#it's just interesting that that's what my subconscious conjures

[xcyphoz0a]

4 steps to (not so) discreetly show interest + the one moment you do.

Recipient: @yuellii , secret santa event! Enjoy :)

Gender neutral reader, fluff TW/CW: injury(minor) Word count: 2739 Proofread: n/a | she think’s she’s discreet, her act is to perfection. is it? oh, no, no– you know. it’s painfully obvious but you can’t help but watch in amusement, watching as she trip on her own heels, but you’re there to help. | A/N: set in modern times, highschool au, ITS CHRISTMAS, SNOW!! :D

Furina, as confident and enthusiastic she may be on stage, still has sides that she feels difficult to show– perhaps some of her more softer and ‘weaker’ sides that she kept behind the facade of flamboyancy.

Recently having found newfound interest in you, the school librarian, she couldn’t help but subconsciously make her way to the school library, taking a seat near your station, peeking from the top of her book as she watches you work on your laptop.

Perhaps it was in the spur of the moment, or it was her muscles that moved on their own, when she had walked up towards the small desk, slamming her hands down on the table.

Eyes moving rapidly from your startled form towards the book ridden wall, she finds her words stuck in her throat, unable to form a coherent sentence.

You adjust your posture as you form a small smile, not knowing what to say.

“May I help you?”

Furina finds her face flaring up into fire as she rethinks her sudden movements, finding herself at a loss of words. She stares at you for a good while until you wave a timid hand in front of the famous school actress.

“Ah, I thought I saw a bug near you– haha…”

The heterochromia girl wanted to sink into a hole and never be seen again– what kind of excuse was that? – to her, it seemed like a loss of face as one of the best students with great acting in the drama club. 

“I… see. Thanks for your concern.” Your voice is laced with some bit of confusion, watching the flustered girl run outside of the library.

Interesting…

1) Befriending you

Furina, at first, finds this idea of hers quite easy.

“You know, I think befriending them is the easiest way to win their heart!” Her voice is filled with anticipation, until she gets shut down by another club member.

“But that can make them only see you as a friend, perhaps?” Yun Jin suggests, “It may not be a 100% possibility, but there’s a chance.”

“True, true, like, you might become one of those second leads that finds their romantic interest get taken away by someone else!” Hu Tao chimes, hands animatedly flailing around.

Furina slumps down on the chair as she sighs. Perhaps she just had to keep it to herself.

“But you can try to woo them, find out their interests maybe?” Nilou pitches an idea.

The white haired girl straightens back in her chair again, grabbing a hold of the red haired’s hands, heterochromic eyes sparkling as she hurriedly mutters out a thank you, running towards the library.

The three look at the door that Furina dashed out of, sharing a knowing look as they hear her footsteps fade.

The sliding door of the library opens as the girl slumps down a bit, taking some breaths as she makes her way to her usual spot to ‘read’, sneaking glances at your form typing away on your laptop. Tapping sounds of the keyboard is heard throughout the ambient silence as Furina closes her book, walking towards your desk as you look up at the approaching figure.

“May I help you?” You close your laptop as you tilt your head.

“Ah, no– I just, well, wanted to know you better– I think my actions yesterday shocked you a little, yeah?”

You smile as you nod slightly, finding some amusement in the obvious stuttering the famed actress’ words. You think you know what’s going on.

Furina conjures up a small smile, “So, as an… apology! I’d like to treat you to something you like, if you have the time…” voice fading as she waits for your response.

“I’m free today after club activities, is that okay with you?”

The girl in front of you perks up as she nods, the single lock of hair seemingly also bouncing up and down, thanking you for your time as she makes her way out of the library– in a calmer manner.

As the door closes, you can hear a faint, ‘Yay!’, with excited footsteps fading into the distance.

Cute.

2) Sitting closer

After Furina’s apology, the two of you became closer, finding the two of you going out regularly towards the small cafe outside of the school after club activities from school. Some days when one of you didn’t have the time, it felt slightly odd and empty, finding nothing interesting to do.

You haven’t noticed yet, but Furina thinks it’d be better for you to not to know, as she takes the seat opposite of you in the library as she opens the book to the bookmark she placed, blushing when she finds the exact book next to your arm, with a small paper folded saying ‘Furina’s’

The white haired girl thinks her club members– friends– are delusional when they tease her about how you may like her back.

She wishes it was true, but the chance of you liking her back in that way was way too low. Always slamming her forehead onto the round table in the drama room.

Today, she came from the drama room once again, though with a slight red marking on her forehead from the excessive slamming of her head onto the table, smiling weakly as you turn your head towards the library’s entrance, greeting her like you always did.

You refocus on your laptop again, until you jerk your head back towards Furina, eyebrows furrowing at the circular red swelling of her forehead. Standing up from your seat, you walk towards the white haired girl, brushing her hair from her face.

“You’re hurt…” 

Furina’s unable to think nor respond as she slightly malfunctions between the small distance from you to her, once again, finding herself at a loss for words.

You take the girl’s hand as you lead her towards the infirmary, setting Furina down on one of the beds as you search for a cooling pack in the fridge.

“You should be more careful next time, what if you get a concussion?” Your voice is laced with concern as you carefully pack the cold pack with tissue, setting it on the girl’s forehead.

“I accidentally slammed my head on the table too hard today– nothing serious!”

You sigh as you let Furina hold the ice pack on her head, making sure to check for any signs of other damage, until you find a small but bleeding cut on the top of her knee.

“What happened here?”

“I don’t know how that happened, really! I’m serious… I didn’t feel anything there–”

You rush to get some disinfectant and a bandaid, setting a chair towards the bed as you sanitise the cut, applying some pressure. Setting the bandaid on the small injury, you look at the girl as she stares back at you, dumbfounded and flustered.

You squint your eyes in confusion until you recall your actions, finding yourself flustered and bashful as well.

3) Trying to impress

The day after that small interaction was pretty normal.

“...I’m telling you, Furina, they definitely like you back!” an energetic voice is heard outside of the drama room as the said girl slaps her hands on Hu Tao’s mouth.

“Be quiet! I don’t want anyone to hear about this– I want to keep my dignity today!”

Yun Jin laughs as she agrees with Hu Tao, “I’m sure (y/n) likes you back, you said they were also flustered in the end as well, no?”

“But still– they could be just caring…”

This time, Nilou shakes her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of (y/n) doing that to any of their friends– I can try ask Tighnari– he’s one of their closest friends, if my memory serves me right.”

Slightly– quite obviously– desperate, Furina nods, clasping her hands around Nilou’s own.

“That’d be wonderful! Thank you so much, Nilou~”

A few days later, Nilou brings in newfound information from Tighnari about you.

“Apparently, they aren’t outwardly caring, but do care for their friends… oh! And he did say they seemed to find interest in someone in the school, but didn’t tell him who…”

Furina, with the first bit of information, perked up in glee, though soon dropped on the floor in some despair when she heard the latter.

“They definitely don’t like me back… archons, what will I do?”

As the imaginary rain and thunder cloud splashed tears of despair onto the white haired girl, Yun Jin speaks.

“That mysterious person could be you–”

“That, is being delusional!” Furina chides.

“Maybe you can try impressing them in some way?” Hu Tao mumbles, chin on hand, “They’re the librarian, right? Try reading something they like or something, I don’t know~”

With the brunette’s suggestion, the girl in distress seem to have a weight lifted off her shoulders as she smiles.

“Great idea, Hu Tao!”

And off went Furina, skipping towards the entrance of the library once again.

Yun Jin sighs in amusement, closing the room’s door, chuckling at how this situation felt like many cliches in romance dramas.

When the familiar footsteps of Furina’s shoes clacked on the wooden and marble tiles of the floor, you look towards the library entrance, expecting the white haired girl to arrive soon enough.

“Welcome back.”

Furina’s eyes seemingly brighten when she hears your voice, as she nearly skids towards the opposite seat, sitting down in front of you as she leans towards your laptop.

“So, (Y/n), I think I’ve ran out of books to read, any suggestions for books you like?”

The girl prides herself for not stuttering this time– she thinks that now, she perfected her acts to hide her feelings.

“Oh? Well– I don’t really have much suggestions, but I can lend you a book that I finished reading last week, if you’d like?”

The floating lock of white hair bobs up and down vigorously as Furina hears your suggestion. You smile a little, reaching down for your back and picking up the hardcover book.

“Tell me about it after you read it, yeah?”

“Alright~”

4) Jealousy?

Furina thinks she really isn’t the jealous type– especially when she isn’t in a relationship at all.

She also thinks that she shouldn’t really be jealous when she thinks–thinks– you smile more when you’re talking with Neuvillette.

But she can’t help but find a grimace settling on her face whenever she sees the tall white haired man in the library, taking her seat as you both talk about some matters surrounding costs in the library– it wasn’t something really meaningful, but perhaps it was the jealousy setting in, as she feels like the person you were interested in could be one of her friends– moreso babysitter– but still, she disliked the odd feeling in her chest.

“What if they like Neuvillette? I definitely saw them smiling–”

The rest of her words are muffled in her sweater sleeve as she buries her face, unable to knock the odd feeling in her chest.

“That’s your feelings acting up there, messes up with your logical view on a situation, Furina.” Yun Jin sighs, patting the despair stricken girl on the back.

“But still, think about it– it’s possible!”

Hu Tao seems to be fed up with Furina’s continuous despair, drawling out,“Yeah, yeah, what were they talking about anyway?”

The latter’s mouth thins out to a straight line. “Costs…”

Several sighs are heard from her club members, as the white haired girl peeks up from her arm.

“Yeah, no chance of (Y/n) liking Neuvillette, he’s in the student council, of course he’s going to talk about costs with the student librarian!”

Hu Tao sighs, hands and shoulders creating a shrugging motion as she slumps down to her chair.

Furina sighs as she slinks down on the chair, heterochromia eyes staring up at the ceiling.

However, the four club members’ attention is directed towards the door, several knocks heard from outside. Furina weakly speaks,

“Come in…”

Your hand slides open the wooden door to the drama club, waving a small ‘hi’ towards the startled three. Your shoes make little sounds on the floor as you tap the white haired girl’s shoulder, watching the girl immediately correct both her posture and expression.

“Are you still coming to the cafe? You weren’t near the library for a while, so I wanted to ask–”

“Oh, it’s already time? I guess I was a little caught off, haha– shall we go now?”

You nod, already near the entrance door as you wave back towards the three other members, taking the much happier girl in tow with you as the two of you walk towards the cafe outside of the school.

“I’m like, 1000% sure that they both like each other, it’s so suffocating–”

“Definitely.”

“I think so too…”

5) Your own interest.

In your opinion, you didn’t really find anyone in the school pretty interesting– though your friends, particularly Tighnari and Cyno, did comment that it was most likely due to how much time you spent stuck in the library.

It all changed when a random girl– which you later knew as one of the most popular and famous actress in the drama club in the school– slammed her hands in front of you.

After the small interaction, you found slight interest towards her, finding amusement whenever she tripped on her own heels, both metaphorically and literally, stuttering in the moments when the both of you were alone, and how she became more fidgety during those moments.

You didn’t know that you’d find someone as interesting and funny like Furina in your school years, but you think that this pretty much changed when you saw the girl hurt.

It must’ve been your subconcsiousness acting, because you barely remembered what happened, but you know you remember how Furina stared at you, face red hot, as you found yourself close and taking care of the injury. You remember how after that day, you’d find yourself blushing and warm thinking of the girl.

It was until Tighnari told you that Nilou– one of the other drama club members– asked him for some of your information, telling you his own thought– which you can directly quote,

“Maybe Furina asked her? They’re all pretty close, so it does make some sense.”

Especially when you told Tighnari about how you did find some interest in Furina, Tighnari did convey some information, though taking away some information just for some amusement.

It also didn’t really help when one of your other friends, as well as senior, Lisa, told you that your interest was most likely romantic attraction after you told some of your feelings about Furina towards the senior librarian.

With you, nearly a hundred percent sure about your feelings being reciprocated, waited for Furina to be at the library or its vicinity, but weren’t able to find her after your conversation with Neuvillette.

Perhaps, you think, she went home because of the cold? It is winter…

You take some hesitant but haste steps towards the drama room, knocking on the door as you hear the familiar yet uncharacteristic deflated voice of the white haired girl speak out a weak ‘come in’. You sigh in slight relief, knowing that she didn’t go home yet.

When the two of you make your way towards the cafe that the both of you mostly went after extracurricular activities, you decide to say your feelings– it was now or never.

