#ive been going insane with this au on twitter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sadisthetic · 1 year

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alarmingly long hanahaki au jaya. i hurt jay quite a bit in this. this is a product of 4 straight days of insanity. im SO ILL. ABOUT JAYA. IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I COMMEND YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME IN ADVANCE.

once again adapted from a twitter thread. its. like 165 tweets long. yeah. yeah. im lazy so its gonna be mostly copy pasted and lightly edited so if it sounds like im talking to myself I WAS. AND I WAS DOING IT FOR FOUR DAYS.

anyways heres the start.

so hanahaki.... jaya.... season 3...... jay is absolutely the guy who gets hanahaki theres absolutely no doubt about that like absolutely none. but the world building tho... how should i handle it.... i want it to be canon compliantish. and more importantly. when should i give him symptoms. what would be most interesting

sure. i could give him hanahaki after he find out about nyas perfect match. but haha

what if he get petals earlier tho.

he doesnt understand why at first, why jay starts coughing up petals, he and nya are dating and in love. there shouldnt be any reason for it. its not bad yet so he just ignores it really hard or thinks he mustve gotten a weird strain because theres now way he has normal hanahaki because theres No Way! haha

so when he hears the truth there in his parents trailer, the roots around his lungs constrict and he cant tell the pain apart from his heart breaking in two. his chest hurts so much and he sees cole and just goes ballistic

just imagine. what thats like for him. hes mad but its a secondary response to the heartbreak. hes had signs literally inside all along but to actually find out? like this? jay cant take it

haha. the double date would suck so much HAHA. he holds it in through the whole duration of the movie but when its over he vomits full flowers in the bathroom

ive been mulling over the worldbuilding of hanahaki in this au of mine. i thinking i want it to be a departure from the standard hanahaki worldbuilding thats in fics. just slightly. mostly regarding the fatality and maybe treatments........ i think i want jay to have hanahaki the whole time until skybound. and so i think im gonna have to make hanahaki nonlethal. but kinda like chronic pain. if you cant let go of that love

im partially adopting another fics worldbuilding but i like the idea you can recover on your own if you simply fall out of love. its easier and less damaging the earlier you give up on the love. the roots atrophy and fade and theres not that much scarring. you can easily recover

but you know...... its jay. hes not gonna let it go. he cant. he loves nya.... i think he hides his affliction tho... because he knows nya doesnt want to get back together. and he doesnt want to look you know.... pathetic? desperate? overly clingy?

“you still hasnt gotten over nya?” “dude come on.” “give it up.” he doesnt want to hear it from the others. because he doesnt want to.

but also he wants to save face in front of nya. hes scared itll drive her even further away. his heart cant take more of that. this distance hurts enough

so for months.............. he suffers the pain of one sided love. quietly. pretending that nothing is wrong and that jay is okay with them just being friends. of course jay could choose to surgically remove the hanahaki.... but he doesnt want to do that

i think im gonna keep a bit of the amnesia worldbuilding standard fics have. but im not gonna have it so that artificially removing the hanahaki makes you forget the person you love. no.... just the love that you felt. i think jay doesnt want to lose his love for nya..... also not being able to fall in love with nya scares him. hes just that fucking attached to her. he has it bad man. dude has attachment issues. hes so clingy.

anyways. jay chooses to suffer. because hes that badly in love

jay self medicates on over the counter cough suppressants thats meant for the cold and more normal sickness. works surprisingly well. not ideal tho. he also fills his pockets with cough drops and sometimes makes himself sick when he accidentally eats too much on bad days

he gets sick of them. the sweet icky taste and menthol nausea but he doesnt have that many better ways to deal. its just a temporary fix too. considering that coughing is his body's natural way to get rid of the petals. and hes just letting them sit in his lungs

periodically he has to stay hunched over a trashcan to clear out the petals and yes its an awful experience every time. it becomes routine. the petals scratch his throat on the way out and he gets into tea to soothe the irritation. he becomes a regular at mistake's

in general, his ability to breathe starts to decline and he gets winded so much more easily. the plants in his chest limit his airflow and also steals the oxygen from his lungs. his chest is tight always and aches like theres thick needles lodged in his chest. those are the roots

usually its manageable. but it becomes harder to fight. battles usually end up leaving him wheezing. one of the guys teases him about it. that hes slacking and getting out of shape. he sidesteps that convo tho and brushes them off. he certainly cant be honest

im a sadist so im gonna making him pass out after one fairly vigorous battle. one which he has to push himself harder to make it out alive. so hard that his lungs cant keep up with the rest of his body and even when he gets himself to a safe corner or clearing, no amount of breaths is enough and he just blacks out. he eventually comes to a worried face shaking him awake. ill figure out who and when this is set later. either way they just assume jay got knocked out even though they cant find any wounds. theyre relieved he seems fine

but that was very bad. super duper bad for jay tho. he cant let that happen again. but these kinds of things are out of his control tho. but he just has to deal.

things comes to a head in skybound. i think itll be most dramatic if nya finds out in the lighthouse. after she rescues them and they successfully flee. when they settle and in moment jay cant hide he coughs out a gross mass of petals

and nya has a slow step by step realization of the implications. but before all that happens tho. nadakhan. i dont think he knew jay had hanahaki when he first targeted him. maybe. this point might change

but as it is, for the thought i have, nadakhan learns when jays meds wears off, and hes not even able to pop in a cough drop his mouth. and he vomits a messy slurry of petals onto the wooden floorboards of the deck. its EXTREMELY FUNNY to nadakhan, he mocks jay for it! he has hanahaki! that is so tragic! to think jay has known his love was utterly unrequited and yet he tried so hard to win her back. but it was all a hopeless, desperate, pathetic endeavor. so nya truly doesnt love jay, hm? so shes single and free for the taking. no hard feelings, then, when they marry

up on the ship, he coughs up so many flowers. he doesnt get enough sleep from the persistent coughing. and passes out multiple times, for a collection of reasons. from being knocked out, exhaustion, apnea, running out of breath after several matches of scrap n tap

i think it would be really sad and pathetic if there one incident where he chokes on a flower. and he cant cough it out and he thinks gonna die for reals. a pirate helps him out only to add insult to injury (and to torment him more to pull a wish out of him, hes better off alive than dead)

when hes rescued by his friends, theres no flowers around so none of his friends suspect. jay manages to keep the petals in his mouth, catching them behind his teeth, and swallows them back in. he coughs pretty bad but they all think he just got really sick. he looks awful after all

but thats of course only up until the lighthouse. ive been contemplating about how nya handles it all...... how she feels......... what is the most satisfying route here is much more trickier to figure out than just a fixit skybound au.......

feelings are trickier and much more loaded........ the revelation certainly isnt going to be an easy thing for nya to swallow..... but lighthouse talk has so much potential....... jay might be honest for once..... because he has to be.... forced to be!

ngl lighthouse part of skybound has been super elevated in my head by favorite skybound fic so my perceptions of it and my own take on it for this au is probably going to be influenced by that. not in the sense im copying scenes but in the sense of like. oh yeah writer IS right, lighthouse ep TOTALLY has the massive potential for big feels and honesty. and revealing trauma/hurt feels. anyways. let me talk a bit about nya and the little dilemma i have.....

so like...... nyas part in the story is so tricky to handle.... because she entirely determines the ending of this story. much more so than in the original canon.....

because the crux of this story is the love between nya and jay... the lack of thereof from nya and the undying love from jay. hanahaki. unrequited love. the story is not just about jay making mistakes and being flawed as a person and being tested as a person and learning and growing his mistakes

in this au, the focus is specifically on his love for nya and how hes willing to hang onto it for so long despite how much it literally hurts him. love hurts. its barely even worth it. but to jay it is. this story is driven by his love. however how it ends all depends on nya.....

and heres the thing.... i know the way the "romance" in skybound was resolved was..... whats the word..... forced? it was insufficiently developed.... i cant recall the exact word i wanna use but it was just. tacked on. nyas change of heart kinda came out of nowhere....

nyas line in the lighthouse before she pushed jay through the portal is honestly inconsistent with her characterization that season up to the point. shes really didnt seem like she loved jay back at all. its entirely because the writers didnt write in those feelings

it takes a bit of creative thinking and interpretation to make jays and nyas get together at the end of the season work. you have to fill in the gaps of the romance yourself if you want it and want it to make sense and have it be satisfying

what i do for my fix it interpretation of canon is that nya didnt actually stop loving jay entirely in s3 breakup arc. instead i choose to think is that nyas desire for independence simply grew stronger enough to eclipse her love for jay

also i like to think nya liked jay more casually than he loves her so it was easier to break off their relationship. if youve seen my dream divorce ot3 slowburn get together break up get together fic (concept) (that only exactly two people know what im talking about). and also string of fate au. ESPECIALLY IN STRING OF FATE AU. then you know. my take on them. ANYWAYS.

