i. ride the sun away || all i could do
“All I could do was love you hard and let you go.”
“Go and ride the sun away."
Pairing: Lee Jihoon x f!Reader
Summary: 5 years ended with a note on the coffee table.
Warnings: angst
Word Count: 1227
A/N: Hello! It's been a long while, but this idea has been on my mind for a long time. This musical means a lot to me and so does this fic. I know Jihoon is an asshole in this... sorry lol
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back to library || next chapter
The glint of light on the coffee table immediately drew your attention as you walked into the living room.
I called Chan and Seungcheol to help me get the rest of my stuff.
I know you wanted to go see another counselor… but I don’t know what the point would be. I know I’m not the only one who’s hurting here, and I don’t see what the hell else we can do.
I don’t think you could see how deep the cracks run, or that I had run out of rope.We could keep fighting each other, keep hurting each other, but I think it’s time to just face it… I couldn’t be what you wanted.All I could do was love you – and god did I love you – love you hard and let you go.
-Jihoon
The weighty cream piece of paper lay on the coffee table and on top of it, Jihoon’s silver wedding band, identical to the one on your own finger. The lights are off, but the room is far from dark. The sun outside is at its zenith and its rays spill into the room and wash the air with enough light to see dust floating in the air. Aside from the note and silver band, glimmering in the light, nothing in the living room had been touched in weeks.
The walls are still covered in pictures of the two of you smiling and you wonder if all the “I love yous” ever meant anything or if the foundation was cracked from the beginning. You’re left with more questions than you’ll ever have answers to and all you can think of is how unfair it is that Jihoon felt that he had the right to decide that things were over.
He was the one keeping secrets. He was the one who moved on before things had even ended. He was convinced that you were the problem. He was the one running away. And you were covered in scars you didn’t earn.
I should be crying, you think to yourself. But you don’t. You haven’t cried in a while, really, because honestly, to say you didn’t see this coming would be a lie.
From the minute you met him five years ago, sitting at a table on the fourth floor of the library and madly scribbling into a worn leather notebook, you knew he was on a one way road to something bigger. You suppose it was only a matter of time that he would outgrow you too.
While nearly every other seat was occupied by students with strewn out textbooks, notebooks, and half-dead laptops cramming for midterms, he was writing a song. School was on the backburner for him (as were most other things), a backup plan in case his dreams were just a little bit too far. Interestingly enough, that was what drew you to him.
“Whatcha writing?” you had asked him, the nervous crack in your voice betraying your casual attempt at conversation. You had noticed him as soon as you sat down to study an hour ago, as he was one of the only people around without a laptop in front of him, but waited until your break to finally let your curiosity get to you.
It took a few seconds before he realized you were speaking to him and he finally lifted his head to look at you. You couldn’t help but smile as you realized the redness on his cheek from resting it on his fist and the messy state of his dark hair.
“Me?” he questioned as you nodded.
“There’s no one else at the table,” you teased.
“Oh,” he looked around as if he hadn’t given any attention to his surroundings in a while. “I’m working on a song,” he admitted softly.
“Cool,” you replied. “Is it for a class? My friend is in a songwriting class with profe–”
“No,” he interrupted, scribbling something else down before returning his attention to you. “It’s just for fun.”
“Fun, huh?” you began. “You have time for fun in the middle of midterms?”
He let out a chuckle as he shook his head. “I like to think I have my priorities sorted,” he answered. “I’m Jihoon.” He extended his hand out for you to shake.
You looked down at his hand, noting the calluses on his fingertips before taking it in yours and introducing yourself.
“So what about you?” he returned. “What class are you studying for?”
You turned your laptop around to show him the powerpoint you had pulled up from your music and neuroscience class. “I’m actually in a class about how music affects the brain,” you explained.
Jihoon’s face lit up in interest. “Really?” he asked. “How does it affect the brain then?” It had been a while since you were able to gush about your interest in neuroscience.