“Wait, I have something to, uh, say.”

The girl next to you turns towards you, attention focused on your tensed form, eyebrows raising up in both confusion and anticipation.

“Uh… I– I like you, a lot, really…”

Furina’s face heats up, blinking incredulously at you as you look away, unable to look at the heterochromia eyed girl, finding interest in the falling snowflakes from the dark but nice clouds in the sky, though your head immediately turns back as you feel her hands taking your own.

“That’s– that… I– I like you too!”

You smile. Your confession definitely wasn’t one of the smoothest, nor was it the best– but you knew that now, your feelings were reciprocated.

“So, we’re official now?”

“Of course we are– besides, you should be feeling grateful that I– Furina– even liked you back~”

You bonk her head slightly as the two of you make your way towards the cafe, snow crunching on the pavement as you watch the warm orange fairy lights decorate the cafe.

“Merry Christmas.”

#the jellyfish's work #astronetwrk #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #furina x reader #furina fluff #furina x y/n #furina

[fumifooms]

Laimar crumbs

I wanted to compile all my laimar/marios crumbs to be able to look back at them whenever~ These are CRUMBS and I’m not arguing that all these moments were intended romantically, I have my shipping goggles on and picking every moment I think is meaningful and shippy for these two. I'm probably gonna have to split this in parts because it's gonna get long. Part 2 link

Content warning: spoilers for ALL of the Dungeon Meshi manga! Also blood & corpses in passing

They are so repressed aghhhh. I could go on forever about how Marcille is special to Laios because she was Falin’s first friend and was the only one to follow him into the dungeon for Falin and not the job, how from the get go they were linked by something more than work and that made him feel more comfortable with her. But my Laimar thesis is essentially: they are so sickeningly-sweet domestic and complementary. Their charm lies in their old couple "we’ll argue over what to have for dinner" familiarity with each other, having 0 filter. And also they’re funny together.

They’re so domestic… The way she touches him so fondly and easily and she helps him out of his armor 😭💕 How used is she to disrobing Laios that it's such a no-brainer action for her?

Which, touching is something she does easily without being embarrassed or deeper meaning, which is mostly due to the nature of being a healer beside her affectionate touchy-feely personality (that we can especially see when she interacts with Falin or Chilchuck), but that isn’t true at all for Laios, who we see is very awkward when it comes to touching someone.

--

Isn’t it so very interesting how Marcille being happy and not lonely aka her wish being fulfilled is the thing that makes Laios react here? The last thing he offers before Winged Lion goes like “it seems you’ve made up your mind~” in the next page.

I've already pointed out Marcille's smile being a special thing to Laios here but it bears being posted here again.

Laios has a "I want to learn more about Marcille face" that he does with no one else just saying.

Laios is always the one she instinctively clings to.

Imagine intimately knowing someone’s worst fear and having comforted them in a moment of pure naked weakness and that instance having had such a profound impact that it subconsciously affects them and their decision making. Laios truly was Marcille’s therapy dog. Pet the dog and fears will fly out

I am SCREAMING why is Marcille the one sitting right next to Laios?? His sister just got revived and Marcille is STILL sitting closer? She’s so right hand man coded they are so partners. I’m just saying having her sit right next to him at his right all the time is so <33 For a series like Dungeon Meshi all about eating metaphors and the importance of sharing a meal? To share that meal with her at his closest?? While Chilchuck and the rest of the party have their own lives in Laios' ideal world conjured up by the Winged Lion, besides Falin Marcille is the one shown to work in close quarters with him <3 It's his ideal world and he wants her to be there to support and help him daily, help... I’m planning to make a post on just that but for now:

They’ve been hinted to be complementary on a planning level so many times. Imagine the country they’ll make together fr!

Them both wanting to stay in the dungeon kingdom, looking like king and queen <3

Not Laios baiting Marcille with him finding her cute omfg.

Laios is the one who wordlessly takes charge of caring for sick Marcille and feeding her.

I could put the whole 96 bit of Laios being all sheepish asking Marcille to stay with him, going up to elfic authorities and telling them "Mine." with Marcille under his cape as his FIRST show of kingly authority (which could represent how Marcille is a good catalyst/motivation for Laios growing more comfortable in his shoes & role and being willing to truly chase something, instead of wandering and hiding his true self. She gives him courage). Honestly the first time I read it I was almost expecting him to propose when he dragged her into the forest holy shit. He's so cute and uncomfortable with showing affection or interest help, Marcille meanwhile the gossip romantic soul of the party being totally oblivious. More on this scene in part 2!!!!!

I ALSO could rant AGAIN about the whole Marcille is Laios’ succubus aka "most alluring form" thing but that’s a complex issue and I go in depth into it in this post

In conclusion they're soulmates both platonic and romantic no one can change my mind. They are so similar. They are so opposite. Laios flees from intimacy and she chases it. They are insecure. They kick ass. They unquestionably love each other, wether it be platonic or otherwise. They get on each other's case. They value each other's input and skills.

#dungeon meshi #laimar #marios #shipping crumbs #masterpost #fumi rambles #i do be a laimar truther but i got nothing but respect for any other shipper ofc. hi farcilles i love u guys don't kill me #some of these points i might repost separatedly bc some people highly prefer short posts. Gotta spread laimar propaganda

[harmonysanreads]

If you're still taking writing requests or suggestions, may I suggest the 5wirl boys comforting reader after the reader has a nightmare about losing them?

The timing of this ask lol I've been having weird (or interesting depending on the view) nightmares recently as well so some comfort after the disturbing experience would be very appreciated indeed. That aside, my personal headcannon is that all of the anemo boys have nightmares quite regularly, too. So, they'd probably understand better than anyone :)

──⚝ venti

If Venti's not passed out from drinking, it takes little hue and cry for him to notice. At first, he'd freak out a little, checking you over for injuries or anything of that sort. Then, he sighs in relief realizing it was just a nightmare that'd gotten you upset. Immediately, his whole countenance changes and he's guiding you to his hold, rocking you back and forth and vanishing your worries with the bestest melodies. His songs aren't just mere tunes, they're full on declaration of his eternal sentiment — you honestly become a little flustered in your sleepy haze. Venti has no shame admitting what he feels for you though, that cheeky smile you've come to adore never leaving his lips. And even if Venti was passed out from drinking, his tight embrace alone would reassure you that he'd never leave you or let you leave him.

──⚝ aether

One word : panic. He's immediately frantically trying to calm you down, holding you, wiping your tears, making funny faces to bring a smile to your face — the whole shebang. It's almost like you're a child he'd accidentally upsetted instead and when nothing works, starts crying with you, too. You're confused, he's confused and this abnormal reaction calms you down enough to croak out the reason of this predicament. Aether stops dead in the middle of wiping the tears off his face, deadpans and pulls your cheeks. Silly, silly, silly — take a good look at the state he's in, he'd rather drown in his own tears than ever leaving you.

──⚝ kaedehara kazuha

The calmest of the boys, he handles the situation so well that he deserves an award. When he's woken from his sleep with a perturbed you by his side, he's already cradling you in the safest embrace, whispering sweet nothings. He doesn't directly coax you to share your mind, but all his lulling actions offer such a sense of security you cannot help but bare your heart out to him. He's not deterred from his ministrations, either. Ever so intuitive, he guesses something else must've happened for your brain to conjure up something like that. Perhaps it was a person? That could be likely considering his idol disposition. Kazuha frowns, turning you to face him eye-to-eye, his hands hold yours firmly in an oath and he confesses that he belongs, and will forever belong to you and solely you ; this would be changed by no one, not even your subconscious.

──⚝ xiao

I think we all can agree he'd have the most nightmares out of all the anemo boys. Therefore, it's usually you comforting him and making him feel the most blessed man in existence. Xiao is nowhere near ungrateful either, so he harbours great appreciation for your kindness, taking mental notes in case the positions were to be switched. He engraves in his mind how nice it feels when you hold him and run your hand through his hair, humming gentle tunes but never probing him to recount what he'd seen, showing through your actions instead how much you treasure him. He may be extremely inexperienced in all of this but he's quick and determined to learn for you. When the predicted shift did happen though, he was a little panicked as well but not as intense as Aether. If anything, seeing him try so hard to comfort you makes you the happiest anyway. Ends up composing songs to confess the things he couldn't say to you in the moment <3

──⚝ shikanoin heizou

Detective Heizou had sensed something amiss the moment he found the other side of the bed vacant. He at first tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but when a considerable amount of time had passed with no signs of you returning, he decided to follow the clues. A mystery indeed, sounds of sniffing, weary figure— he deducted you were bothered by another nightmare again. Sneakily, he snaked his arms around your form from behind and began spinning you around til you couldn't keep the giggles in and now both of you were laughing like teenagers over silly jokes. Much more relaxed, he asked you what the nightmare was about. With some reluctance, you shared the contents. You felt the earlier horror returning to you but Heizou was having none of it ; scooping you up in a princess carry (you wonder where he gets such strength, honestly), sweet whisperings lost in the moonlight. Sshh, do not worry, just let him show you how much he loves you so that such fickle dreams won't ever bother you again.

#writers block sucks:( #this was pretty fun to write though<3 #not yandere #void-dreaming #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #5wirl x reader #5wirl #venti x reader #aether x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #heizou x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcannons #venti x you #aether x you #kazuha x you #xiao x you #heizou x you #shikanoin heizou x you #kaedehara kazuha x you #genshin impact fanfiction

[twitteringthings]

Chapter 56. Whose Inner Monologue?

Now, having my wits back about me after the sneak peak drop yesterday, I want to discuss the “I want a reason to stay by your side” and “This person has been suppressing his emotions” dialogue on the cover. I want to believe they are coming from Y but I believe that it could go either way after having read other interpretations/views. So I’m going to make an argument for why the inner monologue could be coming from either of them.

Doumeki

• He is the one who came back, - without having a reason to - Yashiro didn’t chase after him. So maybe he’s going to confess and make it known why he returned without obligation.

•The “this person has been suppressing his emotions” would make sense for D to say because he is the one looking down at Yashrio in a pretty vulnerable position, kind of with a analyzing gaze. Y is probably being perceived by D in this moment.

•He just found out about Ys impotency so now he knows for sure that he only reacts to D’s touch. He’s probably figured out by now (if he hasn’t that would be wild) that the Y Inami talks about and the Y he made love to are completely different people. So it would also make sense for him to say that Y has been suppressing his feelings because now he knows the truth about Ys sexual encounters and sexual state.

• It’s hard to imagine Yashiro being so open with his thoughts when we haven’t really seen him be completely honest with himself thus far (and put his feelings so plainly). Probably excluding his “I’ve constantly been searching for the old you” and “is that why you didn’t hold me like before?.”

•As I said in a previous post, D wanted Y then and he still wants him now. This time is a little different since it seems D won’t fully give himself to Y until he hears some form of emotional reciprocity. But D can’t handle completely leaving Y alone just because his boss told him to back down. So I could see this as a “last chance to tell me how you really feel” encounter.

•Obviously D knows he’s been holding back in every encounter with Y, so maybe he’s acknowledging that here? I’m not sure if the exact translation is “I’ve been suppressing feelings” or “this person.” So for this idea I’ll assume it’s the former.

•Last one haha. Y looks vulnerable on the cover, and his back is turned. What if the inner monologue is coming from D while he is looking at/imagining Yashiro?

Yashiro

•After the stoic way D has been acting, and after he came back suddenly without cause, Y has probably pieced together why he’s there hence “this person is holding back feelings” (But idk though because Y is terrible at reading Doumeki). I don’t think Yashiro was even be able to tell D was suppressing his emotions during their time together because he just assumed D acted that way because hated him, lol. Yashiro thinks that the old Doumeki is gone.

•Maybe Y was conjuring up a way to become entangled in Doumeki’s group drama to be close to him again (hence finding a reason to stay by Doumeki’s side), but idk that seems out of character for Y. He can’t stand the Yakuza.

•Annnnd I ran out of solid evidence for Yashiro… (I really don’t want to give up on my boy though ugh!). I want Y to be honest with himself in this way but once I started to collect my thoughts, there was way more evidence that points to the inner monologue coming from D rather than Y.

ALSO, It’s so interesting that this time it’s “I want a reason to stay by your side” and not just “I want to stay by your side.” Does this imply that the reason they both need this time around is a confession?honesty? If these are D’s thoughts, I believe he’s thinking “it’s not enough that I want to be with you, I need you to choose me and tell me that you want me too” and that would be his reason to stay. If they are Y’s thoughts then maybe he’s looking for the same thing from D. I can imagine his subconscious saying “I need to know for sure, I have to know that my heart is safe with you. This can’t be another unrequited love. Do you really hate me?”

