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shugar0cone · 29 days

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Shooting for the stars

Pt 1

“All the people knew the story of the ancient evil of Zhan Tiri and the inventions of demanitus but lost in tracks of time there was a 3rd, she was known as the goddess of the stars, she helped travelers cross the seas, made constellations into stories, and most importantly made the sun drop and the moon opel. She lived with humanity and thrived with them, she helped all for she was the gift. She loved humanity and believed in their wellness, so she gave us the sun and moon to share her power, but in typical human fashion they were greedy for the power wars broke out and this angered the goddess. When she asked for her gifts back they refused and turned on her, she had not choice but to fight. her battle armor was made of the stardust her weapon only she could hold. she fought the humans until she got the sun in moon back. She realized the power and dangers of having them together so she entrusted two of her most loyal followers, deminucus and Zhan Tiri. And you know how the story goes.”

I say to my sister as she brushed my hair. It was nice to have repunzel back even though we are only adopted sister it sure felt like we where blood. I can tell she was lost in thought i knew alot has came up, heck she got back and now she was pretty much thrown into royal duties.

“You ok raps?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at me. Her sunshine mood was darkened maybe it was stress or maybe sshe was processing things.

“Peachy, just ya know feeling pressure, but it aint nothing i can handle.”

I got up from my spot to hug her.

“I’ll be here for you.”

I gave her a warm smile then an idea popped in my head.

“If max is free wanna race to the wall?”

I asked giving a playfull grin.

“Sure if nebs is up to it.”

Nebula or nebs is my horse smaller then both max and casses horse but definitely smother and alot more agile then them. He was a gypsy and apalosian cross, he was alot to take care of grooming wise, But he was my partner in crime.

“How old are you again?”

Repunzel asked me this, maybe she just forgets or that we have a 3 year age different.

“Im 15 rember.”

She laughed.

“Yeah im only playing i know. Your 15.”

She bear hugged me and squashed me half to death, this woman beats corsets when takeing breath out of your lungs.

We walked out to the stables to see nebula trying to reach one of maxes candy apples he got from montys. While repunzel wasnt looking i got up on nebs and crewled onto his neck to grab it.

“Ill get max another later, speaking of the crazy where is he.”

Nebula chewed his or maxes sugar coated apple and did a horse like shrug.

“Do you always have to be like this.”

I rolled my eyes as he snorted at me.

“Ok where is max i have fidella.”

The doors slammed open and low and behold we see max and eugene.

“Race ya ladies oh and we are wanted by the guards.”

“Huh?’

Before i can say anything eugene left quickly with a fleat of guards fallowing him, i looked at repunzel all confused.

“It’s just a game, n/n.”

JUst then cassandras father the leader of the guards was in the stalls on his horse.

“Ladies better run.”

I pretty much left a silhouette of me next to repunzel thats how quickly i left on nebula.

I was having fun some guards where chasing me but luckly for me they where newbies so they did not know my cards i played.

“Lets show them how its done nebs.”

I pat his neck we enter a deep wooded area. I slowed down so one guard could catch up with me. I looked back and pulled a brach so it could smack him. The next guard i had a pan of to swerve him and pretty much get him dizzy or turned around. I faced back twords the guards running at him full force, at this point it was a game of chicken and luckly he lost. I detached his halter from his horse and now there was no control over the horse. I ran for a couple of minutes and ended up at the wall but not the one where repunzel and eugene where.

“Damn it!”

I yelled and slapped myself in the head.

“This is like the 5th time ive ended up in old corona. Sware to the king one more time and ill just move here.”

I sighed to myself and got off of nebula and walked to a stream so he can get some water. When i walked up i looked at my face, it was dirty and sticky with sweat. I grabbed some water and splashed it on my face. I looked at the water again to see a second figure a cloaked boy with googles. I turned around to see yeah it was a real person.

“AH!”

I gave him a left hook out of fear, that he looked creepy, and weird. He groaned holding his face.

HE looked up his googles where on the floor his hood was down i noticed I busted his lip.

“What was that for?”

He yelled at me, man he must be my age or younger. I mentally giggled at him because his voice cracked at the word for.

“You cant just sneek up on people like that.”

I yell back.

“Well you cant-’

He pointed his bloody finger at me and fainted.

“OH MY GOD! I THINK I KILLED HIM!”

I grabbed my hair and panicked. Nebula took some water and spat it out on his face. He woke up gasping for air from the shock.

“You dropped these uhh.”

I grabbed his googles and he snatched them from me.

“Im varian the mighty alchemist, and you are?”

“I’m y/n, the girl who knocked your socks off.”

#varian x reader #tangled #x reader #tangled the series

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chans5oive · 1 year

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Once more.

chan x gn reader

Genre: childhood friends to lovers au x idol au

warning: slight angst towards the end but ends with fluff!

Word count: 971

a/n: Hey!! This is my first ever fic please be nice and let me know if i made any mistakes and likes and re-blogs are appreciated but please give credit!!

You and chan have known each other since you were born your mothers were in a pre-natal group together and really hit it off and became best-friends. You knew Chan all through primary school in Seoul. Later when it was time to move to high-school you found out chan was moving to Australia and you were moving to (insert country.) After saying you hurtful goodbyes you guys promised to stay in touch.

Occasionally you would visiting each other and act like you have never left each other. However, the mutual friend feeling suddenly changed for Chan. It was summer in Australia you were 15 and Chan was the same, you went visit - not seeing Chan in a while so neither of you really had a recent image of one another- you wore short clothing from the obvious heat and when you saw Chan for the first time in what felt like ages he was blown away.

“were they always this cute” he thought.

“Wow Ive never never noticed the dimples when they smile before” he thought as you smiled at his sister.

You and Chan headed up to his room to do some mindless catching up when Chan could feel his heart racing and his palms getting sweaty. Yes, it could be from the sweltering heat…but what if it wasn’t? You dived onto Chans bed already making yourself comfortable as he put on a movie. You were engulfed in the movie but Chan couldn’t take his eyes of you. The movie ended and you turned to Chan. “hey i need to tell you something” you sputtered.

Recently, you decided to audition for JYP just for fun to see if you would get in and as it turns out you did.

“i auditioned for JYP and i got in so im moving back to Korea i guess” you spat.

“oh my god y/n that is probably the best thing i have ever heard” he spoken in an eger tone.

“i did too!! And im moving there in spring!” He jumped

so it was settled you and Chan would move together and train side by side. Which of course you did but not without making a few friends on the way.

-10 years later-

“Y/n!” A girl with long black hair called out to you.

“Yeji!” You cried

You and Yeji have been friends right from the start of your training process. She joined around the same time as you and since then you two became inseparable. “i thought you didn’t need to come in today?” She quizzed

“yeah but my comeback is soon and i wanted to see Chan in the studio!” You explained

“oh ok!” You hugged and make your way over to Chans studio.

You knock on the door and hear a familiar aussie voice coming from inside

“come in!!” He yelled.

You walk in and smell the familiar smell (you would often visit) of coffee and the old wood smell from the walls. Your wrap your arms around him and hug him tight. Chans heart raced once again and his palms once again becoming sweaty just like he did when he was 15. You sat on the couch and asked if he needed any help as you were an idol and a music producer too.

Finally, Chan had finished his work and found you asleep on his studio couch. He smiled and draped his jacket over your body.

ok hes in love

Chan with this new realisation he would distance himself. Your his best-friend and has been since your guys were born! He can’t confess can he? What if you break up? How could he live without you? He decided to consult in his closest friends. “just date her idk why your so stressed” a muffled reply came from Minho snacking on a bun.

“Yeah date her” came from 6 other boys in an overly loud manner.