the problem i have for this au is that i cant do that. i cant use that same interpretation to have them get together again. it doesnt work. because in this au.........nya really did fall out of love for jay. and having them get together again just like canon isnt.......satisfying

its tricky..... because to make nya fall in love with jay now after she learns he has hanahaki..... if im not careful ill be doing the same thing that the writers are doing. writing a careless romance solely because i want them to be together

and i DO want them to be together again.... but it requires a considerate approach if i really do want it. here..... the situation is this..... nya finds out jays has truly been in love with her for months STILL. and its bad enough he got hanahaki. i think she might feel uncomfortable about that. its unwanted love you know? being the object of someones desires still after you long broke up with them. she has moved on but jay hasnt? its super awkward for her...... but also...............

jay knows that. nya isnt stupid. she realizes that jay knows that and thats exactly why he kept it from her in the first place....... shes also uncomfortable because... jay is suffering because of her. she broke it off with him but its not like she doesnt care about jay

no she still does. jay is still someone important to her. hes not just some ex. hes still a friend.... and her heart aches seeing jay suffer. her heart twists realizing that jay has been suffering this whole time on his own and she had no idea.

and it was out of consideration for her. its not entirely her fault jay has hanahaki..... but also she does feel a little bit responsible. sure jay messed up a lot recently and all of it is because he wanted to get back together with her and she doesnt like that.... but also..

learning about it put some things into perspective for her. like shes uncomfortable but jay has been hurt and is genuinely hurting still and she doesnt want to hurt him more and she wants to be gentle. so she starts thinking first. before she proceeds to deal with feelings

and so she starts really thinking about it. she was mad. she was mad jay kept so many secrets from them and endangered them all. and that he was STILL attached to her after all this time. shes still a little mad about that but also its subsiding a bit now....

if she really thinks about it.... jay had been respecting their break and her boundaries up until recently. in fact she only found out now, months later. jay actually did do a pretty good job of hiding those feelings. and not only that... his hanahaki.

that. she doesnt fucking understand how jay kept that a secret. ITS HANAHAKI. HOW DID HE HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. ITS THE MOST VISIBLE DISEASE. maybe she did notice jay smothering a cough or clearing his throat every so often but to think it was hanahaki this entire time......

....when did it start even...? she can only assume that it was around their breakup. they eventually have a talk. a really important one that jay cant run away from. it takes a bit for jay to be fully honest and tell her that he started spitting petals when they were still together

she becomes mortified by that fact. and what that means. and she gains a bit of perspective of how the perfect match debacle looked from jays perspective. she really was.... a terrible girlfriend during all that huh.... to nya it felt like a clean break..... but to jay.... it left him pretty raw.

it didnt hit nya until know how much jay was hurt by the breakup even without considering the hanahaki. jay still loves her despite her cheating on him and making him fight over her because she couldnt decide? it seems that jay doesnt even care about that. doesnt even think she was a terrible girlfriend at the end of their relationship when she very much was. something is deeply wrong with jay (he loves her too much). jay hadnt been the best...... he had been really selfish and self centered. esp with the whole wish thing

but she comes to a realization that she was being really self centered too. its unfair for her to criticize jay for that when the very beginning of it all was because of nyas own selfishness. its unfair for jay to break up over something so stupid like a match making machine

of course part of it was still on jay. he should have still let go. you cant have a relationship in which only one person is in love. but.... she couldve gone about it in a better way. a way that wouldnt have hurt jay so much at the very least

he has apologized for everything involving nadakhan and keeping secrets.... maybe taking on more blame than he should.... nya owes jay an apology too. so at the very least she gives him a proper one. for her own faults

but she doesnt know how to fix jays hanahaki tho...... and to be honest? neither does jay. he tells her this. despite everything he didnt want to force her to love him. he didnt want to guilt her back into a relationship. he didnt want her to give him her pity also

thats part of the reason why he kept it a secret. he wanted to *win* her back. make himself more appealing so that nya would love him again. jay was super misguided in his approach and didnt understand why exactly nya broke up with him in the first place

but thats what he wanted... nyas genuine love. (im ignoring a tiny chip of canon for this. or im considering it a moment of weakness (jays dismay when he learns he cant wish for love). creative interpretation is that seeing his future in the mirror made him too hopeful and a bit desperate) anyways. jay is a hopeless romantic. who is extremely lovelorn. also hes chronically ill like literally. cut him a little slack

anyways anyways. i dont want nya to just get back together with him right after finding out about his hanahaki. its bad romance. it wont taste good. it wont be genuine.........

as it is...... of course theres multiple options................ but they arent all happy. and i do feel like. a story like this does need a happy ending..... it would be too sad if it remains unresolved. im just gonna talk about the ends that kinda suck first

most unsatisfying but technically still very plausible end: a standstill. nya cant do anything to help. she wants to but she cant return jays love. jay understands but decides keep living with the hanahaki. the two of them keep living in this awkward status quo, knowing.

eventually jays hanahaki gets too much for him to handle and he either dies or nya/the others take matters into their own hands and without his consent, send him to surgery bc hes dying. unethical maybe but they want him to live

its super awkward after that.... but things return to normal and they all forget about it except for nya, where it lays heavy in her mind forever. if he dies its just tragedy. i dont want this kinda of end

a potential good neutral end however can be one in which jay tries his best to simply move on. try to process his one sided love into something... different somehow. because he accepts that nya has fallen out of love with him. he has long accepted that.

but they talk........... and a lot happens (being pushed into the portal, the rest of skybound). and jay has a realization too. nya may not love him in the same way.... it doesnt mean she doesnt love him. she still cares deeply.....

she cares about him a lot as a friend. that love is still worth something. its..... its more than what jay thought nya felt about him. it honestly felt like their relationship get demoted all the way down back to acquaintances, at best coworkers. not technically. they were still friends. but jay felt a yawning distance between them after the break up. its one part nya distancing herself from jay after that whole disaster. its also another part jay keeping his distance so that nya doesnt learn about his hanahaki

whatever talk between them was either just ninja business, surface level casual conversations, or small talk. it was awkward but only when they dwelled on it... (and jay did dwell on it) but in the lighthouse they actually talk Talked about things... about them. and jay learns

nya sacrifices herself to save jay in the lighthouse and he realizes that he still matters to her. the everpresent tightness in his chest doesnt leave but it.... loosens. and he breathes easier for the first time in a while

he still wishes that nya and him could get together romantically. but something about his feelings changes. he feels less lovelorn somehow. his heart still yearns a little. but somehow he feels more okay. he hurts less

and once time turns back and jay and nya share this secret and finally properly reconcile after everything is done. the pain in his chest abates more and more as time goes on. hes not sure if hes exactly cured. but he can live without hurting now somehow

he learns how to live with his unrequited love. and more importantly he doesnt need his love to be requited anymore. because love is love you know? she doesnt love him romantically but she does still love him. and thats still good

they were always a little mismatched in their feelings for each other anyways. jay isnt settling for lesser. nyas love for him now is just different not less. and jay accepts that. and hes content that they managed to fix them. their relationship. hes okay and happy

his own feelings... he doesnt know if they changed themselves also like nyas has. he doesnt feel like his love has changed. but the nature of it mightve become more ambiguous. and it doesnt matter anyways. he loves nya and that will never change

hmmmm i think this became less of a neutral end and more just an unrequited good end. and accidentally poured so much aro juice into it oh my god? i had a good requited end thought up kinda also before this end i just talked about the end first bc i wanted to talk about requited end last

i kinda came to really like good unrequited end........ im still gonna talk about good requited end tho. i kinda want opinions about which end is narratively the best..... even though i only have a confident audience of two

i think requited end is a bit more dramatic..... nya really doesnt know what to do. she broke it off with jay. she wants to fix him. she really wishes he didnt get hanahaki for *her* of all people....

whats so great about her anyways that he would live like this for months on end be just ok with it. she thinks if she was in jays shoes she would long moved on. she doesnt get what is worth the pain and risk

either way she doesnt want to date him out of pity. she distinctly has a feeling that wouldnt actually fix anything. and probably jay doesnt want that too. but also she cant fabricate love

she feels suffocated by just the prospect and it reminds nya about why she dumped jay in the first place. this whole thing reminds nya why she dumped him. jays love was always too much for her. smothering. of course he gets hanahaki. why is she even surprised. if anyone would, its jay. she doesnt want to resent him for it though. hes hurting because of it. and he spared it from nya up to this point and she only found out because jay couldnt help it. who knows how much longer he wouldve kept this secret

but as is. she doesnt know what to do. so they stay in the lighthouse awkwardly together. they were honest with each other but now what? .....actually. curing hanahaki can come later. they gotta focus on saving their friends and all of ninjago first before they can deal with them