I swear, Yoneda Kou is such a TEASE.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yashiro #doumeki x yashiro #manga #yaoi bl #yaoi #doumeki chikara #yaoi manga #saezuru #saezuru month #saezuru feels #yoneda sensei what are you doing to me #saezuru spoilers

[bluginkgo]

I know I'm late here with this one, but man does this make me all the more excited.

Ramble warning ahead and spoilers I guess

Oh hai, Cyn! Haven't seen you in a while! Now, this post could be another one of those N posts glitch made to promote the N plush dog. And I'm not gonna lie, they got us good. (Not discarding the theory that shot might still come up in eps 7 and 8, but I highly doubt it.) But this is coming from Liam himself! So I'd like to put more faith in the little snippet he gave us.

I've seen many people theorize that this might be what the absolute solver host's mind might look like when full possession takes place. I'm sold, I love that. I can imagine it, N and Uzi fighting whatever the thing is in the Cabin Fever labs. Uzi somehow ends up either being knocked out or full possession occurs, either way, her subconsciousness is transported into this realm of red. This might be the place where all the hosts' minds connect- the hive mind/cloud based system. Here, Uzi might meet Cyn and even Nori- I know I'm stretching it, but this is just me rambling my own thoughts. And keeping on with my belief in good Cyn theory, Cyn might help Uzi out. She might tell Uzi the origin of the absolute solver- how the AI error came about.

Because the technicians knew about this issue. Improper disposal of worker drones, and the rejection of the kill code causes future OS issues. And in the tiniest print possible, show the 0.7% chance of a hazardous mutation. They might not know what brought this on though. Artificial intelligence is what we make it to be. If bad information is given, then we are given bad results. It'll be interesting to see if in fact the mutation is just that, a one time off chance, or if something is lurking further, or if the absolute solver has always been around and only has been able to take control via the worker drones that JCJenson built because you know, humanity is really good at orchestrating their own demise.

But back to the other crack theory. Uzi might end up chatting with Cyn or directly with the Absolute Solver, all the while her body is posessed by the said Absolute Solver. She'd be going on another rampage, probably fighting N. At the last possible minute, snap back and somehow resolve the issue with the Absolute Solver- cliche I know, but hey, if those cliches are done well, I love them.

But the red fits really well. Seeing as the Absolute Solver always ends up making some sort of red flesh webs.

So for the consciousness/hive mind to conjure up an all red place for its hosts, it'd be a cool design choice.

Or, as per usual, I could be looking in too deep with a single image that Liam graciously fed us with.

#bluginkgo's rambles/theories #murder drones #glitch productions #serial designation n #uzi doorman #md uzi doorman #md uzi #murder drones theory #murder drones nori #nori doorman #n murder drones #murder drones n #md n #n md #murder drones uzi #md nori #the absolutesolver #murder drones absolute solver #absolute solver #murder drones cabin fever #murder drones cyn #md serial designation n #murder drones serial designation n #murder drones ep 5 #murder drones ep 7 #murder drones episode 7 #murder drones ep 8

[barelytolerabled]

Dreams Unveiled

Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: When a vivid nightmare surfaces, Spencer Reid finds himself confiding in you, his trusted colleague and friend.

Warnings: none

WC: 1.209

Taglist: @envraijesaispas @rosecentury @taygrls @thisismeraki @thenerdthatwrites @bigbunnygucci @jordie-gvf @cynbx @saturnstringz

"So I had a nightmare," Spencer Reid confessed, his voice tinged with embarrassment.

You raised an eyebrow, your curiosity piqued. "Ooh. Interesting. What was it about?"

Spencer's cheeks flushed as he struggled to find the right words. "It was... uh... a wet dream about you."

You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by his candid admission. "That's... Pardon?"

"Look, I'm sorry," Spencer stammered, feeling his face grow hotter by the second. "It was just a dream, and I can't control what my subconscious conjures up. It doesn't mean anything, and I certainly didn't mean to make things awkward between us."

You took a moment to process Spencer's words, a mix of surprise and amusement dancing in your eyes. You crossed your arms, a playful smile forming on your lips. "Well, Dr. Reid, you have quite the imagination."

"I swear, I didn't mean to—"

You interrupted him with a gentle laugh. "Relax, Spencer. I understand dreams can be weird sometimes. Besides, we spend so much time together, and it's only natural for our minds to wander, even when we sleep."

Spencer's tension eased slightly at your understanding response. "You're not mad?"

You shook your head, your smile growing wider. "Not at all. In fact, it's a bit flattering."

Spencer's eyes widened, his surprise evident. "Flattering?"

You stepped closer to him, your voice low and teasing. "Yes, flattering. It means you find me attractive enough to dream about."

Spencer's mouth went dry as his brain struggled to process your words. This conversation was taking an unexpected turn. "Well, I mean, you are attractive, but that doesn't mean—"

You placed a finger on his lips, effectively silencing his rambling. "Spencer, I understand that dreams don't always reflect reality. But if you ever want to explore any fantasies outside of your dreams, you know where to find me."

A mix of excitement and nervousness coursed through Spencer's veins. He had always admired you, your beauty, and your intelligence, but he never expected a conversation like this to take place. His heart raced, and his mind filled with possibilities.

"Are you serious?" Spencer managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your eyes sparkled with mischief as you leaned in closer. "As serious as a heart attack, Doctor Reid."

Spencer's lips curved into a shy smile as he glanced into your eyes, the initial awkwardness fading away. "Well, then... maybe I should have more nightmares."

You laughed softly, your hand gently brushing against his arm. "Or perhaps you should let me show you that reality can be even better than your dreams."

Spencer Reid couldn't help but feel a sense of exhilaration and anticipation. Maybe, just maybe, his nightmare had turned into something unexpectedly wonderful. And as you both stood there, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the promise of an intriguing new chapter waiting to unfold

A few days after, you and Spencer Reid arrived at the BAU office slightly later than usual. The team glanced up from their desks, curiosity evident in their eyes. They had noticed the change in dynamics between you and Spencer over the past few days and couldn't help but wonder what had transpired.

Morgan was the first to speak up, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Well, well, look who finally decided to join the land of the living. Late night, huh?"

You exchanged a knowing glance with Spencer before answering, a playful smirk on your face. "Oh, you have no idea. Spencer here had a pretty intense nightmare last night, and he wasn't feeling too good. So, I took care of him."

The team's eyebrows shot up in surprise, their intrigue growing. Hotch, ever the stoic leader, leaned forward, his tone neutral. "Is everything alright, Reid?"

Spencer shifted slightly, a hint of pink dusting his cheeks. "Yes, Hotch, everything's fine now. It was just a bad dream, but Y/N was kind enough to be there for me."

JJ, unable to contain her curiosity, chimed in. "What kind of nightmare was it?"

Spencer shifted uncomfortably, his cheeks tinged with a slight blush. "They were...uh... not something I'm comfortable discussing in detail."

You exchanged a knowing glance with Spencer before answering with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. "Let's just say it was a rather vivid one involving a lot of spiders. But don't worry, I took care of them too."

Garcia, who had been listening attentively, gasped dramatically. "My poor baby boy! I'll make sure to bring some extra coffee for you next time. Nightmares are no joke."

You chuckled, appreciating the team's concern and light-hearted banter. "Thanks, Garcia. I'm sure Spencer would appreciate the extra caffeine."

During the day, the team continued to express their support and concern, but they tactfully avoided pressing for more details about Spencer's nightmares. They understood the importance of privacy and respected your boundaries.

As the team returned to their work, you and Spencer settled into your desks, stealing subtle glances at each other. The events of the previous night were still fresh in your minds, and the newfound connection between you was palpable.

Throughout the day, you both carried out your duties as FBI profilers with the usual precision and focus. But there was an underlying current of shared secrets and stolen glances that added a touch of excitement to the air.

During lunch break, you found yourselves alone in the breakroom. Spencer glanced at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I can't believe we actually told them about my nightmare."

You chuckled, taking a sip of your coffee. "Well, it was partially true. Just didn't mention the other details."

Spencer's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Right, the part where you took care of me."

You shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, friends take care of each other, right? Besides, it gave us a good cover story."

Spencer's smile widened, and he reached across the table, gently taking your hand in his. "Thank you for being there for me. You've always been amazing, but last night... it meant a lot."

You squeezed his hand, warmth spreading through your chest. "Spencer, I care about you. And I'm glad I could help. We're in this together, remember? It meant a lot for me too."

His gaze softened, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. "Yes, we are."

The rest of the day flew by, and as the evening approached, you and Spencer found yourselves walking side by side, leaving the BAU office. The shared experiences and newfound intimacy had brought you closer, and the bond between you was unspoken but strong.

As you reached your car, Spencer turned to you, his eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you for taking care of me last night. I appreciate it more than I can express."

You smiled, stepping closer to him. "You don't have to thank me, Spencer."

He leaned in, brushing a gentle kiss against your cheek. "I'm the lucky one to have you in my life."

With that, you bid each other goodbye, carrying the promise of a deeper connection and the anticipation of what the future might hold. The nightmare that had initially caused a moment of embarrassment had led to something beautiful—an unexpected journey of love and understanding that had only just begun.

#criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer x reader #spencer reid one shot

[belle--ofthebrawl]

@forlorn-crows Mountain/Rain/Cumulus skincare ficlet part two: They're naked and in a hotel room. For Mountain Monday/March.

Nasty under the cut.

Some things never change, Mountain thinks as he stares at the television and listens to Rain and Cumulus giggle in the shower. Whatever they're doing in the bathroom is infinitely more interesting than the talk show he flipped on when they settled in. Him and Rain originally, until Cumulus had knocked on their connecting door in a demand to be let in. She’d brushed by him with a quick little air kiss before brandishing two tubs of a matching scrub and lotion set at Rain. He took one and had studied the ingredients with an approving look.

“Is that why you didn't join my shower?” Mountain asked before receiving a lazy shrug and a nod.

“Make it up to you.” Rain promised, tossing the tub up in the air. He caught it and shook it at Mountain. The label boosts claims of the relaxing properties of lavender and honey, amongst other things before the pair disappear into the bathroom. They leave the door open, but Mountain can't spy on them since it's parallel to the bed.

Rude.

So, since Rain promised to make it up to him, he fantasizes about what they're doing in the shower instead. It's easy to imagine their bodies under the spray of water. How they adjust the shower head to make it work for two. He sees Rain’s hand sinking into Cumulus' hair to scrub it clean and in turn she washes his back. Maybe let her fingers creep forward to cup the small handful of his tits.

His cock sits fat in his boxers, intrigued by all the images his mind is able to conjure up. He soothes it with a squeeze of his fingers and thinks about putting Rain on his back, bending his nimble legs until his knees are by his ears so he can't squirm away as Mountain fucks him.

He sees an elegant hand disappearing between gorgeous thighs. Suds collecting in her ample cleavage when she crosses her arms and Rain’s clever tongue finding out if the body scrub tasted like honey as well. Sees their lips red from kissing and faces flushed from the hot water, knuckle deep inside each other as they make out, their nipples brushing against each other's, tingling and budding up firm.

The water shuts off. Rain mutters something unintelligible and Cumulus' returning laugh has a tinge of nastiness to it. His subconscious recognizes a threat. His body only knows something very good is going to happen and poor Mountain still thinks he's going to come out on top.

“It's so creamy.” Cumulus coos as she unscrews a lid. “Dip your fingers in it.”

“Like silk…” Rain agrees. “Come closer, let me rub you right.”

A lewd, wet slap of skin on skin. Cumulus makes a noise that starts as a moan and tapers off into a snicker.

“More…” she demands. “I want it all over me.”

“Plenty for both of us.” Rain murmurs. “It’s big enough to share.”

“C’mere, let me smear it on your cute little tits.”

“Ah!” Rain’s voice goes straight to Mountain’s cock. “Watch it, I’m sore.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” Cumulus tsks. He can imagine her wet curls bouncing as she mockingly shakes her head. “Heat soon?”

“Probably, knowing my luck.” Rain sounds annoyed but when Mountain gets his hands on him, he knows Rain will be happy enough with all the effort he puts in. “At least I brought my favorite toy with me.”