With all this too think about Chan does the one thing he does when he needs to disassociate from reality. Make music.

You were worried. Chan hadn’t been answering you messages or calls. He always said he was too busy or when he saw your walking he would run the other way. You were getting sick of it because you couldn’t think of anything that you did wrong!

You came up with a plan. To trap chan and get him to say what is wrong.

You had the perfect plan, you would show up to his dorm unannounced and the boys would make sure he was home. You show up just as you planned there he was sitting on the couch.

“God hes gorgeous- wait did you just call chan gorgeous” you thought.

Putting that thought aside. You called out to Chan and made sure he couldn’t run.

“YA!! Why are you ignoring me!!!” You splutter already feeling a lump in you throat.

“Y/n-“

“No NO i did nothing why are you ignoring me i don’t understand!!” Oh great! Your crying. Perfect.

“I LIKE YOU OK..i like you” he spits out slightly crying too.

“what-“ you were shocked. In fairness you were actually quite happy you had always had a slight crush on Chan but i guess you never really noticed it apart from when you saw him on the couch mere moments ago.

“listen y/n i’ve liked no no loved you since we were 15 and when you visited me in Australia and you were just so..cute! And funny and sweet! Your just so perfect and-“

before he could say another word you pressed your lips against his. Slowly but tenderly kissing. Passionate like you were both waiting for this for 10 years you both have .

You pull away “in case you couldn’t tell Christopher chan i like you too” and pressed you lips together once more.

Tag list: @mazeinthemiroh @jisungsdaydreamer @fantasy2wonderland @anyamaris @chocotonez

if you want to be un/added to the list let me know and lemme know if i missed anything or didnt tag anyone :)

#bang chan fluff #stray kids fluff #chan x you #christopher bang #bang chan #bangchan fluff #chan fic #bangchan x reader

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unofficialadamtaurus · 11 months

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What entertains me so much is that the way Adam was written, they try to make it seem like he’s some manipulative mastermind who does everything bad on purpose, where the fact is he’s probably not even that old enough or smart enough to even be THAT conniving.

Yes he’s a smart dude, but it’s just hilarious where they act as if his behavior would be something you could never see coming, especially for characters who— oh I don’t know— HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR YEARS. I mean there is times where they see some parts of him.

Yet. Let’s frame this guy to be some kind of evil genius up until he somehow loses every ounce of respect people have of him (why? people shouldve known what they were getting into, he’s not that fucking secretive good god they would’ve known) and make him look like a loser who also loses every ounce of thought process he ever had.

Have him bee-line to death even though when the Hell has he been shown to bee-line for that type of thing. Like for example.. IMO him finding Blake at beacon was coincidental (prove me if im wrong tho, but also dont blame because its been 15 million years since ive watched v3)

How would his ass even know that Blake was there? Anyway that’s not my point. I’m not saying he’s stupid, he’s really not. I’m simply pointing out that the writers just loved to make it seem as if everything he did was some big well thought out put-on-a-list plan to have power.

Even though before he looked completely fine to be in the rank he had before.

You seriously had to make a whole fucking character short just to implement one itty bitty scene where it seems like he wants more than the rank Sienna gave him.

You had to make a comic to show how deep he lies to people, Like ok maybe that one is a little more solid than the character short but why not show that behaviour more? If he’s so important?

He’s so sadly one dimensional, not a character handled with care at all. Being a hatesink fucking blows.

Why create an empty villain with shitloads of meaning and character just to throw him away? AND HIS ARC AWAY? Could’ve made him with love. Most cheap moment of “anyway!” anyone could ever have.

Racism and incompetence are a killer combo, lemme tell ya.

"Haha Adam is such an incompetent angry and petty loser" and "Adam is a cunning charismatic mastermind who has spent years building up power and influence in the WF in order to launch a (nearly) bloodless coup against a leader who was also framed in the narrative as charismatic enough to overthrow the leader before her" could theoretically coexist in a better written story as a villain spirals, but this show is not that. Adam's "spiral" is more of a sudden nosedive. Hiding any justifications for that nosedive in supplementary material is like trying to put rebar in concrete after the fact. You just can't do it because those afterthoughts actively contradict what we were already shown.

It doesn't help the idea that Adam's supposed to be charismatic that his voice acting is so on-the-nose Bad Guy that you're staring at everyone else in any scene like, "Yo! Do something! He's clearly evil!"

He didn't even find Blake at Beacon, Blake found him. Maybe he was looking for her, maybe he was interrogating-to-death any students he found trying to find one that could point him to her, but she was the one that found him. He just noticed her before she could retreat.

#nolanporfirio #unofficial adam answers #long post #adam taurus #rwde

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stemmmm · 8 months

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i got back from a week long trip so now i've had plenty of time to ruminate on things and im finally ready to see what the fuck this guy has been trying to cook

episode 7 post

ep1 ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5+6

i think i saw a drawing of this guy earlier today except he had boobs

so lion's pretty obviously supposed to be the baby from 19 years ago, right.

ay ay aY AY AY

oh bah, the way it started out as just the last word in caps for a couple lines made me think dlanor was disguised as shannon or something but nah shes just like a robot or possessed for something.

i feel like ive been told explicitly 15 times that beato was the original beatrice's daughter who kinzo believed was her reincarnated, as if this is the first time im being given this information

damn bro you look hideous

alright so we're positing that original beatrice was enough of a fascist that she stuck to mussolini even after the rest of the country gave up? ok.

alright alright alright we're talking about whether the axis were cowards based on whether or not they surrendered and how alright.

REALLY FUNNY FOR THE V/O TO STILL BE FULLY JAPANESE WHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING ENGLISH. OH BUT "I CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH" IS?

interesting that this beatrice is using the baby beato voice. I've been trying to get the logic of it, and the best I can figure is that its just... to differentiate? differentiate WHAT exactly, whether its between human beatrices or just the humans and the witch im not sure yet. but I miss her other voice :( the flashback we got of her earlier that I didn't mention also used this voice even though im fairly certain the original version didn't.

i get that its for plot contrivances because beatrice had to get here somehow but WHY on EARTH would someone bring their daughter on an armed military vessel in the middle of a massive war. also because i touched on it earlier i'd like to clarify, i get that the participants in war are not necessarily people who agree with any of it. and even then, your circumstances of birth and pressure from your family will put you in situations out of your control (given, thats what this whole thing has Been About). idk i dont want it to come across as i don't get what's going on or like im an idiot or something. i may also be a bit defensive because i haven't really enjoyed the reading process terribly much in a while and didn't appreciate some of the feedback i've gotten in regards to "just keep reading, you'll like it, youll understand" because i dont think its properly come across that i think i Do understand, im just squicked the fuck out by a lot of things in part 6 and so far haven't seen anything that would allegedly turn my opinion around that much. but there's still a lot left in this to go. im just. bored honestly.

REALLY funny how much "bice" comes off sounding like bitch. all my friends at home call me bitch

oh my god also hilarious. the golds in the submarine isnt it.

EVEN IF ITS A TOP SECRET BASE WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU HAVE A DOCTOR?

anybody else have to stop and hold their head for a minute every time wildly specific gun specs are listed for no reason whatsoever

anyways this fight over the gold is fun, i figured something was gonna have to happen that got everyone else off that island and left the gold, so this makes as much sense as anything. and feeling the drive to live despite it all after seeing genuine bloodshed for the first time is a little overdone but just fine.