“Well,” you began, pointing your finger over the brain scans on the slide. “There’s some recent studies showing that music could help treat people with Alzheimer’s and some other neurological issues in elderly people.”
You looked over to Jihoon’s brows furrowed in interest as he nodded along. “That’s pretty cool,” he mused.
“Yeah,” you continued. “I saw a couple of videos that show patients with forms of dementia suddenly remembering complex ballet dances and specific memories just from certain musical cues with synaptic activity in many voxels that–” you cut yourself off, realizing you were going to start rambling.
“That what?” Jihoon looked back up at you, clearly still interested in what you had to say.
“That uh,” you blinked at him. “This isn’t boring you?”
“Huh?” he questioned. “This is really cool,” he laughed. “As a musician, it’s nice to know music is more than just something pretty to listen to. I could be making synapses move and what not. I’ll be making an impact.”
You laughed and nodded your head. “Well, synapses don’t move,” you corrected as Jihoon rolled his eyes before giving you a smile. “But thanks.”
“For what?”
“For listening.”
It’s easy, even now, five years later, to remember the way he looked bathed in spring sunlight and the feeling of his callused hands in yours even if you couldn’t remember the last time he actually touched you. He used to trace circles against your skin, humming melodies into your ear, a soft reminder every time of the day you met.
You look down now at your hand and pull off the band, setting it down next to Jihoon’s rather than picking them both up. They’re small, but something tells you they’d be heavy like lead in your palms. So instead, you opt to leave them there, to join the rest of the abandoned and untouched reminders of a life once shared.
On another day you’d take down the pictures of Jihoon kissing your cheek at the fair, the plaque you jokingly made for him out of macaroni after his first single first charted, and the blanket he bought you from Germany on his first tour. Maybe one day you’ll find a lesson to learn in all of this. But all of that would wait till another day when you can begin to move forward the way Jihoon has. But today, you choose to return to your room, to hold onto some semblance of familiarity, still hurting.
taglist: @sana-is-ms-rmty @yksthings @iamxelia @coveyland @xuimhao
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Assigning. Greek gods to jrwi pcs. Because special interests go brr
(Clarification for nobody: gods that i think just like. Fit them. Their vibes. Some of these are more obvious than others in their reasonings. Some barely have any reasonings. I’m just in a fun mood.)
Gillion: poseidon would be the easy choice. But. No. Selene. The goddess of the moon. Because moon mom :)
Jay: there’s a lot of good contenders i think. But to me its definitely either artemis or apollo. Both are archers, artemis obviously has the whole huntress thing which fits with her being a ranger, while apollo has the sun thing (lets not get into that convo rn) and prophesies which obviously works with every riptide pc, honestly not sure which one i would go with
Chip: hermes!! God of travelers and thieves and all that fun stuff so perfect for our pirate boy. Also a trickster, and his job as a psycophomp works with the like. Chips connection to the hole in the sea and all that fun mystery stuff
William: the wispy boy himself… now you might be tempted to say hades or thanatos because. You know. Death. But no. Dionysus. Especially in season two. I mean hes the god of madness! The greyscale arc!! Also he’s got his whole weird rebirth thing going on with his mom dying and zeus having to carry the pregnancy to term and all that stuff (id recommend watching overly sarcastic production’s video on dionysus its very interesting)
Dakota: now running into the problem of almost none of the greek gods and goddesses being explicitly heroic. However i have found a fitting answer: Prometheus. Stealing fire for humanity and just the overall care for people? Pretty fitting i think
Vyncent: Athena is a pretty good fit i would say! Clearly capable in battle, he is actually pretty smart once you get past the whole ‘from another world and therefore has no idea how things work’ thing, and just. Idk. Vibes!
