Tumgik
#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats
thebirdandhersong Β· 7 months
Text
I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats#that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know#i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around?#like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist.#i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me.#but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles#i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face#sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat#or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre.#i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally#it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely#and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year.#so i think i'm justified in being a little upset!#i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge!#the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in#somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community.#anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year#because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision#to do everything i can to love the people here.#i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do!#i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned!#i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers!#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in#i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too#of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in#and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community#it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it!#i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood#and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now
72 notes Β· View notes
moumouton4 Β· 11 months
Note
HEYLO!
I was wondering If I could request something Platonic for Naruto Uzumaki?
I'm kind of in the mood for a little angst to fluff kind of thing! So how could I ask for Naruto (preferably from early seasons) x platonic long-lost older sister reader.
Like Naruto is feeling very sad because he's so lonely coming home and having no sort of family there for him and he's just really sad!
One day he gets home feeling particularly down and there is just this random woman sitting at his table with Iruka just talking and Naruto is confused because he has never seen her before! But she (reader) jumps up from the table second she sees him enter and just engulfs him in a bone crushing hug before admitting that she's actually his older sister and she had been looking for him non-stop ever since she heard that he could possibly be her brother.
I've Got You Now || Naruto Uzumaki x long-lost older sister!reader
Part 2 : It Was About Time πŸ’«
A/n : It's the first time I write a platonic fic, it was a really interresting exercise. I really hope you'll like it. I'm really proud of it 😍
A/n 2 : In this fic Naruto is 11 - 12 years old and let's say reader is 19 - 23 years old
Masterlist ⚜
Warning : Angst to fluff, hurt / comfort
Summary : Loneliness is a heavy burden for such a young boy. You've done everything to find him, and today is the D-day. You're finally going to meet your little brother.
I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it
Words count : 2030
Tumblr media
When you're alone, you feel lonely. But in reality, many of us feel this loneliness. That deep sorrow that devours us from the inside when there's no one to tell about our day or the things we've discovered. It's a shared feeling despite what we might think. But sometimes it's when we least expect it that loneliness gives way to a warmer feeling.
These warm feelings Naruto doesn't know what they are. He's never really asked himself. He always thought it was the way it was supposed to be. But as time went by, he realized that he felt empty, empty from being alone. He envied the other kids whose parents picked them up from the playground or took them out for some noodles. That's when he realized that it wasn't possible for these other children to feel as empty as he did with people around, and that this feeling was abnormal.
Alone, lonely, growing older he had managed to put a word to it. With no one to spend his day with, he could say he was alone. With no one to hold in his heart, he could say he was lonely. He tried to fill this void in a variety of ways. First, he tried to make friends at school. But nobody would mix with him. And the only ones who had the misfortune of being seen with him were scolded by their parents.Β 
He was tired of being alone. Of eating alone. Going to school alone. To play alone. To walk alone. Of coming home to a house where he was going to be alone until the next day or guess what he was going to be alone again. Oddly enough, he got into the habit of saying "I'm home" when he arrived home, as if to signal his presence in the empty house.
Sometimes he wondered if it was his fault he was alone. If he'd done something to repulse people. But no one ever answered these questions. Sometimes he even doubted his own existence in the village with how no one acknowledged him. The only time he felt he was noticed was when people talked about him behind his back and thought they were being discreet. Because yes, he might not have heard the content, but he knew full well that it was him who was being talked about.
In the end, he settled on the idea of attracting attention in another way, by messing around. He figured they couldn't do any worse than leaving him alone. Like painting the Hokages' faces. An unconscious way of getting closer to one of them, maybe.
On a school-free day when he'd had enough of being cooped up alone in his house, he decided to go out and get some fresh air, hoping to clear his head. As he passed along a shopping street, under the glare of passers-by he tried not to pay too much attention to. He noticed a store selling tengu masks. His eyes lit up and he went inside to take a closer look. Suddenly, a man's voice startled him.The bastard yelled at him to get out of his store, despite the boy's words that he wasn't about to do anything foolish and that he was only looking.
With a crash, he threw the boy into the street, before the eyes of all the passers-by who seemed to have gathered around him, looking down on him as if he were a curious beast. The shopkeeper threw the mask in Naruto's face before shouting at him never to set foot in his store again. In a fit of sadness, the bewildered blond cried out to passers-by why everyone was treating him as if he'd done something awful. He grabbed the mask and quickly ran away from this terrible scene.
With disgust and dismay he decided to return to the coldness of his home. At least there'd be no one there to judge him. A feeling of disgust grew the longer he stayed on the street. Well, today he was going to stay home. It's not as if he had anything better to do elsewhere. And little did he know that he couldn't be more right about this.
Just then, as he walked slowly up to the house, two people were already there. "Are you telling me he lives here all alone ?" a soft voice asked.
"Unfortunately, yes, we can't say that life has been kind to him so far," replied an equally gentle and slightly sad male voice.
"I see... And is he surrounded by anyone ? Supervised at least ?" the voice sounded worried.
"Well, not really. I know his future sensei came to check on the house but other than that nothing. I think it's about time the fate of your paths converged again" he said, taking a seat at a table in front of the front door. With a serious face, laced with slight excitement, the second person came to sit opposite the first to continue their discussion.
Naruto, for his part, had just put his keys in the door lock. Turning mechanically, he then, as usual, said to the empty house "I'm home", except that this time it wasn't quite like that.