*curb your enthusiasm theme starts playing* well at least he insisted on taking her to a doctor

ohhhhh we're confirming beato is really and for true kinzo's biological daughter *head in handssss*

PLEASE STOP PINCHING THIS MAN'S ASS!!!

oh my god, first acknowledgement that battler isn't here. i kinda figured since he's always been kinzo's mirror of sorts, he wasn't gonna be here because kinzo was alive. like there's no reason for that to be the case, but to me the logic felt sound. battler and kinzo haven't been in the same place at the same time, at least not in 1986. and it seems that will continue to be the case !!

STOP PINCHING EVERYONES ASSES

lion sucks, actually. wretched personality.

i was holding back on making a joke about how maria talks about beato the way christian billboards exclusively go on about how there's "evidence god exists" or whatever, but now she's reciting the bible word for word so i dont know what to do with my point but i have to share it now. i do like that her point seems to be that because maria doesn't have a father, she is jesus. good for you girl.

BEATOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and with the voice! ok so definitely that's the witch's voice.

alright this whole scenario can be argued as maria having an imaginary friend about it but if that piece of candy that beato told her to keep as a souvenir and not eat is still in maria's bag, magic is fucking Real.

also beato telling maria to practice basic hygene as her witch traini-- *has a jimmy neutron style brain blast and remembers the 1 (one) shinto shrine i've visited* OH, NO THIS IS A SHINTO THING. OK HELL YEAH. more of beato the "western" witch using japanese magics. i see i see i see.

fellas i may just like witch beato

#m.txt #umineko liveblog

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p-taryn-dactyl · 1 year

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15, 28, 43, 57, 62!

hi!!!

15: favorite book you’ve read as a school assignment?

A List of Cages by robin roe was during the summer before my freshman year of high school, a while back, and I remember annotating it, loving the plot, enjoying the assignment which was to take notes and annotate the pages if the book was our personal one and then we…didn’t do anything with it except a handout that said “did you do the reading?” with checkboxes labeled yes and no. I was so disappointed but I remember loving that book. There’s also Brain On Fire by Susannah Cahalan, which is just an amazing true story (the movie is ok but the book is just *chefs kiss*. I’m actually using it in my final project in my psychology course this year!!

28: five songs to describe you?

Damn. This is a hard one….i had to consult the counsel (my group chat) for guidance [edit: some were helpful…others weren’t] [another edit: i did take a few quizzes to find what songs describe me bc i was thinking of songs that i associated with me and idk if thats what this meant lol, can you tell i overthink things?]

no body, no crime by taylor swift

better than revenge by taylor swift

dear reader by taylor swift

human by gabrielle aplin

hi, it’s me by ashnikko (but I’m the best friend)

Ik it was mostly TS but i listen to her a lot so

43: hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket, or bomber jacket?

once upon a time i was recognized by the oversized jean jacket that i wore…not anymore. I love cardigans and leather jackets buttt i have the soul of an elderly librarian so definitively cardigan. (I love librarians, my Grammy was a librarian and she’s the best)

57: the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Coming out to myself. I actually came out to my friends before myself, which sounds weird but hold on. I knew i was queer so i told them, the ones i was comfortable with, about my sexuality. But i wasn’t in full terms with it. I grew up very religious and the way my church and family spoke about homosexuality just made me feel like an outcast. Thankfully, I’m proud of who i am today and while I’m terrified of the day I come out to my family, i know i can make it through the tough times if they come

My belief in god isn’t a struggle per se but i much prefer my relationship with them today than my past relationship with them. In the past i was a nightmare, just a total bitch and even though ik today it was because of how i was raised and what i absorbed and all the internalized homophobia, i still know it’s not an excuse to unlearn all my taught hatred so I’m pretty proud to say that i am a much, much better person today ✨character growth✨

My fear of death. While i haven’t completely overcome this, ive come to better terms with the fact that one day i will die and the only thing i can do is live life to the fullest and just live, not to force myself into a box of what i have to do but just enjoy being alive while i am. My new fear however is the ocean, just being alone in the middle of the sea, no boat just me…my heart beat very fast as I typed that

62: seven characters you relate to?

Percy Jackson. I have neither ADHD or dyslexia but i do wear my sarcasm and humor as my shield. Also, i just feel like he would be such a good friend and compliment to my personality

Tony stark. I do have anxiety and depression but i am not a billionaire or genius. I just get him, ya know? I can easily put myself in his place and see his thought process.

Daniel Jackson. Huge history nerd over here and he’s just the best, i love him

harry potter…my man is way too underrated for the main character. Same thing as tony, i just feel connected to his character

yelena belova. Idk why but i just feel like she’s what i could be if i was put in her situations ya know

alec lightwood, i too am a disaster gay and would be speechless at the sight of magnus bane

Nebula. I know what it’s like to be overlooked and forgotten but thankfully, like nebula, ive a found family that sees me

Thank you so much!!! I’m sorry my answers were so long lol 😅

#aparticularbandit #taryn answers asks #thanks for the ask!

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burialrite · 5 years

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shitty tags bc im yelling

#warning!!! im yelling about self harm #IDK MAN #last couple days been bad!! this is a weird way of reaching out into the cosmos but i am concerned for myself?#i keep forgetting i had a s/h addiction for fucking. ever #i still have it i guess like just cause im in recovery and have been for years doesnt mean it's not still there #it's weird because i dont always think about it but like. whenever a customer buys a pack of razors from me i think about it #when i see pencil sharpeners i think about it #and i dont know the last few weeks have been just more and more of that impulse as my anxiety gets higher #because it was always a coping mechanism for anxiety itself #i only had about a year where it was really bad but like addictions dont have a timeframe and i know this #it just feels like a weird thing to have gotten stuck on especially bc at 14/15 i trained my brain to react to life like this #and it's had a permanent effect on the way i think #all of my clothing is chosen in a certain way to avoid showing anything off and every time i think about relapse #i have the mental process of like 'ok where is the best for this what clothes can i wear' etc and it's stifling #ive been clean for another 8 months now and thats cool because it comes in chunks like that but im worried about the future #never know which way it's gonna go i guess but it feels like an inevitability to a degree #most of this is probably bc a) it's around a traumaversary rn and b) bc I keep seeing 'it's ok to relapse progress isnt linear' reminders #just funky #feel funky #mumblings

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sporesgalaxy · 2 years

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you probably get this a lot, but how did you learn to draw? your art style is so nice! do you have any tips for a beginner?

I learned from a Disney How To Draw The Fairies Of Pixie Hollow book and ...woof probably ~15 years of practice now???! So you can imagine trying to boil that down to general advice is difficult :(

I genuinely still draw hands the way that fairy book taught me, mostly, which is crazy lol. Wish I had it with me to take pics

But yeah ummmm my general advice is honestly? copy things you like! try them out, and by nature of being a different guy doing it, and combining it with a different set of other features, it will look different!

My fursona is a great example! A lot of it happens subconsciously for me now, but I took aspects LIBERALLY from my absolute favorite depictions of goofy looking cartoon animals!

[middle image is aimkid on youtube if you arent familiar! check her out she rules!!]

I think the hardest thing when I was learning to make character-focused art was figuring out WHAT it is I liked about how something looked. I spent many years wholly copying styles I liked for practice, and in the process Id catch on to the parts that were the most fun for me to do myself and keep them for when I wasnt specifically emulating anything.

Speeddraw / speedpainting videos are very good for learning new techniques to try, and I also recommend looking at traditional art techniques even if you do exclusively digital. For example, I never really Clicked with the Most archetypical digital art process (I dont like using layer filters to shade and I don't like making line art, etc), but I love doing digital art as though i'm using acrylics on canvas lol!

Thats not the only tip youll ever need by a long shot and style inspiration (especially for character art specifically as Ive kind of focused on) is a very small aspect of art, but it's where I started out focusing and I think I turned out ok lol! So I hope this is something kind of helpful at least? Have fun and best wishes!