Mountain is slightly miffed at that, frowning in befuddlement. He was right here. But then he thinks about Rain with a toy knotting his pretty mouth while Mountain stretched his cunt and decides it's probably not the worst thing in the world to have assistance. He tugs his waistband down just enough so that his cock springs free, wagging ridiculously in the air, already ruddy and wet at the tip. He gives himself a nice tug and sighs in pleasure.

“Think your toy’s probably playing with itself right about now.” Cumulus says with a smile in her voice. Mountain considers this statement and feels his face grow warm, even as his cock throbs under his palm.

“He just can't control himself.” Rain sighs. “Help me get ready?”

Out of spite, Mountain carefully takes his hand off his cock and lays it by his side. Spite. Yeah. He’s gonna flip Rain on the bed and replace his mean comments with the sound of his cock sliding in and out of his tight little hole.

Totally.

“Bend over.” Cumulus tells him, sounding amused and Mountain is helpless to stop his low moan. Rain, bent over the counter top as Cumulus sinks her fingers into his cunt. The gasp as she hits something good, good and deep. Mountain will hit it better.

“He's got such a dirty mind.” Rain comments. Probably thinks we’re already fucking in here.”

“I can hear you.” Mountain calls.

“You're meant to.” They reply in unison, sweetly.

“I'm putting mousse in his hair.” Cumulus continues with a scoff. “Okay, straighten up and flip.”

A wet thwack as Rain’s hair hits his skin.

“And it's cold.” Rain complains. “I hate cold product.”

Mountain has no reply to that. The trap is closing in.

Cumulus is the first to leave, wrapped in a towel that can barely contain her figure, clutched almost absently as she prowls to the bedside. Mountain lays as still as he can. She might complain about small towels but no one else does and she never brings her own from home so she can't mind that much. She's even nice enough to let it drape open a little bit as she seats herself on the bed, letting Mountain get a nice view of her tits and stomach, the soft white curls of the hair between her legs.

She just smiles at him, a fang dimpling her plush lower lip and leans forward to blow hot over the head of his cock. It twitches and she laughs at him. Brushes a damp ringlet out of the way so she can give the mushroom head of it a wet, suckling kiss.

Mountain cusses, scrubs at his face.

“He's ready.” She says softly and Mountain can't figure out if it’s directed at him or Rain. Then, louder, she says, “Hey, Cir. You wanna make a bet?”

“Maybe.” Calls Cirrus from the adjoining room. “On what?”

“How fast Mounty blows.” Cumulus replies, eyes glinting in delight at his whimper.

Rain joins them in silence. No clever repartee or cruel comment to dig under Mountain’s skin. He’s in nothing but his knee high socks and a pair of hip hugging cotton underwear, both in black. Mountain looks to him for help as Cumulus wraps her hand tight around the base of his cock.

“Oh no.” Rain says when he says how mournful Mountain looks. “I need to make sure you can last. Since you decided to go ahead and play without me.”

“What did I do to deserve this.” Mountain mumbles as Rain climbs on the bed. Straddles his waist and lets Cumulus line Mountain’s cock up to his cunt. Rain tugs his panties to the side and lets the head brush back and forth through his folds. Mountain could sob at the feel of it.

“Oh, quit whining.” Rain says dismissively. Sinks down just enough to pop the head in. “You're getting some, that's all you should care about.”

“Pervert.” Cumulus adds and laughs when Mountain’s cock kicks.

“Fifteen strokes.” Cirrus calls.

“Do we count this first one?” Cumulus wonders as Rain sinks further and further onto the thick cock she's holding so nicely for him. Mountain doesn't dare buck his hips.

“Freebie.” Rain says dismissively, rolling his hips to take the last few inches in. He sits in Mountain’s lap, speared fully on his cock and crosses his arms. Grinds until he hits that sweet spot and makes a happy little sigh. Cumulus rests her free hand over his abdomen and pushes until Mountain’s eyes cross at the feel of her prodding him from outside of Rain’s body.

“Ten.” Cumulus says casually.

The hole he’s already fit so snugly into gives a nice little squeeze around his length. Mountain swears, fists the sheets and kicks his legs as he feels his balls draw up.

“Five.” Rain says, not even batting an eyelash as Mountain’s eyes roll.

#nsft #mountain ghoul #cumulus ghoulette #rain ghoul #ficlet #i wish i could control what i wrote. #this is not what i sat down to finish.

[sanwrote]

someone in my dash is liveblogging the succubi chapters in dunmeshi. and. damn. i love that part so much.

i specially like how revelatory the conjured images are about the ways all of the characters think about desire.

chilchuck's is the most straightfoward one: a halfling blonde beauty. it's absolutely what i thought the chapter would be about (figuring out their "types", the traits they find attractive suddenly manifested as reality). we as an audience also have zero confirmation if this entity looks at all like his ex-wife because of course chilchuck would never confirm or deny that.

marcille's gets a little more abstract. marcille doesn't conjure someone that could be a real person trying to seduce her, but this specific fictional character that she likes (the half elven guy from her romance novels). marcille's succubus has been dissected to death but i really dig how it reinforces things we know about marcille: she loves fictionalized narratives (i mean, she's always speculating about other people's loves lives the way one would interact with a story) and expressing her desires in the relm of fantasy. that guy is also her favorite half elven hero so, as a half elven woman, this is a form of self love for her. it's cute and also hilarious because LOOK at him.

laios' is..... honestly incredible. there's so much going on there. he sees marcille, implying that he's subconsciously attracted to her. but there's a catch: of course succubi marcille is not only secretly a monster but she also claims to possess the ability to turn him into a monster. it's one of two instances where we learn of how much marcille's necromantic transgression left a mark on him (the other being the doppleganger chapter, where he envisions marcille the way she looked on the day she ressurected falin). here, he sees marcille as an actor of transformation and that's the way in which he finds her desirable. super interesting stuff. and, well, there's also his furry inclinations and his wish to become a monster himself. but that part is much more obvious.

izutsumi's succubi are my favorite ones, though. she sees a black panther (something her cat half finds attractive! lmao) and also what her human side thinks a loving mother would look like. it's so bittersweet. much like chilchuck's succubus, it's impossible to tell if this is what izutsumi's actual mother looked like or if it's just a mix of half remembered memories and her own longing.

i think this gets even sadder with the information that izutsumi is a cat with a human soul trapped in it. izutsumi wants to be human, longs for humanity, but her human body is long gone. if she were to separate her human soul from her body (like she wishes), she would just be a cat. and this is the thing that always makes me a bit emotional while revisiting this section.

#dungeon meshi #long post #always thinking about girlcat izutsumi. the reveal that shaked my world

[blazinghotfoggynights]

My Mind Did That Thing Again!

You know, where it sees something, then takes off in a random direction for no reason other than it can and it's fun. So, I had a crazy thought last season and it just kind of...experienced an accelerated unchecked growth spurt today after reading the info about the next ep's and the upcoming eps's titles. *looks at the titles of the remaining episodes* 🤨

I have a WIP that I began the night the lightning strike episode premiered last season. Let me preface this by saying the fic is nowhere near complete. (I'm in no hurry. That is the beauty of fandom. You can offer a fic forty years after a show ends and the devoted fans will still be there.) The plan is still for it to be a series with several entries, all of which are multi-chaptered.

Why am I bringing this up? Because it's that time again folks where my imagination runs wild and I ask you all to play 'I know this is crazy, but just hear me out and humor me". For those who have seen this game, participated, and maybe even enjoyed it, you are awesome!

So, the game is played just like the title states. Let's go! (I put the insanity under a cut. If you move forward, I am not responsible for anything that happens!

We know Shannon and most of Eddie's family are supposedly going to appear in the next ep, right? (I say supposedly because you can't really trust anything that gets leaked. Remember that karaoke scene?)

What if it's because Eddie Diaz is balancing on a thin wire between the living and dead? He is close enough to the other side to see Shannon, but still physically hanging on in this plane.

You're probably rolling your eyes and wondering, "What the hell does this have to do with last season?" That's okay and I will tell you.

What if, all this time, we've been viewers of Eddie's coma dream? What if the person who actually died and had to be revived was Eddie? Everything that has happened since then has all been a figment of his imagination.

I'm not saying this is plausible, probable, or practical. I'm just having some fun. (I write. I paint. I am creative. Some say cray cray, but what is normal anyway?)

Now, if I look at what has transpired between then and now, I could point out a few things that could support that theory. (You can call me crazy later. I'm used to it.)

1- Eddie was hit by the lightning.

Eddie was hit first, but just hopped right up? I know some people will say the lightning threw him, but let's look at simple science. To be affected by the electricity, he had to experience the electricity. It was powerful enough to throw him off the truck.

Eddie was hit.

2- Eddie was not in Buck's dream.

Why? If it is really Eddie having the dream, but imagining it is Buck, it's possible he can't conjure a dream version of himself.

I thought it was interesting that Christopher was in the dream and asking Buck for help. Maybe it's Eddie's subconscious reminding him that Christopher will be taken care of by the man he trusted enough to give his son to should he be incapacitated.

3- The scene at the graveyard.

Why on Earth did they go to the victim's grave? Don't they have a rule of letting go at the door? Why would Eddie go to the cemetery and stand over the grave of someone he did not know having a heart-to-heart with Buck?

4- The death doula wasn't a doula.

She was death. Natalia taking Buck away the first time could have been Eddie coding. In his dream, Buck was leaving him, when in reality he was leaving Buck. Natalia coming back could have been Eddie moving toward death again, but managing to escape it's grasp once more. The final breakup? Eddie was resurging.

5- The bachelor party.

What about Eddie Diaz in the past six seasons would point to what he and Buck did? He got smashed, destroyed a hotel room with a bunch of strangers, and all in the name of a bachelor party for a man who didn't want one and was not even there.

The party could have been his subconscious rapidly processing a lot of information, both conscious and subconscious, suddenly. The drag queens? Come on now. Everything with that show is intentional and that scene was disjointed, chaotic, and completely unhinged. None of that is Eddie Diaz.

6- Marisol

Eddie is not into that woman. He is clinging to her for some reason and he fast forwarded through the relationship. Did the Eddie Diaz of seasons 2-early 6 seem like the type of father to let some woman he barely knows supervise his son's dates, babysit Christopher, and move in?

Or was it Eddie's mind simply pulling a woman he had met briefly into his subconscious and building a story around her?

(For those who are science nerds or just fascinated by psychology, there is a theory our minds can't create faces and every person in your dream is someone you have at least seen in passing.)

6- Tommy

It has been mentioned soooo many times how similar Eddie and Tommy are.

That is all I will say on that topic.

For now.

If you made it all the way through, I will end it by saying this.

This may be a crazy idea about the show, but it will happen. If it doesn't in canon, it will in fic. This is why I love fandom. 😁

#Lou Eng's musings #Lou Eng's takes #911 #911 abc #911 on abc #9 1 1 buddie #buddie #buck x eddie #buddie 911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz x evan buckley #eddie x buck #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #my mind can be a scary place-Lou Eng #Lou Eng's take

[foxes-that-run]

The 1

The 1 is talking to an ex and updating them on her life, we got to see it reenacted at the 2021 Grammys when Folklore won AOTY:

The 1 was written between March and July 2020. It had not been long since Harry and Taylor saw each other, we know of at least at Ed Sheeran's Wedding in September. Lover and Fine Line (on Taylors 30th Birthday) came out since then, 2019 had been a big year.

In the long pond sessions Taylor and Aaron talked about how it reflects the whole album. Which is interesting when Taylor also sang in Gold Rush that her mind turns Harry's life “into folklore”.

I see The 1, Cardigan and Exile as one conversation (I'll get to Betty). From pleasantries, expressing support and then rehashing their end.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "yes" instead of "no" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though I hit the ground running each night I hit the Sunday matinée You know the greatest films of all time were never made

In the long pond sessions Taylor said the opening line has a double meaning, that the sound of folklore was a new direction and that she was being open to new experiences personally.

Taylor has a similar line to the bus stop, in Cardigan, which is almost a continuation of The 1, “I knew I'd curse you for the longest time / Chasin' shadows in the grocery line” both capture that feeling of subconsciously looking for someone

Taylor says she’s busy, hits the ground running and fits as much as she can in. Ironic lines in a pandemic. The matinee line sounds like she made time to see Dunkirk, but maybe that's just me.

“The greatest films of all time were never made.” I love this line, she’s reflecting that their relationship was cut short. She also refers to it as a film later in the conversation in Exile. The wildest dreams music video also refers to them as Taylor and Burton

[Pre-Chorus] I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

In the pre-chorus Taylor reflects on the different views of their relationship in 1989 compared to HS1. They have both said they don’t communicate in person what they can in song.