The two people in the room tensed. Both you and Iruka - Naruto's first sensei. The latter entered the room, struggling to conceal his surprise "Erm tell me Iruka sensei who is this lady ooooof-"
He didn't even have time to finish his sentence as you leaped from the table, giving him a bone crushing hug. Naruto's eyes widened, he had no idea what was happening. But he couldn't deny the warmth awakening in his heart at this affectionate contact he'd never had the chance to experience before.
Still in the blur of this unknown woman suddenly taking him in her arms, he felt her shake before she spoke again "Otouto-san" ( little brother )
He blinked slowly ( like a cat / pun unintented ), otouto-san ? him ? so that meant... Without him even being able to hold them back or notice them, a warm liquid beaded on his cheeks. Wetting them with salty tears. After holding you for what seemed an eternity, you parted carefully from the little boy. Now your face was close to his and you could see the resemblance, like the little whiskers on your cheeks. Of course, you had red strand of hair amongst your h/c ones, but overall you looked very much like him but older and more feminine. You ran your hand through his hair before saying softly, "It's amazing how your hair has the same shine as his" But when you saw his strained cheeks, you then thought that maybe you shouldn't have jumped on him at the risk of overwhelming him "I'm sorry" you said, backing away.
Iruka came and put a hand on your shoulder before clearing his throat "Naruto I think she is better suited to answer you"
As the boy's face fell on you, eagerly awaiting your answer, an answer that could potentially put an end to a lifetime of loneliness and sadness. You took a shaky breath before opening your mouth, "I-I'm Y/n Uzumaki, your older sister. The eldest children of our parents... well and actually the only other kid of the family besides you"
And then nothing, his face seemed blank for a moment. The truth is, he felt a range of emotions so strong and numerous in a short instant that his face couldn't express them all : surprise, amazement, joy, sadness, relief. Suddenly he let out a big sigh, like a weight he'd just dropped, and a broad smile appeared on his lips before he leapt at you, his arms encircling your middle ( First fanfic where reader is taller than the other character woohoo )
You lowered yourself to his level when you heard him sobbing. You took him in a much softer hug, guiding his head onto your shoulder and your hand running soothingly over his back. "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you," you said, feeling your tears fall as well. I never gave up hope of ever seeing you again. But I've got you now"
Your little brother could only nod against your shoulder, while his smaller arms were clinging onto you. It broke your heart, you felt how much he lacked affection and silently vowed to yourself to fill the void in his heart.
"I think my work here is done" said Iruka "If you need anything you know where to find me" ( Y/n x Iruka ?!? πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚ )
"Thanks a lot I'll make it up to you" you said in a soft voice.
Looking at Naruto and feeling him so relieved, Iruka replied "It already is" and with that he left.
Once you'd closed the door, you refocused all your attention on the blond boy, "So, tell me, would you make room for me in your little house ?"
He pulled out of the cuddle and nodded at full speed getting excited every second "Yes ! Of course ! I can let you room in my bed or we can ask a neigbhour for a spare mattress ! Oooh and if you want we can go and eat somewhere, I'm sure you'll love Ichiraku's ramen ! They're divine dattebayo !"
You chuckled at this, he sounded just like your mother. You gave him a wide smile that reflected how pleased you were that he'd accepted you so quickly "Sounds like a plan. It's on me today you can take whatever you want"
His eyes sparkled as he engulfed you in another quick but sentimental hug. Before putting his shoes back on, ready to go out again, this time with a sense of ease and confidence he didn't have on the way home. Even as the villagers glanced at you as you walked, his hand in yours. Though you never looked away, forcing them to mind their own business.
It wasn't yet the right time to explain how you'd ended up in this situation. How after Kyubi's attack on the village, "Madara" threatened your dying father, the 4th Hokage, and your mother, Kyubi's jinchuriki, to find you. Because he thought that, as the eldest, they would seal the biju in you. However, before he died, your father had asked that you be sheltered away from Konohagakure in another village - knowing that you would inevitably find your brother in the future. You served as a diversion, but thanks to this, Naruto remained safe until you found him. You didn't even know if Naruto was aware of the colossal power he harbored.
But for now, you planned to enjoy your time with him and take it step by step. Get to know him, train him if he wanted, create good memories with him and make him feel like any other child his age. In any case, you weren't planning to leave any time soon now that you'd found the last member of your family.
Certainly loneliness was a feeling that had been part of his whole life. He wasn't the only one who felt lonely. And yet, without warning, the solitude left, and for once he was glad to be left. He knew now, thanks to you, what it felt like to feel his warm feelings. Thanks to you, he'd found his family again. And it was well worth the wait.
Deep within Naruto, unbeknownst to you both, was resting a smirking Kurama who since you had arrived felt a chakra similar to his when Naruto stood close to you. And given his calm and collected demeanor, he assumed that this other part of him was still asleep within you. As fate would have it, just like your brother, you'll soon learn a truth you hadn't even considered... that of being a jinchuriki. It's curious that you still haven't realized it. Kurama closed his eyes again as he thought about it "Damn Minato. Going against the threats of the enemy and sealing a part of me in your eldest child, even on the brink of death you never cease to amaze me"
~
~
Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff
A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! πŸ—πŸ Again my requests are open πŸ₯žπŸ§
108 notes Β· View notes