#its just. the lack of effort kinda stings lol idk!!!!!!!

[burger-louise]

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#personal #dont mind me im gonna start complaining in the tags bc i just need to put this SOMEWHERE before i explode #i dont wanna be ungrateful............... ive been having the roughest weirdest time with my friends lately #and my friend just gave me my birthday present that was like a group present from them #which is what we normally do so like no surprises there #and they got me a nice gift like it was very nice of them to get me a polaroid camera #but i just. cant help but feel. disappointed. #bc it was so obvious that only one friend put in the effort to sus out what i potentially wanted #and even then it was something i was only kinda sure of #and like there were so many things i had wanted more surely idk #this sounds so petty of me like why didnt they get me something i wanted more >:(( #its just. the lack of effort kinda stings lol idk!!!!!!! #and also lowkey salt in the wound moment bc like i wanted a polaroid camera back when we were still hanging out regularly #but we dont really anymore and i dont really hang out with anyone anymore #so wtf am i supposed to take polaroids of???? #gonna just pictures of random shit and be like ah yes look at all this scenery and my no friends #it makes me miserable just thinking about it #anyone who enters my room and sees my severe lack of people in my polaroids is gonna clock me straight away i hate this actually #i just. wish. they got me something that didnt feel like my heart was being ripped out #it just feels. bad. i dont like this gift that is basically a reminder of how miserable my life is rn

[lilparcheesie]

I got ze tagged

Last: 1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: Jacob (my coworker) needed to find his phone

3. Text message: “Your face matches Natalie’s backpack” - @reallifeshitpost​ 4. Song you listened to: Lustration//Circa Survive before this or Buried a Lie//Senses Fail during this 5. Time you cried: A yesterday!! I saw sting rays (which are super cute) and was already having a really bad day, so I just cried because Nick putting them up on the board made me so happy I cried.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes sadly

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: y e s lol its the worst 8. Been cheated on: :’)   9. Lost someone special: Too many and I’m scared of losing more.. 10. Been depressed: I don’t know… honestly, I workout so often that even if I was I would have no idea because I have so much dopamine in me that I’m always w i r e d. But if I was depressed, or had any mental illness, it would most likely be PTSD or anxiety. Probably from childhood abuse. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never, actually.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Teal, Coral, Light Gray… I have so many though

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes! So many!! I’m so lucky!!!

16. Fallen out of love: Honestly? No. I think I never really fall out of love. I just grow negative feelings that consume those lovelier ones. Ya know?

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes! So many times! For hours!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, but I try to remember the times where people talk behind my back about loving me much. That’s all I care about

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes, she’s keeping me alive in my struggles. He’s making it possible for me to live comfortably. I’m lucky.

20. Found out who your friends are: I love friendship. A lot of people have negative connotations around friendships, and how fast they’ll leave or betray them. If I feel like I’m just waiting to get stabbed, abandoned, or offended, I’ll never really enjoy them. And even if I get hurt, it’s a learning process. I just like to keep people around who are enjoyable company. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I kiss people, yeah. I love kisses. It’s one of my favorite parts of being with someone. They make me feel good. But, I don’t kiss anyone unless I am sure they have feelings for me and vice versa.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Like.. all of them? I didn’t add any onliners, heck?

23. Do you have any pets: Yeahh! Two dogs, a boxer named Sammy and a English Silky Terrior named Binky.

24. Do you want to change your name: Legally? sometimes. Sometimes I don’t. It’s confusing sometimes.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: It was on Thanksgiving so it was forgotten by everyone I was with, but that’s okay. Thanksgiving is important here.

