#ineffablefool original fiction

[ineffablefool]

Or Treat

“Or treat!” chorused four young voices, as Crowley opened the door; and then “My mum and dad say I’m not supposed to play tricks on people,” Adam said, in a tone that suggested he’d already had to explain this several times. “So we’re just leaving that part out.” Their group had a silent fifth, waiting outside the glow of the porch light. Aziraphale actually was Adam’s godfather, unlike Crowley, who just seemed to have been adopted as some kind of communal weird uncle when he’d moved here — and it must’ve been Aziraphale’s year to take the kids trick-or-treating, because there he was. His hands rested quietly behind his back. His soft-looking hair curled around his shadowed face, and his soft-looking everything else hid beneath some kind of white getup. A sheet, maybe, meant to be done up like a toga or a robe. His usual brogues had been swapped out for sandals. Crowley was pretty sure he could see his ankles. Crowley really needed to not be thinking about adorable fat ankles.

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It is spooky season! Perhaps you will enjoy this small human AU one-shot? It's mostly not about the Them if that makes a difference. Also, it involves a not-britpicked approach to Halloween, not least because the word "sweets" to describe a thing you consume just bugs me. Kind of like "bitters" does. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go eat a salty and drink an umami. ("drinking a sour", you are on thin ice.)

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: or treat #the working not-title becomes the actual title once again #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #and other tags as well

[shesthewindandsea]

“Crowley took the mug. His hands rested over Aziraphale’s briefly, as he did so, and his breathing crashed to a stop. So soft. The mug was bordering on hot, but Aziraphale’s hands were warm, and so incredibly soft...”

If Not Now, When | Chapter Four

By @ineffablefool

.

Good God, I don’t remember the last time I drew fan art but this was so worth it. Make sure y’all check out ineffablefool and everything he’s written!! All of it is gold (just so happens that I like hands and I really like chapter four)

#god this took forever #i literally drew it six times before i called it #just !!!!!! chubby hands why are you so difficult my loves #let me love you #(because ive only ever had to draw skinny hands thats why uGH) #but they progressively got better as i went along so thats something #i might try to scan this and reupload it at a later date but im not sure where the scanner in the library is #and at this point im too afraid to ask #so instead i hiked down to the art building and used a light table and tried my best lmao #get up out of bed and eat and work because im supposed to and its good for me? never heard of her. #get up out of bed and eat because i need to work on this drawing for ineffablefool? oh yeah baby im on it #i was supposed to do some work today and #i mean technically i did i worked on this lol #i just didnt do school work #oh well #ineffablefool #TYPING INEFFABLEFOOL INTO THE TAGS AND SEEING ALL THE STUFF I WROTE BEFORE POP OMG #I am the true fool good lord #ineffablefool original fiction #good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouces #ineffable partners #crowley #aziraphale

[ineffablefool]

Being Slightly Different Reminiscences As To The Particular Details Of A Shared First Kiss

“You were so overcome by the depths of emotions which you couldn’t find words to express…” “Overcome by annoyance, maybe.” Aziraphale gave the muttered aside the lack of attention it warranted.  “Your beautiful eyes,” he went on, "shining with tears…”

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Instead of sleeping, I wrote a ficlet where Aziraphale and Crowley have slightly different stories about how their first kiss went.  Pure fluff, canonverse, unrelated to s2.

#good omens fanfiction #ineffablefool original fiction #some Soft(TM)ness for our trying times

[ineffablefool]

Spring Vows

It really was a lovely day, especially in this little sun-dappled space. Here one might imagine the two of them strolling along to be alone in all the world. Beyond these trees might stretch unbroken wilderness, steady mountains and vibrant jungles, rivers and valleys, snowfields and seas – a planet-wide Garden where not even Adam had yet taken his first wondering step. And in this new paradise, Aziraphale felt, one angel and one demon might live very happily amongst the beasts and birds and the fish in the seas, together, until eternity's end. Although they would miss the humans.

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Super-soft historical slight canon divergence, where Aziraphale and Crowley have been able to have a slightly closer/more affectionate relationship than in canon. Also? A young lady named Sarah, one possible nickname for which is Sadie, and... well, you'll see.

I was lucky enough to be matched with @lonicera-caprifolium in this year's reverse mini bang, and I was more than inspired enough to come up with an outline for probably about 4k words of fic, despite being the type who Never Outlines. I started in on writing...

...and then Everything Kept Happening.

Beautiful human being @hkblack is responsible for this fic being complete and viewable now as opposed to a year or three from now, because she took my outline, sorted through some of my additional babbling, and not only wrote the section I hadn't been able to finish, but expanded it beyond what I had originally been bothering planning to write. Which means even more softness!