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kk095 · 2 years

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Bethany’s Morning Run

*here's my latest story! Hope everyone enjoys!*

It was towards the end of our night shift (about 6:45 to be exact). The usual team was there in the ER, just hoping for an uneventful 15 minutes so we could all get out on time. All of our overnight patients were stable, handed off to the appropriate departments, or discharged, so things were looking good. That was until we got a call from dispatch at the main nurse’s station.

Nurse Nancy picked up the phone after some brief hesitation and began listening to the voice on the other end, nodding and writing down some information on a post-it note. After the brief phone call, Nancy hung up the phone. “well… looks like we’re working overtime. 32 year old female, auto vs pedestrian. She was out for a morning run and a guy blew a stop sign and clipped her. Looks like there’s an unstable pelvic fracture with a dislocated right leg, but there’s also some bruising on her URQ. Patient is semi conscious, hypotensive, and tachy. Medics set up IVs on the way and hung a bag of lactate and pushed some pain meds. ETA 3 minutes.” Nancy said to the team, giving us a rundown of what we were getting ourselves into.

I immediately sprung into action. “ok, let’s prep trauma 1. Let’s make sure we have a portable x ray in there, make sure we have an intubation tray ready to go in case her vitals tank, and get over to the blood bank and get 4 units unmatched o-neg, 2 units of platelets, and 2 units of plasma.” I ordered. “if we’re out of o-neg, get 4 units of whatever the hell we have and get rhogam from the pharmacy. Let’s page radiology and the all-knowing dr sarah.” Dr Lindsay added, throwing a subtle jab towards dr Sarah in the process.

Nurse Nancy and nurse Ashley left the ER briefly to temporarily gather the materials and personnel we felt necessary for the case, while nurse Heather helped Dr Lindsay and I prep the trauma room and get our PPE on.

Just as we got done prepping the trauma room, Ashley and Nancy return with the proper materials and begin setting them up, and double checking with us to make sure everything was good to go. At that point, we could hear the ambulance pulling up to the main entrance, with the doors slamming just seconds later.

In came 2 medics wheeling a stretcher with our patient Bethany on it, and gave us a rundown of her condition. I looked down on the stretcher and saw a cute, athletic brunette whose dark hair was in a ponytail. Her bluish grey eyes stood out in contrast to her dark hair, scanning the room full of strangers. Bethany laid on the stretcher in a c-collar, pelvic binder, and splint on her right thigh. Her body looked battered and bruised, but you can tell she had a skinny and toned body. One of the nurses snipped away at the black sports bra she was wearing, revealing her deceptively large breasts.

“Ok. Let’s transfer her carefully on my count. 1… 2… THREE!” Dr Lindsay called out to the team, carefully moving the injured woman onto the table underneath the large overhead light. Bethany was awake, but didn’t say much to the team. Her beautiful blue eyes scanned the room, seeming concerned about what was to come.

“Let’s run a CBC, BMP, and tox screen. Let’s get that x ray of her hip and leg.” I called out to the team. One of the nurses drew the blood needed for the lab tests, and then we quickly performed the x rays we needed. Bethany’s right femur wasn’t broken, but it was certainly dislocated and needed to be re-located surgically. The pelvic portion of the x ray confirmed what we suspected- unstable pelvic fracture. More specifically, a vertical shear fracture on the right hand side of the pelvic girdle. “what a mess. My morning’s shot.” Sarah said to herself, looking at the x ray.

The next portion of our trauma assessment was to perform a FAST scan. The ultrasound machine was prepped and the cool gel was squirted onto bethany’s torso. The chest portion of the FAST scan came back clear. The abdominal portion of the scan showed some bruising and minor bleeding in the upper right quadrant of the abdomen. Of course, the pelvic portion was most severe- Bethany’s pelvic cavity was full of blood. Sometimes with unstable pelvic fractures, there could be damage to nearby arteries and veins, causing internal bleeding and hypovolemic shock.

“I need to get her over to radiology. Let’s get a CT scan to get a better idea of what I’m getting into. Then we need to get her up to an OR.” Dr sarah said. “we need to get her BP up though. She’s still hypotensive after 1 unit of blood products.” Dr Lindsay added. “it’s ok. We’ll be no more than a few minutes in radiology.” Sarah replied, more or less disagreeing.

We threw a cover over bethany’s torso and scurried on over to radiology to get that much needed CT scan of her abdomen and pelvis.

“BP still dropping. Starting 2nd unit of blood.” Nurse Nancy called out while we wheeled the patient over to radiology. “she’s probably bleeding somewhere in her pelvis. We need to take her to the OR and figure it out up there.” I suggested to Sarah, feeling that the CT scan could delay much needed treatment. “It’ll be fine! We’ll be quick!” Sarah shouted back at me.

Once in radiology, we transferred bethany onto the table of the CT scanner and began the scan as soon as humanly possible. “come on… come on…” I could hear Sarah say under her breath in the observation area, looking at the radiology techs running the CT scanner. “One of you call the OR and tell them we’ll be up in 5.” Sarah said to me and Lindsay. “the scan is gonna take about 8-10 minutes Sarah. This was your decision, now you gotta wait it out.” I responded to Sarah, earning some brownie points with Lindsay in the process for clapping back at Sarah.

Further along in the scan, Dr sarah pushes the intercom button to talk to the patient in the scanner. “hey bethany, how’re you doing in there?” Sarah asked, to which she received no response. She pushed the button and called out again. “bethany? You doing ok in there?”, not receiving an answer again. Dr sarah had a gut feeling something wasn’t quite right. “stop the scan. I need to go in there.” She called out.

Sarah goes into the CT scanner room and finds Bethany unconscious on the scanner bed, with fresh blood accumulating on the pelvic binder. The heart monitor showed a blood pressure of 60/38, and a dropping heart rate. Dr Lindsay and I immediately realize the severity of the situation and head into the scanner room to help her back on the stretcher. The 3 of us get bethany back on the stretcher and begin wheeling her out. “lets get her to the OR!” I shouted. “actually no. I have an idea… take her next door into interventional radiology.” Dr sarah replied. Dr Lindsay and I looked at each other for a moment, not quite sure what was going through sarah’s mind. But we ultimately decided to give her a shot and we took her over to the interventional radiology suite.

Once there, Dr sarah takes command of the situation. “ok. One of you nurses… get her intubated. Dr Kenny, let’s get a PCTA set up.” She told me. “an angioplasty? What’re you doing?” I replied, confused. “don’t ask questions, we don’t have time. Get me an angiogram set up and start the arterial line in the right femoral artery.” She replied to me, ordering me around.

Meanwhile at the head of the bed, Lindsay was assisting the nurses in the intubation. “tubes in guys.” Dr Lindsay called out to us after completing the rapid sequence intubation.

As for me, I sterilized bethany’s inner thigh with some alcohol wipes and made a quick cut in the side of her upper thigh, and began inserting the angiogram catheter. Essentially, we were making a central line in the femoral artery instead of in the arteries of the neck or chest- not something I do everyday. But nonetheless, I was able to get the catheter inserted into the femoral artery, and I sutured it in place to make sure it wouldn’t go anywhere. However, bethany unfortunately converted to PEA after I finished getting my arterial line set up. “starting compressions!” nurse Nancy calls out, before delivering deep, strong chest compressions. Bethany’s large breasts jiggle and bounce around in sync with the compressions while nurse Ashley squeezes the bulb of the ambu bag every few seconds or so. The look on sarah’s face changed once she realized our patient was coding. “I gotta get started.” She said to herself.