26. What time did you wake up: 6:42.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was woken up to get somebody into their room.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The sweet release of death Transferring schools 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: In person? Almost 7 weeks ago. In photo? My friend Mick was with her yesterday.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: That I had financial stability… Less of a crazy upbringing… Met some people earlier in my life. 31. Listening right now: Escape the Fate radio on Spotify. My students talking about robots (aka my class). 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah! Thomas works with me. I’ve met others, but that is the most recent Thomas.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that I am not getting better as much as I’d like and my body when it’s in pain and failing i honestly hate failing

34. Most visited website: uuuuh… www.tumblr.com??? uh… www.thepunchlineismachismo.com ???

35. Mole/s: I have none. I think it’s fine.

36. Mark/s: I have some stretch marks and scarring all over my body

37. Childhood dream: Theatre star, athlete, engineer, tinkerer… I had all the dreams

38. Hair color: Brunette/Auburn

39. Long or short hair: It’s medium length now! Used to be down past my butt but all that changed when the fire nation attacked and I cut my hair super short for rowing

40. Do you have a crush on someone: I do… it’s pretty bad. I’d like to give them my heart as an offering but they like.. basically have all rights to me and I want to do everthing in my power to make them happy

41. What do you like about yourself: My open mindedness or empathetic approach towards others. Lack of subtlety. My heart (my crush says I have resilience and I think that’s good)

42. Piercings: My ears

43. Blood type: Not really sure?

44. Nickname: Jughead, Toe, Tori, Sumner

45. Relationship status: I’m not sure but I’m only emotionally and physically invested in one person

46. Zodiac: Sagittarius, watch out bitches

47. Pronouns: She/Her  

48. Favorite TV Show: Supernatural? Avatar TLAB? Too many.

49. Tattoos: Possibly sometimes

50. Right or left hand: left

51. Surgery: A bunch

52. Hair dyed in different color: Yeah

53. Sport: I played literally every sport growing up because my mom wanted me to lose weight and not be so useless

55. Dream Vacation: Somewhere with stingrays

56. Pair of trainers: Nikes atm. But I love converse

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: pussy & dick  Vegetables are nice

58. Drinking: water but if I’m spoiling myself, tea or vanilla coke

59. I’m about to: Go to lunch and refresh

61. Waiting for: the day i feel satisfied with my efforts

62. Want: All my grades to be A+, financial stability, someone to take care of me, more music, fresh fruit and veggies, a nice bath using herbal soaps and lots of bubbles. For someone to love me for who I actually am, not just some concept they made up that left out all the bad things..

63. Get married: Probably. I mean. That’s the goal.

64. Career: I wanted to be an engineer but I’m thinking about focusing more on robotics or design careers… so… robotic things seem neat.. idk…

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Kiss me all over, please

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes… or lips… i don’t know theyre all cute

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: Not too far from my age, older though(?)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms? I dunno I actually super appreciate cute arms.. but.. if a tummy is soft enough it might win me over.

71. Sensitive or loud: Definitely sensitive.. I don’t like loud things unless it’s music

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationships are always better because wow they’re so much fun

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: It’s hard to say?? Uh.. I mean I like the caution that comes with being hesitant but the daringness that comes with being a troublemaker? I’d probably stay on the safe side and be hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: No

75. Drank hard liquor: No

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: One time I had a contact rip in four while it was in my eye… I was so sad.

77. Turned someone down: Yes

78. Sex on the first date: Nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: Not intentionally…

80. Had your heart broken: Yeah…

81. Been arrested: Nope!

82. Cried when someone died: Not really. I get sad when I find out people die, but I internalize it a lot. It’s just a natural thing. Like.. all their love.. gone… and i feel it takes love away from me.

83. Fallen for a friend: A few. One recently.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Yes

85. Miracles: Somewhat

86. Love at first sight: Kinda

87. Santa Claus: Not anymore 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure if it goes well but I’m not going to rush things if it isn’t meant to be you know

OTHER: 90. Current best friend(s) name: Cait, Yoll, Nick, Joe (the PA), Natalie

91. Eye color: Hazel? Blue-Green? I don’t know.

92. Favorite movie: Big Fish (Tim Burton)

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this kinda thing really

#i hope everyone is doing well