#in the meantime you cant make that person leave you alone. and theyre going to know exactly who you called and why

[silverislander]

i've been thinking a lot recently abt how different my current job is to my first job and how much more i like it and why, and it really just comes down to like. basic humanity. at the hardware store, it was a really intense "time to lean time to clean" mentality, we weren't allowed to chat with the other cashiers even during slow days, we couldn't get caught reading/drawing/goofing off while on cash, we weren't even allowed to leave the corral. at the supermarket, we're expected to take our time w the customers and talk to them. the managers and other departments come out when they're bored to come chat w us! i read the local paper during slow hours and draw in between customers, and its great! everyone is also just really nice and friendly which is fantastic, i can't name one person over there i don't get along with

and i happened to remember the first meeting i had to go to for the hardware store lmfao. i showed up in uniform bc there was no indication that it was a meeting instead of a regular shift, we were basically told to go stock the shelves/face items for an hour (? still not sure why. they did this to all of us and it did Not need to be done) and while we were paid for that time i was NOT trained for it, so when customers came up and asked like "hey wheres the plumbing section" i had to go "um. i don't know :) let's go find someone else" and had no way to deal with it when they inevitably got really fucking mad w me for not being able to help them

and then when the meeting finally actually started, it opened w the manager going "ok i heard some of you had some things you wanted to discuss!" and a couple of the other cashiers reading off a list of issues they wanted to address. none of which were actually addressed. it was shit like "when you guys come down to customer service and immediately disregard the policies we've just explained, it makes us look like the bad guys and gets us treated very poorly by future customers" "ok well are we supposed do about that :)"/"you need to give us our breaks on time. if managers have to be in charge of telling us when we're allowed to go on break, they need to make sure they're not hours late when doing that" "well we're really busy so sometimes we forget but i guess we'll try :)"

... yeah. if i had been a little bit smarter at the time, i would have realized 2wks in that this was a baby union, we were being exploited and i was abt to have the shittiest fucking summer lmao

#this is a bit of a long pointless post but i was thinkin abt it the other day and just laughing #like... dude. how did i not see that as an insane red flag #those are all issues that continued throughout the summer btw :) none of it ever got fixed we were all miserable #they also had a rule that if you saw someone stealing you were supposed to CHASE THEM and i mentally checked out of that job right there #i am not going to put myself in danger over a fucking power drill or a garden light. bye #like. if someone is stealing they can just fucking have it. i hate it here anyway idc if i get fired for it #levi.txt #like seriously i am So much happier at the grocery store. this is worlds better #theyre both minimum wage theyre basically the same job (cashier) but its not even comparable #i feel like a person. i dont dread going into work. i feel like if anything happened the other employees would have my back #and so would the managers! #we have a fucking code name to say over the pa in case someone is sexually harassing you! manager AND security will show up!! #and you can LEAVE THE CASH to go calm down and take a breather when that happens!! #at the hardware store it was just. if you want to radio a supervisor abt it you can try but it might take them 15mins. if they show up #in the meantime you cant make that person leave you alone. and theyre going to know exactly who you called and why #also just on a personal note. grocery store is doing wonders for my social anxiety. its like a vr simulation for social interactions #you effectively cant fuck up the interaction too bad people will at most think youre kind of funny and then move on w their day

[cycloplasm]

Quibris (left) and Cedra (right) hd ref pictures; the two of them + context shown in there. Longest thing i ever wrote under the cut.

The two of them can change size at will; but depending of how consequent the change is, they need time before being able to change size again. They used to be bigger than Futh itself, but changed to 4 meters so they can roam on their own planet. (according to conversion, 4 meters is 13″12 in feet; feel free to correct me if that’s wrong :O!)

Quibris (they/them) is a God of Life; they created all lifeforms on Futh; all plants, animals, and people there were initially created by them; from the primordial soup where they progressively learned how to make lifeforms that can survive, to Futh’s current state. If they look like they’re looking in the distance, it’s because their eye allows them to see in real time important events happening on Futh; so that they can watch over their creations. They only see events that will affect the majority of the planet, like the creation of a new society, a technological breakthrough, and such things that can be considered as historical. People on Futh used to be aware of them and worshiped Quibris; but over the centuries, people forgot about them… That made them doubt themself, somewhat depressed and bitter towards the people of Futh. Quibris takes their job relatively seriously, and doesn’t focus on anything else other than Futh and its people. They like seeing their creations evolve; and does so even when they’re bitter over not being worshipped. They love Cedra, even if their way of doing and seeing things are different.