I cannot thank loni enough for the inspirational artwork, or hkblack enough for the long-past-last-minute save. I think that with them I was able to make something very nice and soft and lovely, and I hope that you agree!

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #good omens fanfiction

[ineffablefool]

And I Have Something To Say To You

Aziraphale blinked. “What?”

“What?”

“I, ah.” Aziraphale paused for a moment, hoping that Crowley might intuit his meaning from that statement. He tried very hard to still his nervously wringing hands as he went on. “I’m not… I think I must have, well. Misheard you. Or — or missed part of what you said? Perhaps you could clarify?”

Crowley looked as though he’d rather be somewhere else, but he held his position, standing just under the bookshop oculus. “Clarify,” he repeated, “no, I can’t clarify — look, I kind of laid it all out the first time, angel.”

They both winced slightly at the last word.

“Perhaps you’d better go through it again,” Aziraphale said to a nearby shelf.

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--

Would you care for a random canon one-shot that I got the idea for two days ago?

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: and i have something to say to you #good omens fanfiction

[ineffablefool]

I was wondering if you finished and plan to publish the Umbrella AU? I checked your account and I couldn't find it anywhere (sorry if I just didn't notice). I would really gladly read it! (I desperately need it)

Finished, no; still plan to publish, though, yes.

I realized something like a year and a half ago that the story needed a structural overhaul from the beginning before I could move on to its conclusion. (Example: Crowley never actually indicates what he does for a living, in like six months of increasingly close friendship. Even when he hangs out at the bookshop for hours at a time "putting in some hours" on his laptop. So how does he pay his bills? I have no idea.) Then I didn't actually do it, because the ol' depression started getting so bad that "200 usable words on a short one-shot" became a really, really good week. (I used to write INNW chapters in 2-3 days. How.)

I know what it feels like when a story is no longer alive in my head, and this one is still kicking. It's just kicking on the other side of a door, and the door is closed, and there's a big pile of furniture built up blocking that door plus also a sign saying "Beware Of Leopard".

Would a probable outtake help? Looks like I rewrote the currently-last couple of chapters about a dozen times at the end of 2021, so here's the entirety of one chunk which I dropped midway through and I'm guessing probably won't pick up again:

--

[This human!Aziraphale is in his early 40s and has never been on a date or anything, and now somehow he seems to have become on smooching terms with Crowley. Some number of days or possibly weeks into this he asks Crowley whether Crowley is in love with him.]

"Well, I mean, hah." It was probably meant as a laugh, that sound. Perhaps Crowley was trying to smile. "Don't need to talk about all that so fast, do we? I mean, you -- you like me, like spending time with me, right? Angel?"

Aziraphale nodded, not looking up from where his hands now lay absolutely still together.

"Right -- and I… really like spending time with you, best part of my life these days, honestly -- w-which I don't mean to mean anything --"

The shiver in Crowley's voice was all the 'No' Aziraphale needed, really. Of course it wouldn't be that. There was a reason no one had ever so much as asked him out for coffee, let alone wanted to pursue a romance with him, and whatever that reason might be, it wasn't as though anything had changed. He was still only himself. And yes, at last, he'd found exactly one man who could be fond of him -- who could inexplicably find him physically attractive, who would actually want to kiss him -- but that was already more than he should ever have expected.

He was just one of those poor souls whose fate was to never be loved like that.

"It's all right," he said, cutting off Crowley's scramble for an answer. "I'm not expecting you to be."

"Aziraphale --"

There was a little catch in his throat, suddenly, although he wasn't quite sure where it had come from. "Goodness, I'm rather making a hash of things, aren't I? I didn't mean to push you into having to give the 'it's not you, it's me' speech quite so early…"

He raised his head, finally, trying on a reassuring smile, although he hoped that at least some of the terror would already be gone from Crowley's face.

Ah. Even worse: now the poor man looked absolutely heartbroken.

"Aziraphale," Crowley said again. "It isn't you."

"Please, you needn't --"

"And it isn't me either, it… urgh." At last Crowley pushed himself away from the wall, pacing without really seeming to be watching where he was going. His hands shoved through his hair, setting it to disarray and somehow looking even more handsome than before. "It isn't anyone. There isn't a thing."

--

Then Crowley would stumble through his explanation that in fact the answer is yes actually very much extremely yeah yes.

#RIP the longer version of this post that vanished forever when tumblr crashed on me #ineffablefool reply #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: the one with the umbrella

[ineffablefool]

Significant Hand Touches

“Right,” Crowley said into the silence left by the departing Oxford bus. He didn’t move after that, though, and didn’t say anything more. He could have been looking anywhere.