HHMMMMMMMM....... i think despite knowing about how much jay love her.... she doesnt really... Get It. HOW he loves her i mean. quantity vs quality. when they were first dating, to her it was really casual. in my mind jay was first attracted to nya shallowly too

but then he fell deeper. more genuinely. and that contributed to a greater discrepancy between their level of affection. nya for the most part has been believing that jays obsession with her is because hes just too clingy and attached. and like he is. but.... its like the product of the intensity of the emotion you know? his love for her manifested in jay in a way that put nya off a little. contributed to the reason why nya dumped him all those months ago.... having a heart to heart gave her some perspective on what it has been like for jay but

thats different from Understanding you know? comprehending... seeing the depth... anyways... so jay had been acting too chivalrous up to that point right? and then nya learns about jays hanahaki and chalks up his behavior to him overcompensating...... a symptom even

nya thinks its just jay trying his best to win her back. she doesnt really have that many reasons to think otherwise. its whats consistent. this all happened because jay wanted them to get together again. whatever, she has decided that shes going to forgive jay for all that, needless acts of chivalry included. even tho. she really doesnt like that. calls it a force of habit and puts it aside. for more Important Things like taking care of jay and taking nadakhan Down

but then they get found and theyre scrambling fast to prepare for the attack and counterattack. they manage to fall into a frantic but familiar routine of collaborative repairs and fixes and asides from jays incessant coughing reminding nya that things are pretty awful.... its nice

she doesnt get to feel that way for long tho. their haven is raided and their prep wasnt enough, theyre struggling, theres way too many pirates and its just the two of them against what feels like an army and theyre on the way to losing and nadakhan is nowhere to be found

they try to stick together to have each others backs but they get separated anyways and they start doing even worse. im changing up the action scene btw. nya manages sweep a bunch of pirates away but doubloon is one of the ones that could actually put up a fight

meanwhile jay isnt fairing very well and maybe worse because he was already injured and also his hanahaki makes it really hard. he fights for his breath trying to hold his own. he gets fucking smashed by dogshank through the floor onto the stairwell below. all the air is knocked from him

and he legitimately cant breathe for a solid moment. hes wheezing and he coughs hard enough to vomit. he doesnt have his breath back when he looks up and sees nya panicking at the sight of him and shes distracted and jay sees doubloon take an opening

jay doesnt even breathe when he instantly fires a lightning bolt from prone towards doubloon. and hes already up and sprinting to nyas side to fill her blindspot.

hes on the cusp of an asthma attack, he can feel it, but he doesnt have the time to worry about it (as if he had any control over it) his chest is tight and his breaths are too shallow and it hurts but he pushes through it to protect nya. hes slipping though

assaulted from all sides, between doubloon and dogshank and all the pirates, jay knows theyre going to lose. mostly because of him. hes dragging the two of them down and why did he ever think the two of them had the chance and why did he ever think that nadakhan would even come (hes not gonna this turned into a full divergence now) and even if he wasnt flagging hard now, he can feel it his chest that hes going to pass out if this goes on for any longer and leave nya to fend for himself and get them both captured and he cant let that happen.

nya is at her wits fucking end she can feel them losing too and nya refuses to think about how at this rate both of them are going down, but she wont let them. but, among the harsh clangs of weapons, the rush of floods, and the cracks of lightning at jays fingertips,

through all this discord, at this proximity she can hear jays struggled breaths and its the most terrifying sound in the world. then suddenly shes shoved to the side and hears a crash and a cry and when nya looks jays sliced through by doubloons sword

then something glows by her feet and nya realizes what jay did. he broke the teapot. clutching at his wound, jay gives nya a strained smile. he says "sorry" and kicks her in before she can object. before the portal closes she watches jay take a stand only to be subdued

she lands in the junkyard with a bad tumble. she just lies in the dust and dirt in shock. it happened too fast. jay sacrificed himself for her? jay risked himself even though he was the one who needed protecting and got himself hurt to pull that stunt.

and now hes in their clutches again. rage begins to well up. why! why?! why did jay do that?! is he stupid! there had to be a better way, they couldve escaped together and regrouped! tears begin to well up as well. nya gets up and smashes a bunch of junk

jays parents come out after that. and nya realizes where she is for the first time and forces herself to calm down. she sorts out her feelings over ednas soup after shes pulled into the trailer.....

at first she doesnt get it. shes too upset to think about it. she vents to jays parents about what he did. "why did he do that?" and it was meant to be a rhetorical question for herself but edna gives her an answer thats way too simple.

"because he loves you."

and nya is hit with another rude realization. shes been having too many of those

jay..... loves her. deeply. truly loves her genuinely, more than he cares about himself. its not just lingering attachment. its a deeper, more sincere love than nya could ever fathomed. nya knew how much jay loved her. but at the same time she didnt. she didnt get how he loved her

she feels a way about that. all this time jay loved her this bad? bad enough to catch hanahaki, bad enough to keep his hanahaki, bad enough to hide it. bad enough to *wish* for her love, to suffer, ang to get hurt for her...

she thinks he loves her bad enough to die for her. she really feels a way about that. her heart starts beating fast. she doesnt want to put together why. she kinda wants to cry.

why was she so mean to him... sometimes he deserved the little things he had coming but why was she so harsh. why did she fall out of love with him..... well she knows but also.... she was really unfair to him huh. jay wasnt perfect and he was too much but... she doesnt know.

all she knows is she feels a lot of regrets right now.. and moved by jay what did for her... along with this third unplaceable feeling.

(she started falling in love again)

its a slow gradual thing tho. nya doesnt place it immediately. she doesnt think she wanted to after she broke up with him herself. didnt even think it was possible.

but eventually nya feels very embarrassed by it when she realizes. because 1) oh my god shes falling in love with him after falling out of love and dumping him? is she shameless? and also 2) flustered because shes For Reals in love this time now beyond the casual kind of love she held for him before. this realizaton doesnt happen anytime soon. probs a good amount of time after everything resolves

so for narrative purposes i swapped jays and nyas roles for this last part of the story only. i think its safe to say jay is not treated kindly when he reboards the ship. in fact i think theyre even crueler for letting nya get away. before he was just roughed up to play with him

a form of coercion to get him to make his last wish. this time theyre taking it out on jay as punishment. nya assembles a rescue party like jay does in canon and somehow rescues jay and she hates the state that she finds him hes in

i think he'll be easier to rescue than nya because hes not like.... nadakhans bride. but wait..... WAIT NO IT COULD HARDER BECAUSE THEY COULD SET HIM UP AS BAIT FOR NYA TO COME GET HIM.... FUCK CURSE MY WHUMP DRIVEN BRAIN!!!!!!!!!! ITLL BE SO MUCH HARDER TO GET HIM LIKE THIS BUT—

THE IMAGE OF JAY BEING TIED/STRUNG UP IN PLAIN VIEW.... fuck. figuring it out is too hard and i dont even need to figure it out for the romance do i like goddammit. fucking sequencing..... maybe they get their friends out of the sword first.... somehow.

as for how they beat nadakhan..... i havent thought up a good way. i dont think it should go the same way as canon. i want nya to actually have her agency and not take it away again after ive given it to her.

i however dont know what jays wish should be. thats like so hard to figure out. this end is a significance divergence from canon. oh also jay has been thoroughly gagged so he cant say his wish. and also maybe because the pirates got sick of his coughing. nadakhans goal for torturing jay has changed.

he doesnt want him to break and submit and wish himself away anymore. he has better use in making sure nya comes to him. well he can still break him. its extra motivation. an incentive for nya to be a bit more faster and careless in her desperation to save him. he just shuts jay up also.

also im a sadist. anyways back to defeating nadakhan.... its a little tough ngl! for me and for nya! because this story has diverged so considerably. it cant have the same climax as canon. it just doesnt work. not even when theyre roleswapped

nya cant make a wish. she doesnt have anymore wishes. or hmm maybe she does have one left like jay does in this timeline but i dunno.... technically i could do that bc nya used up her wishes in only stupid ways so its not that hard of a change.

it changes their game plan in the lighthouse just a bit but in this version nadakhan doesnt even show up so story wise its a nonfactor. they both couldve made a wish and stopped things. but they dont get the chance to do that.

but either way nya having a wish is an option, not something thats set in stone. also i think nya gets a hold of the venom. either jay had passed it to her when he pushed her into the portal or it stayed on his person and was confiscated and nya obtained it because clancee told her about it. which ever works. man is jay doing rough in this au. hes suffering so many consequences....i think as hes bound and helpless, hes gonna have a lot of thoughts... and a lot of regrets

he wishes he never kept secrets, he wishes he didnt make things worse.... i think he wishes nya doesnt come and rescue him. because if she does and she gets captured and nadakhan marries her for infinite wishes then itll all be his fault. again. because nya risked herself for him

so jay hopes nya doesnt come. he wants her to be safe even if it means hes forever captured. its better than the worst case scenario.

but a tiny tiny tiny part of jay that is wishful does hope that he is rescued. because hes weak. he selfishly wants nya to save him

he shouldve learned by now that his desire for nya doesnt do him any good. but the part thats terrible and in love still wishes for better. he wants to be saved. he wants to be forgiven. he wants to fix things. he doesnt want to hurt anymore.

he thinks he can accept nya never loving him again. but he wants to stop aching in his chest. but he cant let go of his love. at this point its a part of who he is. so even though hes resigned to suffer and part of him foolishly hopes. he wishes

but jay doesnt get it. nya HAS forgiven him. she wishes she has never hurt jay like she did and if she could she would take it back. shes determined to fix things one way or any other. she has to save him or shes the worst. jay never deserved *all* of this.