Thanatos: well. Uh. Thanatos..? But also i feel like either Zeus or Kronos could fit since they both did the whole overthrowing gods thing! Idk really
Peter: PSYCHE. So immediately psyche. A human who became a goddess, was brought back from the dead by her lover, the goddess of the human soul?? She’s perfect for peter
Rumi: working off of peter! Eros! God of love brought psyche back from the dead just wow now i kinda wanna write a fic thats just the myth of psyche and eros but its peter and rumi instead
Rolan: kinda feel like hades is a good fit. Generally just a chill guy who also just so happens to be the god of the underworld and so people just kinda. Assume hes a bad guy. Rolan is just a chill lawyer who also just so happens to be a bug monster
Kian: now sure i could go apollo because music and blah blah blah or i could go persephone to satiate my shipper brain but. Aphrodite. Goddess of beauty, love, and sexuality? Being a rockstar is just the front he puts on, but beyond that his entire thing is just love. And since eros already went to Rumi Kian gets his mom (sometimes) instead ((also im biased because kian is my fave and i worship aphrodite lol))
Rand: Rand could definitely also have Dionysus but Will already got that so instead! Demeter. Both because Rand obviously has the whole plant thing (yes its a weed plant but its still a plant) and also losing those he loves and then holing up inside and refusing to do anything until he gets them back… rand absolutely would let the entire world starve because he was upset if he had the power to do so
Now for the suckening please keep in mind that im not actually caught up on the series, im still in the like first hour of episode 11 because i am bad at listening to things. But.
Emizel: Ares! Good fighter? Check. Very aggressive? Check. Uh. Honestly idk too much about Ares. But well i still think it fits
Shilo: Persephone. Sweet pretty spring goddess? Yes. Also the queen of the underworld and definitely terrifying if you anger her? Also yes. Fits shilo’s whole ‘oh im just a small innocent boy whos never done anything wrong anyways let me shh this person so they cant scream while theyre being diseccted’
Arthur: …i somehow genuinely cant think of anything. Uh. If anyone has suggestions please tell me? My brain just stopped working
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they ask, "do you have a man?"
alternatively: can’t be discreet to save anyone’s life
in which everyone is curious why the grid princess is still single despite instagram posts from them seem to be giving out another narrative
(series masterlist)
logansargeant posted on their story!
alexalbon ur never beating the dating allegations if u keep posting shit like this i fear
kidy/n omg i look so slay in that dress
logansargeant ugh you’re so right bb
lilymhe i need to know where she got this i fear 😔
logansargeant she said she will text you like a true girls girl ✊🏼
lilymhe ugh im in love with her
user1 gonna need you guys to announce you’re dating actually
user2 posting this and denying every dating allegation is actually crazy
user3 what if i jump in front of a moving train???
user4 such a boyfriend coded story from someone who’s not her boyfriend
kidy/n posted on their story!
oscarpiastri HAVING FUN WHILE I AM IN MELBOURNE I SEE.
kidy/n is there ever a day u wake up n ur not an outright hater?
oscarpiastri no cause you guys are hanging out without so that really fuels my ability to hate
kidy/n u got ur own gf mate, spend time with her?? >:(
oscarpiastri SHE IS LITERALLY WITH YOU RN TAKING THIS PICTURE
sebastianvettel this doesn’t scream “not dating” to the rest of the world btw
kidy/n ugh nobody will know grandpa
sebastianvettel wow hater alert
georgerussell63 still not dating i presume? 🤨
kidy/n no sir
georgerussell63 i smell a big fat lie i fear
user5 IS THAT LOGAN HUNTER SARGEANT QUEEN?
user6 pls stop lying to the world and just kiss after a race 🙏🏼🙏🏼
user7 and why exactly is he nOt the one pushing u in a kart??
kidy/n
📍 home
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 56,984 others
kidy/n didn’t see the news cause we were somewhere else
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oscarpiastri having fun without me should be a crime tbh
sebastianvettel this is why u weren’t answering ur phone?? ☹️
lilyzneimer photo credits where? 😔
kidy/n omg so trueeeeee i’m sorry i forgot
charles_leclerc making the uk look fun is a magic power
maxverstappen1 i heard the uk is only fun cause y/n lives there
landonorris what’s all this slander???