Aziraphale shook out his sleeves nervously. Started to reach for his bow tie, thinking he’d just straighten it again, that would give him something to do —

Crowley closed the brief distance between them, reaching out to still Aziraphale’s hands.

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--

A few times Aziraphale and Crowley engage in non-sexual and fairly-QPR-compliant physical touch, starting with the bus back to London from Tadfield. Spoiler, they love each other very, very, very much.

#ineffablefool original fiction #ineffablefool original post #ifof: significant hand touches #good omens fanfiction

[ineffablefool]

Sorry (Not Sorry)

“Hello, Aziraphale,” said a warm, unforgettable voice, and for a moment Aziraphale was seventeen again, hands shaking to the rhythm of his heart.

He turned around. “Crowley,” he breathed.

It had been long, such a very long time since Aziraphale had seen him, the decades clearly having left their mark. Teenaged Crowley had been a slender wisp of a boy. There had been something almost fey in the angled lines of his face, in the sunlit depths of his eyes; he had been terribly handsome, the subject of secret adoration from more than one of their classmates, although none so beneath his regard as Aziraphale.

Read on AO3 (I promise Aziraphale’s assumption at the very end of that excerpt is wrong)

--

Who would like a “running into each other again after many years” human AU, where the author takes an idea he’s had now and again for decades and runs with it to a much nicer place than it probably would go in real life?  If you answered “me me it’s meee” then good news!

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: sorry (not sorry) #good omens fanfiction

[ineffablefool]

Fighting A Duck For My Pants And Winning

This is not how Crowley wants the angel to see his pants.

Not — not that that’s a specific thing he’s into. Even less the kind of stuff people might do together once the pants were off. It’s just… something he’s thought about, now and then. Seems like it might be nice to have someone where pants-seeing didn’t even matter. Where he could maybe wander around the flat, wearing anything or nothing, maybe in his rattiest pyjamas and his bedheadiest hair; and it wouldn’t make a difference to either of them, him or the someone, because the someone would love him. Because they would love each other.

Just one of those idle thoughts.

Obviously not anything he’s thinking about as he cuts through the park towards his flat, plastic bag of clothes swinging from one hand. He’s just bought some amazing sunglasses, and a few new tight-fitting black-adjacent silk shirts to hang up with all the ones he already has. And the pants, of course. Three pairs of boxer briefs with clever little patterns all over them.

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Some lovely person posted this, and I had to write the fic.  (It just took three and a half months to finish.)

Crowley gets into a fight with a duck!  Over his pants-in-the-British-sense-of-the-word! 

In front of a beautiful angel!

Surely nothing good will come of this humiliation, ever.

(It’s the Soft Zone(TM).  Of course something good comes of it.)

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: fighting a duck for my pants and winning #gosh it feels good to finish one of my literally dozens of WIPs finally

[ineffablefool]

gahhhh the last few weeks I have been starving for fics or art where Aziraphale is clearly, legitimately fat (with adoring attention paid to his physical features which are associated with said fatness) and also clearly, legitimately loved ("desired" would be okay but oh give me cherished, give me treasured and held dear and, again, adored)

and I know that this is one of those things where I should just be the change I want to see in the world, but the last few weeks I have also been [flops face-first onto bed and doesn't move for 45 minutes], so clearly that is not happening

#ineffablefool original post #i am just a lonely lil dude who is fat and who has not had that sort of love since 2006 #and has to live vicariously through fictional characters who definitely did not sign up to be my emotional support blorbos #don't mind me #(covid needs to be over already so I can go back to having an incredibly small chance of being smooched someday rather than absolutely zero) #not good omens #i guess? related but not quite there #vent post #i also guess #with the tags and all #anyway this is where my brain has been for a while in case anyone was wondering

[ineffablefool]

All that hoopla about Baby Yoda a couple years ago, and it’s Pedro Pascal’s performance in “The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent” that finally gets me to watch The Mandalorian.

#not good omens #ineffablefool original post #i didn't expect it to be the same performance in both things of course #but i did expect to be similarly delighted #and i was not disappointed! #he's an adorable ray of sunshine in Unbearable Weight and i love him #anyway now to wait for season 3 i guess #(also in a completely not sexualized way i kind of wish the Mandalorian was my dad #because he's an amazingly good dad for someone who 0% signed up for this #and definitely better than the one i actually got #and his voice is so soothing i bet he'd be fucking amazing at reading bedtime stories #anyway pls sign my Petition For This Fictional Character To Have Retroactively Been Jack's Actual Father)

[ineffablefool]

Find Out How Much Love The World Can Hold

“So I have successfully tempted you, right? Not going to come pick you up for dinner, and instead get roped into helping you unpack a bunch of new old books?”