once she saves him shes going to fix them. somehow.

and somehow they do. with a wish i cannot fucking figure out so SPARE ME. but i think... they dont go back in time. things arent undone and theres damage everywhere. so much repairs to be done. and theres a start to everything

i think i forgot to mention but at the end of unrequited good end, which honestly i think friendship end is a more fitting name, jay and nya hug at the end of skybound when time rolls back. no kiss. i think the same happens at the end of requited end too. time doesnt roll back but they have moment... hug.. but still no kiss. not yet. nya hasnt realized her feelings are changing. actually she might it takes a bit for them to develop. jay and nya start having a very honest relationship with each other tho

nya doesnt want to ignore jays hanahaki and jay comes to a similar conclusion as friendship/unrequited end. he realizes nya still cares for him A Lot as a friend, she cared so much she risked everything to walk into nadakhans trap guns blazin. and he doesnt want to jeopardize their friendship by distancing himself.

he wants things to be normal between them despite his hanahaki. and the funny thing is that... in this end, jays hanahaki gets somewhat more manageable too.... but its for a different reason in this au. lol. lol. because his feelings are becoming requited.

his hanahaki isnt suddenly gone one day because nyas feelings are so ambiguous tho. and when she does finally realize that shes fallen for jay. she actually goes into a bit of denial. for a mix of reasons.

its not because nya doesnt want to cure jay of his hanahaki. she just didnt think thats a thing that can happen. falling in love again. she was also so very sure that she didnt have feelings for jay anymore before so its also a pride thing she has going on. subconsciously, she doesnt want to take things back because shes stubborn.

and its also one part nya feeling like shes doing jay a little bit dirty somehow (her brain making her overthink in a twisted way) and that she wouldve been toying with jays feelings if she returns them now. after all this time has passed.

is she that fickle? (its not her being fickle) and nya cant quite place why she has feelings for jay again. nya feels like jay probably deserves someone better than her, someone who hasnt hurt him so bad.

nya has trouble understanding herself so she thinks shes being flaky and worries her feelings are flaky also and she doesnt want to hurt jay again with such uncertain feelings. i am making nya feel so fucking complicated and conflicted. FEELINGS ARE OFTEN AS SUCH!!!

but despite nya's internal turmoil, her feelings for jay are very genuine. she might think they are arbitrary but thats not quite the case. well her love is arbitrary as any other love is. but anyways. she fell again because jay did win her over, not even when he was trying to.

his sincere love... his dedication. when nya saw it in a different light it was attractive to her. she appreciates that jay loves her the way he does now. also before (the breakup) her love for jay was a bit shallow. it was just that casual. but now what she feels for jay is more genuine. and more equal. eventually she sorts it out. there might be some of romantic drama to get her to get there though. a bit more accidental hurt.

i had the tangential thought that jay might tell nya that his hanahaki is getting better causing her to go "on no". jays finally letting go of his feelings over for her and nya doesnt want to mess that up. hes finally recovering when she catching feelings again?

of course this would happen to her. shes glad but shes wistful she missed her chance at having a boyfriend who truly cares about her like jay does.... serves her right. .... nya is an idiot lol... jays is getting better bc of her skdjhtrglksdj. anyways

eventually... they talk. and sort it all out. all the hurt and feelings and love. nya opens up and confesses and jay cries about it lol. because this is all he had ever wanted ever since he fell in love with nya. the elation he feels is unparalleled. and tightness in his chest finally vanishes all together and he feels better than he has in ages. of course he says yes. he tells nya things to erase her doubts. and it took a lot of trouble to get here but theyre here now. together again for reals. and neither of them can believe it.

they hold hands. and they finally kiss

I THINK. THATS THE END OF REQUITED END. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS END WERE INITIALLY MUCH SHORTER, SHORTER THAN, UNREQUITED/FRIENDSHIP END? ON GOD. WHAT HAPPENED. ITS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE REQUITED END REALLY NEEDED FULLY BEAT OUT DEVELOPMENT. OR ELSE I COULDNT BE SATISFIED WITH IT. IM A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY WHAT I CAME UP WITH FEELS KINDA SAPPY BUT I CANT TELL IF IT IS. IM ARO. THIS ISNT MY HOME TURF. BUT I WANTED REQUITED END TO BE ACTUALLY VIABLE WITHOUT FEELING FORCED.... I WANTED TO BE AS SATISFIED WITH THIS AS I AM FOR UNREQUITED END. AND ENDED UP NEEDING TO PUT IN 100 TIMES THE WORK SDJKTUFHIGTLSDKJ. I THINK I ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I WANTED THO...... I THINK ITS OKAY..........

okay. im finally picking flowers. ive been thinking about it a bit while i wrote this whole thing. it wasnt a priority. but i do wanna pick some flowers that fit this story....

had the thought that depending on the end of this au (... i have aus within my au huh....) jay actually has different flowers. different meanings and symbolism.

i want jays primary flower to be an anemone for the record. “forsaken love”. nods. thats pretty representative of jays love for like. 3 seasons. also.... shares a name with the ocean animal. water... small connection with nya... not directly representative of her but it does a little. anemone has a few other meanings as well and i think those can fit too depending on the end. but the primary meaning im using is forsaken love (apparently its specifically the red and pink ones that mean this. please do note all these flower language resources are pretty inconsistent from each other)

tragic death end- anemone (specifically red- also means death), red poppy (remembrance in death), red spider lily (am i going too ham with the death flowers? yes. would jay see this as an ill omen? definitely. however. symbolism. also this bouquet is just So red. with blood lol)

tragic lost love (surgery) end- anemone, yellow chrysanthemums (broken/slighted love), black dahlia (betrayal), narcissus (unrequited love, selfishness), rue (regret), i would add forget me nots if i didnt think it doesnt fit with the colors

friendship/unrequited end- anemone, yellow rose (bros the meaning of the yellow rose is so fucking loaded LMAO. friendship, infidelity (nya), undying love? the wiki sure lists a lot), dandelion (overcoming hardship, growth, hope, and healing, friendship)

requited end- anemone, sea lavender (remembrance/memory, sympathy, i love you), sea holly (independence (nya) and attraction (jay)). okay so i dunno if a bouquet of these would look good together per se but.... ocean theme.... and also i wanted the flowers to rep both jay and nya in meanings.... since this is the end in which theyre together after all....

flower language is fucking hard. but i cant NOT put sincere thought into it. its fucking hanahaki i feel like i Gotta. btw these arent 100% set in stone i might change my mind about them? but i do really like anemone tho.... and tangential thought hgtjbnfjkghl sea holly would be fucking AWFUL for jay to cough up. esp when he starts spitting full flowers. those look like they hurt. just like what its like to love nya (lol). flower that would definitely make him cough blood

anyways..... if you made it to the end of this..... thank you.... this post is literally over 7600 words. thats like a long one shot. this is more like a fic outline tho. anyways anyways.... madness legit descended upon me while i wrote this all. i hope you enjoyed. i did this for my self satisfaction but if other people enjoyed this also i kinda wanna know

holds up a glass. cheers to jays suffering and heartbreak

(og thread here)

#ninjago talk #oh also. if you read all this. tell me which ending you like....#jem.txt #..... feel like i need a tag for this kind of stuff but what....#my concepts #thatll do #jaya #ninjago #im holding back on character tags i cant do that im embarrassed as is

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pupyuj · 13 days

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i mean totally no pressure pero if u do end up writing for maloi... mygawd... bc shes my bini bias along with colet and aiah actually didhdhs like?! dasrub ang brainrot!!! and not to beag but i managed to get tickets for biniverse day 1 oummm 🥰 hopefully my 2 weeks break would be productive aka mabuhay sana yung writing blog ko din hNGHHSHHS

ALSO i've recently noticed my aiah foc getting likes... the blooms looking for nsfw stuff slowly migrating to tumblr wbkkk (bc it's cute but it's all fluff/angst aus on twt since the girls are there tew 😭) i think dasurb ma-welcome w ur writing 👀🥰 i'm so excited for ppop enjoyers to come to tumblr flssss 😭😭😭 anyway yeaaa hope you're doing good and ... feeling good... these days 🥰

also i've been listening to ive lately and this might be late but i love baddie saur much i feel like i had to tell u... wony in that studio choom performance 😣 i love a confident woman who knows shes prettyy 😣

OMGGG CONGRATS FOR SECURING TIX FOR BINIVERSE 😭😭💕 unfortunately i cannot be there bcs i am on the other side of the world but trust that i will be screaming and crying and shaking with you in spirit! 😍😍 and you’re so right having the ate line as your biases THEY’RE SO GORG AND TALENTED pero maloi… SI MALOIIII BHIE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 sobrang cute, sobrang ganda, sobrang talented, sobrang funny, sobrang bait—she’s perfect?:!(!:&,!:&