'If you never bleed your never gonna grow' there is a similar line in Woman on HS1: "he’s right where I should, where I should be but you’re making me bleed”. The reference here is that Harry should have shared his feelings sooner, or then but didn't.

However, in Cruel Summer however, Taylor said "And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know, oh" so it seems mutual to hide their feelings.

In Olivia, Harry said “This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love”

It's alright is a reference to Fine Line's "We'll be a fine line / We'll be alright"

[Chorus] But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one (Ooh)

I love “roaring 20’s” like, it refers to both her age and “it was so Gatsby that year” from TIWWCHNT, referring the party 1989 era before the gates shut in Reputation. 20 is a Haylor theme also

Also tossing pennies and wishes reminds you of I wish you would.

ME! Also includes “I can never leave well enough alone”

Taylor has described their relationship as 'like the mall before the internet' in Coney Island, an incredibly fun place.

[Verse 2] I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

I love the second verse, she is hoping that her muse is living a happy new life. To me 'adventures on your own' conjures up Harry's post One Direction career. Which it may have been with his second album freshly released.

'We never painted by the numbers' is similar to 'you painted my nights a colour I have searched for since' in Question..?

[Pre-Chorus] I guess you never know, never know And it's another day waking up alone [Bridge] I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?

Taylor has a few songs that explore Haylor What Ifs:

Cardigan "I knew you would haunt all of my what-if's"

INTHAF Imagines what if they had met as children, and

Suburban Legends imagines a fantasy of them surprising the whole school in a 1950's gym, as a metaphor for being a power couple at a high profile event.

Slut! “Aquamarine, moonlit swimmin' pool / What if all I need is you?”

We were something, don't you think so? Rosé flowing with your chosen family And it would've been sweet If it could've been me In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time But it would've been fun If you would've been the one (Ooh)

More Haylor rosé since Maroon: "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how".

Digging up the grave also reminds us of the opening of Look at what you made me do, where Taylor emerges as a Zombie wearing a dress similar to the one she wore in Out of the Woods.

#haylor #the 1 taylor swift #folklore

[overdicebro]

Slay the Princess is a masterpiece, we already experienced the full game and walked endless playthroughs just to see how many changed and how many did not. Stp as the complete game is beautiful enough but I think we need to talk about the demo too, in the demo not much was revealed except the complete chapter 1s and a glimpse of the chapter 2 so we only get to just conjure some thoughts about the game's plot with what the game has, idk but I've been watching the game's demo since on Manlybadasshero's channel so yeah it was my introduction to the game.

So I've been rewatching the demo videos and I think there's something interesting about our assumptions before and how they differ in the full game, but even with our assumptions it still can be true since that's the games nature. Before I remember that many people believed that the narrator was the one who pulled all the strings and the narrator is bigger than both TLQ & TSM, some already caught on the main plot of the game but there were many comments discussing theories about the game is essentially just a "what if?" alternate version of Knights & Princess games, and how it's an edgy and more darker version of Stanley Parable etc. with the narrator gaslighting you and stuff. But the main thing is that the narrator was a BIG direction of the game and it's mystique led as to believe as such.

And I'm always emphasizing that one Nightmare Scene where she took off her mask is what made ME to believe that there could be a backstory to this. But there isn't, there wasn't people that could back up the background of the Princess, there aren't animals found in the world(construct), there were no birds but trees, there wasn't a story of the Princess that could back her up that she's HUMAN or even a real princess at that. Because she isn't a princess or THE princess, she's the Shifting Mound titled as a princess. (Quick Tangent here: I think the Narrator could have made TSM into something else rather than a princess, he could have made her a seamstress as he likes; maybe the Narrator just doesn't like royalty)

Especially TLQ, it's already given that he isn't human but his voices and his choices morale make him seem human a little. Many people in the comments actually thought TLQ was made to be a bird-like creature to be diverse to its players. There aren't exactly hints at the demo that we are a god and the half of TSM because the focus was centered on the Princess, even he has no backstory, no background, no nothing.

It was obvious that the 2 didn't really have a life except the plot device of TLQ slaying the Princess. So that should've been a big sign to ME atleast that I shouldn't expect a backstory or something to make things less vague. I thought in the complete game we will be given more hints about the 2(+narrator) and expand more on the personal things.

But no, in the full game we were given answers to our previous questions but were also given more. The “world” was just a construct representing many more worlds to be devoid of change. That's why there weren't many living beings surrounding the Construct, just Shifty & Gary (+ the trees). Because the Narrator wanted a scripted situation to happen in order to release his tension regarding death.

So basically the Narrator is actually the only one with an ACTUAL backstory, yet his story and where he come from isn't expanded more because, again, the game is centered around the two TLQ & TSM. 2 Gods and concepts reuniting again after being separated by a desperate man with a fear of death.

So again BASICALLY what my assumptions of how the Narrator was BIGGER than the two. He is actually smaller than the CONCEPTS of Permanence and Change. He tried to desperately remove death from the universe which is actually badass af by splitting the pair and making the other kill the other.

It just hurts my brain to think that the plot I subconsciously made was so drastically different compared to the final game. Yet it's satisfying at the same time, cause tbh I was expecting for there to be boss fight with the Narrator and finally breaking out of the artificial plot, instead we got an argument with Shifty and finally breaking out the artificial plot. Which is essentially the same thing just a WHOLE different execution of what I thought.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk

THIS SHI LONG ASFF bro I should go to sleep goodnight peeps

#slay the princess #stp #slay the princess spoilers #black tabby games

[pianostarinwonderland]

damn ok malleus

yes. i am back. and i am gonna not shut up about the last main story update but specifically about the mixed opinions on Malleus' actions.

There's been interesting sides I've seen, both on Twitter and Discord. You have the Malleus stans, mostly the Malleyuu stans, who feel very conflicted about Yuu not being "included" in the dream worlds that Malleus sent the boys to. Then there's the other Malleus stans who are like "lol those Malleyuu stans were in absolute delulu for thinking Malleus would treat Yuu so specially". Thennnn you have some fans who would start discussions about that discourse just to insert their Malleus dislike opinions, where at that point I wished I said pls take that shit out of the topic 🤡

And for me? Well, after a week, I am now sitting here all like . what dafaq

No because there’s something I don’t get and it’s the thing I want to address first: how Malleus' UM works and the whole 'Yuu isn't in the dreams'. You all can correct me on this since I've only been relying on TL summaries and the little context clues I can glean from listening to the main story. From my understanding of how his UM works, Malleus can put people to sleep and put them in their own dream worlds. He can watch these dream worlds since he's the one who has the magic to put these people to sleep.

But he isn't the one conjuring up said dream worlds.

Malleus sent Idia to sleep, but he's not the one creating the scenario where Ortho is still alive and studying in RSA. That's a dream world created not from Malleus' magic but from Idia's inner desires, his inner subconscious. And we are just seeing that his dream world is a world where his brother is alive and happy.

If we are to assume that Malleus created that dream world for Idia, that would mean that he would have known Idia's backstory and grief for Ortho. But like, he doesn't.

Suffice to say then that since Idia's dream is centered around his subconscious, of course Yuu won't be in the dream. To him, Yuu isn't that important in his life. This extends to Grim. While Grim is a cute kitty, ultimately he isn't that important to Idia either, enough that he'd be part of his dream.

And that's why none of the dreams we see so far have Yuu in them. I don't really think it's Malleus excluding them, it's that the other boys don't really find them important enough in their lives to have a spot in their dreams. Sounds harsh, but it is true, especially since this is strictly main story we are talking about. No events being included whatsoever, barely any personal stories being included either (Robe Idia personal being the notable exception as it was actually featured in main story).

Now the second important thing that I don't really have to address but want to really talk about: Malleus' actions. A lot of people find themselves at a point of contention with this. Again, you have a good amount of Malleyuu fans who ended up in their divorce era lmfao. Then there were people who don't necessarily stan him but still felt displeased by his actions.

I don't really have an issue with people not liking what he's doing or acting. I'm not the biggest fan of Malleus either, and people who have either followed me for a while or regularly talk to me on Discord will know this. But what I have an issue with is that it feels like there's been a lack of willingness to understand where Malleus' actions come from. I will acknowledge, I used to not want to understand him, but after some self reflecting and talking to the right people, I can see the dude in a better light than before. The poor guy's been judged pretty badly, maybe not as bad as the judgment that Vil and Leona got, but the shift in opinion and the little willingness to understand him is . welp. kinda lolz. Especially when this has been built up for a while.

People have mentioned already that Halloween 2 shows Malleus' selfishness, and I agree with this sentiment. He sent people to the ghost's dimension, thinking that everyone would be happy. But consequently, while the ghosts are happy, the students are upset at what he and Lilia did. And for good reason! Some of them were possessed, and the others had to save them, which meant getting into fights. It was a dangerous situation to throw them in, especially when they were somewhere else.

Halloween 2 is a perfect example of Malleus doing things thinking that everyone would be happy. But really, it only makes himself happy, and he doesn't see or understand the perspective of others.

Malleus' dorm card and story was also released pretty early on in chapter 7's story for a reason as well. His story shows that selfish side of him, on a much more mundane scale, which is bringing all dorm leaders to Diasomnia for a dorm leader meeting, thinking that it would satisfy everyone. But they were upset of course, because without consent, they were just teleported like that. And that's a pretty scary situation to be taken away unexpectedly.

In short, Malleus' selfishness has always been a part of him. People can have their criticisms and dislike it, just as how you would dislike something in a person. But you can't deny that it is a part of Malleus, just as how him finding value in forgotten things like old architecture and gargoyles is a part of him.

And then you apply this to Chapter 7 where Malleus puts everyone to sleep so that Lilia wouldn't leave. It can and does leave a bad taste that Malleus is putting an entire island to sleep for 1000 years just for one guy to not leave. It’s also maddening that he can watch everyone’s dreams especially when they’re going to be so personal. The show of power, the disregard for others, it can be irritating to people, and if it wasn’t for the fact that it meant getting to know the rest of Diasomnia more, I’d hate it too lol

But personally speaking, I see where the dude’s coming from. Loneliness is a bitch, and it's worsened by the fact that his reputation drives people away. It's no secret either that Malleus' grandma is very busy to the point that there were some dinners with him that she had to cancel last minute due to work. Malleus' parents are dead. And the rest of Briar Valley would treat him with utmost respect and nothing more. So of course he'd cling onto the few things and people in life that make him feel less lonely. It's why he has fondness for Silver and Sebek. It's why he's so interested in people like Yuu and Grim who aren't afraid of him. It's why he values architecture that's been long forgotten.

Lilia of course has been the most influential to him. He's been with him for majority of his life. He's taken care of Malleus, he's kept him company. And for Lilia to suddenly leave and possibly to never be seen again. I think that would be absolutely crushing for Malleus. It's all the trauma and hurt and war flashbacks (that can unfortunately be literal) coming to bite him.

All the powers of the world in his hands, and he cannot gain his happy ending. Poor man.

In short, loneliness really hurts. I also say this personally speaking. When Chapter 7 came out, I was really struggling with loneliness, so it kinda made me empathize with Malleus.

It's also worth noting that Malleus doesn't act entirely on his own feelings. He hears from others their own feedback and feelings and will do something. One of his motivations in doing what he's doing was seeing Silver's and Sebek's reactions. When the two of them reacted to the news, Malleus was the one who told them to accept Lilia's decisions, even if he himself was probably the most hurt by them. Malleus saw Silver cry about it.

It's definitely something ingrained in him as crown prince: that he would have to hear out a problem and come up with a solution. Not that he’s good at it (because interpersonal matters apparently didn’t matter that much to his teachers /hj.) But he does it because he’s taught to. And because he's so powerful, people will look to him to solve the problem. You really see this in Glorious Masquerade, especially when Idia, Azul, and Malleus went up the tower. Idia would be like, "Let Malleus take out the flowers!!" but Azul would use his magic to take them out. In hindsight, when Malleus complimented Azul for his ability, I now wonder if part of it was not just awe for such magical ability but also admiration that someone didn't just rely on Malleus, but stepped up to do something and succeeded in helping out.

There’s really a lot to Malleus right now that’s causing him to do these things. And hey, it’s just like with every other OB that we’ve encountered. Trauma that has hurt them since childhood affects the things that they do in the present, and either the trauma itself or their present actions will bite them back in the ass.