Cedra (was born genderless, but identifies as a male; so he/him) is the God of death of Futh, and was the one to keep balance; by reducing the numbers of invasive species to allow the weaker ones to survive, or even decimate an entire race if Quibris felt like they weren’t meant to stay on their planet (thankfully, the latter one happened rarely and only on the beginning of life on Futh, around the time lifeforms started developing after the primordial soup/when Quibris was learning how to make lifeforms). Cedra doesn’t actually LIKE destroying lifeforms; he does it only out of duty and as favors for Quibris. But it’s not like he particularly cares about them either; for him, life on Futh are like ants in a ant farm. One thing he DOES enjoy is destroying the landscape; such as breaking mountains, creating earthquakes and tornadoes, making an entire forest rot and watching it die, and such other destructive things. His four ears allows him to hear in instant time important things that is being said on Futh; like Quibris’ sight, it’s only things that could be considered historical, such as the start or end of a big war, a new kind of society being born, and other such events. If he hears something important that isn’t in a language he knows, the second pair of Cedra’s ears allow him to understand what’s being said, by at least understanding what’s being communicated (example: someone decides to yell that they’re starting a war and says it in a language that isn’t too spread on the planet; Cedra will hear it; he won’t understand exactly what’s being said, but his second pair of ears will get the fact that it’s something bad, and that the words used are full of animosity.) As for his personality, Cedra is VERY obnoxious and, while he does his duty, focuses on having fun more than anything else. His concept of ‘fun’ can be related to his death powers, but also making fun of mortals CONSTANTLY. He finds them to be ‘hilarious’, and can’t help but enjoy watching . His favorite thing is when people starts cults, especially if it’s in honor; he WILL mess with them. But the only thing he never makes fun of is Quibris; he loves them very much and even admires them (but he rarely admits the latter).

One day, Quibris told Cedra that they were upset about not being worshipped, and that they wish they could something. Cedra at first suggested that they create new lifeforms that could be loyal to their belief in them; they did so, but that wasn’t enough for them. Quibris was mad that they spent milleniums creating life on Futh, only to have those people forget them. So Cedra asked ‘what would like to do, then?’ Quibris wasn’t sure how to respond with anything other that ‘ I wish to teach them a lesson. But I wish to do so myself, so they dare not to forget me again.’ Cedra, who puts Quibris’ well being before anything, and has always been admirative of what they could create, replied; ‘Then do so! Destroy them! Become their god of death! After all, i got myself more cults than i can count without asking for anything; people don’t forget what they FEAR. So make them FEAR you. In the meantime, I can try to create things for a change! Wouldn’t that be fun?’ And Quibris agreed to that. They traded jobs by, at first, teaching each other. Quibris showed Cedra how they create things, and Cedra showing how to destroy to Quibris in return. Thing is, both only watched; they didn’t really learn the intricacies of each act. For example, Cedra used his power of death/destruction to get some ‘materials’ (various minerals, or even in some cases dead matter (so basically rotten stuff) and made lifeforms out of it; but he has little to no concept of ‘internal organs’, of anatomy/functional bodyparts, and isn’t very good at crafting. So Cedra’s lifeforms tend to look like a scary toddler’s clay sculpture, with lots of eyes/mouths/limbs (or even none of those at all). And since Quibris can’t technically destroy anything directly, they instead created grey lifeforms that are similar in consistency to clay and has no mind of it’s own; they just kind of shaped it (like shaping clay) into weapon-looking shapes, and fused it to the aggressive creations they made with Cedra. The result is a creature who does massive damage wherever they are; but Quibris and those lifeforms doesn’t have the notion of what NEEDS to be destroyed, and what doesn’t. So they tend to do a LOT of damage on the people and even Futh itself.

This period of time left a consequential stain on Futh’s history; Cedra’s creations were roaming around, destroying things seemingly out of instinct, and even making hybrids with some of Futh people. While Quibris’ newest creations would leave little to no survivors, and do as much destruction as Cedra’s lifeforms, if not more. The two gods saw pretty quickly that their trade didn’t go as planned; no one worshiped or even acknowledged Quibris; all they saw were the strange, new lifeforms destroying everything in their path. While Cedra’s creations weren’t as good as he wanted them to be, and no matter how much of them he made and how much he desperately wanted to be as good as Quibris, Cedra felt awful having his failed attempts at creating life destroying Quibris’ own, ‘perfect’ (in Cedra’s point of view) creations. So Cedra decided to take his creations away from the people of Futh, and guided them to the center of the planet, where only he can go in and out of. Unfortunately, Cedra felt that he needed to seal them away AND stay with them while doing so; he felt like they were his responsibility and that he couldn’t stay with Quibris after being such a failure as a god of life. That’s when he went from being bigger than Futh itself to a 4 meters form, and left Quibris alone. The latter was already very upset over the chaos that happened with their poor attempt at revenge/getting worshiped again, but the fact that Cedra left just destroyed them; not literally, but on an emotional level. The two were always there for each other, so Quibris felt more lonely than ever. They retrieved their lifeforms of destruction, and sealed them in a place only Quibris themself can access. Feeling like there wasn’t even a point to carry on being either a god of life or death; so they changed their size to 4 meters like Cedra, and makes sure their latest creations don’t escape.

Quibris’ and Cedra’s trade lasted for a few years; but for the people of Futh, it felt pretty much like the apocalypse. And afterwards, since neither god were protecting Futh from dangers, one of the three moons, Sekut, got pulverized by an asteroid; so that was kind of like the cherry on top of the apocalypse cake. At least Cedra’s creations and Quibris’ new ones being away, the people could spend time rebuilding their world and families little by little. By what counts as ‘nowadays’ to Futh, only old people remember how the world was like when the two gods watched over it, and how the year of the trade went. Those people tend to keep telling the new generations about ‘how different and good life was when the gods were there’, so that the memory of the Futh with gods goes on.