AND korek ka anon—lahat ng au sa twitter soft and innocent kasi super awkward naman pag nakita ng girls na may nsfw stuff na para sa kanila 😭 but this is why we have tumblr! 🫣🫣 after seeing the grand pantropiko day performance, i’ve been going insane KASE NAKITA MO BA YUNG OUTIFT NI MALOI??! LAWFDDD 😩😥💔 (jhoanna too actually FUCKKCKC THEY ALL LOOKED SO GOOD 🥰🥰)

and ahehe better late than never anon 😈 and you came across ive at the right time bcs they’re coming back so make sure to tune in on april 29th for ive switch—

#ena saying anything #i’m gonna call this anon my bloom bestie anon #bloom bestie anon #i love bini sm

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tvirus-arts · 1 year

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Comfort

I have this on going au(mainly posted a lot on my twitter in the vaguest of pieces) where wesker does survive the volcano, or well a vague idea of chris and jill feeling like they're becoming bad people for doing what he would do and also the trauma of getting rid of yet another stars member. So in his dying state kind of collect him back and throw him in whatever Lab Rebecca works for and she basically made a treatment or "cure" that helps him get rid of uroboros. And since I automatically make rebecca and claire bffs of course Claire would be there. But also out of the people Wesker would tolerate seeing as he becomes conscious and is being treated, it would be them. So I took inspiration from diabetic patches for his cure patch but also inspired by Jills p30 thingy so its connected to veins through those tubes. The treatment did help restore any physiological defects like obviously uroboros made him fucking insane lmfao. The thing I forgot to mention is he has temporary amnesia for a bit so hes almost child like- or like edward scissorhands-esque where hes explained his situation and hes just like okay ill listen. (Definitely inspired from Eric Northman from trueblood in hindsight hahahha) because once he is aware their affection and the way that they handled him while recovering still clicks with him. I didn't have the idea during this time, but ive decides in future posts in regards to this AU he would have bionic legs and his right arm, anywhere the Uroboros was pretty severe! I do have some sketches about this where Rebecca's just an op scientist by this point LMAO

Also to address the tattoos. Around this time he is coherent and its been some time. But does tattoo a big snake to represent rebirth and the oroboros snake , which should be obvious why!

Sorry for rambling! Twitter doesn't let me do that

#clesker #au #medical #wesker #claire x wesker #tattoos #uroboros #rebecca chambers #wesclaire #tvirus-arts

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insomnya777 · 16 days

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hi i just want to say i reallllyyy love your smalletho superhero au on ao3 it's amazing and aughhhh im so so insane about it and i cant sayy anyyythinggg to my friends cause ofc theyre twitter people and i have to be insane about your fic alone *sad face*

i love love love the amount of taylor swift titles btw

(also id go insane if you name a fic after false god or i can see you lyrics just a thought hehe)

awwww thank u so much omg! i lovelovelove naming things after songs i love (which is why there's so much taylor and olivia rodrigo LOL) and omg ive been thinking about lyrics from i can see you for a while now actually!!

#“and we kept everything professional” is the one i was thinking of #and i'm not going to say who it's about yet #but you could probably guess #actually maybe not. you'd have to really put your mind to it #it's not a pairing we've seen much of yet in the series #but i'm so excited for them to make an appearance!!!!!#and oh gosh i'm looking at the lyrics now #why does this fit the au so well?????#“they keep watchful eyes on us” desertduo anyone???#“you can see me as a secret mission” DESERTDUO. ANYONE.#it's not so related to the desertduo You Guys Have Seen yet but their backstory.... i'm sorry it's so them SOOO THEM #“what would you do if they never found us out” guys. oh guys come ON!#“then we kiss and you know i won't ever tell” SHUT UP OMG. SHUT UP SO BOAT BOYS SOOOO BOAT BOYS CODED #anon ihy for this bc now i have to add so many more lyrics to my “potential song titles” list #(slash j)#bfop au #my asks

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sydneyscarm · 5 months

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“about the blogger” meme

thank you to @bioloyg for tagging me :)

y’all don’t really know me so this’ll b fun

star signs: aquarius sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising,,, two air signs in my big three might scare u but trust my chart is earth dominant!!!! i promise!!!!

fav holiday: i love christmas! im not particularly religious, and i don’t consider myself christian or catholic like when i was a child, but i love the lights and the music and the gift-giving and general holiday cheer

last meal: lol i think i had a joint for dinner last night honestly. just forgot to eat and went straight to bed after smoking. i’m about to eat filipino spaghetti for breakfast though

current fav musician: faye webster (specifically jonny rn) and beyonce (all of renaissance has been on repeat since its release) and victoria monet (all of jaguar II is insane, grammy sweep i just know it)

last music listened to: probably ctrl (deluxe) by sza on my way home from work last night

last movie watched: taken, that action movie with liam neeson lmfao. but if we’re talkin movie theater viewing, it was the ballad of songbirds and snakes

last tv watched: i’ve been rewatching s2 of bridgerton. kate & anthony the couple that you are.

last book/fic finished: the last book was catching fire (i was rereading thg like the rest of the world) and the last fic i read was an unfinished sydcarmy fic i found literally an hour ago called all things go (all things go) everyone should read it, very good.

last book/fic abandoned: last book i abandoned was speak, okinawa. it’s a memoir about an asian girl’s struggling relationship with her mother and her culture. very good (and relatable) but extremely heavy so i took a pause on it.

currently reading: thg resurgence so i’m reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes, i didn’t get to finish it before watching the movie and i keep getting caught up so it’s taking forever to finish, but im almost done w it

last thing researched for art/writing: i haven’t full-fledged written for fandom in probably years. but i used to research a lot of fighting techniques cause i was deep in the my hero academia brain rot LMFAO

fav online fandom memory: i mostly inhabited twitter fandom spaces so in 2020 i was placed in a ship gc and i met one of my best friends on there <3 so i think that would be it

fav old fandom you wish would have a resurgence: the show is quite shit and not good at all but, for nostalgia reasons, i would love to see fairy tail (anime) have a resurgence. i bet the fics would be soooo top tier compared to when i was like 9 and reading fics on wattpad and ffnet

fav thing you enjoy that never had an active or big “fandom” but you wish it did: this is more to do w me being interested in things once hype dies down and less to do with a fandom actually being active or big, but i absolutely devoured s2 of bridgerton when i first saw it. and i read every single fic in that kathony tag.

tempting project you’re trying to reign in/don’t have time for: i don’t really write anymore and have stuck to silly posts and headcanon threads but i’ve had a pride and prejudice sydcarmy au stuck in my head for a couple days

this was fun now u know some of my life!!! im pretty sure @bioloyg tagged everyone that i come across in this fandom so ive got no one WHOMP but feel free to do this if u see it 😛

#no but srsly #that p&p sydcarmy au #fr

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skyburger · 25 days

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lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

#muffin mumbles #and in cass anyone wanted something to do. feel free to give me a date from any time after like christmas 2013 #and i will dig up an old search or video i watched or email or image from my history #its so entertaining to me. DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO THOUGH!!! the option is there if u want it but it is NOT mandatory #so again i say... goodnight new york city. (i take a bow and walk off stage)

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ap-sadistics · 1 year

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I posted 5,867 times in 2022

That's 1,694 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (1%)

5,781 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ rotten-dan

@ obstinaterixatrix

@ thetrashiestoftrash

@ ehnrat

@ modmad

I tagged 2,100 of my posts in 2022

#ninjago - 200 posts

#monkie kid - 170 posts

#jem's miscellany - 101 posts

#jay~ - 97 posts

#birds - 79 posts

#pokemon - 75 posts

#fav - 68 posts

#mk~ - 55 posts

#me - 40 posts

#kai~ - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#yes yesyesyeyseyseysyeyseysyeyesyseyyseyesyyseysey yeyse yessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

im so sick, evil, and twisted i think i got 9 people to watch monkie kid both directly and indirectly 9 victims im so fucked up and crazy im literally insane

11 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

skybound bad end au thoughts

this is more or less copy pasted from twitter. edited slightly

warning for mentions/thoughts of suicide

this is EXTREMELY depressing you have been warned

ive been thinking about it. as a fic, in written form, i think there really wouldnt be much of a story. it Is the "end" after all. it would be mostly a snapshot of jays life after the events. and it would also be the most miserable fic in the tag. like. it would be. pure misery. supremely depressing and without even an ounce of hope.

at that point everything thats done to him is just punishment or an act of senseless sadism. depends on the perspective. jay would see as punishment for the things hes done. just karma.

in this bad end au, i think jay would just be a toy. a little plaything for nadakhan and his crew. and delara. he doesnt have much purpose now but why not just keep him as entertainment. until the doll breaks. if he hasnt already. they can just throw him away then

i think it would be best if it has a open ending......... this bad end has the potential to go REALLY dark. but like too much doesnt taste that good you know? like... easily it could go the suicidal route. or jay being literally broken to the point hes killed. too dark you know?

but like..... i like there to be some hints of possible paths to jays ultimate fate.... its ambiguous but the setup is there.... the beginning signs... like...