Sarah got picked up an angiogram balloon from the kit and began figuring out how she was going to insert the balloon during an active code and without x ray guidance. After a brief moment, Sarah said “ok. Lindsay, use an ultrasound. Start by her thigh and work it up to the pelvis with me as I move. Once I’m in the common iliac artery, I’m gonna inflate the balloon cause that’s where I think the bleed is.” Sarah said to us. “and what if it’s not?” I replied. “im 90% sure that’s where it is. Trust me on this.” Sarah said back to me, confidently. “we’ve trusted you for this long and she’s coding on the table. Why stop now?” Lindsay blurted out, to which Sarah didn’t have any response.

With ongoing CPR, Sarah had to insert the balloon into a moving target, and navigate it to the correct spot. Lindsay held the ultrasound over bethany’s thigh and Sarah began inserting the balloon into the catheter steadily. Sarah was concentrating with everything she had, carefully maneuvering the balloon through the femoral artery in a slow, methodic upwards motion towards the right common iliac artery. “come on… come on… almost there.” She said, thinking out loud. “epi and atropine in.” one of the nurses called out, running this like a normal code.

It took Sarah another 2 minutes or so, but the balloon was in the correct location. “ok. I’m in. Inflating the balloon.” Sarah said. The balloon was expanded carefully over the coming seconds. “alright. I’m in!” Sarah called out confidently after inflating the balloon. “patient converted to v-fib doctor.” Nurse Nancy called out. “alright, let’s charge the paddles to 200.” I called out.

The defib paddles were charged, gelled, and handed to me. “everyone… clear!” I shouted urgently, pressing the paddles up against bethany’s bare chest. Her chest shot up in the air, arching her back briefly before returning to her precious position. “still in v-fib. Let’s shock again at 250.” I called out. Dr Lindsay stepped in and delivered a cycle of deep, violent chest compressions while the paddles recharged. “1, 2, 3, 4,…” I could hear her say under her breath, counting her compressions. Bethany’s belly bounced outward from the residual force of each of the compressions.

Finally, the paddles were ready to go, and I delivered the next shock. Bethany’s body jolted violently on the table in response to the shock. There was a brief pause after the shock, and we looked at the heart monitor. “I’ve got sinus brady. Strong carotid pulse.” Nurse Nancy called out, nodding in approval. “pupils equal and reactive. Total down time 5 minutes.” Nurse Ashley added. With the heartbeat restored, no additional blood accumulated in the pelvic binder/lower extremity- that means Sarah was right. The bleed was in the right common iliac artery, and just bought bethany some much needed time through some unconventional means, which made Sarah smugly happy.

But as an ER team, our work was now done. Sarah and the OR team went on to take over the case with assistance from orthopedics.

Sarah’s OR team and our orthopedics team worked on Bethany for most of the morning to repair the injuries in her pelvis.

They were fortunately able to repair the pelvic fractures by means of open reduction and internal fixation. The pelvic binder was able to be removed, and an arterial graft was placed in the right common iliac artery, stopping the internal bleeding and restoring normal bloodflow to the pelvic cavity and lower extremity. Lastly, the dislocated femur was popped back in place once the pelvic portion of the procedure was complete.

It took bethany about 6 months to recover fully, but she survived this whole ordeal thanks to Dr Sarah’s efforts.

55 notes · View notes

dystopia-fantasy · 3 years

Text

Always read the job description -Part 1

Max was a fit, well built man. He had been body building since he was 14 and now In his early 40s he has the body of a god, but is slowly getting to the age when he needs to find another way to make money. He knows he can't take part in his competitions anymore, and needs to take it easy. He got great grades in school and college, proving people wrong that you can't be a nerd in a jock body.

Max had some money saved and was able to keep up on bills for a few months but needed a job to keep his large house, in the rich area of the city. He got a call from a business he applied to a couple of days ago, telling him to go in for an interview tomorrow, and if it goes well he will be sent straight on a trip for the company. He gets his new blue suit ready to be worn the next day.

The morning arrives, it's 5am, and Max wakes. He does his normal morning routine, making breakfast, working out, taking a shower, then gets his suit on ready for his early morning interview. Driving to the office building in the middle of New York, it's at least 50 stories high, and is made of mostly glass, and is one of the newest modern builds in the city.

On arrival a large man in his late 60s wearing a suit greets him, "hello sir, you must be max, Sir Mammon is on his way down to collect you, may I say what an amazing suit you have on today".

Max looks the man up and down, seeing the man's huge belly flowing out from under his dress shirt, showing a massive W shape, "thanks mate, you might want a bigger shirt" then points to his belly.

"sorry if I offended you sir, but all clothing has been chosen by Sir Mammon himself" Mammon is the big boss of the business "if you would like to make a complaint I can print you a form".

Max laughs, "No thanks, I'm gonna sit over there, tell Mammon im there".

"will do sir, have a great day" the man says while max walks away paying no more attention to him.

About 15 minutes later a young handsome slender man walks over. "Max is it?" He says behind Max.

"yes.." max says confused.

"I'm Mammon, nice to meet you" he smiles holding his hand out for a shake.

"oh hello Mammon, is wasn't expecting someone so young, no offence of course" max shaking his hand.

Mammon let's out a little laugh, with a little grin "it's ok max, people don't expect someone like me to own such a remarkable company like this one would you like to follow me, we can go up to my office, this is Mark by the way, he's my Butler". Mark is another large man aged around 50, he has a massive belly stuffed into his suit, hes huffing and puffing, like he ran a marithon, "don't mind him, most of my staff are..."

Max cuts him off "fat?"

They both laugh, "you could say that Max" the elevator arrives and they all walk in, "now max, you did read the whole advertisement correct?".

Max didn't, it's was 48 pages long, who would read it all? He just looked at the wage he would get, it started at $100,000 per month. "Yes, I did".

"that's good, most guys are more keen to keep their body's but I guess if your struggling you'll do anything."

Max now confused just nod's and watches though the glass elevator as they fly up to the top floor.

"where here sir" Mark the butler says peacefully in his British accent.

They walk into the room, and Mammon sits at his desk pouring himself a glass of wisky, and Max one too. Max looks around in aww, the room was covered in art work, with the walls painted in golds and whites and had its own bar. "How do you have all this money?" Max asked.

"a mix of many things, this company, and a few investments paid for this whole building, I have many other ways but we're not here for that." Mammon points at the seat," take a seat max" Max sits the chair is made from leather and is very comfy. "So, max, I've gone through your file, I think you're perfect for the job."

"so, does that mean I have the job?" Max replies confused, expecting to be asked a question.

"well yes, if you agree to the terms"

"terms?" Max still confused.

"well yes, you expect to be paid 10times the amount the normal person for this job without any terms or conditions?"

"well I didn't know.." Max gets cut off.

"Max let me simplify them for you. You sacrifice your body to the company, and in trade you get, $100k X the amount you weigh paid into your account per month, So if you weigh 450lbs, you get $450k a month."

"what the fuck? That's sick, I'm not doing that, I'm leaving" and with that Max got up from the chair and stood face to face with Mammon, with the desk all that is separating them. "Your sick, you fa**ot".

With that Mammon's eyes glow a bright red. "I'm a what?" Max got through back against the chair by an invisible force. "Max you could have just left with your freedom, but now look what you've gotten yourself into".

"Let me go, What the fuck?" Max says while traped against that chair, it chreeking with the force of his muscle.

"I'm a fucking demon max, I'm never going to 'let you go'" he took a second break to mock max, "now, what did you say? Fa**ot, was it?".

"fuck, I didn't mean it" the force pins him down harder, trapping his arms against the leather chair arms, and pushing his legs against the underboard. "Please let me go home, I won't do it again."