I don’t know anymore man, I’m literally like supposed to be the last person to defend Malleus 🤠 but there’s just some brainworms in the head that I want to let out because damn….. it sucks to see how too much devotion to a fanon version has caused this split and conflict and simultaneously see people who really dislike Malleus take the opportunity to dunk on him without really having substance and understanding in their arguments.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp #malleus draconia

[lasnevadascryptid]

I'm gonna say something that might be controversial but I'll say it anyways.

Ahem.

Ranboo's lore is unoriginal by dream SMP standards, not just as a concept. Naturally it's unoriginal by concept standards other people have come up with this idea before.

But on the dsmp he is not the only person to have this lore, and this issue for lack of a better word is why I LOATH to bits people scapegoating CC dream for whoever the CCs didn't or don't communicate. He may have owned the server but the lore wasn't is idea and largely didn't partake in lore, and from what I understand didn't overlook it either.

My impression from looking at fans talk about the lore behind the scenes stuff was that Wilbur was to some unknown extent in charge. But as I heard more stories and rumors about the treatment of the server's playerbase towards their fellow player, it became clear neither was true, and it was always that responsibility to communicate with the other players fell upon to the individual CC to do so, not Wilbur and certainly not Dream as many seem to claim.

Even your favorites are guilty of this, you should scapegoat Dream to ignore the issue just because they're your favorites and Dream is easy to punch down on and pin all the problems of the server on. Hell I rarely see any drama go by without Dream being dragged in as blame partly blamed on him regardless of we know or not he's involved or to blame. He is partly to blame, but not solely like I see a lot of people imply.

The miscommunication problem should have been called out a lot sooner, evidence was kinda always there, but it's now way too late, and i genuinely think some good would have happened if it was addressed.

For example:

Fundy and Ranboo have the exact concept for their lore. And it's never addressed. This is lead to a lot of interesting parallels and themes between the two that are never acknowledged. If it wasn't for the fact the way they discussed their lore and ideas for it, I'd assume it's intentional but it's very clearly not and I think their lore suffers for it.

What is Fundy and Ranboo's lore? Well, person has a supposed subconscious other version of themself with powers the consciousness version doesn't have, and causes the person to have issues sleeping, and generally causes them bouts of severe mentally health issues and "spells" of unreality and disassociations.

This subconscious self claims to the same person as the awake conscious self, and claims to genuinely want to help, but does so in a way that comes across as scary, unhelpful, strange and unusual, their actions and methods concerning. They also claim not to exist. Also, the more this subconscious self takes over, the worse the mental health of the waking conscious self gets.

In both cases this leads the person to another person with a smile motif often known for being shady or morally grey at best, others of the server often keeping their distance from this smile man. Though when they met this smile man, it's in a dream, and it may not even be the real person, the real deal, but rather something conjured up by the subconscious self to serve a purpose of sorts.

Especially now on the QSMP it's plastered everywhere to point if I wonder it's meant to be subconscious programming of sorts and for whom.

Besides a man with a dubious moral code and smile motif, they also come across a mysterious entity. For Ranboo, his Enderwalk ARG calls this entity Z. Just Z. And as for Fundy, it's not named, but there is a shadowy cloaked figure that chases him until he wakes up.

In both cases, they eventually give into this subconscious self seeking help and guidance, hoping for answers from the self proclaimed subconscious version of them directly.

And that's kinda it. Nothing comes from the similarities, and as far as I can tell. They aren't intended to be this similar. I WANT to theorize that they are similar because Z/"Nightmare" is lying to Fundy and Ranboo for some unknown reasons.

But it's basically confirmed that's not the case, Ranboo implied he didn't really know what they wanted from their character having changed their lore and even species a lot, eventually settle on: full blooded enderman that's just a chimera/half albino, and he's not possssed by anything it's genuinely a subconscious self that trusts dream for some/no reason???

And it's too similar to be Fundy somehow was predicted or copying Ranboo in the sense of again, Ranboo kept changing what he wanted the end to be, hell he changed how his death was play out, Wilbur confirmed it was gonna be self sacrifice to save Tubbo only for it to changed to be by Sam's blade.

I largely believe things could have been different if they just communicated, especially given how to some extent unintentionally Fundy gets replaced by Ranboo as Philza's grandson, as in Philza rejects Fundy in lore and disowns him only to turn around and allows Ranboo to live with him and Techno in their secluded fuck off away from everyone else cabin when they shunned nearly everyone else. Additionally Ranboo's being Fundy's last ally prior to Las Nevadas.

It could have been very interesting. It's clear as CCs they talked but also clear there similarities by chance are not intentional. The only thing that hints that I'm wrong here in my eyes is Z talks to Fundy in ender only for Fundy to realize what it means, meaning CC fundy knew about the ender walk but to what extent?????

:(((((((((((((((( stuff like this makes wish things... turned out differently. I genuinely wanted a s2 of dsmp. But seeing the CCs either not show up the ender dragon fight and or slowly quietly leave. Just. Ugh. The community thrives just bittersweet seeing the CCs move on to greener pastures.

#dsmp #dsmp ranboo #dream smp lore #dsmp lore #ranboo #fundy #dsmp fundy #enderwalk

[soverane]

i think that when engaging with any piece of fiction, you would be able to immerse yourself into its world and its possibilities more if you first (temporarily) put aside what reality and your real-life values would otherwise dictate. imagination, fantasy, and fiction do not mesh well with reality, if at all. therefore, i think it would make less sense to apply the laws of reality to a fictional piece that was created (structured, designed, conjured) to be unrealistic in the first place.

oftentimes people create art to escape. people read stories before bedtime to escape. escape what? reality. temporarily, if only for a few hours, to just immerse one's self into a world where the impossible becomes possible. but in order to plunge headfirst into the rabbit hole that takes you to wonderland where doors are tiny and teacups are gigantic (translation: where the world does not make sense and contradicts what reality would otherwise have.), at some point you're gonna have to put aside your "but's" and "what about's" in order to embrace the "what if's", and replace your "why's" with "why not's".

who knows? perhaps by engaging with the "unconventional", the "uncomfortable," or the "unrealistic" you might be able to put into question your own real-life values and why you value them in the first place. this is the part where i must emphasize that art—and, by extension, fiction—is political, because any human act that involves the self and other is political. first lesson of political science. human nature is political, because we are social creatures. which is to say, all creation of and engagement with art is intrinsically embedded with people's real-life biases, prejudices, and values.

the "why's" in your subconscious are pulled out into the open by the "why not's" in fantasy and fiction. a piece of fiction presents something that in reality is "taboo", "problematic", or "unnatural"; why is it "taboo", "problematic", and "unnatural"? perhaps this piece of fiction can help us unpack that. it'd make a far more interesting and possibly enriching exercise than simply going "i hate X piece of media/X character because they're bad/evil/associated with the thing i consider bad/evil!"

if it makes you uncomfortable, there must be a reason why, and maybe you have yet to confront that. art and fiction can provide that space, along with the creative distance and flexibility perhaps necessary to engage with what is otherwise difficult to engage with in reality.

i know these thoughts can branch out to so many different, related tangents even beyond art and fiction, and i probably have more, but less-fleshed-out thoughts on them, but these are just my thoughts on how i engage with fiction most especially.

this is (also) to say, purity culture will be the death of so much beautiful, provocative, unsettling, shocking, gripping, tantalizing art in the world. you miss out on so much magic when you do this.

#i can go on to different tangents: #the erasure of queerness and kink #“policing” in fandom spaces #maybe i will add more thoughts later

[fumifooms]

Magic, Desires & Funnels

So I read this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33935719 (cool theory go read it btw) And it got me thinking… Less lore wise and more thematically though. Or a mix of both?? You can skip to the middle of this post if you don’t want to read my unhinged thesis on the in-world magic-desires dynamic as a preface to my other smaller magic-desires dynamic theory, if you can even call it one. This could just be a thematic analysis essay more than a theory on worldbuilding I have no clue at this point, we are too many layers in of intangible powers and unknowable entities that themselves embody abstract concepts, someone help

But yes I def agree that the demon is a funnel for magic from the other dimension and I quite like how consistent of a theory it is and the worldbuilding implications, but in a very different way, I think the demon is a funnel for desires. Literally and very obviously in the story but I mean, existentially as well.

If mana is in every being, is this abstract energy, then it isn’t so unlike desires in a way, and besides birds of a feather flocking together, it makes sense for an abstract concept to eat another abstract concept, for one to fuel another. It’s interesting too because in this sort of worldbuilding, usually it’s implied that magic is sort of like air, invisible but still physically present, and if it ignites into a fire then it’s not that the fire just came out of nowhere, but had the right conditions to transform as such. But what if that isn’t the case? What if, even if mana does work like that, ancient magic, magic from another dimension, doesn’t? What if magic is about materializing things that don’t, shouldn’t exist, like a force like gravity rather than an element or energy per se. Then it’s more about conjuring, than manipulating the laws of the world for the outcome that you want like any other science. It bends to the wishes of the mage. The mage desires something, and magic serves it on a silver platter out of literally nothing but itself. Magic comes to life when someone desires something and uses it to attain that thing, desires that otherwise couldn’t be materialized. This is what I mean when I call the demon a funnel for desires. But then, what I’m rambling about is that I think the Winged Lion can play with the very nature of physicality and immateriality, and thus it’s interesting to think about desires and what… Makes them. How they exist physically in the world and what makes them special. We do know that souls have a physical dimension to them due to ghosts, due to them being tangible, but what of desires? Is it truly something physically graspable or do they not operate on the same plane? I definitely think it’s the latter, I don’t think it’s truly something that you could separate of someone without incredibly powerful unknowable magic that breaks the fabric of existence and the space between dimensional planes, and I think that’s why Laios needed to become a monster with the specific ability "able to eat desires", because what that ability grants you is to be able to materialize them so you can then eat them. And coming full circle about birds of a feather, I think that you could consider desires to be a sort of magic, another type of deeply primal energy that comes from life itself rather than its contrary the void. Desires are fuel for the mind, are the driving force for self-made power rather than externally achieved one. Abstract forces will feed off of another abstract force, and vice versa like an ouroboros. Infinity fundamentally immaterial, existing only in the mind, and infinity materialized, only manifesting through physical means.

Ok I got a bit sidetracked but here’s what I’m actually getting at:

Livings beings are designed to instinctively seek out what they need, beyond normal cravings like food and water it can be more subtle and subconscious as well, like light for moths and plants, or specific food and nutriments when you have nutritional deficiencies or medical issues like high/low blood pressure (sugar, salt, vegetables, fibres), etc etc, and I think that’s true for demons as well.

Demons are very abstract beings but they too seem to have individuality and agency, like we see how the Winged Lion comes to want to eat desires through observation and curiosity, so I don’t want to say it’s 100% just an innate craving, but there’s a case to be made. A demon at the core of it is a being of magic. They are entities interlinked to magic, it’s their source of life and it is them. In the Lion’s own words, he is Power. And what does magic, what could power possibly instinctively seek out? What tries to wield power, and what can become warped by it and consumed in turn? Desires. Ambition. Goals. Power was born to be attracted to these.

Power feeds off of desire.

#They are infinity and they feed off of each other 🔥🔥🔥 #Dungeon meshi #the winged lion #theory #meta #i have no clue if I just galaxy brained or lost 1000 braincells #Probably sent me in the braincells negative tbh #it’s 1 am #fumi rambles #Thematic analysis is my passion indulge me pls lol #When posting things like these I’m always shaking in my boots dreading someone to come comment smth like “duh” in a neg way

[sirowsky-stories]

The Flowers Always Know

Chapter 14 - The Power of Fear

Description: Cut off from the one person you needed to get through what had happened at the prison, you were now slowly being ripped apart from the inside.

**Beware! Author chooses NOT to display warnings on the individual chapters of this story. Read at your own risk!**

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Word Count: 5887 (3355 words added) Masterlist (this story)

   You watched your first ever sunrise the next morning, wrapped in blankets sitting in a hammock in Anitas garden. You’d been out there all night, alternating between trying to sleep, and being jolted awake by awful images conjured by your subconscious, and the memories of seemingly endless pain echoing through your body.    But the numbness was still there as well, oddly enough. You couldn’t feel much of anything while you were awake, it was only when you tried to rest that your brain seemed to get overwhelmed, as though you were actively forcing yourself not to feel. Which did make a bit of sense.