jay becoming ill. sick from who knows what thing that has been done to him. an infection? exhaustion and overwork? its not much but its small things like that. a persistent cough or headache. the flush of a fever. his physical health is down the gutter

jay wishing things would end. entertaining a distant thought while he looks over a ledge miles above water. waving the idea away but the feeling of it doesnt truly leave.

maybe hes denying himself of that escape on purpose. that he doesnt deserve a reprieve. hes got a massive guilt complex that pins him there, on that ship, suffering because he knows he deserves it. a part of him is a coward still too. hes scared of taking the leap of the ledge.

the things jay feels are so complicated. he wants to die, hes scared of dying, he doesnt deserve to live but he doesnt deserve to die. he deserves to suffer. he trapped until someone else takes him out of his misery. but no one will.

its much more fun forcing him to dance till he falls apart. hes going to at this rate. a part of him wants to. but another part tells him that he shouldnt. hes the only one left of his friends whos still here. that part of him tells him that he has to live for them

complicated complicated feelings. maybe another part of him hangs on because nya is still here. sorta. a tiny part of jay thinks maybe he could save her at least. that part of him is crushed tho. because he really cant. he has no way. he has no wishes and no powers. utterly hopeless

he has to watch "nya" dance with nadakhan. like the two are on their honeymoon. he has to watch nadakhan take nya all for himself. like a precious prize. in his hand like a trophy. it hurts most when she decides to play with jay herself tho, when she toys with his heart. when she hurts him herself.

theres no good way this can end. theres so many ways that this can end. each and every one is as miserable and hopeless as the last. jay has no hope of happiness whatsoever.

jay may not necessarily die soon. but chances are he will die on that ship. eventually.... someone or something will kill him one way or another. but you dont get to know how or what. theres no good way to go though.

man this is the most depressing thing ive ever written lol. jay would be so depressed lmao.......... i did say this would be the most miserable fic. theres something fun about entertaining this bad end tho...... like everything sucks.... but vibes.... love misery.

21 notes - Posted December 22, 2022

WATCH LEGO MONKIE KID.

43 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

i had to make this gif. on the spur of the moment. at 4am. like i was possessed. artistically this is my favorite fucking part of this ep. THIS COLOR SHIFT............ MAKES ME FUCKING LOSE MY MIND........... ALSO IM THINKING ABOUT JACKET SYMBOLISM AGAIN....... I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT IT HERE SO IM JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW

BIG FUCKING SPOILERS HERE IF THIS GIF WASNT ALREADY SPOILERS ENOUGH. DONT READ IT YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW.

some time back i started thinking about the emotional significance/symbolism of mks fucking jacket. this jacket specifically.... was given to him by mei........................... it was her gift to him....... its his new look in s3... but it ended up burning the same way as mei did......... MEIS JACKET WAS LOST LIKE SHE WAS................ it burned as mk tried to save her..... she continues to burn in order to save him.... ough.......... fuck i might be reading into this too much BUT. THERES AN ATTACHMENT THERE........ its symbolic...... THIS JACKET REPRESENTS OF BOTH THIS SEASON AND MEI. AND HER FRIENDSHIP WITH MK....... IT HAS GREEN!!!!!!!! HER COLOR!!!!!!!!!! AND RIGHT HERE. IN THIS MOMENT. IN THIS GIF. IN THIS SCENE IN WHICH MEI HAS BEEN CONSUMED BY FLAMES, ENGULFED IN RED AND BLACK, LIKEWISE THE SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENS TO HIS JACKET..... THE GREEN IS GONE. SWALLOWED UP BY RED HEAT.. and by the end, its gone... and then so is mei..... this is such a gorgeous fucking transition of a scene and im absolutely obsessed with it............

ALSO THIS JACKET LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE THIS ATTIRE SO MUCH BUT ITS ALREADY GONE AND IM SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT THAT BUT FUCK THE IMPACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT LEAST IT WENT OUT IN BLAZE.... ICONIC JACKET TRULY.........

and also actually... i extended these jacket symbolism thoughts to the previous seasons also and... didnt mk stop wearing his monkey king jacket...? yall, you know, in the same season that he didnt have his powers? in my personal opinion i felt like monkey king is much less of a mentor figure in s3...... that he has ever been. s1-s2 is all about mk being sun wukongs successor.. which matches the jacket.... Hes The Monkie Kid. and thats his identity. but s3 absolutely had more mei focus..... and that jacket had green but no monkey.... hey.......... fucking i could be talking out of my own ass but if i think of this as a theory also...... mk is wearing pigsys jacket now...... what if they do some dad relationship focus next season also..... of course i could be entirely wrong but MAN. i would love to see some jacket symbolism like this again... would love to see consistency with my analysis and be freaking validated by that..... WHO KNOWS IF IT WILL HAPPEN CONSIDERING THE STATE OF THINGS S3 HAS LEFT OFF ON.... THERES A LOT OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.... but yooooooo. i want dadsy. gimme that parental relationship with mk specifically. i want it....

anyways JACKET. IT CARRIES SOMETHING. IT POSSESSES A CERTAIN LINK TO MKS IDENTITY..... its a essential part of mks look. its iconic and its noticeable when it fucking changes. they literally had a magical girl sequence when mk changed his jacket in s3. they drew attention to it, they made a big deal out of it. so i like to believe. that what ive said so far. has a measure of truth. weight. significance. and that im not freaking crazy. about this specific thing anyways. thanks for listening to my tedtalk

88 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

100 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i forgot to post this hfhsjhfjsk #jem's miscellany

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poltergeist-coffee · 4 months

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Oi, fantasminha:D

How are you?

I swear the last arcs are making me go insane

And then you get Mike being haunted by the naked slenderman

And apparently fit's lore includes a catboy God

Sounds like a completely normal week to the qsmp to me

There's this guy who makes videos about what happens every week on the qsmp, the poor guy seems to be struggling for the past 2/3 months, his videos started to have around 30 minutes or a hour of duration

Anyway, Forever posted a video on twitter

THAT'S MY PRESIDENT, HE'S ALIVE

Those sun analogy will be the death of me

Was watching a clip where bbh was with the eggs on the frozen ocean and there's this person on the comments who said "the sun went away before unfrosting the ocean"

One of these person will make me cry any day

Not much to say today, I just wanted to know how you were

As aways, if you have anything to say about your aus or just any thoughts on general I will be happy to hear:D

- 🍽

HELLO BELOVED PLATE ANON <33 HAPPY NEW YEAR :DD

i love mike being haunted by a naked slender man kkkk it’s the funny filler episode we deserve after all this angst <33 especially with fit’s lore soon and him confessing/rejecting/talking to pac…

bbh is giving so much angst with forever he has to be stopped….. i miss my president when will he come home :((

IVE BEEN GOOD!! I HOPE YOUVE BEEN WELL TOO :DD

#✉️ asks or whatever #🍽️ anon

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daedalusdavinci · 2 years

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eridave in the guardians au

so as previously mentioned, the central focus of the guardians au is eridan and daves relationship. its largely based off of a series of headcanons and aus that @roomfulloferidans and i have been cultivating for literally like. how long has it been now. a long time. im gonna be elaborating on stuff ive already talked about, so if you havent seen it already, you should go read the au summary and then come back

before they meet in person, eridan is just an online troll who hates daves shitty indie movies, and dave only really knows who eridan is by his online name and thinks hes kind of funny. when they do meet, its because dave happens to meet karkat and hire him as an actor, and when karkat complains to eridan about it, eridan almost immediately dominates the jam session by losing his shit about his moirail working for dave fucking strider and makes karkat introduce him so he can bully dave in person too

the beginning of their relationship is a lot of eridan pitchflirting and harassing dave, and dave not understanding and just being an asshole right back, because its kind of funny. its actually pretty bad, and they have a nasty habit of letting things escalate way too far. its also kind of public, because anyone whos familiar with daves work is now obviously fascinated by this fucking rando beefing with the unshakeable dave strider on twitter, especially when they find out that they actually know each other irl, because its fucking hilarious. the whole thing is so funny. its made worse by sollux, who doesnt particularly like eridan and does really like dave, and thinks its funny to stoke the fires. it gets to a point where karkat has to step in and he doesnt threaten to auspice so much as he actively auspices and then denies hes doing it at all because he is not auspicing for his moirail and definitely not for his moirail and this guy hes not even fucking dating (yet)

but after that very rough beginning, eridan does, eventually, ask dave out. and everything chills out. the establishment of a relationship clears up a lot of confusion and frustration and makes it easier for them to establish boundaries and read where the other is at, like, immediately. instead of constantly harassing each other, its mostly light bullying and specified dates for competitive nonsense. unfortunately for karkat the dates they seem to like the best (or the ones dave finds funniest and eridan likes the best) are fancy ones wherein eridan splashes champagne on dave and a dozen camera flashes go off as he storms out of the room. they drive karkat insane, but really theyre just having fun at this point. thats just how they are. eridan is insanely dramatic and dave fuels it because its funny as fuck and its doing wonders for his career which it turn makes eridan throw more fits which gets him more attention and its awesome

the problem is that, despite both of them being pretty happy in an actually very healthy pitch relationship, dave is still.... not exactly great with quadrants. hes only human. everything gets fucked up when, inevitably, dave crosses a line in one of their fights and eridan actually gets upset, and dave, like the fucking bleeding heart he is, immediately tries to make it better, and eridan is like. haha. fuck. and now weve reached the messy and hilarious land of quadsmearing because dave cant keep his quads straight and eridan is. kind of into it actually. very into it.

endgame is that they end up in the most obnoxiously pda filled relationship because dave and eridan are both dramatic and annoying enough to flip in and out of pitch easily and theyre also needy and affectionate enough that theyre so clingy and it all just works. they pretend to break up at fancy events at least once a month for fun only for sollux to post something the next day like god help me if eridan doesnt stop fucking chittering at dave like that im gonna kill someone. daves instagram is full of fucking stunning pictures of eridan captioned with shit like “im about to push him into this fountain lol” and eridan shows up on daves set just to distract him with affection so he doesnt realize until two hours in that theyre not getting anything done anymore. and its all fucking hilarious.