#o #futh #quibris #cedra #this was SO hard to explain but i think i did it #even if this is like? a rough draft of their story; i feel like it gives the closest thing to full context i can do for now #rose'socs

[themightyrancho]

god. the reason stories about family (gf, steven universe, kubo, tbol) get me so hard is because i just wish i had a family that. liked each other. and that i didn’t feel isolated from

my parents can’t stand each other. everything’s a chore and i cant talk with them about something without the threat of it becoming A Thing. And they’re both good people but they are horrible to each other and can’t get out of it. most of everything is my dad’s fault; he has a terrible anger problem and is the most stubborn guy ever and can be straight-up emtionally abusive to my mom. and it just makes me so bitter bc like theyre both psychologists. hes a family marriage therapist. why did you fuck me up so bad

i love my brother but. i havent felt... close to him in the slightest since we were in like. 5th grade. his autism just made him start to distance, bury himself in video games and shows and not want to play with me anymore. and as i grew up his interests still stayed the same age level and even tho he’s older than me i have to take care of him and. i know i can;t blame him for it but i just hate thinking what could have been if my parents hadnt let him withdraw so much and pushed him more.

i have no family that’s closer than an 8 hour drive. and even then, those are my mom’s family, raised 7th day adventist whom i cant relate to at all. my cousins hardly open up to people. they all love construction work, dirt bikes, and cars and camping and it’s all they talk about. and they’re good people too but it’s just. kind of exhausting and i still feel so awkward with them sometimes. and i don’t see them for years at a time. i havent been up  to northern california to visit them since i was like, 8.

the other half of my family lives in the heart of mexico since my dad moved here to be with my mom. i had only been to mexico when i was very young, again like 7 or something. and my dad didn’t teach me spanish bc he tried w my brother but since my mom doesnt speak it and they didnt even know if my bro COULD talk for a while it became too hard. and i’m so light skinned, i cant handle spicy food. so in elementary, all the brown latinx kids had very distinct chicano culture that i loved but didn’t share in my own home and didnt experience so i just thought that i had no option to be a part of it. i always felt like a disgrace to that side of my family that i hardly knew. i would get jokes about being a “half-breed” or “hybrid” and id laugh bc like i mean, I am i guess right? i’d be a fraud

but the most devistating thing is that i absolutely adore that side of my family. i’ve only been able to visit them twice since the trip i made when i was 8. they are the greatest people. they’re fun and funny, loving, always welcoming and accepting of me. they’re all brilliant and talented and i relate more with my older mexican cousins than i ever did with my white ones.

but since i live here, ive missed out on all the family bonding that happens when youre growing up together. all the cousins see eachother all the time and have all these memories but i only have a handful. everyone’s grown up! my niece who i remember holding as a baby when i was a kid is now taller than me and 13. and she’s the sweetest but i feel like absolute shit because she doesnt speak english and i just wish more than anything i could talk to my fucking family. most of them speak english but some of them dont and i wish i could visit and not have to have everything repeated in english for me or be fucking clueless to what’s going on. my abuela is such an amazing woman. she’s so sweet and kind but she’s so old now and her alseimers is rly bad so i wont ever get to know her like i wish i could have.

both my grandpas died when i was like?? 10. they were both very good and fun people but i didnt know them well bc i didnt see them often.

and my aunt, mom’s sister, was the most loving person in the world, who loved life and family and was the most generous being. and the person whose company i enjoyed most in this house when she lived with us. but then she died suddenly and it’s just the worst fucking punch in the gut to my mom and i. we dont even speak her name because it hurts my mom so much and she hasnt properly grieved. and now my grandma, is just waiting to die and i have to take care of her in the meantime even though she’d rather just waste away.

so it always just.still stupidly surprises me sometimes when people say that they’re haning with their cousins because like oh shit, some people see their family all the time.

and it just. makes me so happy and jealous when my friends talk about their parents loving each other, or how annoying their little sibling is but they still love them, of course. because ive never had that and i never will and it makes me so sad. so seeing shows where families reconcile or platonic love endures, or remembering the death of loved ones it just. gets me right there, not because i can relate, but because i wish more than anything i could.

and i guess that’s why i cling to my friends so hard? and when im hanging out with them i just. dont want to leave lmao. and because my closest friends are the ones i made in middle school and had thru high school, i havent made new friends that are more than aquaintances even tho ive been going to college for 3 years. so most of the time i just. really feel alone and trapped thru everything since everyone’s moving on and busy at their own schools and jobs and lives and i cant blame them for that.

#.......anyway lmao #i just thought i'd. get this out. in writing #because i could never verbally articulate it to my mom or anything without breaking down #but it plagues my mind all the time so. at least it's somewhere else now too. #long post #i dont expect anyone to read this dont worry its fine #i just saw the big sick which i LOVED but. it made my mom and i think of my aunt so #im just thinking about.... all this