logansargeant
🎵 rex orange county - best friend
liked by oscarpiastri, kidy/n and 56,940 others
logansargeant the only problem living with your best friend is that every night is party night
view 288 comments…
kidy/n why are u telling people we’re alcoholics
oscarpiastri first you move in together, and now you’re not even inviting me to drink???
lilyzneimer cant believe i scored an invitation and u didnt
oscarpiastri wtf
kidy/n lol tough life oscar
user8 wow i thought they lived with oscar ngl
oscarpiastri ugh i wish
user9 why would he? he’s got a girlfriend
user10 really not dating?
sebastianvettel not sure how to feel about this
user11 them actually not being romantically involved is my roman empire
user12 in one universe, they’ve GOT to be dating
user13 it HAS TO BE THIS UNIVERSE PLEASE PLEASE PL
kidy/n so based
user13 wait i
formula1 drink safely pls 😀 (i’m begging for an invite)
logansargeant only if u pay for the alcohol
williamsracing not very family friendly of u ngl
kidy/n im sorry williams i tried to stop him ☹️
williamsracing its only ok bc its u
logansargeant ?
kidy/n posted on their story!
logansargeant wowwww look at you go bb!! so pretty!!!
kidy/n ehheheheehhe
oscarpiastri wow busy girl
sebastianvettel and kristen approved of this!!?!?
kidy/n WDYM SHE GOT ME THE ON THE PODCAST
sebastianvettel oh ok. youre just kinda wild lately idk
kidy/n whats that supposed to mean
sebastianvettel 🤷🏼♀️
maxverstappen1 the uggs are a no from me
kidy/n ok red bull merch lover
“thank you so much for being on the show,” hannah smiles into the mic. “i’m shocked to even receive the email from your pr manager, actually.”
“no, yeah,” she grins, nails pressed against her lips, biting down on the bottom. she’s never actually been on a podcast before. “we were talking about making an appearance somewhere, but i’m kinda - very - intimidated by men. i chose this podcast specifically.”
“oh, you know of our existence,” emma gushes, giggling slightly. “we feel so honoured. thank you so much.”
“honestly, i’m always around men,” she laughs, scrunching her nose. “i live with a man. so being around women is always a very nice change.”
“right, you recently moved in with logan sargeant in the uk,” hannah points out. “if you don’t mind me asking, how did that decision come about? because you’re really good friends with oscar piastri as well, how come he doesn’t live with you guys?”
“oh, that’s an interesting point,” emma frowns. “i never thought of that.”
“yeah, so growing up oscar and logan actually stayed with my family on and off just because they’ve got brothers and sisters that their parents would have to attend to back home,” she recalls out loud, remembering the sleepovers they’ve spend in the living room with her siblings. “i think when i was… like 15, oscar was 16, and logan was 17, obviously.
i think my sister and i had a really bad fight that turned the house upside down. i mentioned that i couldn’t wait to move out and never speak to her again — i was very overdramatic as a teen. and they were like ‘yeah, that’s a good idea! we should get a place!’”
“oh, so you didn’t even propose the idea of living together?”
“exactly! they just love inviting themselves to be a part of my life. they’ve got cars while i don’t, so that’s a big plus,” she laughs. “then, well, oscar met lily when he was 18 and they got an apartment together after oscar landed reserve driver for alpine. which then left logan and i to kinda figure things out. then, we both landed a contract to race in the 2023 season and both our racing headquarters are in uk, luckily. so we made the decision to move in together earlier this year.”
“so oscar bailed!”
“that’s okay,” she scoffs, waving off the host’s concern. “we live pretty close by, so lily and oscar are always at our place anyway.”
“so, i totally don’t wanna get into it. but like, girl to girl,” hannah grins giddily. “and i promise we’ll get into the racing stuff in a bit, but i’m just curious.”
“it’s okay because i like you guys,” she jokes. “ask away.”