"shut up max, the process is already starting".

Max looks down to see his body deflating, his pecs turning from mountain peaks to a flat surface, his giant powerful arms turning weak and light. And then looking up he sees a whole new man infront of him.

"Not as big as I thought I would get, but boy I'm big" he took a break to admire his new giant arms and pecs.

"what the?" Max looks in confusion, "how did you do that? Give me them back".

"what are you gonna do max? I'm an infinitely powerful being and you, your an old man, or at least your going to be."

"I'm only 42, what do you mean, going to be?"

"you see I don't have my infinite life span on earth, so to stay alive and in this fit body, I absorb anything a guy has and I want. In your case, these massive muscles, but then I need to absorb their life force as well, in order to make sure I don't age."

"what do you mean life force?"

"well, you have roughly 50 years, worth of life left, I'll drain about 20 years leaving you in your future crippled body at around age 60, force you to work for the company for another 20 years, then when your 80 drain the rest of your life, which after you get fat won't be much, then you got to hell."

"man your sick, let me go, LET ME GO!".

A bright red light shoots from Peters hand enveloping Max's whole body, and he starts to age, his face wrinkling, skin dropping, eye sight worsening, hearing getting muffled, and mind changing a little. "Max, you ok old man?".

"yes sir" max was confused in his mind, why did he say sir?

"max, you ready for your Cruise? You can have tones of food for the next 6 months."

"Yes sir, I'm ready" max lifts his head, opening his eyes to see a new blurry room from his new old eyes.

"you're gonna need these from now on" Peters eyes glow and a new pair of glasses appear on Max's face he can now see clear.

"thank you... Sir", max blinks seeing Peter infront of him, "what have you, done to me".

"Max, I've turned you into the perfect office worker, old, brainiac, who is soon going to get fat and live the rest of his life, in an office chair for me, don't worry for accomodation you live here now, we have apartments on floor 30 to 40, all workers live here, it's policy, we have also sent a team to your house to, well, blow it up, that way nobody is going to be looking for you, becuase we can plant a body"

"give me... My.... Body back, give me... My.. life back."

"Max we both know that will never happen, now enjoy a life of gluttony, and prepare yourself for hell, that's gonna be worse then anything I can do to you." Peter snaped his fingers and a red glow enveloped max.

Recovering from the glow max sees two men infront of him with a trolly of sorts between them. "Is he awake" one says,

"I don't know" said the other.

"im- awake" max said in a much older raspy voice.

"good we can now start the feeding" the man on the left said, his body as muscled as a god, ripped from head to toe, and we can see everything.

Max rubs his eyes under his glasses and opens them again, "Fucking hell, put some clothes on both of you".

Both men where nude, one a ripped god, another muscled up but with a big gut. "Clothes are banned here mate" the beefy man said in a type of Australia accent, "you cant say much fella, look at that tiny pecker".

The men laughed pointing at Max's shriveled up old cock and low hanging balls, "what the fuck"max tries to move his arm to cover him but his arm doesn't move, he looks down to see him stuck in a chair, with a cut out hole under his ass, and straps tying him down, trapping him. "What... Are you gonna do to me?" Max asked sceared.

The men laughed at him again, "no need to act to sceared, we're here to feed you for the next 6 months".

"but... Sir said..." Max get cut off.

"he said you'd be going on a cruise? Fucking hell are you dumb? He's a demon, you shouldn't trust a demon" The muscled guy says.

"bro let's start the feeding we have 50 other guys to see and I wanna watch football Tonight." The beefy guys says, and in unison both their eyes glowed a bright red, showing they where demons too.

The trolly between them had several items on top, one long tube, which floated in the air for a few moments before shoving itself down maxes nostril and deep into his stomach, his head flipped back trying to wriggle it out, but it was stuck. Another item moved into his frame, a IV bag holder, holding a giant barrel type object made of glass, and two large bags floated of the table again and started to drain into the barrel, and the tube connected itself to it, starting a flow of the liquid into maxes stomach.

"done" the beffy guy said. "Now we'll be back tomorrow to refill your barrel, and clean you up if you make a mess, but youll basically be unconscious for the next 6 months, due to the drugs were feeding you."

"so enjoy your sleep mate, you'll litterally wake up a different man." The two men laughed and walked out, max tried fighting the restraints but in his crippled form could do nothing. The door slammed and locked, and the room fell dark, max screamed begging into the darkness to be let free, and to have his life back, which he had only an hour before, but nothing happened, nobody came. He felt the drugs taking effect, but tried to fight back, but it was useless, his body slumped and loosened. His mind fell blank as he drifted of into his 6 month hibernation.

124 notes · View notes

mearcatsreturns · 3 years

Note

15 for Abby/Luka

For reasons ;)

Under a cut because it's long.

July 2003

To: Luka Kovac <“[email protected]”>

From: Abby Lockhart <“[email protected]”>

Subject: I’m drowning and praying ghosts are real

Dear Luka,

Something about knowing that I’ll never talk to you again is just unbearable. I’ll never laugh at your malapropisms, look into your beautiful eyes, feel your strong hands holding mine, or make love to you again. There won’t be any more jokes about jam and cheese on toast, or you teasing me for my weak but constant supply of coffee. I’ll never hear your amazing, deranged laughter after you prank someone again. No more of your hugs—which are somehow the best hugs in the world. Because you’re gone.

It’s been three days since we got the call telling us you died thousands of miles from home, whether that’s here in Chicago or in Croatia. I didn’t know your dad’s name, Luka. We needed to call him, and I didn’t know. How did I not know? And now I can’t. I mean, L’Alliance told us his name, but the fact that I’ll never learn pieces of your history, of the wonderful man you are, FROM you...how am I supposed to go on and live my life?

For years, I’ve thought medicine was my great thwarted love. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and I thought I was bitter about having to let go of that dream. Now I wonder. I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing medicine, and it’s made me...well, it’s part of why I was so unhappy. But that makes me think about how I also let obstacles get in the way of us. I was happy with you, you know, until I let fear and my mother and Carter get in the way. God, I wish I could do that over again. We could have had everything, and if I hadn’t gotten in my own way, I’d be happy. I think maybe I could have made you happy, too.

It’s funny. I knew things with Carter weren’t working, and he implied you were part of it. I said it wasn’t, but then five minutes later, I found out you were—are—dead. And I realized you were the reason, or one of the big ones. As soon as Chuny told me, I knew I loved you and had loved you for years. Yeah. Great timing, isn’t it? I keep thinking that maybe I could have kept you from going if I had known or if I had told you. I didn’t want you to go when I thought you were my very attractive friend and ex that I still was fond of. Knowing that I love you—how do I move past that? Knowing that I lost you, first to my stupidity and then to death?

I just...I miss you, and I don’t when I’ll stop, or how to. Susan caught me crying on my last shift, and I didn’t even know what to say. I feel like I’ve been crying or standing still, brittle and stuck in time, since I heard the news. I can’t, Luka. I know I have to keep on moving, and I thought maybe writing you would help. I know you’ll never see this, never have a chance to respond. But the idea that some fragments of your soul linger and can maybe sense...I don’t know. That I’m writing? What I’m feeling? Jesus, this is crazy.

All my love,

Abby

Abby angrily swipes the tears from her eyes. God, what’s the point of writing this? He’ll never see hsi email or her again. Just...without Luka, how can the world be anything but grim and sad and pointless?

She laughs mirthlessly. Maybe it doesn’t matter. No, she knows it doesn’t. Because Abby knows the futility of it, aches with the meaninglessness, she presses send without another thought.