   You wished that you’d been able to see the exquisite beauty around you, but while there was nothing wrong with your eyes, you couldn’t seem to connect the images they were seeing to the correct emotion those images should provoke.    The flowers were all blooming, waking up and turning their petals to the pink and golden morning light, and even the grass was nicer than any grass you’d ever seen before.    And to top it all off, everything was coated in tiny droplets of morning dew, glistening as the light hit it, turning the garden into what could’ve been a fairy landscape.

   But it was all just there around you, unable to touch your heart.

   The warmth of the sun sent you drifting off to sleep again, but this time, a dark figure appeared next to you in your dreams, hovering over you with sickening interest, like he was trying to devour your soul.    You woke up with a powerful jerk which had your arm flinging out towards the non-existing shadow beside you, while your heart pounded frantically in your chest, making it hard to breathe for a minute.    But this was probably the tenth time that night you’d had the sensation, so it no longer made you panic. At this point, every jarring awakening just made you more tired.

   Giving up on sleep, you sat up and turned in the hammock to let your feet down into the grass, unwinding yourself from the blankets which suddenly felt much too warm. You leaned forwards with your elbows resting heavily on your knees, and your head felt like it weighed more than your whole body.    Still, the damp and cool grass seemed to help your mind settle a bit, just as Anita came walking out of the backdoor holding a mug of something steaming hot in each hand.

   She didn’t say anything, and neither did you. But when she handed you one of the mugs, filled with freshly brewed chai-tea based on the smell, you took it, holding it between both hands while she sat down next to you.    You couldn’t tell how long you sat like that, staring into your cup without taking a single sip, as she gently rocked the hammock with her feet. But she stayed with you the whole time, just looking at her flowers, drinking her coffee and occasionally humming something.

   “Thank you,” you whispered eventually.

   Not because you were trying to be quiet, but simply because you hadn’t spoken at all since leaving the prison, and your throat was dry and stale.    You still didn’t want to talk about anything, really. But you did want her to know how grateful you were that she’d taken you in and let you stay. And unsurprisingly, she knew you weren’t referring to the tea.

   “Of course. You’re always welcome here, niña,” she answered just as quietly, perhaps unsure if your low volume was due to oversensitivity, keeping hers down so she wouldn’t deter you from continuing.

   “I didn’t know where else to go. My house… just isn’t home to me anymore. And he-…” you had to stop and just breathe against the sudden pressure in your chest at the mere thought of Marcus, the only subject still capable of reaching through your apathy.

   She gave you a minute to calm yourself, and then for the first time in however many hours you’d already been there, she asked you a question.

   “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”

   Her voice was soft and inviting, but you shook your head and closed your eyes.    You hadn’t even been able to think about it yet. Hell, even your own subconscious had thus far been unable to get you anywhere near those thoughts.

   “Okay. Well, I’ve called you in sick for the rest of the week,” she calmly replied, making you realize you hadn’t even thought about work. “So, you just rest and try to get some nutrition into that little body. There is plenty of food in the fridge.”

   With that, she got up and took the now cold mug with its untouched brew from your hands to carry it back inside.

   “You’re leaving?” you asked, inferring as much from her phrasing and feeling surprisingly unsettled by the notion.

   “Yes. But I’ll be back in a few hours,” she declared, and something in your stomach seemed to turn heavier.

   You weren’t sure why you didn’t want her to leave, until she was already gone, and the numbness immediately increased. As though her presence alone was so impactful it had made you try to confront your fears even though you hadn’t been aware of it.    The garden was somehow smaller without her, as if the flowers actually blossomed a little less in her absence.

<><><><><> 

   Marcus knew before she even stepped inside that his mother knew something about what was going on, and that she wasn’t happy about it.    She’d accepted you into her son’s life without much question, and she’d made it clear she was invested in making sure you’d be happy together, so of course she’d be upset that the one woman she’d found to be good enough for him, was now pushed away.    But he could never have imagined just how furious she’d be.

   She stormed inside, slamming the door shut behind her with such force it made the walls rumble. Then, ignoring Missy’s startled gasp where she’d just sat down at the kitchen table for breakfast, she continued into the kitchen, while virtually spewing Spanish expletives at her father, too enraged to even formulate sentences at first.

   “Mom, please stop. You’re not helping,” he tiredly sighed, turning his back at her to refill his coffee-cup for the fourth time already that morning since he’d been up all night.

   But the way his mother fell silent instantly made him worried, because it wasn’t the open-aired silence of someone who was ready to listen.    Rather, it was the kind of silence which hung like a thundercloud in the air, created by either anger, confoundment, or both, and he wasn’t particularly keen on discovering which mood the woman was preparing to unleash right then.

   “Do you really think I’m here to help you?” she all but growled, narrowing her eyes at him when he turned around to lean against the counter. “Your girlfriend is sitting in my garden right now, unable to sleep, unable to eat, barely even able to talk, and you think I’m here to help you?”

   He felt himself turn strangely cold then, and his arm froze halfway to bringing the cup to his mouth, because this was about the last thing he’d ever expected to hear.

   “She… came to you?” he asked, truly shocked.

   “Where did you think she would go? Church?” she scoffed with sarcasm, knowing you weren’t religious and would likely find no comfort in any of the places of worship around the city.

   “I thought she went home,” he countered, having pictured you collapsing in your bed and crying alone all night, which he’d also spent the entire night feeling guilty about.

   “Ay, el tonto…” Anita grumbled, closing her eyes as if cursing him inside her head, before opening them to reveal the lightning bolts she was about to fire at him. “THIS is her home. Yet, for some reason, she does not feel welcome here anymore!    Now, she has not been able to explain anything to me, but I know she did nothing to deserve this. Such a thing is not possible for a soul like hers.    Which means you did this to her, mi chico, and now you are going to tell me why.”

   But as shocking as this was, Marcus couldn’t accept her words, for the simple reason that he’d done everything he could to prevent this very outcome, and no one had listened to him.

   “I did this to her?!” he questioned, pushing off the counter and raising his voice way too much considering his daughter was in the room, but he was too upset to care about that in the moment. “I tried to stop all this, you were the one who wanted her to go and meet that asshole!”

   “Yes, because I knew that he could never break her. The only person in the world who has that much power over her is you, because you are the one she loves,” she argued, pointing sharply at him to emphasize his significance. “You are the one who holds her heart in your hands, which means only you have the power to crush it.    And you have, my son. Believe me, you have crushed it.”

   He shrunk hearing her words, realizing the truth in them, the truth he’d been trying to avoid while he’d worked on settling the rage inside him.    When he’d left you there in the control room, he’d done it truly convinced it was the only right thing to do, because he’d only just been able to keep his powers under control until he’d gotten to the parking lot.

   At the time, removing himself from the equation had seemed like a kindness. He had never wanted to hurt you, never meant for any harm to come to you by his actions.    But now it appeared that in his desperation to keep you safe, he had instead forgotten to take your heart into consideration and ended up hurting you so much worse.    Still, the way you’d looked at him had left him dead certain you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him for a while.

   “I was trying to protect her… from me,” he admitted, feeling himself tense up, but his mother failed to detect how his body-language shifted when the memories of Prince’s voice once again flooded his mind.

   “And since when has that girl ever had anything to fear from y-…?”

   “He had her for three weeks, mom,” he growled through his teeth, cutting her off and leaving her stunned into silence. “You need to understand the purity of hatred I feel when I think about that man…”

   He fell silent as the whole house started to rumble with his rising anger, leaving Anita slightly nervously twisting on the spot as she’d never seen him do something like that before, and assumed it was an earthquake at first.    Marcus did his best to calm himself, putting his open palms against the cold stone surface of the kitchen island countertop, hoping the coolness would help combat the heat of his anger. But he only just managed to stop the pipes from bursting through the walls.

   When the worst of the trembling had stopped, his mother turned back to him.

   “Hijo… Was that you?”

   “Actually, that was a small one,” Missy chipped in, still sitting at the table, quietly eating her breakfast in the middle of all this drama. “Did you see what he did at the prison? It’s been on repeat on the news all night.”

   “No. I was busy making sure my niña did not die of a broken heart,” Anita replied, giving her son a stern glare, but although it stabbed at his chest to hear it, he still believed he’d done the right thing.

   “He was proud, mom. Absolutely elated to see her. His creation…    You need to understand, I can’t be around her right now, because I saw that fucking instrument of a chair. I saw the blood drenched into the leather, the fingernails torn from the roots and embedded in the cushioned armrests, the smell of every bodily fluid imaginable lingering on it, despite the chlorine he’d used to clean the surface of it.”

   “Hush, boy! Your daughter does not near to hear this,” she admonished, but he wasn’t going to stop until she understood.

   “She’s training to do this job, she should know exactly how dangerous those types of people are. Or have you forgotten how many kids her age he butchered?” he spat, perhaps taking it a bit too far, but the anger and lack of sleep had made him raw, and he carried on without giving anyone a chance to cut in. “I will never forget the shit I saw in that laboratory, or how it made me feel to have to dig out the skeletons of infants from those mass graves, so don’t you tell me to shut up about it!    Everyone needs to know what he did, and everyone should be just as angry as me about it, otherwise it’ll happen again!”

   “I’m not disputing that,” his mother countered. “But please, explain to me what this has to do with you staying away from the woman you love?”

   He sighed heavily and dropped his head forwards, before stepping out from behind the island, knowing that if he moved closer to her, he’d be less inclined to break anything.

   “You never saw her in the beginning. I was with her every day, struggling from moment to moment with whether I wished for her to live… or to get to rest.    One minute I’d look at her and think she was so strong and so beautiful and that if she would just wake up everything would be alright. And the next minute, I’d remember what had been done to her over those two days, and I’d beg for her to not have to live with that.    And then I hear this monster sit there and gloat about how she was at his mercy for weeks…”

   His voice died out, unable to finish the sentence, and his mother stilled then, perhaps in acknowledgement of how difficult this truly was for him.    But she only gave him a moment before she took a deep breath, and the number of times he’d heard that inhale as a child, told him that he was about to be set straight.

   “She learned all of this at the same time as you, chico. She carries this burden in her very skin, and she was counting on you to help her bear it.    But you chose to abandon her instead, leaving her alone to carry this weight, because in case you hadn’t noticed, you are all she has. The poor thing came to me looking for solace, for goodness’ sake,” she shook her head, and she looked terribly worried.

   His mother had her shortcomings, but she never coddled people. She never pitied anyone who had the strength to fight for themselves.    And yet, the way she spoke about you now, she seemed genuinely afraid for you, and that sent shivers of a most unpleasant nature down his spine.

   “Now, you know I may be difficult, but I’m never heartless. She can stay with me for as long as she needs,” she continued after a beat, as if she’d read his mind. “But Marcus, my beloved boy… If you make me watch this strong, beautiful, passionate and warm woman, turn into a walking corpse, for no reason beyond your own damned fears, I will never speak to you again.    Make this right, or I will never forgive you.”

   She stood and glared at him to make sure he knew her threat was serious, then she turned around and more or less stormed out, leaving the door wide open behind her, which he took to be a challenge for him to follow her.    Anita had always been something of a mystery to her son, and while he’d always known her to be loving and stern in equal measure, you seemed to be the exception to every rule she’d ever lived by.

   “Uhm… dad?” Missy tentatively asked after he’d been staring at the open door for a little too long. “You do know she’s right, don’t you? This is essentially hiding, what you’re doing.”

   He sighed with sadness, letting her voice break through the tangled-up web his thoughts had become and bring him back to the moment, where his daughter had now finished her cereal and pushed the bowl away.    She’d been amazingly calm and supportive during all this, helping him stay calm when the anger had threatened to boil over. But now she looked painfully worried, which pinched his heart with bruising strength, because he had no good answers.

   “I don’t know what else to do, kiddo. If I ever hurt my hermosa… I couldn’t live with that,” he whispered, half strangled by the sheer force of fear which coursed through him at the mere thought.

   “But you still love her, right?”

   “Of course I do.”

   “Then you already know what you have to do,” she pressed, and he was about to argue when she cut him off. “I get that it’s scary when you’re so used to being the one who can always control yourself, even when the rest of the team aren’t cooperating and nothing works the way it’s supposed to, or when grandma gets on your nerves.    And now there’s this giant evil thing you can’t escape, or fight, and it makes you so scared you lose all that control.”

   Fucking hell… Was she really only ten years old?    He couldn’t help but see her mother in her eyes when she got all wise like this. Sarah would’ve been so proud hearing it, quipping about how she must’ve raised the perfect kid for her to have the confidence and understanding of people, to even say these things.    It brought tears to his eyes, and he didn’t wipe them away.