“there’s a lot of speculation that you and logan seem to be too close to just be best friends,” hannah explains. “and it’s seemed to be a trend since you were in f2 together, so i just wanna ask you if… well…”
she smiles. this isn’t exactly the first time she’s heard that. while they preferred to keep their relationship under wraps for several reasons, her and logan aren’t very discreet either.
there are pictures on the internet, after races where they head to weigh-in together with logan holding her things, laughing as they walk, which is normal. but there are also a couple of pictures where they were caught with logan’s hand on her cheek, or of them walking in the paddocks with her hands wrapped around his arm.
she’s not shocked that people talk about their relationship, but more shocked that everyone seems to shrug it off as them being really good friends.
“we’re actually not romantically involved at all,” she lies, though her cheeks flush up at the thought of her boyfriend. “i think we met really early on in life so we’re super comfortable with each other.”
“so, you’re setting the record straight. you don’t have a man.”
she nods firmly. “i don’t have a man. not planning to get one — i’ve just been really busy with my career. if anything, logan is my stand-in date for every event.”
“that’s true friendship if i’ve ever seen one.”
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hello ^^
was wondering if youd be able to write something about the demon brothers (and maybe diavolo too) with mc whos a little dumb? as in they forget a lot of stuff (what day it is, where they put something only a few seconds ago, etc) and dont know a lot of things even if its obvious. theyre also a bit gullible and fall for fake news or scams a lot. basically a bimbo/himbo type of mc.
hi!! yeah sure thing!
actually went to google if there was a gender neutral version of bimbo himbo and apparently there actually is
presenting: thembo! haha I love this term
enjoy :)
Thembo/Himbo/Bimbo Mc
Lucifer
very protective of you
can't help but internally smile whenever you forget your train of thought or asks him what today's date is for the third time
if there's an unreliable news source that keeps finding it's way into your hands he sees personally that they mysteriously goes out of business
gotten surprisingly good at finding things you lost, like he'll just move one thing out of the way and what you're looking for will be there (big mom energy here)
Mammon
he's a himbo himself tbh
you're cut from the same cloth so you can be silly together
100% both of you will ask each other the time, check your D.D.D., and only leave that situation with what percent it's at so you have to check again and still don't have the time
you match each other's energy so well it's meant to be
Levi
he's not quite sure how to feel at first
he gets overwhelmed by the amount of questions you ask, but once you start asking questions about his games, you're instantly close
he doesn't mind repeating himself since you actually care about him
sometimes he forgets everything besides gaming so he gets it
Satan
if Mammon is your birds of a feather flock together, he's your opposite attract moment, even better than Lucifer
he always makes sure to let you know if something you've heard is fake or not and always makes it a lesson even though despite you listening, never seems to stick but that's ok he still loves you
however he loves how you embrace all of the things he loves even if you don't fully get it, like all the more complicated books he reads for fun
it's alright he has enough brains for the both of you lol
Asmo
sometimes he's very himbo so he has solutions to your problems
gives you a cute little invisible ink pen that activates when you stand or sit in spots you're in a lot to write on your arm with since regular ink isn't cute (solomon made it <3)
always asks you if you have everything before you leave the house with a checklist, and when you got home
please make sure to thank him!!
Beel
he also has the same oblivious nature, but he's more dense while you're more airhead
if you put your heads together (and with a little help from belphie) you can usually figure it out
will help you look for your D.D.D. while the both of you use the flashlight on your D.D.D.
ultimate duo fr
Belphie
he thinks you're so silly but tries to keep any playfully mean comments to a minimum
sometimes he can't help but poke fun at you but afterwards he always tells you he's sorry and tells you you're pretty
straight up puts tracking devices on important items that you handle everyday so that if you lose something, you can easily find it again, such as your toothbrush and textbooks
Diavolo
another sorta himbo, since he seems like he has no idea what he's doing but actually is very aware
if you lose something and really can't find it, no worries! he can just buy you a new one or have the Little D's search for it since they'll do anything to help you out
very understanding and sweet about it since he kinda gets it
the both of you can embrace this lifestyle together
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