#guardians au #eridave #ive only written one fic for them but idk writing another one would be kind of funny #this is still like. the funniest au.#roomfulloferidans #i have so many fucking hilarious logs of me and eri talking abotu them #theyre so. stupid. i cant possibly summarize it in one post

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mavspeed · 3 years

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First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Hey @applesfallingfromblondehair, thanks for the tag love!! likewise i dont usually do this but this feels interesting so lets see if my ass has improved over the last few stories lmfkjgjk

also this will prob be a mix of xmcu fic + kingsman fic bc i think i have a more or less equal number of fics written for both

The first time Charles meets Lucifer Morningstar, actual devil from hell, ruler of the underworld, fallen son of the lord above and god knows what else, it had been after Erik had been sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security cell in the Pentagon.

- this is from a professor and a devil walk into a bar, which is kinda a crossover rarepair fic that rose out of me and mutuals on twitter discussing tom ellis and james mcavoy being roommates and kinda... devolved from there. i am proud of this one lmfnjgkj

“Are you okay, Professor?” Hank asks quietly.

Charles blinks. He supposes it’s a valid question. He’s been in a bit of a funk the past few days- scratch that actually, the past few years. He’s just lost so much- his father, and then his mother’s love, and then Raven and Erik and Sean and countless others. Building a school, gaining students he loved to teach and nurture hadn’t helped him in the slightest, and he’s as lost as he ever was, wandering the halls of a drafty mansion alone, feeling like he’s been stranded at sea even whilst surrounded by people.

- from in the belly of the beast, which again came out of me wondering what would have happened if fox had gone w their original plan and charles had been that last horseman instead of erik. this story will prob gain a sequel... sometime in the near future when im not too bogged down by current wips

The Xavier family hall of the deceased- because of course they’re weird enough to have a cemetery- is full of rows upon rows of holograms. Charles is four and gets bored of his father crying over his mother’s hologram, so he toddles over to the other rows. Unfamiliar names, all of them- Charles is young, and he doesn’t understand death. He doesn’t even know who his mother is, who’d died at childbirth and left him with a father still at a loss when it came to bringing up a kid.

- from tequila on a spaceship, the sequel to a fic that still has some people angry at me i think. this fic never did gain as much traction as the first one but im still proud of it esp since it discusses certain themes of reincarnation that ive always wanted to see explored for myself in reincarnation aus (and i only ever saw it in danveresque’s reincarnation au)

There are cork boards covering every inch of the wall. Red strings, photographs, conspiracy threads, everything. Raven takes it in, swallowing, noticing the picture in the middle.

It’s one of Charles, when he’d been in university. His final year- he'd just been done presenting his year- end project, his fringe a tumbled mess and a bright smile on his lips. Erik had taken the picture, Charles scurrying to his side once he’d been done and demanding to look at the image, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He looks like how Raven had always imagined him to be.

“He wouldn’t want this,” she finally says, turning to look at Erik.

- from tequila on a beach, the first fic to the fic above. this fic is v special to me because i actually wrote this on a spiral after having a very tough visit with one of my parents in the hospital after a surgery for organ removal to prevent the onset of cancer. its simpler than my other fics yet i think more powerful because of what happens. also i think the first time i killed charles off lol (spoiler alert). also idk if ppl were aware of this but this is called tequila on a beach precisely bc charles and erik were tipsy from tequila at a frat party and then went to a beach. its the way they first met (and will continue to meet for all their next lives)

Erik doesn’t know how it all started. Maybe it was when his insane sergeant had started rambling about imaginary cities, treasures of gold and cursed incantations. Maybe it was when trickles of rumours had started pouring down about the higher ups wanting to investigate unfound territory, disregard the Egyptian government’s feelings on the matter, and put a previously unfound myth on the map for all the world to see. Or maybe, Erik thinks, it was when archaeologist Klaus Schmidt put a bullet through his mother’s head and he ended up going to America armed with dual citizenship and the sole intent of wanting to drive a coin directly between Schmidt’s eyes, joining a division of the American military focused solely on guarding archaeological digs- more importantly, in Egypt, where Schmidt’s interest had shifted.

- from courting the end of the world, another one i’m just insanely proud of! this is the first time i’ve ever attempted a multichapter movie au and it actually managed to work pretty well, i at least haven’t run out of inspiration for it yet lmfjgjg. also erik as himbo rick connell... very rent free in my head

The day after they murder Shaw and leave his house of horrors, Erik crosses the Canadian border with Charles across his back. Charles had started getting tired while they’d been walking, stumbling and nearly tripping until Erik had forced him to get on his back, ignoring Charles’ protests.

The blood’s seeping out steadily from Charles’ nose, staining his shirt and soaking it through. It’s been leaking on and off, and the effects are already obvious in the dark circles beneath Charles’ eyes. Any more, and Erik knows they’ll have to find him a doctor. He hopes the nearest town in Canada has one that would be willing to treat them.

- from a world built for two. i actually dk where the inspiration for this came from, i think i was once again on a depressive spiral and wanted to break my comfort characters into pieces and put them together again. this also deals with codependency and unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result of trauma which i showed as sweet in the fic but i would def not recommend in real life. pls if u relate to either charles or erik in this go see a therapist

The call comes in the afternoon, an hour before Charles is supposed to teach his Intro to Genetics class. Frowning, Charles abandons the game of Candy Crush he’d admittedly been playing rather badly and picks it up. “Charles sp-”

“We need you, Prof,” Kitty says desperately into the phone. “He’s been in a temper all morning, and then Alex’s reports missed out a whole subsection, so he’s fired the entire marketing team! Please, Professor, you have to come immediately!”

- from and we can be pirates. i wrote this in like 4 seconds for my friend who wanted professor charles and ceo erik and actually did not expect this to gain the attention it did... its always the fics u write in like 4 seconds lmfjggj. a sequel for this Is coming too probably at some point in the very far future

Charles Xavier can admit as he sits across from Essex, hands cuffed to the desk, that in hindsight, this had perhaps not been one of his better ideas.

He refuses to admit it as he controls Erik’s mind, preventing him from lashing out and making him close his eyes to the nightmare unfolding in front of him. He refuses to admit it as he gets shoved into the back of a black pickup truck, and the butt of a gun is smashed across his forehead hard enough to knock him out cold for a few hours. He refuses to admit it when he wakes up what appears to be hours later in a cold interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table in front of him, with a suppression collar rendering his mind dark and almost achingly silent.

- from from the land of gods (bring me home). i’ve been struggling w this fic a lot (it didnt come as easily to me as the first one did) but its getting there. also i put charles through hell in this rip sorry mister xavier

In the aftermath, both of them stand at the border of the mansion. The air feels frigid, slicing into Raven’s lungs like a thousand paper cuts. “Charles, please,” she begs, heart in her throat and voice hoarse. “He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He wouldn’t want you to do this. It’s not too late, you can come back.”

Charles gazes back, a brick wall. He hasn’t even cleaned up, still in that damnable yellow and blue suit with blood drying in the corners of his mouth, the bridge of his nose. There’s nothing in his eyes- blank, almost see through. He looks as if he’s a mere shade, a ghost lounging about where he once was. Raven knows better.

“I will raze the world to the ground,” he finally says, his voice free of any inflection, “and when I’m done, no one will be left standing. Not you, and certainly not me.”

- from where all the poets went to die, a dark fic based on what would have happened if moira had killed erik with the bullets. its the first time ive written dark charles and it was v fun if im being honest

10.

Charles is a light sleeper. It’s a trait that stays with him- all the way from his father and the tests to taking care of his mother to Cain Marko and his fists to Cuba and then now, the dust of Washington settling over him and making the waking world lie an inch beyond his eyelids. It therefore stands to reason that the second the windowsill creaks he’s up in a shot, hoisting himself up and lashing out with his telepathy instantly.