&&&

Three days after that, a miracle occurs. Luka, the Lazarus of this new millennium, comes back from the dead. He’s never been dead, and maybe, Abby thinks, there’s a God above after all. So many people wish for this exact boon, and she—they, the world—gets it. Some higher power believes this planet is a better place with Luka Kovac in it, and Abby is ecstatic.

Until she remembers the email and that they can’t be unsent.

It’s fine. She’ll be fine. Luka is coming back, apparently with a French nurse. Maybe he’ll just delete it without reading it. Maybe it didn’t go through—how does email work for the dead, and how quickly is all that processed?

Abby shakes her head. It doesn’t matter; Luka is alive and returning to them. She can handle a little awkwardness in the face of the sheer joy of knowing the world is a brighter, kinder place. He’s coming back, and that’s what’s important.

&&&

August 2003

It takes Luka almost a week after returning to Chicago to convince Kerry and the other staff to let him go back to his apartment. Even so, they only agree when Gillian assures them she’ll see to his every need.

Abby winces when she hears that, and it makes something flutter in Luka’s chest. Which probably isn’t good for his malaria, but the hope...that is.

It’s another two days of lying in bed before he has the energy to ask Gillian to bring him his laptop. At this point, it’s been months since he’s checked his email, and Luka grimaces at the undoubtedly horrible state of his inbox. He briefly considers never checking again and just getting a new one, but he knows his father struggled to add him to his contacts once already. To expect it of him again would be absurd.

With a sigh, Luka opens his email. It’s just as bad as he feared. He snorts at the myriad messages about Viagra, Nigerian princes, and Russian brides, deleting them without thought. He saves a couple from his dad. He slowly whittles down his inbox, but he freezes when he gets to one email in particular, sent about a month ago.

It’s from Abby, during the time everyone thought he was dead.

Luka considers calling and asking her if someone hacked her email or is sending spam from her account, but the subject line...it looks real. And Abby’s been odd around him lately, seeming both deliriously happy to see him and awkwardly nervous.

His heart pounds, and he clicks to open it. If this is a spammer, they’re probably about to get whatever they want.

&&&

Abby pours herself another coffee, internally swearing as she prepares for the last two hours of her shift. Deciding to go back to school is great; having to coordinate all the details is less thrilling and leaves her tired and cranky.

Frank ducks his head into the lounge, beady eyes narrowing on her. “Hey, Abby. The Croat is on the phone for you. Line 2. Try to get back out there as fast as you can, Weaver’s yelling at the med students about IVs.”

“Okay, Frank,” Abby says, though she flushes and her palms start to sweat. It’s fine. She can always hide the panic and butterflies in her stomach with sarcasm. It has yet to fail her.

Frank gives her one last suspicious look, then nods and heads back to Admit.

Abby takes a deep breath, then picks up the phone. “Hey, Luka?”

“It’s me. Glad I could reach you. How are you?” He sounds...ugh. So good. And eager and happy, and her heart could leap right out of her chest.

“Doing all right. I just have a couple hours left on this shift, and it hasn’t been too awful today. Only one MVA. How about you? You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Recovering. Listen, did you want to come over for dinner?”

“Please tell me you’re not trying to cook.”

“What? I’m a good cook, even if you don’t appreciate wonderful, traditional Croatian dishes,” he says with a chuckle.

“Luka, you just got out of the hospital five days ago. You still need to be resting.”

“Abby, don’t worry so much. I was just kidding. I have some sandwiches from Manny’s, and Anna sent me home with lots of matzo ball soup too.”

Abby bites her lip. Of course she wants to go. But the prospect of spending the evening with Gillian cooing over Luka, knowing that she shares a bed with him, is decidedly less appealing. And there’s the email she sent, which Luka hasn’t acknowledged. He might well have deleted it, or he’s giving her a gracious out.

Her conscience twinges as soon as she thinks about bailing, though. Didn’t she promise herself she wouldn’t take life for granted anymore? She’ll go back to med school, she’ll have dinner with Luka when he asks.

“Abby?”

She starts, realizing she needs to respond. “Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. I can be there an hour after my shift, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.” He has no idea how much, even if she wishes she knew for sure that he’d deleted the email.

&&&

Abby rings Luka’s doorbell three and a half hours later. She’d meant to come straight from work, but after a patient vomited on her, she decided to head home, shower, and splurge on a taxi to Luka’s. The poor man is recovering from being deathly ill and doesn’t need County’s fumes making things worse.

There’s the sound of the deadbolt sliding, and Luka answers the door, grinning happily at her. “Good, you made it! Come on in!”

“I did. Sorry it took me longer than expected.” Abby steps into his apartment, looking around. It’s been such a long time since she’s been here, and she notes the subtle changes in the art and decor.

“No worries. I know how it goes.” He places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her inside.

Abby stiffens for a second at how his touch burns even through the layers of her shirt and light jacket, but she relaxes, enjoying the feel while she waits for Gillian to appear and end the fleeting joy.

Luka is unfazed. “Now, of course we can just eat the sandwiches, but if you want to heat up the matzo ball soup, you can. Since you don’t want me standing,” he says with a wink.

Abby smiles back, shaking her head. “Oh, I see how it is. Make the woman who worked all day do more household work when she gets ho—wait, where’s Gillian? Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of you?”

“She’s not here,” he says simply.

Going to the fridge and taking out the containers of soup, Abby places them in the microwave. Is Gillian out for the evening, or is she gone gone? “Shouldn’t you be with her? Or her here with you, whatever.”

Luka is quiet for a long minute, and Abby wonders if he intends to answer. Finally, he breaks the silence. “I asked her to leave.”

Abby’s pulse speeds up. “What? Why?”

Luka takes a deep breath, clearly ready to respond, and—

The microwave dings, and they both jump. Exchanging a sheepish look, they laugh.

“Look, let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Abby dishes up their soup and sandwiches, preparing trays so they can sit on the couch. Luka turns on the television, and Abby’s heart rate comes back under control. They sit together in companionable silence while they eat and watch Thom and Jai and the rest of the Fab 5 whip some hapless lawyer’s life into order. When they finish their meal, Abby cleans up, taking the trays back to the kitchen.

She heads back to the couch at the opposite end from Luka, not daring to get closer when she really has no idea what’s going on.

Luka clears his throat and mutes the TV. “So, yeah. I asked Gillian to leave.”

“Oh. So, um, did you break up?”

“She was never my girlfriend, really. She has a boyfriend back in Montreal, they just…” Luka shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.

Abby is more lost than ever. “Ah.”

Taking a deep breath, Luka continues, finally looking over at her. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she helped me get here and took care of me, but we were never serious.”

Something starts to tug at Abby’s heart, squeezing and twisting and kicking to get free. Is it...hope? “Well, I’m glad she got you here safe, but you should have someone staying with you while you recover, Luka. Malaria is dangerous.”

He gives her a look. “I know how dangerous malaria is. I’m getting better. And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair for me to ask her to stay when things are over because I’m in love with someone else.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “Someone else?” she squeaks.

Luka nods, swallowing. “Yeah. And I have a reason to think she might be in love with me too.” He slides over to her side of the couch, reaching for her hand.

Abby meets his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that are the best color in the world—and squeezes his hand, incapable of words. Does he mean…?

With his other hand, Luka reaches up and cups her cheek, running his thumb along the subtle arch of her cheekbone. “Abby, if you’ve changed your mind since you sent that email, please tell me to shut up.”

That stupid, ridiculous email might be the best thing she’s ever done in her life. She leans into his hand, licking her lips as she shakes her head slightly. “I haven’t changed my mind. I didn’t mean for you to see it and hoped I could learn how to hack computers and delete it but—”

Luka cuts her off. “I would never forgive you if you managed to delete it. You wouldn’t believe how much faster I healed after that.”