Aziraphale clicked his tongue and hoped the telephone would make him sound disapproving rather than endlessly fond. “That was only the one time,” he said, “and it certainly taught me a lesson about asking you to help.”

“Exactly,” Crowley said easily. “Demon. Inherently unhelpful. Pick you up at nine, then?”

“I’d like that very much. Goodbye, Crowley.”

“Ciao, angel.”

“I love you,” Aziraphale murmured into the handset.

Crowley, of course, had already hung up.

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--

Aziraphale starts saying "I love you" at the end of phone calls with Crowley, after Crowley has hung up. Then one time Crowley doesn't actually hang up.

Spoiler: it ends very well for all parties concerned.

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: find out how much love the world can hold #good omens fanfiction

[ineffablefool]

everything is hard and i’m tired have some preview softness from a not yet complete human AU where Aziraphale and Crowley just confessed their feelings the previous day

There came a knock at Aziraphale's door the next morning, perhaps twenty minutes before the time he generally would have left. He opened up to a wall of flowers. Crimson tulips, blushing roses, sprigs of sweet alyssum -- the poor delivery person could barely get inside the door without dropping it. He was almost late meeting Crowley after all the time needed to admire the arrangement, find somewhere to place it, laugh giddily every few minutes at the fact that such lovely blooms were meant for him...

Crowley only looked delighted when informed of the impact to scheduling, of course. "This is why I keep saying you ought to get a proper mobile. Wouldn't need to say it with flowers, then."

Aziraphale shifted a bit closer. "Say what?"

"I l-love you." Crowley's voice grew softer as he drew Aziraphale near. "I love you."

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #they love each other you guys

[ineffablefool]

Icarus Had It Easy

I am no dove, high-flying, Rising up to gain the Heavens. Some bird more stygian, perhaps. Some graceless carrion-eater.

Crowley can tell something’s up as soon as he comes into the sitting room. Aziraphale is reading, same as usual, but there’s a dangerously soft smile on his lips, and it’s not a book in his lap but a yellowing pamphlet. The faded ink on the cover is almost faint enough to let Crowley pretend he doesn’t know exactly what it is.

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So @anonymousdandelion​ started this thing where Crowley wrote poems under the name Antonio Penn, and then other people joined in, and now I have too I guess?  Yes.  Here is a poem that Crowley wrote, followed by some of what happens when Aziraphale (re-)reads it much later.  It is Soft.

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ineffablefool original poetry #i guess??? sure #good omens fanfiction #antonio penn #i keep noodling at exact word choice and punctuation on the poem #so if it looks like there's weird typos or words missing or whatever then that's probably why #poetry is harder than prose because every individual word + how it relates to every other individual word matters infinity much more #it's not that all that doesn't matter in prose but at least you can let yourself relax occasionally #it's okay to have some words that just bridge from one neat bit to the next #poetry is like '>:/ no' #(tumblr is also like '>:/ no' about letting me be in the Good Omens Fanfiction searchable tag) #(oh wait!! there i am. i guess it just took ten minutes for...whatever reason.)

[ineffablefool]

An angel ruminates on change

It’s amazing how different this lunch is from all the others they’ve shared, and yet it’s just as amazing how much it’s exactly the same. They weren’t supposed to have this, were they? There shouldn’t even have been a Ritz anymore.

But here it is, and here they are, each the constant of the other’s life. Nothing has changed.

Crowley sets his champagne flute down with a thump. He looks at Aziraphale, who returns the gaze, dark glasses doing nothing to stop him.

“I love you,” Crowley says. “You know that, yeah?”

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--

Would you like some 99.44% pure Soft(TM)?

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #good omens fanfiction #ifof: an angel ruminates on change #didn't come up with a real title so enjoy a one-line description of the fic instead

[ineffablefool]

Win Condition

By third period on February 14th, there were girls with paper hearts strung along their arms like bracelets, and boys with stacks of them spilling from their notebooks. Aziraphale, of course, was one of those who had won nothing at all.

The entire school had been told the rules at the start of the day. Each boy had received a simple heart shape, cut from red paper, with a somewhat smaller heart removed from its center; the girls’ paper hearts were solid. Neither group was supposed to talk to the other, and a student who forgot would have to surrender his or her token and then leave the game.

Aziraphale really wasn’t sure what the goal was, other than to make it very obvious who the popular students were.

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Golly, will this school-directed Valentine’s Day game result in any confessions between young students Aziraphale and Crowley?  Truly it is a mystery!

Also featuring (in end notes) the true story of when ineffablefool’s school did this back in the 1990s, but that’s not nearly as Soft(TM).

#ineffablefool original post #ineffablefool original fiction #ifof: win condition #good omens fanfiction