That’s not a trait that had stayed with him. That’s a newly formed trait, bitter and bold, carved into existence by Cuba by his students disappearing one by one in Vietnam by the letters that announce Sean’s death in black unfriendly print by-

The tendrils of his telepathy forged cold and distant meet a barrier and recoil, stunned. He focuses his eyes and then widens them, staring at Erik who stares back, hidden beneath that infernal muddied magenta helmet of his. They stare at each other for a moment before Erik clears his throat.

- from in the valley of kings (you will come home). my first ever cherik fic! im actually also proud of this one even if i ended it horribly and half my mutuals refuse to read it bc of how it ended LMFJGJGJ. i cant believe this was supposed to be a funny and cute kid fic and then i turned it into an angst ridden mess. also leo is actually an oc whose adult version is fancasted as charlie rowe by me and another mutual on twitter and im v proud that readers are willing to die for the baby

11.

Mike has to google it, finding a crafts shop nestled into the corner of the street right smack in the middle of Louisiana, past a long and winding dirt road and the crumbling farmhouses relics of a time long past. The air is hot, humid, sticking to the back of his neck like an unwieldy parasite as he pushes the door of the shop open to the sound of the bell tinkling above.

He finds the origami paper quickly enough and has a momentary breakdown about what Bill’s favourite colour even is- he had never thought to ask him. Twenty seven years of following every single footstep of his like a dedicated, most definitely creepy stalker, three months of more than a few states traversed with Bill’s laughter now echoing in his ears like a shadow that trails after him, and this is what stumps him. It takes ten minutes, but he finally settles on light green.

- my first and last entry into the IT fandom bc i love these two but to be very fair there isn’t much content out there for him (and twitter content actually intimidates me lmfjgjjg) a thousand paper cranes never got much traction either but i suspect its bc i was horrible at promoting it. also i very much love this fic even if it never did that well bc ive always wanted to write a fic like this after watching the movie in cinemas in 2019

12.

ok nsfw i guess

Mornings start like this- Eggsy snuffling into David’s neck, attempting to work his way back up to wakefulness as David sleeps the sleep of the dead, the streams of morning sunlight gradually lightening up the room. It’s a while before he gets the energy to sit up, pushing an eager V off the bed- V for Vendetta, a kitten named after one of David’s favourite movies that they’d adopted about a month after moving in together- before stumbling to the loo. He’s already in the shower when David comes in, naked as the day he’s born with his arms entwining themselves around Eggsy’s waist as he murmurs a sleep-soft, “Good morning, love,” as he presses a kiss into the two-days-old hickey on Eggsy’s shoulder. His breath smells of toothpaste, the minty fresh kind he insists on buying from Target no matter how much Eggsy insists that the other brand is much better. Without fail, Eggsy always has a split second thought of thinking that he must truly be in heaven because no way can this be his reality, every single day, before sinking to his knees and allowing David’s cock to hit the back of his throat.

- from that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. i genuinely wish i had an opinion for this but i don’t remember writing this its been way too long

13.

The first time Eggsy sees her is in Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square is uncomfortably packed on any normal day, but on New Year’s it is quite the hothouse. Sweating armpits and hot bodies plastered against each other, the twinkling lights overhead providing a flash of blue and green and yellow and red, screaming children and giggling teenagers shoving their way through- it’s a recipe for disaster. Eggsy doesn’t know how he ends up there. It happens sometimes- one second he blinks, sequestered in the comfort of his living room, and the next he’s somewhere else, as if he’s been teleported. “Life goes past you,” Tilde had said once, “and you don’t even notice.” Tilde would be right.

- this is a roxy and eggsy friendship centric fic that i abandoned bc i lost my ardor for this world about the same time i got into xmen lmfjgjg. all the king’s horses also had some great fancasts in it with dev patel fancasted too... rip ig

14.

once again, nsfw

Eggsy, truth be told, doesn’t actually like having sex in bathrooms. First of all, bathrooms generally have an unsanitary air about them. Besides that, the granite of the sinks always feel cold against his hips, there is the ever present fear of being walked in on and unlike what people might say, he actually really isn’t that much of an exhibitionist- and truth be told, he’s never liked the look of himself in the mirror mid coitus.

For David Budd, however, he suspects he might be up for anything.

- from do you ever dream of me. im actually proud of this fic and this series, i never usually write straight up porn or friends w benefits and i think it worked well in here. once again didnt get much traction but that was very of the norm for my kingsman fics lmfjgj

15.

It is on his fifth meeting with the therapist on site that she brings the issue up. The elephant in the room- or the bomb , David thinks morbidly. If asked, he can’t remember specifics about that day now. All he remembers is this- the burn of Julia’s picture in his wallet against his thigh, the Botticelli painting on the far wall and Miss Paulson’s face, severe and unsmiling.

“When you couldn’t reach Julia,” she says, after he finishes describing the feeling of running to Julia, the panic searing his chest as he’d prayed for his legs to work faster so he could do something, anything to reach her hand. “How did that make you feel?”

- from your haunted social scene. i genuinely... do not remember anything about this either helpfkjgjg,,, this has 55 comments tho which. Nice

16.

David brings her home on- in a move far too cliche for it to be reality- a stormy night. It’s in fact storming so hard the windowpanes shudder like leaves in the wind, droplets crashing against the glass in a cacophony so loud Eggsy more than once considers turning the radio all the way up to drown it out. He’d gone scrounging for David’s sweatshirts instead of his own halfway through, wincing intermittently at the flashes of thunder. At a particularly loud one JB had jumped up, squeaked in a very undoglike manner and skidded across the floor to cower beneath the sofa, only coming out when coaxed by Eggsy to do so. Officer Oatmeal had watched the proceedings from her regal place by the armchair, dozy eyed and blinking heavily.

- from a cat named lavender. from what i remember this was also my first try at bringing up trans eggsy

17.

He first appears at the black prince on a cold Monday evening, eyes like Frank Sinatra and lips arresting anyone’s gaze if they weren’t careful enough. He stood out too, clad in a respectable bomber jacket and boots that clicked against the tile rhythmically and loudly, a sort of organised, measured cacophony.

“Go and serve him,” Andrew said, fat and disinterested, seated behind the counter and idly flicking through bills, less than ten percent of which he pays Eggsy. “I’m busy.”

- from trust is left in lovers after all. i never continued this which is sad bc this did get a lot of attention... it was just v hard to keep the story going

18.

It usually rains cats and dogs in London but for some reason, the rain is heavier than usual today. The droplets splatter against the windows in a constant buzzing rhythm, the sound meshing together in a melody not altogether pleasant to the ears. It’s half past five and yet the light has to be kept on because that’s how dark the sky has gotten- thunder rolls like a loud crack, abrupt and deafening, causing Daisy to jump in her seat.

“Just a thunderstorm, flower,” Eggsy says. They’re seated at the dinner table, Eggsy going over her homework while David sits opposite them, hunched over his laptop as he attempts to finish a post mission report. Eggsy is half convinced he gave up ten minutes ago- he’s got his earbuds in and he hasn’t really typed anything in a while, eyes focused on the screen. His eyebrows are scrunched up in a glare that’s too adorable for his own good- and for Eggsy’s.

- from could feel like kryptonite. a lot of my kingsman fics are actually so much happier than my cherik ones... i should prob look into that rip

19.

“When you’re done lazing around you can come in, you dozy dog,” he tells Officer Oatmeal, who butts her nose into his knee. She’s the only one not on a diet in the house, Eggsy deeming her far too healthy and skinny to need one anyway. In fact, she’s under strict instructions by Eggsy to fatten up instead.

Once the animals are done feeding- Eggsy sporting a suspicious scratch on his left forearm- they settle down to eat their scrambled eggs and toast. David’s taken a large gulp of his scalding coffee when Eggsy says, all of a sudden, “So, I have a school reunion.”

- from gonna set this dance alight. don’t remember much about this either tbh

20. (the last one FINALLY)

It isn’t a big event or explosion that makes David realise he wants to see his father’s ring sitting pretty on Eggsy’s index finger. No teary confessions in the rain like in the rom coms Eggsy loves to rent out and sniffle his way through, or a fight that makes David see sense. In the end, it’s breakfast that cinches the deal for him.

The day had started out normally enough. David wakes up at eight like clockwork, the soft downy hair at the base of Eggsy’s neck tickling his nose with his arm locked tight around his waist. He’d yawned, exhausted- mostly because they’d stayed up very late into the night making good use of the bed- before standing up and shucking his shirt off to head for the shower. Eggsy had shifted in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and the sight had been too endearing to resist so he’d bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead and smiling when Eggsy groaned out loud.

- from lover boy rules. i actually started a lot of my kingsman fics in the same way which is rather awful of me. im glad thats changed with my xmen fics lmfjgjk. also this has 15 comments???? i dont even get that much attention with my xmcu fics these days... which is arguably a more active fandom... Hello

anyway that’s the end of it needless to say i do not know 10 other authors so im just gonna tag whoever i know rn: @hellfre , @queerneto, @ikeracity, @drinkingstars, @zebraljb

#whew this is super long i apologise #u can pinpoint the exact time i replaced taron with james as my number one boy #fic tag #fic meme

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