Abby leans forward, sliding into Luka’s waiting arms. “Then maybe I’ll write you some more emails.”

“Emails aren’t what I want right now,” Luka says.

Funny, Abby doesn’t either. Then his lips brush hers, and all her worries and fears fade away. She knows she has to tell him about med school and he needs to finish recuperating, but when Luka deepens their kiss and pulls her closer, Abby ceases to think at all.

She has Luka back, and now they have each other again.

#er #nbc er #er ff #luby #luby ff #abby lockhart #luka kovac #<3 #my fanfic

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fireteam-starfall · 2 years

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wrote all of this ina discord chat so im just gonna paste it here as a whole chunk— MY REACTIONS TO THE SEASON OF THE RISEN STORYLINE

Reaction to Season of the Risen Storyline

first problem w how salad is going about mentoring crow—

He’s completely blowing off his concerns as foolish without actually doing anything to help crow understand the necessity of what we’re doing. Instead of helping him work through the reasons we have to do these things, he’s just telling him to basically suck it up and quit complaining

SECONDLY THAT STORY ABOUT THE GIRL WHO HE ‘SPARED’ ONCE HAS ME FUMING because the way I see it, her journey from thief to bandit leader was less because of his sparing her at all, but because instead of actually guiding her and helping her make the most of the life hes allowed her to keep, he just gave her a trinket and some vague words that could be interpreted any which way and then he fucked off!!

the moral of not letting your sympathy to the criminal outweigh your duty to the victims is completely understandable and i agree w it wholeheartedly, but at the same time this isn’t about sparing our enemies, Crow is worried we are Becoming What We Are Fighting Against

and poor zavala is trying to get salad to understand where crow is coming from and also get salad to give him proper guidance, but it’s becoming more and more obvious to me that these two just dont fit each other in a teacher-student sense. incompatible

there are just so many better ways to allay crows doubts. tbh i feel like caiatl would be much better at teaching him why this is all necessary, because from what ive seen in the lore shes much better at being understanding w her forces and colleagues. the best way to encourage someone to never trust you is to blow them off completely when they show doubt, and i feel like she understands that

i think part of the reason it bugged me so much is because the whole scene made me feel like i was trying to talk to my dad about politics and it rlly put me in crows shoes

i feel like salads whole pov is based off of his need to be completely doubt free. He feels like he needs to be firmly in the right, so he cant have any doubts because that means he could be wrong and that would mess up his whole thought process. this leads to him being overly confident and hard headed and blowing off other peoples concerns about his choices, because if theyre right he would be wrong and he Cant Be Wrong otherwise its all for nothing. if that makes any sense idk

-Me via discord, March 13th

ok update on my guardians view of the situation— after the debrief from this weeks mission i feel a lot more optimistic both for saladins teaching of crow(he asked the psion to talk to him!! he said the psion was respectful, and that they had the same view of the situation that i talked about having!! he’s trying to change for the better!!) And the alliance w the cabal, because zavala and caiatl have been getting along really well and both sides are finding common ground!!! i don’t wanna get my hopes up Too much because its only three weeks into the season’s story but im optimistic

—Me via discord, March 14

I SPOKE TOO SOON DAMMIT

i saw none of this comin

never thought id say it this season, but thank fuck for saladin;;

—Me via discord, March 15

and he has finally given some actual advice to crow, with the whole ‘you dont know enough about yourself to know whats right yet’ and ‘you have all these memories of uldren sovs experience while you have only a few years of your own’ stuff, and thats really good

i feel bad for the psion, but it really was a well intentioned, albeit misguided, mistake. it all could have been avoided if crow had thought to ask the psion how to disable the machine first, but whats done is done

and now i think what crow needs is a sleepover w the guardian and maybe amanda(if she feels up to seeing him again yet) and saint because i feel like he needs some emotional support/pep talks rn

also saint could use some emotional support too atm so i think itd help him too. maybe should also invite eva and suraya, eva because everyone needs a good grandmother/mother figure, and suraya would probably be entirely on crows side of thinking but also be pragmatic about it so shed give good advice

—Me via discord, Today(March 16)

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #witch queen #destiny 2 witch queen #destiny the game #and scene.

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uselessheretic · 2 years

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I posted 3,208 times in 2021

999 posts created (31%)

2209 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 911 tags in 2021

#a3 - 456 posts

#a3.txt - 176 posts

#word of honor - 83 posts

#tfatws - 68 posts

#wonder egg priority - 31 posts

#writings - 23 posts

#jjk - 20 posts

#arts - 20 posts

#wep spoilers - 19 posts

#a3:pcu - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#anyways sorry ive had misumi brainworms since i saw his pirate stage play and decided that im going to personally hunt his father for sport

My Top Posts in 2021

ok but like the absolute insanity of warner bros releasing a false statement that jason momoa was going to be playing a role of frosty the snowman to distract from the accusations of racism and that jason momoa had to actually go on instagram and say that it was done without his permission and was a fucked up try at distracting from the abuse on set like

172 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 17:03:20 GMT

really into the idea that itarus workplace is actually all spies and shit except for itaru who through a series of coincidences and mishaps ended up passing the fake interview/application process really well. so hes just like some dude doing his job without realizing that he technically works for an international spy company or some shit but all his coworkers are weirdly fond of him like yea this is our emotional support civilian

188 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 17:16:54 GMT

all the adults in a3 learn that they have to actually coordinate with each other when buying a gift for sakuyas birthday after the first year when sakuya vaguely mentioned in a lil sad orphan voice “i never got to learn how to ride a bike but im sure i will one day!” and then received 7 for his birthday

232 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 02:21:50 GMT

my proposal is that people can talk about their disappointment of being a former gifted kid but only if they add onto every mention of gifted with "which is literally eugenics"

690 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 03:01:07 GMT

some fast facts about archive of our own:

which are available through their public budget which you can find here

THIS POST WAS SO LONG WHAT THE FUCK anyways i hate ao3❤️

899 notes • Posted 2021-10-15 18:24:04 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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mosilion · 2 years

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my parents sold their house a few weeks ago, catching the big real estate boom. now theyre doing that nomad thing, living out of a trailer and driving around the country staying at campsite and state parks etc.

they had to get rid of almost everything, but they did get a storage room to keep some stuff. im kind of a hoarder and i probably got it from them, so it must have been hard. it was hard for me to say its ok to get rid of this or that old thing of mine so a lot of it is in that storage space, but there wasnt really that much stuff of mine anyway. i went to have dinner with them a week or two before closing to have the last supper at my childhood home

im so bad at moving it feels like such an arduous process, every lease feels like a scam, and i pack everything together in a big mess at the last minute. this is despite having moved literally every year since ive been 18! well more actually, im 28 now and have lived in 11 different places. am i always running from something, or what?

i went through a huge bag of my old toys when i was there, most of which were weird monster action figures bought by my grandparents who would bring me new toys when they visited and they visited often. i hadnt seen these in many years and now its been many years since theyve passed, 20 and 15 respectively.

mourning is a strange process i dont really understand. its embedded temporally in some kind of way, in the way things are always changing and becoming lost from how they were. the thing then is a memory within the thing now, or on the surface? or only in my mind who remembers? ive smoked too much weed in my adult life to remember things very well, the past does feel alienated.

now my parents are ‘homeless’ i tell myself. well not exactly, its by choice and they could find another place to settle down once theyre done with adventuring. but i cant become neet fail-son and go live with them anymore, its off the table, totally on my own. i mean, im sure theyd help me if i needed it.

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mycptsdrecovery · 3 years

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TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

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