT i want to die everytime

99. Color of your bedspread?

grey and black cuz im EMO but also i have one that looks like a galaxy and i love

100. Color of your room?

purple and white

in conclusion f u lola but also this was kinda fun so maybe..not

#god that took forever #knicodiangelo