   “If you truly love her, you won’t even be able to hurt her, and I think you know that. I think what you’re really scared of is that you won’t know how to help her. But dad… you didn’t know how to help her out of her coma either and you still did.    So, you’re gonna go to her and you’re gonna do what she needs you to do, alright? And I’m coming with you to make sure you don’t destroy every streetlamp and sewage pipe from here to Abuela’s house.”

<><><><><> 

   You had laid down in the soft grass as the sun had climbed higher, hoping to feel something other than pain. Hoping for some distraction, even if it was just a blade of grass tickling your neck.    But it hadn’t worked. As though your skin had forgotten that there were other sensations to be had, you’d remained numb to the world around you.

   Turning on your side and curling into a ball, you’d wondered why the sun didn’t warm you. Wondered if you could recall the feeling of being warmed into your very bones anymore. Even asked yourself if it would make any difference if you just burned alive right there. Surely, it couldn’t hurt any worse than what this relentless emptiness did.    Would Marcus even miss you?    Would anyone?

   Laying there while the dew slowly evaporated, you closed your eyes against the light, but also in a feeble attempt to keep those thoughts away.    You knew they came from a dark and lonely place, where truth didn’t exist, and the only reality was the one you made up to justify your wish for these awful things to just stop. Even if it meant your eyes would never open again.

   Anita had been right, that evening when you’d driven across town together. You had been fighting your entire life, in every way a person could, and you were so fucking tired of it.    Somehow, people had always wanted to hurt you, for one reason or another. But as far as you could remember, none of it had been earned.    You had never wilfully harmed anyone in your life, so why did you have to suffer so much?

   Warm, wet drops hitting your hand broke through your mental walls, bringing you back to the present and the real world, but it took you a few moments to understand why.    Your mind struggled to understand how rain could be so warm, and how it could only be landing on that one spot.    But once you realized it was because there was no rain, you sluggishly dragged your heavy eyelids open, revealing a devastated Missy kneeling beside you.

   She was such a wonderful girl. But what was she doing there? And why was she crying on your hand?

   “Hey. Come on, open your eyes, hermosa,” she begged with a shaky voice, making you wonder why she was hurting and who had done that to her. “I’m right here. You’re not alone, we’re here with you. We’re all here with you.”

   It took longer than it should have for you to grasp that she was in pain because of how you must look to her right then, lethargic and unresponsive on the ground, and it somehow doubled the weight which sat on top of your heart, threatening to crush it.

   “Dad, please…” she begged after another few seconds, turning her head away from you.

   But her father wasn’t there, and he wouldn’t come. You couldn’t see where she was looking, but you knew he wouldn’t be there. He’d turned away from you even though you’d begged, so there was no reason to think he would have changed his mind and decided to help you now.    It was just a dream. Another cruel prank by your subconscious.

   “You should go…” you croaked at her, not even recognizing your own voice, closing your eyes against the brightness of the day, hoping for the dark to swallow you. “Let me rest…”

   Strong hands grabbed you, and suddenly you were being carried into the house and carefully placed on a bed, before someone covered you with several blankets.    Then those hands grabbed yours and familiar currents flooded your system with their tell-tale tingling, waking your body as they went.    But this was a nice feeling, you wouldn’t have dreamt such a thing in your current state.

   Was it really him, right there beside you?

   “M-Marcus…?” you asked, not trusting your own senses.

   Not ready to believe anything good or nice would ever happen to you again.

   “I’m here, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

   He sounded awful. But his crackling voice was still a balm to your tortured soul.    The numbness somehow hadn’t extended to include relieving you of your pain, it had only made you feel disconnected from both your body and the world around you. So, now that his current was returning everything to normal, the hurt inside your chest was joined by how cold you were. How your limbs ached from inactivity and twitched with the stress in your overstimulated nerves.

   And then your brain caught up, and you remembered the feeling of watching him turn his back on you.    You remembered feeling sick to your stomach by Prince’s admissions, and then the flare of hope which seeing him had given you, only to then be crushed by the realization that he wasn’t there for you.    He hadn’t just broken your trust, he had stolen your hope for the future. The hope you’d cultivated so very carefully specifically because you’d feared you wouldn’t get to keep him.

   “You left me,” you whispered through clattering teeth and a trembling bottom lip, as the weight of those words, the reality behind them, made it feel even more unbearable.

   “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to,” he hoarsely replied, but even though you waited, he didn’t deliberate, and it wasn’t enough.

   “I begged you,” you said, with a voice even more frail than before as the emotions overpowered you until you were crying. “I stood on my knees… and begged you not to go.”

   You couldn’t look at him, because you knew that if you saw his sorrow, you’d want to comfort him, despite what he’d done to you, but you felt his head drop onto your joined hands.    His body was trembling, and strong jolts bothered him every now and then, as pain ripped through him, but his current had already faltered and died out.

   “You are so much stronger than I’ll ever be, hermosa. To even consider facing that monster, much less actually sit down across from him…” he faded out, before you felt him draw in a new breath, perhaps seeking the strength to try and make this right. “I don’t know how you did that. I don’t understand how anyone could.”

   He still sounded so broken, and the more you listened to him, the more you felt that urge to ease his pain. But you weren’t going to.    All your life you’d had to fight. Not by choice, but for your very survival. But you weren’t going to fight for this man to want or chose you, because that battle wasn’t yours.    He either cared for you enough that he could ignore his fears or pains, like you did, or he didn’t. In which case, there was no future for the two of you.

   “I know I’ve failed you, and everyone around me, but I was terrified, and I didn’t know what to do,” he continued when you didn’t answer him. “I’ve never felt rage like that before and it scared the life out me.    Because I really wanted to kill him. Right then and there. If your safety hadn’t been a bigger priority to me, I would’ve walked in there and strangled him with his own fucking chains. And you know that’s not who I am.”

   His voice had regained some of its strength by then, and you could hear the echo of his rage within the depths of it.    And you did understand, to some degree, how that level of anger could’ve robbed him of his senses, because Marcus Moreno was not a violent man. He wasn’t someone who had ever truly wished for anyone to die at his hands, not even bad people.

   “I thought I was doing the right thing by staying as far away from you as possible at that point. You looked so fragile sitting on that floor, pale and trembling. And I just knew in my heart that if you saw me lose control and kill someone… you’d forever be scared of me,” he quietly admitted, barely getting through the last of it before he broke down into sobs for a minute.

   He seemed determined to set things right, though, all but forcing his pain into the periphery, so he could continue.

   “I see now that I should’ve stayed and trusted our love to see us through it, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t see that at the time.    But I haven’t left you. My heart belongs to you, it always will.    Please, sweetheart… Please tell me you’re still mine. Tell me I can make it right, somehow.”

   Everything he’d said had made sense. You understood all of it, to the extent you were able. The problem was that no amount of sympathy was gonna heal the tear in your soul from one moment to the next.    You couldn’t trust him to be there for you anymore, and that kind of betrayal wasn’t going to be mended by apologies or explanations.    Finally opening your eyes, you found him sitting beside you, looking worse than anything you could’ve imagined.

   “I don’t know… right now,” you said with honesty, and watched him crumble even more.

   “Can I hold you?” he asked through the pain, with pure desperation marring every syllable. “Please, let me hold you and warm you and remind you that I’m still the same. I’m still the man who loves you beyond all measure, I just made a terrible, horrible mistake.    I did leave you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it… But that’s also why I can promise you it will never happen again, if you just give me one more chance.”

   A chance.    Not too long ago, that was all you’d wanted as well, and even though he hadn’t known it at the time, he’d given you one.    He was worth another chance, and another hundred after that. But it wasn’t this moment which would reveal if he would honour his promise and deserve your trust again. Only time could offer such a thing.

   “I love you, Marcus. Always,” you assured him, and while it was probably nice to hear, you knew he’d also heard your lack of a direct response to his request.

   He laid down beside you and took you in his arms, but there was no relief within his frame. And there wouldn’t be, until you either gave it to him, or this relationship ended.    Those were the only options available to you, and you both knew it. But in that moment, you tried not to think about it, hoping your love would weather the storm and come out stronger. Anything else was too horrifying to consider.

<><><><><> 

   He had walked out into that garden, somehow thinking his mother had exaggerated, even though he knew damned well she rarely ever did. And never when it concerned something as serious as the health of a relationship.    No, the simple and awful truth was that he just hadn’t wanted to believe it. He couldn’t reconcile with the thought that he could’ve hurt someone he loved so badly. It was unbearable.

   Missy had spotted you first, lying on your side on the ground, curled up, pale and unmoving. And you’d looked so heavy, as though your body had been made of lead and was trying to sink through the soil.    She’d sprinted the last few yards to get to you, grabbing your hands and flinching at how cold and unresponsive you’d been. Even resorting to using one of his nicknames for you, to try and get a reaction.

   She had never seen you in your coma, and even when you’d been unwell in front of her, you’d still been strong on the inside. Finding ways to save yourself, to cling to the good things and not let them go.    To his daughter you were a role model, and someone she admired beyond measure, so seeing you in such a state was heart-breaking to her.    But to Marcus, it was a slow and agonizing death.

   He’d frozen on the spot, the moment he’d seen you, utterly convinced you’d slipped back into that darkness. The one you’d already had to fight so hard to leave behind and be free of. Convinced he’d never see that loving smile of yours again.    You’d always looked impossibly strong to his eyes, but seeing you seemingly returned to that half-dead state, he’d understood what his mother had meant by having to watch you turn into a walking corpse.

   Your immense strength had finally failed you, and not because of Prince or what you’d learned in that room… but because of the man you loved.    The one person in your life you were supposed to be able to rely on, no matter what.    He had broken you, just as his mother had said. And as that realization had hit home, so many things had broken inside of him at once, he hadn’t even been able to hear Missy’s desperate plea for help.

   But then, you’d spoken. And he’d been so relieved that all trace of anger had dissipated, and nothing had mattered except that you weren’t locked away. You were still there.    He’d picked you up and carried you to Anita’s spare bedroom, and tried his best to comfort you, to coax you back to life. Abruptly unbothered by any fears of hurting you, all he’d been able to think about had been keeping you alive.    Even if you were furious with him, or so heartbroken you’d never be able to forgive him, he’d take it. So long as he wouldn’t have to watch you disappear.

   When you’d said his name, there had been such disbelief in your frail voice, as though you’d been unable to fathom why he would’ve ever come back to you. And hearing that had broken him to pieces.    That moment in the control room, you’d begged him not to leave you, but he hadn’t heard you. The adrenaline of his fears had drowned out the absolute despair in your voice, the bitterness of betrayal in your eyes.

   He’d blinded himself to your situation so that he might’ve had a hope of controlling himself. But as he’d sat there on the bed with you, seeing you refuse to look at him while he’d tried to comfort you, he had realized his mistake without even trying.    Because it wasn’t that he’d left, or failed to recognize your pain. The real mistake had come much sooner than that. His true failure had been in not supporting your decision from the beginning.

   He’d begged you not to go, not to put yourself in such a terrible position, and he’d been right to do so, to make sure you’d thought it through. But once you’d made up your mind, he should’ve let it go and just been there for you.    You had only done what had felt right to you. For yourself, and the other victims, and even for Marcus. Because you’d gone there in search of closure, looking for an ending in the hopes of moving forward. With him.

   But in truth, he had gone there looking for a fight. So desperate to sever you from the past, and so scared it would come back to haunt you for the rest of your life, that he’d gone there only to try and prevent Prince from having any more power over you. Even though you’d told him to stay away, and even though he’d promised you he would.    He’d failed to realize you had long since broken free of the mad doctor’s claws, and that the man you loved was the very reason why you’d had the strength to do that.

   You’d ducked away from answering his pleas for a second chance, and he understood why. But you’d also given him the gift of hope, in letting him know your feelings hadn’t changed, even if the trust had been badly broken.    Hearing it had made his entire body sing with relief, making his current flow freely through the room, bringing a hint of colour to your cheeks.

   And as he’d climbed into bed with you and cradled you to his chest and kissed every part of your head he could reach, he’d known that he would keep this promise. To never abandon you again, to never try and take your decisions from you, and to never let his own pain render him blind and deaf to yours.    No matter what, nothing could ever make him willing to risk seeing you like this again.

   “I love you, querida. I love you so much it makes me stupid,” he cried as he held you, but it was only a few of the many thousands of tears shed between you that night.

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